Evil Tim Tebow's page

Hail Satan!

-ett, Rev 3:16

Does anyone need a quarterback?

Anyone?

Hello?

-ett
Rev 3:16

I definitely feel that you should save your votes for the greater evil.

I'll see you in 2016.

-ett
Rev 3:16

<tebowing>

TEBOW! TEBOW! TEBOW!

<tebowing>

-ett
Rev 3:16

He's just keeping my seat warm for when I ascend to the throne in 2016.

-ett
Rev 3:16

Don't count me out. I'm still going to get my Super Bowl ring.

Serious as Dick Cheney's heart attacks.

-ett
Rev 3:16

Hey. Everyone is supposed to be talking about mmemeeeeeeeeee! I'm the superstar! WAAAAAH!

-ett
Rev 3:16

Jam412 wrote:

Apparently Tebow has taken some levels in paladin.

Perhaps Evil Tim Tebow has an opinion on this. :)

Force delayed Vulcan nerve pinch. It has a condition set when he'll drop down for no apparent reason in the field of play when he finally gets a chance to play against me when we're on opposing teams.

Dawkins is going to be Tebowned. He just doesn't know it yet.

In the meantime, there's disensanchizing to be done.

-ett
Rev 3:16

Don't get too comfortable in your current position, Sanchize. Before too long, you can take the bench and bang 17 year old strumpets with your buddy Leinart.

I'm going to be the king of the Big Apple. Move over, Eli Manning. Your two Super Bowl rings pale in comparison to the force that is Tebowmania! You will pay for your brother's transgressions.

-ett
Rev 3:16

I asked Jesus to deliver me a Super Bowl.

He delivers Peyton.

I didn't find it funny.

I'm going to make that horse-toothed ex-quarterback and bobblehead boy pay.

DEARLY.

-ett
Rev 3:16

I believe that faith has been replaced by tebow.

Patrick Curtin wrote:

*blink*

Monday. Ugh and the griping commences amongst the faithful flock of St Brady

*blink*

2012 will be the year of my jubilee. Transgressions shall be repaid down to the fourth generation. Vengeance will flow like honey.

Prepare New Orleans for my arrival.

-ett
Rev 3:16

Tomorrow is the first day of my 2012 campaign.

P.S. U mad Brady?

-ett
Rev 3:16

U mad Brady?

-ett
Rev 3:16

All of your plans will be for naught. My millennial reign is forthcoming.

Just as soon as I conquer the Babylonian Kardashian.

-ett
Rev 3:16

Big oil is no match for me.

<performs tebowing>

-ett
Rev 3:16

You all are just keeping my seat warm. Enjoy it while you can.

-ett
Rev 3:16

Your best friend's girlfriend from 20 years ago needs stones cast at her. What she needs is a healthy plate of Nibiru for breakfast.

-ett
Rev 3:16

I am Evil Tim Tebow and I approve Ryan Dancey's recommendation for advancement.

<executes Tebowing feat>

-ett
Rev 3:16

Your cupcakes have received my blessing. <assumes Tebowing position>

-ett
Rev 3:16

Your Paladin obsession? Unnatural.

For penance, you must perform a Tebowing 34 times.

Sincerely,

-ett, Lord of Denver
Rev 3:16

I would like some forums about Paladins and why I should be a optimal template of an archetype of one.

Those witches from Salem put a hex on me. I'm going to have to go all Matthew Hopkins on them for inflicting me with their hoodoo.

Brady? He was hopped up on Cialis.

You haven't heard the last of Tebow. The Lord's work is not done. Y'all need to continue to focus on the family while I focus on winning.

I am the comeback kid. I will unleash a fury of righteous tebowing come August.

You'll see.

-ett
Rev 3:16

Actually, I'm resorting to sacrificing goats in their end zone. They'll never see it coming.

-ett
Rev 3:16

Wait until you see who I'm going to be bringing to Gillette Stadium after my next miracle.

She's a looker, I tell you.

-ett
Rev 3:16

Evil Tim Tebow wrote:

The Steelers were alleged to have the number one rated defense in the league.

Were they really the best defense?

They lie worse than Beelzebub and Polamalu's concussion-like symptoms.

-ett
Rev 3:16

The Steelers were alleged to have the number one rated defense in the league.

Those geriatrics got TebOWNED. They obviously did not adhere to the mantra of St. Al Davis like I do.

Just win, baby.

Bring it, Billy. Make sure you have your spy cameras focused right on me at the 50 yard line in the 4th quarter.

Tebowing. Like a boss.

-ett
Rev 3:15

Remember to drink your Gatorade this Saturday. I'm going to bulldoze that sieve-like Patriots defense.

-ett
Rev 3:16

I will let you rule ... as regent ... for now.

-ett
Rev 3:16

After Saturday night, your eyes will be opened and your countenance will be of shock. With my game ending finishing maneuver, the Tebowing, there will be a reckoning unlike no other that will have occurred in the state of Massachusetts.

Prepare to be TebOWNED, Belichick.

Behold my glory.

-ett
Rev 3:16

Get your popcorn and rosary beads this Saturday.

Brady? He's going to get tebOWNED!

-ett
Rev 3:16

December 22, 2012. A new era will begin.

Prepared to be TebOWNED.

Resistance is futile.

-ett
Rev 3:16

I dedicate last night's victory to my father. Because he rules. And stuff.

Brady? Come get some. Prepare to be tebOWNED!

-ett
Rev 3:16

No one wanted to believe in me.

The unbelievers have been tebOWNED.

Suck it, Ben.

-ett
Rev 3:16

316 passing yards. Revelation 3:16.

Coincidence?

-ett

As it is the first Oathday of the month, a crowd has gathered at Pharasma's Pulpit. Crowds from outside of Cassomir have flocked to the city to see the condemned beheaded, hanged, drawn and quartered.

It is a baking hot day and you each stand facing a curious structure that stands tall in the central square

of Old Cassomir. Like so many of the crowd you are disgusted, shocked and plain curious about the events about to unfold.

The structure is built from wood, rope and mortar with a central platform thirty feet above the ground. It is a gallows, plain and simple. Once a month, those condemned to death for their crimes are marched from Swift Prison to meet their fate.

As you wait, unsure where to look, you become aware of a note tucked in one of your pockets that certainly wasn't there a minute ago. You glance around - seeing nobody that looks suspicious - and then take the note out of your pocket and read it.

As you look down, you see a black rat at your feet, its whiskers twitching and it appears to be looking right at you.

???

One player dropped out as soon as we started (some time ago), and one has just had to take an unfortunate indefinite leave of absence.

The players have thus voted to recruit two new PCs.

The link to the game is here.

Please review the posts and let me know, succinctly, what sort of character you think you would be creating in order to complement the group?

I'll keep applications open until Wednesday 3rd March.

Welcome to Cassomir

Before I give out the character creation information, I want you to all agree here on a party composition – namely race and class. It doesn’t matter what your suggested concept was. You can still go with that or switch to something else – if it suits the party.

How you decide is up to you – but I would frown on first come-first served. With seven PCs, you may choose to duplicate classes. It’s entirely up to you.

Once you’ve agreed…

Character creation

- Pathfinder rules (obviously)
- Epic Fantasy (25 point) ability score points
- 1st level characters
- Maximum hit points at every level
- 2 traits (anything from the Character Traits pdf except ‘Additional Traits,’ and from other sources e.g. third party or adventure paths by agreement)
- Pathfinder published races only
- Pathfinder published classes (including play-test) (from other sources by agreement)
- Starting gold – 300gp (no magic items)
- Background – The more you give me, the more I can use and the game will be interactive for you. The less I get means you will be more of an observer.
- More than just stats – Please make your descriptions match your numbers. I’ve seen too many stunningly beautiful but aloof female characters with a charisma score of 8. If you’re that beautiful, your personality would really have to suck to be rated an 8 overall. You get the idea.
- Starting point – Use this thread to see if some of you want to know each other before the ‘game’ starts. You will all start in one location and how it begins will depend on your interaction prior to that point.
- Once everyone has their character created (ideally use the site to post your data) then we can begin…the timing is up to you.

House rules
In no particular order - and don't worry, I'm not a control-freak GM, it's just easier to say these things up front

Magical items are hen’s teeth. When you find one, you’ll be so pleased; you’ll look to use it, not to sell it the first chance you get. That better reflects ‘real-life.’ If a level one swordsman fighter found a magic axe, he’d likely switch his weapon of choice.

If a party member makes a group decision and nobody contradicts within 24 hours, that’s what you all do. This rule can be amended if, for example, you appoint a party leader who could make the decision without a day’s wait.

No posting for 48 hours gets a frown. Real-life happens, but please post here if you know you’ll be away for any length of time.

No posting for over 24 hours when we’re waiting on you gets a frown and you’ll likely be NPC’d.

Too many frowns equals a strike-out. How many? I don’t want to put a number on it. 1 is too few, 100 is too many – so somewhere in-between.

I believe in real-world economics. Little villages don't have shops with +3 daggers, nor do they buy them. Their trade is too limited for one thing and they couldn't afford the security for another. This means that, from time to time, I won’t go off the book price. Cassomir is big enough to stock most things at 100% of the book price – but don’t rely on it.

XP. I don't dish it out every encounter. Instead, I have split the adventures up into sections and when you hit a milestone, I'll ask you to level up.

Pace. I’ll start by giving plenty of time to role-playing. If it’s too slow, let me know and I can minimise the NPC encounters and give you a précis of what happened.

Local knowledge aka meta-gaming. Try to advance characters in keeping with how you’ve role-played them. If you’ve become an expert on Cassomir, I would expect you to take a rank of Knowledge (Local) when you next levelled up.

Useful information about Cassomir

None of you are local, so detailed knowledge is pointless. I’ll send out a basic map soon and you can keep track of what is where if you want. At some point I’ll decide you have enough local knowledge and give you a master map with locations on it.

Cassomir is the second largest city in Taldor. It’s home to the Taldor Imperial Navy and the Imperial Shipyards. Strategically located at the mouth of the Sellen River, it serves as a trade city – connected to all of the kingdoms that touch the Sellen. Trade ships come in from all regions that are on the Inner Sea, and others that can access a port on the sea.

The Navy boards and checks every vessel that comes through the mouth of the Sellen and blows out of the water anything that chooses not to be boarded.

Finally, Cassomir acts as gateway to the Verduran Forest, a region of Taldor controlled by the empire but that it largely ignores.

Rumours and facts about Cassomir
But which are which?

City life revolves around water.

Cassomirites are religious people. Gozreh is revered above all others.

Many Cassomirites believe Aroden isn’t really dead.

The Wildwood Lodge maintains the trade agreement between Cassomir and the Verduran Forest.

Cassomirites believe they are better than most Taldorans.

Cassomir is home to five separate adventuring companies. Dog’s of Dog’s Teeth is the largest.

The shipyards are always plagued with rats.

Cassomir’s Locker is the name for the sewer system. The Pathfinder Lodge keep it locked from prying eyes due to the vast treasure within.

There is an underground city below Cassomir called Corgunbier. Its inhabitants steal unsuspecting Cassomirites for slaves.

The Imperial Navy regularly press-gangs law-abiding citizens if they happen to be in the wrong place at the wrong time.

Of late, the games I have joined have had a shorter shelf-life than a glass of milk on a hot day. So I decided to take control of matters and GM a second campaign.

I have been working for a month now on a home-brew affair – to compliment the AP I’m currently running. It’s set in Cassomir for a number of reasons:

1. The Cities of Golarion sourcebook
2. The associated beautiful map
3. The Taldor campaign sourcebook

Ideally I wanted an area that both excited me and that hadn’t been covered in pre-published adventures. This in theory excluded all areas with sourcebooks – but I pressed on regardless.

Taldor – and specifically Cassomir – offered enough scope to allow me to run something home-brewed without cutting across established adventures. But I digress…

This is not a first come, first served posting. I have done all of the background to start the game straight away, but I want to take a few days to allow players to see the post and come up with a reason why they should be included. I’ll accept emails until the end of this week-end (the 21st).

Those interested should email me at: cassomir at betternovelwriting dot com and not on this thread. This thread is for you to ask questions that I haven’t answered.

So what do I want from your email? I really need the following:

Why you as a player?
What do you want from the game? What can you bring to the game? Point me at a character that best demonstrates how you PbP.

What would be your character concept?
This could be as simple as a couple of lines. I do not want a full character. Please don’t invest the time in creating one (or worst still just point me to a pre-created one for a game that didn’t last). This character concept may not be used in the final cut – it is the player I am interested in at this stage, not the character.

What can I tell you that will help?

Posting
I expect players to post daily. I will use the board’s dice roller and will provide maps via Flickr or googledocs.

Players
I will start with 7 players. There will be no reserve list once the game starts. If one or two drop out, I have factored that in.

Style and substance
I will endeavour to use American spellings but my English will sometimes creep in (no apologies – just an observation). So I’ll make every effort to write armor when my brain wants to write armour.
I will use maps wherever possible and I will give plenty of opportunity to develop the story in the way you want.
I like to GM role-playing. I anticipate plenty of interaction between PCs and with the NPCs. If you only like combat, this is not the game for you.
I expect this to be an inclusive game. Players will have a big say in the party composition, adventures chosen etc. I will have house rules, but I’ll be clear and up front about these.

Background
Your characters will have arrived in Cassomir looking for adventure. Are you running from something or towards something? No characters will be locals. This will allow you to learn about the city as you progress.
What is your character’s goal? What separates them from the ‘vanilla’ heroes that I see so often? One house rule up front is that there will be no evil PCs.

Game length
I expect this to be a long campaign. I have over 100 ‘adventures’ sketched out already and you will head in the direction you want, not one an adventure path forces you down.
I will, however, insist that you remain in and around Cassomir though – at least to begin with.

Miscellaneous
Don’t worry about point buys, starting gold etc. That will be revealed when the party is agreed. I expect to start at 1st level – I know this has challenges but I want the group to grow together.

As stated before, use this thread for questions I haven't anticipated.

If you've read this far, thanks...I look forward to your email.

For any out of game notes, questions or general chat...

The Swallowtail Festival

The Swallowtail Festival begins promptly, as scheduled, on the first day of autumn. The square before the church quickly becomes crowded as locals and travelers arrive, and several merchant tents featuring food, clothes, local crafts, and souvenirs are there to meet them.

Welcoming Speeches

The turnout for the opening speeches is quite respectable, and the four keynote speakers each deliver short but well-received welcomes to the festival.

Mayor Deverin’s friendly attitude and excitement prove contagious as she welcomes visitors to town and jokes about how even Larz Rovanky, the local tanner (and notorious workaholic) managed to tear himself away from the tannery to attend, much to everyone’s but Larz’s amusement.

Sheriff Hemlock brings the crowd down a bit with his dour mood, his reminder to be safe around the evening’s bonfire, and his request for a moment of silence to remember those who lost their lives in the fire that claimed the town’s previous church five years ago.

Fortunately, Cyrdak Drokkus is more than up to the challenge of bringing the crowd’s mood back up with his rousing anecdotes as he delivers a not-completely-irreverent recap of the long process the town went through to finance and construct the new cathedral. He throws in a bit of self-promotion at the end, as is his wont, inviting everyone to stop by the Sandpoint Theater the following evening to check out his new production of “The Harpy’s Curse,” revealing that the lead role of Avisera the harpy queen will be played by none other than the famous Magnimarian diva Allishanda!

Finally, Father Zantus steps up give a short speech thanking everyone for coming before declaring the Swallowtail Festival underway.

Swallowtail Release

At noon, Father Zantus and his acolytes wheel a large covered wagon into the square, and after recounting the short parable of how Desna first fell to earth and was nursed back to health by a blind child who she transformed into an immortal butterfly as a reward for her aid, they pull aside the wagon’s cover, releasing the thousand children of Desna—a furious storm of a thousand swallowtail butterflies that swarm into the air in a spiraling riot of color to a great cheer from the crowd. Throughout the rest of the day, children futilely chase butterflies, never quite quick enough to catch them.

Lunch

Lunch is provided free, at the expense of Sandpoint’s taverns. Each brings its best dishes—this event is a marketing push by the taverns as much to win new customers as it is to feed a hungry crowd. It soon becomes apparent that the darling of the lunch is, once again, Ameiko Kaijitsu, whose remarkable curry-spiced salmon and early winterdrop mead easily overshadow the other offerings, such as the Hagfish’s lobster chowder or the White Deer’s peppercorn venison.

Consecration

Finally, as the sun begins to set, Father Zantus takes the central podium, uses a thunderstone to attract everyone’s attention, and clears his throat as he prepares to recite the Prayer of First Dreaming.

Please follow the link below to the map of the square in front of the church (Father Zantus is on the podium) and indicate approximately where you are standing.

This is the second post, as my first one disappeared.

I've never GMed a PbP before but I have plenty of GMing experience.

I'm looking to start a Rise of the Runelords campaign. I'll be using the Pathfinder core rulebook, the Player's Guide and the Pathfinder Character Traits Web Enhancement to create characters.

If you're interested, let me know what sort of character you'd like to play.

I'm looking to GM the Rise of the Runelords campaign via play by post. I've never run a PbP before (but I'm old enough to have GMed PBM as well as PBeM).

I'll be heavy on the role-playing and keep the dice rolling to a minimum to keep the game flowing.

I'll only be using the Pathfinder Core Rulebook (plus the Player's Handbook and the Pathfinder Character Traits Web Enhancement pdf).

If you're interested, give me a flavour of the character you'd like to play.