RPG Superstar 2010 Top 16
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Some years ago, about the time 3rd Edition switched over to 3.5, some friends and I were sitting around a table, planning a campaign. C. would be running the rest of us through the Ashardalon series of adventures, and we were designing characters. C’s wife tweaked the archetype Chaotic Nasty gnome ranger she always played, and his son began statting up the first of several Power Builds he’d read about on the game boards, and other people were coming up with different characters.
I knew that my schedule would require me to miss about a third of the game sessions, so I was looking for a character type that would make it easy for C. to either run it as an NPC or leave it behind. And I was idly flipping through the Savage Species book, and I got to the templates. “Feral”, no. “Gelatinous”, no. And then …
I picked up my phone. “Hello, Michelle? This is Chris. What are you doing on Saturday evenings? Would you like to help me play a two-headed character? Yes of course, it can be a dwarf rogue, sure. All right then.”
And so was born Ernest and Julio. (Mom was a spy, polymorphed behind enemy lines as an Ettin for too long when she was preggers with us.) We were a multi-classed rogue / rogue (I played Ernest, the left head, who wanted to specialize in traps and weaponsmithing. Michelle played Julio, the right head, who wanted to specialize in acrobatics and derring-do.) After a couple of painful incidents, we agreed that Julio would warn Ernest when they were about to tumble.
We were there to provide rogue-support, magic weapons for the party, and wacky comic relief. The entire rest of the party ended up playing straight man, much to C's bemusement.
“Psst. Next Thursday is Julio’s birthday. We’re going to have a surprise party. Don’t let him know.”
“Isn’t it your birthday, too, Ernest?”
“Oh no. My birthday’s in September.”
We took a rank in Disguise. (Which brought our Disguise skill check up to –1.) In one disguise, Julio was the pirate, and Ernest was the parrot. In another, Ernest was the washerwoman, and Julio was the basket of laundry.
At one point, the party had done some good deed for the church of the war god, and the clerics were handing out weapons and such as boons. We were just then taking a level in Barbarian, and asked if we could become an Ettin when enraged. (In-story: E&J asked if we could learn to fight. So we had an interview with the God of War himself, who said, “Oh no! Nothin’ doin’. I’ve been down this road before. Somebody asks for a couple of fighting tips, an’ I show ‘em some col moves, and then they go off and follow the moes I taught ‘em, whether it made sense in the situation or not. ‘Cause “The God of War told us to do this!” And they get beaten, and I look like an idiot. But, I’ll tell you what: I’ll make you hardy and give you a fighting form, and you can go practice and learn stuff on your own.”
Now, the Savage Species rules for multi-headed creatures use language that doesn’t appear very many other places in the rules. In particular, each hand is considered the primary hand for combat. So, once we hit +6 BAB, we had four attacks. We took the “whirling fury” variant on rage, so we got another (pair of) attacks. Haste? Another two attacks. (C. saw that “two-headed” imposes a +2 LA for us, so he was fine with this.)
And so, there was this one round when E&J attacked this big evil-aligned floating heart in the middle of a room, and we had a pair of +1, holy, viscious, flaming weapons, and Power Attack, and we were a raging barbarian Ettin, and, well, we did over 300 hp of damage to the thing in one round.
And the wacky dwarf guys got the attention of the rest of the party, including C’s wife, playing the optimized gnome ranger, and his son, playing the Power Build of the Month. And C’s wife decided at that moment, “Ernest and Julio must die, because they … might end up mind-controlled or something.”
But that’s another story.
I picked up my phone. “Hello, Michelle? This is Chris. What are you doing on Saturday evenings? Would you like to help me play a two-headed character? Yes of course, it can be a dwarf rogue, sure. All right then.”
And so was born Ernest and Julio.
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Ways to go in style:
1.
2. In 2e, a high level party split up on a jungle island after disagreeing how to explore it after seeing a red dragon. The barbarian decided in a show of manliness to bare-hand climb an 800' cliff, and he was joined by a fighter with climbing gear. The fighter arrives first only to have the sadistic red dragon cast a charm person spell. The fighter in jolly style went to hang out with harpies who (after failed saves) enjoyed a fresh meal. The barbarian, unknowing, proudly declared he made it, his hand on the ledge. The red dragon then uttered a "Command" of JUMP. Barbarian fails his save... The final member, a wild mage, decides to cast fly, but to join the absurdity, he surges and polymorphs himself permanently into a giant crocodile. Knowing no one at their beach camp would help a giant crocodile, he slunk into a nearby river and started a new life....
just at that moment one of the players, who has a bad habit of playing music on his laptop during game sessions, started to play the song from The Good, The Bad and The Ugly, it worked brilliantly as my character and the goblin stopped for a round or two to take measure of each other, and then charge, its shortpear vs my quaterstaff in a small sized jousting session of pure win.
That paragraph alone was worth the price of admission. Really, you were fortunate. I'll never forget when I ran the adventure "Lady of the Mists," a ghost story. I tried to invoke the right mood and atmosphere - that is, mysterious and haunting. This proved quite impossible, because my kids were playing in the same room, and kept wanting to play with a toy that was beeping out "Pop Goes the Weasel."
I was running Savage Tide in Eberron...the "cleric" in the party decided that he didn't want to heal the fighter at negative hit points, since it was in his character's concept...the fighter died....
I once had a game disintegrate into helpless laughter to the point where some of us were literally crying and one person nearly passed out because she couldn't catch her breath, she was laughing so hard.
Why?
Someone pointed out the number of feat names that could serve as euphemisms for something sexual. Someone immediately said, "You mean like, Great Fortitude?"
Someone else said, "Or Quick Draw?"
"Spell Penetration?"
"Weapon Finesse?"
"Rapid Shot?"
My stomach hurt for hours afterwards...
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Last night, I was running a heretofore unplayed character through their prologue as a one-shot. It's a d20 modern game, the character is an Aasimar named Jesus Cristo Martinez (Just call me JC, vato) and we're running through a WotC adventure with a train station/public transit stop in it.
After encountering, in this order, an Ogre Magi, a Mind Flayer and finally an Umber Hulk... I look at my Beloved Spouse (Kobold chorus: "We love you!") and ask pointblank "What the h*!! is the APL/ECL for this adventure?"
"Um, I just read the small print... it's for party level 8"
JC survived through some judicious heroics and a bit of creative GM'ing.
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So I read through your story again, and... I'm a little puzzled.
Ah, that's simply actually. The group that these characters were all in was over 11 characters. They'd taken to splitting into 'fire teams', and the incident with T and the burning pitch involved the mentioned group of characters splitting off to do some old fashioned dungeon crawl while the rest were doing other player-charactery stuff.
The entire party was together during the Halfling's death against the Troglodytes and Deanna was under the influence of a Gentle Repose during the encounter causing T's untimely end.
Dren, the Druid responsible for calling in Air Support was a lot closer with T, and thus called her Aunt in. Aunt shows up, couldn't figure out which corpse was Dren's friend (Dren didn't have time to interrupt her to tell her) and thus went buy-one-get-one-free with the Reincarnate.
QED, Deanna dies and is dead for T's death. T drops, Dren calls Auntie and Auntie goes BOGO.
Sorry for the mix-up there. Thanks for listening!
This starts the joke that the pony should not just be a fiendish pony, but a fiendish cinnamon-butter pony that will enter combat with the order of “lie down and be delicious!”Congratulations, you just broke my wife. I was reading this with my back to her. She was drinking coffee. Thankfully she made her save vs 'snort coffee from nose'.
We both laughed so hard, and I'm STILL laughing.
Thank you. Thank you so much.
Klaayr was a thick-as-a-brick Dwarf Fighter, just mustered out of the town Guard. I even had a barrel of ale that I carried everywhere. Used to store my spare weapons in it IIR.
I spotted a rabbit's corpse lying on the ground. I said, "It might be Undead!" I charged it. I fell in a pit trap. The party is attacked by a Behir [IIR]. One of the party drops a knotted rope over the side, I only needed a 5 or better to climb out. I spend the entre fight in the pit rolling 4 or less. The Behir that set the trap spends that time chewing up the rest of the party. Fortunately it was on it's last few HP by the time I get out. We all had a good laugh. (Fortunately the Guard required all members to have some skill in Heal.)
Later our camp is infiltrated by a pair of 3rd level Half-Orc Rogues. Armed with only a dwarven waraxe and my dwarven skivvies I charge... right past the nearest one. (You could almost smell the DM gleefully thinking "Bad move! I can flank this guy with a 5-foot step.") I one-shot the first one (using the Powerful Charge feat that added +1d8 to my damage when I charge) then I one-shot his buddy with the 3.5 Cleave feat. Everyone was boggled.
OK, here's our 'one for the books'.
My hubby is DMing an online D&D game. The group is supposed to prevent Orcus from returning to the world and destroying this part of it. They need gems to re-seal the cage he was imprisoned in. One character is a Gareth, a Paladin. We knew Gareth's player, he lived nearby. Gareth's player, for some reason, took a dislike to one of the other players, Indrigo. IIRC, I think Indry was playing a rogue.
Gareth finally gets to call his warhorse and brings it to the inn to show off. Indry, bouncing up and down excitedly, asks if he can ride the horse. Gareth, rather smugly, says that it's a trained warhose and will savage anyone it isn't familar with.
Indry "Can I get familar with your horse?"
My hubby managed to type "pervert" before gameplay was suspended for about 5 min.
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For a certain Pathfinder Society scenario, my character's faction mission required him to give a scroll to one of the people in a fort the group was going to be in. That person attacked the party before my character had a chance to calm everyone down, and the person was dead before my guy got in the room. Upon entering, and still determined to fulfill my mission: my guy used a CLW Potion to bring him back above 0, gave him the scroll, and re-killed him.
Probably the funnest PA I've gotten :D
I was running AoW, and this was final boss fight for chapter 2. The player(barbarian) charged the monster, but got hit in the process, and went down to below 0. The cleric healed him enough so that he was conscious. The barbarian on his next go decided to pull a potion and drink it.
ME: He is standing directly over you. Are you sure that is what you want to do-->Translation-->I, your friendly DM, am giving you a chance to recant that foolish notion.
player: I will drink it stealthily.
At this point the entire table is struggling not to burst out laughing. I let him pull the potion, and then I smash out him right back into negatives.
In a one-shot, my Wannabe-Legolas half-elf ranger is travelling down a river in a canoe with a barbarian and a cleric. Giant wooden heads, like the tops of ginormous totem poles, break out of the water, 5 or 10 feet above the surface of the river. We get attacked by some archers or something, so I jump off the canoe and on top of one of the wooden heads--except it's hollow like a bowl and I fall into the head!!!!!
Hilarity ensued.
The first story I remember is for one of my first rpg : dark eyes (don't know if I translate accurately), my character was a dwarf 2(ie : dwarf was a class), multiclassed : cleric 1... Don't remember the exact story but a lord pissed me off by cheating us with the reward after a mission for him... So I call my god for a earthquake spell on his castle: I have 1 percent chance that my god hear me and 1 percent chance he agree... I roll 1 two times... :D
Next we were in ravenloft, after some agitated travel we come to see a manor... The DM described it very well, you know this kind of horror manor, standing on a cliff with the wind, the bat and the lightning...
So he went on for five minutes describing the small road going up to the perched manor, really I was in the good "horror mood" then the group wizard or cleric (don't remember) said : "okay... rock to mud on the cliff..."
The vampire lord banned us for having ruined his manor... end of Ravenloft for us... :D
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So back in the 2e days I am a bit burned out and decide to play a Fighter. Now if you remember 2e there were a lot of better choices than Fighter. I also chose a Two-Handed Sword, again not an ideal weapon choice in the system as it did good damage but it’s speed was so slow that you had to roll well to have people not go a second time before you got to go once. Sadly I had one of those scores that screamed Big Dumb Fighter.
Patrick was a bit of a lump, though an entertaining one. He never understood the instructions the other party members would give him. He once forgot to wait for the wizard to take his back pack off before throwing it for him. Big fight going on we’re just a couple of levels into the campaign when the cleric we are fighting casts command “die” on Patrick. He, of course, fails and “dies” for one round. The fight ends before he gets another action so he recovers and stands up, He doesn’t say a word for a while. Finally someone asks him if he is ready to move on. “Ready? Ready? I just died but I didn’t…I’m an immortal! Of course I am ready, let’s go!” Of course he didn’t bother to get healed since he was now invincible (immortality and invincibility being linked in his somewhat addled brain).
It was several levels and months later that he was “knighted” by “The pretty Lady with the thingy on her head”
Ah fond memories…everyone has seen their own version of “Sir Patrick the Immortal” I am sure.
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Stupidist moment however was probably the Halfling Fighter that would be thrown into combat by the paladin. 2e again I think. Might have been 1st. He had a ring of fire resistance and the group would open combat with the paladin chucking the Halfling and the Halfling calling in fireballs from the 2 wizards. He had just a plain old +1 axe but he had a ring of Regeneration (which were much more powerful back in the day) and the ring of fire resistance. Was a great tactic until the room with the illusory floor. What a mean thing to put in your dungeon. Ok the illusory floor wasn’t, but the sphere of annihilation at the bottom, that was just cruel…
This one was amusing. I was running an adventure for a 5th level party. They were fighting unintelligent monsters especially vulnerable to magic, who were in a nice 40' diameter circle. Unfortunately, I didn't realize the party only had a sorcerer, not a mage. (No fireball.) So, a nasty fight ensued where the party almost gets killed.
Back in town, they're selling a few magic items they had gotten earlier in the adventure.
PC1: "So, what do we have?"
PC2: "This Necklace of Missiles."
PC1: "What's it do?"
PC2: "I don't know, I think it casts magic missile."
Me: "It casts Fireball..."
PC1 & PC2: "WHAT?!"
I notice in 3.5 and Pathfinder it's been renamed to Necklace of Fireballs. Back in my day it was called a Necklace of Missiles, and we liked it.
Then there was the time I was playing a Superhero...
A giant hamster escaped from its mad scientist creator. It wouldn't have been so bad except it kept growing. I lured it onto a barge using a stack of newspapers, throwing one over my shoulder for it to shred when it started to lose interest. It was towed out to sea, eventually grew too large, sank the barge and drowned. The newspaper was angry that I had been looting honor boxes until I pointed out that a few bucks was nothing compared to being able to say their paper helped save the city. The real trouble started when PETA got involved . . . and that wasn't funny. Not funny at all.
Can't think of funniest, but one moment that was just awesome was when I was playing Kingmaker and forced this Wyvern that had picked me up, out of it's grapple so that I was the primary grappler and then it was falling to the ground with me on top of it. The round ended with me 10ft off the ground so the ranger fired at it and the Cavalair used his spear to knock it out of the sky.
Funniest death I've ever seen was in the Star Wars RPG. Party had a Jedi who force jumped up a turbolift shaft and left a Human shaped depression in the bottom of a descending turbolift before falling down the shaft to his death.
The incident is now know amongst my group as 'Jumping to Conclusions'.
Okey, just had something really funny happen here in my Curse of the Crimson Throne PBP:
Tapestry plans on visiting every bakery in town so that she can spend 1,000gp commisioning 50,000 loaves of bread (at 2cp a pop) - each with the holy symbol of Calistria baked on the top - to be freely distributed to any who need it. She's not trying to get any personal recognition for this, but isn't trying to hide either - she's just annoyed by what she sees as Jerin's 'money-grubbing' ways, and wants to distance herself from that sort of mentality. On the other hand, when that's done, she'll also buy herself a nice new courtier's outfit (for 30gp), as well as 50gp worth of jewellery to go with it... 'cos sometimes a girl needs to feel pretty! (If distribution of the bread is an issue she'll rope in the orphans they saved and the guys from the temple to give it out to the poor and needy). She'll head back to the tavern afterwards.
Words just fail me...
Don’t think this story’s been told on these forums yet…
My friend is running a homebrew campaign setting where Gnolls, Lizardmen, and Troglodytes are civilized (more or less) races and Halflings, Gnomes, Goblins and Kobolds don’t exist (I think he might have a problem with short people, but I digress).
So anyway, it’s near the beginning of the campaign and our level 4 party consisting of a Lizardman Barbarian (who was watching the cart for this entire fiasco so he doesn’t really play a roll), an Elven Cleric of the god/goddess of goodness, a Human Paladin, a Human Hexblade, and myself playing a Human Warlock are all sneaking into the dungeons of a coliseum to free our Gnoll NPC buddy. Now it should be noted that at this point only the Hexblade and the Barbarian really knew each other (Cleric was new to the group, Paladin’s character had just died and I had just switched characters).
Well, we get down to the dungeons which were easily accessible from the street and are stopped by an elderly Gnoll guard/janitor (he wasn’t armed) who wants to know why we’re down there. Having obscenely high diplomacy I try and talk the old Gnoll into letting us get our friend and go with a very small bribe (spent most of my money in character creation). I botch the roll and the old Gnoll demands that we leave. Having an intimidate score even higher than my diplomacy I decide to go that route, implying that bad things would happen to him if he didn’t cooperate and roll a natural 20. There’s a brief pause from the Gnoll before the throws his hands into the air and runs away from me screaming for help, and here’s where the fun beings.
In response to the old Gnoll running away the Hexblade pulls his daggers and begins chasing down the guard intent on killing him. The Paladin in turn pulls his weapon and chases after the Hexblade intent on stopping him from killing the defenseless old Gnoll. The Cleric and I just both look at each other dumbfounded for our turn. A few rounds later, the Hexblade still hasn’t caught the old Gnoll, and the Paladin still hasn’t caught the Hexblade, and down come some of the actual armed guards. The Cleric and I throw our hands up surrender and proclaim that we don’t even know those a**holes, and while a few of the guards watch us the rest of them join the Benny Hillesqe chase. After a few more rounds of chase the old Gnoll manages to get through a door ahead of the Hexblade, close it, and lock it. The Hexblade stops at the door, the Paladin catches the Hexblade, the guards catch the Paladin, and the whole lot of us are arrested.
We are all kept in separate rooms and called in one at a time by the sheriff to give our statements. The Paladin is called in first, tells his story and is let go because he was trying to save the Old guy. Next is the Cleric who tells his story and gets a light sentence of a couple days behind bars because he didn’t really do anything. Next comes me, and my Warlock is potentially in some trouble because I initially threatened the old Gnoll. However, lucky for me my bluff was as high as my intimidate and with some careful wording I make the Sheriff believe that the old guy merely misunderstood what I had said to him, and that if I truly meant him harm it would have been me chasing him instead of surrendering to the guards without a fight. So, like the Cleric I get a few days in the slammer.
Then comes the Hexblade. The Sheriff asks him why he felt compelled to chase down and murder a defenseless old man. The Hexblade responds that the old Gnoll made a hostile action. The entire table goes quiet for a moment as we stare at the Hexblade with dumbfounded looks on our faces. The DM then responds (as the Sheriff) “You’re saying that you felt threatened by the weaponless old man who threw up his hands a ran away from you while screaming for help?” The Hexblade responds (completely serious) “Yes, where I come from that is a very hostile action.” Again, dumbfounded looks. Well, needless to say that brilliant defense didn’t really work out for the Hexblade, and I believe he remains the only character in our group to be retired due to being sold into slavery.
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Probably my best memory was running Expedition to Undermountain for a relatively inexperienced group. Early on, the party manages to capture one of the goblins on the first level to question. Though they get no particularly useful information out of him, they decided to keep him so they can turn him in at the prison once they get back to town.
Later, the party encounters a bridge leading across a relatively deep (40-50 ft) chasm and the rogue decides to scout ahead. He rolls poorly on his stealth and attracts the attention of some monsters waiting above the bridge. This results in said rogue getting flanked on a bridge as the other party members move out to assist him.
The party's dwarven barbarian gets low initiative so the path to fight the monsters in melee is blocked by the time it gets to her turn. Her first instinct, throw the goblin at the monsters so they will eat him first. She then flings the goblin with all her might and gets a 1 on the attack roll resulting in tossing the goblin approximately 5 feet and into the chasm.
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So the scene is the Temple of Elemental Evil. The party has been in there for a long time, perhaps to long of a time. Paranoia is setting in. The thief (it was 2e after all) has checked the chest for traps, the floor around for traps and disarmed one on the floor and one on the chest. Finally he opens the chest. Inside is a sword wrapped in silk. The wizard tells him it is magical and he reaches in to grab the sword. As he finishes saying he reaches in he gets an odd look on his face but before he squeaks out the words wait I want to check the chest for traps again the DM begins saying, Roll a saving throw! We all look back and forth but the situation is now clear. He didn’t catch himself in time and has to make a save.
Lop! Off goes the Thief’s hand. A long discussion about reattaching his hand is had, but the party is a little to low to have regeneration and we decide that we can explore a little longer before returning to town and getting a regeneration. So we put the hand in a bag of holding. A few hours of play and the thief’s player’s frustration at all the penalties for being short a hand are coming out. Finally we tell him one more room, it is on the way out, and we’ll get out of here. Well that room was inhabited by a Mind Flayer looking for a meal. He grabs the Thief and pops off to another plane to devour the brain. Quickly the party starts cataloguing our abilities and we realize that none of us have the ability to plane shift at all, let alone bring enough party to take out the Mind Flayer and return the character. We can teleport to any location on our plane but not catch the mind flayer. Boom he is declared dead.
We then start checking out what we need to bring back the Thief’s character. A wish for the body, then a resurrection to bring it back, as we are combing the books the Cleric’s character is reading aloud various rules including the line in Resurrection that states, “An amount of the body equivalent in amount to a hand” at which point the thief’s player perks up and another player turns to me and says, “Hey what did we do with his hand when it got lopped off?” “Oh I put it in the bag of holding!!!!” All we had to do then was teleport back to town and get our Thief back…Ahh good times.
P.S. Another friend of mine bought me the perfect button for The Temple of Elemental Evil. It goes like this…”I visited The Temple of Elemental Evil and all I got was DEAD!”
Tied between two:
1- In one game I was in a friend was playing a dwarven fighter. We were passing through a small logging town. He searched the town for hours trying to find an orc prostitute. When we inquired why, it was because: "I get a bonus to HIT THAT!" Spanking the air in front of him. Sure enough he found one and sometime later they were wed.
2- Our paladin was captured by an assassin and ransomed back to the group through our druid who mostly kept to herself and often didn't explain things to the group. Notably, nobody else knew he had been captured and ransomed, she resolved the situation herself. My character, the paladins dim younger brother (int of 6, wis of 8), was just joining the session after being invited to collect the paladin by the druid. When I asked where he had been I was told that he was off: "Doing intensive paladin training via ancient meditative techniques..." We came to a large boulder in the middle of a feild which we had to break open (it had been hallowed out) to find the paladin trapped inside completely striped of gear. The paladin then got into an argument with the druid over the terms of the rescue while they both ignored my sputtering character's inquiries, and the paladin, embarrassed by his capture refused to tell the tale of said event. Sometime later when visiting the local count who asked of our qualifications to handle a well paying job he may be offering I proceeded to tell him of the marvelous powers bestowed onto the paladin by the rite of the naked rock. Luckily the count was amused and we got the the job.
We'd been lurching around town, rousting out corrupt officials. We'd caught one and he told us we should investigate certain a councilman. We found the man in the middle of town, and I wanted to start the conversation off the topic I really wanted to discuss with him.
Now, the town had recently been attacked by a werewolf, so I figured asking him about it would throw him off balance.
Three guesses to the werewolf's identity, and the first two don't count.
"What do you know about the werewolf," has become a catch-phrase for making a random move that short-circuits the adventure.
The party was in a major fight. I was playing a Wizard and running low on hit points. I decided to protect myself by casting invisibility on myself. A bit later an area effect hit my wizard bringing him into negative hit points. He bled to death, because the party could not find him on account of his invisibility. :D
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in a current evil game i'm playing in (3.5), my character is a changeling impersonating the king. one of the other PCs tried to assassinate my character, but failed only because of the my character's impolsiveness, he left the country just before the attempt on his life. even worse he gave the power to the church of Asmodeus, so now the other PC has no way of getting the power she wished for. all that and i didn't even know the PC was plotting against me!
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During an encounter with 3 cockatrices, the cleric/ranger just walks up to one of the nesting birds to take a look... The cockatrice attacks and the dumb cleric/ranger turns to stone. The paladin starts to fight the cockatrices and becomes a nice new feature in a dark dungeon, while the smart dwarven necromancer flees the scene.
In his defense, the paladin did last very long in his fight against the cockatrices.
Oh, right. I was the one who played the Dwarven Necromancer. I'm gonna have to get 2 scrolls of Stone to Flesh so those idiots can join the party again...
First day of Neoncon and my monk having just leveled to 8 was feeling OVERLY confidant!
Traveling by sea on a mighty vessel. I, Cala, was joined by my fellow allies.
Ozwald, Masterful negotiator and prince of the Quadiran empire.
Thorn, The most powerful mage in all of Absalom who summons balls of FIRE in his hands.
A man I am sure you have heard of a great Bar-Bear-ian, Who shortly after this event became know throughout the lands as the man that pinned a Black Dragon, Twice.
And the bravest Monkey I ever had the pleasure to adventure with. You are a fine friend and I hope to join you again for future adventures.
We were also joined by my savior and confidant Oberion. A man to whom I owe my life. If it was not for the sure bite of his infernal Sharks I would not be here today.
And let us not forget fellow pathfinder Jirandiel Waverider who later fell nobly in battle.
While traveling we were accosted by a giant beast of the sea. Though fortunate for us it was only a child of its kind. A great serpent rose up from the depths under our ship and the battle ensued.
Ozwald attempted to climb for a crows nest to aid his targeting and to act as look out for the beast as it would dive and attack from a new side with out warning. Monkey making a leap of grate confidence clung to the back of the beast before later being plunged into the sea and struggling to not drop to the bottom. While Captain Jirandiel tried in vain to pelt the beast with the ships defenses.
Thorn had managed to summon a pair of Crocs and were joined by Oberion's mighty Infernal sharks. I having thrown my magical spears was out of effective ranged attacks and decided to do what only a stupidly overconfident monk could do.....
Leaping upon the back of a crocodile I intended to show this beast the power of my mighty fists face to face........ shortly there after I was in it's great maw. Monkey, Having just been plucked from the sea dove back in despite his hindered swimming ability's in an attempt to free me.
And as I started to slide down the throat of the great beast all went black.....
I was later told it was the Infernal sharks of Asmodeous that saved me. I'm still shocked it is a Chelish to whom I owe my life.
Shadowrun (dystopian future with magic)...
Human Supremacist Riot. Mob of 40 or so spot... Me, and Elf, half a block away.
"Get the dandelion eater!"
Stun Blasts are a low stress alternative to direct damage spells, and they leave the cops someone to haul away (other than you). Seriously, with that incident I single-handedly changed the mage-cops' spell selection.
OTOH, no one ever protected their roof against flying mages. Air born assault vehicles, yes, but not something as small and low-energy as an invisible, flying humanoid.
Or the manipulation spell (that I invented in game) that opened a hole in a wall (or floor) until I let the spell lapse.
Oh, and I can't forget the gun. Laser-sights, optical-link to my helmet, gas-vent stabilizers... everything but the kitchen sink. I even super-glued stuff on it to make it look more intimidating. I never fired it outside the shooting range. I used to turn it over when people wanted to disarm me, and being a mage I didn't really mind.
Once My players were on the search for a Undead Sorcerer working on becoming a Lich, he was a Party member that I controlled and they were trying to uncover why he was doing this. Anyway, they tracked him to a scary cave and one of the other players comments on how scary the cave is so I accidentally reply in character as the Sorcerer and he replied back in character, then after a few seconds it sunk in and everyone in the party stopped and went Wait what?, so I just replied in character Back "What?"
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Undead-heavy campaign; party is a Paladin of a Death goddess, grizzled sole survivor fighter of a town that got eaten by zombies, and cleric of something-or-other. Accompanied by a much lower-level NPC (servant of the paladin's church) we'd taken to calling Babyface, since he was a 7' tall horrifically scarred gladiator who wore a golden cupid's face helm while fighting. To take pressure off the GM the fighter's player is running Babyface while in combat.
Scouting out a ghost city (another zombie attack had laid waste to anything living in it) for an artifact when we run into a zombie giant and two zombie dwarf swarms (for some reason our GM has a thing about throwing tons and tons of zombie dwarves at us, no matter what campaign). Most of the party tries to take out the giant straight off due to the difficulty involved with shutting down swarms, leaving Babyface to do something about the dwarves.
He crits. Three times sequentially. With a barbed net. Taking out both swarms somehow, even with the time it takes to repack his net etc.
Babyface: "Ain't no dwarves gonna gang-rape me."
Campaign ended soon after, for unrelated reasons, but he was our new party mascot/good luck charm until that happened.