Legendary Planet - Goblins in Spaaaace!!! (Inactive)

Game Master Zesdead

Biggun grinned and walked down the stairs. Looking over at Nessa Nessa, he said, "Crazy little goblin deader than dead, and drunk little goblin be awake. Now we go see other places, look for good things and other crazy goblins."

"Crazy human has a good idea. We go see about sheriff's office. Probably got things to go boom with. All goblin chiefs should have things to explode. Biggun you tattletale. I like it, very funny."

With that, Solie makes her way back down the stairs.

"You all coming, slowpokes? Or letting Solie have adventure all by herself? All glory for me!"

Psst: I'm already downstairs, that's where Nessa Nessa is.

"Of course it's a good idea," Relas rumbles, sounding pleased. "Palo is plenty smart!" He heads toward the door and the stairs beyond, giving Palomia an affectionate bump with his head as he does. "Come on, let's go! There's still a lot of village to clear!"

"Thanks Rela-oof!" Palo gasps as Relas bumps her on his way out the door, perhaps a little harder than he'd meant to. "And yeah, my line of thinking exactly!" she calls after Solie.

She turns back to Rav and Globlob. "Okay you two, let's go...oh wait, you're trying to hide from Nessa Nessa, right? Uh...maybe you can go out a window?"

Globlob lets out a yelp of surprise and breaks into a deep, dark scowl at Biggun's back. He reluctantly shuffles his feet toward the door as he shakes his head in response to Palomia's question. "It too late. Me not dat bouncy, unless longshanks got something dat make goblin fly." He does not seem particularly optimistic about the idea as he makes his way slowly down to the main floor and the waiting Nessa Nessa. So much for avoiding his tab.

"Come Biggun, we be big damn heroes. Nessa Nessa, is Sheriff's building empty? No crazies in there?"

Better to ask now and be safe than be sorry. She'd send Biggun in first to check anyways, but still.

"Flying? As funny as that would be, I'm afraid not. That sort of magic requires more power than I've got right now, but maybe someday..." She suddenly gets a horrified look on her face and begins to cough rather explosively.

Bluff (Untrained): 1d20 + 3 ⇒ (7) + 3 = 10

Better not let that Solie or Biggun hear me say that or they'll be trying to get me to fly them to the sun!

Nessa Nessa, when Biggun announces that Globlob is alive... and actually awake, perks up - and when he sheepishly comes downstairs to 'face the music', she is positively effervescent, "You be paying customer, Nessa Nessa not have paying customer before... Always Brokebags who just drinking and eating without ever giving shinies... Not good for bizniss... So Mister, you gotta pay".

The look of pain on the goblin's face as she then attempts mental arithmetic is a sight to see... "So... You owe five for food... An' you owe ten for room... An' you owe twelvety for the drinkings... So that makes you owing me... Um.... Um... Nine Shinies... You be paying now yes?"

While Globlob considers his next move, Nessa Nessa chats with Solie, "Big Sheriff's place? No crazies there... It be all locked up after Fatty Jerreth go searchin' for Chief Oddle - not seen her for a good couple days now... Prob'ly dead I would say"

Outside the sun is moving towards the horizon, there is probably no more than one hour of daylight left...

Globlob dutifully grumbles like someone who has been personally wronged by having to part with their hard earned shinies. Clearly, this is highway robbery. Just in an inn, at the moment. Or shop. Whatever this place is. The throbbing of his head is making it difficult to remember what the building looks like from the outside after a week of napping. He does still pull out his coin purse from within his coat and starts counting out shinies, though. Even if it is physically painful to get rid of them over something as trifling as food and booze and shelter.

"Dat one. And three. Eight. Forty seven. Eleventy siiiiix," he draws out the last word, pausing to peer down at the small stack of gold coins amassed in his palm uncertainly. Only then does he add a sixth with a proud proclamation of, "Nine! Dere. Take da shinies."

The tiny, green bard shoves the handful at Nessa Nessa as he peers back around the interior of the building. It has abruptly occurred to him just how loudly his stomach is grumbling just now. "...you got any more foods for da goblins dat save you from da black-eye-Vorthad? Maybe more free-er foods?"

Diplomacy: 1d20 + 6 ⇒ (9) + 6 = 15 Globlob is the most persuasive goblin around.

Solie frowns at the idea of a dead Chief. "Did the Fatty ever come back? Dangerous over there? Don't want to find trouble without me finding it first!"

Luckily for Palo, Solie was far too busy talking to the all important Nessa Nessa and not the crazy human.

Ravboom looks out the front door, see's the sun going down, and frowns. "If going to see to sheriff building, need do now. Sun down in hour, should be in buildings by night. Until know what go on." He grins at Solie. "After all, if sun gone away, be hard to pull down if find star anyway, be shame if find star and can't pull down sun because was hiding when you find star."

”No… Fatty Jerreth not come back from where she go – prob’ly got herself all burnt by star if she find it. Same as Chief Oddle… not be seeing him since he went off to bring prize back for Brokebags. Still dangerous in village ‘cos of crazy goblins and, even worse, from Zarongel crazies – but don’t think any hiding in Big Sherriff’s place”, Nessa Nessa is quite thoughtful as she talks with Solie.

Unquestioningly taking the money from Globlob, Nessa Nessa says, ”Any food you be wanting you can have… Can stay here an’ everything – is no more Brokebags staying so plenty room”.

Over to the Sherriff’s Office then?

"Ravboom's got the right idea; if we're going to go check out the Sheriff's place then we'd better do it before the sun sets. It didn't look like a big place though so it shouldn't take that long," Palo nods in agreement.

"By the way," she turns to Nessa Nessa, "can you tell us anything else about what's been happening here? We ran into a couple of goblins out near the edge of the village, but one fell out of one of the trees and died and the other said something about the 'star' falling near an old hu-Longshanks building before he took off on his dog."

I think so, yes!

"Human talk sane for once. And Ravboom, but we'll ignore that. To Sheriff's Office!" she exclaims, pointing at the door out as if trying to get someone else to open it for her.

Biggun walked towards the door and swung it open, grinning at the darkening sky. "Crazies be worried, Biggun come to hit them all!" Biggun said happily as he waited for the others to join him.

A single-story structure with a flat roof, the Big Sheriff's Office seemingly has all its windows boarded up, and the solid oak door bears a number of deep marks from the heavy blows of an axe. A small porch runs along the front of the building, its boards stained with dried blood.

...a quick shove of the front door by Biggun confirms that it is locked closed...

Was that in response to me opening the door in my post? Cause that was the door of the inn I opened. If not, that would be something I'd do when we got there. Just wondering.

Palo looks around nervously as it becomes apparent that the door is going to take some doing to get open, same for the windows. "Can we at least try to get the door open in a halfway quiet manner before one of you tries to bash it down? Otherwise it's going to make enough noise that you may as well slather us in spicy sauce and call us dinner," she whispers to the others. "If it's locked, maybe one of you can jimmy it open?"

Ravboom looks at the building. "Palo, you be tall. Lift Ravboom up on to the roof, maybe can climb down the chimney. Longshanks always build really big chimneys. Or maybe can chop hole in roof and see what inside..."

Rolling his beady red eyes, Globlob shoves Ravboom and Biggun out of the way as he steps up to the door. Or rather, tries to shove them out of the way. Both are likely a bit larger than he is, so he just tries to shoulder his way on through. Once there, he digs into a pocket and hauls out a bizarrely twisted shard of metal and what looks to be a bone toothpick. Both promptly go in the lock of the door and he sets to cranking them around with very little actual guile or precision. It really just looks like he is fiddling mindlessly at the lock, but it might work?

1d20 + 7 - 2 ⇒ (16) + 7 - 2 = 21

Solie stays firmly planted at Biggun's side, lest the insane goblins come charging at them from the shadows.

Perception: 1d20 + 2 ⇒ (10) + 2 = 12
Eyes, ears, and nose open for anything not quite right, moving, making noise, etc...

"Hey, new gobby... You ever know what you're doing with those?" she asks, peering over his shoulder.

"...Do you like Fire?"

Biggun - Post was just moving you along - I thought Biggun had actually attempted to open the Sheriff's Office but would have posted moreorless the same anyway.

Crunching and grinding the tumblers within the lock, it is unclear whether it is luck or judgement that opens the door… regardless, after a few moments of ignoring Ravboom’s suggestions and Solie’s eulogising about fire, Globlob has the door unlocked. In stark contrast to the scene outside, the interior of the office appears neat (by goblin standards), with all three holding cages clean-ish and empty. A locked cabinet takes up one entire wall of the ‘office’ and, in front of it, sits a large table.

Upon the table, lies an unfurled cloth map showing the village and the surrounding area - two rusty pins, marking a pair of locations along the lakeshore, have been placed in the map.

As the lock clicks and the door opens, Relas gives Globlob an impressed look. "Hey, good job! I'd like to learn how to do that, but the lack of opposable thumbs is a pretty big hurdle."

After looking around for a moment to make sure that nothing decides to charge from the shadows, he looks up at Biggun. "I guess you and me should go first." He carefully pads forward into the office, eyes open and alert for trouble or anything else that might be lurking.

Perception: 1d20 + 4 ⇒ (19) + 4 = 23

The building appears to be completely deserted... It hasn't been abandoned in a hurry though - by goblin standards, it is relatively tidy. At some point the roof appears to have leaked - two small puddles of rainwater have formed near the holding cages...

Unsurprisingly, the locked cabinet doesn't open nor does there appear to be a key hidden anywhere...

Biggun sauntered into the building, looking around the place as he moved towards the table. "Solie, Biggun think this show where star call. If to there maybe you find way to bring down Sun?"

"Of course Globlob like fire, who not like fire?" The bard retorts in Solie's direction without looking up from picking the lock. When it springs free, he promptly tucks his bizarre lockpicks back into his jacket and steps aside. No sense in being the one that gets squashed by the big thing inside, after all.

When there turns out to be nothing inside at all, he frowns deeply and scurries in after the larger bruisers. There is plenty to look over and forage around, especially that locked cupboard. He draws out his lockpicks again and sets to work, but he is not optimistic about this time.

1d20 + 7 - 2 ⇒ (1) + 7 - 2 = 6

"Who doin' what with da sun?"

"I'm bringing sun down. Have biggest of all fires, like how Biggun biggest of all goblins. Biggun, break open cabinet? See what's inside?"

As some of the others occupy themselves with the safe, Palomia moves over to take a look at the map on the table. "What I want to know is where she plans to put the thing once she has it," she smirks. "Huh...I'm sure one of these pins marks where the star fell, but I wonder what the other is for?"

Is the map fairly legible?

"Maybe they not sure which point more accurate," Solie says, peeking over Palo's shoulder at the map. "Or maybe there something else fun. Take map, check out points. Probably find star and other fun things."

Globlob’s interference with the lock of the heavy cabinet yields no results – it is clearly quite a robust lock and, thus far at least, way beyond Globlob’s abilities…

I have put the Regional Map in your Campaign Header.

Ravboom looks around the room for something heavy to snap the lock off with, like a crowbar, or Biggun's buck teeth...

With a grin and a laugh, Biggun walked over to the locked cabinet, drew back his fist, and punched the lock!

Strength Check: 1d20 + 3 ⇒ (1) + 3 = 4

And promptly fell back clutching his hand in agony.

Globlob frowns and grumbles in exasperation at his failed efforts to pick the lock, stepping back to let Biggun have a try. When he completely and utterly fails, he cannot help but burst into into raucous laughter, falling straight back onto his rear as he guffaws.

Ravboom shakes his head, and snatches the powder horn off Kaloora's belt. "Ravboom borrow, make more much better useful!" Approaching the cabinet, he pours two shots worth of powder into the lock, and then smears another shot's worth of powder down the side of the cabinet to the floor. He grabs a piece of paper that is blank from the tables, and tears it into long strips, and makes a trail to the cabinet where it's smeared.

"Fire in hole!" He cackles, pulling out a flint and steel and striking a spark to light the paper. He watches it burn toward the cabinet, then ducks behind a desk with his finger's in his ears.

"Yeah, makes sense...if we're here, we may as well check out everything we can..." Palo agrees absently. She carefully collects the map but not before marking the two locations that had been indicated with the pins, unconcerned with any of the shenanigans the others are getting up to until she hears Ravboom's cackle. Her head snaps up as she turns to see what's going on.

"Wait, what!?" Her eyes widen as she sees the small flame trail leading to the cabinet and she promptly dives under the table for safety.

"BOOM!" shrieks Solie, clapping wildly for the display.

Fizzling and crackling accompany the spark coursing across the floor towards the cabinet until, as the pretty light disappears into the padlock, everything goes quiet once more...

...and then, with a mighty explosion, fragments of padlock pepper themselves into the floor, into the ceiling and... with the sound akin to a melon bursting, into Kaloora's skull - so entranced was he, that he forgot to duck... he crumples to the floor - stone dead but with his maniacal grin still intact...

Feel free to loot his body for whatever he had that was fun for other characters...

Opening the door of the cabinet, It contains three suits of studded leather armor, six hand axes, three short spears, nine daggers, four light crossbows with five cases containing 20 crossbow bolts each, and a masterwork longsword. A small, wooden box at the foot of the cabinet also holds three potions (cure light wounds), a wand of some form and a purse holding 22 gp and 77 sp. Strangely, the weapons and armour are all sized for Longshanks...

Picking himself up off the floor where the explosion threw him, Biggun gave a maniacal grin and walked over to the weapon stash. He grabbed the longsword and gave it a few swings. "This sword be good weapon," he said as he grabbed it's sheath and strapped it to his belt. "And much too big for little goblins. It be good backup weapon for Biggun." Disdaining the little daggers and the other weapons, he grabbed a potion and placed it in his belt pouch. Looking over at Ravboom, he added, "And that good boom. Maybe you useful for bringing down Sun with Solie."

As the dust settles, Palo shakily gets to her feet and takes in the scene of carnage. "Oh my god...you killed him!" she gapes, staring at the very-much-dead Kaloora. "What the hell? You'd think he would've ducked, considering how much you lot like blowing things up," she continues with an incredulous shake of her head.

Making sure to carefully step over the bits of charred cabinet and goblin brain splattered on the floor, she makes her way over and gives the contents a once-over. "Not much here that I could make use of, except the armor. Strange that these guys would've kept all this stuff since it's too big for most of them to use, though..." she muses as she swaps out her regular suit of leather armor for one of the studded ones. "Hmm, and I'll take some of these bolts too, for good measure. A person can never have too much ammo."

She then turns her attention to the wand, carefully removing it from the box. "Hello hello, what have we here? This might make our jaunt over here worthwhile, depending on what it does." Murmuring a few words, she waves her hand over the wand.

Casting Detect Magic; she'll also give the other items in the cabinet a scan too once she's done with the wand. Adding one suit of studded leather armor and one case of 20 bolts to her inventory.

Spellcraft (Wand): 1d20 + 6 ⇒ (2) + 6 = 8

"Please don't do that again," Relas groaned from his position over by the door. "I don't think my heart could take it! We'll be lucky to save anyone at this rate," he sighs as he looks at the fallen Kaloora. "And so much for not making any noise..." he adds, turning his attention back to the open doorway.

Perception: 1d20 + 4 ⇒ (14) + 4 = 18

Ravboom frowns at the remains of Kaloora, and then digs through the carnage and gets his boom-stick and the remainder of his powder and shot. "Ravboom told everyone fire in hole. Ravboom gave plenty of warning. Ravboom not kill him, idiot who stare at explosion kill him. Was his boom-black that Ravboom use. Not Ravboom fault. This happen all time in gobbie villages. This be why Ravboom no live in gobbie village. Safer attack dwarf gold fortress than live in Gobbie town. Why you think Gobbie's born in litters like cats?"

I'm assuming nobody else can use the guns and powder.

Sure can't!

As soon as the tell-tale sound of a fuse being lit hits his oversized ears, Globlob is scrambling to his feet and off in search of cover. He luckily manages to dive behind an unattended chair before the lock explodes, showering shrapnel all over the room. When he pokes his head back out from beneath the chair a moment later, straightening his skull helm as he goes, he joins in the amused cackling.

"Hah! Dat good boom! What inna box?" With the danger now gone, he moves to scurry forward and take a peek in around Palo. "Awww... Dat all longshanks stuff." With an exasperated huff, he moves over toward Kaloora to pick through his things and see what might be of use.

Solie looks down with something akin to disgust and intrigue at the well splattered remains of Kaloora. She looks to be on the verge of touching some of the grey matter, but stops herself in favor of eyeing up the wand Palo has her hands on.

"What that one do?" she demands to know, making a grab for it while casting her own detect magic spell upon it.

Spellcraft: 1d20 + 5 ⇒ (10) + 5 = 15

Palomia / Solie – the wand clearly contains powerful magic… but what it is, escapes the summoner and the gnome for the time being.

It is a DC17 Spellcraft check to determine the purpose / use of this wand.

Whilst the sound of the explosion resonated around the central area of the village, the noise echoing around the buildings and the trees, it doesn’t seem to have provoked an immediate response from anyone… or anything that is nearby…

…although, the door to the Zarongel temple now seems to be slightly ajar – a flickering light coming from inside becoming increasingly obvious as dusk falls…

"Oooh, I'd bet an ear that flicker is a fire. Maybe those Zargongledongles or whatever aren't so bad. They just got to learn to set the bodies on fire. Solie can teach them that real good," she mutters as she peeks out into the growing darkness of outside.

"We get this place cleared out? We move on now to more places?"

"Not all fire makers be good goblins," Biggun said, peering out of the door. "If they be all black-eye crazy then they need be put down."

"Ugh, I need more quiet if I'm going to figure out what this thing does," Palo sighs as the nature of the wand eludes both her and her crazy companion. "Maybe I...er, we, can figure it out later."

She peers cautiously over Solie and Biggun's shoulders at the light coming from the Zarongel place and then shakes her head. "I know you lot can see in the dark but if you want to keep tromping around out there, I'm going to need some light to see by or for Relas to guide me if I'm going to be of any use."

Once again, the token human messing up the (mostly) perfect party of stea-er darkvision! Seriously though, Palo will go with the others if we want to keep looking around but she's going to need a light or Relas (who has darkvision) to guide her :)

"No, should wait for dawn." Ravboom says, pointing to the inn. "Nessa Nessa no go out by day or night, and mad gobbies be more dangerous in night than day. Also, been hiking and fighting all day, bad idea be tired and in dark fighting mad gobbies."

"Globlob feel great. We go fight other gobbies now? Or da rest of you gonna be quitter lazypants gobbies?" Their brand new bard asks helpfully with a broad grin.

Diplomacy: 1d20 + 6 ⇒ (9) + 6 = 15