Todd, The Infernal Janitor's page

Todd, The Infernal Janitor wrote:

NobodysHome wrote:

The Game Hamster wrote:

I can understand the principle of needing a house code, especially in cities where a fire or something could spread rapidly, but denying a permit to a house owner on the grounds of not being a professional seems a bit illegal here in the US.

It would be a bit like saying you can't change your car wheel or brakes if you aren't a professional mechanic

Think "lawyer".

"Oh, yes. It's perfectly legal for you to change your brakes. You just need to apply for this permit."
"Oh, I'm sorry. Your permit was denied. No, we don't have an explanation. If you want, you can file an appeal and we'll get to it in 6 months."

Banning through red tape, rather than legal grounds.

Lawyers are a special kind of demon. Fortunately they hate getting whacked by a flaming wet mop.

So, hell's where y' ended up. Had high hopes for ya, boy. Y' disappoint me.

Grandpappy made a bum deal. I'm just reaping the grapes.

The Game Hamster wrote:

I can understand the principle of needing a house code, especially in cities where a fire or something could spread rapidly, but denying a permit to a house owner on the grounds of not being a professional seems a bit illegal here in the US.

It would be a bit like saying you can't change your car wheel or brakes if you aren't a professional mechanic

Think "lawyer".

"Oh, yes. It's perfectly legal for you to change your brakes. You just need to apply for this permit."
"Oh, I'm sorry. Your permit was denied. No, we don't have an explanation. If you want, you can file an appeal and we'll get to it in 6 months."

Banning through red tape, rather than legal grounds.

Lawyers are a special kind of demon. Fortunately they hate getting whacked by a flaming wet mop.

walks over sheepishly and picks up the wrench.*
Heh. Butterfingers...

It can be a body stashed in the storage closet...

Anyone seen the janitor recently?

Sorry I'm late... You guys needed something?

*grumbles*
Neither do I...

Aye, a congrats be in order. Just remember to keep your floors clean or I may have to come over, clobber ya with my mop, and then clean 'em myself.

I'm a Janitor, not an Engineer.
*shakes his head, returns to mopping*

I don't trust 'em. They only get 99.99% of germs. It may be tough, but my method gets more of 'em.

*cleans up the broken glass, and blood, and what have you.*
I swear, this place is actually getting worse the more I clean up here....

I'd have thought that you'd be used to it. Surely good jokes are pretty had to come by in the nine circles of hell?

I spent nine eternities cleaning up the remains of folks who offended TFF with poor jokes.

Are you a moron?

Heh.
Answered my own question didn't I?
*returns to mopping.*

You know what he's going to say and do to THAT particular scenario.

Todd: "Oh ho, no! No more devil's gifts, not today not ever!"

And to illustrate his point, he'll use a mop and bucket like a lance and shield (and the bucket WILL be full of dirty water, as he'll have just cleaned the floor).

Sorry, but no water, it disagrees with the infernal, unholy avenger mop. I use all-natural molten lava sourced from sustainable abbysal springs.

But other than that, yeah. That about sums it up.

Oi! Keep it down in there! I've enough work with just the forum Games, don't make me come clean up you act to!

Oy! What about me moron? I do all the heavy lifting in that department you know.

*wipes*

*the floors... What did you think he wiped?*

*Aims laser rifle at the goblins'head*

ZZZZAP!!!

"Mission completed, target neutralized.
Can someone call the infernal janitor Todd, to clean this up?"

Sorry I took me so long, but after that Baby Goblin incident I had to take a small vacati-- WHAT THE WHAT NOW!? I LEAVE FOR JUST A COUPLE OF DAYS AND THIS IS WHAT THE PLACE LOOKS LIKE!?

Germs. It is easy to kill germs, especially if they get out of hand like this one did.

The next poster has a backup plan for returning GT to the grave if the germ-GT proves almost as unkillable as this one did.
Edit: Our posts are switching places; I've had this happen to me before.

I got to do everything around here?

The next poster also makes a mess.

Not my department
Until they get blood every where anyway...

You moronic pieces of filth!! Get back here!! AND WOULD YA STOP TRAILING YER INNARDS ALL OVER THE PLACE, YA GIANT LUMPS OF SICKENED FLESH!! I swear the disrespect these days.
*slams the germs with his unholy avenger mop*
*mutters under his breath as he wipes away their sad, pathetic, dead bodies*
Gottem, but there's always more...

Yeah... Sure... Whatever...
Come on men!! Better get it before it stains.
*Begins a full-scale sanitation of the thread*

*sits in the back, cleaning the squad car*
I can't promise it'll be clean after GoatToucher's been in it, but at least it'll be clean before he gets in here.
*Grabs a doughnut*

Todd, The Infernal Janitor wrote:

*growls*

I hate theaters, no one knows how to clean properly.

*Adjusts monocle and straightens top-hat*

Are you even sure, you have ever seen the inside of a theater? I mean, I don't believe that my favoured establishment, would let in infernal riff-raff.

Well, now we are discussing a completely different kind of establishment, much cleaner, also, I go where I please, and I clean what I please...

*growls*
I hate theaters, no one knows how to clean properly.

Where in all of the Multi-verse did this lake come from?? Ah, great, just what I needed, another giant spilling his drink. Come on boys, Let's get'er done.

*begins to mop up the lake... It's rather slow work...*

*cleans*

*Beats the jester over the head with his mop*
Anyone else want to start with the funny-business around here?
Yeah, didn't think so.
*returns to attacking the grime on the floor*

Alright, men, we've got goblins running about with bombs, fire, and dirt.
[audible gasp] Yes, I just said dirt. WE are about to embark in the most dangerous cleaning mission that we have performed to this date.

McMurtons, your on cleaning detail, take your men and start scrubbing.
Girtie, your men will take out the little devils, And I...
I'll take on the dirt, clear it, and let you men mop up behind me.

What in the world did you guys do here?? Oh, this that infernal Pulg's hair.
McMurtons, your squad is on Pulg detail, keep him at bay, using whatever means necessary. Everyone else, follow me.
*Begins scrubbing and sweeping the floor with his legion of janitors in tow*
*looks over at grandpa wonderbra*
I'm still smoothing out the edges on a few of 'em, but several have been markedly improving, like McMurtons there, but we'll see what they're all like once I've actually finished with 'em.

Aye, But a lot good that curse has done my family.

Which was me being sarcastic, after all, it was that curse that lead me into hell, thanks to grandpap's contract, once I turned 30, I had to either sell my soul or stay in hell... I took the former, shoulda' took the later, Life would be easier.

The next poster also has[/had] a family demon contract.

*Cleans up the place with his army of janitors in tow...*
WHAT DO YOU THINK YOU ARE DOING McMURTONS?? IS THAT HOW YOUR MOMMA TAUGHT YOU TO SWEEP?
*Hands McMurtons a tooth-brush*
NOW GET DOWN ON THE FLOOR AND SCRUB IT TILL I CAN SEE MYSELF IN IT!!

...
Sheesh. Hard to get good help these days.

*beats Pulg with his unholy +2 flaming mop*
Stupid pest, go outside to do that!!

Huh, not a bad proposition there Gramps, just one problem... It removes all the fun out of complaining, if I'm not the one actually scrubbing...

Of course! I'll work with them, so that I can continue to complain, but also get done faster. course, I may beat 'em if they don't do it right...

*grumbles about inefficient work-forces.*

I'm just here to clean up after these morons.
*continues to sweep*

*Tries to blow a fanfare fory himself*

*Spits acid all over the place*

*Growls...*

Sure seems like it...
[i]*finishes up sharpening, returns without a scratch*[i]
Say, Vick, how 'bout we go get a coffee, after I finish my work here and ditch this place... I feel like reminiscing for a little while, immortality starts to make a man lonely ya know... makes him think about the good ol' days...

Yeah, in hell. I remember it well; It was for an entire year, right before I ended up selling my soul... good times, good times...

the next poster was there also, but had forgotten due to the horrors of the place, and mental blocking.

You might want to get that examined. It sounds like a problem waiting to happen.
*sharpens and polishes the moving blades*
Sheesh... when was the last time anyone did anything for these?

Okay, I'll admit that that hurt...

So who's idea was it?

*stands there, threateningly with his mop*

*sprinkles holy water on the door handle to Todd's supply Closet*

Teeheehee....

Who put water on my door knob, and why?

*Casts Maze on Artephius*

He was boring me with all that «uninvited guests» thing.

We'll get rid of him for a time. There's no way he can get out of there without an INT score.

Todd will probably be grateful.

Back to the party now.

Why would I be grateful!? Now I've got way more dashboards and walls to dust! And they're all in this tiny pocket dimension...

*returns to sweeping, again, grumbling to himself*

The only nice thing about selling my soul is that I never have allergic reactions to anything anymore...
Thanks for the gestures though...
*continues to sweep the mess*

*Mops up behind the Golem.*

I'm seriously starting to get tired of this...

*Beats Dirty Old Victorian Longears upside the head with his +2 flaming, unholy mop.*
*continues to sweep and grumble to self*

Come on people!! Can't you keep this clean for just one minute!?
*begins to clean up the acid and dead bodies*

*Cleans up after the party goers, grumbling to himself the entire time.*

You could give me back my soul, and release me from eternal servitude, but somehow, I doubt you ever will. BECAUSE YOUR THE GM, AND YOU MAKE THE RULES BUT I AM TIRED OF THIS AND JUST WANT TO DIE ALREADY!!

*growls*
I dislike jokes...

Man now that is service, or he could be a spy of some sorts.

*glares at Vidmaster*

*drags dead bodies of Jokey's puns out*

*grumbles immaterial objections to self*