Hi Aubrey.
Note: better late than never eh?
Be safe all.
Hmm...Well, I can honestly say there has never been a time in my life where I've been in a relationship and NOT gamed. It's an alien concept to me. However, there seems to be two issues here: one, a non-gamer who doesn't know you game, and two, getting a non-gamer to play with you.
For situation one, be honest about it and don't hide it. Dishonesty is one of my top turn-offs. If you're hiding it, to me, that means you're ashamed of it. Now, I don't mean to tell that going off the deep end and setting up shrine to Gygax and Arneson or Tolkien is the way to express your love of the Game (*quickly hides her shrine*), but don't shuffle your feet and mumble, "yeah, I play D&D."
For situation two, I direct you to the Elevator Pitches topic on the Treasure Tables wiki. I usually pitch RPGs to non-gamers as an improv play. You, the player, are playing the part of your character. Your character's abilities are described on the character sheet. The GM/DM is the stage manager/director. S/he presents the story outline and the other actors not played by a player. It is up to you to control your character's responses and actions. It's long been a rule in every RPG I've played in that all veteran players are expected to assist new players, whether it's with the mechanics or with playing the character.
As f2k has said on other threads, you get more bang for your buck out of RPGs than you do other forms of entertainment. It's a social activity, you get to express your creativity, and it's a hella lotta fun (when it's done right, o'course).
If she still doesn't go for the whole gaming thing, well, that's her choice. You can have your night with the "boys" and she can have her night with the girls. If she wants you to stop gaming (for whatever reason), run the f@$~ away. Don't let anybody try to mold you into something you're not.
I'm fortunate enough that my other half is a gamer too (and probably has a hidden shrine to Siembieda somewhere) and these details have gotten worked out. We have His Time, My Time, and Our Time. His Time is for doing stuff that he likes to do. My Time is the same - usually we have My Time and His Time at the same time, but in different areas of the house.
In conclusion, ladies and jellyspoons, be honest and don't be afraid to say that you're a gamer. Hiding things, even what may be the smallest things, is not the way to have a relationship.
Oh, and the reasons a lot of chicks like the Lord of the Rings movies - it's 'cause Viggo Mortenson is HAWT.
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Maybe we need Gamers Anonymous.
"Hi, my name is Aubrey, and I, er, am addicted to D&D." Claps all round.
I think for those of us who are older, there isn't really that much pressure to fit in so we don't care. i think if you are younger, peer pressure makes us want to look "cool", not "geeky". So it maybe isn't as easy as that, at first glance. Actually, it is as easy as that, but you need to get your confidence to realise.
Hi Aubrey.
this sound like a good place to find some players anyone want to game?
Try to use something she can identify with; like a movie or video game where she builds and decides the actions of the character and the gm sets the narration, scene and other factors; other players build and decide actions of other characters and each person has special skills. The whole game is about story and development; just like a movie or video game; but you are not contrained by what a director whats you to do or some video game mechanic where you cannot climb or tear down that wall.
that and eat and drink lots of snacks; make jokes, and poke fun intermixed with rolling various color and sized dice. Defiantely warn her about having to listen to the same players tell their character stories over and over and over and over and, well you get it; this was my wifes worst part.
The 'single gamer' stereotype is way overplayed. Granted, I'm only 22 but I've never met anyone whose relationship terminations ever resulted even indirectly from gaming. It's just a hobby after all right? In fact, I've never met a gamer that didn't/couldn't easily get a significant other. My best college buddy was a regular gamer and the most charismatic guy in the entire school and had women practically throwing themselves at him. My point is, though I've always hated these words, 'there's nothing to fear but fear itself.'
A little off topic I know, but it's late and I'm tired.
Oh, I've met PLANTY of gamers who couldn't get a significant other. I love our hobby, but some of our fellow fans are a bit lacking in the social department. (And lets not discuss hygeine.)
But, that being said, I have brought all of my previous gfs to games with me. Its a great chance to get to explore different sides of your personalities while still in a safe environment. If she's kinda quiet, you may find she really opens up as Xema- Barbarian Valkyrie or as KIf- the Elven Rogue, or whatever. Just like with the rest of us, its escapism.
Chances are, if you are in any sort of relationship that has any chance of surviving, you have some things in common, probably fantasy, sci-fi, and reading. I always tell people that RPGs are like a good book or movie, where the players are the main characters and the GM is the director and/or author.
"Have you ever read a book where you kept wishing the main character would do something they werent?"
-Yes-
"Well, RPGs are like that, except that you can TRY to do anything. You won't always succeed, but you can try anything logical."
or whatnot.
All of my past gfs have enjoyed RPGs, even when I was the GM and they couldn't canoodle with my character in game. (Actually, as a GM, I make couples sit with at least one other gamer separating them, after the broken futon incident, its best not to let couples fool around/ cuddle/ fight/ kiss/ whatever during a game....)
My present GF and I (going on 10 years together) MET through an RPG. (She was a GM looking for players, she came to agame I was playing in, we both hated the GM- as did all the other players- so after that game dissolved, we hooked up.) She's still more of a boardgame and RPG fan, though she has a decent Warhammer Tyrannid army and even plays some tabletop strategy stuff as well.
Basically, as long as she's not a complete head case or damaged goods, you can probably make some of your RPG time into time you also spend with her, especially if she gets along with your friends.
And her precense may even help to involve other girls in the group. At one time, we had an 8 person game that was 1/2 female, and it was some of the best Role Playing we ever had.
(Of course, the potential turf wars involved with multiple female groups is another topic entirely, but that game went well.)
In other words, introduce her to the game, get her to play. IF its that important to you, she should at least try to understand it. If shes not willing to let you game or is so uptight that she wont even listen to you about it, dump her and move on. If your're a gamer, you're too open minded and creative to be stuck with someone as small minded as that.
Tell her it's poker night. You're just in it for the sex and you're not going to end up marrying a slutty one anyway (if you do, Pelor help you) so that'll shut her up, answer her questions and who cares whatelse.
That's what I do, it works.
... but ...
If you do stick around with a lady for awhile, and you forsee this, it may back-fire on you.
Look for red-flags like:
"OMYGAWD, those Star Wars guys are sooo stupid!"
and
"No, I don't read books."
I've been around, the above quotes I have heard and they lead to them not liking and understanding what you do.
Director of Narrative
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I too am a D&D player.
(nods and nervously wrings his thin, pale hands to the low, fleshy clapping)
Although I realize the OP has, since my reading of this, resolved himself of his predicament, I still felt this thread was leaning more into the specific generics of telling people who don't know anything about the game besides the stereo-types, which are old in themselves, what we gamers are all about.
To people who show interest, whether strangers or long time friends who are aware of my hobby, and ask I describe it as writing a movie where the actors can ab-lib every scene and you, as a director, have to keep up and not break the continuity of the storyline. Also I have described writing adventures/campaigns to people who have never had any experience with the game or RPGs at all, as writing a fantasy short story/novel where more than half is technical writing/programming.
As a general idea table-top gaming is seen as a strange hobby only because it uses math and creativity. Things most people don't have the inclination nor patience to develop the love. We're a fringe group boys and girls - get used to it and get on with your lives.
"No, I don't read books."
There's a great aside from Henry Rollins on one of his spoken word albums about the red flag that comes up when women he takes out on dates say they don't read.
"So...what are you reading right now?"
"Well, I'm not much of a reader..."
(Car comes screeching to a halt.)
"Well, I'm not much of a dinner buyer GET THE F*&% OUT OF MY CAR!!"
A bit severe, but it works! It's a jungle out there!
I never had to tell mine- she and I first talked when my friend's wife brought her to the FLGS I used to own. It was on the table right away. She actually first met me while I played in a game.
I tell everyone I know. All of my friends, co-workers and fellow students, even those who don't knwo what and RPG is, know I play. I would never keep it a secret. Its part of who I am.
If I did get stuck having to tell someone who never knew after a long time, I'd just out and out say it. Explain it, and defend it.
"No, I don't read books."There's a great aside from Henry Rollins on one of his spoken word albums about the red flag that comes up when women he takes out on dates say they don't read.
"So...what are you reading right now?"
"Well, I'm not much of a reader..."
(Car comes screeching to a halt.)
"Well, I'm not much of a dinner buyer GET THE F*&% OUT OF MY CAR!!"A bit severe, but it works! It's a jungle out there!
ROFLMAO....oh, that reminds me of someone I went out with ONCE....I didn't make her get out of the car, but during dinner I just wanted her to shut up and quit talking about pop culture bullshit. I went to the bathroom, pretended that I got a page from work, and took her home.
Well, my ex wife basically joined my group, expected special treatment, made up a cleric so everyone in the party would be beholden to her, and generally destroyed by old group from the inside out.
My current, wonderful wife likes sci fi and loved the Chronicles of Narnia and LOTR, but she won't play D&D because its "my thing." I totally get this, because while you need a lot of things in common, you need some things that are your own as well.
Amen, my wife is very similar. She likes a lot of the things I like, but also has her individuality too. For example, she liked Snakes on a Plane, I hated that movie. I play D&D, she won't even go there. We both like to go out and do things together and enjoy each others company without the kids for an hour (if we are lucky).
Never change who you are to please someone else, only change to please yourself.
but she's really hot and kinda slutty im pretty sure i've seen all the porn there is to be seen on the net!!=)
Well if she is slutty I guess it is easier to explain the porn than the gaming.
You need to tell her "I play D&D when I'm out with the guys." and inject as much pride into that statement as possible.
FH
That's the way to go about it. If she likes you then it really is not going to matter.
Hey if your gettin laid then I would guess she already likes you. Unless she is a slut, then if she has a issue with D&D let her go. Sluts come and sluts go, so eventually that time is going to come whether it's cause you play D&D or forgot to call her one Sunday afternoon.
If she gets curious about it, tell her that it is probably too intense for her, and that she probably couldn't handle it (at least the first couple of times she asks), before letting her join in a session - that way she builds up some desire of her own to see what this game is all about, rather than tagging along because you asked her to!
I've heard this kind of advice before, confidence works.
ENGLAND PREVAILS!!!
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Just tell her.
I always told my Ex, would you rather I play D&D or go to a strip club drink'n with the boys?
You said she's kinda slutty, is she a intellectual nympho? or a stupid slut? if she's the latter, enjoy it while it lasts, but keep your money for gaming, and don't blow it all on her. If she's the former, maybe she'll want to test her wit in a fantastic adventure.
Well all i can say is thankyou Boys and Girls for this great advise!!!
Not that im gonna be needing it on this chick anymore since i havnt heard from her in like 4 days...yeah she found the porn=(
But keep it coming because there must be another guy out there like me that needs it to!!=)
And to come home from work and find this on 70 posts rocks!
Throwing bits of thoughts here...
Let's assume that the girlfriend is a typical non-gamer: Has seen LotR movies and thought they were nice but otherwise hasn't read or seen that much of the genre (if she has no contact at all with scifi/fantasy, start with that and see what her reaction is).
Now she might be interested in giving a shot to gaming. Yay!
Even if you are doing a campaign, I still recommend doing a new one-shot...
Player group composition:
Generally I've found it good idea to integrate more than one newbie at the same time, while also having some veterans too.
Get the regulars to play nice. To keep the attention more or less in the game and avoid using jargon. Outside possible issues with personal hygiene, this is the most annoying gamer trait for non-gamers, so leave those stories about the bladesinger with negative THAC0 who did Bigby's Mighty Wedgie to a tarrasque for future sessions. If the term/acronym is in the character sheet, it is fair game, otherwise try to avoid it.
Oh, and try to get someone else to DM. There are couples who can manage the DM-player division but I wouldn't recommend it for the beginners...
Characters: I don't recommend that all-18s approach...we are hoping that she will feel challenged enough to come to the next session too.
Relatively normal characters work usually the best, they are easiest to get into. Because of this, sometimes games like Call of Cthulhu might be better way to introduce new gamers...
The best thing about newbies is that they have fun playing even not-particularly-deep fantasy cliches (and often especially those). So go ahead and get her to play Arianna, level 1 NG fighter with longsword and chain shirt. Arianna is fun character, after all, even if we jaded oldbies rarely notice that...rangers and rogues are usually good starting characters too, while druids, monks and sorcerers can be a bit too overwhelming...
Adventure:
As said, I recommend a simple one-shot for one afternoon or evening with possibility of continuing if there is interest.
Nobody should die. DM is recommended to cheat when necessary to meet this requirement. "Nobody" includes animal companions and mounts too, btw.
If things get rough, there is always room for an extempore "you see a bit of glimmer in the corner...it's a glass vial with label 'potion of cure light wounds'!".
Good-evil-division is good to be kept clear. We are good, they are evil. Low-level undeads work fine, as do baby-kidnapping goblins. However, it is a good idea to throw in an encounter or two where not fighting is the recommended way of dealing with things, to show that there is more in the game than just rolling for a hit. Leave the moral ambiguity and choosing between two evils for future sessions.
Ok, now it is possible that the girlfriend liked it and wants to keep gaming. Mission accomplished!
It is also possible that she didn't particularly care for RPGs but might be interested in occasionally joining to an evening of board- and cardgames. Fun option too.
It is also possible that she didn't care about it at all. Well, couples do have two individuals with their own interests and at least now she knows what it is about.
It is also possible that she absolutely hated it and your gaming friends and wants you to cut ties with them. Well, at least the cat is out of the bag now.
to sum things up: http://www.grafika.cytadela.pl/articles/446b.jpg
dice and chix do match :)
That reminds me of something my other half told me. He got set up with a blind date, his friend's sister or something like that. While waiting for them to show up, he was reading a little Shakespeare.
Woman shows up. She says "Shakespeare? What's that?"
My other half looks at his friend. "I love ya man, but I gots to go."
The pager thing is a good idea, f2k - I'm pretty sure my other half could have used it way back when. :P
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That reminds me of something my other half told me. He got set up with a blind date, his friend's sister or something like that. While waiting for them to show up, he was reading a little Shakespeare.
Woman shows up. She says "Shakespeare? What's that?"
My other half looks at his friend. "I love ya man, but I gots to go."
The pager thing is a good idea, f2k - I'm pretty sure my other half could have used it way back when. :P
That's when you tell her you're going to invent a love play in her honor. And call it "Romeo and Juliet."
My fiance already knew I played D&D before we started going out with each other. I have always been vocal about it and I never hide that fact. My D&D books, sheets, magazines have always been in the open and she met my friends and playing buddies before hand so she knows they aren't sociopath or dumb-asses.
She doesn't feel like trying or playing, but she understands that we like to play.
She finds that D&D is a better hobby than, drinking, going to strip-clubs or playing dumb video games for hours anyway...
Bottom line don't hide it...it makes it seem like a bad thing. Besides those books are full of nice art pieces...she might like it after all ;-)
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edit...
My fiance doesn't play nor does she wish to play...but she does want to help me in preparing my games...I make her roll all random encounters/treasure. She absolutely loves the comics in Dragon and Dungeon and finds the mouse of "Sage's advice" totaly cute...
well my fiance is one of the most dedicated players in my game. I also know my game is not the norm in that I have more female players in the game than male. I did have to break a friend of mine into the idea of D&D when I hooked her and another friend up. I let her know that he played it, and I played it aswell and its actually how I met him. Using the "many people play it, here's some youve met" thing works too. Make sure to leave off the freaks though. ;)
I agree with all the others that you should never be ashamed of D&D, with your girlfriend/boyfriend or anyone else. (I occasionally feel embarrassed when I tell people about my job, but it's only because it seems gauche to brag about it. :P)
I should also point out that several of the most attractive people I know (and we're talking quality catches here - doctors, robotics engineers, teachers, actors, musicians, politicians, etc.) all game on a regular basis. The Savage Tide game I'm running right now, in fact, has all of those, plus a genetic engineer, a game designer (non-Paizoite), and a software engineer... all from a variety of faiths, countries, and lifestyles, but universally brilliant and smokin', smokin' hot. So keep holdin' out for quality, people, and as folks already said - don't be afraid to wave the banner. The quickest way we'll lose the stigma about gaming is to show nonbelievers a pretty face and let them know that if they wanna roll with you, they need to roll with you, knowhat'msayin'?
The quickest way we'll lose the stigma about gaming is to show nonbelievers a pretty face and let them know that if they wanna roll with you, they need to roll with you, knowhat'msayin'?
Preach it! :D
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The Savage Tide game I'm running right now, in fact, has all of those, plus a genetic engineer, a game designer (non-Paizoite), and a software engineer... all from a variety of faiths, countries, and lifestyles, but universally brilliant and smokin', smokin' hot.
I refuse to belive you unless you post pics! ;)
So keep holdin' out for quality, people, and as folks already said - don't be afraid to wave the banner. The quickest way we'll lose the stigma about gaming is to show nonbelievers a pretty face and let them know that if they wanna roll with you, they need to roll with you, knowhat'msayin'?
When I was writing a screenplay about a rather unique LARP, a non-gamer filmmaker friend told me to describe and cast the participants as being very attractive and/or cool.
"I was going to," I said. "But why do you say?"
"Start with glamour. That's how you get people to check out a scene. Start with the beautiful people and let the real scene work its way down from there."
Regrettably this way of thinking has caused most vampires on TV and in the movies to look like Calvin Klein models, which ruined vampires once and for all as far as I'm concerned. But his point was valid.
When people have respect for you, your intelligence, and your f-ability they're far more likely to, if not want to play or lay right alongside you, at least edit their stereotypes. Of course the stereotypes are based on people that exist, so you've got competition in the battle of public perspective. Not that we should try so hard and worry what other people think. It's just so annoying how some can pigeon-hole you based on the book you're holding in your hand.
It's the same for vegetarians. Every show makes the same joke. If you dare do something so threatening to the general public as make a personal dietary decision that goes against the norm, it becomes fair enough to portray the entire group as sandal wearing hippies playing acoustic guitar. Many commercials state that burgervores are real people or that tofu chompers need to regain their manhood. Anyone wanna see my vegetarian manhood? It's so big it's got a knee.
Okay, so maybe I am a somewhat unreal acoustic guitar playing vegetarian, but I still don't fit the accepted stereotype and people seem to respect me enough to at least ask me why I've made the decisions I have and carefully regard my answer. But uh... come to think of it... I waaaaaaaas born in San Rafael, Ca... home of the Grateful Dead. Wow. I just might be a racial paragon (Unearthed Arcana) of vegetarians.
Oh dont get me wrong - i mean the good slutty!
The kind of slutty that if i asked nice she might put on a cute 2-piece chain mail suit and let me be the DM....i ya know what im saying!?(wink,wink)
But i know what ya mean when chicks get bored in the battles, my mates misses that plays zones out as soon as the fights go longer than 10mins but get he in the roleplaying part when she has to use her "chicky charm" to get somthing we need.......
Preach it! :D
Hallelujah!
I refuse to belive you unless you post pics! ;)
TTIWWP is, of course, the only proper response to such a claim, but I'm not sure how all my gamer homeboys and homegirls would feel about me posting their pics on here. Besides, like I said before... it's not polite to brag. :)
It's the same for vegetarians. Every show makes the same joke. If you dare do something so threatening to the general public as make a personal dietary decision that goes against the norm, it becomes fair enough to portray the entire group as sandal wearing hippies playing acoustic guitar.
I feel your pain, Jadester... I'm an ELECTRIC-guitar playing vegetarian hippie. I'm all for intentional community, environmentalism, etc... but you gotta respect the metal!
I feel your pain, Jadester... I'm an ELECTRIC-guitar playing vegetarian hippie. I'm all for intentional community, environmentalism, etc... but you gotta respect the metal!
Then you just might like what I'm working on now. It's hard rock (not hair band hard rock), more than metal, but I'm so very amazing. When it's slick and ready I'll send a copy for your review.
How's your own music coming?
TTIWWP? WTH is that? God I hate internet jargon... :P
TTIWWP? WTH is that? God I hate internet jargon... :P
This Thread Is Worthless Without Pics
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I feel your pain, Jadester... I'm an ELECTRIC-guitar playing vegetarian hippie. I'm all for intentional community, environmentalism, etc... but you gotta respect the metal!Then you just might like what I'm working on now. It's hard rock (not hair band hard rock), more than metal, but I'm so very amazing. When it's slick and ready I'll send a copy for your review.
Sounds interesting! Do you guys have a website?
TTIWWP? WTH is that? God I hate internet jargon... :PNo kidding, Saern. Anybody got a site that has a "cheat sheet" with all this stupid jargon on it so I don't feel like I'm 95?
Behold - a site for you!
Alternatively, google the acronym in question, and add "acronym" afterwards, so the search term is "TTIWP acronym".
Then you just might like what I'm working on now. It's hard rock (not hair band hard rock), more than metal, but I'm so very amazing. When it's slick and ready I'll send a copy for your review.
How's your own music coming?
Right on! Mine's comin' along pretty well... my new metalcore band has finalized its lineup and written some pretty brutal tracks, but it'll be a little while before we'll have demos/a website/shows ready to go. That whole "working" thing... holding us down... : P In any case, once we've got stuff online, you can bet it'll find its way onto the messageboards!
Sounds interesting! Do you guys have a website?
Thanks for your interest, Vattnisse.
I had a fan created website but I had to beg for its death because it was made to look like I'd created it. I didn't even know of its existence until it was fully up and running. They just took pics I'd put out there on Bowienet and incorporated them. The site was smothered with posey pics of me and there was a 'Jade's Poetry' button. Poetry is an entirely different, and highly experimental hat, and while playing the part of rock icon often involves projecting scads of almost hateable self love, I just couldn't have people thinking I was giving myself an alien probe with my own head.
My co-producer/bandmate is marshalling forces to launch a site, but until the product is there to buy or steal, I don't see the point of sending up smoke signals.
Hey notice me! Wait! Not yet!
TTIWWP? WTH is that? God I hate internet jargon... :PThis Thread Is Worthless Without Pics
In conversation, it's pronounced "tittiwop."
Behold - a site for you!
Alternatively, google the acronym in question, and add "acronym" afterwards, so the search term is "TTIWP acronym".
Urbandictionary works too. :)
In conversation, it's pronounced "tittiwop."
My favorite pastime.
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TTIWWP? WTH is that? God I hate internet jargon... :PNo kidding, Saern. Anybody got a site that has a "cheat sheet" with all this stupid jargon on it so I don't feel like I'm 95?Behold - a site for you!
Alternatively, google the acronym in question, and add "acronym" afterwards, so the search term is "TTIWP acronym".
You are like Wikipedia Woman.
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Right on! Mine's comin' along pretty well... my new metalcore band has finalized its lineup and written some pretty brutal tracks, but it'll be a little while before we'll have demos/a website/shows ready to go. That whole "working" thing... holding us down... : P In any case, once we've got stuff online, you can bet it'll find its way onto the messageboards!Then you just might like what I'm working on now. It's hard rock (not hair band hard rock), more than metal, but I'm so very amazing. When it's slick and ready I'll send a copy for your review.
How's your own music coming?
Do keep us informed! I could certainly use an excuse to go up to Seattle and see a show...
ROFLMAO....oh, that reminds me of someone I went out with ONCE....I didn't make her get out of the car, but during dinner I just wanted her to shut up and quit talking about pop culture bulls%%%. I went to the bathroom, pretended that I got a page from work, and took her home."No, I don't read books."There's a great aside from Henry Rollins on one of his spoken word albums about the red flag that comes up when women he takes out on dates say they don't read.
"So...what are you reading right now?"
"Well, I'm not much of a reader..."
(Car comes screeching to a halt.)
"Well, I'm not much of a dinner buyer GET THE F*&% OUT OF MY CAR!!"A bit severe, but it works! It's a jungle out there!
Rollins. I have that CD (as I have all his spoken word). Believe him.
On another note and related to F2Ks anecdote:
I was on a date November of 2004. I met my lady at a sushi place, this was to be our 3rd date. She did not know about my gaming and as I liked her very much, I felt it was time to go beyond the "talking and giggling" phase and really get to know each other. Plus, I was about to ask her to my Law Firm's holiday party - sorta' a dress up affair.
I told her about my hobbies which include mountain biking, volunteering for hot-spring clean ups, hiking, cooking, wine and DnD.
"DnD.... ? Ya'mean Dungeons and Dragons?"
I answered, "yes".
I then got a 10 minute tirade on how stupid it is for a 33 year old man to play a game like that. Blahblahblah. Finally I asked if she would settle down fore she was causing a scene. She kept going.
I dropped a $20 bill on the table and walked out on her.
Probably one of the coolest things I ever did.
I have had long meaningful relationships with women who NEVER knew that I gamed. Relationships that lasted years.
How or even why you did that is beyond me. If a Woman even comes to my house she is going to find Dragon and Dungeon magazines on my coffee table. D&D and role playing books on my book shelf, not to mention the miniatures on the book shelf (shades of forty year old virgin and his toys and miniatures on the shelf, damn i'm a dork). I've been playing D&D before I really made out with a girl (kissing girls in a closet in fifth grade don't count). Two things a woman gotta give me time for is surfing and D&D.
In fact, I have had many constructive and wonderful friendships with other people where D&D was never remotely mentioned.
I have relationships and friendships with out D&D being a part of it. But all my lovers and my good friends know I play D&D and surf.
It is possible to have a good, healthy relationship without your hobby coming into play..
True. But hobbies run amok get in the way of relationships. I have a number of x-girl friends because of D&D and surfing. I think those where the issues used to break up, but other factors were diffinetly involved in souring the relationships
In fact surfing has been more of an issue in relationships than gaming.
I think gaming nite is planned, you never know when and where there will be surf.
That leads to the perception of surfers being flaky.
See, what you need is a chick that likes to surf, or is willing to learn how to. :P