You want our knees and worms....? You can have some worms but I would prefer to keep my knees thank you.
Maybe you are warning us that there are worms on our knees?
Or do you want the knees of our worms....? Ummm worms don't have knees, you being an alien and all can be forgiven for that basic mistake in earth biology.
You are correct on one thing: earth biology is a basic mistake.
I have come to cleanse the Planet Houston.
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I have come to cleanse the Planet Houston.
Excellent.... You can start with the toilets. I had slab of the old amber fluid and a ring-stinger of a curry. Which obviously resulted in me having a technicolor yawn (I missed the bowl sorry), the curry resulted in me replastering the porcilane so to speak. So I am more than happy to pay somebody to clean up that mess.
Who do I make the payment out to...General Zod's intergalactic cleaners?
And I thought I wasn't a nice guy.
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All citizens of New Moorluckia have the right, no, THE DUTY, to take up arms and administer the Peoples Justice by laying the Final smackdown upon the deserving!
Well then!
Unlike some of the others, I don't want to rule a land (too much work). You could say I'm less ambitious than that. The way I see it, as I simply have different goals. I dont want absolute power. It involves too much paperwork. I want moderate but respectable amounts of power, and to be able to relax and not be hassled by people.
I could help by working in a covert ops team of some sort, and perhaps managing one, for a few years, and retire out in the country as a wealthy man after the war.
I am disappointed with you, Planet Houston.
There is only one way to settle this.
Your knees, worms.
Ah, "General" Zod. It's nice to see you again, I didn't know you'd been released from Four Corners Psychiatric Hospital. I see you're still wearing that medal you won in that battle against a box of Cracker Jacks.
Tell you what, how about you go sit over there and cleanse the bathroom. I'll give you a shiny button to pin on your lapel if you do a good job.
All citizens of New Moorluckia have the right, no, THE DUTY, to take up arms and administer the Peoples Justice by laying the Final smackdown upon the deserving!Well then!
Unlike some of the others, I don't want to rule a land (too much work). You could say I'm less ambitious than that. The way I see it, as I simply have different goals. I dont want absolute power. It involves too much paperwork. I want moderate but respectable amounts of power, and to be able to relax and not be hassled by people.
I could help by working in a covert ops team of some sort, and perhaps managing one, for a few years, and retire out in the country as a wealthy man after the war.
Very well, I find your offer acceptable! I hereby appoint you Count Commander of Killing Foes of The Regime In Their Sleep. A most honorable title that comes with a hefty stipend, a generous parcel of land, and an increase in Hooker allotment!
Welcome aboard Soldier!
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Some people have whispered that I've gone mad with power, and I would like to take this opportunity to address these charges.
Of course I've gone mad with power! Have you ever tried going mad without it? It's boring and nobody listens to you!
Ok I am willing to sign on to LPMs world domination plan... I am a Dwarf of simple tastes all I require is the Playboy mansion and a regular rotation of bunnies.
Ok I am willing to sign on to LPMs world domination plan... I am a Dwarf of simple tastes all I require is the Playboy mansion and a regular rotation of bunnies.
As you will Good Dwarf of the realm. And even though you didn't say so, I'd have you not be without means to slake your mighty thirst. The brewery of your choice shall be put to task seeing it so.
I will let you rule ... as regent ... for now.
-ett
Rev 3:16
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I will let you rule ... as regent ... for now.
-ett
Rev 3:16
Very good Minister Tebow. I thank you for that consideration and would offer a courtesy in return. I'll let you live... for now.
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Ah Lord Moorluck, You missed one slight problem part of the United States in particular new England is mine when the United States falls. I have already put everything in place. I am to be Baron of New England or Count I haven't figured out the correct title yet but I am afraid I will have to fight quite vehemently to ensure this happens. If necessary I will support those other factions like our friend above. You have been put on notice. New England is mine.
So speaks the great Orc God.
Why fight when you can simply accept a place on my Great Council and be awarded New Engla... New ORCland as a fully vested home for your noble and bloodthirsty people.
Will New Moorluckia not need a place for Orckind to grow strong and mighty so as better to crush our mutual foes in the coming wars?
We do like a good fight and scrap us orcs do. But if I was to have full autonomy to run things and only pay a tithe to New Moorluckia I beleive we can come to an agreement.
Keeping it named New England is fine don't want to go through all the hassels of changing signs and renaming places.
As for going to war to crush our enemies and see them driven before us and hear the lamentations of the women... Well we are in.
Ah Lord Moorluck, You missed one slight problem part of the United States in particular new England is mine when the United States falls. I have already put everything in place. I am to be Baron of New England or Count I haven't figured out the correct title yet but I am afraid I will have to fight quite vehemently to ensure this happens. If necessary I will support those other factions like our friend above. You have been put on notice. New England is mine.
So speaks the great Orc God.
Why fight when you can simply accept a place on my Great Council and be awarded New Engla... New ORCland as a fully vested home for your noble and bloodthirsty people.
Will New Moorluckia not need a place for Orckind to grow strong and mighty so as better to crush our mutual foes in the coming wars?
We do like a good fight and scrap us orcs do. But if I was to have full autonomy to run things and only pay a tithe to New Moorluckia I beleive we can come to an agreement.
Keeping it named New England is fine don't want to go through all the hassels of changing signs and renaming places.
As for going to war to crush our enemies and see them driven before us and hear the lamentations of the women... Well we are in.
This is awesome.
Not only do we freedom loving rebels get to fight against the oppressors of new Morluckia but now that the orcs and or "monsters" have sided with the morluckian government officially that lends even more righteousness to our cause.This is going to be all kinds of fun, we'll be fightnin for years to come.
Oh and BTW thanks for the very generous offer of California and the other undesired areas On behalf of The Great Rebellion I accept.
See? New Moorluckia really does have something to offer everyone! Even the rebellious, and esteemed Mr. Tindall agrees that what we have in mind will change the future for us all!
Why when I think about my childhood and the days I spent walking those old dirt roads with my best dog Jake trotting beside me, looking for creatures to shed blood against, I get positively teary eyed. To think that every young man, and woman if you are one, regardless of background, politics, sexual orientation, or color, will soon be given the chance to prove themselves as equals and contemporaries in the coming years.
All thanks to my dream of a bloody future, all thanks to
This announcement has been paid for by The Elect Lord President Dictator For Life Foundation, with a grant from Colt Firearms, God made men, Sam Colt made them equals.
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[This is awesome.
Not only do we freedom loving rebels get to fight against the oppressors of new Morluckia but now that the orcs and or "monsters" have sided with the morluckian government officially that lends even more righteousness to our cause.
This is going to be all kinds of fun, we'll be fightnin for years to come.
Oh and BTW thanks for the very generous offer of California and the other undesired areas On behalf of The Great Rebellion I accept.
Name calling huh? Always good to have a scapegoat typical human turning something you don't understand into a "Monster". Well I look forward to this scrap master Steven Tindall and I will be looking for you in particular to avenge this and show the world what orcs are made of. Monsters Indeed. At least with Moorluck he accepts us as we are your group of "Freedom Fighters" are not fighting for a world I would want to live in. On behalf of the Orcs of New England I will be the first to sign up to supress Tindall's evil and oppressive rebellion. A righteous cause indeed.
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He'll probably want to identify the deep sleeper agents embedded within New Moorluckia. Viva La Resistance! I'll happily feed information to YellowDingo for a 40'TEU in a lovely shade of red as well as General Zod just to show there is no favoritism. I'll accept a few cybernetic upgrades if the offer is right.
We got death star
We got death star
We got death star
We got death star
I thought it was the "Def Star"? As in
"Roll up on your planet / Def Star drive-by!"|
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I thought it was the "Def Star"? As in
"Roll up on your planet / Def Star drive-by!"
Funny anecdote this made me think of. In Highschool History they taught us about the "Star Wars" defense program, and I got in trouble for making snyde remarks about the death star.
Then I got to university and took a law class, and the teacher mentioned that George Lucas sued the american government for trademark infringement, and won. Because if you say Star Wars in North america, *EVERYONE* thinks of, well, Star Wars by George Lucas. lol.
Then I got to university and took a law class, and the teacher mentioned that George Lucas sued the american government for trademark infringement, and won.
There's some confusion here, because the U.S. government never called it "Star Wars." It was the "Strategic Defense Inititative," or SDI. Referring to it as "star wars" was something the public and the media did, quite intentionally, in order to make fun of it. (I'm old enough to base this off of direct observation, not secondhand accounts from history class.)
Soo. Moorluck. You have a first target?
Probably go ahead and take Cuba, I'll be out of smokes by tomorrow if'n we don't.
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Then I got to university and took a law class, and the teacher mentioned that George Lucas sued the american government for trademark infringement, and won.There's some confusion here, because the U.S. government never called it "Star Wars." It was the "Strategic Defense Inititative," or SDI. Referring to it as "star wars" was something the public and the media did, quite intentionally, in order to make fun of it. (I'm old enough to base this off of direct observation, not secondhand accounts from history class.)
Doesn't matter anyway, I sued Lucas when I was six for calling it a Death Star. That's what my right hook was named at the time. I've since taken to calling it The Kingmaker on account of what it did to that poor army that Arthur sent out against me.
Name calling huh? Always good to have a scapegoat typical human turning something you don't understand into a "Monster". Well I look forward to this scrap master Steven Tindall and I will be looking for you in particular to avenge this and show the world what orcs are made of. Monsters Indeed. At least with Moorluck he accepts us as we are your group of "Freedom Fighters" are not fighting for a world I would want to live in. On behalf of the Orcs of New England I will be the first to sign up to suppress Tindall's evil and oppressive rebellion. A righteous cause indeed.
Now this is rather odd. A orc upset over being called a "monster" I honestly didn't think that as a race the orcs were intelligent enough to have feelings. I thought that was why you and yours joined New Moorluckia so as to have a highly intelligent drow elf be the brains of your entire nation.
As to what orcs are made of trust me when I say good sir that I am very well aware of the vileness that is the total summation of all the orcan nation or to put it in simpler more orc friendly terms orcs = bad.
Oh and please do look for me on the field of battle as I and the rest of my freedom fighters attempt to liberate the rest of what was once the U.S. from the forces of evil. I'll be the guy in the center, can't miss me on the front lines. Look for my orc tusk belt to make sure you have the right guy. However you will have to introduce yourself to me, I'm afraid all you tuskers look(and smell) alike.
Now as for you Mr. Lord President Moorluck. How do ya like us so far? I fully understand and expect to be the scapegoats for your policy's after all you can get away with quite a bit by blaming it on us darned rebels or the need to do so and such to combat us darned rebels.
Now that the orcs are all kindsa mad you might not even have to pay the dumb brutes to fight for you.
If you need anything else from us please feel free to ask.
Well, it seems the fracturing of the world nations is coming along nicely. Pretty soon, my legions of pretty bad table manners is going to smash through the various pitiful remaining militaries, leading to the establishment of a world monarchy. I, Sissyl the Eternal, will be crowned world empress over the smoking corpses of any pretender rulers.
What happens in my off-time project? Oh, denizens of that backward galaxy on the rim of the cosmos are fighting again?
@Gruumash.
i've been tinkering with some cybork retrofits, if you want an edge dealing with these xenophobic and judgemental terrorists. the universal soldier kit is particularly good, and i have a couple of spares lying around. just say the word and they're yours, friend.
@ReckNBall.
what sort of bodywork do you want done? subdermal armour, super strength, or something a bit more cosmetic?
@Sissyl.
our future nations are currently on good terms. you may need to work on sewing discord for a bit before trying your global takeover. that said, i'm sure everyone here admires your initiative.
UH I have a couple of questions.
Lady Sissyl the Eternal, Do we rebels still get to keep California and the surrounding waste area?
Drejk, Shake your crystal ball harder there's still orc's running around down here. I mean seriously WTF were you thinking putting them in here like that.
FuelDrop, Are you selling to both sides. I can get you a good deal on some fine wines. The universal solider kit looks interesting. What do you have in the way of flame throwers, I like my p(ork) well done.
Well, it seems the fracturing of the world nations is coming along nicely. Pretty soon, my legions of pretty bad table manners is going to smash through the various pitiful remaining militaries, leading to the establishment of a world monarchy. I, Sissyl the Eternal, will be crowned world empress over the smoking corpses of any pretender rulers.
Hah! I do not rule by military might, I rule by the might of my wife's mighty BttH!! >:D
As long as she lets me I do anyway... :/
Oh, hey, I never noticed this thread before.
[Takes a long, hard, look around, noting local features of topography and checking wind directions and speeds.]
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Oh, hey, I never noticed this thread before.
[Takes a long, hard, look around, noting local features of topography and checking wind directions and speeds.]
Take note of the direction and speed of this wind (drops a massive curry fueled fart) you little gobbo Chardonnay socialist. ;-)
FuelDrop, Are you selling to both sides. I can get you a good deal on some fine wines. The universal solider kit looks interesting. What do you have in the way of flame throwers, I like my p(ork) well done.
Sorry, sponsoring terrorists against two of the three other major governments in the world is probably a bad move, particularly with such distinctive technology. tends to make international relations that little bit harder, you know how it is.
also, i believe my old friend Gruumash recently bought every flame-thrower i had in stock. i believe he mentioned something about taking it onto masterchef, or something.
I'm a big fan of international relations, how are the models looking in your neck of the woods?
I'm a big fan of international relations, how are the models looking in your neck of the woods?
7 of 9. 'nuf said.
[Changes entry in guidebook to "Mostly harmless."]
I'm a big fan of international relations, how are the models looking in your neck of the woods?7 of 9. 'nuf said.
Very good! Send a few over and I'll have the wife begin relations.
Very good! Send a few over and I'll have the wife begin relations.I'm a big fan of international relations, how are the models looking in your neck of the woods?7 of 9. 'nuf said.
they're on their way. australian postal system though, so you'll be seeing them at some point within the next millenium... with luck.
To: Lord President Moorluck & Fueldrop,
Gentlemen this is to inform you both that the shipment that was sent and expected has in fact been intercepted by we the rebels of the former United States or what is currently New Moorluckia.
We appreciate your donation to our most noble cause and the models seem to like it here too, something about Hollywood and the promise of stardom after we have liberated the rest of the country appealed to them.
Now if we can just stop them from practicing their "I'm ready for my close-up Mr. De-mil" and you have NO idea how many times I have heard the academy being Thanked. All in all however the shipment was very well received. Please send more.
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"I'm ready for my close-up Mr. De-mil"
Oh, no, no. You don't get to drop Norma Desmond quotes without a link. Not on my watch!
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To: Lord President Moorluck & Fueldrop,
Gentlemen this is to inform you both that the shipment that was sent and expected has in fact been intercepted by we the rebels of the former United States or what is currently New Moorluckia.We appreciate your donation to our most noble cause and the models seem to like it here too, something about Hollywood and the promise of stardom after we have liberated the rest of the country appealed to them.
Now if we can just stop them from practicing their "I'm ready for my close-up Mr. De-mil" and you have NO idea how many times I have heard the academy being Thanked. All in all however the shipment was very well received. Please send more.
Ah hell. Now you went and done it, I know you could have handled yourself against me and my forces.... but you just went and interfered with Solnes' Happy Nekkid Funtime!{tm}.
I do not envy you Mr. Tindall.
I really don't want to rule anything. I'd be happy with a little bungalow on the beach and unlimited room service.
To: Lord President Moorluck & Fueldrop,
Gentlemen this is to inform you both that the shipment that was sent and expected has in fact been intercepted by we the rebels of the former United States or what is currently New Moorluckia.We appreciate your donation to our most noble cause and the models seem to like it here too, something about Hollywood and the promise of stardom after we have liberated the rest of the country appealed to them.
Now if we can just stop them from practicing their "I'm ready for my close-up Mr. De-mil" and you have NO idea how many times I have heard the academy being Thanked. All in all however the shipment was very well received. Please send more.
blows dust off of ancient kill-switch. programs in serial code, then flips the switch.
*as Bond villan* Goodbye, Mr Tindall.models explode.
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Oh, at least there will be cleaning bots to clear the mess in FuelDrop's bureau.
i've gotta stop all this subcontracting.
Can I get some real estate around the Mediterranean? I can rule my dominion from the isle of Capri, like emperor Tiberius.
Except without all the f*$!ed up stuff he did.
Well, without most of it, anyway. We'll decide on a case-by-case basis.
Well yeah, you gotta have some depravity, otherwise what's the point?
The Isle of Capri? Are they the ones with the funny short/pants things? Man I hate those things.
i've gotta stop all this subcontracting.
I would loan you some nuclear warheads to handle that, but it's my kids birthday coming up... and you know how kids love fireworks.
i've gotta stop all this subcontracting.I would loan you some nuclear warheads to handle that, but it's my kids birthday coming up... and you know how kids love fireworks.
thanks buddy, but i was planning to take a more personal approach to this one. i don't suppose you know where i can get my hands on about a hundred vaccum tubes, a crate of scorpions, some heavy duty elastic bands and a few miles of duct tape by any chance?
Hell, I have a surplus of those in the basement.