Ben Stein's page

I lecture the fiend to death on how resurrections and souls don't work that way.

I open the closet and begin my monologue, blocking any method of exit.

I dunno that we want to try piloting our solar system. What if the guy behind the wheel is drunk? Can you imagine the fines for drunk driving of a solar system? Our insurance rates would be galactic!

I just spent fifteen minutes with Skyco and saved fifteen percent on my star insurance. Woooooow.

Bueller...?

Sara Marie wrote:

cs erik: Some day

cs erik: I'm going to learn to use tones in my voice

cs erik: other than monotones.

cs erik: And it's going to be great, because I'll actually be able to convey sarcasm instead of hoping everyone assumes its implied.

Did anyone else get halfway through this and start reading it in the Ben Stein voice?

I don't know what you're talking about.

Bueller?

Shiny? Treppa? Bueller? :)

Bueller...? Bueller...? Bueller...?

Someone sprayed it in my eye!

Use ClearEyes. It removes redness, and has an ingredient to moisturize. Woooooow.

Bueller....

Patrick Curtin wrote:

If I speak in one constant volume

In one constant pitch
In one constant rhythm
Right into your ear

You still won't hear

You're right about that. It's why I prefer learning from books over lectures. Thewordsallblurintoonesound.

Bueller?

Eggs Ben Stein

*egg dissolves as soon as it hits Stein's Aura of Boredom*

I can help with that.

Easy.

The briefing has so much detail that it takes 20 hours to read/listen to. The verbal version is done in the GM's best Ben Stein voice.

I am available to do voiceovers for very reasonable rates.

Perfect - the visine spokescreature position just opened up.

Afraid not. They keep clones on file.

Bueller?

She could definitely use some ClearEyes. And a lot of bandages.

I have something that might be able to help you, gentlemen.

Try ClearEyes. It removes redness and has an ingredient to moisturize. Woooooooow.

Bueller...?

I'm not evil. Just misunderstood.

*watches as the eggs simply bounce off*

Oh dear.

Bueller?

Bueller?

Now I know why!!!!

*fades in silently*

For red eyes, try Clear Eyes. It removes redness and has ingredients that moisturize. Wooooooow.

*fades out*

That's fair.

Mark Hoover wrote:

I'm a wall of text guy and trying to curb that. I know a lot of this is based on your audience but I'm trying to gauge if my players are in the minority when I say that even the 3 sentence fluff intros to a Descent scenario are tough for them to sit through.

I try to apply what I learned in my public speaking class to box text. If you read your text verbatim from the page, you'll sound like Ben Stien and your players will feel like they are at a college lecture, not a game.

Ouch. Harsh.

And I just answered and avatar as if it was the actual person. damn that's sad.

You get used to it.

Celestial Healer wrote:

Emperor7 wrote:

Forgot to mention that my daughter danced in the city parade Saturday, for an early Memorial Day. She slipped on the rain fresh pavement and scraped her knee pretty badly. She bounced right up and got back to the routine. Then finished the mile route. So proud.

Of course she was miserable afterwards, but that's OK.

I once broke my toe during a performance of Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat but roughed it out to finish the show and do three more that weekend. Performing arts are hazardous to one's health.

The show must go on!

Break a leg.

Woooooooow.

don't

Bueller.

Hmmm.

Bueller.

Ben Stein wrote:

Studpuffin wrote:

Ben Stein wrote:

Studpuffin wrote:

Ben Stein wrote:

Studpuffin wrote:

Ben Stein wrote:

Studpuffin wrote:

Ben Stein wrote:

Studpuffin wrote:

I'm liking some of the new looks, guys. And nice new aliases.

Welcome to the celebration.

Ben Stein? Ack! Kill it, kill it with fire!

Why so much aggression.

If I answer, can I have some of your money?

You have to go on my show.

The one where you cut interviews so the interviewees look like idiots or the one where you made Jimmy Kimmel your beotch?

Either or.

Just give me your money or I'll tell everyone about you snorting clear eyes solution.

Everybody knows about that anyway.

Wooooooooooooow.

I'll give you some clear eyes if you give me some of your money.

......... *pays the puffin*

Ben Stein wrote:

Studpuffin wrote:

Ben Stein wrote:

Studpuffin wrote:

Ben Stein wrote:

Studpuffin wrote:

Ben Stein wrote:

Studpuffin wrote:

I'm liking some of the new looks, guys. And nice new aliases.

Welcome to the celebration.

Ben Stein? Ack! Kill it, kill it with fire!

Why so much aggression.

If I answer, can I have some of your money?

You have to go on my show.

The one where you cut interviews so the interviewees look like idiots or the one where you made Jimmy Kimmel your beotch?

Either or.

Just give me your money or I'll tell everyone about you snorting clear eyes solution.

Everybody knows about that anyway.

Wooooooooooooow.

Ben Stein wrote:

Studpuffin wrote:

Ben Stein wrote:

Studpuffin wrote:

Ben Stein wrote:

Studpuffin wrote:

I'm liking some of the new looks, guys. And nice new aliases.

Welcome to the celebration.

Ben Stein? Ack! Kill it, kill it with fire!

Why so much aggression.

If I answer, can I have some of your money?

You have to go on my show.

The one where you cut interviews so the interviewees look like idiots or the one where you made Jimmy Kimmel your beotch?

Either or.

Ben Stein wrote:

Studpuffin wrote:

Ben Stein wrote:

Studpuffin wrote:

I'm liking some of the new looks, guys. And nice new aliases.

Welcome to the celebration.

Ben Stein? Ack! Kill it, kill it with fire!

Why so much aggression.

If I answer, can I have some of your money?

You have to go on my show.

Ben Stein wrote:

Studpuffin wrote:

I'm liking some of the new looks, guys. And nice new aliases.

Welcome to the celebration.

Ben Stein? Ack! Kill it, kill it with fire!

Why so much aggression.

I'm liking some of the new looks, guys. And nice new aliases.

Welcome to the celebration.

Ben Stein wrote:

Can't Get the Red Out wrote:

How about some Visine?

For dry, itchy eyes, use ClearEyes.

It removes redness, and has an ingredient to moisturize.

Woooooooooow.

No, not Ben Ste- zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

Oh come on it can't be that bad.

Bueller.

Bueller.

Bueller.

How about some Visine?

For dry, itchy eyes, use ClearEyes.

It removes redness, and has an ingredient to moisturize.

Woooooooooow.