Runelord of Greed's page

Just wanted to stop by and mention that I own this thread, just like everything else. Posting here is allowed at the reasonable price of ten gold pieces.

Excellent. The Paizo employees are already working for us.

Joe the Aboleth wrote:

The Eighth Runelord wrote:

Fellow runelords:

Can we at least agree that someone needs to send a message to the Paizo staff informing them that we are their new masters- their immediate and terrible (if they disobey us) future- and that they should count themeselves lucky for not being taxed for the privilige of writing about us?
I know that some of you will have difficulties rousing yourselves to agree (or otherwise) so I would think that a majority verdict from amongst the classic seven of you would suffice.

::telepathically:: Hmm. Can we get a cut? Our past differences aside, we wouldn't want to pass up a business opportunity. Besides, you guys owe us one for that whole "rune magic" thing.

Also, we take offense at the use of the term "Mankind."

You mean the aboleths want:

Runelord of Greed wrote:

a lack of decent respect to the opinions of mankind

extended to include a lack of decent respect for the opinions of aberrations as well? You want to be ignored and undervalued?

Well I'm fairy certain that my fellow Runelords will be happy to address that concern, and to show a lack of decent respect for aberrations, as well, if you're certain that that's what you want....

That's exactly why I chose "mankind." Humans and humanoids can't oppose us, but the abberations brought about our downfall the first time around. Thus, their opinions will be negotiable in the new forum order.

Fellow runelords:

Can we at least agree that someone needs to send a message to the Paizo staff informing them that we are their new masters- their immediate and terrible (if they disobey us) future- and that they should count themeselves lucky for not being taxed for the privilige of writing about us?
I know that some of you will have difficulties rousing yourselves to agree (or otherwise) so I would think that a majority verdict from amongst the classic seven of you would suffice.

Yes. We should write a Declaration of Ownership.

"When in the course of human events, it becomes necessary for seven people to dissolve the bands which have controlled their actions on a forum, and to assume the powers of the earth, the separate and greater station to which the laws of the internet and of the gods do not entitle them, a lack of decent respect to the opinions of mankind requires that they should declare the causes which impel them to the takeover."

hmm aparently paizo is fighting back by stealing our guises

I told you, Gary Teter needs to be eliminated. He holds too much power over this domain.

By the way, do you suppose that we should pour water on those sheet of paper that Sloth's minion currently seems to be inflicting paper-cuts on the First King with, or do we watch for a while longer? Personally I'm for watching.

Let's watch. When's the last time you heard about a severed head dying of paper cuts?

lastknightleft wrote:

First King wrote:

Rollrollrollrollrollroll.

There was a Canadian movie about this...Nothing starring David Hewlitt (Rodney McKay) of Stargate: Atlantis. Hey, Runelord of VHS, any copies of it lying around?

5
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.
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See eventually even kings need to come to me, truly VHS is the TRUE POWER I pity all of you with your measly sins.

You seem to have annoyed or tantalised one of the other Runelords so much that they have cancelled or stolen your runelord guise.

I don't need divinations to tell you who the most likely candidates for that were.

Hey, I may be the Runelord of Greed, but I tell people when I take their stuff.

Secretly applies the contact poison to Sloth's Runecheetos.

We have interlopers, do we? Swinging a matched pair of rods that look oddly like billy clubs...one is marked "Absorb"...the other "Cancel."

No need for those. They would undo the spells that turned the intruders into such great decorations.

Casts Flesh to Stone on the invaders, then turns the statues into gold with Polymorph Any Object

It would appear these . . . things are invading my, I mean, our capital. Any suggestions on how to remove them? I could make some lovely gold statues . . .

Joe the Aboleth wrote:

::telepathically::What's this!?! Didn't we spank you all and send you off to bed for a couple centuries? (And more importantly, didn't many of you enjoy that? - Sloth, Lust, I'm looking at you.)

Hey, I thought that was just speculation by scholars in the distant future!

From what I've heard, they did it, but their main goal was to destroy Azlant (that's why the Azlanti sank into the sea and not us).

* That reminds me, Runelord of Greed. Nice gambling operation you had going on that barge near Turtleback Ferry. I was passing through the area the other day and happened to drop in to see how your minion was doing. Lamia Matriarch by the name of Lucrecia, right?

Yeah, a way to simultaneously resurrect myself and make profit. Probably my best plan to date.

Runelord of Sloth wrote:

First King wrote:

See, this proves you are not the real Runelord of Sloth. If you were, you wouldn't be doing so much talking.

And don't tell me that you are dictating, that takes work too. Unless, of course, you have a permanent telepathic effect with your scribes.

Your underestimation of my abilities is laughable. Roguerouge, dispatch him immediately.

Oh no, please don't kill me AGAIN. How much diamond dust is there in the world?

A mouse fighting a severed head? This should be interesting.

::telepathically::What's this!?! Didn't we spank you all and send you off to bed for a couple centuries?

We got better.

I think our first order of business should be choosing a Topic to be our Capital. None of this "everybody gets their own" business again.

Oi vey, what have I wrought?

-E.X.

What? Why are there two of you?! There isn't even supposed to be one! You're dead!

That said, this thread seems the obvious capital.

The last time I counted, there were EIGHT schools of magic, and all the rest of you just tell yourselves that Divination's not worth focussing on. Hah. It doesn't stop you from dabbling in the school to further your own goals. Naturally, a master of Divination knows the best way to hide oneself away until a suitable moment to return arises.

I don't think you need to worry about being paranoid about what your associates are upto. If they were planning to double-cross you any time soon, some convenient adventurers would be along to inadvertantly bungle the double-cross in your favour.

Ah, divination. Hence, "the future."

And yeah, you're probably right. No need to worry.

Hmmm. Runelord of Greed: My research has revealed that you have been in contact with Leng and working on a time travel device. Have you worked out how to 'dial forward' with it yet?

Not ANOTHER one!

And I don't know. My workers won't explain exactly how it works to me until it's done, so the details don't get overheard and leaked. Sometimes I worry about whether they're really doing this to help me, but I'm probably just being paranoid.

If any runelords should be cut, it should be the redundant runelords. What exactly is the difference between sloth and gluttony? A bong and some cheetohs, that's what. How is that eating while sitting on your ass a distinct sin from just sitting on your ass? Is playing video games while sitting on your ass a distinct sin too?

Sloth has other people feed him.

Runelord of Greed wrote:

Aye!

WTF? I'm on your side you freaking ingrate. I am all about unequal distributions of resources. Someone has to be rich, why not you? We'll just take whatever that lazy SOB slothlord has - he won't even notice.

I'm very good at taking care of that myself. I don't need help that would want pay above minimum wage!

Aye!

Ah, geez. More runelords? You know, if there gets to be too many of you, something catastrophic could happen!

Yeah, I could get a smaller share of what we conquer!

Runelord of Greed wrote:

I demand a card.

They already made one: Aurification.

I thought a spell that turns things to gold was appropriate.

I approve.

Alright, here is the remote. But you have to promise to be productive from now on.

What? How did you get that?! I thought I had . . . um, I mean I thought you had died.

*waits until Sloth isn't looking, then pockets the remote*

I demand a card.

Enough with the bickering and finger-pointing. I didn't put forth excessive effort to start this group just to fight amongst ourselves. How shall we go about destroying Paizo.com? You're the men (and women) of action, so get crackin'!

Well, I think we should start by removing this "PostMonster" known as Gary Teter from his position of power. He holds power that I, um, I mean we could take.

Afterwards, I suggest that we domesticate the post-eating bug and train it to control the flow of information.

First King wrote:

All of you shut up and get back to work!

Uh, yeah. You know that "work" and I don't get along so well together. I'll gladly watch everyone else do it. Plus, aren't you dead?

I blame Gluttony. He's supposed to be in charge of Necromancy.

Really? Tell me more about your minions, they are new to me. Are you interested in a...trade, perhaps?

No, I need them at the moment. They're working on some kind of time travel device . . . I don't really understand the details. Maybe I should ask them about that. No, that would be a waste of time. How much harm could it do?

Yeah, uh, Wrath? While you're yelling about whatever can you hand me the remote? It's too far to reach and I'd like to be able to turn the volume up to drown out your rage. Can't you take it out on someone else? Go kill some of Greed's minions.

I wouldn't recommend trying. My minions are from Leng. And I charge a high price for lost minions.

No, thanks for the offer, but I'll just take everything.