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Betty Long's page
58 posts. Alias of RafV.
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Betty looks at the universal remote, then at the land floating around. For a moment, she thinks of zapping rewind on the flying rock, but who knows what side effects this may bring... Maybe they'll still float around but have dinosaurs about! She shrugs and thinks: "Guess I'll have to pull my weight for a change." Hiding behind a rock, she turns into a dragon once again. Grabbing the end of the land with her tail, she pulls everyone and the island to the sunset.... Then around as they have to go that way instead.
Will: 1d8 ⇒ 8
Pause button: 1d12 ⇒ 4
Betty just ignores the blaring the way she ignores the doorbell whenever she's watching TV. She aims her remote at the thought cloud and presses the pause button.
Healing: 1d10 ⇒ 8
Fort: 1d6 ⇒ 2
Betty can be heard muttering: "Think happy thoughts... Think happy thoughts..." She thinks of that one time she was laying on the couch with a big bucket of popcorn and a giant bottle of soda, watching a TV show. She thinks of that time she was laying on the couch with a big pack of chips and a giant bottle of soda, watching a movie. She thinks of that time she was laying on the couch with a big box of chocolates and a giant bottle of soda, watching some reruns. It makes her feel much, much, much better. She's a bit too distracted to notice the gravestone coming for her head, however.
Fort: 1d6 ⇒ 5
Bite the biter: 1d12 ⇒ 6
The poodle weiner dachshund balloon monster tries to bite Betty. She tries to get away, and succeeds in avoiding the teeth, but gets pushed away by its nose. Before she flies off, she manages to get a good gnaw into its balloon nose herself.
Defense: 1d6 ⇒ 5
Remote channel switching: 1d12 ⇒ 6
Betty tries to avoid as many crows as she can, but the sheer bulk of her makes it impossible to avoid some hits. She then flips her remote up in the air, catches it again and aims it at the cloud of crows, changing channels.
Fort: 1d6 ⇒ 5
Betty's avoids the damage like the nimble gazelle she is. She aims the remote at the giant clown and presses the "program info" button.
Remote: 1d12 ⇒ 11
Will: 1d8 ⇒ 7
Betty has seen too many movies to be even just impressed. With a big yawn, she points out how the lighting is off and you can see where the greenkey cutting happened.
She then aims her remote at the thickest cloud of crows and presses the brightness button, turning brightness up to maximum.
Remote: 1d12 ⇒ 3
Listening to Zindarel, Betty tries to walk and... lo and behold, she can! She quickly rushes towards where the little fairy points her, the bridge shaking with each step.
In a slight panic, Betty tries the rewind button again. It cannot be that a remote doesn't work! Such a nightmare!
Rewind: 1d12 ⇒ 9
Reflex: 1d4 ⇒ 2
Betty is too big to get out of the way of the rocket and gets blasted off the bridge. She hastily scrambles to aim her remote at herself and press the rewind button to reverse the arc back to the bridge.
Universal remote: 1d12 ⇒ 3
Betty raises her universal remote control. "Leave that up to me, I'll make them stop with this!" A big, proud grin adorns her face, making you wonder where the matter that was there before, went to.
Betty sticks her head out of the window and yells back: "Turning in for the night sounds nice! Where is the nearest inn?"
Battle of wills: 1d8 ⇒ 3
Shove tea back: 1d12 ⇒ 6
With the fiery whitey-tighties gone and her feeling better, she notices a stream of piping hot tea flying at her. She turns towards it. "Your tea needs some sugar, mister!" she yells.
With furrowed brow and fiery eyes lit by hatred of healthy things, like for example tea, she gives her bottle another good shake and smashes the teeth-rottening beverage into the imminent tea tide.
Healing: 1d10 ⇒ 8
Will: 1d8 ⇒ 6
Having laid on a couch, smelling her own fumes plenty enough times, Kurtis' last breath doesn't even faze Betty.
She's feeling a little under the weather nonetheless and starts thinking of that one TV show about half a dozen of best buds living in an apartment building, specifically that one episode where nobody knew what one bud's job was. That's exactly how it is with all the people she's doing payroll and vacation days for: Who knows what they actually do!
These happy thoughts make her feel so much better. She's ready to fight the big giant once more!
Fort: 1d6 ⇒ 3
Crotch moistoning: 1d12 ⇒ 10
Being visibly shaken from all the slamming, Betty vigorously moves her gear up and down before gushing at the crotch one more time.
Dodge: 1d4 ⇒ 2
Dripping wet, sticky crotch that attracts wasps and other insects: 1d12 ⇒ 7
A giant foot approaches Betty. She sees the fiery loincloth above her and thinks: "Let's douse that!" She sprays an endless spray of fizzy soda up the giant's crotch. It takes too much time for her to properly avoid the foot, however...
Betty aims the fizz bottle, lets a spray of endless soda shoot at the giant's knee and yells: "Let's get fozzy, baby!"
Defence: 1d6 ⇒ 4
Betty jumps out of the way and lands. She smiles a sheepish smile as the floor shakes from her landing, glad she's not the heaviest person in the room anymore.
Does this roll herald Fizz?: 1d20 ⇒ 4
Betty takes out her endless bottle of high-fizz soda, making sure it's shaken, and stirred.
"What's a party without a drink? I brought some!"
Aiming the bottle at the party, she opens it...
Couch Potato skill: 1d12 ⇒ 6
Girly magic: 1d10 ⇒ 1
The candles and carpet are obviously magic. Betty feels as if she's seen this in a TV show before. She's trying her hardest to remember what show, but all it does, is give her, is a headache and a pimple.
Will: 1d8 ⇒ 5
"That's worse than those talent show singers! At least those were entertainingly awful."
More annoyed than anything at the sudden assault on her good taste, Betty moves forward, ready to shut the trap the singing is coming from.
Dodge: 1d4 ⇒ 3
Maybe it's Betty getting out of the way of the car. Maybe it's the car getting out of the way from Betty. Who will tell? The result is all the same.
Attack: 1d12 ⇒ 9
Not finding any weapon within reach, Betty bull rushes the nearest clown, horns of her helmet forward.
Dodge: 1d4 ⇒ 2
Action: 1d12 ⇒ 4
Betty feels something flying at her. She doesn't know what or from where. Then it hits her.
The smack in her face makes her drop the rifle. It twirls for a moment around her finger before dropping to the floor.
Defense: 1d6 ⇒ 5
Attack: 1d12 ⇒ 10
Betty ducks away from incoming projectiles, towards the rifle that's laying around. The rifle, however, is in an open area, with no cover for her to dive behind and she takes some hits. With the rifle securely in her hands, her pudgy finger squirms its way to the trigger. Betty screams: "AAAAAAAAAAHHH!" while she's shooting wildly around her, high enough up so as not to hit any allies.
With a thumb behind each side of her new, bright red sponge sweat headband, Betty pulls it outwards and lets it slap back in place. Satisfied, she walks along with a strut, towards the elevator. As she comes up to the rifle men, she turns and speaks.
"You better not try anything funny. You'll have to be lightning fast!"
She does some clunky karate chop moves while making whoosh whoosh sounds, then struts further.
Fort: 1d6 ⇒ 2
Stunt: 1d12 ⇒ 9
Considering Betty's size, the obvious happens: A barrage of skull shards sting her in the back while a spray of blood washes over her. Absolutely grossed out, Betty pulls her shoulders up and digs her head between them, tucking it forward as well as she hurries out of there. She does a tippy toe run, slapping the wall aside with her hips and quickly slips past.
Burn, baby! Burn!: 1d12 ⇒ 7
Betty rears her head and tosses it forward again, blasting another wave of fiery death. This time, she aims at the armor itself, trying to heat it up, potentially melting it onto the monster.
Fort: 1d6 ⇒ 6
Attack: 1d12 ⇒ 12
The sprouting heads spook Betty and she instinctively jumps away before anything can grab or bite her. She turns at the three new heads, a bright, white light growing at the back of her throat. Soon a burst of whitehot flame shoots as her fiery breath flies out. How she doesn't burn her uvula and tongue remains a mystery, although a diet of "extra spicy hot chili" flavored potato chips may have something to do with it.
Seeing as the only monster in the room has fallen and the door is still locked, something has to be done to leave. Betty's transformation acted up a little bit and she now has a beaver tail, goose wings and a dragon head. Using the beaver tail, she pummels the now dead knight-chimera til he's nothing but a bloody smear, yelling: "And stay down!", then turns her gaze at the rats in the corner.
Magical girl Betty's magical magnificent marvelous mysterious miraculous dragon transformation!: 1d10 ⇒ 3
Betty dances to drums, moving closer and closer. Her tummy and... arms' swaying build up evermore momentum. As she reaches the giant, she goes in for a grand finale. She twirls and twirls on her tippytoes, her arms arching above her head. The momentum that's building up is becoming almost palatable! That or it's the sweat that's flinging around... From the twirl, Betty leaps forward, releasing all pent-up momentum in a flying kick straight in the middle of the giant's back tattoo.
Fort: 1d6 ⇒ 4
Reflex: 1d4 ⇒ 3
Will: 1d8 ⇒ 6
((4 steps, 4 strikes))
Attack: 1d12 ⇒ 11
Fort: 1d6 ⇒ 5
Reflex: 1d4 ⇒ 3
Will: 1d8 ⇒ 6
Betty starts shaking those hips to the rhythm of the drums. Her tummy shakes along, left and right, left and right, as she puts a step forward, and a second one, closer to the giant's back. Her hands make wave motions, left to right and back, to the beat, as her head and all her chins bob along. She's starting to feel more and more sure of herself as she dances along, actually feeling like doing something instead of just sitting on her butt. That swinging, swaying butt...
As she's dancing forward, she wonders: "What's the giant's back tattoo about; why is that specifically what we should aim for?"
Fort:: 1d6 ⇒ 5 => Holding it together
Reflex:: 1d4 ⇒ 3 => One step forward
Will:: 1d8 ⇒ 6 => Glean a truth
Betty has had worse when she accidentally sat on the volume button and didn't feel like reaching for the remote. She slowly takes one step forward, towards the giant's back.
Save Willy!: 1d8 ⇒ 2
Attack: 1d12 ⇒ 9
Out of nowhere, and far away from Bob, Betty gets smacked by a fist that cracks like roaring thunder. The sting from the punch pisses Betty off. She was laying so comfortably in that cradling crater! Turning her gaze at the one she's seen throwing thundering attacks before, she rushes over to Bob, slamming her head into him, pulling him along and smashing him into a broken part of fence pole before she flies upwards to avoid impaling herself.
Embedded X-smash: 1d6 ⇒ 4
Attack: 1d12 ⇒ 12
Betty tries to squirm away, but there's too much debris, fence and corpses in the way, so she's too slow. Tony smashes on top of her. All the squirming did manage to give her some leeway. Betty moves along with the impact, resulting in simply being stuck there. She immediately wraps around the giant tiger and snaps her giant jaws at his neck.
Willpower: 1d8 ⇒ 2
Attack: 1d12 ⇒ 1
As Betty coils up to bite Tony's head, he kicks her away. She flies across the arena, into the fence, through the fence and lands into the crowd. Needless to say, her bite misses from there.
The Fatso Strikes Back: 1d12 ⇒ 12
Betty coils her tail clockwise around the giant's ankles, her head going counter-clockwise around them, til she's wrapped his feet entirely. She then squeezes tighter and tighter... and tighter, then yanks his feet backwards from underneath him.
Hammerroid Betty?: 1d6 ⇒ 1
Tony the tiger grabs Betty between some scales. It tickles! Betty giggles and squirms, which results in her doing most of the heavy lifting for her opponent.
Couching Betty Pouncing Dragon: 1d12 ⇒ 1
((Well that sucked))
The giant green dragon coils down, ready to pounce at any opponent who dares come closer. The moment one of them moves, however, it turns out sitting on her own tail keeps her back. The giant maw with razorsharp, fist-sized teeth snaps as it slaps on the floor.
Magical girl Betty's magical magnificent marvelous mysterious miraculous dragon transformation!: 1d10 ⇒ 10
Out of the blue, Betty gets grabbed. She's surprised and scared and... in an instant, before anyone knows it, just like that, she's turned into a green dragon with a bewildered look on its face!
Arrival of inspiration for a good fart joke: 1d6 ⇒ 2
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Tail wag: 1d8 ⇒ 1
Pose or line: 1d12 ⇒ 7
Laying down into what Betty thinks is an irresistibly sexy pose, but actually looks like a fat chick laying in a couch watching TV, she takes a sip and says:
"Foxy Fixx for foxy femmes!"
Throwing in a wink, she downs the rest of the drink. All the while, her tail is circling around like a helicopter. It spreads the smoke above Betty, as if she just finished smoking a whole pack of cigarettes.
Defend: 1d4 ⇒ 3
Catch fairy stunt: 1d12 ⇒ 9
After years of practice catching bags of potato chips falling off her couch, Betty off-handedly paws the flying fairy out of the sky without breaking eye contact with her attacker. Like a real matador, she sidesteps her attacker's lunge, fairy safely in her pudgy fingers. Her jiggling belly guides the failed attack further past her.
Fort: 1d6 ⇒ 3
Attack: 1d12 ⇒ 4
Big Boned Betty digs her heels into the ground. She's not planning to be pushed back. It would mean having to walk those extra steps. Imagine that, having to take unnecessary steps! The blow pushes her upper body backwards, and when she recovers, she heaves the banister downwards at whichever asspants is in front of her.
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