“SMASH R.P.G.,” a Femme/Slash episode ((COMPLETED)) (Inactive)

Game Master Legendary Sidekick

• Prologue: “Vermilion is the New Orange”
Post at least once!
Light up the room?
Watch SMASH R.P.G. Were you not entertained?
Go to sleep. Nightie knight!

• Act I: “Eastward to the Western Edge”
Commence flashback!
Encounter ships! Alvin, Simon, Theodore… NOOOO!

• Act II: “Total Carnage! They Love It!”
SMASH R.P.G. Room #1: “Prison Break!” Yes, they ARE entertained!
Room #2: “The @$$ #*£€”
Room #3: “All Foxed Up” Foxy femmes!
Room #4: “The Circle of Ligers”
Room #5: “The Elephant in the Room” R.I.P., Drumbo?
Room #6: “Knights, Chimera, ACTION!!”
Room #7: “Just a Slice”
Room #8: “Candlelight” ☀️SHINE GET!
Room #9: “Icing Climber”
Room #10: “Fey Might Be Giants” And what are we gonna do unless they are?
Boss: “Big B” SMASH’d!!

• Act III: “Max Madness”
Choose your path. Happy Belated VeggieFest?
Get a room, you four!
R&R @ B&B Nothing good on HV!
Make some sorta plan!
Set up an ambush on the Tethered Isle—and STRUCK!
Vs. Crow T. Clown

• Epilogue: “Amazons . . . in . . . SPAAAACE!”

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((Current speed: FAST!))

The rolling heads are quickly consumed by the massive wall of eyes. It expands exponentially in gelatinous form, rushing southward, a thousand-eyed flood!

Our heroines bolt for the door! Bastardom is hopefully working on that lock—

“Bingo!” he shouts as the mechanism starts removing each deadbolt. One… by… one.

—our heroines are three-quarters the way there when the monstrosity lurches over like a tsunami with teeth! (And rancid breath.)

@Everyone, Fort, Reflex and Will!
[1-2] Get consumed! (Possible KO, Betty & Zindarel)
[3-5] Slip in ankle-deep slime! (harmless only to Zindarel, who is flying!)
[6+] Get splashed! (Harmless)
[1-2] Stumble through the door! (Possible KO, Betty & Zindarel, and Cassie only if Fort was also 1-2!)
[3-5] Get through door unless awash in slime! (Betty can make it anyway since she floats easily!)
[6+] Get through door even if awash in slime!
[1-2] No effect.
[3-5] Guide a struggling teammate get through the door!
[6+] Guide two strugglers!

Medusa pirate ♥️♥️♥️♥️☀️☀️

Fort: 1d8 ⇒ 8
"Gross!" Illuria shouts, but doesn't let the viscera stop her.

Reflex: 1d6 ⇒ 3

Will: 1d4 ⇒ 4

"Let's go! Look alive, you scalawags!" she calls out (with affection, certainly) as she stops to make sure her crew is making it.

Fortitude: 1d8 ⇒ 8

Reflex: 1d6 ⇒ 6

Will: 1d4 ⇒ 4

BOOM! All maxed!

Illuria and Cassie have no trouble getting out and each keeps a cool head, guiding Betty and Zindarel who might otherwise be too wounded to survive a slip-up.

Upon entering the next room, Illuria has an odd feeling. It takes a second—just one! She can’t afford two—Illuria realizes she’s no longer hindered by the power dampener.

Her eye can gaze into the many eyes that flood toward her!!!

@Illuria, d20 to petrify this damn thing so it doesn’t chase you through the every room in the game!

Medusa pirate ♥️♥️♥️♥️☀️☀️

Without hesitation, Illuria turns around and flips up her eyepatch, exposing her baleful gaze at the fleshy monstrosity. It wouldn't make for a pleasant statue, but at this point it just needed to be stopped.

Gaze!!!: 1d20 ⇒ 14

Illuria transforms the entire monstrosity into solid stone! Which, incidentally, means room seven is also solid stone, as well as at least two-thirds of room six, and much of the unexplored north side of the building.

The room you are now in has a long table with chocolate covered strawberries and wine, a rose-petal bath, and a changing screen.

And a bespectacled devil.

“Heh… hi.”

You immediately recognize his voice. It is the nerd!

“So, uh… we were supposed to have you come down here from the Cake Walk. Like before, some special effects. I don’t suppose you could clean yourselves up first?” He gestures to the bath. “I’ll get out.”

He peeks out the north exit, admiring the grotesque wall of stone with many eyes. “Heh… not that way.

“You get thirty minutes to wash up, and you’ll need to slip into something from the Succubust Fashion Line. All of their clothes are red, and… y’know… fashionable. Daring. And comfy! I usually buy Succubust pajamas for my wife.

“Anyway, the treats are for you. Not me, so I better… heh.”

Unless you ask something of the nerd, he steps out the door. The one to the east, where there is no grotesque wall of stone with many eyes.

Zindarel doesn't hesitate, stripping out of her soiled clothes and slipping into the bath. She sighs in relief as she relaxes in the warm water for several minutes. Eventually, she emerges, gets her fill of the strawberries and wine, and browses through the selection of fairy-sized clothing.

Zindarel settles on a red fishnet bodysuit with built-in undergarments. She slips into the outfit, turning back and forth to check herself out. "Fashionable, daring, and comfy," she agrees.

The magic of the bath is strong. Of course you have all seen this in the springs on thr floating island of Themyscira, (and the Great Fairy’s spring as well). The water purifies as you bathe. All of the blood, monster vomit, chunks of flesh, and the eyeball in Betty’s hair are just… gone with the steam.

Zindarel finds some her choices of clothing on tiny blonde mannequins, which are actually Glamour Gal Gladys dolls. The nerdy guy’s daughters have quite a collection of those!

Medusa pirate ♥️♥️♥️♥️☀️☀️

Illuria eyes the devil somewhat suspiciously as he suggests they clean themselves try on a selection of clothing. Not that he hasn't been straight with them in the past, but the whole situation she and her crew were in still warranted mistrust. But given the fact that they were the focus of entertainment, it would hardly be sporting to assassinate them all while they were unprepared and bathing.

She still reloads her pistol and resolves to keep it close.

The large stone wall of eyes might be unnerving to someone as they get undressed, but Illuria is quite used to the unseeing stares of stone statues. She peels off the blood-soaked pirate's garb and enjoys the bath while her snakes stay alert and watching.

Once the bath is over, she partakes of the strawberries and wine while grumbling that there's no rum.

Illuria finally wanders over to the selection of clothing, not exactly thrilled about modeling a line of ladies' fashion while fighting for her life and the lives of her crew. She eventually settles on a classic Themysceran-style dress with the full expectation that it will get wrecked if she's not allowed to change before the fighting gets back underway.

As it happens, there are several choices of beverage behind the red wine, including rum (Redrum), whiskey (Red Breast and Red Bush). There are also other red fruits, such as cherries, dragon fruit and blood oranges.

With combat temporarily stopped and less adrenaline flowing, Castra suddenly looks very tired. She sits cross-legged by the wall, swords across her thighs, knowing her friends will warn her of any threats. Closing her eyes, she takes deep meditative breaths and suddenly, tiny Cassi is sitting there instead.

Opening her eyes after a few minutes, the diminutive woman looks much refreshed and stands in a single smooth motion. She dips her hand in the water, letting her fingers play in the ripples, before stripping down to step in and bathe.

Since the gore was splattered on her other form, she doesn’t need the same level of cleaning, so she makes quick work of the task before wrapping herself in a luxurious white terrycloth robe that surprisingly fits her small frame well.

Standing before the racks of clothes, Cassi is a little lost in all the choices. As the captain makes her selection, the smaller woman considers the ones she puts back. After the captain has settled on a lovely gown, Cassi searches for a shorter version of one of the set-aside styles (the one on the right) to fit her smaller frame. The one she finds is a deep velvety red and has a deceptively full skirt that flares out widely when she spins.

Which she does repeatedly before the mirror once she has settled on it.

After you all clean up, you see the nerdy guy enter with four red giftboxes stacked in the grip of his pudgy arms.

“Beware of geeks bearing gifts? Er, never mind.”

He does a double take when he sees what Zindarel is wearing.

“Huh… I don’t think my daughters’ Gladys dolls have that sort of… well, but you’re not—” He blushes, face almost as red as it was with the virtual devil guise. “Sorry. You’re the first real fairy I ever met. I didn’t even believe in—


The nerd cuts to the chase.

“In addition to the bath, we got a red carpet catwalk, a fireside love seat, table with fruit and wine, bed big enough for one of Bixby’s creepy orgies…

“Pick a place to pose, say a few words if you want. Three takes, and if you do as well as you did with Foxy Fixx, my contact will give her immediate approval to leave you a tip.” He places the gift boxes near the creepy wall of eyes. He assumes this will NOT be the backdrop for any acceptable Succubust ad.

He adds, “The client is Succubust Fashion Line, but I was explicitly told to tell you… umm, verbatim…” He whips out a piece of paper, rereading it silently before reading it aloud. “Be yerselves, ladies. Ye don’t need to say ‘Succubust’ and in fact, don’t. It sounds so f#@$ing stupid.”

The nerd shows you the letter, which has the odd spellings he attempted to pronounce. The letter is signed, Addy Lane.

Three takes max:
@Everyone, d12 stunt
@Betty/Zindarel, d10 magic – optional for ONE or TWO of your takes, if you want to work magic into the ad.
A special effect gives you all long pointy tails (which you can control easily after your Foxy Fixx experience) and horns. Zindarel has red feather wings, but can change them maybe.

Zindarel (optional willpower):
[1-2] nope, you can’t.
[3-5] yes, you can: bat/phoenix/butterfly/dragonfly
[6] above plus DLC content: death-metal wings or no wings at all))[/ooc]

Stunt: 1d12 ⇒ 7

Stunt: 1d12 ⇒ 10

Stunt: 1d12 ⇒ 9

Cassi steps up onto the red carpet catwalk and poses demurely before skipping towards the camera and launching into a spin that displays the voluminous skirt of the dress to full effect.

Zindarel looks from the blushing nerd to the rest of her more fully clothed companions. ”Oh. Did I misunderstand the assignment?” she inquires, but she shrugs it off.

Willpower: 1d6 ⇒ 3

The fairy focuses her will and makes her wings batlike to better sell the succubus angle. She reclines on the big comfy bed in various luxurious poses, winking and beckoning to the cameras.

Poses: 1d12 ⇒ 111d12 ⇒ 51d12 ⇒ 7

Medusa pirate ♥️♥️♥️♥️☀️☀️

Illuria sighs, and her snakes seem to share in her resignation. "I... guess the fruit and wine setup. I mean, when I'm not on deck, I usually look my best among a number of marble statues." She glances over her shoulder at the stone monstrosity and sighs once more.

She plants one hand on a hip as she sways exaggeratedly, her other hand held up in a classic pose while a few of her snakes twine around her forearm. She sashays over to the fruit and wine, taking slow sensual bites of the strawberries and delicate sips.

Stunt: 1d12 ⇒ 5

Stunt: 1d12 ⇒ 3

Stunt: 1d12 ⇒ 8

The nerd seems to fumble for a response as the fairy poses. He checks his handheld tablet, and once Zindarel is finished, he says, “The client says to show you this.”

The Nerd’s Tablet:
Dear Fairy,

You understood perfectly. Nailed it on the first take.


The nerd says, “I happen to agree with Miss Lane, if you don’t mind my saying.” Aaaaand he’s blushing again.

Female Human Socialite

(Botting Betty)

The fashionista can’t help but notice Betty has fallen asleep. But she looks so comfy in her SuccuPlus hoodie and sweats, that the client gives the nerd a good report.

The nerdy guy looks at his handheld device, then says, “The gifts are yours.

“The fashionista who rushed them here is actually Addison Lane, who designs outfits for the Vermilion Vixen, the super heroine who protects the City of Rooftopolis and… well…

“It’s weird, ‘cause the fashionista and the superhero…er, -ine… have the same red hair, obsession with red clothing, thick muscular thighs… um, my wife says.”

He shows you Addy’s profile photo on his device, then an image of an identical woman posing in a recruitment poster for an organization called Femme Slash. The only difference between Addy and the Vixen is that one wears a mask and one doesn’t.

“I strongly suspect… they’re sisters.”

Each gift box contains a red strip of cloth and an instruction:
Wear it well.

The moment you touch the red strip of fabric, you are instantaneously wearing* SOMETHING RED AND FASHIONABLE. (Dress, stilettos, lipstick, undergarment, ruby brooch, nail polish, cape, anything red and fashionable. It can be a full outfit or something you wear with your original clothes.) If you remove the red-and-fashionable-something (simply from a desire not to wear it), it reverts to a red strip of fabric.
*The moment you wear it, it unleashes a power within you.

Max HP up:
• Betty ♥️x7
• Cassie/Illuria ♥️x9
• Zindarel ♥️x5
Max MP = ☀️☀️
Your HP/MP is full!

Zindarel smiles at the nerdy devil when he compliments her. Of course, the fairy’s mask conceals the expression, so he probably just thinks she is glaring at him angrily.

Once the shoot is complete, the fairy dons her normal ninja garb again. She touches the enchanted strip of cloth, and it promptly vanishes from sight. Zindarel giggles as a rush of power goes through her.

If asked where the cloth went or what her newfound superpower is, she will reply, ”That’s my victorious secret,” and wink, but she does not elaborate further.

Channel: 1d12 ⇒ 5

While sleeping on the fireside sofa, Betty turns and accidentally breaks the remote control to the HearthVision. The fire displays lifelike images, though in shades of red, gold and white. The HV is stuck on Channel 5, which is now broadcasting live.

Bixby Snider is apparently keeping the live studio audience entertained with sexist jokes, judging from the punchline you hear when the sound kicks in.


BIXBY (obnoxiously)
“—there’s a clock on the stove!”

The live studio audience laughs.

“What do a fairy and a cigarette have in common? They’re completely harmless until you light one on fire and stick it in your mouth!”

Some in the audience laugh. Two large men in Covid masks with fairy-wing-shaped newspaper cut-outs taped to their backs cross their arms.

“I think his point is fairies are extremely dangerous, am I right?”

CUT TO Zindarel kill-montage.

CUT TO live studio audience cheering, paper-winged masked-men raise arms presumably also cheering!

CUT TO Channel 5 news reporter BOB ORACLE.

“This is Bob Oracle coming at ya—“ (he points at the camera with both index fingers and does that annoying tongue click thing) “—with an update on the Themyscirans’ trial by combat. One of the monsters went out of control, consuming all of the inmates in Cell Block A. Cell Block B almost suffered the same fate, until Captain Euryale used the same attack that petrified the recently-deceased Captain Stonefist’s left hand and rendered him impotent.”

CUT TO gelatinous wall of eyes breaking concrete walls, oozing through columns of iron bars, consuming prisoners. The gelatinous creature slows, fades to gray and becomes solid stone. One prisoner is embedded from the waist up.

“Get me outta here!”

A leg protruding from the stone wall twitches, while a naked obese prisoner stares at a giant eye that is petrified mere inches from him. CUT AWAY.

“The question now is: should the trial go on, or does the combination of victory and life-saving action render Captain Euryale and her crew legally innocent, and is Westedge in their debt?”

CUT TO Bixby’s comedy routine.

“—to get to the other side!” He swivels his pelvis and laughs louder than the entire audience combined.

As Cassi is reaching for the strip of fabric in her box, she is a bit taken aback when Zindarel's disappears. She cautiously reaches to pick hers up... and nothing happens. Nothing visible.

But she looks at it for a long moment before she uses it to hold her hair back. It crosses her forehead, back past her ears, and disappears under her hair where she's tied a knot in it.

She looks over at the captain and says, "I remember. I remember so many things that I had forgotten." The voice is not that of sweet little Cassi. It's the voice of Castra - and you realize that for as you've known her, there's been uncertainty and doubt when she spoke when she wasn't wielding her blades. You realize it because that uncertainty and doubt is gone as if it had never been. The eyes looking out of Cassi's face are those of a warrior.

The superpower is coming together in my mind. Names for the blades, history for the woman that carries them, the smoke begins to clear...

Medusa pirate ♥️♥️♥️♥️☀️☀️

Illuria picks up a strip of red cloth as well. Everyone around her can see that her eyepatch is now crimson and ornate. She checks her own clothes, then underneath them for some sign of the red garment before one of her snakes notices it and hisses in her ear.

She moves to regard her reflection in a mirror, turning her head to different angles to inspect the eyepatch. "Not too bad, I'd say."

It’s easy to tune out Bixby Snider’s jokes because they aren’t funny. His routine goes on. M.C. Bastardom thanks him. Bixby tells one more. Bastardom thanks him. Bixby takes the hint which reminds him of a joke which he tells, then leaves. Bastardom thanks him.

“Alright. Our tech nerd’ll warn the girls, cameras are going back on. What’s the verdict?”

CUT TO live studio audience. About 90% or so have thumbs upward. A guy next to the masked men in makeshift fairy wings turns his thumb down. The men with wings proceed to beat the ever living shit out of him. Others nearby with thumbs down put their hands in their pockets.

“The people have spoken!”

“Looks like the Themyscirans’ trial is over! They survived the gauntlet and defeated the monster that lost control, and we’ll get a feed on the gir—warrior women’s reactions to being declared innocent of war crimes and free.”

CUT TO footage of a downed balloon ship. Bodies of women—an amazon and three nymphs—are hauled out. They are in one piece as they are carried on stretchers. It’s unclear whether they are unconscious or dead.

You recognize the crew. Their ship, the Maiden Voyage, departed Themyscira two days before yours did. This means the footage is from before your battle with Stonefist.

“Whether this declaration of innocence extends to the other balloon ships from Themyscira is unclear.”

There is a knock, and once you are all decent (in new clothes or old—your pick), the nerd enters with an entourage of men in black. They carry high-powered rifles, held at a 45 degree angle.

When the nerd stops walking, the men stop. They salute you.

“Ladies, I’ve been given the okay to get you outta here. These gentlemen will escort you to the service elevator. It’s not as luxurious as the Cake Walk, but you’ve won your freedom.”

He snort-laughs at his own awkwardness.

“Not to steal Mr. Bastardom’s thunder.”

One of the men in black (Sgt. Apone, for those who read the name tag over his badge) says, “Captain Euryale. Let’s get you and your men out.”

“Women, Markowski says. “…Sarge.”

“F#+~,” says the sergeant. “Captain?” He gives a ladies-first gesture that is more military than chivalrous.

It appears you are getting an armed escort to freedom! (Feeling safer already, are we?)

Cassi adjusts her new crimson headband and raises an eyebrow at the turn of events. She looks much more confident than she did before the voyage began.

Zindarel narrows her eyes at the men. "For some reason, I don't trust them," she says quietly to Illuria.

With a thumb behind each side of her new, bright red sponge sweat headband, Betty pulls it outwards and lets it slap back in place. Satisfied, she walks along with a strut, towards the elevator. As she comes up to the rifle men, she turns and speaks.

"You better not try anything funny. You'll have to be lightning fast!"

She does some clunky karate chop moves while making whoosh whoosh sounds, then struts further.

Medusa pirate ♥️♥️♥️♥️☀️☀️

Illuria nods in agreement with Zindarel and casually slaps one of her snakes that started slithering toward the fairy.

She glares at the men. "My ship was attacked, unprovoked, and then you put us on trial by combat to prove our innocence?"

Zindarel wrote:
Zindarel narrows her eyes at the men. "For some reason, I don't trust them," she says quietly to Illuria.

One of the men sees (but doesn’t hear) Zindarel whispering. “Don’t worry, little lady. I got your six.”

Another man says to him, “Really, Drake. Is she even six inches?”

Drake replies, “No. Are you?”

Illuria Euryale wrote:

Illuria nods in agreement with Zindarel and casually slaps one of her snakes that started slithering toward the fairy.

She glares at the men. "My ship was attacked, unprovoked, and then you put us on trial by combat to prove our innocence?"

Apone replies, ”Trial’s over.” He points to the helmet of the guard who spoke to Drake. His helmet has white letters scratched on it: GAME OVER MAN. “Look alive, Hudson.”

The men lead you onto a platform elevator (with safety rails but no walls). The elevator itself is 20 feet by 15 feet, but the shaft itself looks to be 30’x40’. There are hooks, chains, pulleys and girders all about. Basically, not a good place to become a giant. Save growth/dragon forms for another room.

As the elevator starts up, Markowski groans. “What’s with the elevator music?”

Your escorts search the darkness. For what, they do not say. The elevator rises. Sounds of gears and hydraulic pumps and pistons and chains compete with the muzak, and for a moment, it seems the muzak has simply given up.

Then, a calm yet authoritative voice (which you do not recognize) is heard through the many sound-grates in the shaft:
I'd like to take this opportunity to ask every person listening in, whoever and wherever they may be, to pause for a moment and to give thanks in his or her own way.

The men immediately grumble and mock, “The f*+% is that, Sarge?”
“Premature for a graduation speech.”
“Hudson knows all about premature.”
“Again with the dick jokes, Drake.”

Sgt. Apone is about to order the men to shut up, but is interrupted quite suddenly!

Alarms blare! Red strobes pulsate throughout the shaft! The shadows of steel columns and beams create the illusion that the room is gyrating in two opposing directions as the floor beneath you rises!

The same calm voice repeats “peace and tranquillity” through the sound grates.

The Sarge’s mouth opens. He points a finger up, but Drake is quick to realize—“Breach!”

Hudson and Markowski are already aiming their rifles over the safety rail, searching the flashes and shadows for prisoners who have escaped Cell Block B.

There’s a gleam by Apone’s badge. Blood runs from it, and after a second he doubles over, exposing the bone handle of a long blade buried in his back.

The men fire. A body falls screaming between the grid of steel and the grid of shadow. Laughter echoes as Sgt. Apone crumples over the safety rail. Hudson grabs the Sarge’s arm. Drake commands, “Forget him! He’s gone!”

Drake and Markowski start shooting wildly. Only then do you see them—

The prisoners in striped uniforms all cut into strange clothing: conical hats, short-shorts, leg warmers and makeshift sleeves like fingerless princess gloves. Some swing on chains. Some slide down pipes gripped in a figure-four leg lock, keeping hands free. Many carry bone shivs long as machetes.

And then there’s the one right above the elevator, sitting on a steel beam juggling balloons full of liquid!

Defend vs Multiple Physical Attacks!
• d6 Betty
• d8 everyone else
[1-2] full damage
[3-5] half damage
[6+] succes

(And take action in this target rich environment. Those who lack projectiles, there is a dead sergeant who dropped his rifle and has a side arm in his holster. Betty still has one grenade.)

As soon as the tension starts to increase, Cassi shimmers and Castra steps forward, but too late to save the leader. Cassi's crimson headband becomes a crimson domino mask hiding the swordswoman's face. She considers the sargeant's guns, but decides the inmates are close enough - or will be - that she can use her preferred weapons. With a blade in each hand, she feels a rush and everything around her seems to slow down...

Defense: 1d8 ⇒ 7

Stunt: 1d12 ⇒ 12

Crouching down so her butt is nearly on the floor of the elevator, she leaps straight upward (attempting to use the speed boost from the swords to effectively flight straight up) and lands lightly on the steel beam behind the juggler.

If a 12 gives me anything extra, I want to take the balloons away from him as he tosses them up, juggling them myself so I can fling them at incoming targets next round.

Defense: 1d6 ⇒ 5
Attack: 1d12 ⇒ 10

Betty ducks away from incoming projectiles, towards the rifle that's laying around. The rifle, however, is in an open area, with no cover for her to dive behind and she takes some hits. With the rifle securely in her hands, her pudgy finger squirms its way to the trigger. Betty screams: "AAAAAAAAAAHHH!" while she's shooting wildly around her, high enough up so as not to hit any allies.

Medusa pirate ♥️♥️♥️♥️☀️☀️

Defend: 1d8 ⇒ 8

Illuria moves fast and powers her way through the attacks. She pulls her freshly-loaded flintlock as she notices a steam pipe immediately overhead of several attackers. Why explosive objects are always painted bright red, she'll never know.

Stunt: 1d12 ⇒ 12

Max rolls for the captain! Yes!

Defend: 1d8 ⇒ 1
Shuriken Burst: 1d12 ⇒ 5

Zindarel shrieks in pain as she is set upon from multiple directions! She hurls shuriken in all directions, trying to fend off her assailants.

Cassie’s extreme speed prevents the juggler from bombarding the elevator full of allies! Of course, now the juggler himself is miffed. He tries to shove Cassie.
@Cassie, d8 fort!
[1-2] You fall! (No damage, but your action needs to be a stunt to prevent falling past the elevator. The balloons fall, but miss the elevator in this case.)
[3-5] No effect, but you are going to drop those balloons! Better throw them without fail!
[6+] The guy who pushed you loses his balance!

Betty has seen enough action flicks to understand that yelling somehow helps you mow down bad guys as they jump out of ambush positions. Many striped outfits are riddled with red spots. Betty’s railing kill Wilhelm-screams to his death, others follow.

Markowski quips, “Maybe the elevator music should be It’s Raining Men.”

Hudson and Drake are too busy trying to keep up with Betty’s kill-could to give the man a hallelujah. Not that they would have, but Drake might have come up with a dick joke.

What’s not a joke is the sharpened humerus that could have skewered the fairy and split her in two! A line of blood starts to run from her side, but it’s only skin deep. (–♥️) Her attack takes out the man who hit her, and leaves a couple others wounded while in compromised positions. One that is pole-dancing down a pipe can’t stop or slow his twirling descent on account of a star lodged in the back of his knee. The other applies pressure to his wrist while seated of a steel beam, in a spot where surely no one will notice him.

He dies horribly when Illuria bursts the pipe that pumps lava into the ‘The Floor is Lava’ room! It’s only lava-lamp lava and not the real thing, but still, steel beams and chains and pipes being pole-danced on are slippery when wet. There are a lot of clangs and cracks as half a dozen guys (seven, counting the one nobody noticed) tumble down the shaft, colliding with several beams and pipes on the way down. One is gutted by a hook, and left hanging while his insides continue to fall without his outside.

@non-Cassies, Reflex!
d4 Betty - dodge the sawblade frisbee!
d6 Illuria - watch out for the barrage of humerus shivs being hurled your way!!
d8 Zindarel - look out! A Maypole-dancer is twirling at you like a human shuriken!!!
[1-2] Get hit!
[3+] Don’t!

All take actions!
(@Castra-only: stunt or ballon-throw, depending on your defensive roll.)

Fort: 1d8 ⇒ 3

The juggler shoves at Castra, but she withstands his off-balance attempt. Smiling, she balances walking backward and flings balloons, starting with one at the juggler and another at the human shuriken swooping toward the pixie.

Stunt: 1d12 ⇒ 12


She does her best Gatling-gun impression, spraying balloons at attacking prisoners until the balloons are all gone. And she smiles at the juggler as she draws her swords once more...

Dodge: 1d4 ⇒ 2
Action: 1d12 ⇒ 4

Betty feels something flying at her. She doesn't know what or from where. Then it hits her.

The smack in her face makes her drop the rifle. It twirls for a moment around her finger before dropping to the floor.

Reflex: 1d8 ⇒ 8

This time, Zindarel dodge-rolls out of the way with grace and panache!

Attack!: 1d12 ⇒ 1

But her attacks go wide!

Medusa pirate ♥️♥️♥️♥️☀️☀️

Dodge: 1d6 ⇒ 2

"Ugh." Illuria is struck by... something.

Attack!: 1d12 ⇒ 5

In the chaos, everyone on the elevator is struck by something!

(–♥️, Illuria and surviving guards; no damage to Betty)

Illuria’s thigh is slashed by a thrown bone shiv, while Hudson and Markowski each end up with a skewered limb. Markowsi drops his gun over the safety rail and applies pressure to the wound on his arm. Hudson drops to a knee, looks at his impaled thigh and shouts, “Eat this!” as he fires back!

Drake has a femur axe lodged in his helmet. He pulls it out it casually and brandishes it one hand. His free hand draws his sidearm. He helps Hudson and Illuria shoot the bad guys.

Zindarel trades misses with a foe, who sidesteps a shuriken into the path of many bullets.

Castra whips a blue balloon at the man diving knives-first at Betty! His body is doused with a chemical that freezes him, transforming him into a frigid corpse that flops against Betty’s hefty back, and shatters on impact. The red and yellow balloons are as potent as a grenade! Flaming limbs flop from each blast!

The last balloon is green—not the only green balloon that Castra tossed, but with all of the explosions it was impossible to note other effects, assuming they’re color-coded.

The green balloon splats against the juggler. It’s just water, it seems… only water doesn’t normally melt the skin off of one’s skull.

The top of the shaft is visible, and there are two Maypole Dancers on a beam above.

One says, “Aw, man… I was really hoping to kill a woman today.”

The other replies, “I know, right? I ain’t killed a woman since college?”

The one who reminisces about college years is immediately struck in the back of the head by a cream pie.

Both men turn and leap onto a platform, which is in fact the elevator’s destination.

• Maypole Dancer gang is now a Maypole Dancer duet!
• Balloon grab prevented juggler from melting Drake’s face off!
• Hudson & Markowski also survived!
• Betty ♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️☀️☀️
• Castra ♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️
• Illuria ♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️☀️☀️
• Zindarel ♥️♥️♥️♥️☀️☀️

The elevator reaches the platform, leading to an inclined corridor where three men in clown suits are murdering the remaining Maypole Dancers with plastic sporks. Once barely-alive dancer has an eye hanging dangling from its socket. The other is crawling toward you as if expecting assistance.

The clowns are madly stabbing, seemingly oblivious to our heroines. One clown has a bone shiv buried in his gut and seems not to feel it.

Drake grits his teeth as he spies a couple of bodies in guards’ uniforms further up the ramp.

No attacks against you this round, but you may take action!

Zindarel is terrified of clowns! She shrieks and wildly hurls shuriken at them!

Clown Killer: 1d12 ⇒ 3

Medusa pirate ♥️♥️♥️♥️☀️☀️

Attack: 1d12 ⇒ 9

Illuria rallies from the wound she received and draws her cutlass. She starts darting in and out, slashing as she goes while her snakes get into the action by striking at any clown trying to sneak up behind her.

Attack: 1d12 ⇒ 9
Not finding any weapon within reach, Betty bull rushes the nearest clown, horns of her helmet forward.

With her foot, Castra shoves the screaming juggler, flailing around blindly, hard enough to miss the elevator as he plummeted down the shaft. Hopping down from the beam, she follows her friends toward the clowns, casually applying her blade to the crawling Maypole Dancer as she passes. “Since college, huh? I hope they are waiting to torment you when you reach Hades’ domain.”

I think she has a lot of movement to do to catch up and avoid tripping on a body or weapon. Her stunt this round is basically to hustle through the debris - and finish the wannabe.

1d12 ⇒ 3

While the kill was easy enough, she failed to allow for the fool’s death throes. An involuntary kick completely sweeps her feet out from under her and she fails to catch the others.

Two clowns are taken out; one wounded. Castra kills the man who bragged about the killing spree that sent him to this bizarre prison. Drake shoots the one remaining clown.

The surviving guards are ready to back you up, but as they’re about to disembark, distant screams rapidly approach from somewhere up the ramp—

(The ramp curves upward, like in a parking garage.)

—what comes around the bend is a duo of extremely terrified clowns in a red wagon followed by clowns in a green wagon! They’re racing out of control and right at you!

non-fairies, reflex to dodge!
• Betty d4 • Castra/Illuria d6
[1-2] Hit / [3+] Safe
((Don’t take action. The wagons will speed past you if you dodge.))

((Since Zindarel doesn’t need to dodge, she can take an action if she wants to.))

Zindarel shrieks and hurls shuriken at the passing clowns for good measure!

Take That!: 1d12 ⇒ 8

Medusa pirate ♥️♥️♥️♥️☀️☀️

Dodge: 1d6 ⇒ 4

Illuria leaps out of the way like a swinging boom needs to be avoided!

Dodge: 1d6 ⇒ 21d6 ⇒ 5

Using speed boost to roll defense with advantage

Castra starts to dart to her right, but the swords’ enhancement allows her to completely change direction and have time to get out of the way.

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