Goblin Witch

Twitchy Boom Boom's page

663 posts. Alias of Hmm.


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16 people marked this as a favorite.

If you have been brought up to believe that written words steal your soul, just filling out a sign-up sheet can be a harrowing experience!

Hmm


2 people marked this as a favorite.
Aristophanes wrote:
While I have great respect for NWA and Run-DMc, I truly prefer the works of Scott Joplin.

Yup, I was also really hoping that this was going to be a music thread.

However, if we’re going to talk about how much use Rapping vs Ragtime receives in game, so far for me rap is winning. As a goblin, it’s just a more in character way of doing a bard battle!

I’m Twitchy in the place to be
We gobs makin’ Playtest history
Forget Sandpoint where it all went down
Goblin players comin to your town
We’re something you’ve not seen before

Some folks they want to dis us
But bro you better get with us
We’re more than bellies with a bite
Now we got paladins and we smite!
Baby, have you heard we’re core?


17 people marked this as a favorite.

♫ The grar grows wild on the forum tonight
Not a Paizo mod to be seen*
A forum of aggravation
And Sara Marie’s our queen

The crowd is howling with ev’ry preview Paizo’s tried
Couldn't keep it in, it’s a crazy ride
Don't read them now, don't let them see
Another post of negativity
Conceal, don't feel, don't let them know
Well, now they know

Let it go, let it go
Don’t post there anymore
Let it go, let it go
Stop trying to keep a score
I don't care what they're going to say
Let the grar rage on
The posts never bothered me anyway

Let it go, let it go
Don’t post there anymore
Let it go, let it go
Stop trying to keep a score

Let it go (go, go, go go, go go, go go, go, go, go go)
Let it go
Let it go
Let it go

It's funny how some distance makes everything seem small
Edition changes that once enthralled me can’t get to me at all
It's time to see what 2e can do
To test the limits and break through
No right, no wrong, no rules for me
I'm free

Let it go, let it go
I can let those posts go by
Let it go, let it go
You’ll never see a reply
Here gobs stand and here gobs stay
Let the grar rage on

The Playtest’s action economy seems rather sound
But in all these blogs so little content can be found
And one thought comes with all the songs I’ve sassed
I'm never going back, the past is in the past

Let it go
These posts never bothered me anyway
Let it go, let it go
The flame war rages on and on
Let it go, let it go
That perfect gob is gone
Here gobs sing and here they play
Let the grar rage on ♫

____
*With apologies to Sara Marie and her hard-working team. Love you guys!


5 people marked this as a favorite.

Yeah, I love it too!

I’m imagining a bunch of Goblins singing the Oscar’s song, “I love trash!” I was going to filk it, but really, it’s perfect the way it is:

♫ Oh, I love trash!
Anything dirty or dingy or dusty
Anything ragged or rotten or rusty
Yes, I love trash ♫


7 people marked this as a favorite.
PossibleCabbage wrote:

So suppose Goblins got their act together and proposed the following to a city-

- We will provide bins and you put junk in it you don't want.
- At night once a week, we will carry away junk and leave bin.
- We promise we will not hurt anybody, burn anything, or otherwise make a problem because that hurts our continued access to precious junk.

How many Golarion cities say "no" assuming the goblins make a reasonable case that they are not up to anything?

^ That sounds like a character concept to me!

Except promising not to burn anything might be a bit too much!

“Maybe we can have small bonfires? Little ones that won’t hurt anything? Only six to seven feet tall?” Even good goblins like setting things on fire — they just try and be more thoughtful about it.


13 people marked this as a favorite.
GRuzom wrote:
Boost to Charisma ...?! for goblins?!?!

They’ve always been charismatic. Why else would We Be Goblins be such a popular module? They sing, they intimidate, they love to show off.

★ --- ★ --- ★ --- ★

AFTER WE BE GOBLINS

After the battle with Vorka came to an end, Twitchy sat up in the Crow’s Nest of Vorka’s ship with Ronk. She put her head on his shoulder. “We did it, Ronk! We got Vorka, we got loot, we got this awesome pirate ship that doesn’t sail stupid places, but stays right here! But you know what the most important thing we got?”

Ronk scratches his head. “Ummm, we still alive?”

Twitchy hugs him. “Yes, and we gots each other! Forever!”

Nuzzling Twitchy’s face, Ronk mumbles into her ear. “Twitchy wants to keep Ronk?”

Twitchy looks into his eyes, and strokes his monster hat. “Always!”

Darting his face forward Ronk kisses Twitchy quickly. Pulling back he keeps his face inches from hers. “Ronk is keeping you forever!”

“Let’s go! Just the two of us... And Fluffer!”

His eyes widen at the idea of leaving the of leaving. “Where?”

Twitchy leaps on to Fluffer, and raises her voice to the sky.

TWITCHY:
I can show you the swamp
Stinking, dampish, exploded...
Just like all the bombs I loaded
For Vorka’s homicide!

We can travel the sky
Fluffer Buttkins, me and you!
There’s so much we can do
As we kill stuff side by side!

She offers a hand up to Ronk, inviting him to climb up in the saddle with her. Taking a deep breath Ronk throws himself on Fluffer’s behind Twitchy. Fluffer squawks and shakes his wings, but Twitchy pets the vulture's feathered ruff and he settles. Wrapping his arms around Twitchy’s waist, Ronk looks around as Fluffer takes flight. Having never been off the ground without being thrown Ronk’s face quickly contorts from concern at falling to glee at safely flying.

His arms feel nice around her. Leaning into each other they continue in song:

TWITCHY:
A whole new swamp...
Maybe other ecosystems too!
No chief to give us grief
What a relief!
Ronk, why are you screaming?

Ronks slams his mouth shut. Tightening his grip on Twitchy he starts to sing into her ear.

RONK:
A whole new swamp?
Somewhere we have never been
It will be just the three of us
There's no need to fuss
Together we will travel swamp to swamp

You’ll make all the bombs fall
Then I’ll smash things with feeling!
Twitchy, look at the stars the sky’s revealing!
So far from the safe and murky swamp

TWITCHY
A whole new Swamp
You better hold your nose!

RONK:
A hundred thousand things to smell!

TWITCHY:
Hold your breath it gets better!

RONK:
We are ready to face the world
See our future unfurled
We can’t go back to the stupid Licktoads!

TWITCHY:
A whole new Swamp

RONK:
Far away from this place

TWITCHY:
New dogs and horses to pursue

RONK:
Every moment gets weirder

BOTH:
We’ll chase them anywhere
There’s bombs to spare
Let me share this whole new swamp with you!

TWITCHY:
A whole new swamp

RONK:
A whole new swamp

TWITCHY:
That’s where we’ll be

RONK:
[nodding] That’s where we’ll be

TWITCHY:
New things to taste

RONK:
We’ll lay them to waste

BOTH:
Just you and me!

_______________________________________________
Source: “I can show you the world” from Aladdin


12 people marked this as a favorite.

The scene... a sleepy little village where everyone is waking up. The sun rises, songbirds sing, and a cackling goblin shoots one with a sling. Out of nowhere, an orchestra starts up, but oddly no one sets fire to it. Yet.

A skinny female goblin leading a giant vulture walks into the center of town, yawning as she meets her team.

___________________________________

TWITCHY

Licktoad town; It's a raucous village.
Ev'ry day
Like the one before
Licktoad town
Full of Licktoad Goblins
Waking up to start...

TOWNSFOLK

Bonfires! Bonfires! Bonfires! Bonfires! Bonfires!

TWITCHY

There goes Magga with her stick, like always
Waiting to thwack poor Ronk again
Ev'ry morning just the same
Since the Gobfest where we came
To compete in this poor goblin town

MAGGA

Morning, Twitchy!

TWITCHY

Morning, Magga.

MAGGA

And where are you off to, today?

TWITCHY

The contest!
We just finished traversing the earbiter
With nasty wires and cutting bits and mud and -

MAGGA

That's nice. Hey kids!
The tinder!
Hurry up!

TOWNSFOLK

Look there she goes that gob is strange, no question
Plotting and planning, can't you tell?

FEMALE GOBLIN

'Cause her bombs are quite loud

MALE GOBLIN

And her bird's up on some cloud

TOWNSFOLK

No denying she's a pyro gob as well

MALE GOBLIN I

Bonfires!

FEMALE GOBLIN I

They smoke!

MALE GOBLIN I

How they are burning!

FEMALE GOBLIN 2

Bonfires!

MALE GOB 1

They smoke!

FEMALE GOB 2

Come see the light!

FEMALE GOB 3

I need six bombs!

FEMALE GOB 4

That's so explosive!

TWITCHY

There must be more than this combustive life!

GRACK

Morning, Twitchy.

TWITCHY

Morning, Grack.
We're ready for the next part of the contest.

GRACK

Finished already?

TWITCHY

Oh, we couldn't stop ourselves!
Have you got anything new?

GRACK

Not since yesterday.

TWITCHY (to team):

Nothing new?
Let's blow up. . . . . Grack's house!

MEDGE

That one?
But you've burned it twice!

TWITCHY

Well, it's my favorite!
Far off distance, sneaking around, screaming Grack, chaos everywhere -

RONK

If you like it all that much, let's go!

TWITCHY

For reals?!

GURP

Heh, heh. We insist.

TWITCHY

Thank you.
Thank you very much!

TOWNSFOLK

Look there they go that team is so obsessive
(As the goblin chorus we can tell)
With a cunning, sneaking look
And all the tinder that they took
They're off to burn Grack's house to hell

TWITCHY

Oh, isn't this amazing?
It's my fav'rite part because --- you'll see
Here's where Twitchy fires the thatching
But Grack won't discover that it's all been done by me!

FEMALE GOB

Now it's no wonder that her name means "fireworks"
Her bombs have got no parallel

MEDGE

But behind poor Grack's facade
Twitchy's tossed a smoking wad

MALE GOB

Much more pyro than the rest of us

TOWNSFOLK

They're pyro like the rest of us
Yes, pyro like the rest of us -- do tell!

GRACK

Your Mighty Girthness!
I'm readying the next challenge, Chief Gutwad!
We'll have the greatest contest in the whole world!

CHIEF GUTWAD

I know.

GRACK

No gob alive stands a chance against you. ---
And no team, for that matter.

CHIEF GUTWAD

It's true, Grack.
And I've got my sights set on that one.

GRACK

The team that killed Squealy?

CHIEF GUTWAD

That's the one - the lucky team I'll be hiring.

GRACK

But they're -

CHIEF GUTWAD

The most pyro team in town.

GRACK

I know, but -

CHIEF GUTWAD

That makes them the best.
And don't I deserve the best?

GRACK

They're burning my house!

CHIEF GUTWAD

Right from the moment when I met them, saw them
I said they're ruthless and I fell
Here in town there's only they
In their pyrotechnic way
So I'm making plans to send them and their beasts as well!

GOBLIN PREGENS

Look there he goes -- Isn't he obese?
Chieftain Gutwad
Oh he's immense!
With all that weight, he's hardly breathing
He's such a short, green, fat and gruesome brute!

FEMALE GOB 1

Bonfire!

CHIEF GUTWAD

It smokes!

FLAMEFINGER

Great day

RONK

The fires!

FEMALE GOB 3

You call this bacon?

FEMALE GOB 4

What lovely flames!

MEDGE

There goes

GURP

The house!

MALE GOB 1

A fire!

GRACK

'scuse me!

FLAMEFINGER

I'll get more fuel

GRACK

Please let me through!

FEMALE GOB 6

Those flames -

FEMALE GOB 7

That smoke -

GRACK

My house!

FEMALE GOB

Ablaze!

MALE GOBS

We're not mistaken.

FEMALE GOBS

Is there more bacon?

TOWNSFOLK

It's burning!
Really burning!

TWITCHY

There must be more than this combustive life!

CHIEF GUTWAD

Just watch,
I'll give that team my knife!

TOWNSFOLK

Look there they go
The team is strange and pyro
A most peculiar set of gobs!

FEMALE GOBS

It's a pity and a sin

MALE GOBS

That they fit right in

TOWNSFOLK

'Cause they really are a pyro team
A bombing, scheming pyro team
They really are a pyro team
Those gobs!

5/5 ⦵⦵⦵

Ooh, I want this too! Surely the society delouses and cures the animal friends of pathfinders.

5/5 ⦵⦵⦵

6 people marked this as a favorite.

"Victory! Doom comes with the written word
In goblin ears, a prophecy overheard --
Sound the warning and bang the drum
The fated longshank hero soon will come!

So we Goblins came to claw and fight
Together pulling down the Paizo site
And now cruel Tonya's hero is delayed
Oh, hero... See our bombs and be afraid!"


Female Goblin Alchemist (Winged Marauder) 3 | HP 23/23 | AC 18 | T 14 | FF 15 | CMD 13 | F +4 | R +6 (+8 vs falls) | W +1 | Init +3 | Per +6
Resources:
20 bullets | 20 bolts | 6/6 bombs | 3 elixirs

Ronk that was the most beautiful goodbye song ever. Thank you!!!

Hmm


Female Goblin Alchemist (Winged Marauder) 3 | HP 23/23 | AC 18 | T 14 | FF 15 | CMD 13 | F +4 | R +6 (+8 vs falls) | W +1 | Init +3 | Per +6
Resources:
20 bullets | 20 bolts | 6/6 bombs | 3 elixirs

I know. I don't want to leave my beloved Ronk, or even Pompous Talking Cat! You were my first PbP, and my best love.

But this isn't working this time. I'm so sorry.

Twitchy


Female Goblin Alchemist (Winged Marauder) 3 | HP 23/23 | AC 18 | T 14 | FF 15 | CMD 13 | F +4 | R +6 (+8 vs falls) | W +1 | Init +3 | Per +6
Resources:
20 bullets | 20 bolts | 6/6 bombs | 3 elixirs

I've lost track of initiative. Who gets to move?


Female Goblin Alchemist (Winged Marauder) 3 | HP 23/23 | AC 18 | T 14 | FF 15 | CMD 13 | F +4 | R +6 (+8 vs falls) | W +1 | Init +3 | Per +6
Resources:
20 bullets | 20 bolts | 6/6 bombs | 3 elixirs

"Hey! Stop poking our pompous talking cat!" Well, at least they're still bunched up. Convenient of them.

Bomb vs Lizard Nine RTA: 1d20 + 8 ⇒ (18) + 8 = 26
Damage: 2d6 + 3 ⇒ (1, 2) + 3 = 6

Nine takes six damage, and his buddy gets another five damage from the splash.

"Fluffer! Flank Attack" Twitchy points to the lizards currently on her true love, Ronk!

Meanwhile, Fluffer comes flying in at Twitchy's call.

He provides a flank for Ronk and attempts to bite number four!

Fluffer bite!: 1d20 + 3 + 2 ⇒ (8) + 3 + 2 = 13
Damage: 1d8 + 1 ⇒ (4) + 1 = 5


Female Goblin Alchemist (Winged Marauder) 3 | HP 23/23 | AC 18 | T 14 | FF 15 | CMD 13 | F +4 | R +6 (+8 vs falls) | W +1 | Init +3 | Per +6
Resources:
20 bullets | 20 bolts | 6/6 bombs | 3 elixirs

Get better!


The scene... a sleepy little village where everyone is waking up. The sun rises, songbirds sing, and a cackling goblin shoots one with a sling. Out of nowhere, an orchestra starts up, but oddly no one sets fire to it. Yet.

A skinny female goblin leading a giant vulture walks into the center of town, yawning as she meets her team.

___________________________________

TWITCHY

Licktoad town; It's a raucous village.
Ev'ry day
Like the one before
Licktoad town
Full of Licktoad Goblins
Waking up to start...

TOWNSFOLK

Bonfires! Bonfires! Bonfires! Bonfires! Bonfires!

TWITCHY

There goes Magga with her stick, like always
Waiting to thwack poor Ronk again
Ev'ry morning just the same
Since the Gobfest where we came
To compete in this poor goblin town

MAGGA

Morning, Twitchy!

TWITCHY

Morning, Magga.

MAGGA

And where are you off to, today?

TWITCHY

The contest!
We just finished traversing the earbiter
With nasty wires and cutting bits and mud and -

MAGGA

That's nice. Hey kids!
The tinder!
Hurry up!

TOWNSFOLK

Look there she goes that gob is strange, no question
Plotting and planning, can't you tell?

FEMALE GOBLIN

'Cause her bombs are quite loud

MALE GOBLIN

And her bird's up on some cloud

TOWNSFOLK

No denying she's a pyro gob as well

MALE GOBLIN I

Bonfires!

FEMALE GOBLIN I

They smoke!

MALE GOBLIN I

How they are burning!

FEMALE GOBLIN 2

Bonfires!

MALE GOB 1

They smoke!

FEMALE GOB 2

Come see the light!

FEMALE GOB 3

I need six bombs!

FEMALE GOB 4

That's so explosive!

TWITCHY

There must be more than this combustive life!

GRACK

Morning, Twitchy.

TWITCHY

Morning, Grack.
We're ready for the next part of the contest.

GRACK

Finished already?

TWITCHY

Oh, we couldn't stop ourselves!
Have you got anything new?

GRACK

Not since yesterday.

TWITCHY (to team):

Nothing new?
Let's blow up. . . . . Grack's house!

MEDGE

That one?
But you've burned it twice!

TWITCHY

Well, it's my favorite!
Far off distance, sneaking around, screaming Grack, chaos everywhere -

RONK

If you like it all that much, let's go!

TWITCHY

For reals?!

GURP

Heh, heh. We insist.

TWITCHY

Thank you.
Thank you very much!

TOWNSFOLK

Look there they go that team is so obsessive
(As the goblin chorus we can tell)
With a cunning, sneaking look
And all the tinder that they took
They're off to burn Grack's house to hell

TWITCHY

Oh, isn't this amazing?
It's my fav'rite part because --- you'll see
Here's where Twitchy fires the thatching
But Grack won't discover that it's all been done by me!

FEMALE GOB

Now it's no wonder that her name means "fireworks"
Her bombs have got no parallel

MEDGE

But behind poor Grack's facade
Twitchy's tossed a smoking wad

MALE GOB

Much more pyro than the rest of us

TOWNSFOLK

They're pyro like the rest of us
Yes, pyro like the rest of us -- do tell!

GRACK

Your Mighty Girthness!
I'm readying the next challenge, Chief Gutwad!
We'll have the greatest contest in the whole world!

CHIEF GUTWAD

I know.

GRACK

No gob alive stands a chance against you. ---
And no team, for that matter.

CHIEF GUTWAD

It's true, Grack.
And I've got my sights set on that one.

GRACK

The team that killed Squealy?

CHIEF GUTWAD

That's the one - the lucky team I'll be hiring.

GRACK

But they're -

CHIEF GUTWAD

The most pyro team in town.

GRACK

I know, but -

CHIEF GUTWAD

That makes them the best.
And don't I deserve the best?

GRACK

They're burning my house!

CHIEF GUTWAD

Right from the moment when I met them, saw them
I said they're ruthless and I fell
Here in town there's only they
In their pyrotechnic way
So I'm making plans to send them and their beasts as well!

GOBLIN PREGENS

Look there he goes -- Isn't he obese?
Chieftain Gutwad
Oh he's immense!
With all that weight, he's hardly breathing
He's such a short, green, fat and gruesome brute!

FEMALE GOB 1

Bonfire!

CHIEF GUTWAD

It smokes!

FLAMEFINGER

Great day

RONK

The fires!

FEMALE GOB 3

You call this bacon?

FEMALE GOB 4

What lovely flames!

MEDGE

There goes

GURP

The house!

MALE GOB 1

A fire!

GRACK

'scuse me!

FLAMEFINGER

I'll get more fuel

GRACK

Please let me through!

FEMALE GOB 6

Those flames -

FEMALE GOB 7

That smoke -

GRACK

My house!

FEMALE GOB

Ablaze!

MALE GOBS

We're not mistaken.

FEMALE GOBS

Is there more bacon?

TOWNSFOLK

It's burning!
Really burning!

TWITCHY

There must be more than this combustive life!

CHIEF GUTWAD

Just watch,
I'll give that team my knife!

TOWNSFOLK

Look there they go
The team is strange and pyro
A most peculiar set of gobs!

FEMALE GOBS

It's a pity and a sin

MALE GOBS

That they fit right in

TOWNSFOLK

'Cause they really are a pyro team
A bombing, scheming pyro team
They really are a pyro team
Those gobs!

___________________________

"Ow!" Twitchy wakes up as Fluffer, her vulture birdie, pecks her.


Female Goblin Alchemist (Winged Marauder) 3 | HP 23/23 | AC 18 | T 14 | FF 15 | CMD 13 | F +4 | R +6 (+8 vs falls) | W +1 | Init +3 | Per +6
Resources:
20 bullets | 20 bolts | 6/6 bombs | 3 elixirs

You're not the only one with insane relatives who steal stuff. I narc'ed on my crazy crackhead cousin recently because I got tired of him stealing from my mom and uncle. Sigh.

I hope you get it straightened out soon.

Hmm


Female Goblin Alchemist (Winged Marauder) 3 | HP 23/23 | AC 18 | T 14 | FF 15 | CMD 13 | F +4 | R +6 (+8 vs falls) | W +1 | Init +3 | Per +6
Resources:
20 bullets | 20 bolts | 6/6 bombs | 3 elixirs

Glad to have you both back! Sorry it's been so rough.


Female Goblin Alchemist (Winged Marauder) 3 | HP 23/23 | AC 18 | T 14 | FF 15 | CMD 13 | F +4 | R +6 (+8 vs falls) | W +1 | Init +3 | Per +6
Resources:
20 bullets | 20 bolts | 6/6 bombs | 3 elixirs

Twitchy ducks the javelins that were thrown at her and Mort. "Hey, no one spears our pompous talking cat!"

She holds her action until Mortimer gets her closer to lizards eight and nine, and then she bombs them.

Bomb: 1d20 + 8 ⇒ (8) + 8 = 16
Damage: 2d6 + 3 ⇒ (2, 1) + 3 = 6

Eight takes 6 damage, and his buddy nine takes 5.


Female Goblin Alchemist (Winged Marauder) 3 | HP 23/23 | AC 18 | T 14 | FF 15 | CMD 13 | F +4 | R +6 (+8 vs falls) | W +1 | Init +3 | Per +6
Resources:
20 bullets | 20 bolts | 6/6 bombs | 3 elixirs

Yeah, Twitchy washes you down, sometimes. You're a clean barbarian (sometimes)!


Female Goblin Alchemist (Winged Marauder) 3 | HP 23/23 | AC 18 | T 14 | FF 15 | CMD 13 | F +4 | R +6 (+8 vs falls) | W +1 | Init +3 | Per +6
Resources:
20 bullets | 20 bolts | 6/6 bombs | 3 elixirs

"Heh. A better rider, too. But I'm not stealing Ronk's mount, Talky-Cat! Just borrowing it!"


Female Goblin Alchemist (Winged Marauder) 3 | HP 23/23 | AC 18 | T 14 | FF 15 | CMD 13 | F +4 | R +6 (+8 vs falls) | W +1 | Init +3 | Per +6
Resources:
20 bullets | 20 bolts | 6/6 bombs | 3 elixirs

Twitchy looks up at the towers. "The lizards have the high ground. We need to neutralize their advantage!" She opens up a batch of bottled lightning up at the lizard in Tower 1.

Bottled Lightning Touch Attack: 1d20 + 8 ⇒ (7) + 8 = 15
Damage: 1d8 ⇒ 3

She then runs and leaps on Mort's back.
Ride Check, Fast Mount: 1d20 + 14 ⇒ (13) + 14 = 27

"Take me to them!"

She calls out, "Fluffer!" When the buzzard appears, she'll point him to attacking the lizards in the towers.


Female Goblin Alchemist (Winged Marauder) 3 | HP 23/23 | AC 18 | T 14 | FF 15 | CMD 13 | F +4 | R +6 (+8 vs falls) | W +1 | Init +3 | Per +6
Resources:
20 bullets | 20 bolts | 6/6 bombs | 3 elixirs

Three lizards, clustered together? At first, Twitchy considered taking them out quietly but one was already shouting. Besides, she remembered that she was traveling with Medge and Ronk. Was quiet even going to be an option?

She grabs one of her prepared bombs, shakes it and tosses it at the center lizard.

Surprise Round
Bomb: 1d20 + 8 ⇒ (19) + 8 = 27
Damage: 2d6 + 3 ⇒ (6, 4) + 3 = 13

The center lizard takes 13 damage and his buddies each take 5 splash damage.

Twitchy now pauses for her team to go so they can have a chance to kill lizards too. She has precise bombs, so can ignore buddies in melee with her bomb targets.

If her team fails to kill these lizards, she bombs again on her round:

Bomb: 1d20 + 8 ⇒ (17) + 8 = 25
Damage: 2d6 + 3 ⇒ (5, 2) + 3 = 10

Wow. I had forgotten how much the Paizo dice roller loves Twitchy. That's 10 damage to the main target plus 5 splash.


Female Goblin Alchemist (Winged Marauder) 3 | HP 23/23 | AC 18 | T 14 | FF 15 | CMD 13 | F +4 | R +6 (+8 vs falls) | W +1 | Init +3 | Per +6
Resources:
20 bullets | 20 bolts | 6/6 bombs | 3 elixirs

Ronk, did you trade away your racial stealth bonus? Because I'm not sure you counted it...


Female Goblin Alchemist (Winged Marauder) 3 | HP 23/23 | AC 18 | T 14 | FF 15 | CMD 13 | F +4 | R +6 (+8 vs falls) | W +1 | Init +3 | Per +6
Resources:
20 bullets | 20 bolts | 6/6 bombs | 3 elixirs

"Excellent!" Twitchy slips under the fence, as quietly and stealthily as possible.

Stealth: 1d20 + 7 + 8 ⇒ (11) + 7 + 8 = 26 Includes Goblin racial and size bonus


Female Goblin Alchemist (Winged Marauder) 3 | HP 23/23 | AC 18 | T 14 | FF 15 | CMD 13 | F +4 | R +6 (+8 vs falls) | W +1 | Init +3 | Per +6
Resources:
20 bullets | 20 bolts | 6/6 bombs | 3 elixirs

Twitchy puts the bandage on her hubby. "You need to get better." Then she turns to the group. "I just figured out what's bothering me about this mission. We're goblins. We're the sneakiest of the sneakiest, except for camouflage lizards, and who cares about camouflage lizards?"

"You know what bothers me about this mission? The Queen already has STEALTH minions, those camo-lizard guys! So why is she sending US? Because we're expendable, that's why!" Twitchy looks over the potions and says, "This is good loot, so maybe we're not totally expendable to her, but still... I think that there may be options we're overlooking here. The lizards are big. They won't see options to get in that we will. This is a town, right? They'll have deliveries. We can sneak into a cart going in and the guards will never know. Or there'll be a hole in the wall that's so small that the guards haven't bothered to repair it. My point is, we aren't limited to just the options that Shadow's given us, right? So what do you think? Shall we find our own way in? Then let's complete the mission and get out from UNDER Vorka's sister. We're the Dread Pirates! We can have allies, but let's not buckle to an Overlord, no matter how pretty or powerful!"

___
Whoa. Twitchy just got her voice back, didn't she?


Female Goblin Alchemist (Winged Marauder) 3 | HP 23/23 | AC 18 | T 14 | FF 15 | CMD 13 | F +4 | R +6 (+8 vs falls) | W +1 | Init +3 | Per +6
Resources:
20 bullets | 20 bolts | 6/6 bombs | 3 elixirs

I can also help do a couple posts to make the story transition easier... And I'll be still reading this gameplay.


Female Goblin Alchemist (Winged Marauder) 3 | HP 23/23 | AC 18 | T 14 | FF 15 | CMD 13 | F +4 | R +6 (+8 vs falls) | W +1 | Init +3 | Per +6
Resources:
20 bullets | 20 bolts | 6/6 bombs | 3 elixirs

Twitchy almost quivers with excitement as she identifies the potions by touch. "This is exceptional work! Is your alchemist with you? I must meet her. Maybe we can exchange formulae!"

Or I could just steal her book. No, wait. These are allies.

She frowns as Shadow describes the situation. "How well do you lizards see in the dark? How's your sense of smell? We goblins are pretty good at stealth, given shadows. We're not the chameleons you are, but we do alright."

After Shadow leaves:

"I'm carrying ant haul now. I can make three of these a day, given a minute." Twitchy looks around. "Maybe I can create a diversion while you guys... Wait a minute. Gurp, you have powerful swamp mojo. How good are you at summoning? Can you summon in a diversion that might distract the guards, or give them something else to worry about? Or would it not last long enough to matter?"


Female Goblin Alchemist (Winged Marauder) 3 | HP 23/23 | AC 18 | T 14 | FF 15 | CMD 13 | F +4 | R +6 (+8 vs falls) | W +1 | Init +3 | Per +6
Resources:
20 bullets | 20 bolts | 6/6 bombs | 3 elixirs

Twitchy has ant haul prepared, and can give it to both you and Fluffer. I can fly other goblins in too.


Female Goblin Alchemist (Winged Marauder) 3 | HP 23/23 | AC 18 | T 14 | FF 15 | CMD 13 | F +4 | R +6 (+8 vs falls) | W +1 | Init +3 | Per +6
Resources:
20 bullets | 20 bolts | 6/6 bombs | 3 elixirs

"We go back to Queen and she fix you," Twitchy says, "but first we have these lizards give us the information we need so we can finish our job and go home."

Home is where our ship is
Where our family will grow
Home is where we'll start our tribe anew

But now we've got a Liz
Who's telling us where to go
For now, we're doing what we must do

We'll somehow get past this
There's so much more to know
We've got hats and pets and a friend or two

Home is where our ship is
My heart tells me this is so
But it's also wherever I'm with you.


Female Goblin Alchemist (Winged Marauder) 3 | HP 23/23 | AC 18 | T 14 | FF 15 | CMD 13 | F +4 | R +6 (+8 vs falls) | W +1 | Init +3 | Per +6
Resources:
20 bullets | 20 bolts | 6/6 bombs | 3 elixirs

Twitchy whispers in Ronk's ear. "You not sluggish where it counts." She gooses him.


Female Goblin Alchemist (Winged Marauder) 3 | HP 23/23 | AC 18 | T 14 | FF 15 | CMD 13 | F +4 | R +6 (+8 vs falls) | W +1 | Init +3 | Per +6
Resources:
20 bullets | 20 bolts | 6/6 bombs | 3 elixirs

I should say that I've been feeling kind of lost lately. I've lost touch with who Twitchy is... She's a goal-oriented goblin, and right now there doesn't seem to be a goal to go for. She's not excited about us doing this job for Vorka's sister, and she isn't really sure what we're supposed to do on this job anyway.

Is this an awful thing to admit? I'm thinking of going on hiatus because I cannot figure out what to do with her anymore.

:(

Hmm


Female Goblin Alchemist (Winged Marauder) 3 | HP 23/23 | AC 18 | T 14 | FF 15 | CMD 13 | F +4 | R +6 (+8 vs falls) | W +1 | Init +3 | Per +6
Resources:
20 bullets | 20 bolts | 6/6 bombs | 3 elixirs

Twitchy, who had been silent all this time, watching and thinking, finally speaks up. "I'm Twitchy. Yeah, we realize we're in Underbelly territory. That's why it's hard to tell friend from foe. Gurp's paranoia and wisdom has kept us alive. If you don't think he's worth talking to..." Twitchy shrugs. "...I guess it's your choice. Your speech to Medge about allies? Very clever and wise, but it applies to you as well as us."

Point made, the alchemist in Twitchy takes over. "How do you do that camouflage effect? Is it natural to you, or do you use a potion or something? If you use a potion, can you teach me? That is the cleverest bit of hiding I've seen."


Female Goblin Alchemist (Winged Marauder) 3 | HP 23/23 | AC 18 | T 14 | FF 15 | CMD 13 | F +4 | R +6 (+8 vs falls) | W +1 | Init +3 | Per +6
Resources:
20 bullets | 20 bolts | 6/6 bombs | 3 elixirs

Sarah, Percy and Bill! (from Jane Yolen's Owl Babies)


Female Goblin Alchemist (Winged Marauder) 3 | HP 23/23 | AC 18 | T 14 | FF 15 | CMD 13 | F +4 | R +6 (+8 vs falls) | W +1 | Init +3 | Per +6
Resources:
20 bullets | 20 bolts | 6/6 bombs | 3 elixirs

Survival: 1d20 + 0 ⇒ (20) + 0 = 20
Knowledge Nature: 1d20 + 8 ⇒ (12) + 8 = 20

"Agreed. Also, these tracks are only a day old, aren't they?" She looks at Ronk. "Keep your eyes out for anything to bonk!"


Female Goblin Alchemist (Winged Marauder) 3 | HP 23/23 | AC 18 | T 14 | FF 15 | CMD 13 | F +4 | R +6 (+8 vs falls) | W +1 | Init +3 | Per +6
Resources:
20 bullets | 20 bolts | 6/6 bombs | 3 elixirs

Welcome back, Plotbunny!


Female Goblin Alchemist (Winged Marauder) 3 | HP 23/23 | AC 18 | T 14 | FF 15 | CMD 13 | F +4 | R +6 (+8 vs falls) | W +1 | Init +3 | Per +6
Resources:
20 bullets | 20 bolts | 6/6 bombs | 3 elixirs

I think she would like the silly song anyway.


Female Goblin Alchemist (Winged Marauder) 3 | HP 23/23 | AC 18 | T 14 | FF 15 | CMD 13 | F +4 | R +6 (+8 vs falls) | W +1 | Init +3 | Per +6
Resources:
20 bullets | 20 bolts | 6/6 bombs | 3 elixirs

I spat out the beginning of a song for all of you. Typed it in five minutes! New record!


Female Goblin Alchemist (Winged Marauder) 3 | HP 23/23 | AC 18 | T 14 | FF 15 | CMD 13 | F +4 | R +6 (+8 vs falls) | W +1 | Init +3 | Per +6
Resources:
20 bullets | 20 bolts | 6/6 bombs | 3 elixirs

While Gurp is having his fling with the creepy voices of the Swamp, Twitchy starts to sing:

Well, we spent three days lookin’ for lizards
‘Cause we want to eat their hearts, cut out their gizzards
Playin’ a fools game, hopin’ to win
Watchin’ the cat lose his way again

We was lookin’ for lizards in all the wrong places
Lookin’ for lizards to smash their faces
Searchin’ for spies, lookin’ for traces
O the loot we’re dreamin of

Hopin’ Fuff can find a trail to hover
We’ll bless the day we discover
A scaly thief we can shove
And we was alone then, no thief on site
So we took our naps and slept through the night
Don’t know where the trail started or where it might end
Mort filled our bellies with fish like a friend

‘Cause...
We was lookin for lizards in all the wrong places
Lookin’ for lizards to smash their faces
Searchin’ for spies, lookin’ for traces
O the loot we’re dreamin of

____
Anyone who wants to add verses to this, can. The original song has an absurd number of verses...


Female Goblin Alchemist (Winged Marauder) 3 | HP 23/23 | AC 18 | T 14 | FF 15 | CMD 13 | F +4 | R +6 (+8 vs falls) | W +1 | Init +3 | Per +6
Resources:
20 bullets | 20 bolts | 6/6 bombs | 3 elixirs

Me unlucky? No not really. I'm insanely healthy for a 50 year old, I have two adult men who love me and are willing to share me, two great teenagers and a job I love.

I just had a bad run of luck recently.

Hmm


Female Goblin Alchemist (Winged Marauder) 3 | HP 23/23 | AC 18 | T 14 | FF 15 | CMD 13 | F +4 | R +6 (+8 vs falls) | W +1 | Init +3 | Per +6
Resources:
20 bullets | 20 bolts | 6/6 bombs | 3 elixirs

Oh dear. Plot Bunny, put the game on hiatus. Your grandfather comes first. I had to put the game that I was GMing on hiatus this week because:

1) I broke my fridge
2) I broke my vacuum cleaner
3) I broke my foot

The first two are dealt with, but the third is really hampering my ability to do stuff, and has shot my ability to GM coherently.

Family comes first. Forget about us. Pick us up again when you are ready.

Twitchy


Female Goblin Alchemist (Winged Marauder) 3 | HP 23/23 | AC 18 | T 14 | FF 15 | CMD 13 | F +4 | R +6 (+8 vs falls) | W +1 | Init +3 | Per +6
Resources:
20 bullets | 20 bolts | 6/6 bombs | 3 elixirs

What, roleplay? I think we need to SING.


Female Goblin Alchemist (Winged Marauder) 3 | HP 23/23 | AC 18 | T 14 | FF 15 | CMD 13 | F +4 | R +6 (+8 vs falls) | W +1 | Init +3 | Per +6
Resources:
20 bullets | 20 bolts | 6/6 bombs | 3 elixirs

Perception: 1d20 + 6 ⇒ (14) + 6 = 20

Twitchy looks over the side of the ship. "I think I see which way the lizards went, but I'm hungry. Do you want to get me some fish, Ronk and Pompous Talking Cat? Meanwhile, I'll see if we can fly higher and see which way they went!"

She mounts Fluffer.

Ride: 1d20 + 14 ⇒ (10) + 14 = 24

Survival 1: 1d20 + 0 ⇒ (18) + 0 = 18

Survival 2: 1d20 + 0 ⇒ (11) + 0 = 11

She is only able to follow the trail partway before she loses it, coming back for the others, to see if they can see what she missed.


Female Goblin Alchemist (Winged Marauder) 3 | HP 23/23 | AC 18 | T 14 | FF 15 | CMD 13 | F +4 | R +6 (+8 vs falls) | W +1 | Init +3 | Per +6
Resources:
20 bullets | 20 bolts | 6/6 bombs | 3 elixirs

Yeah, we're goblins. No one's taking watch. Sometimes we forget to do the sensible thing, and remember both Twitchy and Mort were amongst the first to fall asleep.


Female Goblin Alchemist (Winged Marauder) 3 | HP 23/23 | AC 18 | T 14 | FF 15 | CMD 13 | F +4 | R +6 (+8 vs falls) | W +1 | Init +3 | Per +6
Resources:
20 bullets | 20 bolts | 6/6 bombs | 3 elixirs

Twitchy grabs Ronk, hugging the sobbing barbarian, and then nods to Medge. "Sounds like we have plan. We rest. Ronk goes to sleep and doesn't bonk Medge. Medge goes to sleep and doesn't eat hubby's eyeballs. Then we go out, track lizards, and kill them and get loot back."

Putting her arms around Ronk, and leaning up on poumpous talking cat, she falls asleep.


Female Goblin Alchemist (Winged Marauder) 3 | HP 23/23 | AC 18 | T 14 | FF 15 | CMD 13 | F +4 | R +6 (+8 vs falls) | W +1 | Init +3 | Per +6
Resources:
20 bullets | 20 bolts | 6/6 bombs | 3 elixirs

Perception: 1d20 + 6 ⇒ (13) + 6 = 19

Twitchy looks up as Fluffer thumps on the mast, and then looks down. "Wait a minute, there was a lizard tied down there!"

Using her cool boots and her bounciness, she leaps down from the mast to the deck.

Acrobatics: 1d20 + 9 ⇒ (20) + 9 = 29

Assuming 30 feet up, acrobatics for half-damage, boots of the cat for minimal damage, and bouncy to ignore the first ten feet of damage, she takes at most 1 HP damage from the fall. If that.

Landing lighly on her feet, adrenaline surging through her now, she wails as she looks below deck. "They took our stuff, but I'm not sure we're in shape to chase them right now!"


Female Goblin Alchemist (Winged Marauder) 3 | HP 23/23 | AC 18 | T 14 | FF 15 | CMD 13 | F +4 | R +6 (+8 vs falls) | W +1 | Init +3 | Per +6
Resources:
20 bullets | 20 bolts | 6/6 bombs | 3 elixirs

Twitchy's Fort save against fatigue: 1d20 + 4 ⇒ (5) + 4 = 9
Fluffer's Fort save against fatigue: 1d20 + 5 ⇒ (1) + 5 = 6

Twitchy falls asleep on Fluffer as well. Fluffer lands on the Crow's Nest of the Dread Pirate boat and conks out himself.


Female Goblin Alchemist (Winged Marauder) 3 | HP 23/23 | AC 18 | T 14 | FF 15 | CMD 13 | F +4 | R +6 (+8 vs falls) | W +1 | Init +3 | Per +6
Resources:
20 bullets | 20 bolts | 6/6 bombs | 3 elixirs

Hey... I got to expand my library of Pathfinder books by an enormous amount. I'm also waiting for Medge's wrench.


Female Goblin Alchemist (Winged Marauder) 3 | HP 23/23 | AC 18 | T 14 | FF 15 | CMD 13 | F +4 | R +6 (+8 vs falls) | W +1 | Init +3 | Per +6
Resources:
20 bullets | 20 bolts | 6/6 bombs | 3 elixirs

Welcome back, Medge. Wrench away! Of course it figures that by the time I actually bot you, you come back. See, this was all you needed!

At Mort: Power attack? Have you seen Ronk's dice luck? I think it's a good choice, but the dice roller has not been kind to either Ronk or Gurp in this game.


Female Goblin Alchemist (Winged Marauder) 3 | HP 23/23 | AC 18 | T 14 | FF 15 | CMD 13 | F +4 | R +6 (+8 vs falls) | W +1 | Init +3 | Per +6
Resources:
20 bullets | 20 bolts | 6/6 bombs | 3 elixirs

"I have shrill voice? You kidding me?"

Twitchy's voice rises higher still as she sings,

All gobs got a place in the mire,
Some sing low some sing higher
Some shriek out loud as they build their pyre
Out of oils or tails or anything they got now!

"Captain Medge, we need you! Tell us how to deal with this haunt!"

And now I remember what I'm waiting for. I'm waiting for someone to tell us what to do to get rid of the haunt. Twitchy has no Knowledge Religion skill... Maybe this is where we should boss Medge being bossy and authoritative?

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