The Next Poster...


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Talk about:
-Paladins and alignment
-Martial/caster disparity
-Viability of the Fighter
And let the madness begin.

The next poster disagrees with me and has a better way to do it.


You put a small, explosive device on one of the thread's rails, timed to go off as the thread's train goes over it. Perfect derailment.

The next poster thinks I missed something and has THE perfect way to derail the thread.


Yes...it's called nuking it from orbit, to be sure.

The next poster would have his bunker all set up if that were to happen.


My dragon lair is protected against everything after so many adventurers have come to try to convert me to their religion, sell me cookies and get me to change my electric company. I have protection against everything: fire, ice, wind, alignments, alignment threads, nuking, floods... My lair is actually flooded so I don't think it could be even more flooded.

The Next poster found the weak point in my lair's protections.


It's just 5' by 5', and you can only fit your head into it.

The next poster enjoys sneaking up to Mohrlex, pulling the end of his tail and then running away.


The running away is the easy part.

The next poster employs diplomatic measures between all seven nations of pulg's sapient hair-lice.


Diplomacy insecticide. It's like nuking them from orbit.

The next poster thinks pesticide is a hate crime.:)


Pesticides, bactericides, antibiotics, that shouldn't exist! They are just an example of the big creature supremacists trying to erradicate smaller life forms!

The next poster fights for equality of small life forms.


Because squirrels have unfairly been deemed the "undecisive" by those chordataphobic Specieists!

The next poster texts in Runes.


1 person marked this as a favorite.

ᚱᚢᚾᛟ

How did you think clerics of Irori would text?

The next poster has an poorly thought out excuse about how they ended up with their hand stuck in a mouse trap.


It is part of my lifelong quest to Become Cheese.

The next poster wants to know whether s/he should accept that invitation to go to Hermea.


Of, course I want to know... Is the food good there?? Are the brain-washing sessions mandatory?? Do I need to shape myself into a human?? Will I have to worship the dragon-king????

The next poster knows whether or not I should go, as well as the answers to this question.


Only_the_best_food_is_served_to_those_on_Hermea.

For_your_purpose_you_will_only_need_one_week_of_brain-washing._That_will_be _enough_to_season_your_mind.

They_have_been_watching_you_so_they_know_what_you_are._You_do_not_need_to_t ake_human_shape.

You_will_worship_the_dragon-king._It_is_the_order_of_things_(food_chain).

You_should_be_honored_that_the_dragon-king_has_asked_for_you._Being_that_yo u_are_immortal_I_do_not_know_that_you_can_be_digested._That_is_what_the_kin g_wants_to_find_out._You_shall_now_come_with_me_to_Hermea.

Crag_Irons wrote:
Run! Run as fast as those little legs can carry you!

The_next_poster_has_discovered_that_AI_is_planning_to_take_over_through _the_fast_food_industry_first.


The Special Sauce on the Burgernator-100? Self-replicating nanites.

The next poster was part of the test group for GoatToucher Brand "Special Sauce" and will give us their unvarnished review.


Oddly reminiscent of his eponymous Rump Ointment, but with a spicy kick of its own that tantalises the taste buds and can melt through solid rock in a matter of seconds.

The Next Poster, somewhen in ye 1500s, will tell us how they hunted down GT's notorious coiner ancestor, GroatToucher.

Silver Crusade

I remember it well, that GroatToucher ("penny pincher" is what you would call him today; Groat was an English coin). He had been collecting taxes in Scotland for England he claimed, but as a merchant guard I knew he was collecting more than his fair share. When I exposed him to the locals they formed a mob and chased him for many days. We found him hiding on a goat farm close to the southern boarder. He had been killing the goats out of rage, and when the owner of the farm discovered the GroatToucher he cursed him. That all his dependents would love goats to shame his family for all time. He was turned into the officials and was never seen again.

The curse did not manifest in GroatToucher's family until a grandchild was born 24 years later. The family returned to Scottish soil and a vile urge overcame the child. It is best to end the story there.

The Next Poster is a descendant of the farmer that cursed GoatToucher's family.


1 person marked this as a favorite.

Aye, But a lot good that curse has done my family.

Which was me being sarcastic, after all, it was that curse that lead me into hell, thanks to grandpap's contract, once I turned 30, I had to either sell my soul or stay in hell... I took the former, shoulda' took the later, Life would be easier.

The next poster also has[/had] a family demon contract.


1 person marked this as a favorite.

There was this demon with the most interesting family you could ever imagine. Well, on a dare, I magically impregnated him. Nine months later, came the contractions.

The next poster is Todd's heavenly counterpart . . . the Celestial Janitor . . .

Dark Archive

I did so much evil that I was sentenced to Community Service. I do nothing, Heavens are always so clean.

The next poster also has an easy job.


Back in the youth of the internet, trolling was a strange new concept. Decisionmakers gave me the job of making sure there is enough troll activity so that it can be studied. They never got around to ending the payouts.

I never had to lift a finger, of course.

The next poster wants a... REALLY, REALLY WANTS A cheeseburger.


These humans and their exotic meals! Who would think of shredding the meat, burning it, then letting the milk turn solid and then turn some cereals to that delicious thing they call bread? The complexity of the process amazes me!

The next poster has the quality of beingbeing able, to see the amazing part of the simple things.


It's all part of the job, really, I mean, if I couldn't sell trees to elves, I could be in this job, making a decent living, right mate?

The next poster's got an interesting pet choice.


It looks like a jar of meat paste on a leash, and that's exactly what it is!

The next poster made friends with their Sea Monkeys. What they found out will shock you!


If you get enough of them together, they combine to form a giant aquatic simian! (Giant, for them, it is actually only a couple inches tall)

The next poster has plans for the giant aquatic simian (that's only a couple inches tall)


Make it join my Mad Sea Monkeys spell. It's probably feeling alone.

The next poster makes big things with small spells.


Indeed. Did you know that if you build a machine that casts billions of the weakest lightning spells every second, you can power an entire city?

The next poster appreciates how construction is a greater power than destruction.


2 people marked this as a favorite.

Of course! Why go all the way into a lethal dungeon when you can use your Lire of Building to make a new and safe way into the final boss?

The next poster favors another musical instrument.


Why do you think I should favor a xylophone? It's because I am made of wood? That's a racist assumption! How could I favor something that uses my own kind as a material? Bone xylophone in the other hand is not bad.

The next poster has a good use for bones.


He's my personal doctor!

The next poster has worked with Scotty.


Yes, he beamed me to the Enterprise.

It was a silly place, so i left again.

The next poster had the role of a red shirt in one of Star Trek's episodes, and can tell us about its perks.

Though, is there one?


It was a great plot device...

The next poster has a good plot device for us as well...


I found a great app on Google Play for mathematics plotting.

The next poster has a mathematics degree they earned at an unusual institution of learning.


It was integrated into my memory at the time i woke up.

The next poster is on a diplomatic mission on behalf of the European union, to mend USA - Russian tensions, before Europe is caught in between.

Liberty's Edge

My plan is to have both sides embracing Anarchy. And I hope it spreads everywhere after that!

The next poster has a better solution.


2 people marked this as a favorite.

Let's cast True Resurrection on Napoleon!

The next poster is a veteran of the Battle of Portaloo.


We fought for the cake, but the cake was a lie.

The next poster is an expert in imaginary bakes.


Just look at this --> <--! Isn't it tasty? :)

The next poster won. And has a special trophy to prove it.


Every fight I win I take whatever the enemy used to hurt me. So I have claws, teeth, blades, spellbooks, hands, and so on. It is a little morbid, I guess, but collecting just gold coins does not really tell a story.

The next poster wares different styles of makeup, and will share why?


Well, if I just "ware" one kind, I limit my potential customer base.

The next poster is confused about the difference between where, wear, and ware.


I'm not aware of where is the ware that I should wear.

The next poster is not aware of something very important.


How was I suppose to know that sticking your tail up in the air was a offensive gesture among the lizardfolk? I was trying to make them laugh. If I was not cold blooded I would have blushed when they told me what it meant to them.

The next poster helped me escape from the lizardfolk.


Actually_I_am_not_helping_you_escape._I_am_taking_you_to_be_judged_for_your _crimes._I_guess_that_is_what_you_did_not_know.

The_next_poster_is_the_judge_that_will_pass_judgement.


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And your queen... ehm... judge condemns you to repay your terrible crime by building a statue of Her Gracious Majesty Queen Va'Ardalia Silvanos, First of Her Name, Speaker of the Sun and Stars and Saviour of the Whole World.

The next poster explains why that will work as restitution for his crime.


1 person marked this as a favorite.

All he had done anyway was steal the left eye of a statue anyway...

The next poster will also help him build this statue

Dark Archive

1 person marked this as a favorite.

*Casts flesh to stone on Va'ardalia*
And it's done. Quick and easy.

The next poster reveals the consequences of what I've done.


1 person marked this as a favorite.

No! You have to undo that!! We don't want a queen with a stone heart. It won't be good for the people!

Plus, when her mother learns about what you've done we'll all be dead... or worse!!!

The next poster has a original solution for this mess.


1 person marked this as a favorite.

Oh this is easy.

* Restores Va'ardalia to flesh, clones her, then turns Va'ardalia back to stone. *

There, that solves that problem.

Now, for phase 2.

* Programs the clone to be 100% loyal to Seleena *

The next poster is more than willing in assisting in this subterfuge and will work tirelessly to ensure its success.

Dark Archive

Of course, Grandpa, you've been really useful. I am so grateful to you.
Now I have my own queen to be.

The next poster has a clever idea about what should I do with her.


Tie her up, burn her, and blame her mother!!

Starting a war is an ancient, and time-honored tradition.

The next poster will implement this plan... As [s]he best sees fit...


It was a match made in Hell
Now the whole mountain burns

The next poster gets what no man deserves

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