Morning comes early, but not nearly as early for the Birdcrunchers. The sky lightens quickly but it takes a while for the first rays to reach into the cave mouth, thanks to some tall hills strategically placed to help goblins sleep in. "The Moot starts soon, time to move." Can be heard as Mummy and some of the other goblins help wake up the over indulgers.
The first dare takes place in a valley to the south of the Birdcrunchers’ cave where the chieftains-in-waiting are led to the center of the valley. "Ok, your tools for this are simple: bow and arrows. We release gull birds, you shoot gull bird. More you hit, better for you!" She hands each hero a short bow and a quiver of arrows, each arrow has the fletchings painted a different color: orange for Poog, red for Reta, black for Chuffy and white for Mogmurch. While you get a look at your weapons a pair of goblins come up from behind and tied a blindfold over your eyes.
"Oh, ya, gotta shoot gull bird from sound. No seeing!" The crowd chuckles then rushes off to claim their favorite viewing perches. Some climb rocks, trees, other goblins... the norm. "Ok, release first cage when ready!" Mummy announces, then jumps down into the dirt for cover.
As you all strain your ears, wondering... WAITING.... FFFFFFFssssstttt A long drawn out fart is released by someone in the crowd and giggling erupts. A burp quickly follows that, and then another, almost like a discussion? Or maybe Morse code... And then CLANG the sounds of a door dropping open and a chorus of gull "CAW!" and the sounds of bird poop painting rocks are heard. Its time to make your attacks!
"Shoot birds? Heh, me great with shooting. I'll look at the bird and- h-hey! Me no see!" Reta stumbles a bit as the Birdcrunchers take a few tries to tie the headband around her huge big boned head.
Reta grins. "Luckily, I can't fail to hear them."
"Bird is over... here!"
She does a quickly flourish, takes aim and fires!
Reta, even distracted by all the burps and farts STILL knows exactly where the gulls are headed. She sends a red feathered arrow straight through it. "Two points red team!" Calls out Mummy, laying down in the dirt.
"Poog's ears sharp as nails!" The goblin aims up at the first flock of gulls and launches a volley of makeshift arrows at it.
Although Poog seems to hear the gulls, he can't see 'em, and his arrows fly wide!
As always, Chuffy decides to go big. He strains, trying to listen for the most distant-sounding of the three flocks...
...and though he's got the general direction nailed, he fails to follow through on actually taking down one of the oversized birds!
"Did it work? Did Chuffy hit it!?" he asks excitedly, the blindfold sparing him from witnessing his failure firsthand.
Waiting for the other three goblin friends to take their shots, Mogmurch tests the wind with a fart of his own then lets a white feathered arrow fly!
Reta takes out a gull before it hardly has a chance to gain any altitude, even after its dumped its payload. "Two points Red!" Announces Mummy.
Poog has everything lined up perfectly but then the blind fold gets in the way and he shatters his arrow on the side of the hill. "Hey, arrows don't grow on trees! No points Orange." The crowd declares, with Mummy's blessing.
Chuffy for all his bluster, boils and blisters can't quite take down a gull with an arrow. His black fletched stick just misses a greater black backed gull as it takes off over the ocean. In a crazy twist of physics, the shot falls and strikes a rock, ricocheting back and striking Mogmurch square in the chest! Mummy sighs and shakes her head, but the crowd goes wild with laughter, chanting "THREE POINTS BLACK!!!" Apparently there's more than one way to score points in this game...
Mogmurch's own shot flies off and falls into the sea harmlessly, the crowd doesn't even notice, still buzzing about Chuffy's arrow still sticking out of Mogmurch.
SCORE BOARD:
Reta - 2
Poog - 0
Chuffy - 3
Mogmurch - 0 (4 damage)
"Okay. You are the one, Reta. There is no try. Only do."
Reta grins. "Luckily, I can't fail to hear them."
As soon as she fires she pauses. She knows she's wrong. "Whoa."
Poog mentally digs deep behind his blindfold, trying to enter a meditative trance and hear only the cawing of the gulls. He aims his bow as he rotates 360 degrees on one foot. "Not there... not there... THERE!"
But he's a goblin after all, and his meditation is easily broken by the noisy Birdcrunchers, causing him to again miss.
Blissfully unaware that he's scored his points by way of freak friendly fire, Chuffy excitedly listens, takes aim, and fires again! He then waits expectantly, knowing that last time there was a bit of a delay before his color was called.
Another white fletched arrow takes to the sky!
All four goblins have stellar ears, the tiny hairs inside those long, pointy wax factories picking up the sounds of distressed gulls with ease. All four however are undone by the simplest challenges, like being able to see. Four arrows fly in random directions, only one actually hits a living target: Mogmurch's. It flies into a goblin standing high on a rock. With a yelp he crashes to the ground in a cloud of dust. "Ha! One point WHITE!"
SCORE BOARD:
Reta - 2
Poog - 0
Chuffy - 3
Mogmurch - 1 (4 damage)
Reta takes a long, deep breath. Reminds her of eating mudpie at goblin school. Well, no goblin school just her planning how to knock a big rock on top of her tormentors.
She takes aim and fires!
That herring gull never saw it coming. Reta double lung's it and the crowd goes wild! "Two points RED!" Hollers Mummy, still laying safely in the dirt. A few other spectators have finally start to catch on to the reasoning...
"Haha, this fun!" Chuffy hoots as he fires off another shot, his excitement getting the better of him and throwing of his listening skills juuuuuust enough.
Poog's blood boils with frustration. He knows he hasn't scored a single point yet! He launches a dozen arrows into where the thinks the last gull is, but like any goblin machine gun, not a single one hits.
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Mogmurch feels a weird sense of...deja vue (not that he would have any idea what that meant) as if he was in a far away place...before suddenly realizing where he was.
"Dis contest is stupid lame...NOW if dey just allowed a few more explosions then I can walk away with dis crown...All da pieces!"
He listens carefully for the flock of gulls to fly overhead and sends another white-fletched arrow into their midst...
...but the arrow flies wide right!
Four more arrows take to the sky. Reta's skewers a herring gull, easy peasy lemon squeasy. "Two points RED!" Screams Mummy. Seems she's taken a liking to Reta so far.
Chuffy just can't quite pinpoint the gulls and shoots his arrow off into the dirt. But hit that dirt square he did, right where he intended. From the white splotch on the ground it looks like he heard a bird dropping instead of the bird. "HA! Half point BLACK!" Hollers Mummy giggling. Hehe, he not know no half points in Chief Moot!
Poog sends a barrage of arrows into the sky, or at least that's what he imagines. What actually happens is he shoots a large boulder and the arrow explodes, splinters piercing an unlucky bystander. Heh, sometimes its better to be lucky than good. "One Point ORANGE!"
Finally Mogmurch's arrow launches. The disdain on his face is palpable. Bow and arrows are beneath him and he lets the crowd know it. They're pretty sure its just an excuse for why he's in last place. His hearing and aim are solid, but the arrow misses its mark thanks to the blind fold. "No big booms of fire, maybe later. No points White!"
Goblins hop down from their seats and pull the blind folds off the group while Mummy slowly makes it back to her feet. "Not bad Chiefs-in-waiting. Next up you do stirge stomp!" She wanders back towards the big cave, crunching a couple dried snack beetles as she teeters.
SCORE BOARD:
Reta - 4
Poog - 1
Chuffy - 3
Mogmurch - 1 (4 damage)
The second dare takes the contestants and the crowd to the west, where a particularly low valley has subsided into a permanent swamp of nasty standing water. A failed attempt by the Birdcrunchers to build a bunch of huts on stilts left behind a haphazard arrangement of wobbly posts protruding from the boggy ground. The goblins have laid wooden planks across several of these posts, creating narrow bridges that stand 10 feet off the ground. In this dare, the goblins all begin on the southern shore of the bog and are fitted with wide, clumsy, human boots. A single stirge on a 5-foot-long tether is tied to each of the red posts.
"Well, don't just look at big boots put them on feets! Yes they smell good, sniff later, stomp stirges NOW!" She tosses a rock to the ground and a loud BANG rings out, time to go!
The party is up!
Chuffy
Mogmurch
Reta
Poog
The party is off like lightning, except Poog, he's two knuckles deep on some Zarongel Blessings.
Party Buffs: Nil
Environmental Conditions: -2 Acrobatics from Boots. DC7 Acrobatics to balance on planks. If you fail you waste that move action but can try again with a second move action. Stirges are buzzing around angrily on strings.
SCORE BOARD:
Reta - 4
Poog - 1
Chuffy - 3
Mogmurch - 1 (4 damage)
Reta wear big longshank boots. Wobbly!
She makes her way to the plank and tries to balance across.
She moves across the plank and makes it to one of the stirges.
Mogmurch glares at the hated human boots, and mutters viciously under his breath,
"When I wins theese gamez, I be maikin some changes in how things be run around here..."
Gazing in thought at the right most plank he strides confidently across the plank and readies to leap across the plank...
...managing to just barely make it to the edge!
Chuffy frowns as he looks down at the ginormous boots on his feet and then awkwardly waddles forward, the effort needed to actually pick his feet up slowing him down a bit. He comes to the first plank...
...and confidently hops up atop it and makes his way to the other end, arms held out to help him keep his balance.
Poog finishes his boog-blessing with a confused look on his face. "Why walk to stirge when can just burn them? Hehehe!"
He points a finger at the tiny maroon-eyed creature, launching a small bolt of fire at it.
Afterwards, he waddles towards the plank with his big clunky longshank boots.
Reta has no issues with the large boots, balancing on the plank with ease. She clomps right next to a stirge, who senses a meal and tries to fly in close for some goblin blood!
Mogmurch has much more trouble with the boots, nearly losing his balance but then makes it out onto the narrow plank. The nearby stirge stirs off of the post and begins buzzing around, tethered.
Chuffy, another balance master, hops up and clomps to the end of the plank, stirring up the interest of a near by stirge. It strains at its tether but can't quite get close enough to attach.
Poog defiantly shoots a ray of flame at one of the bugs and singes off a few legs. It stirs and starts buzzing around agitated, tethered.
The party is up!
Chuffy
Mogmurch
Reta
Poog
---
Maroon -2
Party Buffs: Nil
Environmental Conditions: -2 Acrobatics from Boots. DC7 Acrobatics to balance on planks. If you fail you waste that move action but can try again with a second move action. Stirges are buzzing around angrily on strings.
**You can use Acrobatics to move on narrow surfaces and uneven ground without falling. A successful check allows you to move at half speed across such surfaces—only one check is needed per round. While you are using Acrobatics in this way, you are considered flat-footed and lose your Dexterity bonus to your AC (if any). If you take damage while using Acrobatics, you must immediately make another Acrobatics check at the same DC to avoid falling or being knocked prone.
SCORE BOARD:
Reta - 4
Poog - 1
Chuffy - 3
Mogmurch - 1 (4 damage)
"Me know goblin-fu."
"Uh, that was me making mighty goblin stance!"
"Stomp of Longshank!"
If the stirge is properly squished, Reta will advance down the plank towards the next stirge.
"Stomp of Longshank, huh? Poog try that too, maybe next time. For now Poog make FIRE!" He again launches another firebolt, hopefully more damaging this time, at the nearest stirge.
Then continues waddling along the plank.
"HEY! Methink you be cheatin! Rulez state this is a STOMPING game!" Mogmurch calls out to the cheating goblin, before summoning his muscles for a giant leap across the gap in the beam...
After having made it across...barely...he proceeds to stomp away in frustration.
Why didn't me think of that before??
;
As the stirge buzzes within reach, Chuffy attempts a jump-kick BOOT TO THE HEAD...
...but overdoes it, just a bit.
"Stupid buzzbug, hold still!"
______________
Reta swings and misses the first kick as the stirge tries to latch on for a snack. She doesn't miss the second time though and bends the poor thing's proboscis nearly in half! It may be flying a bit crooked but it tries to land for another meal. It latches on and starts draining blood!
Poog keeps with what's working and shoots more fire at the wounded stirge. Its scorched corpse falls out of the sky and into the mud below. "Two points OrrrAnnnge!" Shouts Mummy, apparently having no issue with boots not being used for the stomping.
Mogmurch tries to channel his inner rulez lawyer as he stomps and misses. The crowd gives him a serious case of the "BOOOO!" birds for his efforts, while cheering Poog's resourcefulness.. and fire. His foe comes in close for a snack It latches on and starts draining blood!
Chuffy pretends to be Bruce Lee, but it looks more like Granny Lee as he misses badly. His foe strains on its tether but just can't get close enough for a bite.
The party is up!
Chuffy
Mogmurch -1 CON Damage (Grappled)
Reta -1 CON Damage (Grappled)
Poog
---
Pink -4
Party Buffs: Nil
Environmental Conditions: -2 Acrobatics from Boots. DC7 Acrobatics to balance on planks. If you fail you waste that move action but can try again with a second move action. Stirges are buzzing around angrily on strings.
**You can use Acrobatics to move on narrow surfaces and uneven ground without falling. A successful check allows you to move at half speed across such surfaces—only one check is needed per round. While you are using Acrobatics in this way, you are considered flat-footed and lose your Dexterity bonus to your AC (if any). If you take damage while using Acrobatics, you must immediately make another Acrobatics check at the same DC to avoid falling or being knocked prone.
SCORE BOARD:
Reta - 4
Poog - 3
Chuffy - 3
Mogmurch - 1 (4 damage)
Unperturbed by what's happening to Reta and Moggy, Chuffy continues to try out his sweet kung-fu moves against the Yellow Stirge...
...and continues to muck it up. Scowling, he glances over at his fire-flinging buddy.
"Start to think Poog had right idea..."
Clearly ready to try something else, Chuffy attempts to backtrack out of Yellow's reach.
"Hey...HEY..." Mogurch yelps out as the buzzing birdie gets a mite TOO close...
;
"OW...OWW...OWWWW!"
Nearly shrieking in panic now Mogmurch vainly attempts to stomp the squishy bug off of him!
;
Reta continues her impromptu martial arts routine, even as she's losing her blood.
Poog blows the smoke off his index finger. "Fire always solve all problems!" He aims again at a stirge, this time the cyan buzzing just in front of him, and lobs another fire bolt.
Reta dances about flailing while the blood sucker does what they do... It continues draining blood!
Poog loses his balance at the start of the plank, but is able to hop back to the safety of dry land before firing some pretty fireworks into the air. Mummy looks a bit nervous as Poog falls but seeing him still dry she nods.
Mogmurch swats, kicks, and wiggles, doing his best to KO the bug, but it doesn't help. It continues draining blood!
Chuffy kicks at the air then backs away to safety. "BOOO! Less dancing more bug squashing!" Jeers the crowd.
The party is up!
Chuffy
Mogmurch -2 CON Damage (Grappled)
Reta -2 CON Damage (Grappled)
Poog
---
Pink -4
Party Buffs: Nil
Environmental Conditions: -2 Acrobatics from Boots. DC7 Acrobatics to balance on planks. If you fail you waste that move action but can try again with a second move action. Stirges are buzzing around angrily on strings.
**You can use Acrobatics to move on narrow surfaces and uneven ground without falling. A successful check allows you to move at half speed across such surfaces—only one check is needed per round. While you are using Acrobatics in this way, you are considered flat-footed and lose your Dexterity bonus to your AC (if any). If you take damage while using Acrobatics, you must immediately make another Acrobatics check at the same DC to avoid falling or being knocked prone.
SCORE BOARD:
Reta - 4 (-2 CON)
Poog - 3
Chuffy - 3
Mogmurch - 1 (4 damage)(-2 CON)
"Gah! Even after unlocking inner goblin, bugs are fast!" Reta tries to slap the stirge off of her.
"OK, now me getz MAD!"
;
Poog brings forth yet another firebolt, but notices that it's visibly weaker. "Poog running out of fire... May need use fist soon... Not good! Pray to Zarongel for big strong mean fire to burn bug! Feed ashes to Dogfinder!"
Ignoring the booing of the crowd, Chuffy whips out his hand crossbow and loads it up, all the while eyeing the plethora of targets available...
______________
Reta finally lands a sound SMACK on the side of the stirge, her own blood spurting everywhere as the bug falls off and into the water, dead. "TWO POINTS REEDDDD!" Cheers Mummy. Some of the other goblins look nervous as their bets may fall flat.
Poog roasts yet another bug, Cyan, sending the crowd into a wild bunch of cheers as the flames fly through the air. "It like Zarongel in the flesh!" One says.
Mogmurch swats, kicks, and wiggles, doing his best to KO the bug, but it STILL doesn't help. It continues draining blood!
Chuffy has wizened up, preparing for a ranged assault tactic, even though he's got the best balance of them all! "Hey, cool stick shooter!" Shouts one of the younger goblins, or older whelp.. its hard to tell exactly under all that mud.
The party is up!
Chuffy
Mogmurch -3 CON Damage (Grappled)
Reta -2 CON Damage
Poog
---
Party Buffs: Nil
Environmental Conditions: -2 Acrobatics from Boots. DC7 Acrobatics to balance on planks. If you fail you waste that move action but can try again with a second move action. Stirges are buzzing around angrily on strings.
**You can use Acrobatics to move on narrow surfaces and uneven ground without falling. A successful check allows you to move at half speed across such surfaces—only one check is needed per round. While you are using Acrobatics in this way, you are considered flat-footed and lose your Dexterity bonus to your AC (if any). If you take damage while using Acrobatics, you must immediately make another Acrobatics check at the same DC to avoid falling or being knocked prone.
SCORE BOARD:
Reta - 6 (-2 CON)
Poog - 5
Chuffy - 3
Mogmurch - 1 (4 damage)(-2 CON)
His crossbow locked and loaded, Chuffy eyes the available targets, particularly those closest...
...and decides to teach his original target, Yellow, a lesson! Taking aim, he fires!
"Hah! Like shooting...shooting, um...this really easy now!"
Chuffy then casually loads another bolt.
"Okay, no more time for kung fu. I need bows. Lots of bows."
Reta pulls out her short bow and takes aim at the stirge on the Orange flag.
Having quite enough of this Mogmurch decides to to exercise what humans would call a discretionary withdrawal but in actuality is a panicked retreat here!
Blowing smoke off his index finger, Poog launches the final fire bolt in supply, aiming for yellow - and hoping for a killsteal! "Sorry friend Chuffy, Poog need to come back with victory after gull game!"
Chuffy sends that little bolt straight through the yellow stirge and out the other side. Too bad he didn't hit anything vital. It buzzes in the other direction trying to escape.
Mogmurch panics and tries to flee. His arms start to pinwheel and it isn't enough. He falls off the plank and lands face first into the muck. The stirge is yanked out of his arm and buzzes around slowly, very bloated in goblin blood. "White: DISQUALIFIED! You fell off, you can't fall off into mud. BZZZT! White out of dare!" Hollers Mummy.
Reta puts an arrow in the orange stirge, it loses a bit of altitude then buzzes around awkwardly with an arrow sticking out of it.
Poog's final fiery shot is high and to the right, sparing Chuffy the indignation of being sniped of two points.
The party is up!
Chuffy
Mogmurch -3 CON Damage (Disqualified!)
Reta -2 CON Damage
Poog
---
Yellow -2
Orange -2
Party Buffs: Nil
Environmental Conditions: -2 Acrobatics from Boots. DC7 Acrobatics to balance on planks. If you fail you waste that move action but can try again with a second move action. Stirges are buzzing around angrily on strings.
**You can use Acrobatics to move on narrow surfaces and uneven ground without falling. A successful check allows you to move at half speed across such surfaces—only one check is needed per round. While you are using Acrobatics in this way, you are considered flat-footed and lose your Dexterity bonus to your AC (if any). If you take damage while using Acrobatics, you must immediately make another Acrobatics check at the same DC to avoid falling or being knocked prone.
SCORE BOARD:
Reta - 6 (-2 CON)
Poog - 5
Chuffy - 3
Mogmurch - 1 (4 damage)(-3 CON)
"Not if Chuffy get there first!" Chuffy fires back at Poog as he takes aim at Yellow once more and fires another bolt...
...and reloads again!
______________
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"NoooOooOoooo!" Poog cries as the stirge (probably) falls before he can killsteal it.
He takes out a javelin and whips it at green instead, hoping for an easy, quick kill!
Reta fires again at the Orange stirge.
Chuffy shoots and finishes off the yellow stirge, causing a small section of the goblin audience to cheer, hopeful he can make a strong comeback and their bets pay out. "TWO POINTS BLACK!" Hollers Mummy.
Mogmurch starts to pull himself out of the mud, the oversized boots quickly claimed by the sucking mudflat.
Reta takes aim at her injured orange stirge but her shot just can't connect to the tiny creature.
Poog swoops in and impales it to the post though with a long javelin toss! "OOoooo not nice... me like! TWO POINTS ORANNNGGEEE!" Cheers Mummy, Poog's biggest supporter.
The party is up!
Chuffy
Mogmurch -3 CON Damage (Disqualified!)
Reta -2 CON Damage
Poog
---
Party Buffs: Nil
Environmental Conditions: -2 Acrobatics from Boots. DC7 Acrobatics to balance on planks. If you fail you waste that move action but can try again with a second move action. Stirges are buzzing around angrily on strings.
**You can use Acrobatics to move on narrow surfaces and uneven ground without falling. A successful check allows you to move at half speed across such surfaces—only one check is needed per round. While you are using Acrobatics in this way, you are considered flat-footed and lose your Dexterity bonus to your AC (if any). If you take damage while using Acrobatics, you must immediately make another Acrobatics check at the same DC to avoid falling or being knocked prone.
SCORE BOARD:
Reta - 6 (-2 CON)
Poog - 7
Chuffy - 5
Mogmurch - 1 (4 damage)(-3 CON)
Hoping that he can catch up to Reta and Poog, Chuffy goes for the low-hanging fruit and takes aim at Purple...
...and reloads, again!