DM PatheticWretch presents Emerald Spire (Level 3: Splinterden) (Inactive)

Game Master PatheticWretch

Osiris nods over the potions.

"These will be useful."

I guess we go down the narrow corridor that Stonetree and Osiris are currently either side of...?

Stonetree makes for the far door to the south east and throws it open.

"Yo momma's so ugly, she made an onion cry." /minor 3rd chord/ "Yo momma so ugly she threw a boomerang and it refused to come back." /dissonant 7th/ "Yo Mama's cooking is so bad, the homeless give it back. /major 5th diminished/

Chortles has a hard time keeping up with the party amid his gasping fits of laughter.

Chortles' laughter echoes down the hallway while Stonetree throws open the door.

This chamber is a small barracks with a pair of double bunks and a small privy in the north wall. The eastern portion of the room is partitioned into a pair of cells with doors made from iron bars. Inside each is a shoddy bunk and a rusty bucket.

"Forward March!"

"Forward."

"Keep up Chortles! We need to clear this level and find me a decent kitchen, would not cook down here if you promise to shut up for the day!" booms Stonetree

Sorry...I'm not sure what anyone's wanting to do. Can you give me some more specific details about what you're doing?

Go down the corridor that Stonetree is leading us down?

Well, you're at the end of it. There is a passage to the west, a door to the east to the room you opened but didn't explore, and a couple doors you passed on the way here. When everyone says 'forward,' are you just wanting to keep going to the west?

west

Stonetree sees a pair of bandits in the room ahead. They seem to have been waiting for you. "Surrender your weapons!" one calls out.

I need a Fort save DC 18) from everyone for the next 4 rounds.

ROUND 1 (BOLD MAY ACT!)

CHORTLES
DRAGOS
OSIRIS
BAD GUYS
STONETREE

Fort: 1d20 + 2 ⇒ (7) + 2 = 9.

Osiris, off in a dream-world, completely ignores them.

Chortles grimaces at the thought of Stone Tree's cooking, "Last time you cooked, I couldn't see straight for a week."

fort save: 1d20 + 2 ⇒ (20) + 2 = 22

He shouts down the hall, "The only weapons we carry are song and companionship. Surely you do not wish to disarm us of such amiable possessions!"

delay until after stone tree to make sure he takes a beating

"Not sure how many times we got to go thru this, but you all best be running." booms Stonetree

To emphasize his point Stonetree moves forward and takes a swing at the closest bandit.

unarmed strike: 1d20 + 9 ⇒ (7) + 9 = 16
damage: 1d8 + 5 ⇒ (1) + 5 = 6

edit: Save
fort: 1d20 + 6 ⇒ (17) + 6 = 23

edit 2: not even my turn.....Stonetree just spouts how his inane threat but does not attempt to emphasize it.

edit 3: It was Chortles fault

Sometimes I suspect Stonetree is making random rolls to avoid a bad save...perhaps that is just knowing the player in RL. It absolutely seems like something he would do. :)

Osiris suddenly freezes in his tracks. What stopped him is unclear, though everyone in the group suddenly feels they are fighting off something sinister.

Chortles and Stonetree manage to avoid the effect. Stonetree only through divine intervention.

ROUND 1 (BOLD MAY ACT!)

CHORTLES
DRAGOS
OSIRIS
BAD GUYS
STONETREE

Dragos is up!

That obvious? Disappointed in myself, next time I will try harder to hide my disgraceful ways....but seriously feel free to use the first roll, its about time he got beat on a little or a lot.

"Dragos! Lets go my friend!" bellows Stonetree

;P

bot Dragos?

Dragos also succumbs to whatever is harming the rest of the group.

The two bandits each loose a crossbow bolt at Stonetree, but both of them miss given the big man's cover.

fort save dragos: 1d20 ⇒ 12

crossbow (cover): 1d20 + 3 - 4 ⇒ (6) + 3 - 4 = 51d8 ⇒ 4
crossbow (cover): 1d20 + 3 - 4 ⇒ (4) + 3 - 4 = 31d8 ⇒ 5

ROUND 2 (BOLD MAY ACT!)

CHORTLES
DRAGOS (sickened, fascinated)
OSIRIS (sickened, fascinated)
BAD GUYS
STONETREE

EVERYONE IS UP!

Osiris and Dragos each make another DC 18 Fort save. I forgot you also each took 1 point of wisdom dmg last round.

1d4 ⇒ 2

Fort: 1d20 + 2 - 2 ⇒ (4) + 2 - 2 = 4.

Osiris continues to sway.

Stonetree patiently waits for the thugs crossbow bolts to bounce uselessly off the hallway wall before turning the corner and rushing the first bandit.

unarmed strike: 1d20 + 9 ⇒ (16) + 9 = 25
damage: 1d8 + 5 ⇒ (8) + 5 = 13

Chortles sighs, "Always involved in freeing your sorry carcass from the snares of villainy and the clutches of death himself."
He trudges to the corner, untangling his bow on the way and checking how loose the string had gotten. He finds an arrow that appears to be missing only one fletching, and fires it at the back of the charging Tree.

bow attack @ further bandit: 1d20 + 7 ⇒ (17) + 7 = 24 for damage: 1d6 + 1 ⇒ (3) + 1 = 4

bot, bot, bot, bot, bot....

Stonetree clocks the nearest bandit, dealing a serious blow to the face. Chortles focuses his fire on the other bandit, who receives an arrow to the abdomen.

Osiris and Dragos both deal with the strange sickness that has overcome both.

Both of the bandits attack stonetree with hastily-drawn short swords. Both connect with the big man's armor, but neither penetrates.

ROUND 3 (BOLD MAY ACT!)

CHORTLES
DRAGOS (sickened, fascinated,-2 Wis)
OSIRIS (sickened, fascinated, -2 Wis)
BAD GUYS
STONETREE

EVERYONE IS UP!

short sword: 1d20 + 4 ⇒ (13) + 4 = 171d6 + 2 ⇒ (6) + 2 = 8
short sword: 1d20 + 4 ⇒ (16) + 4 = 201d6 + 2 ⇒ (3) + 2 = 5

Osiris and Dragos each make another DC 18 Fort save.

Chortles fumbles his bow in shock, "Well I'll be! This thing actual does work!" He loosens the string a little more to make sure it's ready and grabs the next arrow from his sheaf, ignoring how much of a bow the arrow has in it. "You'd better duck, Mr Sapling!"

bow attack @ previous target: 1d20 + 7 ⇒ (15) + 7 = 22 for damage: 1d6 + 1 ⇒ (1) + 1 = 2

"Time to run, hate to put you down for good. You all bloody fight the same way, damn near predict what you are going to do next." booms the brawler before throwing another punch

Martial Flexibility (move action, 5/day) (Ex) As a Move action, gain a combat feat for 1 min. More gained for greater actions.
Dedicated Adversary: You gain the ranger’s favored enemy class ability against this particular type of creature with a bonus of +2

unarmed strike: 1d20 + 9 + 2 ⇒ (7) + 9 + 2 = 18
damage: 1d8 + 5 + 2 ⇒ (5) + 5 + 2 = 12

Fort: 1d20 + 2 ⇒ (8) + 2 = 10.

Osiris continues to remain in his own little world...

Stonetree decks the first bandit he had hit while Chortles sends another arrow toward the second, which wings him.

The wounded bandit's short sword clatters to the ground as he raises his hands in surrender.

Osiris, one last fort save. You're down 3 Wis.

Fort: 1d20 + 2 ⇒ (19) + 2 = 21.

Osiris finally snaps out of it.

Seeing the carnage around him, he nods.

"Ah, right. Time to move on...?"

Chortles leans on his bow, ignoring the cracking of the ancient wood, and addresses the bandit, "Your wiser friends all scurried upstairs. You should probably join them."

"Stoner, they touch you? Shall we continue on?"

"Welcome back, Osiris! Missed you on that one," Chortles winks and swaps his bow for an axe.

"Have I told you guys the story of the mushroom queen and her entourage of dwarf mannequins?"

Let's try the door in the south west corner pointing east.

Stonetree moves to the south west and throws the door wide.

Weapon racks and wooden wardrobes line the walls of this room. The dummies in the center of the room wear suits of armor. Masks hang on the wall near the door; each consists of a brass nosepiece with cheek guards, from which a veil of red silk hangs.

A secret door in the western wall leads to the west. The door is clearly visible from this side.

With a shrug, Osiris puts on a set of robes, and one of the masks, before moving on to the next area.

A temporary disguise is never a bad thing...

Chortles exams the dripping nose piece to discover what the fluid is.

knowledge (?): 1d20 + 8 ⇒ (16) + 8 = 24

"You sure you want this dripping on you Osiris? It may be Stonelings nasal discharge."

He then heads to the West door to let Stone Tree blunder through it.

Chortles is fairly confident that the mask filters out impurities in the air...perhaps poison? Most of the bandits have been wearing the masks. Perhaps this would help with whatever ailed Osiris and Dragos.

The secret door on the west side of the room leads to a set of stairs leading deeper into the dungeon.

map updated

Well, I had already moved my mini to where I wanted to explore next ;-)

Right. So, we now know where the way to the next level is, at least...

Chortles follows Osiris, singing a ditty about the pros and cons of being a mummy.

Stonetree back tracks up the hall until he comes to the first door on his left and throws it open.

This chamber is someone’s personal quarters. A comfortable bed stands in the southwest corner. Several small keepsakes, including a couple of small leather journals, clutter the wall shelves.

A quick search of the otherwise empty room reveals 25 gp, an ivory comb worth, and a statuette of a woman with a lyre.

Osiris nods in satisfaction at the haul, pondering over the statuette for a moment, before moving on.

Once again, position updated on the map.

He then waits patiently for Stone tree to find a new and interesting way to get into trouble open the door.

Stonetree realizing he has been compromising the delicate art of door opening strolls up ot the next door with his shoulders back and chin high. He Grabs the handle, throws the door wide,

"Chortles Pesky Pest Removal at your service! We guarantee a pest free dungeon in two weeks or less! If we fail than you get one free stoning of CHORTLES HIMSELF!"

"Certified in Tree and Stone removing personally!" Chortles chimes in with a strum of his axe as he waits to see what prize is lurking behind the next door.

The double bunks and footlockers in the alcoves of this large room suggest it serves as a barracks. The walls are decorated with simple paintings and murals, which include sketches of building, temple, and ruin layouts with notations suggesting how to get past obstacles and traps. Two small privy chambers stand against the southern wall, and doors exit to the southeast and the northwest.

Three of the Splinter bandits look at you hesitantly. One of them drops a shortsword.

"We don't want any trouble."

I'm going to say that small groups of these guys are no challenge and have heard enough combat/seen the carnage in your wake to avoid hostilities. They surrender. Really only one room left to the northwest.

Osiris nods solemnly.

"A wise decision."

He then follows Stonetree to the final room.

"As much as I don't want to hurt those poor blokes, I am missing the chance of facing a good opponent, maybe they have more of those metal snake things?" Stonetree booms as they make their way to the final room.

"Congratulations on being the first smart people we've met! Not only do you get to keep your lives, but you also get to spread the word that you are alive!" Chortles pats one of them heartily on the back. "Just stay away from any soup that large womanish thing over there tries to serve you," he points at the woman-hulk bashing in doors as he follows to the last room.

An ancient stone door opens into a dusty old crypt. Five stone sepulchers sit in the chamber’s northern and center portions. Each is carved with an effigy of a masked man or woman. To the south, one large sepulcher lies, its lid secured with iron bands.

Osiris chuckles.

"I take it, Stonetree, that you want to see what is in the sarcophagus that has been chained shut...?"

Chortles chuckles with Osiris and casts detect magic on the room.