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I say, I say, son... who here be talkin' bout the law like that? Don't you know about them-thar seperations? You know, the law is always within seven degrees of seperation from Kevin Bacon, and Parker Lewis Can't Lose, ergo NUNYA! As the good book says, A. Aalison...... 555-1212, Alex Aalison..... 555-5555, Alexander Aalison..... 555-1222.
Sounds good! All in favor say, "Aye!"
To clarify, "In God We Trust" specifically refers to Azathoth: blind idiot god of creation... who is also the creator who endowed us with certain inalienable rights so that we think he's completely alien.
Those references are taken completely out of context. What'll you give me to retract that statement?
I call for an end of the Jack's Clubhouse being a Sanctuary City™. Those bronze, job-killing abominations are directly responsible for the Cholera outbreak in Haiti. They are tearing the very fabric of this forum by pushing their Jack agenda of limitless spending and redistribution of the beer. How long shall we tolerate these Paizo haters? The representative from the poodle thread will remember that he expounds the virtues of HERO quite often...
I normally try to ignore those threads like the plague but it doesn't always work - I only realised that the Off Topic Senate was safe yesterdayGood for you! This is probably the smartest thing people can do about that thread until there is something to actually discuss.I started flagging but couldn't keep up so in the end i just deleted my post and will now ignore the entire thingIs there any way to flag an entire thread for inciting crass stupidity?Yes start at the first post and flag everyone of them upto [sic] and including my own, as well as yours. Better safe than sorry, I says.
As a representative of the Booze Coalition, I propose - BEER! Passed without vote! Anyone who votes against this is a commie-pinko de-gen-er-ate and Un-American.
I move that this "presedent of tempura" get the hell outta my chair. This ain't no damn democracy, now bring in the strippers! *strips* This was my major back at Calhoun Tech.
Now that it's settled, we're gonna tack a rider bill on there that makes the Bulmahnauts give up their boats in exchange for magic beans... There! Legislation is ready to be voted on. All in favor?
I motion that we duct tape the poodle. I also motion that we make drinking days like Cinco de Mayo and St. Patrick's Day as official Federal holidays. Conceded on the second motion. There seems to be some animosity between the Jacks and the Poodles... Let the wild accusations begin! Intern, fetch me some popcorn and my mudslingin' pants! I gotta get this pair off, stat!
Next up on the docket: vote on whether carrots make good back scratchers. We open the floor to motions.
As one of the Jacks asked for Kobold hunting season to open, I believe Poodle hunting season should be declared open as well. Guns for all, and all for guns!
New Years Resolution? You can't make me facilitate no more cotton-pickin' razzafrazz or mumbojumbo!!! I demand a recount, I demand satisfaction! Now where are the interns?!
Can I hang with you guys? The other sen-a-torres are indisposed bean countin'.
Is you is, or is you ain't my constitchency?I move that the cafeteria serve mandatory cole slaw, and some orange jell-o. Nom!How come their isn't a cole slaad? I'm gettin' kinda hungry.Cole Slaw is not a Slaad. Look into my eye...
My esteemed colleague in the house would like to express his desire to fire weapons at the good people of Why-oming... but it didn't pass in the senate. We were afraid that it was just pork-barrel ammunition expenses. Besides, there ain't 'nough people round those parts to use as target practice. I will recognize anyone willing to make a motion to have that state renamed North Utah.
How come their isn't a cole slaad? I'm gettin' kinda hungry.Cole Slaw is not a Slaad. I move that the cafeteria serve mandatory cole slaw, and some orange jell-o. Nom!
How come their isn't a cole slaad? I'm gettin' kinda hungry.
In regards to our nations government, the fair people of this land have proclaimed: "Mulligan!"
Happy Birthday, Mister President. As a birthday gift, we're sending you Rod Blagojevich's hair.
I think somethings wrong. I better consult a physician, or some such.
Heh heh heh! You said "hard". What's wrong with sayin' the word "Hard"? Hard. Hard. Hard. Hard like a bard in lard playin' cards for shards. I just don't get it. I'll have to have an intern show me.
Bummer dude! You know what you need? Taxpayer funded Viagra! Pfizer is one of our most ardent supporters! They're a hard faction to deal with.
Naah man, it was the strain. I'm not used to seeing things that small.AAAARRRRRRGGGGHHHHH!!!! MY EYES!!!! Years of legislating have left me shriveled and nearly useless. It's a medical condition known as the Diminutive Caucus.
AAAARRRRRRGGGGHHHHH!!!! MY EYES!!!! Sorry, I didn't mean to get any in your eyes. <snicker>
Greetings sir! *removes pants*
Mr. President, I move that all internet trolls henceforth be publicly flogged with wet noodles, then dragged through a puddle of hot caramel, followed by a pile of crushed pecans. Bailiff, you are hereby ordered to pistol whip yourself.
Mr. President, I move that all internet trolls henceforth be publicly flogged with wet noodles, then dragged through a puddle of hot caramel, followed by a pile of crushed pecans. and That sounds delicious. The motion carries. All in favor of wet noodle whipping and caramel dunking of trolls say "Ho!", say "Ho! Ho!" What? I'm hip!
Mr. PPT, with all due respect, nobody's going to choke on that tiny twig.He'p me! He's tryin' to choke me with his wood! Damn the Stick! The Stick!I'd challenge them-thar puppets to fist-i-cuffs, but it seems somebody is already up to their elbows in them. *ahem*Sorry, we don't do fisticuffs. But if you stand still long enough, Punch will come along and bash your head with a stick. I said he was tryin', not that he was succeedin'!
I'd challenge them-thar puppets to fist-i-cuffs, but it seems somebody is already up to their elbows in them. *ahem*Sorry, we don't do fisticuffs. But if you stand still long enough, Punch will come along and bash your head with a stick. He'p me! He's tryin' to choke me with his wood! Damn the Stick! The Stick!
I'd challenge them-thar puppets to fist-i-cuffs, but it seems somebody is already up to their elbows in them. *ahem*Sorry, we don't do fisticuffs. But if you stand still long enough, Punch will come along and bash your head with a stick. He is always winging his wood around. If he plays too much, he's gonna go blind. *ahem* as in he's gonna put an eye out.
I don't recall allowing a Senate to be formed. Some one summon Taig to put a stop to that nonsense. Our power is vested in us by the people of Off-Topica.
Yes, many times... during session. Edit: When he makes a motion, everyone hits the floor.
I'd challenge them-thar puppets to fist-i-cuffs, but it seems somebody is already up to their elbows in them. *ahem*
Blue Fairy made me a real, live puppet! And, if I'm a good puupet, maybe one day she'll turn me into a real little jester. We can only hope. *Signals to Secret Service to take down Creepy Puppet*
Who in the blasted tarnation is puppeteering that thing!? It must be from a witch! Or a communist! *prepares for witch-hunt*
*bangs gavel* Wuhtarey'all, Freemason? We can't have Rusty the Poodle be our mascot. He likes to swim, and it turns the water all red and tangy. I hope that's from the rust. But still, the motion carries. ALl in favor?
I ask that we be allowed to set these annoying puppets on fire.Maybe once the Esteemed Senators from Zombieland and Mairkuria (yes it's a real place) pull their hands out the danged puppets... or whatever it is they've got in thar. I thought they was done conquered by them Fatamids, or maybe them Ayyubids, or was it them Auto-Mans? They're called Auto, I didn't know they were German. I thought they was Turkeys. Edit: Oh wait that's Makuria, not Mairkuria. I got you corn-fused with this guy called Merkurios.
I ask that we be allowed to set these annoying puppets on fire. Maybe once the Esteemed Senators from Zombieland and Mairkuria (yes it's a real place) pull their hands out the danged puppets... or whatever it is they've got in thar.
*snips the puppet strings* Why don't ch'all think fuh yuhselves fuh a change? You been lettin' the An-Ti-lectuals control yuh movement again. Unless they've got some muhney to be spreadin' round this here floor, there ain't gonna be no rushing of my esteemed positions. 'less them interns want a piece... Oh, and I do hereby declare that there are now free drinks being passed around by the good folks of a certain petro-chemical concern to look the other way about certain ecomological disasters what that done killed some penguins or some such. I say pass the hooch!
How can you have violence *IN* the floor? Bailiff, knock some sense intuh that guy!
The Representative of Kobold House moves that guns no longer be allowed in the Senate chambers.*Points gun at KC* Say your pwayers wabbit, er kobold!I motion that we declare that Kobold hunting season is now in effect.The Kobold House Representative protests, and requests that hunters be required to carry their licenses as always. In addition, hunters are not permitted to use lead bullets. Just guns?
Aye! Then the motion to raise our salaries passes. Hehehe. Ain't nobody gonna notice.
Ain't them Kobolds like those fatty devil things with no brains, whatcha-call-ems? Or are they like those funny Goblins, and do they have dog heads or lizard heads? I wish ya'll'd stop wafflin' on y'alls positions. The motion on Kobold hunting passes, unless somebody wants to tack on a rider bill. Personally, I'd like to raise all of our salaries again. All in favor?
Quiet you, I was just beneath my podium with one of the intern... I mean by myself. The motion above is carried we set the vote for this moment! All in favor, say "Teter".
Free Pizza I am in!! Calling now. Where you want it? St. Louie?Why don't you have it delivered to my personal intern grotto beneath the foyer. Last one there has to give Vomit Guy a sponge bath. I wish yall wouldn't walk through it. Y'all are burning spots into the wax of the floor with yall's foot steps.
Free Pizza I am in!! Calling now. Where you want it? St. Louie? Why don't you have it delivered to my personal intern grotto beneath the foyer. Last one there has to give Vomit Guy a sponge bath.
I will have order in this here senate! As in, somebody get on the phone and order me a large meat lover's stuffed crust before them ten dollar deals go over at the end of the month. If anybody else wants one, it's on the esteemed lobbyist from Haliburton over yonder. *waves*
want some Moore? Somebody get this man uh bucket.
...Bailiff, do we got them big smashy rocks in the Bosphorus set up yet?... No canoe capsizin'? No raft rippin'?No outrigger reconfigure? Dang. What a waste of taxpayer money. Keep paying for it until somebody comes up with something less convenient and more asanine. Nobody 'ill notice. |
