Way of the Wicked - The fall of Andoran, Chapter II (Inactive)

Game Master increddibelly

Sindran ponders on the Eye of Hatred Morvius presented. "Interesting. I'm not certain I should have it since that leaves two Eyes on one person. Oret would be able to trigger an alert and respond faster. Scrying would take some time to do and we should be well-organized when I've located them. Perhaps putting it somewhere we can all see it? Hmm, perhaps you should keep it for now."

Already admired the flames! Nothing to worry about, but a library burning always has that certain enjoyable flavor and smell to it. Must be all those books.

"For example," Sindran says, "if the fire had spread through another room and Talon made no move to put it out. His sense of responsibility should make it so that his problems do not directly interfere with our progress. If it comes to a point that it does, I will interfere.

"In any case, this is something best done on one's own. I can only advise him and this would be most effective if he comes to me of his own volition. Anger would haze any help I can give otherwise. We have much to do but not so hectic that we have no time to ourselves. We'll be too busy in the future so I'm giving him the time and the space to do it himself now.

"And if I may be candid, Sir Zaan, I fear I'll be only re-enforcing Talon's struggle if I interfere now. My skills lie in breaking someone, then shaping them into what I want. Without going into too much detail, this is the nature of Talon's problem. It is also the same exact reason why I can help him if he comes to me.

"I hope this conversation has answered your question, Sir Zaan. Remember, if you have any concerns, my office is always open."

Also, I don't want to interfere with whatever character development Talon and the GM want to do on their own.

Before Morvius leaves, Sindran clears his throat.

"One last thing: Heitr will be abducting some peasants from Farholde so please stop using the goblins for your experiments. It is an annoyance to constantly recalculate their population and the patrols and guard when I can't be sure what happened to them. I may have to ask you to help, ah, replenish their population if this continues. More than one goblin concubine has expressed attraction to your infernally good looks. Simply forward a request to use one of our prisoners in your experiments and I'll have them delivered to your laboratory. If, for some reason, you specifically require a goblin, forward a similar request and I'll pick one out to use as an example. As always, an infernal day, Sir Zaan."

Infernal paperwork! Hellish bureaucracy! Beware! Any of you passing Sindran's office may, surprisingly, find Grumblejack helping with the paperwork. His main purpose is actually to dissuade any individuals who doesn't truly have anything important to discuss from annoying Sindran. Also, you'll find an unimaginative and literal-minded personality to be excellent at slogging through paperwork.

Speaking of the peasants, I'll leave it to the GM to roll how many we abducted...? Oh, and the natural 20 means I get a +1 to Ruthless! Huzzah.

Also, might I suggest we invest in some Flesh-to-Stone (and corresponding Stone-To-Flesh)? We can cast it on a devoted nun and if we capture Sir-Valin-Darian-I-Have-The-Blood-Of-The-Victor early, it would make storage easier and we don't have to worry about them escaping by themselves. And look, decorations! Even if they don't survive the restoration, we really only need their fresh bodies.

Oh no, I'm expecting somebody to show up. This is actually going to be more of a character/character development. Plus I hope you guys wouldn't let me burn down half the Horn lol.

Speaking of the peasants, I'll leave it to the GM to roll how many we abducted...?

the exact count is: enough. The important part is that it takes an action and that they might fail.

Perhaps Heitr should roll to kidnap new ones whenever you use a prisoner. I'm sure they'll manage to find more easy targets such as farmers, fishermen, whores or beggars.

Oh, and the natural 20 means I get a +1 to Ruthless! Huzzah.

Oh? Does it..? Would you be so kind to quote that rule to me?

His main purpose is actually to dissuade any individuals who doesn't truly have anything important to discuss from annoying Sindran.

that is beautiful. You're really getting the hang of this infernal thinking thing.

Oh no, I'm expecting somebody to show up.

*smug mode*

Morvius listens with interest as Sindran explains a little about the intricacies of manipulating people. He files this information away for future use. He's fairly sure that Sindran's wrong, however (while Morvius has terrible Cha, his Wisdom (insight) is quite good so I don't think this is out of character). "Thank you Master Eithe, for your insights into this. I do appreciate it. Unfortunately, I do rather doubt that Talon is likely to seek your advice in his current state. You shy away because your expertise is in breaking people? You say that almost as if it is something undesirable! It is clear that Talon in his current form cannot function; thus, he must be broken and re-moulded into something more suitable to serve the purposes of the Infernal Hierarchy."

"I am abrupt, I know. You have given your opinion and yet I persist. But I am not sanguine, Master Eithe. I am not at all sanguine that we have - even now - the luxury of time. If you would go and help him, I'm sure I could let you have this Ring of Mind Shielding without first offering it to the others."

Talon - I'm assuming it's not anyone specific you're waiting on...?

"An infernal day to you too, Master Eithe. I admire - if that's the word - your loyalty to the goblins. One can only hope that they will find it in their hearts to reciprocate." Morvius is not sanguine of this; Chaotics (especially demon-worshipping ones) do not - in his experience - vindicate trust. "One final point: I am not - alas - a 'Sir'; I was not the eldest. It is my great-nephew who holds that title - humans are so short-lived, don't you find?"

Morvius' siblings were all human and he has long since buried them. If you ask whether they were all dead at the time, he will look hurt.

Not anybody specifically, but I imagine Cala or Sindran would be better. I imagine Oret and Morvius wouldn't exactly be best at it.

Kind of interesting to think about it. Generally evil characters are good faces so they can manipulate others and hide their intentions, but we have three members who are nearly entirely socially inept.

we have three members who are nearly entirely socially inept.

I resemble that remark!

we have three members who are nearly entirely socially inept.

That's probably what drove you to turn to the dark side initially. Society spit you out, and now you're well on your way to make society eat your demands for breakfast. Fair enough, I say. Also, Wow, Another natural 20 on your timing, Morpheus.

At some time during week four, two messengers show up within hours of eachother. The first to arrive is a far too pretty girl to be out in such hostile environment on her own - but there's something disturbingly primordial about her eyes, that makes even the goblins shy away.

She delivers a folded note to the first relatively capable person she finds (in this case, one of Sindran's mooks) and promptly departs, without saying a word.

The second messenger is one of Cala's Crew; she personally...

we will move to week 5 soon. we're at around 16% of the ritual already - not too shabby. You have all learned and/or studied enough for us to proceed to level 8 soon, within a few weeks. Ohh I love Level 8 gameplay...Balancing on that sharp edge of being powerful enough to take on the world, while still puny so it is terribly eas to overstep your limits... *sigh*

Oret returns from his foray into the forest, successful in his reconnaissance. "The cave is, indeed, where the fey said it would be. It looks fairly defensible, but if we approach quickly and invisibly, we would be able to be on them before they know we're there. I did not approach it closely, so we don't know how deep the cave is...unless someone wants to ask our 'guest' for some sense of the layout?"

Survival: 1d20 + 4 ⇒ (9) + 4 = 13

Sindran says nothing as Morvius leaves, allowing him the last word with his blatant attempt of bribery.

After waiting a good minute, he takes out a rolled parchment from his pathfinder pouch, jotting a few notes before returning it.

He steeples his hands. They shake. Patience.

---

Survival: 1d20 - 1 ⇒ (3) - 1 = 2

"I'll ask," Sindran says. He calls for someone to fetch Alagnir. While they wait, he continues speaking. "We should leave some of us at the Horn to take care of the rituals."

Okay, bit of a catch-up post but here goes! Sorry for the prolonged absence, it's been a really brutal couple of weeks.

Entering the Sindran's Sanctum without a word, Caladwhen glides silently across the room and places a beautifully crafted set of robes on his table. Draped over her arm appears some kind of robe or cloak made from dark red and black velvet fabrics.

Running her hand along the luxurious fabrics, Caladwhen appears both critical and proud of her work at the same time. "I hope it is to your liking Sindran. I had Nariel import the highest quality materials for the robes, I can only hope she correctly guessed your size."

Looking around the room, Caladwhen observes the various correspondence littered about his desk. "Heitr has been busy I can see; good work with the Smithy by the way." Leaning against the table, Cala begins toying with a strand of her hair and reports "My people inform me that the 7th Knot has finally made themselves useful to us, and disposed of Brendam's Breakers, another group set on the Horn. All well and good, but I'm keeping an eye on those ones."

Turning her attention to Oret, Caladwhen nods as she changes the subject "Oh Oret, I'll see if I can't get you that belt before we deal with the Celestial. In the meantime, here is the amulet you requested." Handing over a small leather sack containing an amulet of silver, Caladwhen ads "Hopefully this will make the celestials... more accessible to your charm."

Pushing off from the desk, Caladwhen begins heading towards the exit. Before exiting, Cala stops and looks casually over her shoulder "I'm going to have a visit with Talon... Nariel tells me he has been himself and is proving more dangerous than usual." Raising an eyebrow, she ponders "Though I may eroded some of his trust by playing loosely with fire myself last week, I think I'm the best person to get through to him."

I think probably the best person to check in on Talon would be Caladwhen, so she'll head on over there next.

"Nariel tells me he has been himself and is proving more dangerous than usual."

I lol'd so hard.

Cala heads down to the library and this is what she finds. The room looks like it was recently organized, and several repaired pages of books are resting on the floor, but there is broken glass everywhere and a patches of fire around the room. Rygat lays on the floor as if dropped, and Talon is on the far wall, sitting with his knees drawn up and wings wrapped around him. He doesn't seem to be aware of the threat of the fire.

On leaving Sindran's office, Morvius' pretend expression of concern for Talon falls away as if it had never been. He intends to make his way back to the laboratory, but on the way encounters Oret returning from his reconnaissance mission. He accordingly accompanies the monk and listens to the briefing, making appropriate notes but not interrupting.

"We should leave some of us at the Horn to take care of the rituals."

Morvius rolls his yellow eyes in exaggerated fashion. "For someone who takes such interest in managing the paperwork, oh Adept of Administration, you seem to be overlooking the fact that the rituals are only needed at three points:dusk, midnight and dawn." Morvius does not even try to hide his sarcasm. "Surely such a Baron of Bureaucracy as yourself would immediately note that this leaves us all the hours of daylight in which to act. All the better, I say - night attacks by the forces of darkness are such a cliche, don't you think, oh Prince of Paperwork? I find there's nothing quite like perpetrating atrocities in the clear sunlight of a bright spring morning."

Dismissing the matter with a shake of his head, Morvius gives his attention over to lighting his pipe. He breathes in deeply and exhales a satisfied smoke ring, before bringing his attention back to the matter of the attack on the celestial.

Survival: 1d20 ⇒ 19 no natural 20? I'm almost disappointed...

"Oret - were there any sentries posted outside the cave? Might we use the waterfall (or other terrain) to our advantage?"

"I find there's nothing quite like perpetrating atrocities in the clear sunlight of a bright spring morning."

Come from the right direction and your opponents are blinded by the rising sun as well. Tactic old as time.

Sindran shows no sign of being affected by Morvius' taunts, but inwardly, he's seething. His voice is calm when he counters, "And what if we find ourselves unable to return in time? What if someone assaults the Horn while we are away? I prefer having at least one of us behind as a contingency."

Knowing Morvius' distaste for his minions, he continues, "Unless you trust those in our employ to serve sufficiently and to make decisions for us."

We haven't done the contract thing at this point, I'm assuming.

Morvius removes his pipe from between his teeth, cocks his head to one side and regards Sindran thoughtfully through narrowed eyes. "I'm at a loss to know what one of us alone could do against anything powerful enough to overcome Talon's Hell Maze, my traps, your goblins, Cala's undead, Hexor, Vexor and Ezra; other than die valiantly, that is. Not that I've anything against valiant death, you understand - it's just something I prefer to see in other people."

Remembering that Sindran is on his side, and that it's a bad idea to antagonise someone you may need to ask healing from later that same day, Morvius changes the subject. Pulling out the iron control plates, he brandishes them triumphantly. "Look what I found! I'm going to suggest to the Daemons that they suspend their chess game for a few hours while we're away and step up the patrolling. I'm thinking if they teleport between the entrances to the upper levels, my laboratory, the Sanctum and Sindran's study they should catch intruders before any damage is done. Also..."

Morvius takes this opportunity to hand out the ring of mind shielding (Sindran), the belt of strength (Oret), and the Eye of Hatred (Caladwhen). He gives the rod of elemental metamagic (acid) to Cala, asking her to pass it on to Talon: "and please remind him that using it on me is almost certainly a breach of contract..."

Falling silent (at last!), he waits to hear a strategy for storming the cave.

He gives the rod of elemental metamagic (acid) to Cala, asking her to pass it on to Talon.

When was this decision made? In combat a magus needs one hand on a weapon and the other hand open to cast spells, I don't have room for a metamagic rod.

In combat a magus needs one hand on a weapon and the other hand open to cast spells, I don't have room for a metamagic rod.

Oh, my mistake - I thought you had said something about wanting an alternative to shocking grasp and this seemed like the solution! My bad.

It's fine, I'm sure somebody could make use of it. Asmodeus forbid if we run into something with fire resistance one of our other casters will appreciate it.

Morvius does not even try to hide his sarcasm.[dice=Survival]d20 no natural 20? I'm almost disappointed...

"Oret - were there any sentries posted outside the cave? Might we use the waterfall (or other terrain) to our advantage?"

Yes, a couple of groups of those tree-hugging-ranger-types. They were doing an excellent job of swimming in the pool at the bottom of the watterfall, and/or casually laying back in the tall grass.

I thought you had said something about wanting an alternative to shocking grasp

In all honesty, me too. But now that Talon has refused it, Cala has it.

Int: 1d20 + 4 ⇒ (12) + 4 = 16

Sorry, if I had an extra hand I would take the metamagic rod. Maybe I could spend some time to research a spell that is exactly like shocking grasp but another element? Flaming grasp, freezing grasp, corrosive grasp, etc.

Maybe I could spend some time to research a spell that is exactly like shocking grasp but another element?

If you can tell me why they (the original D&D developers) picked 'shocking' grasp instead of any of the others, you can have the other elements. That means actual research, though...

I'm up to date, correct me if I'm wrong. So - we'll move on to week five.

In the newly restored recreation room slash bar, there's a small, slightly sardonic celebration of the 100th prayer to Vetra Kali. Since both you and your mooks enjoy having a space to wind down, most of those in the horn are happy to be present. Fortunately, the tight huddle of people doesn't get fireballed by any do-gooders. It's hard to tell wether the posted guards are capable or that the newly-controlled Hexoraticus and Vexorandian are growing accustomed to guarding the Horn instead of playing chess, but all in all, you're feeling good about the Horn - and rightly so. Things are pretty much under control.

Sure, it could always be better, but after only a few weeks, here is a well defended fortress: all known entrances are both trapped AND closed by stone shape. The mooks are happy: Work is relatively light, diverse, and hey, there's a bar. Morale is very good.

Library: 1d10 ⇒ 7

Hmm, not quite sure what to go with for that one.

Oret pulls Sindran aside, out of earshot of any minions. "Sindran, I've noticed that one of your goblins is acting strangely. I suspect that it is, in fact, some agent of that celestial, though I have no proof; neither do I know whether by disguise or charm."

He gives a brief description of the goblin, then continues, grim-faced. "I leave you to determine the next course of action, and suggest that you keep a closer eye on your charges, lest your pride destroy us from within." His expression and bluntness make it unquestionably plain that he feels this is Sindran's fault - and his problem.

"Acknowledged," Sindran says to Oret, knowing well enough to take the monk's words seriously.

It doesn't look to be the concubine with the limp and he isn't sure if it's one of the goblins Morvius has taken. In the privacy of his office, with the ever-attentive Grumblejack nearby, Sindran uses the eye to scry for the goblin Oret speaks of.

Observing said mook before I take any action. The best thing you can do to an enemy spy is to use them for your own gain.

Morvius watches the celebrations in satisfaction: he finally managed to perfect a wood-alcohol distillation that tastes good and doesn't poison (or blind) the drinker.*

However, the nagging feeling at the back of his mind won't go away. Much as he would like to applaud the disappearance of a goblin, it annoys him that he will have to train a replacement. Also, it's personal - if he isn't permitted to take out the goblins, no one is.

Putting his cocktail down, Morvius first instructs Hexoraticus and Vexorandian to make a search of the Horn for a goblin that is anywhere it shouldn't be (i.e. the upper levels and the sanctum); and to search the entire Horn for a goblin's body. If they find it, they are to let Morvius know immediately. He also checks that the doors out from the upper levels are still sealed and asks the guards whether any goblin has left through them.

He then finds Sindran - who is in conversation with Oret "I see you are busy, oh Satrap of Scrivening, so I shall keep this brief." Morvius outlines what has happened and the steps he has taken. Interpreting Sindran's look as suspicion, he hastens to add "I'm innocent, by the way - well, not guilty - well, not guilty in this instance, anyway..."

*Hey, it's harder than you might think...

Library: 1d10 ⇒ 7Hmm, not quite sure what to go with for that one.

Then I'll help :) pick one:

Ooh, let's go with finger of death.

week five

Sindran, please roll two perception checks for your spying session - DC27
Leaders, please post your minions' actions for week 5 and 6.

With some -totally justified- annoyance, Caladwhen suddenly notices that her afternoon tea has not been brought to her at the preferred time. It's been a couple of weeks; by now even those insufferable insubordinates should know the drill!

all around the horn, things start to go missing. First, it's just a few cups, the next day, all the forks from the canteen. The day after, it's Caladwhen's favorite hairbrush. Morvius' favorite beaker - gone. Oret's other loincloth. But, most importantly, the smith vigorously complains about losing his favorite fuller. How is he supposed to finish the Heart Cog for the masters' golem without proper tools?!

Perception: 1d20 + 6 ⇒ (8) + 6 = 14
Perception: 1d20 + 6 ⇒ (15) + 6 = 21

Sindran multitasks, sending off some instructions to his organization while he spies.

Heitr Week 5 action: Hunt
Hunt: 1d20 + 3 ⇒ (11) + 3 = 14

Heitr Week 6 action: Hunt
Hunt: 1d20 + 3 ⇒ (18) + 3 = 21

Are we allowed to do Aid Another for Sindran's roll?

Perception, Aid Another: 1d20 + 10 ⇒ (4) + 10 = 14 :(

Sindran:
The goblin Oret describes is nowhere to be seen. Even when you swallow your pride and ask Morvius' help, no goblin matches Oret's description.
Oret does not have humor in his dictionary, so I guess the fact you don't find the culprit will annoy you.

if you were to spend your personal actions for this week, I'll allow you to take 20...It seems you can only reach DC 27 with someone else's help.

That is correct. I don't mind spending my personal action. Additionally, when are we assaulting that lillend?

Did we find my missing goblin assistant, by the way? I sent Hex/Vex after it - do they have anything to report?

Sindran:
It takes you the better part of the week, but finally you notice a particularly disfunctional goblin : one of the concubines stands out, but only because she is unusually quiet and subtle. She always seems to be trailing behind the others, almost as if taking mental notes on the Bane-Wogs' actions. It's only when you find it luring one of the stronger goblin males deeper into the caves, that you're absolutely sure that she's up to something.
Tracking them, you see the pair of goblins are headed to a corner of the caves where blue fluorescencing crystals keep the goblins in a hypnotized trance, until the concubine urgers the male forward. The goblin, eager to please his date, takes two steps forward - but then the thin sheet of ice under his feet breaks, and he falls into a pit below.
There are six more dead goblins at the bottom of the pit...
including the concubine...

The concubine looks down into the pit. Then, out of the blue, it grows hazy, as the goblin grows in size and shape at the same time. You see an odd, far too long limb reach down into the pit, dragging out the goblin. In one smooth move, the monstrous dog-thing bites the goblin's head off and eat it.
The monster casually tosses the remains of the goblin back into the pit - where already, a thin sheet of the blue material is growing back from the edges.
The dog thing turns away, and then turns invisible.

Morvius, they have indeed.
who have their tablets, by the way?

At the end of the week, just after you complete a complicated experiment, a gentleman's 'arrhum' subtly draws your attention.
One of the great Daemons stands in the doorway of the lab. You have no idea how long it's been there, but it is very attentive of the monster to wait until you were done.

after clearing their throat, Hexor/Vexor excuses his rude interruption: "We'd like to thank you for this opportunity to increase our patrols. We found the exercise rather refreshing."
It produces a definitely-dead Goblin from under a wing. The top half of its head is removed, including -for reasons unclear- the brain, leaving the limp goblin with just the bottom half of its monstrous grin.
It manages a look of mock pity.
"Unfortunately, we found your subject in a rather poorly state. Oh, and there were more like this in the pit where we found this specimen"

Sindran:

The dog thing turns away, and then turns invisible.

Hmmm - doesn't Sindran's scrying crystal have True Seeing?

who have their tablets, by the way?

I have the control plates - I found them by the way (ok in the treasure room but who's counting) and no one else asked for them, so they're mine, mine, MINE!!!!!!!

FINALLY - do we think this brain-eater is the same thing that is taking all our stuff?

Hmmm - doesn't Sindran's scrying crystal have True Seeing?

That's only when all eyes are in the statue together. Since Sindran is casually juggling his eye around, that's not the case.

do we think this brain-eater is the same thing that is taking all our stuff?

That was an excellent opportunity for an INT roll :)

Late in week 5, the heitr hunting party comes back with a
1d10 ⇒ 8 => Giant Mantis
which of the rooms / caves will be its lair? or does anyone have a good recipe for mantis stew?

Morvius Zaan wrote:

Hmmm - doesn't Sindran's scrying crystal have True Seeing?

That's only when all eyes are in the statue together. Since Sindran is casually juggling his eye around, that's not the case.

SINDRAAAANNNNN!!!

That was an excellent opportunity for an INT roll :)

INT check: 1d20 + 5 ⇒ (20) + 5 = 25 Is it wrong that I'm actually starting to BELIEVE in the Dice Gods?

Morvius watches the shenanigans in the Eye with considerable interest - and suddenly starts swearing sulforously and at length.

"I gave great thought to keeping out invisibles - although the invasion of the Beaker Fairies would seem to suggest not quite enough - and I didn't even consider the thought of a polymorphed intruder."

After he has calmed down somewhat: "On the other hand I have to admit that I admire that de-braining technique, very efficient - did you see the economy of movement...?" On hastily catching Sindran's eye: "I mean of course, Bad Dog! No biscuit for you! No one kills that many goblins except me! Actually, what in the name of Asmodeus' Nine Infernal Hells is that thing? And how do we catch it and make it serve us?"

Knowledge (arcana) to identify: 1d20 + 13 ⇒ (13) + 13 = 26

Knowledge (nature) to identify: 1d20 + 10 ⇒ (12) + 10 = 22

by looking over Sindran's shoulder into the large emerald, you realize the monster-mongrel is not native to this plane. You've seen it has shape changing and invisibility abilities, much like Rakshasa and Oni and imps have; but you have no idea wether the creature you were looking at is good or evil.

It's probably quite rare and powerful - you know about these things, but you couldn't tell what it was.i.e. your roll was rather good - but not good enough, which indicates it has quite a few HD.

It's probably quite rare and powerful - you know about these things, but you couldn't tell what it was.i.e. your roll was rather good - but not good enough, which indicates it has quite a few HD.

So even a natural 20 isn't good enough?! Damn it must be powerful....

Put the Giant Mantis at C-5 as another defense for the secret door. Also, perhaps we can hold our weekly meeting at the Sanctum, put all the eyes in the statue while there and scry the entire tower with true seeing for extra security?

Knowledge (planes): 1d20 + 12 ⇒ (9) + 12 = 21

Suggest we trap it--perhaps at the pit it leads the dead bodies into. We could sacrifice a goblin to lure it, another one at this point seems inconsequential considering how many bloody goblins everyone is killing.

Put the Giant Mantis at C-5 as another defense for the secret door.

done.

put all the eyes in the statue while there and scry the entire tower with true seeing?

I'm going to take that suggestion and run with it, for the sake of moving forward again.

You discover the dog-creature hangs around the horn every other day. It spends that day observing your minions' actions and routines; in between it takes every opportunity to eliminate any defender of the Horn. As the day ends, it leaves the horn and heads dead straight in the direction of the Lillend's lair.

Furthermore, the wall paintings on the 2nd floor reveal images that vaguely resemble these canine invaders. You've looked at these scribblings before, but the aburdity of the images caused you to mistake these images for some odd ritual; now, it seems the images are a warning, and display a method of fighting these dogs.

This leads you to believe that you are dealing with Moon Dogs - these celestials have many abilities, but the fact they routinely create mesmerizing illusions that can hypnotize even the strongest mind is what makes them so succesful at their stealth missions.

Int: 1d20 + 4 ⇒ (19) + 4 = 23

This requires two of you making a succesful diplomacy DC20 check in the same round of combat.

Grumbling, Morvius hands over the control plates to Sindran and Cala: "I want them back, mind"

*mutter mutter mutter* stupid dump-stat people who take social skills over fighting *mutter mutter mutter* like to see either of them do two rounds with that celestial *mutter mutter mutter* barely a hit point between them *mutter mutter mutter*...