The goblins switch on stealth mode, which comes naturally to the small greenskins. Their feet step lightly and their stomachs cease growling, at least for the time being. As they pass near a single rickety farm gate allows passage through the wooden fence here, below an archway made of broken branches and bleached bones. A sign hangs from the arch, its words scrawled onto the wood with what looks like blood. Three severed, maggot-covered goblin heads sit on poles driven into the ground to the left of the gate. A second sign leans against these poles under the heads.
“Trespsrs wil b eatn!”
“Yous gobluns taste YUM! Send moar gobluns!”
---
An upturned boat, an old river barge by the look of it, sits in the mud here. The boat’s stern has been built into the fence, and a large hole has been smashed in the southern side to provide entrance to the dark hollow created by the hull.
Mogmurch doesn't notice much for tracks outside the fence, other than what is likely tracks from the boar they followed earlier. They lead under the fence and towards the hole in the side of the barge. The fence itself isn't all that great for keeping things in or out. With some effort you'd likely be able to squeeze through the openings or climb up and over it.
"Meh," Chuffy grunts as the group passes the two signs. "In new order, goblins eat YOU. Probably."
With there still being no apparent sign of anyone or anything Chuffy continues to edge towards the boat. "Mebbe slip in under fence, check out cool boat thing first?"
Still on guard for trouble, Chuffy begins to attempt to do just that...
Mogmurch points at the boat where Chuffy is moving towards. "Dat be where boar come from. Might be another boar dere. Me think they kin smell you...be give wide berth!"
As far as the goblins can see from their location, the only entrance is a hole smashed in the side of the barge, on the other side of the fence.
It takes the nimble Chuffy very little effort to squeeze between the fence rails and pop onto the other side. Other, less nimble, or perhaps big headed goblins, would have more trouble.
You move over to the hole in the barge and it seems to be blocked from the inside. Considering your earlier encounter with the rear end of a boar, this looks to be pretty similar but not flailing around trying to kill you.
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Chuffy considers this development for a moment and glances back toward his companions. He mimes rooting around for something with his face and then points back towards the hole in the ship.
Then he holds up...
...three fingers.
Then he waits to see what the others think.
"Hmm. Not get it. What Chuffy mean?" Poog whispers as he stalks ahead, closer to Chuffy, hoping to get a better look.
Mogmurch, being of better than average intellect (which is not saying much), whispers "Think he be saying three...somethings inside the boat." Deciding to creep just a TAD closer he sniffs the air, "Wonder if'n be more piggies?"
Reta sees signs with WORDS on them. Nope, not falling for that trap. No wonder other goblins died here, they must have tried to read it!
She has no idea what Mogmurch is trying to do. The Three Finger Salute? That dangerous when you don't shut down the machine properly first!
Chuffy's message is clear and obvious, to him at least. To everyone else three fingers can mean at least three different things. Poog takes his time squeezing through the fence rails and then can finally see what Chuffy means.
The other goblins eagerly await a Poogian translation from the other side of the fence.
The rest of the farm is still quiet, nothing seems to be noticing, or responding to their trespass.
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"Oooh, is this boar butt? Poog try to say hi!" Poog squints at the hole in the barge and tries to talk to the... butt.
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Poog preys to the great and omniscient Zarongel for the power of pig talk. He blinks his eyes a few times and feels the power running through his veins.. for the next three minutes at least.
He oinks at the pig butt wedged in the doorway and gets no response. Maybe he needs to oink louder or try waking up the sleeping slab of bacon another way?
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"We be goblins and we come in peace! Join goblin tribe and we ride you into battle against enemy boars! You breathe fire, Poog *make* fire!" Poog oinks. "Oh, we looking for an ogre. Have you seen him?"
Inside behind the wall of pork rinds everyone hears an excited and shrill squeal, it doesn't seem to be coming from the still sleeping pig blockade.
"Poog? I know Poog! Save Squealy Nord, please Poog Please! I even let you ride me into battle against that mean, nasty ogre!"
Looks like you're going to have to try to squeeze your way in past the ham sammich in the door or get drastic to wake it up. Talking to it doesn't seem to be doing the trick.
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"oOOoOoOOooh!" Poog's eyes light up as if he just saw Zarongel himself. He relays the message to Chuffy, Mogmurch, and Reta. "Legendary Boar Squealy Nord is here! We have to help and he help us after!"
Reta tries not to gasp. "We have to find Squealy Nord! Ask piggie where Squealy Nord is?"
From the familiar sounds of all that squealing going on in there, that IS squealy Nord!
The oinking and squealing between Poog and inside the barge continues. Ramping up in pitch and excitement.
The door blockade stirs a bit and lets out a vicious snore and accompanying fart but doesn't yet wake.
"Wait what."
Chuffy blinks; all he'd been trying to do was let his friends know about the big pig butt he'd found and now Poog's making words with the pigs and somehow Squealy Nord is here?
"Um...wait so the pig butt is Squealy? Or know where Squealy is? Or is Squealy a ghost pig now? Can we even rides a ghost pig? Would be pretty neato if we could..."
Chuffy has many questions!
"If'n we gits Squealy Nord to help us, then we be showing da ogres a t'ing or two!" Mogmurch nods excitedly.
The plight of a pig in need overwhelms Reta, and she's not sure what to do from here. Keep it together girl! Heroes never falter!
"It is the Squealy Nord, Poog swear!" Poog hops around, eager to do something. "Come, we wake him up!"
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"Stabbing always a good choice," Chuffy sagely agrees. "Poog get honors since Poog being brave for a change!"
Poog pokes the rump roast a few times before it finally stirs and spins around, slowly revealing the snout to go with the hairy backside. A truly obese sow stands on spindly legs, it oinks and grunts at Poog and his entourage, still blocking the doorway.
"Who brought us tasty goblins? Must be Pumba." She sticks her head out the door to look around and doesn't see what she expects. "Pa gonna give me extra slop for sure!"
She grunts, a mean look in her eyes and more of those gourds dangling around her neck. Its obvious this pig isn't Squealy, but you can catch glimpses of another smaller pig in the back of the barge.
"WHOA! Fattest piggy EVER!"
Chuffy narrows his little beady eyes and licks his lips.
"Fat make everything tastier..."
Still, eager as he is to commence the stabbinating, he glances at Poog, Pig Whisperer of Zarongel. "We stab now or wait?"
Reta readies her bow. This could get noisy...
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Mogmurcg grabs one of his precious bombs and prepares to toss it, "Seems like Squealy has a girl piggy...like Miss Piggy?"
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"No eat goblins, help goblins stop ogre," Poog pleads, oinking back at the boar. "Besides, ogre taste better than goblin. Saw good ogre recipe on last episode of Goblin Ramsay."
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Princess Cacklin' grunts in response to Poog's submissive but well articulated squeals and oinks. She steps aside and lays back down in a heap of her own dung.
"Do what you want, I'm gonna take a nap. Either he'll kill you and I'll eat you, or you'll kill him and I'll eat him instead. Win win for me, now go away."
A very grungy and excited pig walks over and squeals, rubbing himself up against you and nudging his nose against your chests.
"Poog saved me! I'm so happy I could sing! Let's get out of here and get those mean ogres!"
"Squealy Nord now our friend!" Poog cheers. "Not sure about other small pig, she went to sleep now. But Nord says let's go get mean ogres, so let's go!"
Reta bows politely to Squealy Nord. "Wow... Poog! Ask Squealy Nord if I can ride him!"
Assuming Nord doesn't mind, Reta wonders if she can hop on and ride force.
"Oh man, with Squealy Nord on our side we be...um, we be...we be...STUPID OGRES NOT STOP US NOW!" Chuffy cheers, completely forgetting for a moment to be quiet.
"Other pig wanna sleep? Eh...her loss. But Chuffy kinda get it. Sleep is good," he adds with a shrug.
He looks around. "We go peek tiny hut next?"
______________
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Mogmurch lets out a breath he hadn't realized he'd been holding. "Nice work there Poog, now dem ogre's don't stand a chance!" He takes out the fire-gourds and hands them to Poog, "Say Moggy say hi and dis treats be tasty for him!"
When Chuffy suggests checking out the hut he barely manages to avoid bursting out laughing, "Chuffy, you need to do DAT stuff BEFORE taking any long trip!"
While both Reta and Poog have glorious visions of riding the noisy Squealy Nord like the second coming of Zargongel, both quickly realize that he's not big enough to carry them effectively.
All is not lost however as Reta and Mogmurch notice some useful looking stuff poking out of the refuse piles around the pig sty. A rusty flask has some liquid in it. A really well made light crossbow looks in perfect shape minus a few gouges in the wooden stock from pig teeth. And a bronze scroll case sticks up out of some old pig shit in the corner. Squealy has a guilty look on his face when they retrieve the crossbow "Sorry, I'm starved!"
This rusty flask has a potion of blur stored in it!
This crossbow is magical. +1. You can probably find some bolts around if you dare...
This scroll case looks and smells like its gone through a pig's anus. But its got a scroll of flaming sphere inside!
Once the looting is complete the group makes its way towards the small hut nearby. Squealy follows behind Poog closely, happily oinking the entire time as he sniffs everyone's pockets and backpacks for tasty snacks. He's certainly making sneaking difficult.
This flimsy structure seems to have started out as a workshed, but its sagging walls have been almost entirely overtaken by rampant plant life.
Eagle eye Mogmurch spots three familiar looking gourds in the tangle of vines inside the shed through the sagging door. Do you dare retrieve them?
"Ooooh...dis hold magic...uhhh...make hard to see!" He proudly displays his small pair of spectacles, "Dese help you see better!"
When Mogmurch notes the gourds hanging up in the shed his eyes light up like a firecracker. "OOHH more fire-gourds! Dey must be easy to get...right? Still dose not be easy to get...uhhh...mebbe Chufs go see..."
Reta realizes Squealy Nord is too small. But hey, it's good to see a returning character.
As they reach the hut, Reta keeps her longbow ready. "Nice loot? Maybe we get more gourds before Munchmeat show up?"
"Get fire-booms? Chuffy can do it! Chuffy can do it nine times!"
Which doesn't really make a whole lot of sense, but hey - 'A' for enthusiasm, right?
The little goblin motions for the others to stand clear and then he begins to try and creep forward into the shed, eyes on the prize(s)...
Just messin' with ya. Free loots!
Mogmurch is far too chicken to risk his own neck so he sends in a proxy on a fire rescue mission. Chuffy sneaks inside, not his best work, especially with the loud Squealy right outside.
He looks left. He looks right. He even remembers to look up and down (damn eatslottagoblinbabies)! Looks clear. He plucks the three gourds from where they were growing on a vine and tip toes back outside to the others.
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"Hah! Told you Chuffy could do it nine times," Chuffy smugly remarks as he emerges from the little shed, holding up the three gourds for all to see. "We got, uh...lots now, right? One for all of us?"
He shoves one of the gourds into his pack and then holds the other two out for whoever wants them.
"Chuffy think BIG shed should be next! Gonna go take a peek," the eager goblin grins once the gourd thing is sorted out. Without waiting for any real input from the other, Chuffy tries to creep closer to a window or crack of whatever in the main house to get a better look...
"One day Squealy Nord grow bigger and you able to ride him, Chief Reta," Poog whacks the boar on the rump. "Until then he serve Birdcrunchers as minion."
He stalks ahead with Chuffy on his muddy tiptoes.
"Me be the smartz one...why me tellz others what to do...what dey call that again?" Mogmurcg wonders as he absently grabs one of the gourds and stuffs it into his pouch. As the team moves out he also enters stealth mode...
Reta nods, pulls her cloak around her, and dreams of riding Squealy Nord into battle. Maybe a theme song, too. Complete with BIFF and POW as she shoots her foes!
Chuffy scouts the house area as the others do their best to stay close and quiet. Their Piggy friend though has other ideas as he continues snorting and chirping at Poog since he can talk back.
"Yup, big mean ogres live in there I bet. Gawd I hate that guy! Wears a weird bone skull thing on his head and carries a big fiery spear! What an a~!#~+$, can't wait to kick dirt on his face and bite off his nose!"
The entire house is up on wooden stilts, raised off the muddy ground about 9 feet. It looks like it was built in two sections. One with a wooden plank roof and another higher story to the right. A flat, circular cupola with a sagging roof sits atop the house. There is a steep wooden ramp that allows access to a shut wooden door on the lower level of the main floor of the farmhouse .
Beneath the stilted home there is a large open area underneath that has been filled with straw, branches, and uprooted underbrush—something big has made a nest of it: a big mound of feathers takes up a large portion of the center beneath a trap door that is set in the ceiling above. Its much dryer under here than out in the yard.
Mogmurch pauses here, his face scrunched up in a bizarre contortion as he ponders the nest here. "Wonder what big bird live here...must be hunting for...big worms here. Mebbe nest have some flashy goodies here!"
Reta nods and moves toward the underside of the house to look at the nest.
"Guys, Nord says big mean ogre live here! Also he has fiery spear. You think what I think, Reta?" Poog rubs his hands together as if crafting a daring plan. "Imagine you ride into battle atop new, bigger Squealy Nord, carry flaming spear like lance! Joust longshanks to death!"
He's beside himself with excitement for some time, but when he does finally manage to calm down, Poog stays back and peeks over Reta's shoulder.
"Sure, mebbe find BIG egg...BIG egg mean BIG snack," Chuffy nods, licking his lips hungrily. He too attempts to stick to the shadows as the group approaches the nest...
Last we left our would be goblin heroes they were about to crawl under the ogre's house to investigate an overgrown nest of hay and sticks... Reta and Chuffy creep underneath while Poog and his Squealy friend create quite the ruckus outside. A low and angry warning Cluck? rumbles out of the nest of hay, its obvious something lives here! Through the mass of hay Reta, Poog, and Chuffy can all see what looks like an overgrown angry chicken thing sitting on a nest towards the back of the room!
Bold is up!
Angry Overgrown Chicken Thing!
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Mogmurch (18/23 HP)
Chuffy (23/26 HP)
Reta (21/24 HP)(-1 CON)
Poog (23/23 HP)
Party Buffs: None
Environmental Effects: Dusty and Dry, 9' Ceiling.
No time to think about what she's been doing recently! Reta takes aim and shoots the crazy chicken.