It's unlikely she needs it, but even if she's down, Poog will club smash Lottie, Because Goblin.
The goblins go all 'gremlins eating after midnight while being sprayed with water' on Lottie. Her screams of pain ring out across the farm, until Poog silences her with one final clubbing.
The goblins don't find all that much in the way of obvious treasure on the woman: a frying pan, courtier’s outfit, perfume (tastes like minty
licorice), bottle of fine wine (tastes even better than
the perfume).
The pools of blood around the dog and woman finally stop growing as they expire soon after.
"Let's look for cool stuffs in the hut, before the other goblins steal 'em."
Poog hops over Lottie's corpse, joining Mogmurch in searching for massive loot. "Find prizes, take prizes, right?"
"Crazy dog lady dead. Phew. We am true Goblin Heroes!"
Reta stows the frying pan for later.
Mogmurch leads the others into the giant fancy hut and rummage from room to room. The place appears to be empty of people, although outside the goblins can hear some of the longshank (and shortshank) guests screaming when they come near the house and see the corpses outside. No one comes calling to bother them.
Inside the home is all manner of neat stuff. Soft squishy beds, raised up high off the floor for some reason. Colorful blankets, fluffy pillows, dressers filled with goblin sized clothes, and a kitchen with all kinds of food laying out to be eaten.
"WHOA! Longshanks sleep on bouncy beds!?"
Unable to resist, Chuffy immediately climbs up on one and begins jumping up and down and even bouncing from one bed to another. It'd almost be a cute sight if it weren't for the mud and blood that he's tracking and splattering everywhere.
"Wheeeeeee! Maybe longshanks not all dumb after all? This is fun!"
"Pillow fight!" Mogmurch grabs a fluffy pillow and goes room to room searching for loot and hunting enemies.
Reta spies some cloth. Using her dogslicer, she slices and dices a rough cape out of it.
"Ha! Now we're heroes! Everyone gets capes!"
The goblins quickly discover what its like to be just what they are: kids. If the owners of this house weren't dead or fled, they'd be pretty pissed at the destruction that happens when goblins get in.
Before too long the goblins can see out the windows that the barn is fully engulfed in fire, and its spreading to the tables with all the shiny words and colorful paper. Not to mention the food and cake. Bummer.
A familiar pig wanders in and joins in the party. Running around the kitchen squealing and knocking over chairs. He bumps up against Mogmurch and scratches his backside against his leg.
"Pig is good. Pig knows you are hero, Mogmurch!" Reta laughs.
"What next? Return home and celebrate heroism?"
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Poog is enamored when the pig joins in, and doesn't care who it might seem aligned with. He throws himself on top of the animal and attempts to ride it. "Just like Zarongel, Poog charge into next fight atop mighty steed! Cut longshanks down and trample them to death!"
"Bwahaha! Heroes, heroes, we be heroes! Grab all we can take and go home, longshanks never mess with Licktoads again!" Chuffy cackles as he grabs for any and everything that his little stubby arms can carry - pillows, bits of curtain, silverware, clothes, food, the works.
"Licktoads live like kings!"
Poog leaps on the pig with a hoot and a holler. He wraps his legs around the cake greased pig and waves his arm like a real cowboy. The little pig takes but a few steps before falling over under the weight of his rider. This little piggie needs to grow up a bit more before Poog's dreams can come true.
Chuffy goes from spiteful killer to home decor expert, gathering only the finest appointments for his hut (finest/closest/easiest.. whatever). What about the others? Should they make off with the goods back to the village or apply more random destruction around the property?
Reta grabs what she can and prepares to head back home. Another day of heroics. That's what they are!
Mogmurch stuffs his pants with goodies until they're fair to bursting. "Let's head to the crib, guys!"
"Weak pig. Should kill you too," Poog grumbles as he hops off the animal. "Yes, back to home! Go and celebrate heroes we is like Chuffy says!"
"Take pig with? Show Licktoad way, train to mighty steed!" Chuffy urges, pumping his fist in the air.
Then he shrugs.
"Or Licktoads make into food. Win-win either way!"
The young goblin crew gathers up all the food, loot, and fun stuff they can carry and march off through the still growing chaos around them. The plucky pig trots along side Mogmurch, its face covered in a mixture of cake, dirt and ash thanks to the group's destruction of the barn and refreshment tables.
As the group leaves the farm, all those who gorged themselves on sugary sweet cake are now feeling the sudden lethargy that punishes all those with a sweet tooth. Fighting the urge for a nap they move forward, except Poog. He avoided the cake and feels great.
With the raging fire, long shank screams, and goblin singing fading behind them, the group can now say they've won their first raid: survived it.
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A few hours later the group rolls into Licktoad Village. They are one of the first goblins to return from the raid and are quickly ushered into the Chief's big hut to give a report.
The chief's speaker relays Gutwad's curiosity "So? Raid good? Raid must be good, so much stuff and you not dead. Tell great Chief all the good stuff."
After stories are told the four young goblins are all hailed as the next great Licktoad heroes. They are whelps no longer, now they are revered great ones.
Reta 'New Kettlehead': Vicious swordswoman.
Chuffy 'Still Gross': Supreme stabber.
Mogmurch 'Maker of Plans, Master of Pigs': Blows stuff up gooder.
Poog 'Zarongel's Booger Blaster': Now with MOAR bad hygiene.
That night the village celebrates. The next day it rebuilds.
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"I am Mogmurch: Maker of Plans and Master of Pigs!" Mogmurch cheers and reaches into his bulging pants. "And Master of My Domain!"
You are goblins of the Licktoad tribe, who live deep in Brinestump Marsh, south of the hated man-town called Sandpoint. Once, other goblins tried to burn Sandpoint down, and they would have been legends if they had succeeded. But they didn’t bring enough fire, and got themselves killed as a result. Yesterday, your tribe discovered that one of your own had been using forbidden arts and was engaged in one of the greatest of taboos:
In fact, rumor holds that what he was writing was a history of your tribe! There’s no swifter way to bring about bad luck than stealing words out of your mind by writing them down, and so your tribe had no choice. You branded the goblin’s face with letters to punish him, which is why everyone calls him Scribbleface now, and then you ran him out of town, took all of his stuff (including his mackerel!), and burned down his hut.
That’s where things got interesting, because before you all burned down his hut, Chief Gutwad found a weird box inside. Inside was a map and a lot of fireworks—fireworks that immediately came to use in burning the hut down. Then, this morning, Gutwad announced that tonight there would be a feast in order to drive out any lingering bad luck from Scribbleface’s poor decisions. But perhaps even more exciting, the four of you have been secretly invited to meet at Chief Gutwad’s Moot House. Why would the chief want to speak to you? It can only mean that he’s got an important mission for you all... one that the other goblins of the tribe couldn’t pull off. This could be your chance to go down in Licktoad history!
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Slorb, right hand goblin, and official speaker of the Chief, drags you from your overstuffed, fire watching stupor "Up up up! Chief want to see you, right now. Go go go!" He shoos you along, pulling on anyone's ear if they don't get moving fast enough.
He escorts you inside the building you've come to know: The big Chief's Moot Hut. Its a veritable museum of Licktoad heroics— crammed with trophies such as stolen weapons, shiny bits of treasure, and the brine-pickled bodies of dozens of brutally slaughtered small furry animals (mostly dogs). Placed in front are a pair of familiar sights: 2 large pickle jars. One with the head of a panic stricken Witch, and the other containing the entire pickled body of a wire haired ankle biter from a certain wedding... Nearby on the wall you see the head of the particularly fearsome mini horse the Witch was riding!
Inside, Chief Gutwad sits precariously atop the Teeter Chair. Apparently its been rebuilt since Mogmurch sabotaged it... "You sit, you sit, you sit!" Slorb tells the group to sit on the dirt in front of the Chief (a great honor!), but then, much to your surprise and shock, Chief Gutwad speaks to you directly in a deep, booming voice.
“You all be heroes. Each of you. You are best Licktoads but for me. And maybe but for Slorb."
"Thank you great, great, great Chief!" Grovels Slorb.
Gutwad gives Slorb a dirty look for interrupting, then continues his monologue "You all be heroes. Each of you. You are best Licktoads but for me. And maybe but for Slorb... That you aren’t fleeing in terror from mighty sound of my voice is all the proof you should need. Yet soon, ALL Licktoad goblins will know your might, for I have picked YOU for a dangerous mission. You know about fireworks and map we found in Scribbleface’s hut?"
He asks then answers "Fireworks were fun. But map is MORE fun. It show a route to place near the coast where Scribbleface found fireworks. And it says there are MORE fireworks there! I want them for Licktoads. You all go get them tomorrow. Tonight we have big bonfire to burn bad luck away from you, and we play many games. Much fun. Tomorrow you fetch me fireworks."
"If you meet men, you make them dead." He adds in, pointing a finger at each one of you.
"IF YOU MEET DOGS, YOU MAKE THEM DEAD." He continues, making a fist and pointing to the pickled ankle biter.
He leans forward, spittle flinging from his mouth.
"If you meet Lotslegs Eat Goblin Babies Many, you maybe should run..." He leans back into his chair, looking up into the corners of the hut nervously...
"And if you not find fireworks, you not come back or we feed you to Squealy Nord!” He snarls, picking up a large flopping fish from a bucket, and biting its squirming head off clean.
Slorb pulls his slouching self to attention, knowing full well when its time to leave the Chief's presence "Ok time to go go go! Games to be started, be ready!" And he escorts the group out to the sounds of crunching fish bones slobbering.
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Chuffy Lickwound stands tall - or about as tall as a goblin can stand without taping boxes to his feet. He puffs out his chest with pride, a malicious gleam in his eyes. The cowbell hanging about his neck rattles and clangs; one of many things he'd claimed as treasure from the Great Licktoad Party Crashing of...um...Some Moons Ago.
"We be best Licktoads! Best but for Mighty Chief Gutwad! And guess Slorb, too. Best! We make Licktoads proud, bring back lotsa fieryworks and boomies!"
Then, he pauses and leans in closer to Poog and Moggy.
"Um, what Lotslegs Eat Goblin Babies Many, again? Chuffy forgets..." he whispers, reasoning that one of the two of his bestest pals would probably know the answer. Reta was bestest pal too but not brightest firework in box.
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Poog hobbles into the hut looking almost regal compared to when you had seen him a few days ago. Tied around his neck is a tattered brown cape and on his head is a big warty toad.
"Poog back for more, bestest friend Chuffy, now with fifty percents stronger boogs too!" He digs his finger into his nostril and comes away as if he had stuck it into a bottle of green marmalade. The toad quickly snaps his tongue out and gobbles some up. "Dogfinder, not for you this time! Bad Dogfinder. Be good and say hello to friends!" He toad croaks at the other goblins.
"Lotslegs Eat Goblin Babies Many? Sounds like worse than crazy witch lady. Hmm. But maybe sound like has many legs. Maybe I can ride him?"
"Ooh, yeah! Maybe big enough BOTH can ride?" Chuffy exclaims, his eyes lighting up. "Licktoads really be powerful then, make longshanks everywhere pee with fear!"
The goblin gets a faraway look in his eye, clearly imagining a future where he and Poog (and maybe Moggy and Reta too) terrorize the countryside atop a nebulous creature that has lotslegs.
"Would be loverly, huh?"
The Chief looks back and forth between Poog and Chuffy, groaning slightly as he does so. These are the best the Licktoads have to offer? Not good.
"Lotslegs is a BIG SPIDER! Eats many goblins over the years, not friendly for riding like goblin dogs." He gives Slorb 'THE LOOK' who quickly ushers the group out of the hut.
"OH! Like Stankrush," Chuffy remarks even as Slorb pushes them out of the hut, reaching into his pocket and pulling out a small wire cage with a spider nestled inside. "Hmm. Okay. Guess Lotslegs maybe not best for riding then if really really REALLY big," the goblin sighs, clearly a bit disappointed.
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Mogmurch bids an amorous farewell to his mate Rempty, who licks his face clean before he turns away.
"Oh, Moggy, your use of alchemy is so very clever," Rempty says, trailing the jagged tips of her nail-bitten claws along his sleeve.
"Sorry, my dear, but Chief Gutwad has summoned all available Licktoad heroes." The alchemist dons his bent and broken spectacles and snaps the bracers suspending his voluminous trousers. "Gotta go."
Rempty can't hide her disappointment and unrequited longing. "While I love the flavor your experiments leave on your face," she adds, licking her chafed, green lips, "I worry that you’ll some day blow yourself up, when I'm not around to protect you, sweet-ums."
Mogmurch gives her an irritated look, then he heads for the door. At the threshold, he turns back. "Frankly, Rempty, I don't give a damn."
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Reta's been doing great ever since the farm raid.
She has a much better white dress, with red streaks of blood drawn across it.
She smiles as she sees the head of the crazy horse witch and the horse she came in on.
But most importantly, she's a hero. Her friends are heroes. And heroes get new missions!
She can barely hide her excitement at the quest to get new fireworks. "Yah, big boom!"
She also emphatically yells "Yeah!" when the chief wants to make men dead.
"YEAH!" She grins when he mentions killing dogs.
She yells when he mentions dead horses. "We kill one-" she points to the mini horse "We'll kill more, chief!"
She imagines riding back to town atop a mighty wolf (not dog!) strapped with explosive boom booms, firing them upon longshanks and horses. Watching them flee as fire burns around them. Chief Gutwad smiling proudly and wiping tears from his eyes, and then passing on the title of chief to her. "All hail our new chief! Then the wolf suddenly slides backward and flips Reta around, mumbling "go! Go! GO!"
And the wolf sounds like Slorb for some reason.
Reta realizes he's pushing her and her friends out of the chief's tent and snaps back to reality. "Games, then fireworks. Then we're biggerest heroes!" She claps.
Reta swears she sees the Chief make eye contact with her for the briefest of moments, its obvious he approved of her loyalty and fanaticism. Or was that part of her dream, hard sayin' not knowin'.
Slorb directs everyone out then shoves a piece of ratty cloth into Mogmurch's hands. "Chief says TAKE this." From the scribblings and lines its obviously a map from the village down to the coast to an old boat. Its pretty straight forward, following a stream that drains the toad bog and headed to the shore. Unfortunately there is a big circle in the middle of it that includes a spider's head: the stream goes right through it.
The goblin heroes are left to their own devices all afternoon while most of the other schmucks around the village are busy building a great bonfire for tonight's festivities. Half burnt timbers are dragged out of the remains of Scribbleface's hut and reassembled in the big fire pit for extra burning.
As night falls, a loud rings through the village and a group of four struggling goblins carry the Teeter Chair (with Chief Gutwad sitting atop it) out to the bonfire. "Lift better, chair heavy!" Squeals a whelp as he struggles under the weight of his corner. "Talk less, lift MORE!" Bellows Loptop, the hero's former whelp wrangler. Apparently still whipping whelps with her switch. The whelps' complaints cease as they slowly carry/drag the chair to the prepared bonfire.
With a look the great Chief silences the crowd then points to Slorb to make the opening remarks "Tonight we have BIG BIG BIG party! Heroes play fun games before tomorrow going on BIG BIG BIG secret mission!" He grins and nods emphatically, looking up at the Chief who shakes his head angrily at the mention of the 'secret mission'. "Umm.. big party.. that's it... ya, just big party..." Slorb corrects himself before taking a few nervous side steps away from the fire.
Chief stands on his tall chair, then points a small fire work at the stack of wood, bark, grass, rusty metal, decayed gull skeletons, and an old wagon wheel. A red hot missile flies out and into the grass, lighting the fire. Then another missile flies out, this one aimed directly at Slorb, then another! Then another! "AIIIEEE!" He screams as they scorch holes in his J Crew shirt he found at Target tunic. The power of these fireworks are obvious.. they must be found!
Once the flames reach their peak the food is dumped in piles around the blaze: that's how goblins do it. Everyone descends on the fish, birds, and eggs gathered from the forest that morning. Chief even donates a barrel of fermented apples to the celebration, quickly a fan favorite. Rempty brings the heroes each a sickly sweet smelling apple treat "So yummy, must try these, so... yummy..." She slurs as she waits, nodding her head.
After a couple hours of crazy food, fire, and fun the goblin games begin!
Poog grabs an apple and tosses the entire thing into his mouth. "Big tasty apple taste GOOOD!" He demands another, and another for his pet toad Dogfinder. He's only interrupted by fiery yet harmless bursts from the roman candles.
"Fire so cool! Where do we find fire sticks, friends? Need our own fireworks, to help stop big spider! Poog shoot fire from palms, you shoot fire from STICKS!"
Reta hoots, hollers and cheers, throwing as many sticks as she can into the big burning blaze.
"Mmm, yummy! Thank you!" She takes the apple and bites into it.
"Ooh...smell great!"
Chuffy eagerly takes one of the fermented apples and pops it into his mouth, crunching and munching as droplets of juice and saliva fly in all directions.
"Taste great too! When foods got that bitey taste, that's when they REALLY good, that's how you know," he adds, even attempting to eat the apple core.
Ever in awe of anything that makes a fire or big boom or BOTH, Chuffy leans in and whispers to his friends, "Think Chief let us keep some if we do good job? Hope so! I wanna see if they can stabby while zipping around in the air!"
The apple treats are super awesomely good. They remind you of soft pickles sorta, but sweeter and way more potent! Please make a DC8 Fortitude save or be a bit too drunk for your own good (sickened for 24hrs). Feel free to decide now just what kind of drunk your character is...
Rempty coos as everyone joins in the fun, except for maybe Mogmurch. He ignores his infatuated for too long and she drops his apple into the dirt and stomps off angry. Probably not too angry as she keeps looking back to see if he notices.
Now that the party is in full swing, and goblins are teetering this way and that all around the camp, Slorb officially calls for the games to begin. "Time for first really, REALLY, fun game." He leads everyone down away from the bonfire (and that weird pair of goblins that won't stop making out in front of everyone).
A half-hazard fence circles in a muddy pit. Old rotted pallets are nailed between trees and posts, enclosing what can best be described as a rodeo ring? Slorb smiles and bows "Oh his Greatness Chiefness Bestest has a dare for you heroes!" As he says this you can hear the whining whelps carrying the Teeter Chair with the fat Chief perched on top, who's holding on for dear life as the whelps struggle to control their speed down the hill.
"Chief challenge heroes... if hero to dance with wild boar of death for very long time and live to claim it, get to breath DRAGON FIRE!" The crowd oooos and aaaaahhhs at the mention of both dragons and fire in the same sentence. To further sell the dare as totally worth permanent disfigurement and likely death, the Chief pulls out a small gourd, drinks the contents, then belches a gout of flame at not one, not two, but THREE of the whelps carrying around his chair. All three fall over in a flaming heap of overcooked goblin meat.
Everyone roars in laugher (that isn't a flaming heap of overcooked goblin meat).
"Who first, who first? No be skerd, heroes aren't supposed to be skerd... even of wild boars of death!" Slorb rings his small hands together, really enjoying the chance to look powerful in front of the crowd.
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Chuffy feels pretty good after his sweet apple snack and - after remembering some of his sluggishness the last time games were had - seems eager to go first for a change.
"Chuffy got even betterer at riding stuff since last mission; wild boar of death no problem," he boasts as he climbs up on the rickety fence. He watches, waits for just the right moment...and leaps onto the boar's back!
Well, sort of. He manages to stick the landing only to be promptly bucked off, though the goblin manages to make failure less failure-y by executing a graceful rolling landing.
"Hmph! Stupid boar! Chuffy want to try again!"
If he gets to try again, Chuffy attempts to do so, either before or after the rest of his friends get to have a try.
While Chuffy may not be as good at riding things as he thinks, at least he's able to tuck and roll with style!
"Stupid boar, didn't wanna ride anyway..." the goblin grumbles.
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That was a good apple.
In fact, why not try a second one? And a third? And... well, Reta lost count. Slorb has to pick her off her feet and turn her in the direction of the party.
Dragons... dragons... they're like big wolves with less fur. Or are they dogs who ally with longshanks? Reta not remember details but dragons breathe fire. Without getting burned. That's real good.
Reta stumbles towards the boar. "Me am BESTEST hero. Me dance with death is my middle... hic middle name!"
Reta can't even find a good foothold before the boar runs off.
She falls headfirst onto the dirt, bouncing a few inches off the ground before landing in a pool of mud. "No wait, danger is my middle name? BLERGH!" Reta spews apple juice on the ground.
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"Get away, APPLES ARE MINE ALL MINE!" Poog leaps up and dunks himself into the goodness, goblin paddling around. "So tasty and good..." He's there filling his face for what seems like hours, but finally he clambers out smelling like a fermented cabbage.
"There. Apple give Poog strength! Now he try to ride boar because riding just what Zarongel want him to do! WOOooooOOoo" The drunk goblin perhaps overconfidently leaps on the boar as if he had done it a million times before...
And at first, his stomach full of rotten brine helps him to handle the boar even better than he might have otherwise... but then the thing bucks wildly and sends Poog flying. Yeouch.
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Bowing to peer pressure and a passive-aggressive mate, Mogmurch picks up the overripe apple at his feet and plops it into his mouth.
"Hmm... Soft... Sweet... Like pickles, but more potent," Mogmurch muses, rolling the bits of chewed up apple around in his mouth, over his tongue, and back and forth between his cheeks. "Super awesome good!"
At Slorb's exhortation, Mogmurch enters the rodeo ring, ready to meet the Chief's challenge.
"I will dance with wild boar of death!"
When the boar bucks him off, Mogmurch bounces off a post and springs back onto the pig. "Giddyup, cowboy!"
The crowd hoots and hollers as the first hero steps up to the challenge. Chuffy climbs up over the fence and hops down onto not quite what he expected. Is that a boar? Looks more like a pink piggy.. kinda like that piggy from the big fancy wedding party!?! Before he knows it though he slides off the pig's back, keeping his feet under him but not the pig. The crowd laughs and giggles, a few apple cores are tossed into the ring.
"Chuffy not so gud boar rider huh?" Slorb waggles his finger when Chuffy tries to climb back on the pig "No no, you FAIL, no redos! Squealy Nord can't be tamed, he WILD WILD WILD!"
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Reta doesn't know when to say when. She eats as many apples as she can get her hands on, then pays the price. She flops down onto Squealy Nord then immediately slides off and eats dirt. One of her teeth gets chipped on a rock. She probably won't feel it for a bit though. Slorb feels bad for Reta and sends down the lone whelp to help drag her back out of the ring. "Ok... that one mebe eat less apples? No let her eat apples tomorrow!" He stops short of mentioning the secret mission again.
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Poog follows Reta's lead, plowing down the apples and not having the fortitude to back it up. Lucky for him though he has Zarongel on his side, keeping his butt firmly planted on the pig's back. Just when he thinks he's danced long enough though everything takes a bad turn and he pulls himself off the ground with a headache. "Oh, that one not bad boar rider. Not good... but not bad either!" Slorb waves ahead the final contestant: Mogmurch.
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Mogmurch's approach is met with some cheers, especially one goblin hiding amongst the crowd. Not sure if they are cheers or uncontrolled screeches. Squeally Nord recognizes his old friend instantly as he hops down on his back. It really seems like he's taking it easy a bit for the alchemist, but still, Mogmurch loses his grip and falls off, bounces up and scrambles back on and keeps riding. Slorb's jaw drops as he scratches his head, looking back and forth between the Chief and Mogmurch, not sure what to do.
"Ok next game, next game." He looks at the lone whelp and points it back to the teeter chair. It shakes its head and runs off into the woods scared of what might come for refusing its duty. The Chief points at a score of drunk goblins and they come over and help lug the chair back up the hill towards the bonfire.
On the edge of the firelight 4 ratty, gooey sacks lie in a heap. "Ok super overrated heroes.. this game called 'Eat Bag of Bull Slugs Real Quick'." He picks up a sack and tosses one to each hero. Inside are 5 black wriggling slugs the size of sausages. A collective groan echos across the field as the other goblins recognize the slugs. "Don't eat icky slug sack!" One goblin hollers. Another however counters "But I like slug sack! You wussy whelp!" The two goblins quickly start into a fist fight, ear biting, finger chewing rumble.
To further motivate the heroes to participate, Chief Gutwaddle draws out his own personal dogslicer and holds it up for all to see. Man doesn't that thing look MEAN! "Oooo Chief say the bestest winner get to use his most extra super special sword, the legendary GORGE OF GLUTTTOOOONNNNS!" The crowd hushes and Slorb continues "That sword has slain more horses than goblins in this whole village!"
"Meh...can't taste any differenter than Reta's toejam," Chuffy remarks as he peers into his sack of slugs. He reaches in and grabs one, lifting it up and taking a moment to admire it in all its icky, slimy, sluggy glory before popping it into his mouth and attempting to slurp it like a noodle.
*slurrr-hackcoughwheeze*
*mlemmlem-slurrr-hack*
"Okay...might be like Reta's toejam. Maybe worser, a little..."
Chuffy pulls out the second slug.
"Oooo, they go down better if you roll around in slobber a bit first!"
Time for the third slug.
"Heh...taste growing on me..."
Fourth slug!
"Yeah! Um...feeling weird though...maybe farty? Maybe enough poison-seasoning for now." With only one slug remaining, Chuffy decides to try and take a little more care with finishing it off than he had with all the others.
"HAH! Chuffy did it! Stupid slugs not stop Chuffy!"
______________
Chief Gutwaddle erupts in a thunderous sneeze, then blows his nose in both hands, just as Mogmurch bounces off the fencepost and back onto Squealy Nord. He's oblivious to the Big Bounce!
Mogmurch snatches the sack one-handed in mid-air. He rips it open and tips it back, letting the black, sausage-sized and wriggling bull slugs slither onto his dextrous, out-stretched green tongue.
"Yummy. Taste of rotten fish," he says, enjoying the tiny squeals when they burst between his chompers. "*BURP*"
Finished, he puffs out his cheeks and purses his rubbery lips. Turning his bobble-head toward Slorb, Mogmurch spits out the five slugs' mildly poisonous slime bladders.
With a huge grin, Mogmurch bows to his friends and to the crowd, wiping away a trail of drool with one hand and wiping it on his pants.
"Bestest friend Chuffy make slug eating look easy, but now Poog watch and Poog develop extra special strategy!" Poog taps Dogfinder, and the toad grabs a slug and dumps it into Poog's mouth. "Toad make Poog eat faster, and add tasty coating to slug too."
The slugs continue to be passed sack to toad to goblin, and within six attempts, Poog manages to eat them all. "Not as fast as Moggy. But at least Dogfinder good. Now me not have to kill him and share toad legs with Reta."
Reta gulps two of the slugs without trouble. But the next one proves troublesome. Kinda tastes like the apple... ugh!
Realizing she doesn't have more time, Reta decides to swallow the whole slug and not even bother with the slime bladder. Maybe the apples will counteract the poison.
Reta finally swallows the third and final slug. "Ugh... need to watch my diet. Feel bloated."
Chief Gutwad tosses down a gourd of fire breathing to Mogmurch, apparently he didn't notice his fall from the boar, or maybe he did and just figured the heroes could use all the help they could get for tomorrow's super secret mission.
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Chuffy shows off quickly, taking the early lead in slug chugging, after some early issues anyhow. Mogmurch waves off the proud Chuffy though and shows him how its really done, even presenting the Chief with 5 poison sacks for any weirdness he may have planned for later in the evening. Poog has more difficulty than he thought he would, the upset apple stomach dooming a few attempts. Reta wishes she just stayed in bed today.
Apparently Morgmurch has been really taking care of himself lately. Not only does he come away with the prize from dancing with pigs, but he also seems to have a stomach lined in lead, eating 5 slugs in only 30 seconds! "Woah, that gotta be new big bag of black slug eating record!" If only the goblins wrote anything down, they'd know for sure it was.
The Chief waves Mogmurch to climb up the Teeter chair and retrieve his prize. As he hands off the sword the Chief leans in and whispers "If you don't bring this back, no come back..." He gives him a shove off the top of the chair to help reinforce his point.
Just as Mogmurch gets his prize, so does Reta and Chuffy, both hurling up their slugs and feeling very, very ill.
"Ok, new game!" Slorb explains the next dare, while the other goblins smile mischievously... "So who in? Ready.. sets... goooooo!" Slorb starts counting on his fingers then sets the other goblins to their work!
"Reta... mouth tastes like apples and slug. But... me hide!"
But heroes don't hide. Reta's big head sticks out of a log in the marsh. But heroes use weapons, silly!
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"Hide or Get Clubbed?" Mogmurch squeals like his friend the pig. "That's the best game ever!"
Pulling the pins on his bracers, Mogmurch drops trou faster than a goblin on prom night. "Last one into the marsh is an elf!" he shouts, racing naked into the swamp, his dangling ding-aling dancing with each prancing stride.
Finding a murky pool in the mangroves of the bog, he floats just below the surface of the water, gripping the roots of the lily pads to hold himself still, the plants' broad leaves preserving his modest dignity from prying eyes.
*RIBBIT* croaks a frog atop a lily pad, its nap disturbed by the intrusion. It blinks, unimpressed, and falls back to sleep.
Dragonflies buzz about, skimming the surface of the stagnant water, flitting among the reeds and the cattails, chasing mosquitoes and providing some natural air cover to the stealthy little goblin.