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"Oh let me have a shot," says Guess? as he takes over Melissa's voice encoding effort.
Passphrase: I'll forgive my sister someday. I'll forgive my sister someday. I'll forgive my sister someday. And admit her friends aren't half bad either.
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Aside from all the operational data and reports, Guess? leaves a letter on official company letterhead:
From: Bullseye Shipping, LLC
To: Eline Reisora, EJ Corporation
Re: Operational testing and invoicing of the Oliphaunt
Please find attached all details and findings of our tests and operations of the Oliphaunt.
It has been our pleasure to provide you with our services. As discussed, these services have been provided free of charge and if you determine our work to be satisfactory, then we look forward to further contracts at our standard rates.
Note, however, that our rates for testing station docking security facilities will be going up early next year. So if you find yourself in need of 'reisora-ing' benchmarking and tests, please contact us soon so that we can work out a project contract before our new rates take effect.
Our rates for other services, such as standard ship tests, flights and transport operations will not change at this time.
As always, reach out at any time should you have any queries or require additional details regarding our reports.
We look forward to working with you again in the near future.
Regards,
Niva Rovo
Director, Ship Testing Division
Bullseye Shipping, LLC
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Regards,
Niva Rovo
Director, Ship Testing Division
Bullseye Shipping, LLC
You land your enormous treasure barge on the chosen barge, next to the comparatively subtle Last Chance. A small figure in a patchwork space suit, still containing many pieces that are EJ branded, hops in the low gravity over to you. Even as you open the cargo door ramp, Tarika bounces up and into the ship. She tosses the wrench she has been worrying and gives each of you an enormous hug. "YOU'RE ALIVE!! I KNEW YOU WOULD BE! NEVER DOUBTED IT FOR A SECOND! ImeanIkindOFdidFORaMINUTEbutTOTALLYjustFORaMINUTEandNOTreallyIbasicallyALWA YSbelievedYOU'DdoITiMEANwhoWOULDN'TitWASjustAheistOFepicPROPORTIONStoRIPoff Asemi-evilRELIGIOUScultOFtheirENORMOUScapitalisticDIRTBAGriches!" She takes a huge gasp for breath, then breaks down into asthmatic coughs and gives you a chance to chime in. "A little behind, but when isn't my favorite crew!? YO, you will never guess. You're famous! Kind of..." She pops a tape into the ship's terminal. Several late night type info-mercials begin to play. "HAVE YOU SEEN THESE CRIMINALS? THEY MURDERED A LITTLE OLD LADY IN HER SLEEP! CALL NOW, FOR YOUR REWARD!" - "IF YOU HAVE SEEN THESE DISGUISED CELEBRITIES IN YOUR COMMUNITY, CALL TODAY FOR YOUR PAPARAZZI BADGE AND FINANCIAL AWARD!" - "HAVE YOU ENCOUNTERED THESE PACT WORLDS GOVERNMENT OFFICIALS IN THE LAST NINETY DAYS, YOU ARE ENTITLED TO FINANCIAL COMPENSATION. CALL TODAY!" Tarika shrugs. "Many powerful groups are now hunting you. I'm guessing most of these are funded by the Kalistocrats, but who knows. Sinjin, Eline, some random dead mercenary's sister? Hard to say. Now, everyone’s lookin’ for you as a crew,” she says, “the crew of the Last Chance. It’s time for ya each to go your own ways for a while, leave the ship somewhere safe, and let the heat die down. I’ll take care of sellin’ the loot. For a very small fee, of course! Tiny! Percentage wise, I mean.” She gives you a familiar cheesy smile.
"Now, you're in an awkward sitch. Two hard-stolen, I mean, earned ships and only enough crew for one of them! Well I don't do ship sales. Too much robbing-at-gunpoint for my taste. So I firmly support you giving it away. And I suppose Ms. Reisora would take better care of it than your gobbo friends - not racist, just true." Her eyes flick to Guess?, then she scootches backwards a ways. Your group splits in two and you fly both ships to Del's family mountain. Once there, you all gather on one ship to write a message to Eline using Del's infosphere account. Melissa gets the Eline voice right, but the AI spits out I'll kiss my mister someday. Guess? is able to set it to the proper password with a few more tries. In the meantime, Tarika begins lining up trusted long-time clients for instant-sales of the more easily moved inventory in your barge.
"Wait, you mean split up and hide out separately? Will that be advisable? People coming after us may be able to ambush us more easily if we're each alone, no?
"I mean, I could easily disappear amongst the goblin gangs... errrr... goblin tribes for a while. And honestly, I'm pretty sure with all my past disguises, I can disappear fairly well.
"But without each other nearby to back each other up, aren't we easy targets?"
Guess?'s demeanor illustrates obvious unease.
Akh stares at the commercials before slowly leaning over to look at the rest of the team "See? What did I tell you. Terrible. We should have stuck to transporting deadly wild animals that mysteriously start exploding mid-journey. It would have been safer." Then at the suggestion of splitting up he adds "In horror vids, that just gets everyone killed by the monster except for the main character. So probably only Del will survive. The rest of us would get individually tracked down, cornered, and turned into scrap." He visibly deflates at the thought.
"Maybe it's time for us to go out into the Vast and set up a nice farm, growing tomatoes that never stop screaming, or some other flavorful vegetable that'll keep the kalistocrats away..."
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"Easy targets?! No way, you'll be covered by your wealth and mystery and be five moving targets in a sea of much poorer targets!" She throws her hands up in the air. "And disappear among the goblin tribes? Only if you're bringing them along on your luxury pleasure cruise, or if they're holding your rifle bag while you hunt down albino defrexes on the verge of extinction!" She looks around at all of you with a dropped jaw. "Y'all! This isn't like the horror vids! This is like those dream-life-sim infomercials! Everything you want, and more... You made it! Time to pop the bubbly!" She heads over to the fridge, head shaking all the way. "Here's what you're going to do. We'll drop the goods in a series of warehouses on Absalom Station. You'll each grab a taxi going in opposite directions, and meet me back at my place in one month. I'll give each of you a lump of creds from the instant sales I'm working up here. Then I'll give you a corporate charge account for all of the decadent absurd and filthy things you'll be doing for that month. And a month from now you'll come back with a fresh tan and share all those stories you earned while I was slaving away selling these ill-gotten gains!" She claps her hands twice. "Then y'all will go buy a planet or something and I'll take Shan on the vacation of a lifetime on our new hover-house boat on bretheda." She smiles smugly. "You'll be living the dream! What could possibly go wrong?!"
Level up! Welcome to Level 9 and the end of The White Glove Affair!
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Melissa and Guess? are able to work the system, setting up to bounce the mail across a few different satellites.
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Del spends hours writing and erasing messages on her comm unit before she finally settles on something short and sweet.
Eline,
We've done our share of hurting each other. For a long time, the letters I wrote you said 'I forgive you,' even though I knew a sorry was never coming. But for the last year I've been on the other end of that discussion, tossing messages and apologies into the void and hoping you'll forgive me.
I'm sorry. I hope this helps make up for it.
Love always.
Del
P.S. I forgive you for trying to get me killed again.
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I may want to encourage Dizzy to take a vacation away from his crew and send him enough credits to go see epcot.
Grab mom and dad and hit the deeper part of the drift, with 40 acres and a mule, translate months of farmville into a rank in profession farmer. We've heard about this settlement "New harmony" out in the middle of nowhere we could avoid trouble. Sounds like a nice quiet place where nothing could go wrong....
I know we're supposed to split up, but Melissa might want to try to ask Akh to come with her. Someone needs to keep an eye on him.
She has ONE thing to do first...
Even with the shades the room is absurdly bright. Sunglasses mark someone as a newcomer to the burning Archipelago, but no one would suspect the non de script brown ysoki in hand me down acolyte robes of having anything worth robbing. She stands on tippy paws to peek over the reception desk.
"Uhmm...Hi. I think I'm going to need to talk to your boss. I didn't make an appointment but I can wait. "
"Regarding?"
"One confession. One donation. And possibly one miracle." She sets a chunk of pink rock on the table.
"without an appointment there's no way to... " Melissa swipes the black corporate card into the donation box ".. I'll make some room."
Melissa is going to at least start the process of seeing if someone can revive the pinkstone elemental. You usually can't just resurrect an elemental, but whats the point of having more money than God if you can't hit up a god for a favor?
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"Not to teach your sister to sheer sheep Del, But she has her project to replace the golden barges back ahead of schedule, plausible deniability that it ever left, and SOMEONE has just demonstrated the golden barges are a pirate magnet that NEED a less conspicuous replacement. If she can't turn that into a promotion or at least a funding increase, her problems NOT with you. "
Melissa has definitely been around Guess? too long.
"Still need to talk about that android forced labor though. "
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Guess? listens to Melissa's response to Del and nods and nods and nods. "Yep! You tell it like it is, sister!!"
Assuming Del doesn't mind Guess? looking at the letter, Guess? will mention, "If you think it'll make a difference, none of us will take offense if you add in: P.P.S. I also don't blame you for wanting to kill my crewmates - even I want to murder them in their sleep half the time.
"It's all scapegoating 101, you see. My personal philosophy is... IT WORKS! (when delivered effectively.) And I approve of it!! (so long as you know how to deliver it.)
"You shift the blame on us to improve your relationship with your sister. Later, if the rest of us need to improve our relationship with Eline, we'll shift the blame onto some oher poor sod. That poor sod may eventually shift the blame back to you and you back onto us. It's the circle of life!"
" What could possibly go wrong?!"
"Why does everyone keep saying that?" Akh's hollowly moans "If you just think about it for a minu-" he looks from side to side at Tarika's exuberance and any enthusiasm from the rest of the team and just gives up.
He contemplates that the current situation might just be the worst one he's been in yet. Splitting up and lying low while several different dangerous organizations are actively trying to hunt everyone does nothing good for his anxiety, even as it proves him right. It was going to be a long month.
That quote about money not buying happiness might be right... but at least it can buy snacks.
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"Come on Akh. We'll grab mom and dad and hit the vast, and I'll teach you a prayer Dad says for the souls of those coming to kill us. May grandma grant them a quick death, for mother will not."
Guess? listens to Melissa's response to Del and nods and nods and nods. "Yep! You tell it like it is, sister!!"
"DEFINITELY too much time around Guess?. Time to hit the vast."
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You send off Del's message, along with Melissa and Guess?'s reports, to Eline. The lot of you bundle into the treasure barge, formerly the White Wind and now the Second Chance! Del slides into the wide pilot's chair and orients the ship towards the homing beacon that is Absalom Station. As you pop into the drift, Tarika travels between your battle stations. "You get a credstick! You get a credstick! EVERYBODY GETS A CREDSTICK!" She hands each of you a credstick with 6200 credits, then sends you an info-message with the "corporate" card info that contains 40 build points! “This is only the tip of the iceberg,” she insists, practically hopping with glee. “By the time I’ve sold off all this cheddar, y’all are gonna be millionaires!”
You begin planning your time apart on the trip back to the Station, gathering on this new, but familiar, ship galley.
- CHARITABLE WORK: You leverage your finances to fund a good cause, boost a charity, fund a nonprofit, or back a political campaign. Activity: You spend a month attending closed-door fundraisers, meeting with influential people, building new headquarters, organizing events and ground teams, and tackling other logistical challenges for your cause.
- ENTREPRENEURSHIP: You use your resources to dominate a major market in the Pact Worlds, earning a reputation as a formidable businessperson. Activity: You spend the month building a business empire or working the stock market.
- EXTRAVAGANT ADVENTURING You keep your skills sharp by participating in pricey escapades to faraway locations, hiring guides, and sponsoring fellow thrill-seekers to experience fun and (limited) danger. Activity: You spend a month partaking in commercially controlled adventures, such as going on a safari on Castrovel, big game hunting on Vesk-2, or leading high-end mercenary companies on Apostae.
- GRANT FUNDING You fund scientific endeavors, supporting research and development for the good of mankind—or corporate profit. Activity: You spend a month reviewing applications for your many research grants, overseeing recipients’ experiments, and distributing the results through publications or conferences.
- HIGH-ROLLING Your money funds a gambling spree the likes of which the galaxy has seldom seen. Activity: You spend the week reveling in seedy dens like King Curney’s Kasbah or the illustrious Vestani Gaming Complex. Your losses are insignificant given your exorbitant wealth, but the rush is intoxicating.
- LAVISH LIFESTYLE You live a life that’s the envy of the Pact Worlds, indulging in every luxury without care for cost. Activity: You spend the week living in luxury, indiscriminately enjoying fine dining, expensive leisure activities, and costly hobbies.
"I suppose," Del concedes to Guess? and Melissa. "We're nearly even, right?"
Later, Del considers all the many places she's been. "I think I'm going to open a bakery. Where do you think is a good location?" Remembering all the explosions, dangerous encounters, and close calls she's experienced, she shakes her head. "Maybe I'd better go somewhere new... One of Bretheda's moons, maybe? I kind of stand out, I suppose... Maybe I'll go to one of the creche worlds in the Diaspora... I don't know who my biological parents were, but I suppose I might have distant relations there. And even if not, I'll blend in among all the other sarcesians, at least. I hear they're pretty liberal when it comes to enforcing Pact laws broken outside their circle. Live and let live and all that, you know?" She grins. "Yeah, that's got potential..."
Looking at the others, she muses, "I'm going to miss you all. When it's safe, you should swing by for a cupcake or something... Just don't get the place blown up!"
"I'm a goblin who's achieved success. I've got a blueprint. Can't say the same for most of my kind. So it's time to share my knowledge and empower other goblin tribes. Lift them out of poverty and squalor. Teach them to follow in my footsteps... Have them all think like me. Act like me. GENERATE REVENUE LIKE ME!
"At the end end of the day, given my resources, it's my responsibility to lift my people up and improve their lot in life. And I don't really need anything in return... Well aside from all the tribes to worship me as a god and mythical figure for generations to come!
"As for how to impart my knowledge and experience, I've got a plan... And it won't be cheap! But once I'm done and I get the rest of my payout, it'll be time to acquire that private moon and retire!"
Speaking to Del, "With your wealth you can easily hire the best investigators to determine if you have any living relatives. Perhaps you can pursue that in addition to your bakery."
After a moment of considering how much of a pain her current family is, Del tips her head back and forth in indecision. "Yeeeeeah, maybe when I'm less wanted. With my luck I'll just get their house all shot up or something. Or you'll rob them."
Guess?'s face immediately expresses indignation as he opens his mouth to protest, "I would nev..."
Mid-sentence, he pauses a moment. "Sounds reasonable."
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As the group continues to discuss their plans for the next month, you pop out of the drift with the familiar sight of Absalom Station out the front of your now extra large bridge. Moments later, your comm dings as an incoming written message arrives. Melissa gives just a glance at the sender's name before shouting into the all ship comm. You gather, taking a look at the reply from Eline Reisora, Senior Vice President EJ Corp.
Darling sister. You should know by now, 'sorry' is only in the vernacular of pitiful disappointments. But as Mother always said: only others' failures can make your star shine brighter. And, you did return my ship. And, those empty skin sacks you call friends did include some mildly useful data. We'll see, perhaps I can salvage my career and religious progression. But what do you care about that? After all, it's only my immortality apart from the judgement of mere mortals.
Perhaps I am being too hard on you, little one. After all, you did survive my minions. (Watch out for the Grey, by the way; declined closure of that contract.) And that bit about Rovu was clever. And grabbing the barge was clever. Like the illegal version of a hostile takeover... Not that the kalistocracy feels the same way. I swear, if they remove my temple rank... Nothing is more important than my eternal reward. Nothing. Well. Perhaps you can be allowed to exist. It is a wide world; perhaps there is room enough for the both of us. If you'll stop stealing my ships, that is. (If I hear that face-warping goblin use our parents' good name in vain one more time... I'll nuke him from orbit.)
In business, I have single-minded focus. But when I speak with you, all that drops away. I am beset by... emotions. It is distasteful, and heretical. But, as a gesture of goodwill, I would like to give you something. I have been working on my memoir, that it might bless those who come after - who are unworthy to walk in my footsteps but aspire nonetheless. Please, review my latest chapter on a formational experience that happened just after you abandoned our family.
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What? We all have to part ways and come up with our own businesses!?
At first Jaraduk panics, but then he thinks of what he can offer a free market.
Gym memberships!
He once heard of an old gym on Absalom Station, with some sort of piratey name. How hard can it be?
The first version of it is called "Mess with the Bull". It features treadmills with bull horns mounted behind them (don't fall off!)
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Melissa Scans that excerpt like an email from an Akitonian prince that needs your bank account to move a fabulous amount of funds off planet...
"It's amazing how often "hard work" comes down to having rich parents, letting someone else die for you, getting lucky and then doing something horrifically evil to capitalize on it...Wow that's...Industrial level evil. Sorry del but that's pretty much the same thing the dragon did and we got her mind wiped by a ravenous ball of homicidal electric feels. But hey.. the things you put up with for family"
Charitable Work: Melissa & Guess? (separately)
5 or 12 parsecs should do it.
"You calling this "enrichment program" Ziggurat enterprises? "
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After seeing Eline's response, Guess? says to Del, "Okay, I get it now. Honestly, if all the religious doctrine could be stripped away from her being, she and I would be soul mates."
Guess? chuckles a bit as Del recoils in horror at the thought. "kekeke
"But seriously, if you want to restore good relations with her you'll need to earn vast amounts of money... But legitimately. That'll be the only way to earn her respect. I'll keep this in mind and see if I can spot a way to help you achieve exactly that."
Replying to Melissa, "My charity organization will named 'No Guesswork'. My slogan will be 'We take the guessing out of success! A blueprint for building financial security to last generations!' Many generations of goblins will follow in my footsteps!"
"They will if I'm covered from head to toe in gold and diamonds!
"All tax-deductible expenses for charitable purposes, of course..."
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Akh waves away Melissa's offer to join her, saying "I'm going to go out to the Vast and find some uninhabited desert planet where I can bury my head in some sand. Please do plant some screaming tomatoes for me though. I think they may end up both useful and delicious, and I wouldn't want to miss out." All told, he feels a little suspicious of Melissa's family and isn't quite sure if he can deal with three or more Melissas at once in any case.
However, as Akh is getting ready to hire a small long-distance Drift-capable ship to take him out to a properly uninhabited wasteland, another thought crosses his mind. That probably, if he goes, everyone else in the team is going to be tracked down and picked off one by one. Probably in a very unpleasant and bloody montage. Having already effectively lost Sinjin, the one person who had treated him in a friendly way, he can't help but feel that he doesn't want to lose a whole new batch. So instead of taking the ship out, he steels himself for a very different task...
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When the others fill him in on Other Reisora's response he says "We should have given her the treasure barge back, but filled it with plagued exploding livestock trained to hunt kalistocrats." He seems entirely serious.
When the others fill him in on Other Reisora's response he says "We should have given her the treasure barge back, but filled it with plagued exploding livestock trained to hunt kalistocrats." He seems entirely serious.
"BWAHAHAHA!" laughs Guess? with full enthusiasm. "Oh such a kidder! Hahaha!!!"
But then the enthusiasm slows down. "Haha! HA. Ha. ha..."
And the laughter stops.
"..."
"Oh wait. You're serious.
Thinking a moment, Guess? says, "Perhaps you'd enjoy a universe-wide eating tour instead?"
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Del feels sick to her stomach after reading the excerpt from her sister's memoir. Slightly sicker when Guess? remarks that he and Eline could be soul mates. By the time Akh mentions exploding livestock she's decided she needs to be elsewhere. She takes a few turns around the starship, pacing its corridors, and its grand sitting rooms, but staying well away from the cargo holds. Eventually, she settles into the kitchen, deeply regrets the poorly stocked pantry. Still, she works with what she's got, for the most part. She admits there was smidge of extra-reality pilfering required to make the icing...
Soon, it's time to disembark and take a break. Give the ship a paint job. Do something new. Hopefully, opening a bakery would be far less dangerous.
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You land on Absalom Station, at Docking Bay 94. Scarred from previous Spike gang skirmishes with each other and the station police, it has fewer authorities than other docks. You all say goodbye to Tarika, who waves you on. "Don't you worry about a thing! I'll take care of business, and keep your mountain of gold warm while you're out partying. See you in a month, dearies!" You then turn to each other, preparing to say goodbye - for now - to the crew who you've grown so close to in the past few months.
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"I don't feel right about splitting up like this but I suppose it's the smartest, safest thing to do. Look, you all have been the best team I could've ever asked for. It'll take a lot of adjustment not seeing all of you everyday, but I look forward to catching up with all of you again in a month!
"And Del, maybe by then I'll have some ideas for you on how to make some more money and ease your sister relationship troubles!"
Guess? bids everyone a somber farewell but makes it clear this isn't goodbye. Rather, it's a seeya later!
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Guess? dives down into the depths of Absalom, gathers up his extended family, multiple goblin tribes, goblin gangs and any other goblins who will listen. Guess? starts by throwing a massive feast with copious amounts of GOOD food. The rest of the crew are invited if they'd like to join - especially Del and Akh considering they're both foodies.
At the feast, Guess? addresses the crowd, "Some of you know me. Some of you don't. But like all of you, I started with nothing. And now I'm rich beyond my wildest dreams!
"Look, I'm not here to show off. I'm not here to recruit you. I'm not starting up a new tribe or gang. I'm not here to overthrow anyone. I don't need none of that usual BS. You know why? That's right! Cuz I'm filthy rich, which gives me all the power I can possibly want. UNIVERSE-WIDE power! Not just here in the slums or on this station! And that's cuz money transcends borders!
"So why am I here if I don't need any of you? Well cuz it's time for all goblin-kind to get their fair shake! I'm here to teach you how! Listen to me, learn from me and apply yourself. I guarantee you'll be better off! Some of you may even do as well as me. None of you will do better than me - c'mon, let's be realistic. But your life WILL improve!
"And no, this isn't a scam. Everything I've learned, all my lessons, it's all free!"
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And with that, true to his word, over the next month, Guess? kicks off a series of free workshops (food provided) to teach every single goblin how to better their lot in life.
Needless to say, Guess? remains disguised the entire time, never revealing his true appearance.
And hey, these are goblins we're talking about. So he remains armed and vigilant at all times, even though he keeps his closest, most trusted relatives close by as an entourage of bodyguards and assistants.
The workshops and classes he provides to the entire goblin population are titled the following:
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Akh eyes Tarika with suspicion - after all, she's being left in charge of a truly enormous amount of wealth with essentially no oversight. However, Akh himself has absolutely no clear idea of how he'd liquidate such a haul without getting the Kalistocrats falling on him, so he resolves to trust Tarika at least with this... for now.
Akh waves to the others, offers his dour predictions about the success of their respective endeavors, and then heads deep into Absalom Station to start his work. He figures the Downlow is as good a place as any to begin. Coincidentally, that brings him right into Guess's feast and, let's be honest, who can resist that? He fills up on a little of everything as Guess begins his speech, then weaves his way through the crowd. If he finds someone dissatisfied with the Kalistocrats he stops to encourage them to fight back. Otherwise, he takes a bunch of snacks with him and continues deeper into the Downlow to even shadier places.
Back when he'd been a mindless guard for the Golden League, he'd often come here while the members of his "family" had conducted "business". Now, he heads back to those same places to find where the dissatisfaction for the current economic order is strongest. He spreads stories about how incompetent the Kalistocrats are, and how wealthy they are, and how bad at cooking they are in equal measure. When someone seems interested, he puts some money in to their efforts to run raids on the Kalistocrats, but follows it up with a clear threat if they're not successful. As he does all this, he starts forming an idea, that maybe the Golden League had it right. Maybe he just needs a large enough and tight enough "family" of misfits. A gang, you could call it. Something big enough and powerful enough to take the whole Kalistocratic philosophy down...
They could be called The Culinarians.
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A few more workshop titles:
One by one, Del gives each of her friends and big hug and a dozen cookies, packed neatly in a box. "Take care! Be safe! See you soon!" Always, she lingers longer than she should, and always she feels off after—alone and on edge in a way she hasn't been in a while.
Tempted by the phrase "good food" and a little nervous about heading out alone, Del accepts Guess?'s invitation to his initial feast. She enjoys the food and admittedly gets a little too nosy in the kitchen. By Guess?'s dessert speech, she finds herself nodding along and then goes wide-eyed. Clearly she DID need some time away. Thankfully, she doesn't read the curriculum list.
She slips out that night, hopping aboard a shuttle destined for Sejada, and gets to work opening her cozy little bakery and cafe, calling it 'Indulgence'.
She makes new friends and finds success, but she can't help but keep looking over her shoulder, and she can't shake the guilt she still feels for how terribly she treated her sister—though she admits, objectively, her sister's a pretty terrible person too.
In the end, she settles for a modest bakery and a modest home, and send the rest of her vast wealth to her sister with one final note: "You owe me. But, let's call it even." After sending it, she wonders if, perhaps, her tone might have gotten the best of her. She's too distressed to realize that she may have just given away her location.
Her problems, as always, she solves with a cupcake.
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"I'm going to miss you guys. At the same time, I'm glad I'm not going to be anywhere NEAR Absolom station for...whatever you've booked half of level 22's catering for. " she looks at the itinerary ""Righty tighty lefty loosey, a harmless mimetic or the mans way of imposing order on a chaotic universe" "Safety ? Necessary ? By Guess?", "Radiation can be radical! High risk high reward jobs in the reactor core..." you should NOt be sharing Shreks advice on that.
She gives everyone a hug (but does check the contents of her pockets to make sure the rat trap is still there after Guess) "Regardless of how this works out we'll see you in one month. Whether we keep doing..."shipping" or not. "
"Del, things will get better with your sister eventually. Promise. You two haven't even stabbed each other. BIG sis and I still talk after that...mom makes us though...You know CAN you appeal to mom? " cheekpouches the cookies before guess can swipe her share.
"Akh, try to have some fun. You're just starting out, plenty of time for the universe to go right ok? "
She rummages around her bags and takes out a rat plush almost as big as she is, with a bullseye over their eye. "The pun doesn't work and its not as cute, but this should keep you company for a little while. "
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Guess?'s month goes extremely well - only fourteen armed robbery attempts, and only two by one of his most trusted relatives! A few weeks in, his students begin gaining students, creating a pyramid organizational structure. With just a few days to go before meeting up with Tarika, Station Spike State University reaches out to discuss bringing his courses on campus as part of their new marginalized people's development program. At the end of the month his clamoring students - ready to go out into the Pact Worlds and better themselves - come forward with a massive card signed by all of them and promises to spread his lessons.
A few dozen levels down at the end of the month, Akh is reclining on a throne of empty credsticks. Before him is reclined a goblin. "My lord, I seek entrance to The Culinarians. I have my certificate from my Capitalism 101 course and I have a complete understanding of the Kalistocrat way of life! I have the perfect way to breach their protections!" A pale kasathan man approaches, hunched, to stand beside Akh. "Why do you lay these troubles on an already troubled mind?" He leans down to whisper into Akh's ear. "My lord, even if the Kalistocracy is breached, it will take a number of credits beyond reckoning." Akh, checking the date, remembers that he may just have that. The android picks up his favorite memento from The Culinarians and sets out.
Del gains a sense of calm but also loneliness unlike anything she's experienced in a long time. She befriends her sarcesian neighbors, enveloping herself in a racial heritage she was cut off from since birth. Dinners at the house next door, asking a new friend for a cup of sugar (rather than warping it in from the Sugar Plane), planting seeds in the district garden. It's everything she's ever dreamed of. And yet, the highlight of every day is checking the box on her digital calendar and seeing the countdown tick another step towards the day she will be reunited with her found family. Del, double fisting a cupcake in each hand, dictates the message to her sister with the information for her account on the team's corporate card. Unfortunately, two days later a band of half-orc, human, and orc pirates land at the creche's port. They claim to mean no harm, just stopping for fuel, but begin asking if anyone knows a Del Reisora at the port bar. Del's new community does not betray her, stalling the pirates and giving her time to escape. She makes it out with just one treasure to remember her time on the asteroid.
Melissa heads back home for a "quick" visit to her family. Somehow that leads to several weeks of chores and helping grandma fix up some heavy laser mining tools.
Jaraduk keeps his "goodbye" simple enough.
Stop by my new gym when you get a minute! Free memberships all around, and tell your friends!
He stops to think and adds, What if we're really successful at these gigs? Is it possible we've done our last jobs out in space, away from the station?
He hmms thoughtfully and walks off to find a good storefront lease. He finds the perfect spot between a bait & tackle shop on one side, and on the other an old Taco Smell converted to a title loan and cash4gold-press-latinum.
They seem like honest enough businesses!
It turns out a few treadmills with dangerous gimmicks does not draw memberships. He visits a renowned gym owner (or at least one who got a short interview in the local news), Lenny! This guy has a gym themed after some lost, gap-era pirate movies. Except without spaceships they plundered on large bodies of water? Sounds made up.
So anyway, Jaraduk decides that maybe he should up the gimmicks. Perhaps a mechanical bull to hold onto for strength and endurance. Perhaps an old west theme with decorative saloon doors.
A couple of well-place ads on local network programming (perhaps, with Guess? as a spokesperson who lodges himself in the brains of viewers), and Jaraduk waits to see how many memberships he can rack up for his (maybe) one-month, pop-up gym.
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There's a lot of usual responses to having an arrow thud into the tree you're hiding behind with barely half an inch from separating the pointed shaft from you ear. Screaming. Cursing. Freezing. Running. Running away screaming and cursing.
"Dammit dad!!!!" isn't usually one of them.
It wasn't ENTIRELY fair to blame a man for not recognizing his own daughter through shapechanging tech, holoskins, and one adorably knit black and green hoodie. Part of her was still mad at him. Though not a very big part.
A tall thin ysoki popped up out of a small hollow in the ground with another arrow already drawn. He ran over to the other ysoki before dropping the bow, picking her up and spinning her around "oof.. I thought you'd stopped getting bigger. If it didn't work out with that shipping crew you can have the entire bunk to yourself now."
"Have mom knock off a few more years... it worked out. It really worked out. What do you say we get out of the war zone? 40 acres and a M.U.L.E. No bosses, no overseers, no HGS no more BS."
"No can do hon. We got a whole crew of our own here to worry about. You can get all of us out or none of us out. "
"It really. Really. Worked out."
Cue Melissa trying to fly in a cockpit packed to the gills with dwarves, and operate a clutch with the neighbors goat kid on the clutch while her terrified Dad tries to back seat fly.
_3 weeks later.____
Melissa's putting the last rock in an arch and pulling her hands out.
"Whoo hooo thats the last one... " a few rocks later and she yells up "Let her rip! " Water starts gushing past the impromptu aqueduct, trickling down the rocks. Some angry muttering comes back on the radio.
"Eh. Its working it doesn't need to be efficient. Dwarves... "
Melissa heads back to her one room stone and timber house half burried in the ground labled "Ysoki town" and flops down on a leaf cushioned cot. The smell of cooking makes her whiskers twitch even with her eyes closed. {b]"Whats for dinner" [/b]
"Bird thing. Unless your mother shot another one of the ibex things."
"Bird thing is fine...If we find a species of freedom dolphins here it will be perfect...just perfect.... "
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Akh is ever suspicious of anyone and everyone, even those he's roped into his crusade against the Kalistocrats. He takes no advice from anyone, especially suspiciously pale kasathans with hunchbacks. He comments "The good thing about the kalistocrats is that they're full of credits. Once you steal from them once, you can use those credits for your next heist. You just need a bit to get started." He instructs the latest goblin recruit to go forth, gather an elite(ish) team and make the Culinarians proud. He doesn't mention that he's likely to get caught and die... or worse, be put in one of their exceedingly bland prisons.
Satisfied that he's gotten the ball rolling, Akh picks up a pair of gloves that have been stolen from the Big K in recent days and goes to rejoin the party.
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Jaraduk works hard at his gym, upping the level of kitschy western decorations with each week. All it takes is a totally real commercial with totally-not-planted goblins hard at work on the machines and getting tossed by the mechanical (and possibly also the biological) bull to draw in the crowds! But, fads do pass and Jaraduk has a hard time keeping customers past their free trial. After a month, he decides to find someone else to manage the gym while he returns to Tarika. (Possibly that Piratey gym owner wants to franchise?)
Melissa's time with her family is as fun (as it ever is) and involves as much love and violence (as it ever does). However, the addition of a little extra muscle and a little extra funds (and the removal of those hobgoblins shooting at you) results in a stable little home for her massive extended family. She returns to the station with an empty cred-wallet but a full heart - and a desire for plenty more time away from her family.
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A month after you separate from your crewmates, you receive a video message. The familiar brenneri sits in her living room, tossing her favorite wrench from hand to hand. In the background, Strek and Shan are playing some variation of dominoes. "Well hey, good lookin'! Time for you to come on back to Station and start diving in and out of your mountain of gold like money hoarding duck!" She laughs to herself as the pair behind her aren't paying attention. "I've taken the liberty of renting out a room fit for the occasion." She looks around her humble cramped home that you remember well. "Let's just say those extra large checks won't fit in my living room. I'll attach the address. You better dress up nice! And show up on time! And bring me a souvenir from all your fun adventures!" She dramatically rolls her eyes. "You know, do fancy people stuff. Because you're rich and stuff now."
You enter the address into your datapad, and it brings up Absalom Zero five star hotel in The Eye district. Stepping out of your robo-taxi, you pause to take in the golden elegance of the skyscraper that stretches nearly up to the dome overhead. Behind you, the largest park on station is full of playing families, sparkling fountains, and the cooing of bioengineered doves. You arrive individually, heading up the transparent glass elevator to the penthouse on the 18th floor. This luxurious chamber drips with finery, from the twin crystal chandeliers to the marble countertop kitchenette. A massive flatscreen entertainment system stands before an assortment of plush couches and armchairs. Ornate wooden chairs surround a giant mahogany table, and an elevated workspace overlooks the entire room. The north wall offers a stunning view of a shopping plaza far below and of the starship docks on Absalom Station’s Arms. You begin to catch up as you await Tarika's sure-to-be fashionably late arrival.
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Melissa arrives first apparently, wheeling in a dining cart higher than her head loaded up with fresh tomatoes. If anything a month with her family has made her MORE paranoid, and she gives the place the once over with her trichorder and scent whiskers.
"The tomatoes DON"T scream, but mom did just about everything else to their genes. She even made the stalks glow in the dark so I can keep working past sundown, that was nice of her. I did have to cheat and print the mozzarella but that always tastes printed anyway. "
"Mom couldn't talk dad into carrying the next litter he's a traditionalist like that so Looks like I'm still baby of the family. That might change now that we're no longer in a war zone though. Gotta build my own house but there was the planting and the digging and we needed some iron at least... The new guy keeps trying to put a cow into the UPB grinder to print hamburgers and showing him how to do it the old fashioned way was a NIGHTMare...passed out three times. "
"Doesn't seem to matter how much money I make, it seems the optimal thing to do is to keep up with out rather lucrative businesses. Any idiot can turn a stream into a self powered gravity pump, but a colony can always use more money for starships. Specially before we're fully self sustaining. this is not an excuse to stay away from the family
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More than a little sad at having to leave behind Indulgence, her idyllic little neighbourhood, and her new friends, Del arrives with a huff, hooded and magically disguised for good measure.
"Well, the bakery was a success and I have the cutest little house. I even went on a date for the first time in ages. Did you know that neighbours sometimes give you things? Like, sugar? And fire extinguishers? They didn't even try to charge me interest!" She shrugs. "Anyway, some bounty hunters tracked me down and I had to book it out of there, so it basically ended in disaster. I hope they don't trash my bakery. Someone else might be able to use it. That gorgeous oven deserves that at least..."
She sighs, then smiles. "So, how'd it go?"
If Akh could scowl at the overly luxuriously appointed hotel room, he would. Still, the presence of his friends there made all that finery seem drab. "Regular tomatoes? That's something you don't see every day." He grabs a few and stuffs them in his maw. "They're good! We should plant some more here somewhere."
He waves to Del "My vacation went... Hmm. It was very productive. I'll have to check back in on it later and see if it's out of control. In retrospect, it probably will be."
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You know, it's really tough out there. Have you heard of this "urban hiking" fad? People seem to think they don't need gyms anymore, but just wait 'till they try to hike through the spike! Anyway, I got some decent advice from this guy, Lenny. I expect my gym to make some money for me while we're away! It was a nice change-of-pace, but I'm happy to get back out there beyond the drift!
A couple of well-place ads on local network programming (perhaps, with Guess? as a spokesperson who lodges himself in the brains of viewers), and Jaraduk waits to see how many memberships he can rack up for his (maybe) one-month, pop-up gym.
Guess? is more than happy to help Jaraduk out with any marketing efforts, social media posts, promotional events, and so on. Anything to help a longtime friend make a buck!
Guess?'s month goes extremely well - only fourteen armed robbery attempts, and only two by one of his most trusted relatives! A few weeks in, his students begin gaining students, creating a pyramid organizational structure. With just a few days to go before meeting up with Tarika, Station Spike State University reaches out to discuss bringing his courses on campus as part of their new marginalized people's development program. At the end of the month his clamoring students - ready to go out into the Pact Worlds and better themselves - come forward with a massive card signed by all of them and promises to spread his lessons.
Guess? responds to the university and negotiates for a full tenured professor position with an inflated salary, complete control with no interference on research priorities as long as Guess? can secure funding, and an office on a high floor with a view, not some dumpy basement office with flickering lights. This is just a starting point for talks, of course - everything is negotiable!!
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As you chat and stare out at the starship dockyards far below, all of your datapads ping at the same time. You barely have enough time to check, seeing a frantic text from Tarika. "GET OUT! IT’S A TRAP!” At the same time, five individuals wearing jetpacks fly up and through the glass window; most are armed with flamethrowers. The central figure, an android with less armor than the others, points and speaks with an external speaker in her chest. "There they are. You know the drill, soften her up then leave her for me."
The ambushers get the jump on you! The android pulls up a rifle, firing it at Del. A needle, full of a clear liquid, tings off her armor.
The rest of the group swarms in like locusts. They surround you, and three of them let loose with petrol-fueled flamethrowers!
The elegant room is suddenly full of acrid smoke and charred furniture as flames engulf the sitting area around you. "Android and Nuar have resistances, ma'am." The public comms is filled with these mercenaries' communication. "No excuses, you know what to do." You eye the enemies' armor, recognizing the style...
Though rarely seen in public, you recognize this armor as belonging to the elite warriors of the Golden League Syndicate. Though you've likely irritated multiple Golden League families as you've traipsed across the galaxy, one in particular comes to mind from your early days as a group... Sinjin...
Melissa 26 damage
Akh SP 83/99 HP 67/67 RP 8/8
Guess? SP 54/54 HP 47/47 RP 10/10
Del SP: 33/45, HP: 49/49, RP: 5/5
Jaraduk SP 67/72, HP 69/69, RP 10/10
"Why is Del always the popular one?" wonders Guess? aloud. "Is it because she's large, beautiful and comes from a rich family?"
Guess? backs up, pulling out his laser pistol and fires at green!
"Ahhhh... People attempting to murder us and our weapons don't shoot straight. Just like old times!"