Order 66

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Hastur, Hastur, Hastur.

Dark Archive

*summons Pacman*

Scarab Sages

*wishes upon a star...for Cr500cricket to die*

I chop off IHIYC's heels and toes to see if his feet go into a glass slipper. Of course, the wounds keep bleeding due to a combination of super glue, leakage holes and heparin.

Th' boys escort Sissyl in t' "see" th' Brainfather.

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Beholder Yakuza takes out The Mind Flayer Mafia

Sovereign Court

I gulp down down a thousand fiery chilly peppers and belch out a massive flamethrower that engulfs krevon.

I have evasion..........The Ice Age happens

Sprays you with acorn oil and unleashes psychotic squirrel. Psychotic squirrel proceeds to bury you in a glacier.

I pick up and toss the talking skull to my pet hellhound and watch it crack and gnaw on Xabulba.

Scarab Sages

Release the hound...archons!

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*IHIYC has become corrupted. IHIYC has been erased.*

Captured by the Ghost Busters and placed in the containment unit

Scarab Sages

krevon is run through by a pirate.

I've just delivered the closetjester, inside his closet, to the lumbermill. He died most gruesomely.

*Attempts to pass "anti-fiend-fantastic law" through normal channels*
Sorry folks, this one's going to take some time.

Sovereign Court

I form a truce with the Fiend Fantastic to stop FuelDrop's law. Then I put on a thrilling performance that utterly humiliates FuelDrop so much that he commits suicide.

An amendment was added to the law before it was passed condemning all singing dinosaurs to death.

**also ninja's never lose to pirates**

Liberty's Edge

A cannonball explodes out of krevon's gut.

"You were sayin', sonny?"

Scarab Sages

We've replaced Hazgarr the Dwarven Pirate's rum supply with Star Trek's synthehol - let's see if he notices!

*it was a shadow clone*
Hazgarr did notice IHIYC takes a cannonball to the face.

Sovereign Court

I give Krevon the shock of his life by revealing that I am not actually a dinosaur. In reality, I'm a chamaeleonite (a lizard man that looks like a chamaeleons) with the shapeshift ability.

Not that it much matters, as Jurassic Bard comes to a frigid halt when the ambient temperature plummets by about a hundred degrees.

Alu'Vien was so blue we mercy-killed her with a repeater crossbow.

TFF forgot he has a weakness to cold

Scarab Sages

I find a noble samurai and inform them there's a despicable, honorless ninja named krevon lurking about.

*Rises from the grave*
*Appears in closet and tears out IHIYC's throat, feasting on his vital essence and gaining immeasurable power*

Scarab Sages

Remember that corpse explosion spell I used upthread? I cast it on myself once enough of me is halfway down Count FuelDrop, Vampire Lord's esophagus.

Dark Archive

Wow, he killed himself. Popcorn anyone?

Certainly. I'm immune to my own venom in the butter and salt. You however were not.

Dark Archive

You're right. I'm not immune to your poison, I'm immune to all poison. Trap the soul plus Xorn. Bye bye soul.

Scarab Sages

Deletes the cricket's files from the universal database.

Dark Archive

Sweet! I can move unnoticed now! I'm better at stealth than Krevon. Introduces the demon queen to Iomedae.

Silver Crusade

Just watches as a horde of angels smites the fiendish cricket to death as well.

I throw an empowered fireball at lady Siobhan Quirke and resurrect her as my succubus secretary.

I lecture the fiend to death on how resurrections and souls don't work that way.

Dark Archive

I toss a fireball down Ben's throat as he lectures.

Scarab Sages

I use what I presume is the intense heat emanating from Cr500cricket's mouth to blow some glass - which I then jam down his throat, followed by a liquid nitrogen chaser.

I happen upon IHIYC in Town of Salem, being the serial killer, i slice his throat while he sleeps.

Scarab Sages

The wandering specters of all my characters from City of Heroes/Villains (Lal Oppenheimer, The Marquis, Lo'ihi, Eresh, The Kshatriya, Edward Hyde, The PhantomOfTheOpera, The Surly Frenchman, Captain Antarctica, The Fall of Empires - blessings and peace be upon you and all the rest) show up in Town of Salem, come out of nowhere lightning-fast, and gank The Fiend Fantastic and his devil ass.

And.....you'll love this.
The player IHIYC popped up in the game, she was a JESTER, of all roles. Jesters are evil murder hobo's who haunt people to death.

Anyway....i rig IHIYC's closet with overpowered TNT and portal myself away from ground zero.

Sovereign Court

I become possessed by a magic spell that turns me into an ever hungry T-Rex and I devour The Fiend Fantastic. Sorry! :'(

Sovereign Court

*only to be devoured by an even bigger T-rex. Who happens to be undead.*

Scarab Sages

I ask you, what kind of Closet-Hiding unhinged jester would I be if I didn't have a comically oversized chainsaw I could pull out of my ass just for occasions like this?

Adventure Path Charter Subscriber

Noticing his pet fish has been slain, calls in favor to return him to the living.

Grabs keys to 18 wheeler tanker full of maple syrup, backs up to IHIYC and pulls dump valve flooding his closet with 20,000 gallons of syrup leaving him to drown in sweet, sweet syrupy goodness.

What a way to go. Let's see if I can improve on it. See, I made sure that syrup is 100 proof. Let me just fire an incendiary round into the napalm mess to take out the closet, the truck, and the entire city block.

*fires, and takes out the popcorn after checking they really are just normal popcorn*

The popcorn is, the thing it's held in is coated in poison and highly explosive as well.

*presses button while scrying on Sissyl.*

Scarab Sages

*interrupts The Fiend Fantastic's regularly scheduled scrying*

It's 4:00 PM and time for the penguin on top of your crystal ball to explode.

*it does so quite violently, and right in The Fiend Fantastic's face*

Sovereign Court

Transforms into a demonic owlbear and rips IHIYC to shreds and I offer them to TFF as a means of an apology (turns out, the clown was the one who possessed me).

Scarab Sages

I transform into a demonic Colbert and give a wag of my finger of dead to me at Jurassic Bard.

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