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Sakitu scoots away from Selena and closer to the wall. The last person she wants to talk to is Selena. There is no way that she could possibly understand and besides, she's always so condescending and imperious acting. The last thing Sakitu wants is someone pointing out how inferior she is. "I'm fine. I'm okay okay, okay?" Sakitu didn't bother buffering her words and let her raw emotion seep out. "I don't need any of your help."
Selena frowns a bit, realizing there is definitely an issues but it's way above her head.
Since Quasit is unhelpful right now, Selena goes to find Fin, Winter's nose tracking him down in no time. "Uh, Fin. I think Saki needs some comforting. I think I interrupted something between her snd Quasit and they both decided go hide under their blankets. Quasit seemed angry. I'm not sure about Saki, but I think maybe she was hurt or something. Not physically, I took care of that, but... I don't know. Just something's not right and I'm not the one to fix it and Quasit doesn't seem amenable right now."
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Hearing someone enter the hot baths, Fin opens an eye to see…his eyebrow arches as he’s very surprised to see Selena and Winter standing before him. Something must be vewwy, vewwy wrong…
"Uh, Fin. I think Saki needs some comforting..."
Both eyes open widely as Selena tells him what happened. Fin shakes his head after she finishes. ”That makes no sense…Sakitu and Q are thick as thieves, always have been. Are you sure Q wasn’t upset with you? No offense, Selena, but you and her are like oil and water…”
Fin rises out of the steamy water and walks over to where his clothes are laid out. ”Thanks for letting me know, Selena, I’ll hurry over there and see what’s wrong,” he says as he puts on his underpants and heads to the girls room. ”Stay, Izzy, I’ll be back…”
He hurries back till he gets to their room. Very quietly, Fin opens the door and sneaks over to Sakitu’s bed…
He gently sits on her bed, whispering, ”Hlao-roo…Selena told me you’re upset…you wanna tell me about it?”
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Sakitu jumps when she hears Fin's voice. She flips away from the wall to face him with a startled look. "What? What are you doing here."
Then his question registers and she scowls. "Selena told you? She said I was upset. Of course I'm upset but no. I don't want to talk about it." She looks past Fin's shoulder to see if Quasit is out from under her covers but then she reaches and grabs Fin. She squeezes him hard.
"I don't know what my problem is. It's like I'm all messed up inside. I mean my feelings and everything. You know? But it's not about you. I mean, it is about you but not in a bad way. You know? It's just like I wanted someone to talk to about it. And I thought she was my friend but then she just yelled at me like I am the biggest mistake it the world. It's like she can't stand to look at me. Am I really that ugly?" Sakitu sniffles and squeezes harder on Fin. Somehow the talking seems to be releasing the pent up emotions. "But I know she is my friend. Maybe I offended her but I don't know how. Do you think she still likes me?" At that last question Sakitu turns her tearful eyes to Fin's.
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Across the dark room, Quasit lies motionless facing the wall, her eyes wide open and staring at nothing. She’s aware that someone else is in the room now talking to Sakitu, but what they’re saying isn’t really registering, even if she could actually hear the words. Her stomach roils and twists and life just feels awful. And she’s mad. At pretty much everything. Her mind races, leaping from one red hot ugly thought to the next. Her lips press tightly together and no sound escapes them, and her eyes are dry and dead as fallen leaves.
Maka walking in to some drama.
The door to the girls room swung open wide as Maka strode in. "Everyone enjoy their day off?" The fire monk said cheerfully as she moved toward her bed.
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Fin just listens earnestly as Sakitu talks, holding her while she squeezes him and bares her emotions…
"But I know she is my friend. Maybe I offended her but I don't know how. Do you think she still likes me?" At that last question Sakitu turns her tearful eyes to Fin's.
Fin smiles fondly, gently bringing his hand up to her face to wipe the tears away. ”Hlao-roo…of course she still likes you…and of course she’s still your friend. You and Q have always had a close bond, even from the very beginning. Perhaps she’s got some stuff going on; last night she basically told me to stick a lampshade up my…well, you know…but she’s still my friend…
“From what I heard, Q didn’t leave you till after Selena intervened; she was most likely upset with her, you know they’ve never gotten along. Q came to you when you cut your finger; she wouldn’t have done that if she didn’t care for you…”
Fin pauses to look over at Quasit’s bunk. ”You know what I think? You and Q used to bunk together all the time, talking and giggling and comforting each other…maybe you should go over to her bunk and hash things out, just like old times…”
As the door opens and Maka walks in, ”That’s my cue, I better be going; I left Izzy in the hot baths and he may be well done by now,” he says as tilts his head to kiss her. ”You have such a pure heart, Hlao-roo…and I don’t tell you this enough, but you are beautiful. G’night, I will see you in the morning,” he says with a twinkle in his eye and a wink.
The door to the girls room swung open wide as Maka strode in. "Everyone enjoy their day off?" The fire monk said cheerfully as she moved toward her bed.
Fin smiles at Maka as he rises from Sakitu’s bunk. ”Aye, g’night Mistress of Fire…sleep well, back to the grindstone, tomorrow…”
He quietly closes the door and heads back to the baths. Knowing how clumsy he can be with words, Fin sighs deeply, hoping he said all the right things…
Fin smiles at Maka as he rises from Sakitu’s bunk. ”Aye, g’night Mistress of Fire…sleep well, back to the grindstone, tomorrow…”
He quietly closes the door and heads back to the baths. Knowing how clumsy he can be with words, Fin sighs deeply, hoping he said all the right things…
"Good night, sweet dreams! I invited Cessaar to our morning session. You've got to at least spar with her before we leave! It'll be good training." Maka gave a thumbs up to Fin with a toothy grin on her face. "Oh and Bull has a box with your adamatine arrows. We couldn't grind in a super good edge but they still chipped away at stone like nothing so should be good."
After making sure that Fin had left, Maka sat down on Saki's bed, a wolfish grin on Maka's face. "So...how was it? Oh! And I have something for you." Pulling a small package from her scarf pocket, Maka handed it to Saki. Inside were several vials of tonic. "Okay so I was able to find the equivalent of Calistra's kindness here. Make sure you take a sip every day. Sorry, sorry, I'm interrupting. How was it!?"
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"Good night, sweet dreams! I invited Cessaar to our morning session. You've got to at least spar with her before we leave! It'll be good training."
Fin nods to Maka as he walks to the door. ”Awesome…and thanks for the arrows. You might have to come fetch me when it’s time to spar though, I’ll likely be in the baths; gonna milk all the time I can there…did you tell Cesseer we spar naked?” he quips, trying to lighten the mood. Quickly turning back to Sakitu, he winks. ”Just kidding, Hlao-roo, we don’t spar naked. See you in the morning, darling, love you,” he says, before swiftly departing…
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It’s not till he re-submerges into the steamy waters back at the hot baths before a couple of things metaphorically smack him upside the head…
…the thumbs up and toothy grin that Maka gave him back in the girls room. She knows about Saki and I…but how? And who else knows?
…and then his last words as he left the room come to mind. ’Love you’…it just came out so naturally, stealth-like even…it wasn’t something he’d planned beforehand. Cat’s outta the bag now…no puttin’ it back in…though I won’t bring it up if she doesn’t…
Fin closes his eyes and soaks, pondering quietly about this turn of events…wondering how Sakitu is taking it…or if she even noticed…
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When Fin rises from the bed Sakitu does feel a little better. The idea of joining Quasit seems like a good idea but Maka's arrival derails that thought. Sakitu pulls her blanket up to her neck and leans back against the wall. Maka sits on the bed.
"So...how was it? Oh! And I have something for you."
Sakitu is stunned. How did Maka know? She looks at Selena who is watching them both and suddenly it's clear the Selena knows too. Oh! This is awful. Just reacting, she reaches for whatever it is that Maka is giving her.
"Okay so I was able to find the equivalent of Calistra's kindness here. Make sure you take a sip every day. Sorry, sorry, I'm interrupting. How was it!?"
Sakitu stares, dumbfounded at the vials. Her eyes are wide as she looks back up to Maka's face. She leans forward and whispers. "Uh. How did you know? I mean, does everyone know do you think?" Before Maka can respond she looks at the vials again and pales even further. She covers them up with the cloth and tucks them under the blankets.
Still whispering, she continues. "I can't talk about this now. Maybe never. It's all too embarrassing." A sudden thought shocks her. "Wait, if everyone knows. Maybe that's why Quasit was mad at me."
She flops back against the wall and pulls the covers up over her head entirely. "I think it's time for bed," she says with a muffled voice.
When the party is at last ready to depart, they again are leant the services of several dragonkin to fly them to the Dancing Hut. Efrixes and Bescaylie lead the way, since the others don't know where it is.
After flying for a time you arrive, finding the Hut just as you'd left it. The dragonkin land and let you dismount, discussing the odd structure as they do so.
Bescaylie salutes you from Efrixes's back. "Good fortune to you wherever you go! I know it was good fortune for us you showed up."
Sakitu stares, dumbfounded at the vials. Her eyes are wide as she looks back up to Maka's face. She leans forward and whispers. "Uh. How did you know? I mean, does everyone know do you think?"
"Well you two weren't exactly..."
Before Maka can respond she looks at the vials again and pales even further. She covers them up with the cloth and tucks them under the blankets.
Still whispering, she continues. "I can't talk about this now. Maybe never. It's all too embarrassing." A sudden thought shocks her. "Wait, if everyone knows. Maybe that's why Quasit was mad at me."
"That's okay, you don't have to wait why is Quasit mad at you?" Maka whispered back.
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Bescaylie salutes you from Efrixes's back. "Good fortune to you wherever you go! I know it was good fortune for us you showed up."
"Bye Bescaylie! Bye Efrixes! I'll miss you, be safe, hopefully we'll visit again before too long!" Maka waved and shouted her goodbye.
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In the morning, Quasit laboriously escapes her blankets and sits primly at the edge of her bed with her head in her hands. She looks like she hasn't slept a wink. She doesn't bother brushing her hair or her teeth, but merely pulls on her boots and outer clothes and then just sits, waiting for the others to be ready as well. When spoken to, she answers in civilly in a smattering of words, but her tone is hollow and drab, most likely the aftereffects of her insomnia.
When the group moves to the courtyard to meet their escort, Quasit meanders along in her own little world until Chest Thumper comes into view. She goes up to the frost ape and strokes his broad hairy back and leans into his warm flank, resting her cheek against him.
When the group is deposited at the Hut, she dismounts agilely, gives the Triaxians a perfunctory wave and trudges up the steps and inside, then droops into a corner to await her doom.
Quasit is just in time. She reaches up to pet Chest Thumper and cuddle with him right as Kalchine is about to turn him into a little statue.
The Triaxian watches in troubled confusion, his ears flicking rapidly.
He approaches Selena and speaks to her quietly. "What's wrong with Quasit? Do people from Golarion have hangovers on the second day?"
He lets Quasit give and get affection from Chest Thumper (who gruffly, but gently pats her on the back) for as long as possible, only transforming the frost ape right before climbing into the saddle.
He pauses outside the hut, kneeling down to grip some of the snow in his bare hand and letting it melt slowly. Then, he pushes his hand all the way down through the snow to touch the frozen earth beneath and rests it there for a time, feeling the life and energy of his homeworld.
When he stands, he looks around at the group, his ears high with curiosity. "My mentor told me about chickens, but I never imagined they were so big. You must be able to feed a whole village when you slaughter one."
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Well before dawn, Fin meets with Maka and Cesseer for a spar à trois; after a long session, between the two of them, they manage to leave him thoroughly bruised and thoroughly drenched with sweat...not to mention what little ego he has left trampled into the dust…
After they finish up, he bows to them and, with a sheepish grin, says, "Thank you for the 'lesson', ladies...you are both as formidable as you are beautiful. I'm off to soak my...'lessons'...in the hot baths one last time before we leave; hopefully, that'll knock out the soreness for the ride to the hut. Cesseer, t'was an honor to meet you; I wish you well."
He goes back yet again to the baths, disrobes, brushes his teeth, and enters the steamy water, After submerging, he relaxes just a bit before washing himself off. He gets out, dries off, and heads back to his room in his underclothes. He quietly gets dressed in his adventuring gear and then goes over to the girl's room...
As before, he quietly opens it and peers inside. Seeing Quasit awake, he cheerfully wishes her good morning; however his heart inwardly sank at the tone of her reply as that told him things were still not well with her...nor likely between her and Sakitu. He wonders what is up with her, and tries to get a read on her...
...but regardless, he won't press her on it now. He gives her what he hopes is a friendly and caring smile...
He sits on Sakitu's bed and lightly rouses her, whispering, "G'morning, Hlao-roo, let's go get you some breakfast." He'll wait for her to get dressed before walking to the mess hall with her. As they sit and she starts to eat, he gives her a concerning look, asking, "How'd it go last night? I take it things did not go well?"
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When they meet in the courtyard for their ride, Fin mounts a dragonkin next to Sakitu; his bruises from the morning still smarting, he winces as he tries to get in a comfortable position. From the absence of the Commander and any of the council, Fin surmises they are likely as glad to be rid of us as they are to be rid of Yrax...
With the flight going by quickly, most likely as he has so much to think through, Fin points the hut out to Sakitu as they near it. He bows to Bescayie and Efrixes, smiling warmly, and waves goodbye as he turns to enter the hut with Sakitu..
When he stands, he looks around at the group, his ears high with curiosity. "My mentor told me about chickens, but I never imagined they were so big. You must be able to feed a whole village when you slaughter one."
Fin chuckles. ”Aye, my friend, if chickens were that big, they’d more likely be feeding on the villagers. Chickens are actually much smaller than this. Not sure how Baba Yaga manufactured this hut, but likely she magically crossed a giant chicken with a house…”
As they enter, he looks around for Zilvazaraat, saying " I wonder if that Z-dude has brought the items from our wishlists. Maka, if he brought the tattoo supplies we requested, I can get started on yours at your leisure..."
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When Fin sees Quasit slump down in the corner, he whispers to Sakitu. "Excuse me for a moment, Hlao-roo; I'm gonna try to talk with Q...I think there might be something going on with her that we're not aware of..."
Fin approaches her quietly, sitting down gingerly next to her. He smiles, but it's probably not the reassuring smile he means it to be, as he speaks softly…
"Q...I'm not the most insightful of folk...but I can sense that you're hurting. You've always been there for me to talk things thru, with all my nightmares and such...and I just wanted to let you know...you're my friend and I'm here for you always as well. If you'd like to tell me what's got you so troubled, I'll listen and I won't tell anyone, not even Saki...if not now, then whenever you wish..."
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There is an uncomfortable pause as Quasit stares straight ahead, and if she hadn't shrugged slightly, one might assume she hadn't even heard Findurél. But eventually she speaks in a voice laced with bitterness.
"Fin, why are we even here? Why is it our job to find Baba Yaga and stop Elvanna? Why do we have to come to another planet and save their civilization from tyranny, just so we can continue on this stupid quest? And do the Triaxians even care? They didn't even give us medals!"
"I'm so tired of all this. This infernal trail might go on for years. I have a life back home. We all do. Why is this our job? What are all those kings and armies for back home -- can't they march up to Irrissen and slay that stupid witch themselves? Are we supposed to believe that the Queen of Cheliax can't just summon a horde of devils to attack her and kill her? Or that the Lords of Magnimar couldn't unleash an army of golems? Or that the hordes of undead in Geb couldn't swamp her stupid wolves and trolls? How many archmages are there on Golarian who could counteract her damned portals? How many thousands of paladins are just sitting around without any particular evil to smite today?"
As she complains, getting progressively louder and angrier, her voice quakes with emotion and eventually she has to stop and swallow. She brings her hands to her face and covers her eyes. When she starts again, her voice is mostly just quietly hurting.
"It's not fair, Fin. I couldn't even go home if I wanted to. One of these days our luck is going to run out, and who would even know?"
When he stands, he looks around at the group, his ears high with curiosity. "My mentor told me about chickens, but I never imagined they were so big. You must be able to feed a whole village when you slaughter one."
Fin chuckles. ”Aye, my friend, if chickens were that big, they’d more likely be feeding on the villagers. Chickens are actually much smaller than this. Not sure how Baba Yaga manufactured this hut, but likely she magically crossed a giant chicken with a house…”
"Well except for the chickens that can turn you into stone, they're pretty big." Maka said as she hoisted the cured leg of some massive creature. Spinning around to gain some momentum, Maka tossed the meat towards Clucker's beak, who promptly gobbled it down. "Although Cluckers is way bigger then them too. Aren't you boy!?"
As they enter, he looks around for Zilvazaraat, saying " I wonder if that Z-dude has brought the items from our wishlists. Maka, if he brought the tattoo supplies we requested, I can get started on yours at your leisure..."
"Oh I can't wait! I've got some designs for everyone else's too!"
As she complains, getting progressively louder and angrier, her voice quakes with emotion and eventually she has to stop and swallow. She brings her hands to her face and covers her eyes. When she starts again, her voice is mostly just quietly hurting.
"It's not fair, Fin. I couldn't even go home if I wanted to. One of these days our luck is going to run out, and who would even know?"
As Quasit became audibly and visibly upset, Maka quietly came over and placed a gentle arm around Quasit's shoulder. "Hey, hey, it's okay. Luck is only like, a tenth of the reason we've made it this far. When our luck runs out, we'll make do." Maka did her best to comfort her friend, though she didn't really know what was bothering Quasit. Maka's golden eyes flicked to Fin, silently questioning him as to what had happened.
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Fin nods, gently putting a hand on her shoulder, and just listens quietly while Quasit cuts loose. He delays a bit when she pauses, to make sure she's thru talking for now, before replying.
"You're right, Q, it's not fair...Erastil knows why the Black Rider just happened to appear to us, at that exact moment in time, gave us this burden. Maybe somehow, he saw in us something we could not even see in ourselves, at least back then, that we were too frackin' stubborn to give up…
“As for the Triaxians, I expect that the council, while initially happy that Yrax was dead, began to think that we might be a threat to them as well...perhaps Kalchine might have some insight into that. At least Kal, Bescaylie, and Efrixes were grateful…”
He pauses before continuing. "I don't have all the answers, Q; but you've been around the block. Leaders, with all their bureaucratic BS, by the time they decided to act, if they did at all, Golarion would already be covered in ice. And after all the paladins contemplated if it was OK to help someone evil by smiting another evil, it'd be the same...maybe the Black Rider knew this as well…”
Fin ponders a moment on why he’s really here. "Not that it means much, but I guess I'm here for two reasons. First off, I'm here because I love my friends and want to make sure you all survive this. Second, if not us, then who?
“And as for our luck running out, well…I…won’t…let…that…happen…"
After another pause, Fin looks to her, concern in his eyes, asking, "Is there anything else wrong?"
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While Findurel patiently addresses her complaints and Maka chimes in with support, Quasit mostly just squirms impatiently making uncomfortable faces. She doesn’t seem to want to be comforted.
After another pause, Fin looks to her, concern in his eyes, asking, "Is there anything else wrong?"
Again this question is greeted at first with a long uncomfortable silence. She looks absolutely miserable. Then it leaks out.
”I just found out my dad is dead. It’s my fault. I was supposed to be there.”
She gasps inward involuntarily at her own words, then exhales raggedly in a sort of moan of despair. She closes her eyes and looks away.
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Again this question is greeted at first with a long uncomfortable silence. She looks absolutely miserable. Then it leaks out.
”I just found out my dad is dead. It’s my fault. I was supposed to be there.”
She gasps inward involuntarily at her own words, then exhales raggedly in a sort of moan of despair. She closes her eyes and looks away.
Fin is stunned momentarily; then he reacts without thinking, and gently hugs her…he’s silent for a while, trying to fight back tears but failing. He finally, softly, murmurs, ”I’m so sorry, Nésa…it sucks when your dad dies…” He says no more, as he knows there are no words that can console her…
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"That's okay, you don't have to wait why is Quasit mad at you?" Maka whispered back.
"That's the thing, I don't know. She was helping me cause I cut my finger and then Selena came and did some magic healing and then she just got all mad and left. Fin said that it would work out in time. Maybe that's so."
There is a little more conversation between Maka and Sakitu but after only a minute or two Sakitu tells Maka that she's really tired and just wants to go to bed.
As they sit and she starts to eat, he gives her a concerning look, asking, "How'd it go last night? I take it things did not go well?"
"Well, I guess nothing. I mean, after you left I just went to sleep. Maka was trying to ask me about, you know what, and I didn't want to talk and since Quasit was mad, I just thought going to bed was best. I saw her this morning and she still looks pretty down. Maybe I can find a time to sit with her later today." Sakitu devours the breakfast food as if it's her last meal.
When the group is deposited at the Hut, she dismounts agilely, gives the Triaxians a perfunctory wave and trudges up the steps and inside, then droops into a corner to await her doom.
Strange as it is, Sakitu is happy to see the hut. She follows a few steps behind Quasit in entering the hut. She stows her own gear at the side of the room and is trying to organize it when she hears Quasit's voice rising. Maka and Fin are there with her but it doesn't seem to be helping. Sakitu makes her way over.
”I just found out my dad is dead. It’s my fault. I was supposed to be there.”
Sakitu is shocked! A flood of sympathetic grief washes over her, alternating hot and cold sensations running through her whole body. This is terrible. She steps more quickly and gets onto the floor next to her friend. She wraps her arms around her and squeezes. Tears are welling in Sakitu's own eyes as she speaks in a low void. "Oh. I'm so so sorry."
Again this question is greeted at first with a long uncomfortable silence. She looks absolutely miserable. Then it leaks out.
”I just found out my dad is dead. It’s my fault. I was supposed to be there.”
She gasps inward involuntarily at her own words, then exhales raggedly in a sort of moan of despair. She closes her eyes and looks away.
A great sadness for her friend overtook Maka. "Oh...Quasit I'm so sorry!" Maka wrapped Quasit in a tight hug. "It's not your fault!"
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As Quasit is surrounded with support and sympathy the tears break free in a big way, and she just starts to wail and shake uncontrollably, the first time she’s ever broken down like this in front of anyone.
”I just… I…I can’t believe I’m… never gonna see him again!” she manages over her heaving half-hysterical sobs. ”He needed me!”
That’s all the words she can manage as she goes limp in the hugs of her friends.
”I just… I…I can’t believe I’m… never gonna see him again!” she manages over her heaving half-hysterical sobs. ”He needed me!”
That’s all the words she can manage as she goes limp in the hugs of her friends.
Maka wanted to tell her friend that everything would be alright, that this was a problem they could fix. But she knew that wasn't the truth. Even the most powerful of magic had its limits. There was no guarantee that they would be able to revive Quasit's father, that they would be able to commune with his spirit. And even if they did, that did nothing to fix the real and valid pain Quasit was currently experiencing. No, the best thing for Quasit was to feel and process her emotions, her grief. And all they could do was be there for her and offer what support they could.
"I know, I'm sorry. It's awful, just let it all out." Maka continued to hold Quasit and the others in a group hug.
He approaches Selena and speaks to her quietly. "What's wrong with Quasit? Do people from Golarion have hangovers on the second day?"
"I don't know what's with her. Something was going on yesterday. It must be related to that, but I don't really know what the issue is." Selena says with a shrug. "I figure she'll get over it in a day or two. I hope I won't need to slap her again. That's usually a moral crusher."
At the hut, Selena gives all the appropriate pleasantries. Then she whisked herself inside and looked around for everyone.
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After a few minutes, Fin feels that perhaps his presence is hindering the girls from talking more freely about their, and most importantly Quasit’s, feelings …while his empathy for Quasit is sincerely felt, he knows he’s all thumbs on these occasions and that Saki and Maka would be best for her now…
Fin tries to deftly and quietly leave the group hug thing so that the girls can be girls without an awkward dude screwing things up…
After wiping away a tear or two, he decides to put himself to good use and look around for Zilvazaraat to see if he has their goods…
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”No, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to make a spectacle of myself.” say Quasit with a deep sniffle and a wipe of the eyes as the worst of the weeping storm abates somewhat. She blows her nose and takes a deep breath.
”I’ve always been selfish and I’ve always made stupid choices. After we rescued that girl in Heldren, I should have taken my money and just gone home. I should have been there to take care of him. I don’t know how much I’ve told you about my dad— he drank. A lot. But he was getting better. He had a good heart but he… well, to put it bluntly, he was weak. And lonely. He couldn’t work and so me and my brothers were looking after him, making sure he wasn’t on the streets. But he hated the idea of charity, and my brothers were never around. He needed me there to support him. Especially after Nardo got hung.”
She shakes her head, then covers her mouth to hold in a new convulsion of sorrow. ”He drowned in a ditch. He must have been drunk. It’s so awful I can barely stand to think of it. He deserved better. I wonder if he even got a decent burial — Colin wouldn’t piss on him if he was on fire.”
She shakes her head. ”I was up all night, thinking about all the bad choices I’ve made, and all the people I’ve hurt. When I think of my past, I’m mostly just ashamed. Helping him … it’s about the only noble thing I ever did.”. She closes her eyes again and fresh tears stream silently down her cheeks.
She shakes her head. ”I was up all night, thinking about all the bad choices I’ve made, and all the people I’ve hurt. When I think of my past, I’m mostly just ashamed. Helping him … it’s about the only noble thing I ever did.”. She closes her eyes again and fresh tears stream silently down her cheeks.
Maka cradled Quasit while listening to her grieve and cry. "Quasit, I'm sorry about your dad. I'm sorry about his troubles, I'm sorry he died, I'm sorry you didn't get to say goodbye, I'm sorry we didn't get to meet him. But that's just silly."
Some part of Maka's mind told her to keep quiet and let Quasit vent, but Maka never much listened to that part anyway. "You're leading us on a quest to save the world! It's been hard and scary and it's cost you and there isn't really a reward. You don't have any especial oaths, powers, or training to deal with any of this stuff. But you know what? We'd still be stuck in Irrisen without you, I wouldn't trade you for 10 disciples from my monastery. You're one of the bravest, noblest people I've ever met."
Maka gave Quasit's hand a squeeze. "You didn't hurt your dad, none of this is your fault, and you're doing so much more than your fair share. I think you've always done more than your share. You don't need to beat yourself up, you can just grieve."
A thought came to Maka. "I know we can't bury him, but would you like to have a funeral for him? We could make a putala to bury or burn instead. Maybe you could tell us some fond memories"
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"…But that's just silly."
This gets Quasit’s attention. She looks at Maka almost hopefully.
" But you know what? We'd still be stuck in Irrisen without you, I wouldn't trade you for 10 disciples from my monastery. You're one of the bravest, noblest people I've ever met."
Quasit expels a mirthless grunt of laughter and looks up at the ceiling.
"You don't need to beat yourself up, you can just grieve."
”I suck at grieving.” Quasit says matter of factly.
"I know we can't bury him, but would you like to have a funeral for him? We could make a putala to bury or burn instead. Maybe you could tell us some fond memories"
Quasit looks somewhere between puzzled and horrified at this idea, but she quickly softens her face and answers as gently as she can. ”No… it’s ok, I don’t want to put you all through that. I just need to process all these emotions I guess. The shock, the guilt, the frustration, the anger… I just need some time.” She gets a faraway melancholy look on her face now. ”I’m not even sure I could articulate what made him special to me. He had a lot of flaws, but he always accepted me and loved me, no matter what I did. Other people didn’t see it. To almost everyone he was just another drunk. To himself too. But it made him humble and it made him compassionate. He was someone I could sit with and not have to speak and just be comfortable.”
Quasit blows her nose again, then pulls her knees tight up to her chest and rests her chin on her knees. ”I don’t know if there’s another person in the world who will mourn him. Gods above, that makes me so fricken’ sad.”
”I suck at grieving.” Quasit says matter of factly.
"Well hopefully you won't get enough practice to be good at it." Maka replied, Grand Master Isla springing to her mind. Through his long life, he had seen many generations born and die. "It's a very sad skill to be good at."
Quasit looks somewhere between puzzled and horrified at this idea, but she quickly softens her face and answers as gently as she can. ”No… it’s ok, I don’t want to put you all through that. I just need to process all these emotions I guess. The shock, the guilt, the frustration, the anger… I just need some time.”
"It wouldn't be putting us through anything." Maka looked around at the others, the expression on her face demanding support. "If it would help you, we'll do it no questions. But if you don't that's fine. Anything you need, right? Take all the time."
She gets a faraway melancholy look on her face now. ”I’m not even sure I could articulate what made him special to me. He had a lot of flaws, but he always accepted me and loved me, no matter what I did. Other people didn’t see it. To almost everyone he was just another drunk. To himself too. But it made him humble and it made him compassionate. He was someone I could sit with and not have to speak and just be comfortable.””
"That's...really nice." Maka replied, struggling to hold back her tears. She couldn't help but think of her own father, of the acceptance and love he had always had for her. "Dads are the best."
Quasit blows her nose again, then pulls her knees tight up to her chest and rests her chin on her knees. ”I don’t know if there’s another person in the world who will mourn him. Gods above, that makes me so fricken’ sad.”
Maka desperately wanted to say something to comfort her friend, but no words formed. Her mouth sat agape, her face a stupid expression of mixed emotions. After a few moments, she gave up on trying to think of something helpful or useful to say. Pulling out her magic jug, Maka concentrated before the water inside turned to a strong plum wine. Maka took a deep drink before handing the jug to Quasit. "It makes me sad too. I'm sorry."
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Quasit regards the offered jug for about 3 seconds. ”Ooo, I really shouldn’t after the mess I made of myself the other night.” she says, as she takes the jug and treats herself to a decent pull. She then offers it to Sakitu.
”I had a weird thought too, on top of all this. I wonder if that satyr cursed me somehow. Remember how his ghost asked if I could have him buried outside Artrosa? And in return he gave me his pipes and said they’d be some sort of special reward? I’ve been carrying them around ever since, but I haven’t really dared to use them or even touch them. It would be just like him to have passed on some nasty smirky fey curse to harm my loved ones. I know it sounds a little crazy, but I can’t stop wondering about it.”
She rests her chin on her knees again, staring off into space.
”I wonder if Zorka can make pancakes. My dad made the best pancakes — he knew people at the docks, and he could get imported fruits and spices. He’d put a little cinnamon into the batter, then we’d cover them with butter and sugar and chopped fruit. We’d wrap them up into rolls sometimes and carry them around to eat later in the day.” A ghost of a smile wavers on her lips. ”And sometimes we’d wrap up sausages in them instead. I know it sounds a little strange, but they were delicious.”
She turns her head so that her cheek rests on her knees instead.
”My brothers teased me a lot when I was little. I’m 7 years younger than Colin, and I guess he usually found me super annoying, which I probably was, and Nardo would just kinda go along with it because he worshipped his big brother. And I learned that snitching just made things worse. There were a lot of nights I went to bed feeling sad and angry and plotting colossal revenge against them. But anytime I was really upset I’d go to dad where he was sleeping with mom and I’d just have to tug his nightshirt. He’d wake up and we’d look at each other, and without a word he’d climb out of bed and go sit in the rocking chair near the stove, and I’d sit in his lap with his big arms around me and I’d always feel better. We didn’t talk — we didn’t want to wake the others, and we lived in a one room apartment. But we didn’t need to. I’d usually fall asleep in a few minutes and wake up next morning tucked back into my own bed. And sometimes I’d even forget to carry out my revenge plots.”
She catches Maka’s eye. ”I probably feel guilty about abandoning him because that’s exactly what my mother did to him. And I’ve never been able to quite forgive her for that. I hate to think I’m like her, even a little. But I am, I guess. My Varisian blood. I get to feeling trapped so easily. It’s always been easier for me to run away from troubles and responsibilities than to face them. I even feel trapped by love and friendship sometimes. Do you know what I mean? And right now, I am definitely feeling trapped on this little adventure of ours. Maybe it’s good for me that running isn’t really an option.”
It would be just like him to have passed on some nasty smirky fey curse to harm my loved ones. I know it sounds a little crazy, but I can’t stop wondering about it.”
"Well that sounds like another way to blame yourself, but we can have Selena triple check for curses."
”I wonder if Zorka can make pancakes. My dad made the best pancakes — he knew people at the docks, and he could get imported fruits and spices. He’d put a little cinnamon into the batter, then we’d cover them with butter and sugar and chopped fruit. We’d wrap them up into rolls sometimes and carry them around to eat later in the day.” A ghost of a smile wavers on her lips. ”And sometimes we’d wrap up sausages in them instead. I know it sounds a little strange, but they were delicious.”
"It sounds delicious!" Maka said a little too excitedly. "It doesn't sound strange at all, food always fires up my memory too."
"Hey Zorka!" Maka shouted while looking around the hut for the strange caretaker. "Would you please make us some pancakes? Sausages too if you could?"
She catches Maka’s eye. ”I probably feel guilty about abandoning him because that’s exactly what my mother did to him. And I’ve never been able to quite forgive her for that. I hate to think I’m like her, even a little. But I am, I guess. My Varisian blood. I get to feeling trapped so easily. It’s always been easier for me to run away from troubles and responsibilities than to face them. I even feel trapped by love and friendship sometimes. Do you know what I mean? And right now, I am definitely feeling trapped on this little adventure of ours. Maybe it’s good for me that running isn’t really an option.”
"You didn't abandon him. Did you intend to never see him again? No. You were living your life and got caught up in some witch nonsense. Do you really think your dad wanted you to never leave his side? Do you really think he'd have preferred never ending winter? Do you really think you could have prevented anything bad from ever happening to him if you had never left his side?" Maka took a deep breath to keep herself calm. "I don't. I also don't think it's bad that you left, I don't think it's bad that you have a wanderlust. I do think it's bad we are stuck on this adventure. But once we're done and have our boat we'll be free to go where we like. You can pick our first adventure!"
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"It sounds delicious!"
"You didn't abandon him. Did you intend to never see him again? No. You were living your life and got caught up in some witch nonsense. Do you really think your dad wanted you to...
Quasit nods along as Maka makes reasonable points. She didn’t seem ready to give up feeling crappy yet though.
”OK, maybe ‘abandon’ wasn’t the best word.” she admits. ”And yeah, you’re right, he felt guilty about me looking after him, even though he liked having me around.”
”And if I’m being totally honest, toward the end the authorities were watching our place, so it was pretty hard for me to just hang out with him. A lot of times I’d just be dropping off some money to him and chatting for a few minutes before slipping back into the alleys. But I never saw that as permanent, I figured eventually they’d get tired of looking for me and bugger off.”
Suddenly Quasit gets an alarmed look on her face. ”Devils in Hell, what if it wasn’t an accident?’ she says, grabbing Maka’s wrist.
”Everyone knew he was our dad… if Colin owed money to people — or if the authorities wanted to… or maybe he was getting into debt himself, with us out of town…Ugh! If they hadn’t cut off his hand, he could have just earned a decent living and everything would have been different!”
It was really no use. Her mind continued to just whip around in regret and recrimination fueled by the engine of her grief. This might go on for hours before she talked herself out. She takes back the magic wine jug and takes three more big gulps.
Suddenly Quasit gets an alarmed look on her face. ”Devils in Hell, what if it wasn’t an accident?’ she says, grabbing Maka’s wrist.
”Everyone knew he was our dad… if Colin owed money to people — or if the authorities wanted to… or maybe he was getting into debt himself, with us out of town…
Maka's instinct was to get alarmed along with Quasit. But instead she remembered her training, she remained calm. Taking Quasit's hand into her own, Maka looked deep into Quasit's brown eyes. "Could be. Would that be better or worse?"
Ugh! If they hadn’t cut off his hand, he could have just earned a decent living and everything would have been different!”
"I'm sorry. I wish that hadn't happened. I wish people and the world, worlds I guess, were better. But we can't change the past, we just have to try to be better with each step forward."
It was really no use. Her mind continued to just whip around in regret and recrimination fueled by the engine of her grief. This might go on for hours before she talked herself out. She takes back the magic wine jug and takes three more big gulps.
Maka simply did her best to help support Quasit. Whether that was offering advice, listening, or simply setting in silence while drinking for several hours.
Zorka pops up shortly after the party enters the Hut, and completely fails to read the mood in the room.
"You have a guest. I told him to wait in the gazebo," the little creature says, gesturing vaguely downwards with one hand. Then she starts sweeping the room, seemingly uncaring about what you do with what she said.
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Sakitu takes the bottle that Quasit hands her. While Quasit isn't looking she sniffs the bottle and it makes her nose wrinkle. She's still staring at it when Quasit reaches to take it back. She hands it over willingly.
Quasit's story is unbearably sad. Sakitu can't help but think of her own parents. By now they are certain to know that she's gone. They must be worried sick. But Sakitu can't think of that now. She leans in to hug her friend some more. That's the best she can do.
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. "Could be. Would that be better or worse?"
Quasit considers this then shrugs in defeat. "I dunno. They're both pretty awful, huh?"
"I'm sorry. I wish that hadn't happened. I wish people and the world, worlds I guess, were better. But we can't change the past, we just have to try to be better with each step forward."
Quasit nods in agreement with this. Momentarily bereft of anything meaningful to say, she pulls out her tin flute and begins to play melancholy melodies. She leans into Sakitu's hug as she does so, resting her head against her friend's.
"You have a guest. I told him to wait in the gazebo," the little creature says, gesturing vaguely downwards with one hand. Then she starts sweeping the room, seemingly uncaring about what you do with what she said.
"I don't think she's going to make pancakes." Maka replied with frustration in her voice.
Quasit considers this then shrugs in defeat. "I dunno. They're both pretty awful, huh?"
Maka merely nodded in agreement.
Quasit nods in agreement with this. Momentarily bereft of anything meaningful to say, she pulls out her tin flute and begins to play melancholy melodies. She leans into Sakitu's hug as she does so, resting her head against her friend's.
Maka took another drink from the jug and sat along in silence with her friends.
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On his way to the gazebo, Fin alerts Bulvi, Selena, & Kalchine that it appears Zilvazaraat has returned, hopefully with the items to purchase from their wishlist...thinking Quasit might still need a little more time with Maka and Sakitu, he lets them be for the time being…
Recalling where the gazebo is, Fin makes his way there, seeing the interstellar merchant waiting patiently. He approaches and, accompanied by a friendly smile, he bows.
"Ah, Master Zilvazaraat, good to see you again, my friend; thank you for your promptness in answering our call. Were you able to acquire our items? We should have the funds, to include trade-ins, that will cover your costs and provide you a reasonable profit margin as well..."