"Ooh! Did someone turn into an animal? I turned into a oxcart once! Well it wasn't really an oxcart, but I did pull a desk from Shelton to Culver City! Though I'm not sure why I did that."
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"Smell? All you giants smell the same to me. When I'm dirty I just do this." Jimpy casts Prestidigitation and the dirt and smell sloughs off him like water off a platypus' back.
Leaning conversationally over to the other halfling, Jimpy smiles. "I'd go through his stuff too, but I already have a lucky human toe." He reaches into his pocket and pulls out something that could be a large shriveled toe or it could be an overly large raisin. Jimpy looks at it lovingly then tucks it away.
"I'm Jimpy! Jimpy Ashetongue!"
"Hey! You're properly sized and that guy just shot himself then cut his own throat open! Is that a new way to say hello? Does he want to be reincarnated as a badger, 'cause I like badgers and they're fun to be around and a badger that could fire bolts of fire would be awesome and fun and probably taste like chicken cause most things taste like chicken except children who taste like young chicken!"
"Hey! It's a properly sized person! And they're playing with lizards! I want to play, too!" Cast Magic Missile: at one of the living lizards
"And anything dangerous is interesting! Let's go see!" Jimpy dashes into the forest to see what new and interesting things are happening.
Jimpy stands on his tiptoes to look at the runes, "Ooo! This island can move? And to the Beastlands? I went to the Beastlands once, or was that the Fruitlands? Everything was made of fruit and the fruit talked and the fruit was so mad when I ate their fruit babies and then I set fire to the fruit church and the fruit orphanage and the fruit monastery and the fruit poorhouse and the fruit zoo and the fruit cementary. Undead fruit is cool! They run around and growl and go RRRRRR and eat fruit children and knock over fruit carts and fruit horses and fruit unicorns and fruit harpies and fruit yrthaks and fruit kobolds and fruit dragons. Wait! Those weren't fruit! Those were people!" Forehead slap, "I always get that wrong!"
I'm around, just busy with RPG Superstar at the moment. I'll be back to posting more soon!
Maybe the dingos ate our dwarfy?
Spot:
I live!!!!
"Ooo! Caves, I like caves! I found a dragon in a cave once! Well it wasn't really a dragon it was a dragon shaped rock, but it looked like a dragon and it had really big teeth and really big claws and it tried to set my hair on fire and told me that it wanted its money back and that it would follow me to the end of the earth and eat my head and it stole my wallet and gave me some sort of rash. Wait, maybe that wasn't a dragon. Oh right, now I remember! It was my first girlfriend! She had pretty eyes...." Jimpy seems to lose himself for a moment, then snaps back with a "Ooo! Butterflies!"
"Yep, some of the people here like to eat people. And there are big lizards and underground cities and cannibals, though no halflings have tried to eat me yet so I guess they're not really cannibals since you have to be the same species and I'm not and I haven't eaten any halflings so I'm not a cannibal but I guess if I ate a human I wouldn't be a cannibal either so maybe it's not so bad to eat humans and dwarfs and elves and monkeys, though not monkeys because they're cool and they can climb trees and swing from branches and throw poo and I wish I could throw poo but I can only throw fire and burn things and they don't like it when you burn things here which is too bad since they make a lovely sight when they burn, things that is, not poo or monkeys."
"Oooo! Look, Barak! A tiger and ladies! Which one would you choose? I'd choose the tiger because tigers are big and eat people and like chocolate and birds and I like birds and chocolate and eating people too!" Jimpy the dino-riding halfling surges forward on his racing dinosaur and begins waving wildly at the new group. "Oh! Hello! Can I pet your tiger? Does it eat people? Does it like wearing bandanas and sugary cereals and promoting a corporate agenda in the name of childhood memories? Are you wild people? Do you wear pants? I used to not wear pants but then I got thrown in jail where they like you a little too much if you don't wear pants, so now I wear pants and burn people who get excited like that at the sight of me without pants!"
Spot:
"Ooo, let's go find the new people! Do you think they're flammable? Most people are if you apply enough fire!" Jimpy will look into the air and fire a scorching ray into the air, aiming for a passing bird or bat or moon.
"Ooo! New people! Hiding in the trees? Are they monkey people? I had a monkey once, he wore a little sailor suit and danced for peanuts. I like peanuts. They're small, crunchy, and taste great! Almost as good as monkeys! Where are they?"
Waiting for a hook. Considering setting fire to the dwarf.
"What happened to the part where we make friends with the savage lizard kings?!? My plan was so much better and totally involved more eating people." Jimpy is quiet for a moment. "I hereby declare muself Lizard King of the Island of Big Lizards with Big Roars and People Who Don't Like it When You Set Fire To Their Granaries!"
Jimpy looks at the small mewling lizard that periodically peeks out from Barrak's bag. "Crazy? Me? I don't know what you're talking about! Now let's ride our lizards while holding the baby of the really angry and deadly lizards who will chase us while taunting them with the cries of their baby! WHEEEEEEE!"
"Oh yeah! Fluffy Bunny here can outrun the wind and death itself! And if it doesn't I can blast them my mind!"
"I like my gourd idea better! And we all get to be friends in the end!"
"Because if we give them back the egg they will also want whoever took it in the first place, and since no one wants to die in the jaws of a carnosaur, no one will say they did it. If they take it back, and destroy some of our home in the process, they tend to leave without eating someone." "Why don't we make friends with them? Maybe if we gave them a snack? I mean, there's got to be some people around here that no one likes, right? Or maybe a really large hollow gourd? With people inside! And when the lizards get here, they jump out and shout BOOO! and the lizards will go "Ahhh!" and then we'll all laugh and be friends!"
Jimpy looks confused. "Then why don't you just give them back their baby?"
"Hey Barrak! Do you know where the hatchery is? Cause it sounds like there's gonna be a LOT of fun there soon!"
Too late. Jimpy is already riding his dino-mount to the Hatchery!
"Can you turn back time and stop an egg from hatching? Someone, we do not know who, managed to sneak into Agartha's Hatchery with an egg. Normally that isn't a big deal, people bring eggs in all the time. But this egg is different from the ones we keep. It was a Rex egg, belonging to one of the largest carnivores on the island, and now it has hatched here." "Really?!? It's big! How big? Can I pet it? Does it like to play fetch? Can it give me a ride? Can I attach wands to its head so it can shoot fire from its eyes? Is that a cake? Let's go! Which way is the Hatchery?"
"Ooo! Ooo! Ooo! Why's everyone running? Is it a party? Is it a race? I bet I can win!"
"Barrak! Guess what? I think my lizard can fly! It just needs to get high enough! Is there a tower here? We can totally go flying together! I'll get you a lizard and we can fly around the valley and chase rats and bugs and butterflies! Oh and did I tell you? Beer CAN burn! And it makes the prettiest color flames!"
"Barrack! Watch this!" Jimpy folds himself over the back of his lizardy mount, gives the lizard a good running start and vaults it over Barrack's head. Or at least that's the idea... "Wheeeeeee!"
Barrak, after checking out his quarters, follows the directions to the brewery. After the boat ride and all the time spent out in the open, it felt good again to not be able to see the sky and be surrounded by stone. As he travels he takes careful note of his surroundings in case he needs to make a quick exit. His last encounter with a strange settlement had ended with him in chains after all and he wasn't planning on repeating that mistake. Still despite his caution he couldn't help but feel relaxed within the confines of the mountain. "Hey Barrak! Look, they gave me a lizard and his name is Tinderbox, but 'I am not supposed to set fire to him or anything in the city that is not already in a firepit or shortly scheduled to be in one upon penalty of death or prosecution or exile or marriage.' Least I think that's what they said. Did you find your beer? Is it good? Does it taste like sticks? Or does it taste like berries? I like berries! They pop when you squeeze them! Just like beetles! I like beetles too! Is that a hammer?"
"Ooo. I bet they're even better with a feathers and paint! I'll get some paint!" "So I can have one? Really? Whoo hoo! I'm going to name it Tinderbox! Me and Tinder'll ride all over the island, meeting new people and solving crimes!"
"Ooo. I bet they're even better with a feathers and paint! I'll get some paint!"
"So, do you have a dance hall here? Cause I can dance! And I can make fireworks, too, big pretty ones and small flashy ones and ones that go HSSSSHHH! and explode all over the sky! Can I ride your big riding lizards, the ones with horns and wings and tails and teeth and claws and pretty pretty stripes?"
Hot damn!
"Ooo, do you have dinosaurs here that you ride? Do you have giant walking metal men who fight the dinosaurs? Can I have a pony? Can I have a dinosaur pony with wings and fire breath and sparkly horns and hoofs and a saddle and named Buttercup?"
"I could help with the brewery! They need wood, right? I can burn down trees, they falls like this <pantomime tree crashing> BOOM! And they make such a lovely smell when they burn..."
"My head is on fire? Really? Fire hurts a lot less than I've been told by all those judges and constables!"
"Ooo! This is neat! Is it old? Are there rabbits here? Who's in charge? Can I be in charge? I think we ought to invade Peru!"
I'm gonna go with Warlock, if that's okay. Any houserules that I should know about? Don't wear anything flamable. The halfling might attempt to set you on fire. It's nothing personal, it's what he does.
"Yes! Definitely we will! It's always more fun to say yes! And why do you look at Ayla like that? Do you know her? Are you secretly related? Maybe she's your evil twin? Perhaps she has a strange birthmark that only gnomes can see? Is she invisible? Am I invisible?"
Spot: 1d20-1=14 "Ooh, are you insects? Is the butterfly your friend? Are those bows handmade? Do you like puppies? I like fire! Burn, burn, burn, that's me! Who're you?"
Join! Join! We need more people to act as bait, I mean, players!
Jimpy wanders after the butterfly, hurrying now and then to catch up to the brightly colored insect. "Hey guys! I think it's headed toward that hill. Or maybe it's looking for a friend! I had a friend once who exploded! Do you think the butterfly will explode? I saw an explosion once! Well, I actually caused it. It made a friend of mine explode. It was pretty."
Jimpy looks longingly toward the tree line. "Do you think there are more things like the little thing we ate, maybe big things that we could ride or train to do tricks or teach sign language or set fire or BUTTERFLY!" Seeing a brightly colored insect, Jimpy runs off into the trees, following it.
"Ooh, a spitting lizard? That would be really keen! And I'd love to set fire to whatever needs burning. I do so like the fires. When they dance..."
"Hmm." Jimpy watches the flock of little lizards scatter back into the trees. "Do you think they make good pets?" "I guess we could try to leave, but swimming looks like a bad idea. Maybe if we made a boat? Or a dirigible!"
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