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I wanted to start a thread of tough talking one liners, not so much battle cries, but what a character says to someone who intimidates or threatens them that doesn't necessarily lead to combat.
Kinda some examples....
-Your mouth is writin' checks that your arse can't cash.
-The last guy who said that to me is lying under dirt now.
-You are only a few stupid words from death.
These are a bit cliche' but I was hoping we could all get a bunch of trash talk that we could use to expand on our out-of-combat encounters. Who hasn't had the barroom trash talk session end with "well, ummm, err, I roll a 15 intimidate check." I would like to have something good (and different) to use in those situations.
Have at it.
FH
Lets see:
"Theres gonna be two hits - me hitting you, you hitting the ground."
"What you think you can do to me, bleed on my shoes?"
"I'll hit you so hard it'll hurt your mother."
"Bring it."
"Draw."
In response to move, get up, get out of the way - "Move me"
"Only two things are stopping you from trying, fear and good sense."
"I've killed better men then you - hardened German soldiers with a taste for violence."
"I s&#@ bigger than you"
"Okay I haven't had any execise today."
"You're not an oppoenent - you're not even a warm up."
"Don't make me do this - I just cleaned my sword."
I wanted to start a thread of tough talking one liners....
FH
So why didn't you? You can't start off a thread about talkin' tough if you're gonna write all squemish-like.
I know what you're thinking. "Did he fire all six charges or only five?" Well, to tell you the truth, in all this excitement I kind of lost track myself. But being as this is a wand of disinteration, and would blow your head clean off, you've got to ask yourself a question: Do I feel lucky?
Well, do ya, punk?
::spaghetti western whistling::
GGG
Wow, these are really good. I've never really browsed these forums before. Think I'll have to start and maybe add my 2 cp.
"I'll lay out out for the Long house (grave), and give red ruin to your carass, nightsoil"
- Connal of Erin
"The name is Thud- like the what me club says- wanna hear him talk"?
- Thud of the LowHills
"Tsk, c'mere and die already"
"I'd wait for some witty repartee, but you'd spoil it with all that blood gargling instead"
- Swordmaster Vvile
"His bloody hatchet's Hack sated many ravens"
-Translated from the Gododdin
Call of Cthulhu game:
PC: "Are you Tewfik?"
Tewfik (bad guy): "What if I am?"
PC's shotgun: **BOOM!!**
(You can't beat a sawed-off shotgun's one-liner) :)
"Fortunatly for you, killing you is not worth the small time and effort that it would take. Unfortunatly for you, I have some spare time on my hands today..."
"If I die then so be it, but I promise I won't die alone"
"I believe in due process of law (draws weapon). So I'll try to leave enough for them to hang!"
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From a Deadlands (old-west/horror) game:
PC gunslinger: You don't change your tone real quick, you'll be able to pour your wiskey into any of six conveniently located holes in your gullet.
Santos (NPC bad guy): You try skinin' that hog-leg and I have blades in your eyes and throat before it clears leather, amigo. Canteena man not have enough sawdust to soak up all that blood.
The best thing is, they were both right and wrong...the PC was a harrowed (undead) and couldn't be taken out (permanantly) with a mundane knife wound and the bad guy was a werewolf and couldn't be taken out (permanantly) with the mundane bullets the PC was loaded with. Luckily the fast talking Huxter (card-mage) defused the situation.
"He started it"
"NO, I started it years ago in a moment of passion and am going to end it that way with God, Brock, and Helper bot as my witnesses if you all don't shut up!"
Kinobi: "Then I will do what I must."
Skywalker: "You will try."
Holiday: "I'm your huckleberry."
Ash: "Come get some."
Hudson: "Oh, you want some!? How about you!? I've got enough for everyone!"
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
(Just a few movie quotes I always liked)
There's a tremendous amount of trash talking and intimidation that goes on in our game, by Players and their PCs and the DM alike. And some of it is PC to PC as well.
I've always found that the best one-liners occur in the context of the situation. In my Age of Worms campaign, I've written and shared a few monologues that great NPC rattled off before dying: Loris Raknian and Theldrick to name a few. Some intimidate without speaking: the mad titan Krathanos simply took off his T-Shirt and the PCs wanted no part of him. Even Lashanna has gotten into the act, and will make the last stirring most intimidating speeches of the entire campaign when they meet her for the final time.
And in the spirit of intimidation in context, I had a character once, a human female warrior in 3.0, that had an amazing night dice rolling - leaving swaths of evil water beasts (Sahugin I think?) in her wake. The King emerges and says he should see her dead at his blade, and she haughtily replies "I'd like to see that."
Another one came in a high level campaign where the evil lich-lord was trying to invade a Keep held by PCs. When agents of the Keep try to intimidate the PCs by telling them that the Keep is theirs, a PC asks "Then why are you on the outside looking in?"
"Bring it on, little girly-man."
Said by the elven druid...as he was shifting into his werewolf hybrid form.
"Thar be two things I treasure in this world - me mug and me axe. And ye just broke me mug."
"Kill me, so that I will surely haunt you and yours till the end of days."
"Now, you may have broken my sword and busted my shield. However, I haven't slept in two days and eaten in three and I'm generally having a bad week. Now, you can hope that I'm going to falter on my next move, but you've got to figure this out first - are you sure that you searched me thoroughly, and just how bad of a mood am I in?"
"We're done here."
From movies/TV series:
"If I have to come back here, I'm bringin' a stun gun and a weed whacker!" - Sheriff Jack Carter, Eureka
"You've got two things, Jack and S#+%. And Jack left town." - Ash, Army of Darkness
I believe it was from the first Baldur's Gate computer game, when your party is confronted by a party of mercenaries sent to kill you. Your character and the party leader exchange quips until you get the option to say: "Haven't you ever heard the expression 'Always kill the mouthy one first'?"
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You need to make a decision right now: How important is it to you to see tomorrow?
It would sadden me to kill you slowly and painfully -- but not as much as it would sadden me if you don't answer me.
For intimidation, though, John Wayne movies are always a good source:
Jacob 'Big Jake' McCandles: And now you understand. Anything goes wrong, anything at all... your fault, my fault, nobody's fault... it won't matter - I'm gonna blow your head off. No matter what else happens, no matter who gets killed I'm gonna blow your head off.
John Bernard Books: I won't be wronged. I won't be insulted. I won't be laid a-hand on. I don't do these things to other people, and I require the same from them.
Rooster Cogburn: I mean to kill you in one minute, Ned. Or see you hanged in Fort Smith at Judge Parker's convenience. Which'll it be?
Col. G. Stonehill: I'll take it up with my attorney.
Mattie Ross: And I will take it up with mine - Lawyer Daggett. And he will make money and I will make money and your lawyer will make money... and you, Mr. Licensed Auctioneer, you will foot the bill.
Another Venture Brothers quote, after Doc had his 'tumor' removed, which then promptly disappeared.
"Well, I want a second opinion. Oh, wait! I'm a doctor! I can give myself one: You suck, and I'm leaving."
"You are gonna get it!"
"True enough. But I aim to make sure you get yours first."
For intimidation, though, John Wayne movies are always a good source.
I came close to killing you when we were younger, Douglas. Saddens me I didn't. - GW McClintock
Clint Eastwood is good as well (Heartbreak Ridge, Unforgiven).
Capt. Malcolm Reynolds: Come a day there won't be room for naughty men like us to slip about at all. This job goes south, there well may not be another. So here is us, on the raggedy edge. Don't push me, and I won't push you.
The Operative: You know, in certain older civilized cultures, when men failed as entirely as you have, they would throw themselves on their swords.
The Operative: I'm a monster. What I do is evil. I have no illusions about it, but it must be done.
Veon Valadon (whom I get to play tonight!) is a Fighter/Urban Ranger whom is particularly arrogant and yet devatstating with his rapier (longbow...halberd)...he's taken out two groups of rogues pretty much single handedly. (the first time he impaled the first guy, the others stopped, dead in their tracks and succumbed to the diplomacy of the rest of the party, the second time, he used alchemist's fire to soften up the 4-6 rogues, mostly the 3 in front of him, and then dispatched, without armor, everyone since they remained standing, though the first 3 had to put out the flames first.)
"I am Veon Valadon! You Gamble with your lives!" (used in the first roguish encounter- coupled with an intimidation roll)
"My name is Veon Valadon, This (produces a bottle) is my bottle of Alchemists Fire, if you plan on taking it from me, then try and take it!" (they throw daggers, he tosses it) (in response to the request of handing over valuables- this also begs for the retort- "You ask for my valuables, you shall be deprived of the value of your very lives!" <keeping in mind that he'd of already said something to the effect of "I am Veon Valadon, you are a pack of fools." (He did however also mention in that exchange, "I have nothing of value, so why waste your lives?" I also, in retrospect, would have used the one liner- similar to the previous, "This, is my Alchemist's Fire, if you plan on taking it from me, I plan on giving it to you." (I'm not sure if I tried using intimidation, diplomacy, or neither)
This encounter ended after I chased down the leader who was fleeing, "You really should take a lesson from this, and tell your master, don't mug people who are armed or who are Veon Valadon." (I wish I had said exactly that, but it sums it up.)
"But I don't have a master..."
"Then perhaps you would have been taught better! And you'd have someone to go warn about the likes of me."
"I am Veon Valadon! Welcome to your Death!" (unused, so feel free to steal, minus the name I suppose)
He's also complimented the sword play of oppoents, of course that encounter ended in a draw/withrdrawal.
He also added an intimidation roll to his halberd charge, but even without adding his +2 to hit and +2 to damage against Humans, he still cleaved a guy in half, thus intimidating the rest of the crossbowmen into a full on retreat. and I think all he said was "Hyah!"
But other one liners...
See the "Most Clever Use of..." thread, I forget who, but someone had a new player who simply said "Not Enough" in response to a job offer, though it was accentuated with a HIGH intimidation check, I think a natural 20, and a greataxe to the floor.
"Let's see what you can do when you shut your mouth and draw your sword." (probably a good response to Veon...the arrogant "french" nobleman elf.)
I plan on using this one:
(Cleric, throws down his armor, puts up his dukes and says to a monk. Naturally he's level 8, has a monk's belt and enough buff spells to turn the PC monk into burger meat, well, if he wasn't a ghost anyway.) "You were taught to use those fists, let's see if you learned a damn thing." (non-lethal damage still, but it'll be fun to run this encounter, if it happens.)
And, Gotta go with the Classics, repetitive mind destroying technique:
"My name is Indigo Montoya, you killed my Father, Prepare to Die."
"You wanna dance? Let's Dance!"
I'm going to have to watch my supply of Clint Eastwood Movies now...(mostly Dirty Harry, the "did he fire six shots or five?...do you feel lucky punk?" line is my favorite of all intimidating lines. Though I do have Good the Bad and the Ugly)
"You are gonna get it!"
"True enough. But I aim to make sure you get yours first."For intimidation, though, John Wayne movies are always a good source.I came close to killing you when we were younger, Douglas. Saddens me I didn't. - GW McClintock
Clint Eastwood is good as well (Heartbreak Ridge, Unforgiven).
Capt. Malcolm Reynolds: Come a day there won't be room for naughty men like us to slip about at all. This job goes south, there well may not be another. So here is us, on the raggedy edge. Don't push me, and I won't push you.
The Operative: You know, in certain older civilized cultures, when men failed as entirely as you have, they would throw themselves on their swords.
The Operative: I'm a monster. What I do is evil. I have no illusions about it, but it must be done.
"It seems you wish to be turned into a toad."--Iqbal Shams al-Din, transmuter (my last PC)
Any good one liners for mages, or is it just fighters and barbarians that talk trash?
Director of Narrative
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"If you hold back anything, I'll kill ya. If you bend the truth or I think your bending the truth, I'll kill ya. If you forget anything I'll kill ya. In fact, you're gonna have to work very hard to stay alive, Nick. Now do you understand everything I've said? Because if you don't, I'll kill ya."
- Rory Braker in Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels.
"I aim to misbehave."
-Firefly/Serenity
"Whoever said that there are fates worse than death hasn't fought me."
-me
my 2cp: (many of these are 1980s conan comic inspired)
your gods won't help you, but a yard of honed steel might
'tis a time for reckoning: here are your consequences
you hurt me boy, I like that
I've suffered worse wounds than this making love
I'll die someday scum, and when I do I'll have a blade in my hand and a curse on my lips
you'll remember Grimslade and know fear
a blade and time to use it are all I ask
you craven bucket of troll-bait
you arrogant whelp of a she-dog
you swing that sword like an ape
keep your tongue silent, cur, or I'll tie it in a knot
I'll slit your belly and leave you for the worms, scum
one more word and I'll tear your tongue from your mouth
you weren't born, you were vomited
I should rip your spine out, if I could find it
Firefly had the best characters, stories, and scripts on TV, bar none! :)
Capt. Malcolm Reynolds: Come a day there won't be room for naughty men like us to slip about at all. This job goes south, there well may not be another. So here is us, on the raggedy edge. Don't push me, and I won't push you.
The Operative: You know, in certain older civilized cultures, when men failed as entirely as you have, they would throw themselves on their swords.
The Operative: I'm a monster. What I do is evil. I have no illusions about it, but it must be done.
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And, Gotta go with the Classics, repetitive mind destroying technique:
"My name is Indigo Montoya, you killed my Father, Prepare to Die."
The nice thing about this one is its broad applicability:
"My name is Hamlet; you killed my father; prepare to die!"
"My name is Jason Cullinane; you killed my father; prepare to die!"
"My name is Roger Ramius Sergei Chiang McClintock; you killed my father; prepare to die!"
"My name is Luke Skywalker; you are my father; prepare to die!"
"My name is Oedipus Rex; I killed my father; oopsie!"
A Don-Quixote-like Halfling knight who was a PC in a campaign I DM'd would always scream "TASTE THE POWER OF THE ARISTOCRACY!" as he delivered the killing blow.
Man that cracked me up.
'Nother good Clint Eastwood movie is Pale Rider. Love it, along with Heartbreak Ridge.
"You tell 'em I'm comin'! And hell's comin' with me!" - Wyatt Earp
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I liked in Fistful of Dollars (I think) when Clint Eastwood rides into town, and the old coffin maker comes out and immediately starts measuring him for a coffin.
Fistful of Dollars is, of course, a remake of Akira Kurosawa's Yojimbo. From that film:
Sanjuro: You're all tough, then?
Gambler: What? Kill me if you can!
Sanjuro: It'll hurt.
Toshiro Mifune (who plays Sanjuro) is almost as good a source of quotes as John Wayne.
Ah, yes, Toshiro Mifune! So cool in Seven Samurai. Kurosawa was awesome, may-he-rest-in-peace. Samurai 7 (the anime) is very neat as well.
A few faves from my Half-orc Living Greyhawk character, Thokk:
"Thokk knows how to fix this. Attack!"
"Questions after fighting."
"You want Thokk's head? Come and get it."
"In orcish, the words for 'child' and 'shield' are the same."
zealous cultist: We serve the dread master --------
anti-hero: Your master's got nothing on me.
Even a dog's got enough sense to tuck its tail and hide, guess you ain't that bright
anti-hero: I advise you to shut up before you make the worst mistake of your life.
enemy: Who do you think you are?
anti-hero: You just made it.
I could run across this room and rip the beating heart from your chest, but then I be no better than you, ah what the hell.
I usually don't make it a case to kill someone over a minor slight, with you I'm willing to make an exception.
You've got two good legs under you, for now.
If I had a face that ugly I'd be looking to die too.
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"If you hold back anything, I'll kill ya. If you bend the truth or I think your bending the truth, I'll kill ya. If you forget anything I'll kill ya. In fact, you're gonna have to work very hard to stay alive, Nick. Now do you understand everything I've said? Because if you don't, I'll kill ya."
"Any a you guys call me Francis, and I'll kill ya." Francis from the move Stripes.
"Touch that gun and I'll kill ya." John Wayne from Tall in the Saddle.
I've come here to do two things - chew bubblegum and kick-ass
and I am all out of bubble gum.
from "They Live"
We come back to Clint Eastwood a lot -- this time from Unforgiven:
Bill Munny: "That's right. I've killed women and children. I've killed just about everything that walks or crawls at one time or another. And I'm here to kill you Little Bill..."
Bill Munny: "Any men don't wanna get killed better clear on out the back."
Little Bill Daggett: "I'll see you in hell, William Munny."
Bill Munny: "Yeah." (shoots Little Bill)
Honestly do you think I've not heard groveling before?
I always wondered what a martyr looked like
There is no mercy to be had here
If you haven't made peace with your god, talk it out when you arrive
I may not be a djinni, but I'll be happy to oblige your deathwish
If you insist on annoying me, I will insist on stabbing you
You can run or you can fight, just know this day you die
Pray there is "only" a heaven
Hope you got your sh@# in order, its judgement day
I just killed 20 guys that looked just like you, you better have a lot more to bring
Bleed on my boots and I'll kill you again
There must be at least two reasons to spare your life, fight now I can't think of one
You can die now or we can wait ten seconds
There are a million ways to die, pick one
Not exactly a one-liner, and not exactly first person, Christopher Walken says of Denzel Washington's body-gaurd character in 'Man On Fire' (and I paraphrase), "Killing is like an art to this guy....and he's about to paint his masterpiece."
"Let's be bad guys!" -- Jayne Cobb
Transformers, the Movie:
Megatron to autobot, "Such heroic nonsense!"
Megatron to autobot, "Why throw away your life so recklessly?!"
Robin Hood Prince of Thieves: (approximate)
Sheriff to flunkie: When I kill you, I'm gonna use a spoon."
Flunkie, "A spoon?"
Sheriff, "Yes, Cause it'll hurt more."
Cheers