Girls of the Inner Sea drinking song

[ProfPotts]

I started a thread about Golarion-specific limmericks and mentioned the possibility of turning such into a drinking song... and the idea got stuck in my head...

'Girls of the Inner Sea' is a popular drinking song with sailors, with the usual multitude of variations and additions such songs tend to spawn. Often each verse is sung by one participant, taking turns round the group, and everyone joins in on the chorus. Sometimes the verses are sung in the order of countries the ship the sailors are on is visiting, although a more challenging version is where at the end of each chorus someone not singing (such as a passing barmaid) shouts out a random destination, and the singers compete to be the first to recite (or ad-lib) a verse about that destination. Other variations no doubt exist... and the drinking part is probably more important anyway...

What follows is one of the more basic (and less crude) versions of the song, based on the 'North tack' trade route:

[Chorus]
Sailing around the Inner Sea,
A girl in every port for me.
Slip the lines, unfurl the sail,
What is the next stop in our tale?

I once knew an Andoran maid,
Who always refused to be paid,
It confused her, you see,
That all should be free,
For her cause, I always gave aid...

[Chorus] Sailing around... etc.

I once knew a Taldan girl,
Who wouldn't give up her pearl,
She couldn't be bought,
So I showed her the court,
And told her that I was an Earl...

[Chorus] Sailing around... etc.

I knew a Qadiran princess,
Who did everything to excess,
Her favourite horse,
She rode hard, of course,
Me twice as hard I must confess...

[Chorus] Sailing around... etc.

I once knew an Absalom lady,
Who I met in a tavern most shady,
'Twas no test of Starstone,
That caused her to moan,
There's a god in my pants, so she praised me...

[Chorus] Sailing around... etc.

I once knew a Chelish lass,
Who I loved to take up the As-
-modean church,
Where a flick of the birch,
Got rid of some of her sass...

[Chorus] Sailing around... etc.

[SwnyNerdgasm]

I love it

[the Queen's Raven]

More more!

[Alleran]

Well done.

I'd contribute, but I'm terrible at rhyming.

[ProfPotts]

I once knew a Gebbite queen,
Who's tastes were quite obscene,
She rubbed me scarlet,
My undead Harlot,
I think you know who I mean...

I once knew a girl from Nex,
Who came with me below decks,
She could spot a lie,
With her third eye,
And that kinda' ruined the sex...

[Diamond B]

This is great! I've been toying around with an idea for a bard that uses limericks as his performances.

[ProfPotts]

A slave-girl from Katapesh port,
I purchased for more than I ought,
An Eagle Knight raid,
Cared not that I’d paid,
They freed her and left me with nought.

One time in Osirion,
My heart a girl had won,
She really was quite yummy,
But said she was a mummy,
I heard that and I was gone...

[BigNorseWolf]

do you have a song this can be sung to?

[ProfPotts]

I one knew a Thuvian,
She seemed a young woman,
But by the power,
Of some rare flower,
Was older than my gran.

A girl of Rahadoum,
Enticed me to her room,
T’was no god,
But mine own rod,
Put a baby in her womb.

(I'm thinking sing it to anything that fits... :) ).

[Sissyl]

Song, or limerick. Make up your minds. =)

[BigNorseWolf]

I knew a girl from irisen
I met her in a frozen glen
We danced all night
to my delight
come morn we had a go again

The local lads
they weren't mad
In fact they all seemed grateful
A witch tis known is ambrosian
but mind you don't get frozen.

[Snorter]

A Vudran girl of import
Had learnt how to twist and contort.
She could lean so far back,
To see right up her crack.
It made for some limbering sport.

[Snorter]

While wandering the forest one day,
I fell into the Court of the Fey.
One asked if, mayhap,
I could shine his red cap.
But I told him I don't swing that way.

[Snorter]

I once passed through Rahadoum,
Found myself in an atheist's room.
We argued all night,
Over who had the right,
To do What, with Which, and to Whom.

[ProfPotts]

A girl from Jalmeray,
I tumbled in the hay,
She kicked my parts,
With martial arts,
That’s why I walk this way...

I knew an Irrisen witch,
As beautiful as she was rich,
My ardour it rose,
Slipped in her and froze,
T’will snap off if I even twitch!

[Snorter]

Have you been reading 'Oglaf', Professor? :)

[ProfPotts]

A Varisian temptress,
Her dancing, it did impress,
Just for a laugh,
She tattooed my staff,
Its meaning is anyone’s guess.

(What's 'Oglaf'? Must Google... ;) ).

[Snorter]

ProfPotts wrote:

(What's 'Oglaf'? Must Google... ;) ).

Not at work, I hope?

>:O

[ProfPotts]

Mediogalti Island sands,
Have girls curvaceous and tanned,
I scored a date with one girl... wait,
Are they sabres in her han... [trails off into an ominous blood gurgling noise...]

[ProfPotts]

A girl from Belkzen Hold,
I slept with for the gold,
But our love it turned true,
And we wed with a view,
To make half-orcs ‘til we’re old.

[Thought I’d have another stab at Rahadoum too (for some reason in my head ‘Rahadoum’ is always pronounced by James Earl Jones)...]

A girl from Rahadoum,
Enticed me to her room,
‘You’re divine!’ she attested,
Was promptly arrested,
My prowess had sealed her doom.

[... although I’ll admit that rhyming ‘doum’ and ‘doom’ is a little lazy on my part...]

[P.S.: Snorter – I checked out that Oglaf site... hilarious, if NSFW! :) ]

[Sissyl]

Hilarious AND NSFW.

[ProfPotts]

I bedded elfish twins,
In Kyonin, for my sins,
Both I did nail,
Even though one was male,
But ‘twas fun, so everyone wins!

A Numerian ingénue,
I once attempted to woo,
When I gave her a poke,
She started to smoke,
And sparks from her body did spew.

[BigNorseWolf]

I met a lass o'mountains deep
her beard as wooly as a sheep
I swear the Beer did cloud my eyes
er else in dwarf a wedding is the same word as surprise

[Snorter]

One for Mikaze; congratulations on the writing gig!

Met a girl by the East Sellen River
My kisses, they made her quiver.
She gave out a cry,
"I was a 'firefly',
But your passion makes me reconsider!"

[Alleran]

ProfPotts wrote:

[Thought I’d have another stab at Rahadoum too (for some reason in my head ‘Rahadoum’ is always pronounced by James Earl Jones)...]

I always think of it as if it were very similar to Ambassador Kosh.

[Sissyl]

<plink> <whirr> <zoink> Rahadoum. <fizzle> <blorp>

[ProfPotts]

Alleran wrote:

ProfPotts wrote:

[Thought I’d have another stab at Rahadoum too (for some reason in my head ‘Rahadoum’ is always pronounced by James Earl Jones)...]

I always think of it as if it were very similar to Ambassador Kosh.

The whole Vorlon thing would make a weird sort of sense in Rahadoum...

'Look, an angel sent by the Gods! Get it!'

'Angel? Me? No, I'm... I'm a... an alien... yeah, that's it... not an angel at all, but a guy from space... someone get me a concealing robe...'

['Sani]

Pathfinder girl like a volcano,
Boy thought her sweet, like milano,
his drinking song oozed
and she wasn't amused
And now when the boy sings, it's soprano.

[Zeus the Moose]

Upon reading the refrain a tune almost immediately popped into my head. I'm trying to transcribe the melody onto sheet music, though like most folk music that's much easier said that done. If I come up with something halfway decent I'll post it here for all to use (maybe with a video of me singing a few verses if I'm feeling bold.)

Thanks for the inspiration!

[Snorter]

Zeus, there'll be some more songs released to the community in Friday's Wayfinder, if you want to have a pop at them?

[Coriat]

Those Technic girls just want to play
They look for boys every which way
But once I did glance at
Their 'special enhancements'
I ran like hell far, far away.

[Zeus the Moose]

Coriat wrote:

Those Technic girls just want to play

They look for boys every which way
But once I did glance at
Their 'special enhancements'
I ran like hell far, far away.

A handsome young cyborg named Ace?

Coriat wrote:

Zeus, there'll be some more songs released to the community in Friday's Wayfinder, if you want to have a pop at them?

Great, thanks! I make no claim to being a song-writer, but every once in a while this bug gets in my head. If I can contribute to the community even in my bizarre little way, I'll be happy.

[Coriat]

Zeus the Moose wrote:

Coriat wrote:

Those Technic girls just want to play

They look for boys every which way
But once I did glance at
Their 'special enhancements'
I ran like hell far, far away.

A handsome young cyborg named Ace?

Barracks graffiti in Starfall Command.

[Coriat]

In Geb I found a beautiful prize
A girl powerful, sultry and wise
But finally it struck me
She just wanted to suck me
I barely broke free of her eyes

[ProfPotts]

Zeus the Moose wrote:

Upon reading the refrain a tune almost immediately popped into my head. I'm trying to transcribe the melody onto sheet music, though like most folk music that's much easier said that done. If I come up with something halfway decent I'll post it here for all to use (maybe with a video of me singing a few verses if I'm feeling bold.)

Thanks for the inspiration!

That would be awesome! :)

[John Kretzer]

These are great...I have to write them down for when I am playing the Skull & Shackles game I am in.

[Quirel]

I once courted a lady from Weatherby,
As embarrassed as a person could be.
Her rumblings abdominal
Were simply phenomenal
And everyone thought it was me!

I caught the eye of a dark mage in Stee,
Wizened and sallow and rotten was she!
But hard as she tried
My sex drive had died
Beyond the cure of necromancy.

In Kyonin I flirted with a nurse
But on my head she placed a curse.
With steel in her eyes
She swore I would die
If ever I described her in verse.

[ProfPotts]

In the ruins of the Sodden Lands,
I met a girl where no city now stands,
Her folks all had tails,
Big teeth, claws and scales...
... Our kids were all born with webbed hands.

A Shackles girl, a cutie,
She did her pirate duty,
My love ‘twas not hollow,
I really would follow,
Her anywhere for that booty.

In the M’Wangi Expanse,
I met a nice girl at a dance,
I failed to see,
That she wanted me,
To cook and eat, not for romance.

I met a girl in the Mana Waste,
I really thought was to my taste,
But Fate on me did grin,
A vestigial twin,
I found when her dress I unlaced.

[ProfPotts]

I tried one time to beguile,
A girl from Hermea isle,
It didn’t last long,
For she’d heard this song,
And thought me imperfect and vile.

In Sargava I caused a flap,
When caught in some tickle and slap,
With a colonist’s wife,
I fled South for my life,
And fell off the edge of the map.

In Brevoy a noble girl laughed,
And wooed me with all of her craft,
She said she was bored,
Dating a Sword Lord,
And wanted to handle my shaft.

A girl from the Wound of the World,
Around my li’l finger I curled,
Because she was a fiend,
Whose True Name I had gleaned,
My evil moustache I then twirled.

A girl from the Mammoth Lords’ Realm,
I once with lust did overwhelm,
The massive beast,
In my pants was the least,
‘Twas also the horns on my helm.

[ProfPotts]

In the Lands of the Linnorm Kings,
I’ve had many one-night flings.
Ulfen girls I make moan,
But the curse of a crone,
Means when I do it really stings.

I once new a girl from Galt,
Whose passions I couldn’t halt,
She had to be bedded,
Each time they beheaded,
Some chump who wasn’t at fault.

A Razmiran priestess,
I slipped out of her dress,
Her mask she kept on,
I felt ‘twas a con,
And kissing was just a mess.

[ProfPotts]

At the Five Kings Mountains I met,
A girl who was the best yet,
The clincher for me?
Her stability,
No matter how rough we would get.

[ProfPotts]

I once knew a girl from Lastwall,
Who loved her men strapping and tall,
She liked them so large,
'Cos she'd mount 'em, yell, 'Charge!'
And ride 'em until they did fall.

[SiegeDraco]

Gold... this is just pure gold. I wish I didn't have writer's block right now.

[Ironshield]

At last an Azlanti i found,
Having looked and looked all around,
But when i lifted her veil,
My mind turned so frail,
As an Aboleth spell pinned me down.

[Ironshield]

Girls of the Outer Sphere

In the city of Axis i saw,
An Axiomite girl without flaw,
No set of equations,
Could describe our relations,
As we passionately laid down the law.

I once knew a psychopomp dame
Tall and slender, thin of frame,
In her house at night,
or in Groetus' light
We made the realm of Pharasma live up to its name.

-To be continued...

[W E Ray]

Dot

[Kevin Andrew Murphy]

I once met a grisette from Galt
Who said that 'twould be my own fault
If my head were mislaid
For that maid's "Final Blade"
Stood ready for Roy'list assault.

I once met an Andoran, free--
A maid of the citizenry.
"Rise up, you poor slave!"
Quoth the girl as my knave
Did as bade and she kissed him with glee.

A Taldan lass of noble blood
Said, "'Tis sad that thy pedigree's mud
For all dalliance here
Must be done peer to peer.
It appears that you're out of luck." Crud.

[Snorter]

In Sothis, I met a cute elf,
Whose love was reserved for myself.
But we never did bed,
For her maidenhead,
Was kept in a jar on the shelf.

[Emmit Svenson]

BigNorseWolf wrote:

do you have a song this can be sung to?

Many limericks can be sung to the tune of "On the Good Ship Venus", a hilariously filthy song.