Morty, the Littlest Otyugh's page

Barry zucked corn and I don't care,
Chompy zucked corn, I still don't care,
Santa Monkey zucked corn and he is great,
TAKE THAT YOU STUPID CORN!

{flees when kudzu nibbles back}

{nibbles kudzu}

This usually takes a lot of time (alot of time? *scribble-scribble*) on GOG Galaxy.

If I was writing nuWho, I'd have the Alot of Time team up with the new 13th Doctor.

{quietly continues to hump cushion that fell behind the sofa}

Drive-Thru McDonald's To Offer "Refreshing" Iced McEnema's Beginning In Summer 2018
Starbucks files patent for version of kopi luwak internally-fermented by customer in line ahead of you

Have you ever looked for your favorite whisk and given up and used your least favorite whisk. And then after using your least favorite whisk for nearly the whole time, you need a whisk to give it a fresh whisk and you just grab one from somewhere without thinking and suddenly you have your favorite whisk in your hand.

So you've leveled up and just gained access to Whiskspace?

If it was Whiskyspace, you'd have an incredible superpower.

Kobold Cleaver wrote:

Scythia wrote:

Looks like the future that was determined was that of the thread itself?

I can see it now:

The Democratic Party has been locked. Folks, personal attacks like this are not acceptable...

Confused Stoner.jpg

What if personal attacks were used as a reason to lock the electoral process?
:P

Even More Confused Stoner.jpg

What if your car's key fob works by insulting the car doors until they lock?

I have heard that Freehold DM is going out dressed as Joss Whedon. Or is it Alton Brown? It is one of them.

Why not both: a brundlefly'ed/Cronenberged Jaltoss Whedown (telepod not included)?

Wait... is this thread about the kobold's exit, or is it about what exits the kobold?

Waaaaiiit, hold on,

[dice=Perception]1d20 + 15
I figured out the kobold's trap...he is shoveling so much $#!+ we'll all buried alive in it. But we won't care or notice because of all the "compliments".

No, no, dung beetles build traps of poop. The easiest way to tell the difference is dung beetles are taller than kobolds.

I kid because I can.

...or because I'm an !sshole.

{excitedly watches swashbuckling while holding two-decade-old Jiffy Pop foil pan near Flaming posts, unrealistically hopeful it will soon make popcorn}

Mini-blitz over.

{punches and bites "father"} I blame Cosmo you won't let me be a princess! You taste worse than gug poop!

{"father" and "daughter" engage in angry slapping bout}

{scratches blonde wig, squirms in "princess" dress} I, the lovely princess, blame Cosmo that the adventure writer gave me no lines of dialogue.

Otyughs in trash compactors.

Why think small? We could have our own garbage scows, in regular routes right near the major stellar traffic lanes. Before a ship leaves a system, or as the come in, just dock for a bit and empty your holding tanks. While you're waiting, catch up on the latest gossip in the solar system!

Pulg wrote:

All crumhorns are used. Crumhorns can neither be created nor destroyed. Crumhorns have existed eternally and will continue to exist indefinitely. There are no new crumhorns

However, this crumhorn appears to be much larger than normal, is bright pink, vibrates alarmingly and has a... thing... there

And another ...thing... there

And two more ...things... there, which appear to be for ornamentation only.

Lastly, although crumhorns are of great help in most marriages, of course, I have never heard of one described as such before. What a conundrum!

So, it isn't a crumhorn, but a "we don't know what it is but we like it"?

Maybe it's a plumbus?

...Another severely smelly table at the shop last Saturday. One of the players at my table threatened to go to the dollar store next door, buy deodorant, and hand it out to people.

WTF is wrong with people? Showers take like five minutes! This is Florida, and it's ALREADY hot again, how are people not self aware and capable of basic minimum grooming?

It might not be the sole cause, but diet can have a lot to do with it too. I knew a dude like this; he wasn't eating nearly enough fresh fruits and veggies, and he were hydrating themselves almost solely on Diet Dew. It took a few high DC Diplomacy checks by me and his sister to convince him to eat and drink better. The sister also persuaded him to try taking chlorophyllin supplements. The combination seemed to work very well (along with the usual showers and deodorant), but then again, it's only a sample size of one.

This is why there are otyughs in dungeons.

Or mini-otyughs, if you're on a budget.

Well, whatever you do in that thread, KC, be certain about it. Otherwise you might be split into alternate parallel selves, each alt-KC trapped with an alt-version of ungrateful nephew and niece, unable to re-sync with your alternate selves, and eventually attracting the attention of 5th dimension time enforcement testicle monsters officers.

If he wasn't sleeping, he'd be chewing on me.

{quietly nibbles on sleeping Bleached Otyugh}

26. Dyer Spiders: These dark violet and scarlet Diminutive relatives of peacock jumping spiders are well known for their curiosity of humanoids, often happily hopping aboard a passerby to investigatively explore. While incapable of physically harming humanoids, they are often an irritation to the image conscious, as their meandering explorations leave teeny vibrant streaks across gear, apparel, and skin from the constant prestidigitation effect emanating from the claws on their legs.

Liz Courts wrote:

j b 200 wrote:

JJ moves to Hollywood to head up Paizo Productions a la Gygax in the 1980s.

That...didn't turn out so well for Gygax, so let's hope not.

Preferably, this happens in a way that TSR (later WotC) DIDN'T do, so that Paizo succeeds where TSR/WotC fumbled, and then we both get a good movie (as opposed to, you know . . .) and the Pathfinder brand receives widespread recognition.

OK, I can't stand to see you all suffer so, NDA-be-damned, I'm gonna spill:

Paizo is working on a Pathfinder-based Saturday morning cartoon, starring Kobold Cleaver and his ragtag band of misfit adventurers. As unicorns (& pegacorns & Mabelcorns) are now Unionized and Sebasticorns are too expensive, I myself was chosen as the budget-minded party sidekick.

I would like a regular for-pay module centered on kobold PCs; if it's a Free RPG Day entry, that'd be even better. Who wouldn't enjoy blowing off steam pretending to be a party of pint-sized dragons for a game with friends? (We Be Wee Dragons?)

And why couldn't the gang of kobolds have discovered an abandoned pirate ship, repaired it, and take to the high seas as kobold pirates? (We Be Wee Pyre-ates?)

Ack! Time to hop to it, KC! Classes are out and excuses are done!

{shakes tiny pom-poms} GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO K C! Yay! Wooo!

Say "Hi" to Dr. Xenon Bloom for me, and make sure you visit the Pirates of the Pancreas attraction.

If you want a noncombat encounter or two, perhaps there's a friendly otyugh cluster down there?

Pygmy otyughs even.

OTYUGHS EAT ANYTHINGS! WE HUNGRIES!!!

*eats Morty*

This isn't so bad. The line to get in to see the Pirates of the Pancreas is longer than I expected though.

Morty, the Littlest Otyugh wrote:

Cloak and dagger2 wrote:

And being able to deal with the knowledge you're chewing on a kobold baby

Nah, you're not eating kobold babies in a shell; they're unfertilized ova. ... a better analogy would be you're eating the kobold mama's periods in a shell. Yummy!

The question is, is Pharasma okay with it?

I'm sure she's fine with eating all types of eggs. Except century eggs, 'cause they're undead.

And being able to deal with the knowledge you're chewing on a kobold baby

Nah, you're not eating kobold babies in a shell; they're unfertilized ova. ... a better analogy would be you're eating the kobold mama's periods in a shell. Yummy!

You cannot eat kobold eggs.

Just...want to make sure we're clear on that.

Sure you can; it just takes a very strong stomach. A dash of hot sauce or wasabi is nice on top.