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A wide variety of shouted insults, oaths, and slurs echoed through the air like a litany of derisive rebukes. The clash of steel on steel was shockingly drowned out by the eerily echoing goblin cacophony. Somehow, the part of the battle that dominated the attention of those locked in brutal combat was not actually the fighting. Exceedingly capable warchanters were hard to come by, but this encampment had more than its fair share.
From within his cage with all his fellow goblin whelps, he stared out at the distant fighting through a small, barred window. While his brothers were busy staring at their elders clinging to longshank arms with their teeth or slashing out at horses with their hollow blades, he had eyes only for the warchanters. Their songs were the things of legend, their lyrics flawless, and their insults unparalleled. Those sick burns could - and sometimes quite literally did - scorch the opponents meant to hear them.
Poor, tiny Globlob was in love and he even found himself mumbling along with some of the better slurs slung to commit them to memory. All the better to use against his peers later on when they attempt to pick fights with one another. And while he may not have won many of the fights he found himself in back then, his dreams find him dining on seared goblin whelp regularly.
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"No Solie! You put that out right now! No not--- there..."
Solie cackled to herself as the trash bin went up in flames and a few bystanders scrambled to get water on the small blaze. Scorch marks followed Solie more accurately than her own footprints. It wasn't her fault! The flames danced just so beautifully she couldn't help herself.
"Solie, that is it. We can't just let this keep sliding. I expect you in my office tomorrow morning. Maybe a day in a cell will keep you from causing so much trouble!" The sheriff's tone was as serious and exhausted as a gnome could sound. Maybe he meant it this time. The grumbles and nods of the townsfolk who were nosing in on the scene seemed to suggest it was serious.
"No! You can't keep me in there! I'll run away!" Solie shouted back before fleeing back to her own home. She chucked a few of her favorite items into a rather shabby looking bag then snuck out the window. Of course, there was no need to sneak. No one was trying to make her stay. How offensive! She'd show them. She'd show them all some day!
Solie half woke up, mumbled a foul goblin slur about the sheriff, then fell back asleep.
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Somewhere deep in the jungles of the Mwangi Expanse
Blekk rubbed his eyes, annoyed. The sun had barely set over the crest of Mount Pointyrock in the distance, and already he was squinting at his notes. Cursing his lack of night vision, he rummaged around his backpack for a moment for his ioun torch. An explosion in his hut a few months ago had left him blinded for a few days, and even afterwards he couldn’t see well in the dark anymore. After playing with the small stone for a few moments, he let it float around his head and returned to his brew stand. He’d been working on this potion for nearly two hours, and all Blekk wanted to do was finish it and go to bed. He took another sip of the strange, black liquid the traveling salesman had called “coffee” and started pouring the potion into a spare glass phial. Inspecting it, he nodded happily-the potion was good. He drew a small picture on the phial of a goblin smiling, to show that if a wounded person drank it, it’d make him better.
As he was leaving the potion-makers’ hut to go home, a small goblin ran up to him. ”Blekk, Blekk! Chief want see you, say very important! Go now, yes?” This was the last thing Blekk wanted to do at this time of night, but when the chief said something, you did it. Usually. There was always one or two goblins in the tribe who disobeyed orders. Sometimes on purpose, sometimes because the Flying Circle People had come and taken them and turned their ears into other, smaller goblin heads. Blekk shook his head sadly, remembering his old friend Wort. Some goblins had all the luck.
Blekk made his way to the center of the village, where the chief’s house stood. Making his way into the hut, he sat in the single chair in the middle of the seemingly empty room. He didn’t have to wait long, as a patch of mold on the wall started moving, eventually forming into the shape of a goblin face. ”Hi, Daddy. What you want?” asked Blekk, trying to not sound as irritated as he really was.
His Ugliness Blurk, Chief of the Ogawdwaddahelizzat Tribe, spoke. ”Son...me not feeling so good. Think gonna die soon. You ready for that? You don’t look too nasty, what taking so long? Thought you say you gonna make yourself into monster. But still look like my son. Unless you saying that monster inside you all along?”
Blekk sighed. So it this conversation again, he thought. ”Daddy. Blekk been tellin’ you for ages now. This takes long time. Look! Me have tail now!” He waved his new tail in the air, hoping it’d be enough to sate his father for now. The two of them had run this tribe for nearly a decade now, after the Circle People had made Blurk into what he was now. Blekk was the idea man, while Blurk was the one who made it all happen. But now that Blurk was dying, Blekk had been trying to make himself into a worthy successor to his father, knowing that anyone else who took over (aka, the ugliest person in the tribe) was more than likely to utterly destroy the entire tribe, in typical goblin fashion.
Blurk’s face contorted in exasperation, most likely about to say something about how a simple tail wasn’t enough, how Plurb the toad farmer had six of them and blah blah blah, when a commotion from outside the hut interrupted them. The younger goblin who had fetched Blekk appeared at the door, looking both terrified and excited. ”CIRCLE PEOPLE! FLYING CIRCLE PEOPLE!” Blekk and Blurk shared a glance. ”Go, Blekk.” Nodding, Blekk jumped out of his chair and sprinted to the window. Climbing onto the windowsill, he looked back momentarily at his father on a whim. “Love you, daddy. Stay ok till Blekk gets back, kay?” With that, he scrambled madly up the side of the house, onto the roof.
He could see the flying circles up in the sky, flying low over the treetops. Blekk jumped up and down, trying desperately to attract the attention of one of them. ”HERE! HERE! TAKE BLEKK TAKE BLE-WHOAAAAAAA!” He slipped close to the edge. He screamed as he fell off the roof, hands and tail scrabbling wildly at thin air. The ground rushed at him in a blur, and then all he saw was a flash of light and then blackness.
Lost in dream, Solie and her companions sleep... a tapestry of stars is smeared across the heavens... sharp whites, twinkling blues and soft yellows, each star with its own story, with its own worlds, its own lives…
Meanwhile, a thousand miles plus to the south, another goblin brushes up with destiny before crashing down to earth... unconscious as the world changes around him, Blekk sleeps…
Imperceptibly and through powers that would seem almost god-like to the group, the stars in the sky...change... in the merest fraction of a second, Solie, Palomia, Ravboom, Biggun, Globlob… and Blekk… travel. Across the vastness of the galaxies, they are taken...
Somewhere... very far away...
Each of our ‘heroes’ awakens to the sensation of something damp and viscous covering their entire body... so deep is it, that their faces are covered too. The sharp pain of the two thin tubes inserted into their nostrils and some kind of a pipe down their throat provides a sudden jolt to their senses... A harsh light shrines through the transparent window that is merely inches from their faces... and now, feeling around, they realise they have been standing in some form of organic cylinder... no more than two feet in diameter, the sense of claustrophobia starts to become overwhelming...
...as their senses return, each of the occupants of the cylinders realises that the fluid is starting to drain...
Blekk awoke with a jolt. He'd knocked himself out multiple times in the past and was becoming a pro at coming to his senses quickly. This be new...is Blekk dead? Didn't think heaven would be so...wet. As his vision cleared, his eyes widened as he realized just where he was. This must be a Circle People circle! Blekk made it! With a grin forming around the tube shoved down his throat, he looked down at himself as best he could, trying to ascertain just what the Circle People had done to his body.
Okay, so legs not tentacles...arms not wings. Body seems...normal. Something on shoulder, that's new. Did...did they do nothing else to Blekk? Why not? Why they no make Blekk ugly? WHY THEY NO MAKE ME UGLY?!
Blekk thrashes around in anger, before realizing that the fluid is starting to drain from his tank. He stops moving, eyes narrowing. They think they can get away with not making Blekk ugly? Blekk gonna tear them apart. Once Blekk finds his claw-growing drink.
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Solie slowly woke up and tried to find a tissue. She apparently was having a bad booger day. Her fingers did not, of course, find tissue but rather something seeming to be closing her in. And she was wet. That didn't make sense either. Solie had stopped wetting the bed at least 5 years ago.
Solie started pounding her fists on the glass as the liquid drained away.
"MMRPH AUGH EEUMM OOUUU"
Globlob blinks himself to bleary wakefulness, yawning around the tube shoved down his throat. This is hardly the first time he has awoken after falling asleep in the middle of eating. One hand lifts to bat at the haunch of meat that dangles from his mouth as his eyes adjust to the... Tube? Those red eyes squint against the blinding light after a long night of darkness.
He gnaws at the tube shoved down his throat, frowning thoughtfully through the glop. If he can see much of anything past the light, he intends to. Especially when the glop gradually starts to drain and he finds himself able to start bashing his fists against the glass.
For the moment, how he got here is the last thing he is worried about. Better to fret over where here is and where his friends are.
As the viscous liquid drains from around their faces, each of the trapped occupants is able to see clearly that the window in front of them is hinged... it takes little effort, even though their muscles seem weak and uncertain to push the window - some four feet high within each cylinder - open - the remaining fluid crashes out of the container covering the floor beyond with a slick gunk.
Ten similar cylinders greet the eyes of those stumbling out of their inexplicable restng place, all arranged along the room's four, stone walls to form an irregular octagon. Each one appears to be constructed of a thick, durable, organic material except for the transparent doors which - apart from two - have swung open from the front. Fibrous roots snake down from the 15-foot ceiling overhead, attaching to the top of these cylinders, and a metal plate bolted above them illuminates the room... somewhere, a continuous high-pitched wailing sounds.
There is one door from the room, oddly bereft of hinges or handles, in the northern wall yet that is of little immediate concern... Stumbling from the cylinders on the eastern wall, four dog-like humanoids - shorter than a gnoll should normally be and with notably larger teeth - start aggressively barking at each other...
...and then each of our heroes realises... they are naked beyond the cotton-like strips that are draped across their waists and chests, they are connected to their containers through the pipes in their noses and mouths and... they are unarmed...
Blekk emerges from his cylinder, ripping the tube from his throat and gagging slightly as he does so. "RIGHT! Where the people in charge be? Blekk is OUTRAGED, you had one job and Blekk is not ugly! BLEKK WANT TO SEE YOUR MANAGER!"
His tirade is interrupted as he sees the others emerge as well. "Oh! Goblin! And others! Hi, goblin! Me Blekk, who you? Wait, hold that thought. What those dog things? Think they the ones who bring us here?"
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As dreams of food and drink filtered through Biggun's mind, as well as dreams of defeating the largest enemies he'd ever seen, strange feelings assaulted his senses. When he felt something get shoved up his nose, and it wasn't his finger, he started thrashing while waking up. The feeling of some liquid flowing around him was the final catalyst to bring him to full consciousness. His eyes springing open, he was surprised to find himself in a strange class cage. And there wasn't even any little goblins in there with him to eat!
Finally, the liquid was drained and the cage was opened. Flopping onto the floor, he was quick to yank the tubes out of his nose and looked around. Biggun was mildly happy to see that the rest of his group was in this strange place as well. Standing up, he finally realized his predicament. "WHERE BIGGUN CHAIN?!" he yelled to everyone and no-one.
Stumbling from his tube much as any of the others, Globlob immediately wrenches the tubes from his mouth and nose. He takes a brief moment to gag and heave up what little remains in his stomach to mingle with the tide of gunk. Clutching his stomach, he sneers and bares his teeth across at the odd gnolls. Bright, bloody red eyes stare out from beneath--
"WHO TAKE MY HAT!?" Globlob roars the moment he realizes that his head is bare as his tiny hands clench into white-knuckled fists on nothing but air. "YOU GIVE HAT BACK! You fuzz faces. They take your things, too. We go get them back, together! You EAT any we find!"
Hopefully, his suggestion or demand will be answered with agreement, because a fight does not favor he and his friends.
Ravboom is notable by his absence, the still-closed cylinder between Solie and Bigun remaining ominously silent...
...as Globlob's enraged voice causes the dog-like creatures to turn their attention to the strangers climbing from the cylinders. The largest of them, its fur slick with fluid, barks at Globlob, "Kofff, Roff, Roff, Ghoak, Khoff? Koff, Roff, Roff, Ghoak, Khoff? "
Blekk looks around the room, trying to find his gear-or at least his mutagen. Uhh...goblin? Don't think they be super nice."
Looking around, Blekk sees nothing that could be secreting his gear... no pots, no cupboards, no sacks, nothing... the only features in the room seem to be the cylinders - and the increasingly agitated gnoll-creatures...
The gnoll-like creature stands as tall as it is able… just under five feet all told… and slowly advances towards the shouting Biggun. It’s teeth are bared as it’s muzzle curls in a cruel snarl… and it repeats itself once more, ”Koff… Roff… Rof… Ghoak… Khofff!!!”. The other ‘gnolls’ fall in behind their apparent leader… snarling and growling as they become ever more agitated…
- the creatures, who were confused as they stepped from their cylinders, are getting increasingly angry... and the focus of that anger is shifting on to the 'heroes'... they appear to be accusing Biggun of having done something.
The tank door suddenly crashes out, landing on the floor with a ringing noise. "Damn stupid gear mechanism, who the hell put Ravboom in tank with broken gears? Rav going to rip someone a new one."
He steps out of the tank, looking around in extreme annoyance. He focuses on the gnolls for a second, then shakes his hand. "Dogs too stupid to make gear things. Must be Gnomes or Humes." He glares at Palo. "Where stupid cat? Call up. Need find who do this, rip their gonds off, feed them to them. Ewww, naked Hume and Gnome, disgusting." Rav begins looking at the tubes and trying to rip enough guts out of them to assemble some weapons.
Globlob cackles as everyone else starts to call Rav ugly, then settles for trying to calm the gnoll-looking creatures with interpretive dance. Or whatever the goblin equivalent of charades is. He does his best to pantomime that both groups were captured, trapped, and now freed. So they are in this together, whether they like it or not. Regardless of how they take it, the bard tries to interpose himself between Palomia and the gnolls while buying as much time as he can.
Blekk looks incredulously at the gnome. "Where you think we find leaves? This look like jungle to you? Blekk don't like this anymore than you do, let me tell you."
"No mind her, brain no work right." He taps the side of his head as he pulls greasy hands out of the tube he was yanking bits out of. "Thinks she's a gobby." He tells the weird looking new goblin. "Glad Rav got out of tube before it make Rav look like you. Ick."
Blekk shakes his head sadly. "Not the tube that make Blekk look like this, did it to myself. But thank you for nice words, means a lot."
"Brain no work right..." Rav sighs, although if he's talking about Sollie, or Blekk, or everyone else in the room in general is up for debate.
It is sadly somewhat inevitable that upon meeting a truly alien race for the first time, Biggun was going to threaten to hit it… and, as the situation deteriorates, the largest of the gnoll-like creatures finally looks like it will snap at the oversized goblin… just before Globlob, skipping and weaving with the strangest of stances, moves between the two of them – his interpretative dance somehow defusing the atmosphere for now. The gnoll-like creatures start coughing and barking with what, as Palomia listens for cues, must surely be some kind of laughter…
Standing erect once more – looming over Globlob, the largest of the creatures pats its chest and growls, ”Bah-Gra!!! Bah-Gra!!!”
"Ravboom!" Ravboom says, thumping his own chest in response. "Stupid Solie!" He points at Sollie. "Brain Dead Biggun!" He points at Biggun. "Poor Palo!" He points to Palo. "Gabby Globlob." He throws a loose gear in Glob's general direction. "Blechy Blekk." He motions toward Blekk with a shudder.
As Relas' form shimmers and solidifies into being, the eidolon blinks as he takes in the bizarre surroundings and happenings. "Ummm...Palo? Where are we today? And who are these guys?" he asks hesitantly, nodding at both the dog-creatures and the ugly new goblin.
"Relas, meet Ickyface the Drooler." He waves at Bekk. "Ickyface, meet Nervous Relas."
He then waves at the Gnolls. "Relas, this is Dogbreath and the Mange. Dogbreath and the Mange, this is Nervous Relas. Please keep all rocking chairs away from him."
"Wha...Ickyface the Drooler? We coming back to that one later. First though..." Blekk regards Relas curiously. "Are you...are you a bear? Blekk heard about them, but didn't realize they could just appear like that. Humie bring you here? Or you just stopping by randomly? This group getting interesting...bears and gnomes who think they're goblins...also, why Biggun no getting smaller? Been tryin to make myself big too, but can only make it last a few minutes before I shrink again."
"Biggun try to get in bed with swamp witch. Swamp witch curse him stay big like dumb longshank rest of life, never be able to find Gobby girl." Ravboom then gives a mighty jerk and pulls some tubes out of the container he was in, sending ooze spraying all over Relas. "Duck Furball!"
Relays regards the strange new goblin with interest. "Well, I'm Palo's companion. She can call on me and I do my best to keep her and her friends safe!" He gives the summoner the side-eye. "And I try to keep her on the right path! She's a good person, just needs a little push from time to time," he whispers.
"And Biggun is just...big. I think he's always like tha-eeeww!" he adds with a squeal as strange ooze splatters on him.
"Huh. When Blekk finds his stuff, might need to take samples. Would love to be big like that all the time. Or maybe just find swamp witch, try and get cursed by her too."
"yeah, sure that's it..." Rav mutters under his breath and rolls his eyes while digging deeper into the guts of the thing...
Perhaps slightly fortunately, the gnoll-like creatures barely register the presence of Relas as the eidolon phases into existence near Palomia… when Ravboom identifies each of the party, they nod in some form of affirmation and, in return, each one beats their chest and announces themselves as ”Bha-Gra!!!”
Slightly bemused at the antics of the group, the gnoll-like creatures simply watch as Ravboom pulls pipes and panels from his cylinder… and jump back as the gunk drains on to the floor. Eventually, it seems that they lose interest and move to a huddle near the cylinders that they clambered from…
A detailed exploration of the room fails to find any of the missing equipment… no Biggun chain, no BoomRav, no clothes… but it does, eventually focus on the strange glowing green disk in the wall next to the door in the northern wall of the chamber… the door itself appears to be devoid of handles or hinges.
"Ugh," Relas shivers as Solie splatters more ooze on his face, apparently testing to see if it's some sort of sauce. "Were all of you in those things with that goop?? No wonder Palo looked grumpier than usual when she called me this time."
Blekk tries to examine the disk too. "Yep, all of us in goop. Not together though, that would be weird. Stop distracting me please, bear. Looking at shiny green thing."
He then pokes the disc trepidly.
Rav shakes his head. "This stuff no look magic, no sparks when break, no tingle... Palo should look to check, but Ravboom no think magic, or mostly no magic. More like really really well made clockwork."
He moves over to the door, running his finger along the edges, and then closely examines the glowing green circle.
Ravboom waits for Blekk to tap it, then pushes in closer. "Maybe it turn..." He tentatively tries to turn the green circle by pressing on it with both palms and pushing with his palms, trying to rotate it clockwise or counterclockwise. "Maybe gear disk..."