Things that cost 1,000,000 gp

[Lincoln Hills]

The Mighty Chocobo wrote:

4.00

Wonderful! That means I won't need this adamantine saw in order to make exact change!

[Tacticslion]

Off-topic Response to Elminster Hate:

As an aside, while I understand that there is a substantial undercurrent of hatred for Elminster - and, inexplicably to me, the Harpers of all things, "Because they're good guys." - and similarly high-powered individuals (especially as this is one of the most recurring points Forgotten Realms haters bring up) I have never felt that way. It baffled me for the longest time. Emotionally, I'm still baffled, though I can intellectually understand the arguments. To me, they simply feel... well... silly. (This is not to say they are silly - only that they feel that way to my sensibilities; this is an emotional reaction, similar to the deep-seated hatred many feel towards said setting and/or characters, not a fully rational or reasonable one.)

That said, if one happened to have an poor, abusive, or heavy-handed GM, I could see transferring that emotional reaction toward the NPCs in question. It's not rational, but it's certainly comprehensible, as they become the effective mouthpiece of the GM in question.

This is different from hating them on principle, which is the majority of what I've run into.

More on-topic, anyone wanna run up how much this stuff costs and see if it's in the running for this thread?

[The Mighty Chocobo]

I feel as if that thread is familiar Tactics ;P
How many >insert weird thing here< chucks yo do you think you could buy

[Tacticslion]

Depends on the 'chucks in question, as they're all a different price (but you still couldn't quite afford the armoire of invincibility, even if it were for sale). :D

[chaoseffect]

Tacticslion wrote:

** spoiler omitted **

More on-topic, anyone wanna run up how much this stuff costs and see if it's in the running for this thread?

Off topic response: I have no issue with the Harpers, but every time I get to hear the NPCs I just saved gush about how awesome their protector Elminister is I want to tell them, "Cool, get him to cast one of his 12th level spells next time and resolve the issue. I'm going over here to have some adventures where I'm actually needed. No, no don't call me if the demon army comes back. I'm sure Elminister will get it for you." It's like the setting has the most annoying DMPC hovering around for the NPCs to pin all of your achievements on... it's like Gandalf in DM of the Rings (which you should read if you haven't; it makes me happy :D).

[Tacticslion]

Off Topic Corner!:

chaoseffect wrote:

Tacticslion wrote:

** spoiler omitted **

More on-topic, anyone wanna run up how much this stuff costs and see if it's in the running for this thread?

Off topic response: I have no issue with the Harpers, but every time I get to hear the NPCs I just saved gush about how awesome their protector Elminister is I want to tell them, "Cool, get him to cast one of his 12th level spells next time and resolve the issue. I'm going over here to have some adventures where I'm actually needed. No, no don't call me if the demon army comes back. I'm sure Elminister will get it for you." It's like the setting has the most annoying DMPC hovering around for the NPCs to pin all of your achievements on... it's like Gandalf in DM of the Rings (which you should read if you haven't; it makes me happy :D).

I read DM of the Rings - it was quite well done, actually, though I vastly prefer Darths and Droids (that's not a knock on DM of the Rings, though, as the latter - and a great many other comics - would not exist without it; it was original and quite clever).

It sounds to me, however, that your circumstances sound very much like a GM simply applying things rather stupendously incorrectly, by missing the point and intent of people like Elminster; that may just be my personal preference or style, however.

Either way, we're cool.

[Tacticslion]

The Mighty Chocobo wrote:

I feel as if that thread is familiar Tactics ;P

How many >insert weird thing here< chucks yo do you think you could buy

...

...

...

... dang it. Now I've got to find out.

*mumble... grumble... lousy OCD... complain*

:)

10,000,000: Fruit Chucks
15,384: Scythe Chucks
14,285: Hammer Chucks
12,500: Axe Chucks
11,111: Shield Chucks
8,695: Sword Chucks
4,651: Waraxe Chucks
4,000: Bastardsword Chucks
2000: Drill Chucks
1,941: Bow Chucks
425: Chainsaw Chucks
66: Gun Chucks
50: Revolver-rifle Chucks/Shotgun Chucks

based on the staff or wand: Staff Chucks/Wand Chucks

239: Chainsaw Chuck Norris Chucks (although their equipment cost is not included in this figure: you'd actually be able to afford far less, especially fewer the higher the level of the Chuck Norrises you have on your 'chucks are.)

Bomb-chucks increase the price of any 'chuck by 200, reducing the amount available accordingly. You could, however, upgrade 5,000 existing 'chucks into bomb-chucks.

I think you could afford Omnichucks (maybe even two), as they're basically a +12 weapon, though I'm not entirely sure of that (the fact that they're a minor artifact takes them off of the pricing chart anyway, but I'm just unsure of the cost of a +12 weapon; +10 is 200k, and the pricing doesn't look to scale so rapidly as to be unaffordable, but... I dunno; I haven't priced something like that out).

[Vod Canockers]

1 very large banana.

[Deadbeat Doom]

1 very small universe.

[Wrong John Silver]

(the two being one and inseparable)

[RJGrady]

I don't mind the ludicrous numbers of whatevers, but I'm most interested in big ticket items.

[True Repentance]

1: Check for 'one million gold pieces only'

[Green Smashomancer]

Tacticslion wrote:

Depends on the 'chucks in question, as they're all a different price (but you still couldn't quite afford the armoire of invincibility, even if it were for sale). :D

Honestly, I just ran out of things that had a high enough degree of both weird and dangerous or I'd still be adding things.

EDIT: I'm also pretty sure that Elminster gets most of his flak for being written as the most important guy ever who's totally supah kewwl and sexes all the hot ladies and wins at everything because he's the authors stand-in who for some reason gets to exist in canon as an endless source of "why doesn't he just spend three seconds to solve this?" in the world with the very flimsy excuse of "he's too powerful" or something similar. supah kewwl. [/off-topic]

[Lincoln Hills]

As much as I love to see Elminster slammed, I feel I owe an apology to everybody for bringing up his name!

Back on topic: 12 steam giants - fully crewed! And the crew can even afford fancy uniforms. I'm picturing epaulets myself.

[Chemlak]

Moar Off-topic Elminsterishness:

I run my home game in FR, and Elminster has about as much impact on it as your average wet rat. It's not that I dislike him as a character, really, but using him smacks of deus ex machina, and I want my PCs to feel like they're the important ones in the world. A few of the PCs have met him, and I don't think they have a very high opinion of him. So he spends most of my campaigns off-world.

[Robb Smith]

When you get into this space, your own personal universe is the answer. It gets you a large number of permanent castings of create demiplane (lesser, greater, vanilla) with permanency and then plenty of money for structures, etc.

[Tacticslion]

Chemlak wrote:

** spoiler omitted **

I kind of thought we were done, but since it was mentioned again...:

I've used Elminster a few times. He's been quite popular each time, and - on at least one occasion - he was rescued by the PCs. Similarly, I've thoroughly enjoyed him whenever he's showed up in a game I played in. Although Greensmashomancer's point is well-taken, it's pretty clearly explained why he doesn't fix everything - he doesn't have time, energy, or knowledge enough to do so. In short, he's busy, finite, and prefers to have "off days" as well, because, you know, human. :)

But to each their own.