Likewise. I'd been meaning to get a PS update in but work decided to ramp up.
I'm aiming for tomorrow though since I have the day off!
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Poog isn't threatened by the fire, he thinks there's entirely too little fire! Stepping back from the chicken, he spreads his palms and releases a jet of flames at Big Bird.
"Yeah! Put Chief down!" Poog spits into his hand, trying to wipe the dust out of his eyes. He advances on the bird, taking out his short sword. "Poog not very good with weapon, but stab is stab, right?"
"No leave. Ancient goblin proverb say best way fight fire, use more fire!" Poog bounces on his feet, ignoring the fire and instead launching another fire bolt at McChicken Deluxe.
"Want honey garlic wing for the road or extra spicy? Hard choice. Poog cook while goblins decide." Whipping his head back Poog tosses some fire at the overgrown chicken.
"You hear that Squealy? We gonna have chicken for dinner!" Poog nudges his boar friend. "Poog start with most important fire, like this." Throwing his hand back, the goblin launches a fire bolt at the mad chicken.
"Guys, Nord says big mean ogre live here! Also he has fiery spear. You think what I think, Reta?" Poog rubs his hands together as if crafting a daring plan. "Imagine you ride into battle atop new, bigger Squealy Nord, carry flaming spear like lance! Joust longshanks to death!" He's beside himself with excitement for some time, but when he does finally manage to calm down, Poog stays back and peeks over Reta's shoulder.
"One day Squealy Nord grow bigger and you able to ride him, Chief Reta," Poog whacks the boar on the rump. "Until then he serve Birdcrunchers as minion." He stalks ahead with Chuffy on his muddy tiptoes.
"Squealy Nord now our friend!" Poog cheers. "Not sure about other small pig, she went to sleep now. But Nord says let's go get mean ogres, so let's go!"
"It is the Squealy Nord, Poog swear!" Poog hops around, eager to do something. "Come, we wake him up!"
"oOOoOoOOooh!" Poog's eyes light up as if he just saw Zarongel himself. He relays the message to Chuffy, Mogmurch, and Reta. "Legendary Boar Squealy Nord is here! We have to help and he help us after!"
"We be goblins and we come in peace! Join goblin tribe and we ride you into battle against enemy boars! You breathe fire, Poog *make* fire!" Poog oinks. "Oh, we looking for an ogre. Have you seen him?"
"Oooh, is this boar butt? Poog try to say hi!" Poog squints at the hole in the barge and tries to talk to the... butt.
"Hmm. Not get it. What Chuffy mean?" Poog whispers as he stalks ahead, closer to Chuffy, hoping to get a better look.
"No worry friend Chuffy, if bees or nasty dogs, Poog set on fire. Bees look like fireworks when on fire!" The dastardly goblin follows the others, as quietly as he can.
"Use wand, chief say," Poog dabs Reta with the booger-covered stick, "Reta look much better now, but Poog also pretty beat up. Bad, bad pig. Next time, Poog try to talk to pig and make friend. Then, like Reta say, we ride!"
After curing his own wounds, Poog has a look at the necklace.
"Stab, stab, and FIRE!" Poog launches another fire bolt at the pig, hoping to roast it on the end of Chuffy's dogslicer.
"Boar not listen to Poog. Leave Poog no choice but to help goblin heroes and stop with fire! For Chief Reta!" Snapping his fingers, Poog launches a fire bolt at the boar.
"Something stink, and this time it NOT POOG!" Holding his hands up, he gets ready to summon up some of Zarongel's fiery power.
Readied Action:
"Oh? Wand help people when poisoned?" Poog is surprised for a moment when Reta tells him about the goods. "Poog's turds must have made stick magical! Ooooh! Nice! Wanna sniff?" He happily dons the necklace of fireballs as well, eager to tear off one of the glowing beads toss them at some ogres and pigs. The next day, Poog rejoins the heroes but stays at the back of the party. "Poog not good at wilderness, prefer to follow. Maybe Moggy knows way?"
"What if even better tribe exist than Birdcruncher though?" Poog wonders to Chuffy. "Oops. Maybe not say too loud, or we make them mad, and Poog all out of fire." He promptly finds a seat in the mud and starts looking over the shinies.
He holds the wand up as if he'd just found the most priceless artifact. "Oooh, stick used to scoop out brown nuggets. Make bathroom time more easier," he insists, pantomiming how it may be done. "But cloak is lame, longshanks with pointy ears wear it. Make you hide better. Not need it."
"We is all Chiefs!" Poog cheers for Reta. "Maybe it serve Poog right, trying to steal kill. Still, game is game. Poog would do it again if had chance!"
"Poog had enough! Time to leave slow cooker!" Poog sloshes through as quickly as he can and leaps out of the stew smelling of all sorts of nastiness.
"BAD BIRD! BAD!" Poog scowls. "Hate you almost as much as horse. Horsechopper no good. Need new weapon called.. umm.. Birdcruncher. Oh wait! Maybe that why we do this dare... Ooooh...!" His eyes wide as if he just understood the meaning of life, Poog throws an entranced stab at the eagle.
"Legend says goblin are actually tossed into stew after born, cooking juice gives good strength! Grow up big and strong!" Poog is all too happy to be part of the ingredients of the stew. He almost doesn't want to win!
"So close! SO CLOSE!" Poog pouts, tossing off his boots just as Chuffy does. "Poog used up most of fires too. Next challenge better not need magics."
Poog will spend each round moving his spiritual weapon as necessary, and then having it attack, starting with green, then blue.
"Poog only killsteal because we is friends. Think Poog's kill is everyone's kill! Poog swear!" Honest or not, Poog tries to apply some solid goblin-logic to his misdeed. He then does a weird jig on the plank. Suddenly, a translucent dogslicer appears in the air right next to green!
Unfortunately, it misses - big time!
"NoooOooOoooo!" Poog cries as the stirge (probably) falls before he can killsteal it. He takes out a javelin and whips it at green instead, hoping for an easy, quick kill!
Blowing smoke off his index finger, Poog launches the final fire bolt in supply, aiming for yellow - and hoping for a killsteal! "Sorry friend Chuffy, Poog need to come back with victory after gull game!"
I don't find it boring, but maybe that's because Poog cheated from the start. :)
Poog brings forth yet another firebolt, but notices that it's visibly weaker. "Poog running out of fire... May need use fist soon... Not good! Pray to Zarongel for big strong mean fire to burn bug! Feed ashes to Dogfinder!"
Poog blows the smoke off his index finger. "Fire always solve all problems!" He aims again at a stirge, this time the cyan buzzing just in front of him, and lobs another fire bolt.
"Stomp of Longshank, huh? Poog try that too, maybe next time. For now Poog make FIRE!" He again launches another firebolt, hopefully more damaging this time, at the nearest stirge.
Then continues waddling along the plank.
Poog finishes his boog-blessing with a confused look on his face. "Why walk to stirge when can just burn them? Hehehe!" He points a finger at the tiny maroon-eyed creature, launching a small bolt of fire at it.
Afterwards, he waddles towards the plank with his big clunky longshank boots.
Poog's blood boils with frustration. He knows he hasn't scored a single point yet! He launches a dozen arrows into where the thinks the last gull is, but like any goblin machine gun, not a single one hits.
Poog mentally digs deep behind his blindfold, trying to enter a meditative trance and hear only the cawing of the gulls. He aims his bow as he rotates 360 degrees on one foot. "Not there... not there... THERE!" But he's a goblin after all, and his meditation is easily broken by the noisy Birdcrunchers, causing him to again miss.
His eyes widened on the crown, Poog slurps up the rest of his seagull soup and throws the bowl aside. "Hmm, not fair only one crown, we is all goblin heroes! Maybe form goblin stack and put crown on top?"
"Come to Poog, new bird crunch friends," Poog beckons for some of the newly met goblins to come near him, likely to mixed success.
"Form circle, and Poog tell story of goblin heroes, Zarongel and bravery and horse chopping and .. and... FIREWORK EXPLODING.." His little hands spread above his head, Poog pantomimes the explosion for an absurd amount of time. Then he continues to explain the goblins' trials thus far, animating the tale with his body. "Then drop firework down chimney and BOOM!"
"Hmph!" Poog seems awfully agitated as he stomps his way into the cave. "Poog rather lick toads than crunch birds, but here we is. Rest of heroes here, at least," tossing a thumbs up at Reta, Mogmurch, and Chuffy, Poog plants himself in the ground and begins digging through his face in search of today's quota of nostril treasures. "Oooh, this one juicy, maybe this is Chieftain Moot?"
Chronicles look good! They really amped up Poog's crazy/evil factor in the artwork of those pregens. Love it.
"Zarongel save Poog..." The defeated goblin cries as he's dragged away in the not-so-tender grasp of the 'Princess'.
No changes on Poog's side either. Come to think of it, I don't even know if I'll ever play the PC I'm applying the chronicles to, I'm just in this for the goblin craziness!
"Bestest goblins of all the lands, Poog say! Now Poog gather up more of Zarongel's blessings for next journey, where Poog even more strong!" The goblin tries to sneak a desnan candle away for his own keeping and may even get away with it!
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