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So! I am not an Ace. But my fiance is. Furthermore, she is also aromantic. As this topic is one that has more of a personal impact on my life, I thought I'd share some of my thoughts.
Part of the reasons that Aces tend to be hard to portray in fiction and what not is due to the initial reaction people have. Just the other day, she told a friend about her orientation, and the friend's response was "Oh, you haven't found the right person yet." And that's not the first time. People have such a hard time understanding that a person has no sexual interest that they don't want to believe it, especially if the Ace in question has, understandably, not yet tried sex. In addition, people like to equate sex=feelings. After she pushed back against the right person thing, the friend asked how she could be getting married if she was an Ace.
our situation is more based on being extremely good friends, sharing a great deal of our interests and opinions, caring for each other very strongly, and a desire for companionship and someone to rely and depend on and support
That is an extremely good way to put it. She has no interest in doing anything with me that's sexual, but wants me around for everything else. We're extremely close. We share a lot of opinions. And, frankly, the fact that I'm willing to work with her Ace-ness is extremely appealing to her. However, that's what works for us.
For the layperson who knows nothing about it, an Ace is really just a person who is afraid of sex, or just hasn't met the right person. They'll want it once they try it, or find said right person. It makes it very hard to be heard when you're constantly told that your feelings are incorrect. It's hard to try to tell them how you feel when they tell you instead that you mean something else. After that, you just give up trying to correct them, and try to move on or ignore them.