Goblins Grow up So Fast! (We Be Goblins Too!) (Inactive)

Game Master Massee

"Heeeey! That's killsteal!" Reta frowns as Poog gets credit for the kill she set up.

She sighs and aims at Black. There is no eye in teem, she thinks.

Shortbow: 1d20 + 8 ⇒ (3) + 8 = 11
Arrow'd: 1d4 ⇒ 1

"Poog only killsteal because we is friends. Think Poog's kill is everyone's kill! Poog swear!" Honest or not, Poog tries to apply some solid goblin-logic to his misdeed.

He then does a weird jig on the plank.

Suddenly, a translucent dogslicer appears in the air right next to green!
Cast Spiritual Weapon

Attack!: 1d20 + 4 ⇒ (1) + 4 = 5

Unfortunately, it misses - big time!

Chuffy nicks a purple scented skeeter with a bolt and reloads, seeing his supply of bolts dwindle.

Mogmurch struggles to pull himself out of the mud, the oversized boots quickly claimed by the sucking mudflat.

Reta misses.

Poog summons in the power of Zarongel in the form of a ghostly sword. Zargonel seems to prefer fire..

The party is up!

Round 8-10!

Chuffy
Mogmurch -3 CON Damage (Disqualified!)
Reta -2 CON Damage
Poog
---
Purple -1

Party Buffs: Nil

Environmental Conditions: -2 Acrobatics from Boots. DC7 Acrobatics to balance on planks. If you fail you waste that move action but can try again with a second move action. Stirges are buzzing around angrily on strings.

Last three rounds of actions posted in one post and we'll wrap this up and move on to the final dare! Be sure to include tactics if any: kill sniping, closest, farthest from others, etc.

Stirge Stomp!

SCORE BOARD:
Reta - 6 (-2 CON)
Poog - 7
Chuffy - 5
Mogmurch - 1 (4 damage)(-3 CON)

"Time for Chuffy's great come...great, um...great...time for Chuffy to do gooder at last second and win!"

Chuffy takes aim at Purple again...

Hand Crossbow vs. Purple: 1d20 + 7 ⇒ (15) + 7 = 22
Damage: 1d3 ⇒ 3

...and then spends the last two rounds of the contest either trying to finish off Purple or trying to kill-steal from his fellow gobbies, reloading as necessary.

Hand Crossbow: 1d20 + 7 ⇒ (3) + 7 = 10
Damage: 1d3 ⇒ 3

Hand Crossbow: 1d20 + 7 ⇒ (6) + 7 = 13
Damage: 1d3 ⇒ 3
______________

That should leave Chuffy with 4 bolts at the end of the contest.

Reta lets the force guide her aim. The force of the smelly wind someone let loose downwind of her.

Reta will try to finish Black. Then she'll keep aiming at the closest Stirge until they tell her to stop.

Shortbow: 1d20 + 8 ⇒ (18) + 8 = 26
Arrow'd: 1d4 ⇒ 3

Shortbow: 1d20 + 8 ⇒ (11) + 8 = 19
Arrow'd: 1d4 ⇒ 2

Shortbow: 1d20 + 8 ⇒ (8) + 8 = 16
Arrow'd: 1d4 ⇒ 3

Poog will spend each round moving his spiritual weapon as necessary, and then having it attack, starting with green, then blue.

Spiritual Weapon: 1d20 + 4 ⇒ (5) + 4 = 91d8 ⇒ 2
Spiritual Weapon: 1d20 + 4 ⇒ (12) + 4 = 161d8 ⇒ 7
Spiritual Weapon: 1d20 + 4 ⇒ (16) + 4 = 201d8 ⇒ 3

Round 8! Chuffy starts off with a follow up bolt to purple, it flies around seriously wounded but NOT DEAD YET! Reta stick an arrow into black but it too keeps buzzing and tugging on its tether. A cruel game from its point of view. Poog has his own ideas, directing his spiritual dogslicer to chop up green but Zarongel's aim is off so far.

Round 9! Chuffy desperately keeps trying to shoot down the wounded purple stirge but his fingers keep slipping on the trigger, throwing off his aim. Reta has no such problems, shooting down her injured black stirge with a smooth load, draw, fire! Poog also seems to get the hang of swinging a ghostly, out of body sword, cutting the green stirge's wings off with one stroke. "Two points REEEEED, two points ORRREaNNGE!" Screams out Mummy to the crowd.

Final Round, 10! The pressure is on and the pressure gets to Chuffy. His final shot flies off into the mud past the barely alive purple stirge. A moment later it crashes into the mud while Reta blows him a kiss. SNIPED. Poog redirects his sword to blue and takes off three legs but not quite enough to finish the deed. "TWO POINTS REEEED! Game OVER!" Hoots Mummy as she stands back up and tallies the colored rocks for the challengers.

SCORE BOARD:
Reta - 10 (-2 CON)
Poog - 9
Chuffy - 5
Mogmurch - 1 (4 damage)(-3 CON)

Lots of stuff going on here this weekend so I'll hopefully get the next dare going tonight or Monday morning. Feel free to interact with the crowd and amongst yourselves. One last dare to go today.

"Nerts..." Chuffy scowls as he puts away his little hand crossbow. "Stupid bloodsuckers move too much! Chuffy should've just stomped 'em after all."

Noticing one of the goblin whelps pointing and laughing, Chuffy's scowl deepens and he takes one of the oversized longshank boots off and chucks it at the offender.

"What you laughing at!?"
______________

No worries GM; I'll be out and about for a fair portion of the day myself.

Mogmurch scrambles back ashore after his humiliating defeat here, glaring at any other goblin who would even think about suggesting he retrieve the longshank footwear.

In a horses' EYE!

Still muttering under his breath he watches the rest of the contest with slitted eyes here, calculating just where we went wrong here.

Me be overconfident, like the longshanks who slaughter us every day! Must watch that, me show dem ALL! More dan one way to skin horse! He chuckles evilly under his breath.

OK ready to get back to this!

"Whew. Steal kill feels good." She stretches and holsters her longbow. "How I do!" She gets the score and scratches her head. "Uh... is that good?"

She moves to the other heroes. "So, did you win?"

"Mogmurch, take mud bath later. We need to do hero stuff now."

"So close! SO CLOSE!" Poog pouts, tossing off his boots just as Chuffy does. "Poog used up most of fires too. Next challenge better not need magics."

After the dare is called and the challengers back on dry land, there are a few goblins that take the time to cheer on their favorites, jeer their rivals, and shrink away from sore losers. "One last dare left. Most dangerous and most amazing dare... you'll see, follow me!" An overly friendly goblin lass with a big round nose says, waving the four prospective chief's back towards the big cave.

As you all approve the cave a stink of rotten meat and spoiled milk wafts around your noses. The scent comes from a horrific “pie” that’s been created in a 10-foot-diameter bowl-shaped depression in the rock—the bowl is only 18 inches deep, but filled with a nasty, not-quite-boiling-hot slurry of spoiled milk, mud, swamp water, mashed-up grass, and dead birds. The top is covered over with an incongruously delicious- and flaky looking pie crust. Several cauldrons of boiling pie filling sit nearby, along with a number of large, dented metal funnels. Four goblin sized birds, still alive, screech loudly nearby in cages.

Wise Mummy Sprattleharsh explains "The giant birdmeat pie is still baking, and you chieftains-in-waiting will all be tied up and placed in the pie to cook." She smiles and nods like this is a normal, everyday procedure. "Why are you looking at me funny? You can carry and wear all of your stuff in this dare, you gonna need it to help get out right? The first goblin to make it out of the pie earns 10 points. The second goblin earns 5 points. The third earns 3 points. Any contestants after the third earn no points at all." She smiles and nods, looking at each goblin with her oversized eyes, making sure they know what they're in for. "Last chance to get ready then we tie up and in you go!"

Feel free to prep yourselves, healing, etc. There has been no offers of healing seen or heard from the Birdcruncher Tribe so use what you've got if you need it! I'll fire up the dare this evening after you've had a chance to prep as you see fit, and ask questions.

Escaping Bonds: A goblin has the grappled condition as long as her hands and feet are tied. A successful DC 18 Strength check or DC 22 Escape Artist check is needed to break free of the bonds—both are standard actions to attempt. A free goblin can untie another goblin’s bonds automatically as a standard action.

The Pie: The pie filling is quite hot, and as the contents slosh out, the goblins add fresh boiling foulness to the pie via the dented funnels. Each round a creature remains in the pie, it must succeed at a DC 10 Fortitude save or take 1 point of fire damage.

Knowledge Nature DC 11: 1d20 + 8 ⇒ (10) + 8 = 18

"Egglees? How dey git egglees in da pot? Mogmurch looks down into the bowl with a distinctly unhappy, almost droopy, look on his face. "Me not like this..."

Thinking quickly he decides to perform a subterfuge here. Before the goblin lass binds his hands he surreptiously slips a vial into one of his hands. "Dis do da trick against the bonds! Mogmurch play smarteer...not hardeer!"

Mogmurch will use SoH to secrete a vial of acid in his hand. Then He can use it to free himself :) Sleight of Hand: 1d20 + 8 ⇒ (17) + 8 = 25

"Those eagles? Look...DELICIOUS..." Chuffy drools as he stares at the enormous caged birds. "But next dare to just get out of rope? Easy-peasy! Chuffy master at getting out of tight spots," he grins, puffing out his chest in a typical display of goblin bravado.

Reta takes a deep breath. She doesn't like this at all. She checks her gear.

Drops off the meathook. Then the dogslicer. Then the shortbow. And the bridal veil. And the jar of pickled halfling toes.

Keep the caterpillars for good luck.

She gulps, waits for the goblins to bind her, and they toss her right in.

"Legend says goblin are actually tossed into stew after born, cooking juice gives good strength! Grow up big and strong!" Poog is all too happy to be part of the ingredients of the stew. He almost doesn't want to win!

The goblins get ready for what looks like a hot bath in tonight's dinner. Mogmurch has a sneaky look on his face as he holds his hands out to be tied, even if he is nervous. Chuffy and Poog both apparently live for this s+#$, happy to finally get a hot bath. While Reta starts leaving some of her most prized possessions on the ground, just in case they get ruined. Or, maybe they'll be keepsakes for the others to remember her by?

All the goblins hands and feet are bound by old shoe laces and bailing twine. Other goblins pour a bit more hot gravy into the pie through the dented funnels to make sure its nice and hot. A few more goblins drag the eagle's cages over to the edge of the pie and release the clasps, dumping four angry birds into the pie just after Mummy throws down a loud thunderstone. "Go!"

As the birds go into the pie, so do our four chief's in training. One by one they plop into the slop with the four angry eagles, everyone struggling to get their wits about them. Dang, its hot!

"Oh, Mummy not mention earlier..." She gives a bit of a childish grin "Birds going in with you. If you kill bird when in pie you get 5 points. Maybe not best to get out of pie fastest, who know? May best orange goblin win!" I think we all know who she's got her money on.

So just to reiterate if I haven't mentioned it already: The pie is basically a 10'x10' block. Assume all eagles and goblins are in reach. Everyone is squeezing. -4 to AC and -4 to hit. All goblins are bound hands and feet. You only need to succeed at one str check or escape artist check to free yourself from both bonds as a standard action. Or one of your goblin friends can free you automatically with their standard action (even if they are still bound). You've got to weigh getting out of the pie first vs killing eagles vs survival.

Combat post coming right up. Stay tuned.

Reta I'll just use your rolls you spoilered for your first two rounds, unless someone frees you.
Mogmurch: Your acid will auto free you with a standard action and 1 splash damage to yourself. You'll still need the once per round fort save though.

Poog Init: 1d20 + 6 ⇒ (18) + 6 = 24
Reta Init: 1d20 + 3 ⇒ (18) + 3 = 21
Chuffy Init: 1d20 + 8 ⇒ (18) + 8 = 26
Mogmurch Init: 1d20 + 4 ⇒ (5) + 4 = 9

Since timing and kills matter in this dare again, I'll resolve actions in initiative order. I'll assume if someone is attacking eagles they are attacking an injured one. At the start of your turn please roll your DC10 fort save vs heat as your first roll. Remember Reta and Mogmurch have a -1 save penalty and -3 max hp due to the stirge con damage. I've included this in your HP notes.

The party is up!

Round 1!

Chuffy (bound) (26/26 HP)
Poog (bound) (23/23 HP)
Reta (bound) (-2 CON Damage) (21/21 HP)
Mogmurch (bound) (-3 CON Damage) (16/20 HP)
---
Eagles (4)

Party Buffs: Squeezing! -4 AC, -4 to Hit.

Escaping Bonds: A goblin has the grappled condition as long as her hands and feet are tied. A successful DC 18 Strength check or DC 22 Escape Artist check is needed to break free of the bonds—both are standard actions to attempt. A free goblin can untie another goblin’s bonds automatically as a standard action.

The Pie: The pie filling is quite hot, and as the contents slosh out, the goblins add fresh boiling foulness to the pie via the dented funnels. Each round a creature remains in the pie, it must succeed at a DC 10 Fortitude save or take 1 point of fire damage. An eagle that dies of pie burns earns no one points.

SCORE BOARD:
Reta - 10
Poog - 9
Chuffy - 5
Mogmurch - 1

Round 1: Reta realizes she needs something to fight the eagles with. But... she can't untie her hands, that's not heroic. Luckily a fellow supporter arrives and hands her a rusty trusty weapon.

Off in the hot soup she goes! That stirge made her a bit woozy, but that's not enough to burn her.

"Ooh, kinda relaxing, like hot water spa..." She zones out briefly, forgetting she should even try to break the bonds.

Reusing the round 1 rolls.

Fort save DC 10: 1d20 + 6 - 1 ⇒ (19) + 6 - 1 = 24

Mogmurch settles into the hot goopy mass trying to keep several of the eagle's talon's from digging into his backside. Once the other goblins have their backs turned he uses the acid to burn away the bonds tying his arms and legs together. Standard action. 1 splash damage taken.

Hah! Told ya Mogmurch be the smartest one of them all!

Fort (DC 10): 1d20 + 3 ⇒ (6) + 3 = 9

"Oow! Hot spot, hot spot!"

Chuffy immediately begins wriggling his arms and feet, trying to squirm free of his bindings...

Escape Artist (DC 22): 1d20 + 10 ⇒ (6) + 10 = 16

...but whoever tied the knots did a pretty good job. He'd almost be impressed if it wasn't for the burning.

Fort: 1d20 + 5 ⇒ (5) + 5 = 10
Poog just manages to avoid getting burnt by the sea of hot garbage. He then places his hands on the rope and tries to burn through the bindings. "Zarongel free Poog, watch!"
Concentration: 1d20 + 5 ⇒ (4) + 5 = 9
Burning Hands: 3d4 ⇒ (2, 4, 4) = 10

While the party flounders about getting untied, 4 agitated eagles definitely recognize goblins as the source of their problems and lash out with beak and talon! 4 eagles, 4 goblins. One eagle attacks each of you.

Chuffy rolls around in the hot slop, catching a face full of steaming mud and having the scorch marks to prove it. He's unable to slip out of his bonds. A nearby eagle starts pecking and clawing at him, giving him a painful gash across his back. 3 damage to Chuffy

Poog's feeling a bit hot, but not too bad. He asks Zargonel for some firey help but all he manages to do is offer up a puff of smoke. Failed concentration check. Spell lost. To make matters worse, a nearby eagle goes 'cat scratch fever' on Poog's face! 5 damage to Poog!

Reta doesn't mind the warm bath but she's in much too awkward a position to break the shoe laces with muscle power. The eagle next to her though isn't happy and pecks and claws like its life depends on it! 5 damage to Reta!

Mogmurch shows everyone why he's the smart one of the group, using some cleverly stashed acid to eat away the laces with ease, and a bit of his hands too. "Huh. Nice that one finally show up. Better later then never." Murmurs Mummy from her seat on a rock. An eagle gets a bit too cuddly and pecks a mole off Mogmurch's shoulder. 2 damage!

The party is up!

Round 2!

Chuffy (bound) (22/26 HP)
Poog (bound) (18/23 HP)
Reta (bound) (-2 CON Damage) (16/21 HP)
Mogmurch (-3 CON Damage) (13/20 HP)
---
Eagles (4)(HP: all Full)

Party Buffs: Squeezing! -4 AC, -4 to Hit.

Escaping Bonds: A goblin has the grappled condition as long as her hands and feet are tied. A successful DC 18 Strength check or DC 22 Escape Artist check is needed to break free of the bonds—both are standard actions to attempt. A free goblin can untie another goblin’s bonds automatically as a standard action.

The Pie: The pie filling is quite hot, and as the contents slosh out, the goblins add fresh boiling foulness to the pie via the dented funnels. Each round a creature remains in the pie, it must succeed at a DC 10 Fortitude save or take 1 point of fire damage. An eagle that dies of pie burns earns no one points.

SCORE BOARD:
Reta - 10
Poog - 9
Chuffy - 5
Mogmurch - 1

Reusing the round 2 rolls

Reta relaxes some more. Until a filthy chirp bird gets in her face. The pie goo gets into her eagle wounds and burns more. Reta failed her Fort Save.

"Stupid chirp bird! People think you scream but I know secret! Red Tailed Marrow scream proud, almost like wolf howl! You chirp like a puny dog! Stealing glory make Reta... angry!"

Reta turns is always a shade of green, but she proceeds to Hulk out and burst from her bonds. She'd love to snatch this glory stealing bird thief, but first thing's first!

She reaches over to 1d2 ⇒ 2 Poog and breaks his bonds. "Hurry up! We need to kill bird thieves! For Red Tailed Marrows!"

Fort save DC 10: 1d20 + 6 - 1 ⇒ (19) + 6 - 1 = 24

Mogmurch is too mad to notice the heat here and glares at the birds here. "Hey, you all want bird pie here? I can cook 'em up right here in da pot if'n youse really hungry!" He smacks his lips in anticipation, deciding to help out Chuffy here who seems a mite distracted here, removing his bonds as well. Mogurch will free Chuffy here.

Reusing the round 2 rolls

Reta relaxes some more. Until a filthy chirp bird gets in her face. The pie goo gets into her eagle wounds and burns more. Reta failed her Fort Save.

"Stupid chirp bird! People think you scream but I know secret! Red Tailed Marrow scream proud, almost like wolf howl! You chirp like a puny dog! Stealing glory make Reta... angry!"

Reta turns is always a shade of green, but she proceeds to Hulk out and burst from her bonds. She'd love to snatch this glory stealing bird thief, but first thing's first!

She reaches over to 1d2 Poog and breaks his bonds. "Hurry up! We need to kill bird thieves! For Red Tailed Marrows!"

Its a standard action to break your bonds or someone else's. Reta hulked out of her ropes and has a move action if she wants to draw something or leave the pie. Or whatever. Poog is still tied up. If Mogmurch wants to change his target then feel free. He can also wait to see if Chuffy busts out on his own first.

Whoops, sorry Poog.

Reta pulls out her dogslicer, ready for some bird stealing revenge-based action!

Fort (DC 10): 1d20 + 3 ⇒ (11) + 3 = 14

Chuffy manages to withstand the pain of the hot pie sludge this time around, though he glares daggers at the eagle who dared to peck him.

"Chuffy eat YOU first!"

He tries again to break out of his bonds...

Escape Artist (DC 22): 1d20 + 10 ⇒ (6) + 10 = 16

...and still can't do it.

"Heck? Someone glue these knots together???"
______________

Chuffy will happily accept Moggy's help if he wishes to give it - but that is, of course, entirely up to Moggy :)

Mogmurch glances over at Reta as she 'amps' up here, "Hey quit yer convulin' and help me out here! You want yer eagle pie roasted
to a burnt crisp right?' Grumbling under his breath here he finishes freeing up his companion here.

"Chuffy owes Moggy biggie!!" he mutters under his breath.

Mogmurch will free Chuffy...just because he he.

Fort: 1d20 + 5 ⇒ (3) + 5 = 8
Poog is but another ingredient in the pot, and feels the burn of the hot stuff sting his skin. He takes the blade tucked into his cape and starts shredding away at the rope.

Similar to using burning hands, Poog wants to use his shortsword to cut the ropes.

Chuffy struggles, tying himself up in a knot over things, luckily Mogmurch trades a future favor to help the rogue out of a tight situation. Chuffy's eagle friend continues to rake the rogue with beak and claw, one claw slashing dangerously close to his bathing suit area. Near crit, 4 damage.

Poog starts to smell cooked Poog and spends his time cutting away his bonds. Mummy can't find anything in the rules to dispute this idea so it works! Poog similarly gets clawed up by the ornery feather duster. 3 damage!

Reta somehow gets invigorated from second degree burns and snaps the boot laces like twigs then draws her dogslicer ready to kick some tail feathers! She knocks away any attempts at drawing more of her blood this time...

Mogmurch is no stranger to sitting in hot water, it doesn't bother him in the slightest. He unties Chuffy as a gesture of good will. He's rewarded with an eagle claw to the back of the head. 2 damage

Seeing all the chief's-in-training now freed, the crowd stands on their feet and cheers "What now? KILL BAD BIRDIES!" Some shout, mostly those supporters of Chuffy and Mogmurch who need to catch up. Others are shouting towards Reta and Poog "Get out first, and maybe I win! Er.. you win!"

The party is up!

Round 3!

Chuffy (18/26 HP)
Poog (15/23 HP)
Reta (-2 CON Damage) (16/21 HP)
Mogmurch (-3 CON Damage) (11/20 HP)
---
Eagles (4) (-1)

Party Buffs: Squeezing! -4 AC, -4 to Hit.

Escaping Bonds: A goblin has the grappled condition as long as her hands and feet are tied. A successful DC 18 Strength check or DC 22 Escape Artist check is needed to break free of the bonds—both are standard actions to attempt. A free goblin can untie another goblin’s bonds automatically as a standard action.

The Pie: The pie filling is quite hot, and as the contents slosh out, the goblins add fresh boiling foulness to the pie via the dented funnels. Each round a creature remains in the pie, it must succeed at a DC 10 Fortitude save or take 1 point of fire damage. An eagle that dies of pie burns earns no one points.

SCORE BOARD:
Reta - 10
Poog - 9
Chuffy - 5
Mogmurch - 1

Fort save DC 10: 1d20 + 6 - 1 ⇒ (12) + 6 - 1 = 17

Mogmurch grunts in pain as the effects of the slashing claws are starting to make their presence felt. Deciding he had had enough of this, he decided to get out of the 'hot' tub so he can get things REALLY cookin'!

Move (or Standard) action, climb out of the hot tub.

Fort: 1d20 + 5 - 1 ⇒ (17) + 5 - 1 = 21

Reta readies her dogslicer against the nearest eagle.

Dogslicer, Squeezing: 1d20 + 8 - 4 ⇒ (8) + 8 - 4 = 12
Damage: 1d4 + 1 ⇒ (2) + 1 = 3

Fort: 1d20 + 5 ⇒ (2) + 5 = 7
Freed from his bindings, Poog is better able to defend himself, and attack. And so he does, jabbing at the nearest bird with his shortsword.

Shortsword: 1d20 + 3 ⇒ (4) + 3 = 71d4 ⇒ 4

Fort (DC 10): 1d20 + 3 ⇒ (6) + 3 = 9

Chuffy continues to slow-cook in a mixture of juices but at least he's free. "Thanks Moggy! Chuffy remember you bestest when Chief!"

He finally draws out his dogslicer and turns to the eagle who'd dared lay talons on him. "Now...CHUFFY STAB YOU GOOD!"

Attack vs. Eagle (MW Dogslicer; Squeezing): 1d20 + 8 - 4 ⇒ (7) + 8 - 4 = 11
Damage: 1d4 - 1 ⇒ (2) - 1 = 1

Mmmm braised Chuffy, nice and tender. Kinda greasy though. Chuffy cooks a bit more, suffering some freshly popped pustules on his tookus. He takes it out though, on the somewhat cooked eagle nearby. One of the other eagles tries and fails to penetrate Fort Chuffy.

Poog, also seems to be tenderizing nicely in the scalding liquid. He tries to finish off the eagle after Chuffy but is having quite a hard time in the tangled chaos. To make matters worse one of the eagles pecks and claws him up pretty good. 4 damage total

Reta though, she's one tough bird. So tough she slices the beak off the wounded eagle right after Chuffy roughed it up. "FIVE POINTS REEEEDDD!" Cheers the crowd, or some of it. Some of Chuffy's supporters grumble a bit. She's rewarded by a talon to the foot. 2 damage Reta.

Mogmurch throws in the towel, climbing out of the pit of gooey death, happy to live another day. "White first out, 10 points!"

"Three left in the pie, who will leave and who will kill more birds! No one know!" Three birds vs three targets so just keeping it easy, one attacked each of you. Mogmurch can watch safely from the sidelines.

The party is up!

Round 4!

Chuffy (17/26 HP)
Poog (10/23 HP)
Reta (-2 CON Damage) (14/21 HP)
Mogmurch (Out of Challenge) (-3 CON Damage) (11/20 HP)
---
Eagles (3) (-1)

Party Buffs: Squeezing! -4 AC, -4 to Hit.

The Pie: The pie filling is quite hot, and as the contents slosh out, the goblins add fresh boiling foulness to the pie via the dented funnels. Each round a creature remains in the pie, it must succeed at a DC 10 Fortitude save or take 1 point of fire damage. An eagle that dies of pie burns earns no one points.

SCORE BOARD:
Reta - 15
Poog - 9
Chuffy - 5
Mogmurch - 11

Fort: 1d20 + 5 - 1 ⇒ (18) + 5 - 1 = 22

"Ow! Stupid bird!" Reta fights every urge to kiss her foot amid the grease and fire.

Dogslicer, Squeezing: 1d20 + 8 - 4 ⇒ (19) + 8 - 4 = 23
Damage: 1d4 + 1 ⇒ (3) + 1 = 4

Crit?: 1d20 + 8 - 4 ⇒ (15) + 8 - 4 = 19
Damage: 1d4 + 1 ⇒ (3) + 1 = 4

But she does slice that eagle up good.

Fort (DC 10): 1d20 + 3 ⇒ (19) + 3 = 22

Attack vs. Eagle (Dogslicer; Squeezing): 1d20 + 8 - 4 ⇒ (5) + 8 - 4 = 9
Damage: 1d4 - 1 ⇒ (1) - 1 = 0

Though Chuffy manages to weather the hot pie filling a bit better, the same can't really be said for his attempts at bird-stabbing.

Fort: 1d20 + 5 ⇒ (8) + 5 = 13

"BAD BIRD! BAD!" Poog scowls. "Hate you almost as much as horse. Horsechopper no good. Need new weapon called.. umm.. Birdcruncher. Oh wait! Maybe that why we do this dare... Ooooh...!" His eyes wide as if he just understood the meaning of life, Poog throws an entranced stab at the eagle.

Shortsword: 1d20 + 3 ⇒ (20) + 3 = 231d4 ⇒ 4
Crit?: 1d20 + 3 ⇒ (6) + 3 = 91d4 ⇒ 1

Chuffy keeps clear of the fresh hot liquid as a pair of goblins pour in more pie filling. He also stays clear of landing a useful blow on the angry eagle.

Poog on the other hand makes quick work of a slightly scalded eagle with one swing, he too avoiding the hot mess. "FIVE! Count 'em FIVE points ORRANNGEEEE!" Hollers Mummy, her hands gripping the oversized ears of a nearby whelp so hard they're drawing blood.

Reta won't be outdone, she too removes the wings from an eagle with a well placed hack. Its beak quickly sinks below the gravy, never to be seen again. "Five points Red." Mumbles Mummy, her grip relaxing.

Mogmurch watches with an appropriate level of annoyance, disdain, and relief.

Only one eagle remains. Its partially cooked, its feathers are clipped and all its siblings have been killed. In a wild look of desperation its eyes settle on the smallest of the group... POOG! Its beak catches only air but its pair of talons make deep rakes across Zarongel's faithful! Two hits for 6 total. I rolled randomly, sorry Poog.

"One bird left, kill it then jump out pie for more points and big big winner!" I'm going to assume each player takes one last whack at the eagle then gets out of the pie for maximum points. If you wish to stay in until the last eagle dies, or something else, please make it clear. I think this is a Reta/Poog race at this point.

The party is up!

Round 5!

Chuffy (17/26 HP)
Poog (4/23 HP)
Reta (-2 CON Damage) (14/21 HP)
Mogmurch (Out of Challenge) (-3 CON Damage) (11/20 HP)
---
Eagles (1) (-1)

Party Buffs: Squeezing! -4 AC, -4 to Hit.

The Pie: The pie filling is quite hot, and as the contents slosh out, the goblins add fresh boiling foulness to the pie via the dented funnels. Each round a creature remains in the pie, it must succeed at a DC 10 Fortitude save or take 1 point of fire damage. An eagle that dies of pie burns earns no one points.

SCORE BOARD:
Reta - 20
Poog - 14
Mogmurch - 11
Chuffy - 5

The first goblin to make it out of the pie earns 10 points. The second goblin earns 5 points. The third earns 3 points. Any contestants after the third earn no points at all.

Fort: 1d20 + 5 - 1 ⇒ (18) + 5 - 1 = 22

"Ha ha! Red Tailed Marrow screams for victory. But not around here, because this Birdcruncher tribe." Reta takes a quick swing.

Dogslicer, Squeezing: 1d20 + 8 - 4 ⇒ (9) + 8 - 4 = 13
Damage: 1d4 + 1 ⇒ (2) + 1 = 3

"Come on, get out. We must do more hero stuff soon!" She climbs out of the pie pit. "Mogmurch! Good job securing escape route!"

Fort (DC 10): 1d20 + 3 ⇒ (6) + 3 = 9

MW Dogslicer (Squeezing): 1d20 + 8 - 4 ⇒ (6) + 8 - 4 = 10
Damage: 1d4 - 1 ⇒ (1) - 1 = 0

Though he's seen the scribbles on the wall (but don't tell anybody!) Chuffy still makes one last stab at the remaining eagle before hauling himself out of the pie pot.

Fort: 1d20 + 5 ⇒ (2) + 5 = 7

"Poog had enough! Time to leave slow cooker!" Poog sloshes through as quickly as he can and leaps out of the stew smelling of all sorts of nastiness.

The moment of truth is here. Its a tight race between Reta and Poog at the top of the leader board. It could go either way folks. With a little luck and some quickness who knows who'll win!

Chuffy acts first, getting himself a few fresh scalds for his trouble before he nicks the last eagle with the edge of his blade. Not enough to draw blood but just enough to leave a bruise. 1NL to the eagle. He quickly drags himself out of the pie though to claim some points. "Black second out of pie, FIVE POINTS!"

Next up is Poog, not even caring about stabbing the last wounded eagle. Caring much more about the near boiling gravy that's burning his eagle scratches. He climbs out, leaving the last eagle to his main rival Reta. "Third goblin out of pie... ORANGE! Three points!" Cheers Mummy, scrunching her face into a bit of a frown as she starts tallying the colored stones.

Reta gives the last eagle a solid THWACK! with her dogslicer then watches it sink into the bubbling gravy as she strides out of the pie. "Dead eagle Red." Laments Mummy. "Five points. Red win, new big Chief." Her voice is a bit disappointed as she knows she lost her bet.

A group of goblins and whelps mobs Reta, blowing raspberries at the other Bird Crunchers who chose the wrong horse to lay their bets. "Speech speech!" They cheer.

Finally health situation and point tally below.

Chuffy (16/26 HP)
Poog (3/23 HP)
Reta (-2 CON Damage) (14/21 HP)
Mogmurch (Out of Challenge) (-3 CON Damage) (11/20 HP)

FINAL SCORE BOARD:
Reta - 25
Poog - 17
Mogmurch - 11
Chuffy - 10

"Ha! We kill birds for stealing voice from other birds!" Reta climbs out of the goo.

"Who win?" She looks at the line of stones piling up. "Huh, lots of Red stones... wait a minute."

Reta's mind feels like two sticks rubbing together as they build up friction and they think...FIRE!

"Wait! I win? I win!" The Birdcrunchers surround and cheer her on.

"Ah, yes. I am happy to become your chief." She clears her throat. "Er, four score and seven years ago... wait no... hope and change is worth two in the bush. No wait... build a wall and make... wait no, um... takes more than that to kill a Bull Moose!"

Diplomacy: 1d20 - 2 ⇒ (13) - 2 = 11

"Birdcrunchers rule and they make others drool! You will all grow big and strong alongside chief Reta. And her subchiefs:"

"Chief of mighty Zarongel, Poog!"
"Chief of sneaky stabby things, Chuffy!"
"Chief of explosions and fire, Mogmurch!"

"We will help you grow big and strong. But only if you help us!" she cheers.

"We is all Chiefs!" Poog cheers for Reta. "Maybe it serve Poog right, trying to steal kill. Still, game is game. Poog would do it again if had chance!"

"Me glad to be sub-Chief," Mogmurch dances a little jig here, nearly fainting from a woozy feeling that came over him. Sitting heavily on the ground here he smiles up at his new chief. "Me do good at blowing things up, Big Chief Reeeta!"

Being Chief means less time fer funz stuffies!

"Eh...this okay. Chuffy can live with this," he remarks as he licks some of the gooey pie filling off his arms and hands. "Reta know who bestest friends are and that most important!"

If Reta know what good for her, anyway.

He mentally makes sure to keep Reta on his list of 'People to Probably Not Stab Unless Very Important to Stab'.

Once the games are over and the tallies counted (many times by many different goblins with many different results) Mummy announces the winner in one final declaration "Red Reta win so STOP COUNTING! Don't matter much since she make her friends sub Chiefs." She glares at yet another goblin trying to make his case for a recount before placing the crown of bird parts on Reta's head. It sits like a baby turtle on top of a boulder.

The crown isn't magical but you do get a +2 bonus to intimidate vs Bird Cruncher Goblins. And hey, its a nice touch to the wedding dress.

Regardless, the four new Chiefs are hoisted up on the shoulders of many goblins and carried inside the big cave with many a hoot and holler. After a quick parade around the cave they are gently dropped off in front of a big stinky chest. "Chief gets tribe's treasure. It'll be really good for tomorrow's booting of the Munchmeats!" She heaves the top over and reveals the contents...

GOLD! Silver! Ummm other stuff!

Among the 840 gp in assorted coins, art objects, trophies, jars of pickles, shiny rocks, dented armor fragments, broken dogslicers, and bird parts in various stages of decay are the following items of particular interest:

four potions of

Everyone crowds around to see what's inside, only Mummy seems to know what's in there already. "Good stuff huh?"