Overheard at the Paizo office


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Paizo Employee Sales Imp

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Sara Marie wrote:
ulgulanoth wrote:
There is now a terrifying mental picture of a singing cowboy in many people's minds
Yes, well, fortunately for you, you don't have to be physically present at the game where his gunslinger with the slow cowboy drawl just took a level in bard.

Something like this. But with a gun.

Feeling Inspired?


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Allllllllllllll my exes live in Nex...us.........

Paizo Employee Customer Service Dire Care Bear Manager

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cs erik: [redacted]
liz: [more redacted]

sara marie: am i bad if i laughed at that?

liz: ...I'm pretty sure we all did.

sara marie: so yes?

liz: maybe

Paizo Employee Customer Service Dire Care Bear Manager

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Christopher: Some days can only be fixed by rubbing your face in a cat's warm, fuzzy belly.

Ashley: or ruined
Ashley: if you don't guess the correct amount of seconds the cat will tolerate your love you're going to have a bad day.

RPG Superstar 2008 Top 32

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Sara Marie wrote:

Christopher: Some days can only be fixed by rubbing your face in a cat's warm, fuzzy belly.

Ashley: or ruined
Ashley: if you don't guess the correct amount of seconds the cat will tolerate your love you're going to have a bad day.

Christopher...this plan...it is not a good plan. Have you considered switching to puppies?


Sara Marie wrote:

Christopher: Some days can only be fixed by rubbing your face in a cat's warm, fuzzy belly.

Ashley: or ruined
Ashley: if you don't guess the correct amount of seconds the cat will tolerate your love you're going to have a bad day.

Either the cat claws you, or, as my friend Jeff can attest, it pees on your face.

Paizo Employee Sales Imp

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Financomancer Chris: ...and now my office smells like ozone

Paizo Employee Customer Service Dire Care Bear Manager

jeff: you should feel free to sing whenever you like

andrew: I do... I just... choose not to.


Tels wrote:
Sara Marie wrote:

Christopher: Some days can only be fixed by rubbing your face in a cat's warm, fuzzy belly.

Ashley: or ruined
Ashley: if you don't guess the correct amount of seconds the cat will tolerate your love you're going to have a bad day.

Either the cat claws you, or, as my friend Jeff can attest, it pees on your face.

Jeff either has a very relaxing effect on cats or is very terrifying.

Silver Crusade

Pathfinder Companion, Starfinder Adventure Path, Starfinder Roleplaying Game, Starfinder Society Subscriber; Pathfinder Roleplaying Game Superscriber

What is it with all these antisocial kitties?

RPG Superstar 2008 Top 32

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Cats, in general, do not like their bellies touched. Rolling over and showing fluffy belly is a trap. When triggered, they make a Rake attack as a swift action.

Webstore Gninja Minion

Jeff: I just get out my miracle whip...BWAH HAH HAH!

Paizo Employee Customer Service Dire Care Bear Manager

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jeff: Time to reach into the Miracle Jar and get out another miracle!

Paizo Employee Customer Service Dire Care Bear Manager

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Liz Courts wrote:
Jeff: I just get out my miracle whip...BWAH HAH HAH!

Not Sure: [Unintelligible muttering]

Jeff: Actually, its just a gallon jug of Miracle Whip and a spoon used to fling it at people.

Silver Crusade

Pathfinder Companion, Starfinder Adventure Path, Starfinder Roleplaying Game, Starfinder Society Subscriber; Pathfinder Roleplaying Game Superscriber

Hmm I guess my cat is weird then. He loves him some tummy wubs.

Paizo Employee Customer Service Dire Care Bear Manager

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cs erik: Some day

cs erik: I'm going to learn to use tones in my voice

cs erik: other than monotones.

cs erik: And it's going to be great, because I'll actually be able to convey sarcasm instead of hoping everyone assumes its implied.


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Sara Marie wrote:
ulgulanoth wrote:
There is now a terrifying mental picture of a singing cowboy in many people's minds
Yes, well, fortunately for you, you don't have to be physically present at the game where his gunslinger with the slow cowboy drawl just took a level in bard.

I'm picturing an unholy combination of Roland Deschain, Gene Autry and Cosmo's special touch of pure evil.


Readerbreeder wrote:
Sara Marie wrote:
ulgulanoth wrote:
There is now a terrifying mental picture of a singing cowboy in many people's minds
Yes, well, fortunately for you, you don't have to be physically present at the game where his gunslinger with the slow cowboy drawl just took a level in bard.
I'm picturing an unholy combination of Roland Deschain, Gene Autry and Cosmo's special touch of pure evil.

Maybe a tummy scratch would erase the picture in my head.


SnowJade wrote:
Readerbreeder wrote:
Sara Marie wrote:
ulgulanoth wrote:
There is now a terrifying mental picture of a singing cowboy in many people's minds
Yes, well, fortunately for you, you don't have to be physically present at the game where his gunslinger with the slow cowboy drawl just took a level in bard.
I'm picturing an unholy combination of Roland Deschain, Gene Autry and Cosmo's special touch of pure evil.
Maybe a tummy scratch would erase the picture in my head.

Follower of Cosmo, I see through your plans!

Praise Sara Marie for her guidance!


Cosmo wrote:
Sara Marie wrote:
ulgulanoth wrote:
There is now a terrifying mental picture of a singing cowboy in many people's minds
Yes, well, fortunately for you, you don't have to be physically present at the game where his gunslinger with the slow cowboy drawl just took a level in bard.

Something like this. But with a gun.

Feeling Inspired?

Could be worse... he could be a Slim Whitman gunslinger archetype with the sonic Indian Love Call (su) attack...


Tels wrote:
SnowJade wrote:
Readerbreeder wrote:
Sara Marie wrote:
ulgulanoth wrote:
There is now a terrifying mental picture of a singing cowboy in many people's minds
Yes, well, fortunately for you, you don't have to be physically present at the game where his gunslinger with the slow cowboy drawl just took a level in bard.
I'm picturing an unholy combination of Roland Deschain, Gene Autry and Cosmo's special touch of pure evil.
Maybe a tummy scratch would erase the picture in my head.

Follower of Cosmo, I see through your plans!

Praise Sara Marie for her guidance!

Mmmmmm, nope, not one of ours.

Lantern Lodge

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Sara Marie wrote:

cs erik: Some day

cs erik: I'm going to learn to use tones in my voice

cs erik: other than monotones.

cs erik: And it's going to be great, because I'll actually be able to convey sarcasm instead of hoping everyone assumes its implied.

Did anyone else get halfway through this and start reading it in the Ben Stein voice?

Paizo Employee PostMonster General

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That's pretty much what cs erik sounds like. Except the voice is coming from Valeros. Very strange.


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Hordshyrd wrote:
Sara Marie wrote:

cs erik: Some day

cs erik: I'm going to learn to use tones in my voice

cs erik: other than monotones.

cs erik: And it's going to be great, because I'll actually be able to convey sarcasm instead of hoping everyone assumes its implied.

Did anyone else get halfway through this and start reading it in the Ben Stein voice?

I don't know what you're talking about.

Project Manager

Crystal: There are some things that life as crockery does not prepare you for


Sara Marie wrote:

cs erik: Some day

cs erik: I'm going to learn to use tones in my voice

cs erik: other than monotones.

cs erik: And it's going to be great, because I'll actually be able to convey sarcasm instead of hoping everyone assumes its implied.

Uh, are you trying to tell me that sarcasm isn't universal assumption for everyone?!

Digital Products Assistant

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Robot Chris Snorlax could eat all the Digimon in one lunch, I reckon.

Justin Considering the Digital World fit entirely onto one floppy disc in the original series... yes.

CS Erik The question is though Chris, who would win in an eating competition? Snorlax or pre-nerf Cookie Monster?

Robot Chris Ooo. That's a good question. Pre-nerf Cookie Monster has more gusto, Snorlax has bigger mouf.

Erik Keith It's from all of that sugar.

Robot Chris But would the Cookie Monster have sugar crash before the Snorlax has inhaled enough cookies?

Justin Snorlax has the girth and stored fat. Cookie Monster is all flaps of hairy skin. Clearly Cookie Monster burns through the calories super super fast and thus needs to keep eating cookies.

Robot Chris Hm, so Cookie Monster has high metabolism and can digest the cookies at a geometric rate?

Robot Chris The other question: does the Cookie Monster even lift?

Ashley I get the feeling that Cookie Monster is the kind of monster who skips leg day.

Robot Chris All arms, all the time. He's focused on aesthetics.

Ashley It's hard when you're only shown from the chest up.

CS Erik Dude, Cookie Monster must have amazing cardio. All that screaming and flailing.


The real question is why doesn't Snorlax just eat Cookie Monster so there is no competition?


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BUT ME WAIT
ME WANT IT
BUT ME WAIT


Bah, Cookie Monster is sekretly Tom Waits. Snorlax got nothing on that.


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Pathfinder Adventure Path, Lost Omens Subscriber

Not that big a secret; Tom Waits is also all flaps of hairy skin. ;-)

Paizo Employee Customer Service Dire Care Bear Manager

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Brian: If you're forming a cult and going into the woods, then count me in.

Paizo Employee Customer Service Dire Care Bear Manager

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Liz: Things I Never Thought I Would Be Doing At Paizo: Researching local [redacted] and [redacted].

Paizo Employee Customer Service Dire Care Bear Manager

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ashley: i can't lie. i squeed a little bit when i saw we had the captain on our side


thunderspirit wrote:
Not that big a secret; Tom Waits is also all flaps of hairy skin. ;-)

That would about describe what I saw, all right.

Paizo Employee Sales Imp

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CS Erik: I USED SKIES TWICE
CS Erik: EDITING WILL JUDGE ME silently

Lantern Lodge

Cosmo wrote:

CS Erik: I USED SKIES TWICE

CS Erik: EDITING WILL JUDGE ME silently

Not quite all caps, for extra taunting of the editors.


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Hordshyrd wrote:
Cosmo wrote:

CS Erik: I USED SKIES TWICE

CS Erik: EDITING WILL JUDGE ME silently
Not quite all caps, for extra taunting of the editors.

Actually makes me think of a Christopher Walken impersonation for some reason.

Paizo Employee Customer Service Dire Care Bear Manager

rob: We're talking 50 million years not 500 million so it wasn't that long ago. We should be able to figure this out.

Grand Lodge

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Pathfinder Adventure, Rulebook Subscriber; Pathfinder Battles Case Subscriber
Sara Marie wrote:
ashley: i can't lie. i squeed a little bit when i saw we had the captain on our side

Captain Morgan?


man I cannot even remember what I had for breakfast this morning

Grand Lodge

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Pathfinder Adventure, Rulebook Subscriber; Pathfinder Battles Case Subscriber
Lamontius wrote:

man I cannot even remember what I had for breakfast this morning

Captain Morgan?

Counter of Magic Beans

2 people marked this as a favorite.
TriOmegaZero wrote:
Sara Marie wrote:
ashley: i can't lie. i squeed a little bit when i saw we had the captain on our side
Captain Morgen?

Pshaw. I'm talking about THE Captain. Captain Jean-Luc Picard of the USS Enterprise!

Grand Lodge

Pathfinder Adventure, Rulebook Subscriber; Pathfinder Battles Case Subscriber

Oh, that superb owl thing.

Shadow Lodge

1 person marked this as a favorite.
Ashley Gillaspie wrote:
TriOmegaZero wrote:
Sara Marie wrote:
ashley: i can't lie. i squeed a little bit when i saw we had the captain on our side
Captain Morgen?
Pshaw. I'm talking about THE Captain. Captain Jean-Luc Picard of the USS Enterprise!

Ma-ma-ma-mamamamake it so.

Silver Crusade

Pathfinder Companion, Starfinder Adventure Path, Starfinder Roleplaying Game, Starfinder Society Subscriber; Pathfinder Roleplaying Game Superscriber

Case in point.


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Ashley Gillaspie wrote:
TriOmegaZero wrote:
Sara Marie wrote:
ashley: i can't lie. i squeed a little bit when i saw we had the captain on our side
Captain Morgen?
Pshaw. I'm talking about THE Captain. Captain Jean-Luc Picard of the USS Enterprise!

uh

THE Captain is Jack Harkness

Silver Crusade

1 person marked this as a favorite.
Pathfinder Companion, Starfinder Adventure Path, Starfinder Roleplaying Game, Starfinder Society Subscriber; Pathfinder Roleplaying Game Superscriber
Lamontius wrote:
Ashley Gillaspie wrote:
TriOmegaZero wrote:
Sara Marie wrote:
ashley: i can't lie. i squeed a little bit when i saw we had the captain on our side
Captain Morgen?
Pshaw. I'm talking about THE Captain. Captain Jean-Luc Picard of the USS Enterprise!

uh

THE Captain is Jack Harkness

... Get out.


4 people marked this as a favorite.
Lamontius wrote:
Ashley Gillaspie wrote:
TriOmegaZero wrote:
Sara Marie wrote:
ashley: i can't lie. i squeed a little bit when i saw we had the captain on our side
Captain Morgen?
Pshaw. I'm talking about THE Captain. Captain Jean-Luc Picard of the USS Enterprise!

uh

THE Captain is Jack Harkness

Truer words have never been spoken.

Counter of Magic Beans

Lamontius wrote:
Ashley Gillaspie wrote:
TriOmegaZero wrote:
Sara Marie wrote:
ashley: i can't lie. i squeed a little bit when i saw we had the captain on our side
Captain Morgen?
Pshaw. I'm talking about THE Captain. Captain Jean-Luc Picard of the USS Enterprise!

uh

THE Captain is Jack Harkness

Just because he can't die doesn't make him THE Captain. He didn't even earn the title of captain; he stole it! Lies AND slander, sir. Lies and slander.

I will give you that Captain Jack edges out Picard for my vote of most attractive captain though.

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