I found Wuthering Heights to be a real drag- Heathcliff and Cathy are the archetypical angsty emos and a lot of the book is taken up with Heathcliff acting like a wild-eyed, melodramatic arse. The ending isn't bad, mind.
Runes of the Earth turned out be be decidedly underwhelming and it took an effort to make it all the way through. Decided that was quite enough Thomas Covenant for me and won't be going back.
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Okay. What is the most boring classic and the most boring normal book you've ever read? They may be the same. I'm compiling a list to try and read before the end of high school, and was hoping to get all you're input.
Boring? God forgive me for saying this, but I find the entire Lord of the Rings trilogy utterly unreadable. Keep in mind I've happily crawled through all fifteen hundred pages of Samuel Richardson's _Clarissa_ twice, so I'm no slouch. Tolkien paced his writing with the same sense of inertia that the elderly exhibit during acts of sexual congress.
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Classic - Moby Dick
I never made it very far into it. Just couldn't read it, get into it.
Pop Book - Eragon
It was so derivative that there was absolutely no suspense for me, no joy, nothing. I anticipated almost everything that was going to happen and recognized almost every story/book that was ripped off to write it. I recognize it was written by a kid and as such is not all that bad but I can't understand the thrill so many people got from it.
The Grapes of Wrath. How you can make a bunch of people out of options during the Great Depression boring is beyond me, but Steinbeck pulled it off.
That's funny Scream, because I found Clarrisa to be unbearable and enjoyed Tolkien.
I also read a translation of Dream of the Red Mansion that killed me, too many bloody characters.
I don't have any popular books on this list because I refuse to read crap for pleasure and just don't read them--the above were consumed entirely for the purpose of literature courses while doing my BA in English lit., Chinese lit. minor....
RPG Superstar 2013 Top 32
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Most boring classic: "Great Expectations." Charles Dickins and Miss Havisham can both go straight to hell for their part in this sleeper.
Most boring modern: Stephen King's "Insomnia." Normally, I'm a big King fan, but this one got off to such a long, slow, arduous start that it sucked all the momentum from the story and, when the 'good part' came, you no longer cared, you just wanted the pain to end.
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Bella Sara Charter Superscriber
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Boring? God forgive me for saying this, but I find the entire Lord of the Rings trilogy utterly unreadable. Keep in mind I've happily crawled through all fifteen hundred pages of Samuel Richardson's _Clarissa_ twice, so I'm no slouch. Tolkien paced his writing with the same sense of inertia that the elderly exhibit during acts of sexual congress.
QFT. I read and write contracts and SEC filings for a living and I couldn't make it through the Two Towers.
I think it'd have to be Crime and Punishment.
I'll second that. It was required summer reading in high school and after 200 pages, I figured the "F" on the test was less painful and easier to overcome. It was so bad I never bothered to even find out how it ended.
I think it'd have to be Crime and Punishment.I'll second that. It was required summer reading in high school and after 200 pages, I figured the "F" on the test was less painful and easier to overcome. It was so bad I never bothered to even find out how it ended.
Gah! Heathens! Actually, I have a degree in Russian Language and Literature, and would almost have to agree with you. Except that anything by Tolstoy (fiction, at least) is even worse. I prefer Russian poetry and short stories.
Jane Eyre. It got good, eventually, but the first 100 pages almost killed me.
- Ashavan
Most boring classical piece of literature: anything written by an American novelist in the 19th century/early 20th century. Twain, Steinbeck, here's looking at you. Of Mice and Men comes to mind. Got through English in high school because I can withstand immense amounts of pain. Never get me to interpret a novel, nor should you try to ask me what the writer was trying to say. My answer? He wanted to eat, so he wrote a book and sold it. End of message.
Regular book: Not fond of Modessitt and the Ordermage books. I'd get to the end and feel like there was no buildup, climax, or denoument. I liked Towers of the Sunset, that's it. Also liked the 1st 2 books of the Soprano Sorceress, maybe I like the characters enough to get through them.
And it's OK not to like Tolkien. I've re-read it about once per year for 18 years now, so I think I make up for those of you who can't get through the Two Towers (or even the Fellowship). And even I can't get through a lot of the stuff with Frodo and Sam every year and skip to Aragorn, Merry, or anyone else. The strength of my word got my brother, never one for literature to see the movies each year on opening night. And he loved them. But hey, the movies are a different beast . . . .
William Faulkner's "The Bear."
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Probably Jane Eyre. While many pull out the Russian classics (Crime and punishment, The brothers Karamazov and War and peace are big 'favourites' here), they are just really, really long. Jane Eyre, on the other hand, manages to be both short and painfully tedious. Moby Dick is also dull as hell, as is Finnegan's wake.
Elsewhere, I happily read crap to relax, but I'd rather have a unanasthetised root canal than re-read R.A. Salvatore's Cleric's quintet. Gack!
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As a staunch Americanist and devotee of nineteenth and early twentieth century literature, you guys are killing me. Hawthorne is my favorite writer. I live a few minutes from Melville's grave and visit it to read all the time. We drove to Oxford, Mississippi and got drunk on Faulkner's property once in grad school.
Argh!
Moby Dick for classic
Lord of the Rings for "normal" I've read them don't want to reread them.
Fizz
Unfinished Tales, by Tolkein. The ironic part is, it was so boring, I couldn’t finish it!
Moby Dick is by far the most boring book i've ever attempted to read. I think my book mark is still in my copy 50 pages from the end, but i just couldnt take it anymore.
Hawthorne is my favorite writer.
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO O!
I absolutely HATED Frankenstein. Hated it.
It was written by a girl in her late teens.
'nuff said.
classics: the bible and the quran are awful and incoherent.
Joyce's Ulysses makes more sense and is more relevant.
The Kama Sutra is plodding and dull.
The romance of the three kingdoms has a cast of hundreds of nearly identical generals who change names at a moment's notice and is mostly a propogandistic aggrandisement of the emperor's bloodline with some apotheosising of some powerful political figure thrown in.
Anything by Naguib Mahfouz.
Anything by Gao XingJian. I live in a chinese country and still find it impossible to find anything relevant in his work.
"normal": The Bourne Trilogy. Brooks' Shanarra is like a more drawn out Tolkein by numbers.
And the winner of most spectacularly boring book I have ever read goes to a book by a scottish author called "The Play Ethic: A manifesto for a different way of living." It is about making things fun and engaging to attract people and harness their creativity and is written as a dry polemic with references and defenses. Play and fun written like a doctoral thesis in copyright law.
I find history and science books riveting despite their length and density. Try Europe: A History by Norman Davies for an example of how to make something sparkle and live on the page when others have drowned it in turgid ink.
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Probably Jane Eyre. While many pull out the Russian classics (Crime and punishment, The brothers Karamazov and War and peace are big 'favourites' here), they are just really, really long. Jane Eyre, on the other hand, manages to be both short and painfully tedious. Moby Dick is also dull as hell, as is Finnegan's wake.
Elsewhere, I happily read crap to relax, but I'd rather have a unanasthetised root canal than re-read R.A. Salvatore's Cleric's quintet. Gack!
I've read all the books(currently reading The Orc King) but couldnt get even half way through The Clerics Quintet. Told myself for years that i would go back and finish it. -who am i kidding, the Cleric Quintet was horrible. Anyone out there in Paizoland who actually liked it, for i am curious?
Thoth-Amon
but couldnt get even half way through The Clerics Quintet. Told myself for years that i would go back and finish it.
That's downright odd; I had (roughly) the same experience. I read the first two, then set the series aside for about five years. Finally did go back and obtain the rest of them from Ebay and read through it. The series does get better, though the ending is weak.
Love Hawthorne. Love Twain. Love Dikkens.
Love love loved Dracula.
I absolutely HATED Frankenstein. Hated it.
Mostly because it was awful.
I understand this makes me a bad person, but I felt I needed to share.
Have you ever read Twain's criticism of Hawthorne? That really ruined it that deerf!&@er stuff for me. Twain also twigged me to the Shakespeare authorship debate.
Dickens is great, pompous though he may have been.
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but couldnt get even half way through The Clerics Quintet. Told myself for years that i would go back and finish it.That's downright odd; I had (roughly) the same experience. I read the first two, then set the series aside for about five years. Finally did go back and obtain the rest of them from Ebay and read through it. The series does get better, though the ending is weak.
You want odd; I only got through the first two before giving up. I tried to go back, oh how i tried.
Congrats to you for successfully going back and finishing it.
Thoth-Amon
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Classic--George Eliot's Middlemarch. I challenge anyone on this thread to read it and then NOT think of it first when asked what was the most boring book ever.
Modern--I agree with Russ. The DaVinci Code was so horribly transparent that I absolutely had to finish it in an attempt to understand what all the hubbub was about. As it turns out, nothing. I felt insulted that the author insinuated the main characters were all brilliant minds, but it took them several minutes to figure out that one of the clues was in English, written backwards. I showed it to the seven year old son of a friend, and the lad knew exactly what it was--and could even read it without the aid of a mirror.
No, I haven't. Can you point out a specific essay I should look for?
I can't pull it off my shelf because my shelf is a tad far.
It wasn't rigorous criticism as much as Twain having a little fun with Hawthorne's plot holes. After reading it I went back to Hawthorne...
Thanks kikai that was Cooper.
LOL
My sincere apologies to Hawthorne.
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Probably Jane Eyre.
Haven't read that, but tried Wuthering Heights. Couldn't finish it, didn't care. Puerile, juvenile nonsense. People popping out of doors at the wrong time and getting upset by what they overhear out of context. Like a French farce, but without the laughs.
"Normal" book? Wheel of Time is up there - didn't even make it out of the first volume.
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My sincere apologies to Hawthorne.
As his appointed representative, apology accepted. But you should be ashamed of yourself for a day or two for confusing Hawthorne with Cooper. That's like confusing anyone who can string a few words into a decent, marginally entertaining sentence with Anne Rice, Porky Z Brite, or Laurell K. Hamilton. :)
Yah, there's no excuse. I didn't take very much American lit. though, and there are a lot of books to read out there. I spent most of my time working in British lit. I do know the difference between the two though, scream, but the distinction faded due no doubt to some kind of neural misfire.
The upshot of this is that, corrected, I will now read Hawthorne.
It's a bit embarrasing because he's supposed to be so edgy and dark and interesting, but I've never gotten through any Kafka. Pure sleepytime for me.
With genre fiction, I tried and tried to read the Dragonlance novels but never could.
El Skootro
Anything by Jane Austen or Emily Bronte puts me to sleep within seconds, with Wuthering Heights being the worst offender. Social etiquette and marriage arrangements are probably at the bottom of my list of Human Knowledge To Be Acquired.
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My sincere apologies to Hawthorne.As his appointed representative, apology accepted. But you should be ashamed of yourself for a day or two for confusing Hawthorne with Cooper. That's like confusing anyone who can string a few words into a decent, marginally entertaining sentence with Anne Rice, Porky Z Brite, or Laurell K. Hamilton. :)
I'm a little confused here - are you saying that Hawthorne was capable of writing half-decent, semi-entertaining sentences, while Cooper, Rice, Brite or Hamilton are not?
Actually, when I think of it, that makes perfect sense - if any author was ever incapable of writing anything vaguely interesting or entertaining, it must be Ann Rice. She's the Tom Clancy of the fantasy/horror genre.
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I'm a little confused here - are you saying that Hawthorne was capable of writing half-decent, semi-entertaining sentences, while Cooper, Rice, Brite or Hamilton are not?
Actually, when I think of it, that makes perfect sense - if any author was ever incapable of writing anything vaguely interesting or entertaining, it must be Ann Rice. She's the Tom Clancy of the fantasy/horror genre.
Hawthorne- literary god
Cooper- all respect to him for what he did, but reading anything with Natty Bumppo in it is paramount to anesthetizing yourself from the neck up
Rice, Porky, and Hamilton- garbage (it might be entertaining, but it's still garbage) that will be forgotten within ten years of their deaths
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Ah - that clears it up. Thanks - after all, we do not want to be unclear about the literary merits of Ann Rice.
A couple more snoozers - Walden almost put me off US writing. Pompous, useless twaddle. Also, Lovecraft's At the mountains of madness made me want to tear my hair out in frustration. Lovecraft's melodramatic style does not go over well with longer stories. Dull, dull, dull.
Dickens was a great author, but Great Expectations was one of the few books that I never finished reading. Thank God for Monarch Notes! I didn't touch Dickens again for nearly 20 years, but then I found an anecdote of his about "begging letter writers" and realized he can be a riot to read. (He was moved by one man's plea about his dead wife, so he went to visit the unfortunate fellow on a whim. When he discovered the man was a scam artist, Dickens tried to take him to court, with predictably disasterous results.)
I enjoyed Laurell K. Hamilton's "Vampire Noir" Anita Blake series for the first several volumes, but eventually they degraded into a morass of repetetive soft-core porn. I didn't think I could be bored by descriptions of seduction, kinky sex, and vampiric orgies, but she managed to do it.
Elsewhere, I happily read crap to relax, but I'd rather have a unanasthetised root canal than re-read R.A. Salvatore's Cleric's quintet. Gack!I've read all the books(currently reading The Orc King) but couldnt get even half way through The Clerics Quintet. Told myself for years that i would go back and finish it. -who am i kidding, the Cleric Quintet was horrible. Anyone out there in Paizoland who actually liked it, for i am curious?
Thoth-Amon
I liked the Clerics Quintet, glad I bought them all before starting though - reading them all in a long run worked out better.
Classic: First 60 pages of the Silmarillion - fascinating stuff but boring read, particularly the first time through. The rest flows better. Also I *tried* War and Peace - only got 180 pages in.
Pop: Elfstones of Shannara. Absolutely loved Sword of (possibly because I think it was the biggest book I'd read to that point at 729 pages), couldn't get more than halfway through Elfstones... and now my gf got the audiobook for us.
I enjoyed parts of it, but Lord of the Rings was pretty drag ass.
I give the man a lot of props for ambition, but the Wheel of Time series just became unreadable for me after several books. If you need a flow chart to keep all of the second and third tier characters straight, there need to be a few cuts.
Frankenstein was ridiculously boring. The only thing worse was the Kenneth Brannaugh/Robert De Niro film adaptation, complete with homoerotic slime wrestling. Lord knows I never reanimate my corpse amalgamations unless I'm shirtless with leather pants and an open robe and I'm glad that I finally have a movie that validates my preferences.
Catcher In the Rye would have made the list when I was thirteen (because it didn't have a wizard in it) but now I don't think it's that bad.
Director of Sales
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My 2cp...
I just couldn't make it though Dante's Inferno. It's just too far removed from my realm of experience.
I've tried reading Foucault's Pendulum by Umberto Eco several times, and I've never been able to finish. On the first page there were three words I had to look up (and I think I've got a pretty good vocabulary). One of the words wasn't even in my dictionary, and I had to find one of those thick, encyclopedic ones to find the definition. And this was on the first page.
Guns, Germs and Steel by Michael Diamond was very dull, but the subject matter was interesting enough that I was able to power through it and finish. I really enjoyed this book. Diamond's Collapse, on the other hand was more dull with less interesting subject matter. Never finished it.
Finally, Infinite Jest was abysmally dull. There are paragraphs in this book that go on for three pages. One paragraph! With it's 1000+ page count, I just keep the tome around in case I ever need to club an elephant to death.
My 2cp...
Classic snoozer:
I just couldn't make it though Dante's Inferno. It's just too far removed from my realm of experience.
The translation makes a lot of difference for Dante's Inferno, I've noticed.
- Ashavan
My 2cp...
Contemporary somnambulants:
I've tried reading Foucault's Pendulum by Umberto Eco several times, and I've never been able to finish. On the first page there were three words I had to look up (and I think I've got a pretty good vocabulary). One of the words wasn't even in my dictionary, and I had to find one of those thick, encyclopedic ones to find the definition. And this was on the first page.Guns, Germs and Steel by Michael Diamond was very dull, but the subject matter was interesting enough that I was able to power through it and finish. I really enjoyed this book. Diamond's Collapse, on the other hand was more dull with less interesting subject matter. Never finished it.
Finally, Infinite Jest was abysmally dull. There are paragraphs in this book that go on for three pages. One paragraph! With it's 1000+ page count, I just keep the tome around in case I ever need to club an elephant to death.
Loved Foucault's Pendulum and Infinite Jest. Agree with you on Collapse. You're a ninja. I'm a pirate. Yarr.
El Skootro