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Wren cracks an eye open again.
"I'll need your magics, anything you got to allow me to levitate or fly. I took care of myself and this wasn't part of the plan when we started this," Wren says, already ticking off the 4 charges of invisibility mentally. "You should have had me scouting a quiet spot within the keep for the past week(?) we've been here, dwarf. I might have found a place to lay low."
Wren groans, hoping this is just a sub-plan rather than the actual plan.
"Are you sure you just don't want to leave the yaks here and sneak in on our own? Twould be much much easier."
Vanderhoff sighs, stares at Wren for a moment, then spits on the ground. Wiping the stray spittle away with his sleeve, he squints one eye at the elf. "Alright, fill us in on the details or your plan. Better to weigh the pros and cons of each."
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Wren looks at Vanderhoff.
"Tough to get the yaks in quietly and without being seen, let alone sneaking in and out. Let alone navigating the inside of a fortress," Wren grumbles. "But heck, I'm already surrounded by hairy things that don't bathe, what's a few more?"
"Are you sure you just don't want to leave the yaks here and sneak in on our own?" Wren repeats.
"Right now it sounds like your plan is:
1. Dwarves risk lives to infiltrate Fort
2. ???
3. We lose."
Kraygan scowls and thumps his armored knee. "If ye haven't noticed, we ain't sneaky."
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"If ye haven't noticed, we ain't sneaky."
"But you think, you and 4 yaks can be quiet for an unknown amount of time while sitting inside a wooden yak? You can barely go 15 minutes without a drink, let alone having to piss downstream," Wren notes.
"How about leavin' the yaks here, takin' your armor off (carrying it with you), I turn you invisible and we creep our way to the backside and over the wall?"
Wren points to the obvious.
"You can put your armor back on once we get inside."
Wren grunts.
"Or a full frontal assault on your yaks. At least that stands a better chance. And it'd be more fun."
Vanderhoff tries not to smirk as he glances back and forth between his cousin and the elf. Turning to Wren, he gives a look as if to say, well?.
"The yaks are gonna be hitched to the Yak." Kraygan points from the herd to the wood-shaped wagon.
"They are trained to fight, and will be needed. I can be quiet... if I don't gotta move. And if I gotta go, I got a spare keg!"
"I don't reason any way we can get close to the wall without being seen. And I don't like the prospect of being fired at from a wall when we can't reach the orc's dirty necks. If we can get inside the fort using the Yak, at least we can reach 'em with our axes, even if we are surrounded. Better than being shot down from afar."
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"I'll need your magics, anything you got to allow me to levitate or fly. I took care of myself and this wasn't part of the plan when we started this," Wren says, already ticking off the 4 charges of invisibility mentally.
Wren rolls back over, wondering how long it will take the dwarves to plan things real good. Then he rolls back over to face the dwarves again, an idea coming to his mind.
"Maybe we can put the kegs inside the yak instead. Rig it to close when a bunch of orcs get inside. Then BAM! We explode a goblin fire brain on it...cook us a bunch of orcs," Wren has the idea that he immediately regrets saying aloud.
He rolls back over.
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Vanderhoff frowns, pondering the dilemma at hand, then begins pacing back and forth, stroking his beard. "Perhaps the elf has a point. Is there a way to rig a goblin brain to a keg, so that it'll explode when the keg is moved? What if the wooden yak is used as a diversion, while we sneak in to the back? Surely it'll keep the attention of some of the orcs."
Scowling, he kicks a rock as he paces. "How many orcs were there? More than thirty, plus some giants? I don't like those odds, especially surrounded. And that's not includin' anything the elf might not have seen."
Pacing towards Wren, he says. "How much magic is left in that disappearing wand? I'd still like to have a look at that dam."
Torgan silently listens to the back and forth between Kraygan and Wren. After a while, he looks at the giant wooden yak on wheels and thinks of what to do. "At this point, why don't we just use th' Trojan Yak t' breach th' gates..." he wonders aloud.
"We can put Malt, Hops, Hoof an' Haggis on the front. Strap 'em in. Build a wooden shield around th' front to protect them from arrows an' th' like." he explains as he illustrates each point with his finger.
"We build an opening in th' mouth o' th' Trojan Yak. Once th' yaks get th' yak t' th' wall, then we can use a rope ladder t' drop inside an' start cleaving heads."
Jorgan likes his brother's idea for the heroics of it but has to agree that Van's plan is more sound. "Ay, if we can get in and slit the throats a few at a time, it might be safer than rushing in or risking being burned alive in tha' thing. I still think we rig it with bombs though. If we can take out a few in the process it'll make our job easier. I can warp the wooden palisade to open a back door for us so no tunneling or climbing needed."
Vanderhoff sighs and nods, then turns his back to Wren and looks at Torgan, Jorgan, and Kraygan in turn. Pausing at Kraygan, he says quietly. "Look, I thought twas a fine plan, glorious even. Not without risk, but what is?" Looking up, his eyes take on a fervent shine. "It'd be glorious alright, but....." He continues, looking back down to his cousins, "...if things went bad and somehow we survived, well...." He nods his head backward toward Wren, "....the elf would ne'er let us live it down....." After a short pause he adds, "...and if none of us survived,......that cranky som'b#%*! would probably haunt us for all eternity....."
Kraygan sees the tide turning against his cunning Death Yak. He thinks about the two grenades in his pack, but dismisses the new idea. "We jus' spent three days buildin the thing and now ye want to blow it up? Balls I say! Balls!!"
Rising to his feet he begins pacing. "Wren's plan might get us in, but it don't include the yaks. At some point the jig'll be up, and we'll be fightin for our lives. I wanna be mobile and armed to the horns when that happens."
Kraygan stops and stares for a moment at the Trunau Yak. "Since Wren ain't up to drive the thing, I'll do it. Roll right up to gates and tell the orcs it's a gift... Freedom Town had some mercenaries in the Battle of Trunau, right? I'll say I'm from there, sent with tribute to Chief Grendelshek. That way I can protect the yaks and mayhaps get the orcs to take it up t' the fort. Could go armed and armored, but would hide most o' my good weapons inside with the rest o' ye. It's risky, I'm knowin that, but since this plan was mine I'll take the bear's share o' the risk."
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They wanted me to drive yaks to the front gate? *THAT* was the plan!?
Wren wonders who is keeping watch, and decides to close his eyes even harder as if that might block out the planning of the dwarves.
Wren winces as he listens to Kraygan's latest plan, and waits for the others to say how silly it was.
Why won't they understand that this is either an infiltration, i.e. no yaks, or an assault, i.e. 'go team yak'. Just tell me which one you want.
Wren groans.
Van ambles over to Wren. "Elf, I want to inspect that dam before make any final decisions. Can you use that disappearin' wand on me after nightfall?"
At hearing about the dam, Torgan has an idea. "How 'bout this..." the dwarf starts. "We take th' YAK upriver an' set it afloat so it will run into th' dam. Th' guards will rush t' see it an' Jorgan can open a hole in th' palisade near th' sewer. We'd need a way t' also cover our approach in case one guard sticks around."
Torgan smiles as the main contention is getting the yaks inside as well. "Plus, Jorgan can open it large enough fer Haggis an' Hops t' join. Hoof an' Malt too."
"It will take a few days t' drag th' YAK upriver. Can ye sneak in an' kill some sleeping giants while we do this, elf?" Torgan asks of Wren.
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"Elf, I want to inspect that dam before make any final decisions. Can you use that disappearin' wand on me after nightfall?"
Wren turns over to regard the dwarf.
"Yeah, I suppose, but it has few charges left. And they don't last long. And, unless you can fly, you can't get to the dam, can you?" Wren asks. "If we're attacking today, then I can't help you. But if we're putting off the assault for a day or two so we can plan more, I can get you flying and invisible tomorrow. Today, I planned to attack."
~~~
"We'd need a way t' also cover our approach in case one guard sticks around."
"It will take a few days t' drag th' YAK upriver. Can ye sneak in an' kill some sleeping giants while we do this, elf?" Torgan asks of Wren.
Wren's eyes boggle at the new energy coming from Torgan.
"You want to what? Float the yak? Get closer? What?!" Wren asks, sitting up and rubbing his elven eyes with his fine elven fingers. He ponders to think.
He snorts. "Sure..." Wren says, thinking as he goes.
"I could, over a series of days, put up random clouds of fog around the fort. At first, we can watch how they react and because they are nothing but bunches of random fog, they might ignore. It will take a few a days to get them lax enough to begin to accept things. However, they might not worry about the fog cloud I use to block their vision when we actually approach the walls." Wren shrugs, thinking it might work.
"They might try searching the forest for me after a few days, but they'll never catch me. Nor even see me. Since the fog only lasts a few minutes, they may tolerate them because nothing happens when they appear."
Wren huffs.
"I'm sure I could happily drop a goblin fire bomb into the mouth of a sleeping giant. It might ruin the fog cloud approach though as they will know that they have enemies nearby. I'm willing to do it if it helps."
"I leave it in yer capable hands t' decide if ye want t' murder some giants o' mess with their minds." Torgan says with a shrug.
Vanderhoff quietly listens as Torgan offers an alternate plan, then listens as Wren responds, marveling to himself that this was the most words he had heard the elf utter at once, probably beating two to one, everything else he had said in the past days.
Leaping at the chance for some kind of consensus, Van begins nodding and pacing vigorously. "Aye..aye...that'll do. That would work just fine. Kraygan, Jorgan, what do think? We can make this work, right?"
Jorgan nods. "We can make it work. Me and Hops are ready to go."
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Wren hides within 130' of the fort or so. He casts fog cloud 10' above the fetishy-hut's yellow circle. While hidden, he watches the response from the fort, ready to fly/flee as necessary.
Later that afternoon, he'll do the same to a different section of the fort.
If Wren doesn't need to expend his fly & invisibility to escape any patrols because of the fog, the will invite Vanderhoff to dis-armor and go fly invisibly to check out the damn dam.
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"So we're goin to abandon the solid dwarven YAK in favor of elven fart clouds!? Bah!" Kraygan throws up his hands in frustration. "Fine! But dont ye come cryin to Kraygan when this plan goes all mushroom-shaped!"
Too mad to sleep, Kraygan fills a mug from the YAK and storms off to take the first watch.
A few seconds later...
"Balls! I poured from the wrong keg again!!"
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After much debate Wren decides to go out for some additional scouting. Once he is close to Redlake Fort Wren strategically begins to create small pockets of fog all around the fort.
Watching for a few moments Wren sees a couple of orcs and giants alike peek their heads up towards the fog. The orcs begin to laugh at a few of the giants as they attempt to swat at one of them with their large arms. After a few moments the giants and orcs alike begin to pay little attention as the small pockets of fog boil forth and slowly begin to disappear.
Removing his armor Vanderhoff is invited on one of Wren's small expeditions as he wants to investigate the dam. Under the guise of Wren's spells Vanderhoff is able to get close enough to realize that there is a rickety dam turns away the rushing river water from the dried-up moat. Although the dam appears to have been hastily constructed from makeshift materials, it has weathered the years remarkably well.
As Vanderhoff gets a quick look he sees that there are two large hatches. One on either side of the dam that control the flow of the water. From what Vanderhoff can tell it looks as if they can be opened.
As vanderhoff knows the Invisibility will not last long at all and he quickly turns and flies away. As he does the dwarf hears a loud roar coming from the barbicane near the entrance.
Flying as fast as he can, Van lands next to the party and begins donning his armor. "Did you hear that? The cry? Sounded like the roar of an animal, then a battle cry....in dwarven." He says the last words with emphasis. "Torag's beard! What's going on?"
Kraygan quickly counts his cousins. Twice. "Well it ain't one of us! Gorum's bloody boots, we can't let one o' ours suffer in there!"
"I'm guessing we need to change plans again. Did ye see anythin about the dam that might help? Can it be blown up or somthin?"
Twas a couple a hatches that looked like they could be opened to flood the moat." Van responds to Kraygan.
Torgan has an idea, of which this is the very first time he thought of it, I promise. "What if we set th' YAK into th' river an' blow th' dam? Load th' YAK with explosives an' it'll crash into th' castle an' blow it up."
"Or, we can ride it in like valiant yak-riders. Wren always says he wishes he had a yak in 'is sleep." Torgan jests.
"No, but seriously, we keep th' YAK floatin' t' th' dam as a distraction fer Jorgan t' get us in near th' sewer with th' yaks." Torgan says.
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Wren reports on what he's learned with the fog clouding, confident now that he might be able to obscure lines of sight from the fort to the party to allow them access without being seen.
Wren continues to focus on the back door plan, letting the dwarves figure out how to utilize the yak.
* * *
"Did you hear that? The cry? Sounded like the roar of an animal, then a battle cry....in dwarven."
Wren sits up, then lays back down.
"That isn't good news, mayhaps I can take a look tomorrow at it," Wren suggests. "Are we any closer at figuring out how to use that Yak?"
Van's eyes widen and he stares at Wren in disbelief. "What if tomorrow is too late? What if, whoever it was, is already dead. We can't just sit on our hands!"
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Wren listens to the suggestions of what to do with the Y.O.U.S, but offers no comment upon it.
"We just can't sit on our hands."
Wren agrees.
"I agree, Vand," Wren says, standing and stretching. "I've spent much of my tricks today. Tomorrow, I'll likely be able to get you guys to the wall. And mostly unseen too. They don't seem to care too much about the random fogs."
Wren looks at the dwarves and the LodestoneYak (wherever it is).
"I don't know we'll have a chance to use that Yak. But we can get in there first thing tomorrow."
"I agree, Vand," Wren says, standing and stretching. "I've spent much of my tricks today. Tomorrow...."
Van begins sputtering incoherently when Wren utters the word "tomorrow". Shaking his head, he plants his feet in a wide stance, usually indicative of his stubborn dwarven streak about to come out, (that, or his hemmroids are flaring up).
Why...why...whoever tis likely be dead on the morrrow! We can't let that happen!" Puffing out a loud sigh that sounds like a boiling tea kettle, he continues. "Tis probably that forsaken she-dwarf, got herself turned around again. And I'd just as likely let her pay fer her mistake, but...but we can't just let 'em to the mercy of the orcs and giants!"
"Fastest ride to the barbican is in the YAK." Kraygan says with a gleam of hope.
Jorgan shrugs. "I 'spose you've got a point. We better get moving. I'm ready to go at a moment's notice." Jorgan pats Hops' head as the yak lows quietly in agreement.
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"No. No. NO!" Wren fumes, then tries to calm himself. "We've been watching this fort like Jorgan moons over his yak. There haven't been any dwarven prisoners brought in...which means that whomever was speakin' that, *if* that did happen, had been here for a while." Wren's voice raises, but then emphasizes the conclusion. "That means that whomever said that is probably still alive. And will be tomorrow."
Wren calms himself again.
"I thought the full frontal assault was a mediocre idea at first when we were fully ready for it. But to do it when we're not ready is an exercise in foolishness."
"We ain't going to do anyone good if we just die because we're impatient and silly. I think we can creep in in the morning, at full strength, you hardheaded yaktenders!"
Wren grumps, but thinks he's made sense.
Torgan idly sketches into his book as the group devolves into fighting over the timeline of the attack. His charcoal pencil begins to write in dwarven as the stout man looks to his brother and asks him a question in their mother tongue for all to hear.
Aloud, so Wren can understand, Torgan continues. "We crafted a plan t' ensure our safety an' th' safety o' our yaks. Forgoin' that fer a blind rush is a fool's errand."
Torgan stands up and stows his book. "Tonight, under th' cover o' darkness. We push th' YAK into th' opening south o' th' fort. Tomorrow, when they go investigate th' giant YAK, we use th' fog t' sneak in th' nor'west."
"This is th' plan, otherwise ye do it without me." Torgan states firmly before moving to hitch Malt to the YAK. "Now get yer yaks on th' YAK 'fore th' sun sets."
Van opens his mouth to say something to Torgan, then snaps it shut, opting to just glare at his cousin. Mother's side of the family was always weak blooded....
Sighing, his shoulders slumping in defeat, Van throws his hammer to the ground. Side wit the elf, then!"
He then stalks off, not looking back.
Kraygan's head bobs as Torgan gives his speech. "I agree cousin, but we gotta consider that voice and the opportunity the dam offers too. Let's place the YAK and get to the tunnel under the cover of Wren's clouds. Then, maybe, Wren and Jorgan can use tha' wand to go invis'ble, magic a door in the pal'sade to free the captive, blow the dam, then get them back to the tunnel in the chaos?"
Kraygan slaps his thighs as if settling the matter. "First though, let's see if elf farts can get us it to tha' tunnel."
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"First though, let's see if elf farts can get us it to tha' tunnel."
Wren opens his mouth to object. He opens his mouth to complain. But he can't. And no words come out. He can't argue...his magic is nothing more than farts, than passing gas of true magic. No, Wren's magics are not the pure shizzle, but the fizzle, just odorous wafts of what could be if he was something more.
Wren keeps quiet and prepares for the morrow.
* * *
In the morning, Wren prepares. Then, when the Y.O.U.S. is ready, he casts his fog cloud to block off line of sight from any who might be on the battlements.
He escorts the dwarves to the walls near the sewers.
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Throughout the night, without the aid of Vanderhoff, Torgan drags the YAK into place. Visible from the palisade in daylight, but nearly impossible to spot against the trees in the dark from the fortress or, at least, so Torgan thinks.
After he is satisfied, he will head back to camp with whomever chose to aid him and set up watches so everyone can rest before the impeding siege.
"I'll take first watch." he says dourly by the fire, unhappy as to Van's response and likely overthinking it.
---
In the morning, Torgan quickly passes out dried sausage and smoked cheeses to the dwarves and brews a quick batch of dwarven coffee on the remains of their smoldering fire.
Once everyone is situated, Torgan stands up and begins to head towards their desired exit from the surrounding woods to see if the orcs have noticed the YAK.
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After some time and daylight has disappeared, Van returns to camp without a word. Kicking open his bedroll, he sits down, pulls his knees up to his chest, and stares off into the distance. Anyone on watch eventually sees Van's head loll to the side, then fall forward, resting on his knees, as the dwarf begins to snore softly.
In the morning (or when he is awakened for his watch), Van's head jerks up and he looks around blearily before silently standing up and retrieving his hammer.
In the morning Van works quickly and quietly to put the camp in order, then move into position, ready to assault the fort.
Kraygan hitches Haggis pull the YAK for Torgan on his nighttime mission. As they make the journey he finds he has to restrain himself from whistling. Maybe it's the excitement of sending the wooden effigy on its mission. Maybe it's the anticipation of facing giants again in battle.
Or maybe it's the half-keg of snakebite.
Once the YAK is in position, Kraygan scatters about some extra gear from his saddlebags - a pot, a knife, a day of rations. He then gathers up wood for a fire, concealed behind the YAK, and lights it. "Let's make sure they find it. Should leave some smoke in the morning." He grins at his cousin before mounting up Haggis and riding to the river. "Help me cover our tracks."
***
The next morning Kraygan is up early, eating a double-order of rations, and, knowing his reserves are limited again, just a small sip of snakebite.
That night before sleeping Jorgan uses his hide campsite spell again to protect the party from unwanted invaders. "We'll be safe until morning at least. Let's rest up, tomorrow will be a mighty big day. Let's hope the plan works out like we think it will. These things tend not to."