Eric the Kitten-Bee's page

This self-prolonged pandemic would be taken much more seriously if it was a CORVID-19 virus turning survivors into tengus.

You know that it is REAL HARD to play my video game with a cat asleep on my leg.

Sounds like it's time for you to make a sweded version of The Lion King?

{hisses at mere mention of vacuum-themed 'zines, stomps off to poop in someone's shoe}

{rides around on maid's head while wearing shark costume}

Thomas Seitz wrote:

Freehold,

Dogs and my liking them have nothing to do with my poor dice rolling. I'm still betting Cyric hates me.

Freehold is one of those cat people who thinks that dogs are infinitely less worthy creatures.

[origin="supervillain"] Freehold is actually 12 cats in a Vorlon trenchcoat whom The Whedon refused to adopt. [/origin]

I guess it's because I rolled the nat one on the save moreso than him getting the critical...

You should offer the defective die as tribute to your cat, who will either add it to his/her horde behind the sofa or bat it under the refrigerator where it will be expunged from memory.

Let your other dice watch so they learn what happens to your enemies.

Hee, hee

NO ONE EXPECTS THE LEOPARD INQUISITION!

Eh. I spotted you coming.

In my experience it's less what it means, and more the attitude that comes with it.

Like, I'm going to yeet this. I'm yeeting out of here. Throwing in a celebratory yeet.

Oh, so it's like the word "squanch."

No tea for me, thanks. It gives me a headache.

Or like Solid Snake and his cardboard boxes.

Fortunately, felinekin and catfolk get a +4 on Perception checks vs. boxes.

I have a feeling that my dogs think that I only exist to spoil them. Food, water, treats, walks, pets and hugs. Wow. I did not realize that our roles have been reversed. I am my dogs pet? great...

Are you sure you don't actually have a couple cats stacked on top of each other in a canine trenchcoat? Vincent Adultdog?

Wait, I seem to remember you also have cats... are you sure your cats aren't mind controlling your dogs?

I Blame Cosmo that my minion's sister are coming up the Sunday after next...and they are brining their dogs. And they are going to be invading my territory for weeks.

I also blame Cosmo for Selene's sister bringing her mangy slobbering doge minions. A cat's home is his/her sovereign domain, and it should not be invaded by dopey attention-addicted canines tromping about and making a ruckus.

{leaves a cucumber on the floor to surprise Farael}

Treppa wrote:

This must be like having 73.5 people watching over your shoulder while you're trying to debug and fix.

Who's the half?

If you need help with bugs, it helps to have a half-a-bee on staff.

Wel...oh I thought this was a question for me...sigh Nobody ever asks me any questions.

It's just as well. Human attendants can rarely handle the depths of our profound wisdom. Heck, humans can't even perceive the horrors lurking in their own dwellings with which we lock eyes and whisper the words of forbiddence, keeping them safe for yet another day.

I am Groot.

Mmm-hmmm.

I am Groot.

Ah-ha.

I am Groot.

NOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!

I am Groot!

That's a really bad sign.

I am Groot!

NO! That's the button that will kill everyone!

Try again.

The Kitty in question is named Loomis, and he is an adorable furry potato Tuxedo Cat. He's also an a%~@*!%.

I blame Cosmo that while Loomis probably looks more like this (Kai) or this, my brain thinks this* is funnier. (* Sadly, not a tuxedo.)

I Blame Cosmo that I thought a@$~%!! was just another word for cat.

{consults Old Possum's Book of Practical Cats} Huh. It's true; a$$%%!$ is synonym for cat. I blame Cosmo that I did not know that.

In reality, eagles make a wide variety of silly-sounding chirping and peeping noises.

This is why, like, we cats chitter and chirp at our befeathered friends. We're just like trying to say hello, man. {takes another hit from catnip bong}

Ah...the Harvest must have begun...

Maybe Monday is set aside for building the wicker man?

]You Scratch My Back allows Catfolk to receive double Aid Another bonus, but restricts them to the Aid Another action in return next turn, also with doubled bonuses.

Catfolk bards need a Subharmonic Purr feat.

I know this is probably old, but it still makes me smile: Touch tha fishy

Well, if this ends up in war, I have my "I told you so" gifs already bookmarked.

Not to fear. Dr. Marten Beechett turned the LHC into an improvised time traveling device to quantum leap back to 1979 to stop the whole thing by gnawing off Margaret Thatcher's ankles.

If only there were some cat-goat hybrid...

...

Odraude wrote:

Ruby Rhod

I hate everything about you.

Tactics sweetheart, what was that? It was BAD! It had no fire, no energy, no nothing! Y'know I got a Game to run here, and it must pop POP POP! So tomorrow from 5 to 7 will you PLEASE roleplay like you have more than a two word vocabulary. It must be green, okay? Bzzz.

Twitchy nose the raccoon is on the shed staring at us. The dog doesn't see him. He's literally sniffing all around the shed while the raccoon watches us.

Beagles. They see with their nose and that's all.

Beagdevil or Darebeagle? Ben Affleck or Charlie Cox?

Wouldn't half kitsune just be humans? .-.

.

Tacticslion wrote:

NobodysHome wrote:

captain yesterday wrote:

Next up, I brave the 24 hour grocery store while the General lulls the savages to sleep.

You totally need the painkillers Impus Minor is on. One pill, 45 minutes... <snoooore>

EDIT: And they have a weird designation; something like Hadron-acetaminophen. To me, that's Tylenol with a weird Hadron prefix. Maybe Hadron means "sleepy".

Google's got nothing. Now I really want to know what was in those. Hmp.

It's because I didn't have the name right. What a surprise.

It's hydrocodone-acetaminophen.

I'd just never heard of hydrocodone before.

It's a common mistake. Hadron-acetaminophen is what you administer to a weasel marten after he chows down on the LHC's wiring.

I just happened upon the Ruby Rod/Korben Dallas introduction scene from Fifth Element, and I can't help but think that would be what happened if I met Orthos.

Bzzz. Bzzz zzzz BZZZZ!

Honey keeps a long time. Like, REALLY long. Honey found by modern archaeologists in the tombs of Pharaohs was still edible.

If you have honey that has been unused long enough to crystallize, it hasn't gone bad; some people prefer the crystallized honey as it takes longer to "melt" in your mouth and is usually less sweet. To return your honey to liquidness, fill a 1-1/2 to 2 quart mixing bowl 3/4 full with water, and microwave it for around 4-5 minutes (until hot, but not boiling). Then set your honey jar in the bowl of hot water and allow the crystallized honey to re-melt.

Nerves are just extra special hair. Alternatively, hair is just extra mundane nerves. Either way, I am simultaneously a Psionic TITAN and this year's posterboy for Vidal Sassoon.

TUESDAY WILL RISE AGAIN!

So, you're the Paizoboards equivalent of the Great Seanachai from Song of the Sea*?

* Great movie, but keep a box of tissues handy for the tears. Oh, there will be tears.

Gorbacz wrote:

WE HAVE THE CORGI. REVEAL DETAILS OF THE AP AFTER STRANGE AEONS OR THE CORGI BUYS IT.

Fool! Now you are precisely where the corgi wanted you!

"Never go in against a Corgi when death is on the line"?

Ms Rysky, do you read the Breaking Cat News comic?

If you've ever wondered what Shrodinger's cat was thinking while in the box, there are a little over two hundred people that have an inkling...

"No, I like it in here!"

I am grateful for ginger people. Without their noble sacrifices being pulped, juiced, and pasteurized, we would not have have tasty beverages like ginger ale and ginger beer.

Salty Barbarian wrote:

Have you ever drank ale that accidentally had the weird stuff that sometimes grows on barley brewed into it? It makes you feel awful, but you see visions. Very interesting, don't do it often, and for the love of the gods check your barley.

Know anywhere I might be able to find some of that stuff? I'm... asking for a friend. Yeah, that.

Have you ever wanted to vacation in Turkey? You could bring back a jar of deli bai ("mad honey")? Or you could do it yourself and become the Walter White/Albert Hofmann/Sasha Shulgin of rhododendron-growing apiarists.

Just idle reflection.

[obscure Rutles reference that contributes nothing to the discussion]

ZOMG, Dolorous Edd wasn't at the stabbing! Never mind Mel, Edd could, like, stumble over his body and nurse him back to life...

Edd was busy taking Teddy Salad Ghost on walkies.

And THAT is why the Paizo offices burnt to the ground. And everyone lived miserably ever after.

ARE YOU HAPPY WITH YOURSELF ERIC?!

Not really, no. I was hoping I could find a way to work in all of Lumbergh's dialogue from Office Space before sweeping the leg with the stapler reference. My impatience shames me.

Kobold Cleaver wrote:

My tribe really needs to get a better agent. At least the ghoul dragon only ate half of us per day. And he kept the snack bar stocked! With kobold meat.

Your tribe doesn't need a better agent. What your tribe needs is extinction. But at least I have been able to arrange with Eric the Kitten-Bee to have you chained into your cubicle and fed with stale bread and tap water once every other day. But you only get the food if you can double your current output.

Yeah... KC, we're gonna need to go ahead and move you downstairs into storage B. We have some new people coming in, and we need all the space we can get. So if you could just go ahead and pack up your stuff and move it down there, that would be terrific, OK? {quietly pockets KC's red Swingline stapler}

{blithely ignoring KC's peril} Oh, and remember: next Friday... is Hawaiian shirt day. So, you know, if you want to, go ahead and wear a Hawaiian shirt and jeans.

Am I expected to activate the bee cat trap? Because I can activate the bee cat trap.

It's a trap containing both cats and bees.

Yes. Yes it does.

{leans up against KC's cubicle, sips coffee} Ummm, I'm gonna need you to go ahead and come in tomorrow. So if you could be here around 9 that would be great, mmm-kay?

Oh oh! And I almost forgot, ahh, I'm also gonna need you to go ahead and come in on Sunday too, kay? We, ahh, lost some more kobold trap-detectors this week and, ahh, we sorta need to play catch up. You'll be starting by exploring the mouth opening of the stone Great Green Devil face over on the wall, kay?

A half dead thread, philosophically
Must, ipso facto, half not be.

"Ample posting day and night, people spouting: 'I blame Cosmo!'"

Chris Self wrote:

Liz Courts wrote:

Cosmo: His coffee gained sentience and began berating him on the dangers of diabetes.

Oh, come on. I don't make it *that* sweet.

Lies.

I'm surprised no one has made a Lying Cat alias yet. P.S. Saga is really really good.

Buzzpurr!
That's right!

If you don't propitiate Cosmo with your Offering of Blame, he'll only hit you with bigger poop next time. Or even the whole bird.

I blame Cosmo for Jiggy not understanding how blame works.

GEICO, so easy a caveman could do it.

Well, the new cover was finished, but the pugwampis plundered it before the gninja could upload it. I blame Cosmo for Feros not already knowing this.