Reta 'accidentally' misses the oversized frog, while discreetly blowing it kisses.
Now that his prey is in reach, the giant frog now known as 'Lord Longtongue' hops closer and CHOMPS on Mogmurch's prone form. There's a sickening CRUNCH sound as the frog bites down on the top half of Mogmurch's body, which then proceeds to go limp in its mouth, a foot twitching every few seconds.
This sight turns Vorka's sour mood into one of pure joy "Haha! Firey one had that coming to him he did! Guess LLT was pretty hungry huh!" She continues to cackle, and stops just long enough to toss a ball of fire at the dangling Poog, smacking him in the face. "Revenge!"
What a turn of events! Things looked really grim for Team Vorka, but in a stunning reversal on 'frog legs', Team Licktoad is/was on the ropes!
Round 7/8... Bold are up!
Chuffy -1
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Vorka -27
Lord Longtongue
----
Mogmurch -20 (DYING! Prone!)(Fire Breath Elixir (2 Left))
Poog -5 -6? ((DC10 Climb Check to move further)
Reta
Party Buffs: Nil
Environmental Conditions: The woman is 10' up in a crow's nest with partial cover to ranged attacks from below. The middle deck is on the same level as the rear crow's nest and negates the partial cover. There are also ropes hanging down within reach of the rear deck that can be climbed, or climb up the central mast and follow.
Rigging: Two rickety wooden platforms—crow’s nests—sit on the masts, 10' above the ship’s deck below. Each is linked by a pair of thick ropes, and additional ropes hang down from the platform on the stern-most mast to the deck. The options to climb up to the nests are shimmying up the mast itself in the center section, up the stove pipe then across the ropes, or up the ropes from the rear of the ship, then...
Reta takes another deep breath. Okay, okay. That frog just ate Mogmurch. You gotta do this. Be careful, take shot...
Sorry froggy, but being Goblin Hero isn't easy...
"UGH!" Mogmurch falls, crunched between the toothless gums of the giant frog
Poog loses his footing on the rope, and crashes down below, his pet toad flying across the ship. "Ow.. Hurt.. Bad.. But wait.. Maybe.. meant to be.." Bearly-eyed, Poog is slow to get to his feet , but he quickly notices his friend's much worse injuries."Mogmurch look much worse! Needs healing snots. Hold on, Mog, Zarongel's blessing is on way!"
He reaches over and grabs Mogmurch's ear.
Poog falls with a slight Thud, his hands were too busy up his nose to hold the ropes. Lucky for him his fall was soft and right next to his booger buddy Mogmurch. He reaches out and grabs Mogmurch's rear, restoring some life force back to him. The frog just looks at Poog with a happy mouthful of Mogmurch, at least until Reta sends an arrow into it.
"RIIIIBBIIITTT!" It croaks and spits out Mogmurch, eyes training on the bowman. To Reta it sounds like a glorious green child screaming like a dying rabbit. Life as the hero is always hard.
Chuffy waffles with indecision. Stab? Or not stab? Stab? No stab?
Vorka watches from above, a new ball of fire in her hands and blood trickling out of the corners of her scorched lips.
Round 7/8... Bold are up!
Chuffy -1
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Vorka -27
Lord Longtongue -2
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Mogmurch -12 (Stable. Prone.)(Fire Breath Elixir (2 Left))
Poog -6
Reta
Party Buffs: Nil
Environmental Conditions: The woman is 10' up in a crow's nest with partial cover to ranged attacks from below. The middle deck is on the same level as the rear crow's nest and negates the partial cover. There are also ropes hanging down within reach of the rear deck that can be climbed, or climb up the central mast and follow.
Poog snatch's Mogmurch's slippery soul from certain roadkill. The unconscious goblin is mercifully oblivious to the close call.
A look that might actually be genuine concern crosses Chuffy's face as Moggy gets chomped by the oversized frog...though it's a toss-up as to whether it's concern for Moggy in particular or just a general 'things are going badly' sort of concern.
"Hey! You no eat Licktoads!" he cries as he circles around behind the frog and attempts to stab!
Chuffy skirts around the battlefield and then lunges at the cute, yet dangerously oversized frog. While he hopes Poog can provide a distraction, he is quickly disappointed when his buddy shrugs, not holding a weapon. Chuffy's borrowed sword bounces off the frog's thick skin. But hey, he did gain the attention and 'affection of a giant frog!
Lord Long Tongue opens up his giant mouth and tries to do what he did to 'Fire Man' to this 'Stab Man'. "RIBBIT." He croaks as he takes a sizable CHOMP out of Chuffy.
Vorka on the other hand slings another ball of fire at Reta "Don't think I forgot about you my little stew pot! Hehhehehe!" She cackles as the flame smashes into Reta, searing her melon. Another ball of flame appears in Vorka's hand after she tosses the other.
Round 8/9... Bold are up!
Chuffy -9
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Vorka -27
Lord Longtongue -2
----
Mogmurch -12 (Stable. Prone.)(Fire Breath Elixir (2 Left))
Poog -6
Reta -8
Party Buffs: Nil
Environmental Conditions: The woman is 10' up in a crow's nest with partial cover to ranged attacks from below. The middle deck is on the same level as the rear crow's nest and negates the partial cover. There are also ropes hanging down within reach of the rear deck that can be climbed, or climb up the central mast and follow.
"Rrrgh! You make cute frog go crazy and eat goblins!" Reta realigns her aim at Vorka.
Sorry froggy! Zarongel will heal you in froggy heaven once I kill crazy goblin lady!
"OW, GEEZE! STUPID FROG!"
Having already seen what the enormous frog can do with his tongue Chuffy knows it won't do him any good to try and drink the potion he's kept tucked away in his pants. So he tries one last desperate stab...
...and whiffs it. Or does he?
Wait, maybe he doesn't whiff it! But Chuffy still takes a step back.
"Moggy still bleed! Need more heals, this time using stick!" Poog takes out his wand of cure light wounds and taps Mogmurch with it.
*BURP!* Head and upper torso half-swallowed inside the giant frog's cavernous mouth, Mogmurch returns to consciousness with a belch. "What happened?"
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Just when everything seemed to be going wrong with the goblin heroes, Lady Luck swung heavily back in their favor over the span of just six seconds.
First: Chuffy reveals his bested and most prized possession: A T Shirt emblazoned with GI JOE then takes a slice out of the frog.
Second: Reta drills Vorka in the chest with an arrow, cutting easily through the leather and fitting nicely between a pair of ribs. The old goblin cannibal clutches at the arrow shaft and looks at Reta and says one final thing "Please no eat frog..." Then leans over and plummets like a stone onto the deck of the ship. SPLAT
Third: Almost at the same time, Poog heals Mogmurch enough to revive the Lord of Flames. He sits up and eyeballs the offending frog, who doesn't look too pleased his lunch rises again.
Fourth: Mogmurch exacts revenge on the slippery amphibian of unusual size, belching a hot, frog flavored blast into Longtongue's face, frying him where he stood. FLOP
Behind Poog there is a door slightly ajar, but its still a door, not a jar. The only sounds that can be heard are the songs of the swamp and the crashing waves of the ocean.
"Stupid... lady... charming... frogs..." Reta pants. "Goblin heroes. Always prevail!" She looks around. "You guys okay? Let's take a look around."
Mogmurch pulls a hollow gourd from his pants, pops the cork off with a thumb, and downs an extract. When that fails to bring him back to full strength, he downs one of his two remaining potions.
Rifling through Vorka's stuffs, Mogmurch looks up at Reta's suggestion. "Yeah, let's find them fireworkses."
"We win, we win!" Poog cheers. "And Mogmurch safe, and alive. Big relief for Poog to be able to place healing boogs in all the right spots."
"Okay. Me get healing."
"Ooh! Great!" Reta looks around, toward the slightly ajar door.
Mogmurch strips the scorched and broken Vorka of her gear. On her he finds: potions of cure light wounds (3), potions of barkskin +2 (1), Desnan candle; Other Gear leather armor, scimitar, and 6 darts.
Inside the slightly ajar door, the group peers in to see the following:
The air in this cabin is thick and close, stinking of swamp and sweat, with a thick, glistening layer of mud on the floor and swaths of oily fungus clinging to the walls. Even more dangling decorations of goblin bone and animal-part fetishes hang from the ceiling on lengths of sinew here, and what appears to be a nest made of rags, sticks, mud, and castoff bits of clothing lies against the westernmost wall. But scattered amid the filth and clutter are several exotic-looking man-made objects—including a tantalizing red chest. Mmmmmm Giant Red Chest....
"Hmm..." Reta sticks her huge big boned head through the door. The mud is nice, but the goblin bones... yuck!
But what's with the chest?
"Maybe fireworks in the chest?" She smiles and looks around for any danger.
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"WOO! Licktoads tell story of fight to goblin babies forever and ever!" Chuffy crows as they snatch victory from the jaws of defeat.
"That really hurt, though...Chuffy get healed too, okay?"
"Okay, mostly better now," the stabby goblin remarks happily. He looks around as Reta says something about a big chest, pushing through the others to get a better look inside the room.
"Ooooooooooh...fireworks or other cool stuff, yeah! Chuffy check it out too!"
Assuming nothing inside the room seems to be obviously dangerous, he moves into the room and over to the chest, eyeing it greedily.
And if it doesn't seem dangerous, he'll try to open it...or pick the lock and then open it...
Not wanting to waste much time, and of course after that fight they'd for sure earned it, Reta takes a close look at the chest, being quite careful that its not a giant booby trap. Chuffy on the other hand only sees a big red chest and pops it up and open... Lucky for the group the chest appears to be neither trapped or locked. Inside this big fancy chest they have found what they came for: about half full of fireworks! The fireworks in the chest consist of 14 Desnan candles, 20 paper candles, and seven skyrockets. One could surmise its contents have been used over the years, many of which Scribble Face stole. Either way, there should be enough here for the Chief to be pleased. Hopefully.
It appears that besides visiting the rest of the crow's nests, the group has explored the beached ship to its full extent. Now for the march home.
Treasure: The man-things—objects that once belonged to the crew of Kaijitsu’s Star but were left behind when the crew abandoned ship—are certainly worth something. The majority of these objects are filthy and broken, but 10 minutes or so of sorting and scavenging turns up some interesting finds. All of these items (broken and functional alike) are strangely decorative, depicting colorful serpentine dragons, towering cliffs, delicate humanoid figures, and strange pagodas—not that a goblin would know a pagoda from a tool shed. Even the filthy or broken clutter here could be worth about 600 gp to the right collector, but as they are mostly made of bamboo, exotic wood, and in some cases paper, they’re probably more fun to burn. Among the more obviously valuable objects are 140 gp, a bejeweled silver and jade lantern built to look like a coiled dragon worth 150 gp, a dozen masterwork shuriken, an ivory and gold fan depicting a gecko walking amid cherry blossoms worth 80 gp (the reverse side of this fan has been used by Vorka to draw a crude map of Brinestump, not unlike the one Scribbleface created, and contains a secret that the goblins are unlikely to decipher anytime soon), a long hairpin with a red pearl at one end worth 150 gp, a wand of create food and water with only 2 charges left, and an elixir of love in a crystal vial shaped like a heart (the vial itself is worth 50 gp).
After a bit of rest, some healing, probably some well deserved snacks and much haggling and claiming of found treasures, the group gets on their way back to the Licktoad Village. After a couple of hours of retracing their steps while lugging home a very large and heavy red chest, they arrive back at the outskirts of the village. It seems pretty quiet, most of the village is still sleeping off the after effects of too many cider apples and the late night. It doesn't take long however for Slorb to get word of your return, and then of course the Chief. The group is quickly, and quietly ushered into the Chief's Big Hut to give a report. The Chief slouches up in his oversized chair with a night cap pulled down over his eyes to block the light streaming in from the smoke hole in the roof.
"Well, are you here as heroes with fireworks or are you here as failures like Patsy McMullins?" Slorb points to the last remaining whelp from the night before that fled into the darkness. He's been tied to a stake in the floor with a section of the Rusty Ear Biter tangled around him for good measure.
"Oh hey Chief!" Reta is quite cheerful on her way back. she opens he chest. "Look at all of this paper we can burn. Oh, and Brinestump map!" She's quite proud of her findings.
"Wait, what were we supposed to get?"
"Fireworks! We found them!" Chuffy exclaims, giving Reta a kick. "And other cool stuff too, like Reta say. Mebbe burn good, not sure."
"Oh...and here really really really cool stabber back," he adds, handing over the Gorge of Gluttons to either Slorb or to the Chief himself...though not without a bit of longing in his eyes. "It stab really really really good. Stab Lotslegs and evil demon horse and evil demon dogs and all sorts of stuff that needed stabbin'!"
"Yeah, we brought all of Vorka's boom-boom," Mogmurch says, dumping out the chest that Reta opens. "We be heroes."
During his downtime, Mogmurch sets up a still, crafting a strange brew he christens 'Orange Goblin Whiskey Leech.' He sells it to every goblin whelps who can produce a fake ID, till his inventory is depleted.
"Bestest goblins of all the lands, Poog say! Now Poog gather up more of Zarongel's blessings for next journey, where Poog even more strong!" The goblin tries to sneak a desnan candle away for his own keeping and may even get away with it!
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Chief pulls his hat up to allow one bloodshot eye to peer out, looking over the group with a pained look on his face. His gaze lingers angrily on Reta for a moment before Chuffy and Mogmurch swoop in to redirect it to both his favorite sword and the chest of fireworks.
"And what of my ring?" His eye scans the four goblins' hands for signs of his most precious, and helpful band. After collecting the ring he continues as Slorb looks through the stash of fireworks, taking a tally for the Chief.
Slorb holds up his hands three times to show just how many fireworks they brought back. Apparently three hands is enough.
"Excellent. Tomorrow we have a big feast to celebrate, and crown you all biggest Licktoad Heroes since me. Until then, I have one more gift to give..." His voice trails off and his pulls his night cap back down low, leaning back in his chair to rest his pounding headache.
From the back entrance to the hut, over near the imprisoned Patsy struts in a 'sturdy' goblin 'strumpet', Chief's eldest daughter Gupy Wartbits. With a crinkled, horrified face she socks the poor whelp in the face with a mean left hook before hollering up to Daddy in his chair.
"DADDY! Not that little one in the cage, he's MUCH too weak for your little Princess..." Her eyes quickly move towards the goblin heroes, lustily looking each of them over as she pulls on her greasy brown locks.
Those eyes permanently lock onto the one, the only Mogmurch. "That one Daddy, the one with the bug mark on his head!" She rushes over and hip checks the other goblins out of the way and plants a wet one right between his eyes. "You're my new husband! Come on, I'm gonna show you my room..." She tugs on his hand to leave with increasingly more and more urgency.
"Woo! We heroes!" Reta cheers. "Bye bye Mogmurch! Maybe Zarongel keep you strong tonight!" She waves him off.
Reta's spends her time continuing her archery. Crazy goblin eating goblins, crazy horse ladies and giant confused frogs. This world is crazy.
"Sorry, Gupy." Mogmurch trips over his own feet. "Gotta go."
"I think that witch and her frog did something awful to me." He races away before the princess can object.
Chuffy slowly picks himself up off the ground from where Gupy had hip-checked him. A number of thoughts race through his head.
How much trouble Chuffy get into for stabbing Chief's daughter? Maybe just one warning stab?
Oh boy, more feast! And games! Chuffy will do even betterer this time!
Is death by snu snu real? Better Moggy than Chuffy...
Having gotten to his feet once more, Chuffy grins and pumps his fist. "We be heroes! Again! This best day EVER!"
At least, until the next day...
Mogmurch runs in the other direction, laying down a lame, but still believable excuse to why he can't accept such an honor. "Well, ok. Witches can do some weird things I bet.. right Daddy?"
Her gaze moves over towards POOG instead. "Aww, this one is super cute, I choose him instead. Let's GO!" There is no question in that firm statement. She latches onto Poog's arm and starts dragging him out to 'see her room'.
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"Zarongel save Poog..." The defeated goblin cries as he's dragged away in the not-so-tender grasp of the 'Princess'.
Give a tribe of goblins a fire work and let it fly!
Bring in a whole CHEST of fireworks and look out! The week after their hard fought trip to the coast to rescue fireworks from the old ship and her goblin cannibal squatter is both the best and worst week in the recorded/oral history of the Licktoad Tribe.
Wildlife ran scared from a ten mile radius as the sounds of explosions and the smell of smoke instilled a long developed primal fear into them. A fear goblins somehow never seemed to develop... Goblin casualties mounted by the day as fires burned down at least half the huts, Squealy Nord's pig pen, and about a three mile radius around the village. Explosions shredded dim witted whelps and goblins alike that got too close or waited too long to let the rockets go.
Desnan candle fights were set up on a nightly basis, only one night did everyone make it back to camp: the night it poured hard. Lucky for them it put out the fires in the village, saving Chief's Big Hut from his third rebuild in the last month.
Finally after that amazing and destructive week Chief called in the heroes once more "Go back. Go back to ship and look closer, find MORE fireworks!" And with that the group was sent back on a mission doomed from the start. They were far too thorough the first time. Nary a candle with more than an unburnt tip remained. The next day they returned to find their village quiet and smelling of extra strong BBQ and burnt hair. In the center of the village, in the great bonfire ring, lie a heap of burnt goblin bodies. Wiped out mercilessly by LONGSHANKS!
Were they attracted to the sounds and smells of fireworks? Maybe. Were they getting revenge on that destroyed wedding from a few weeks back? Reasonable idea. Was the village a sitting duck with most of the goblins dead or gone looking for more fireworks? YUP!
You are the heroes of the Licktoad Tribe, living legends after you triumphed against the terrible goblin cannibal Vorka and recovered many fireworks from her lair. Your tribe used the fireworks to great effect, but one day while you were out scrounging for more fireworks, adventurers came into the swamp and wiped out your tribe. You returned to your home to find it in ruins.
Now homeless, you have decided to travel to the closest tribe of goblins you know about—the Birdcrunchers. Maybe they’ll have room for you to join! Only, now that you’ve arrived in Birdcruncher territory, something seems wrong. The Birdcrunchers appear unusually nervous and frightened, cowering around the entrance to their cave. They aren’t even trying to defend their territory. And now, a wrinkled old goblin with bulging eyes is waddling out of the crowd, approaching you. She’s obviously some sort of shaman—maybe even the chieftain. If anyone here knows whether or not you can join the tribe, it’d likely be her!
"“Well, well! What have we here? Licktoads, by the look of you, and from what I hear, orphans as well, hmm? Looking for a new place to live, I suspect? Well, you might be in luck, because we need new blood. Our own chieftains have been... lacking... in chieftainish ways. We’ve been having problems lately with an ogre and his fire-breathing boars, you see, and any goblins capable of killing the boars and driving off the ogre... or driving off the boars and killing the ogre... or... or whatever—well, they’ll not only be welcomed into Birdcruncher territory with open arms. They’ll be made chieftains, one and all!”
With that, the gathered Birdcruncher goblins suddenly animate into cheers and song. Eager and excited, they surge out of the cave to welcome their saviors, but suddenly freeze as the old woman shrieks out a command for silence. The goblins freeze in place, and she continues in a softer voice. “But we can’t just assume you’re the stuff chieftains are made of. You might just be lucky. No, no... before we accept you as our saviors and before you’ll even have a chance to face off against Pa Munchmeat and his pig... I declare we have a Chieftain Moot!” The crowd unfreezes and the cheers rain down even harder this time at the mention of a 'Chief Moot', whatever that is.
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Reta loves the scent of smoke in the morning. She also likes shooting the wicks off of candles and shooting fuses. She wonders if the fireworks are shooting up to the great Zarongel. But she does wonder if it's too much celebration. It's not like they killed dog kennel or something.
She doesn't mind heading back to the ship to check for more. Something feels just right about checking it. Or maybe Zarongel was guiding her away. Either way she kept her mouth shut and her friends close.
What a mess. The village is wiped out. The Chief is gone, too. Is Poog's wife alright? Wasn't Mogmurch having trouble with his lady? Oh well, that's one way to end relationships.
"Hmm. Licktoads die the way they want to live. Lots of fire and fireworks." Reta tugs her torn wedding dress. "But where do we live now?"
The trip is quiet, but Reta enjoys aiming and target practice on small birds and other food. Not too long do they arrive at the Birdcrunchers. Wimps, most of them. But the shaman... she knows heroes when she sees 'em!
"Of course we will help! We are heroes! ...what's a Chieftain Moot?"
"Chieftain Moot?" Mogmurch asks. "Do ya eat it like a pie, or do ya drink it like warm ale?"
"Hmph!" Poog seems awfully agitated as he stomps his way into the cave. "Poog rather lick toads than crunch birds, but here we is. Rest of heroes here, at least," tossing a thumbs up at Reta, Mogmurch, and Chuffy, Poog plants himself in the ground and begins digging through his face in search of today's quota of nostril treasures. "Oooh, this one juicy, maybe this is Chieftain Moot?"
"Dunno...birds sound tasty," Chuffy remarks, licking his lips. "But you heard lady, gotta do Chieftain Moot thingy first! Um, whatever that is. But we be heroes! Is no problem, right?"
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The old woman with bulgy eyes and wrinkled skin that greeted you waves you into the cave in the side of the cliff then hobbles in leaning on her old gnarled wood staff decorated with puppy tails and horse ears. She wears a ratty doghide gown cinched with a rope belt from which hang dog’s paws, a pair of horseshoes, a fearsomely large dead stirge, and the pickled and shrunken head of a bright blue mite. For some reason the word Yoda bounces around inside your oversized and currently underfed brain cases as you see the old woman lead you inside.
Inside the cave is very large, much larger than even your old Chieftan's hut back at the Licktoad Goblin camp. As spacious as it is there are quite a few sleeping spots crammed in close together. Some looking like they've been there a while, and others being less stinky and still having that 'new damp smell'. The few goblins that were inside hop up nervously as newcomers show up, but their reactions quickly go from apprehension to excitement as news spreads of the coming 'Chieftain Moot'.
Once inside the old woman takes a seat on a rounded rock and stares at the four goblin outsiders before her, looking them each in the eyes and looking over what sort of armor, weapons and visible treasures they carry. "I am Mummy. At least everyone calls me Mummy, so you can call me Mummy too." She shifts her backside on the rock a bit, looks over and drags someone's stuffed rag of a pillow over and sides it under her old bony tookus.
"Now, where was I.. oh. You keep asking what a Chieftain Moot is. Didn't Licktoads have Chieftain Moots?" Seeing a lack of any lightbulbs going on in anyone's brains she sighs "Maybe you should have, got you stronger Chief..." She whistles slowly, adding in the inuendo and letting it linger a moment.
"Moot where Chieftains in waiting prove they worth of being crowned high Chief of Bird Cruncher Tribe." She nods, hoping some of this makes sense. "Not all goblins good enough to be Chief! Best goblin wins the challenges and is crowned Big Chief. Big Chief then can name back up Chiefs.. in case needed." She smiles.
"Now, we have much to do to get ready. Tomorrow the Moot. Today the day before Moot... big party. Rest up, make selves at home. Meet new friends, find spot to sleep, get mind ready!" She gets up and hobbles off to direct goblins in preparation. Fires start being prepped for cooking, goblins head off with handfuls of rocks and bows outside, and whelp cages get banged on and scolded at. The scene buzzes with excitement, hope and curiosity of newcomers.
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"Oh, test for new chief?" Reta's brain cells (what's left of them anyway) light up. "Oh! New party and new Chief! Then we fight... uh whatever that problem was." Reta shrugs and talks to the goblin whelps.
"You grow big and strong, and then you can carry dogslicer!" Reta pulls out her own and brandishes it like a cool goblin hero would. "Or you take a bow and nock an arrow. See horse's eye and... TWANG!" Reta plucks her bow string, aiming it at an imaginary horsey.
It's amazingly impressive in her mind. Everyone's going to think she's so cool!
"So, my Birdcruncher brothers and sisters," Mogmurch looks around at his future subjects, "where can a fella get his claws on things that go boom?"
"Come to Poog, new bird crunch friends," Poog beckons for some of the newly met goblins to come near him, likely to mixed success.
"Form circle, and Poog tell story of goblin heroes, Zarongel and bravery and horse chopping and .. and... FIREWORK EXPLODING.." His little hands spread above his head, Poog pantomimes the explosion for an absurd amount of time. Then he continues to explain the goblins' trials thus far, animating the tale with his body. "Then drop firework down chimney and BOOM!"
Half a dozen young goblin whelps drop the rocks they were chewing on and look up to Reta as she approaches. Small tendrils of drool mixed with blood from their raw gums dribble down the corners of their mouths. Their eyes follow her movements like six kittens following a laser pointer as she mimes shooting a horse. It doesn't take long though for them to figure out she's not giving them any food and they go back to chewing rocks and biting each other.
Mogmurch approaches the pair of goblin women that just finished waking up the whelps, they sort of shrug their shoulders a bit "Like big booms of fire? Not sure, maybe ask Mummy. Chief had fire stuff..." Their attention is quickly stolen away by Poog who's telling the best story they've ever heard, wandering away to listen.
It doesn't take long for Poog to draw a crowd, one by one all the members of the tribe within earshot gather around to hear the tale of amazing bravery and exciting fireworks, even Mummy joins the crowd silently to the side, listening with a smile on her face.
"Tell us more about these firework boomers... oh, and the new guy with skull on head, he want some!" She nods to her friend, and then the three goblins nearby nod, then the whole crowd starts nodding about fireworks "Fireworks, we want fireworks!" After about half an hour Mummy finally gives goblins the death-stare to get back to work cooking and prepping does the crowd break up a bit.
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After Mummy explains what a Chieftain Moot is, Chuffy's brows furrow in thought...something that doesn't happen too terribly often. He continues to think - looking rather constipated as he does - and then finally nods.
"Licktoads sorta do...d...dided that," he responds. "We play lots of games before go out to be heroes! No get to be Chieftain though...not even Second Chieftain or or...Bazillionty Chieftain."
Chuffy considers this some more while Poog tells the Birdcrunchers their totally awesome origin story.
"Chuffy think maybe we get raw deal, sorta, if other tribes let goblins who do gooder at games be Chief."
But his expression brightens and he grins, showing off his sharp, pointy teeth. "But they all dead now so it okay. We start new here, play games goodest and be best Chieftains ever!"
The group spends the afternoon doing a little bit of meet and greet with some of the tribe’s members, but after Poog’s story Mummy scolds the goblins if they spend too long socializing and not enough time prepping and cooking. The mood of the locals though is positive, if not a slight bit of nervous energy.
After a few hours the cave really starts to smell like a feast is brewing. All manner of aromas that are different from the usual fish meals the Licktoads would prepare (to be honest, the Bird Crunchers seem to be head and shoulders better cooks, or maybe birds just smell better cooking.) Poog has a few steaming samples snuck to him as the goblins really seem to like the little guy.
That evening, a huge feast is held around the cave’s central bonfire. Mummy opens the night by standing before the crowd and making fire appear out of no where in the palm of her hand and tossing in to light the central bonfire. ”Let’s eat!” She proclaims!
You’re totally sure that’s the produce flame spell. Awesome!
The feast consists almost entirely of various bird dishes—seagull soup, charred grackle, raven’s-eye pudding, vulture-ups, spicy sparrow poppers, and squeaky beakies are just a portion of the often-challenging dishes presented to the PCs during the night. The dishes are all highly touted by their associated cooks, eager to impress the Chief’s in waiting. ”Good huh? Secret is good fresh sea water. Make feathers come off real fast, meat nice and salty!” One chubby goblin professes as he ladles seagull soup into Chuffy’s bowl.
As darkness falls, Wise Mummy brings out the fabled Crunchy Crown of the Birdcruncher Tribe—a crown made from bird skulls and bones and wings and twigs. She places the Crunchy Crown near the bonfire with care and reverence before turning and addressing both the heroes and the Birdcrunchers. ”Tomorrow, the Birdcrunchers will have a new chief, and this one will be able to kick that ugly Munchmeat ogre out of Ravenroost! But not before great Chieftain Moot claims the best one for the job.”
”Whoever proves they are as great as Poog’s story claims they are tomorrow at the moot will be granted the right not only to wear Crunchy Crown, but also the right to loot the Chieftain’s treasure chest!” The stuffed, yet still enthusiastic crowd stands and cheers! ”Woooo we gonna have new Chiefs!”
It took some warming up, and a few nervous glances over their shoulder for Mummy, but a goblin whispers the following to you: ”If you become new Chief, be real careful looking for Ogre and his fire breathing pig. Last three Chiefs not come back… “
Reta digs right in to the feast. "Salty, yes!" She eats up.
"Yaah! Crown show who is the biggest hero. Maybe it's me. Maybe it's Poog. Maybe we all win. But Birdcrunchers will be biggest, bestest tribe ever!"
"Woo!"
"Only uh...only one...(one?)...only one crown," Chuffy points out, happily slurping away at his seagull soup. "How we all be Chief if only one - (it one, right?) - crown? Ooh! Maybe cut into pieces for all of us?"
As everyone eats and slurps and munches and crunches, Chuffy tries to keep his ears open for any cool gossip or stories...
...but hot dang, the food keeps commanding his full attention! It's that good!
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Poog is filled to the brim with excitement when Mummy creates flames with her hands just like he does, only with a different spell. "You make fire like Poog make fire!"
His eyes widened on the crown, Poog slurps up the rest of his seagull soup and throws the bowl aside. "Hmm, not fair only one crown, we is all goblin heroes! Maybe form goblin stack and put crown on top?"
"No no, Mummy Yoda said one of us gets crown and becomes Chief, but Chief can nom-in-ate other backup Chiefs. So one get crown, others get to backup crowned Chief." Reta lifts her head from the Seagull stew long enough to remind everyone, then dunks her football-shaped head back into the soup.
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"Nom-and-ate? Chuffy not wanna be eated," he remarks with a shake of his head. "Like Poog's idea better! Goblin stack sounds awesome!"
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The evening proceeds with course after course of specially prepared dishes that pretty much are all head and shoulders above what the Licktoads generally ate. Perhaps the Birdcrunchers have become a bit more refined in their diets, or maybe they're just trying to make a good impression on their guests.
"Moot start in morning when sun get just over hill. Be ready." Declares Mummy as she retires from the party early, leaving the goblins to their own fun.