After many long days and nights of travel, you near the end of your journey. From across the land, you each had heard tales of the treasures won and fortunes made from plumbing the depths of the world's most infamous dungeon, and while you may have initially set out for adventure by yourselves, you quickly fell in with a group of five others. Sensing a contrived excuse to get the party together quickly, you fell in with no real reason not to betray each other after gaining the smallest amount of loot other than you wouldn't want hard feelings to carry over after the deed was done.
The sun shines warmly down upon you as you climb the last hill before you reach your destination. The townsfolk you passed were quick to give you directions to your goal, and honestly, you couldn't have arrived on a more pleasant day. A few white clouds drift lazily in the sky, and the air is atwitter with birdsong. As you crest the final hill, you see the majestic twin spires rising above a high brickwork barbican. A nearby river has been diverted to create a moat around the fortress, and a lone drawbridge is the only way in or out. A low building made of wood and thatching sits outside the city walls, but other than that, the remainder of the approach is choked with tall grass and weeds. Patches of dead grass and dry earth mar this sight, but the brush does not extend to a wide dirt path leading directly to the drawbridge.
You press onwards down the path...for Castle Greyhawk awaits!
"So... this is Castle Greyhawk, is it? Guess it'll have to do." He sneers, looking at the old walls in the distance.
Darius adjusts his backpack and takes a drink out of his waterskin.
Now then, what kind of people do I find myself saddled with? A big lug whose sword is probably smarter than he is, a gnome who couldn't be serious if his life depended on it, a cleric that could fit in a small sack, a frog and... well the less said about the goblin, the better. What did I do to deserve this, seriously?"
Duncan, having finally wandered his way out of the nether realm of possibilities in which he had found himself, strode purposely forth towards what must certainly be his destiny. His boyish smile, out of place on the face of a man who is most assuredly reaching middle age, seems to infect every person the big man passes. Well, until they notice the manner of his dress.
A wicked blade strapped crossed his back gleams menacingly, it seems to have been forged as a single piece. Though the blade is plainly adorned with no care to style, it is obviously a well made length of steel designed solo for the purpose of removing life from any foe it meets. His armor is equally designed, plainly made and designed solely to protect life with no frivolity. The dirt and mud caked on his leathers shows the time he had spent on the trail here.
Still he smiled incongruously at odds with his warrior dress. The way he moved, a mountain lumbering forward without worry, would have been mistaken for the cool confidence of a trained killer if it were not for the way he swung his arms all the world looking like a young boy with a stick on back.
"Finally here. Our adventure begins here. Not on the path we have walked, those days behind us. Here is where we stand ready to make our names. Ooh I can't wait to go and find my destiny. Grammy said I would know what it looked like when I saw it. I wonder if it will look like a puppy. Or maybe a kitten, ooh or a pony. I like ponies." The smile on his face seems near to split it in half at the thought of a pony. He could almost hear the neigh of his very own pony.
He smiled warmly again at his new traveling companions."I am glad to have found you all, we are going to be legends together. This is going to be amazing fun working together. Just you wait and see." He turns back again staring at the castle.
"It's only a model," Fester says snidely.
Drysten starts bouncing from one foot to the other in excitement. Alright, let's go! He wavers for a second. Do you think we have to knock?
dot
Grubyub drops his pack on the ground next to where Sparkly the raccoon sits back on his haunches staring up. He plants his horseychop-chop in the ground and sniffs at the crisp, clean air. Not quite satisfied, Grub then casts a floppy ear to the gentle breeze to get an idea of what may lay ahead.
"Bah!, Grubyub no hear nothing with brain squeezing birds squawking!!"
Grinding his jaw he whips his bow out and launches an arrow at the trees from where he things the birds are singing.
*squawk! squawk! squawk!* Silence. Grub nods with satisfaction, not a thought in the world that he just lost an arrow. He looks at the low-slung wood building and points. "Grub go check, you clob-hoppers stay quiet."
Grub stows away his bow and grabs up his horseychop-chop and moves silently towards the low building with the thatch roof. He slinks thru the tall grass.
Once near the house, Grub will listen and look.
As Grub departs, Sparkly dives into his unattended pack and can be heard nibbling on bits of dried food. His bandit-masked face emerges after a moment, his paws clutching a shiny button.
"Knock, shmock. I'm sure that we're expected,", Fester replies, moving down the path towards the drawbridge.
Darius Quint follows along to the castle, not paying attention as the goblin strays to investigate the cabin.
"Of course they're not expecting us, you fool. It's not a dungeon if they just open the door for you."
Drysten follows the two to the castle door. Whatever they are expecting; I highly doubt we fit the description.
"So, two men have just escaped from the asylum and are on the run. One of them has a bullseye lantern and they are judging the distance between the asylum wall and a nearby city wall. 'Too far to jump,' says the first. 'No problem,' says the second. 'I'll shine the light across and you can just walk on the beam. Once you're across, I'll toss you the light and then you can do the same for me.'"
"The first man thinks for a moment, then says, 'Are you mad? How do I know that I won't get halfway across and you'll shutter the lantern?'"
"Geddit?" Fester prompts his companions. "The first man is worried that he'll get halfway across and the second will shutter the lantern, breaking the beam of light and causing him to fall."
Grub quietly growls to himself as the group stomps up the path towards the castle. His little hands grip the haft of his chopper, squeezing and turning like it's a neck. Deep within the burning furnace of his tiny goblin heart, he hopes they trip on something in the road and fall flat on their faces.
Grubyub only want new friends be safe, they ignore this wood house, think me foolish. He sneers a bit, wondering if he should just wrap on the door to the wooden house and run to hide around the corner. Maybe alert whatever beasty is hiding inside that breakfast is served.
Tiny hands on the haft of his weapon grip a bit tighter, but Grub sighs and lets it go, relaxing his hold. No, Grub not like others. Grub no betray friends, even if they treat him like rat...
Instead, he continues to snoop about the wooden house.
"Yes, I did get it. It was almost funny until you felt the need to explain it. For one purporting to be a jester, it doesn't seem to me like you can tell a joke very well." Darius sneers.
"Well, you looked like it was confusing you a little, so I thought I would help out," the gnome replies, without missing a beat.
"You had better watch your mouth, gnome. I don't take well to implied insults."
"How shuttering of the light break the beam? Light can't break wood, unless you a wizard. Ooh was the madman a wizard? I wanted to be a wizard, but Grammy said I wasn't smart enough to rember all them spells. It OK though, I like being a fighter. I am really good at it." Duncan beams a smile at the group, just happy to be included in a conversation somehow.
LeGrande stands halfway between the castle and the house, and watches both to see which way he needs to go. He has given up on sneaking up on anything with this crowd, so will simply wait, and choose his direction when something happens.
Perception
As Grubyub approaches the lone building, he can tell it's hardly a proper house at all. It's a long and wide structure, and the construction would definitely take to fire like a duck to water, or a pig to slop, or a goblin to a building that needs burning. Other evidence that this house is improper is the fact that the stink of horses comes from it. I mean, what fools keep horses in their living rooms?
As the rest of you approach the drawbridge, you note that the portcullis currently stands closed. There's little to no noise coming from inside, which is a bit unusual, but hardly as unusual as the man sitting inside a wooden shack just outside the castle gates. He's an old fellow, with a rather cantankerous look upon his face. He wears the livery of Castle Greyhawk, and wears a small placard about his neck that reads Murai. At the moment, he's taking a good hard look at the inside of his eyelids, and there's a bit of drool coming out of the corner of his mouth. A sound not unlike what you imagine sawing Yggdrasil in half would sound like issues from him. Which is to say he snores. Loudly.
"Hmm little old man seems to be asleep. Should we wake him?" Without waiting for much of an answer to this question, Duncan strides boldly up to the sleeping man in the shack. He places both hands on the mans shoulders and begins to shake him slightly."Wake up mister, we gots questions." Duncan tries to smile at the man as he shakes him awake.If I smile, he will know I am not trying to hurt him. Then maybe he give me candy like granny used to.
"Stop! You fool! Don't do th- Ugh."
Darius's palm comes to slap noisily against his forehead as Duncan goes and awakens what is obviously a guard.
"Idiot! We could have snuck by unseen and taken the place by surprise," Darius grumbles under his breath.
Oohh how he hated horses!! He looked around, his little body clinging to the side of the horsey house. Grub peered around the corner and saw that the group had moved on to the opening of the big castle place. There was another longshanks in a small wood box snoring away. Grub chuckled softly to himself...
"Grubyub sees a chance
While their backs be turned
He'll make the horsies dance
As they chomp and chomp and burn..."
His hand strayed to his pack...then his red eyes shot open as he looked back to the trail where he'd dumped his pack.
"Праклён! Grub агнём палачкі ўніз у ўпакоўцы!"
With a grind of the teeth he grabbed up his horseychopper and charged back to the trail, shewing away Sparkly when he noted that the raccoon's tail was all he could see as it was sticking out of the pack.
"Sparkly, leave Grub's pack alone!"
The raccoon chitters in protest and steals two more buttons it found and dances out of reach of the goblin.
Grub looks back to the horsey house, his hand around his fire rocks...but then he spots that his new friends are about to talk to the old, boxed human by the gates. He clinches his jaw, a small growl of frustration escaping his throat when he looks back to the horsey house.
"Oohh, I want to burn it up! Horsies make good eats for Grub's friends!"
But he didn't want to miss out on any of the big famousness going on at the gate. Maybe they get treasure from old box human? Big Lunk looked like he was about to choke him good...
Grub slips his pack on his shoulders, grabs his chopper and beats feet for the group. He signals for Sparkly to follow... "Come Sparkly, we watch Lunk break old box man neck, then see if he have famous coin, yes?"
"I ain't sleepin', jus' restin' my eyes," the man mumbles as Duncan shakes him to consciousness. He blinks as he takes in his surroundings, then locks eyes with the man mountain in front of him.
"" He frantically tries to disentangle himself from the larger man, reaching for a whistle near his seat.
Seeing the man reach for the whistle, Darius attempts to reach in and snag the whistle first.
Whistle in hand, Darius cracks a smile to the guard.
"Now, now. Not so fast, my good man. We mean no harm, and he's not a giant. Merely a big... hefty... freak of some sort, I guess. I'm afraid I can't allow you to sound the alarm. You're the guard of this here castle of Greyhawk, aren't you? I must say, that uniform suits you impeccably. Might this humble group of adventurers perhaps request simple passage? We have heard much about this place, and we would merely like to partake in the sights of the impressive architecture that no doubs lurks within."
"Look, as a show of good faith, we'll even share a good joke with you. There were these two goblins, see? They were sitting in the middle of a field in a boat trying to catch some fish for dinner. Two other goblins come walking along a nearby road. One of the newcomers looks to the other and says, 'Should we tells 'em they ain't going to catch nothin' here?' The other one says, 'Maybe, but neither of us can swim!'"
Grub chuckles to himself as Sparkly trots up to the goblin's side and rests back on his haunches, chewing at one of the shiny buttons now in his possession.
"Good joke, Festerjester..." He snickers. "Дурныя людзі!"
He leans on his chopper and smiles broadly, waiting with anticipation for Lunk to squeeze the boxman's neck.
Grubyub's anticipation goes unfulfilled. The old man's panic increases momentarily as Darius snatches the signal whistle. "" However, his attention is diverted by Fester's impromptu comedy routine, and he calms down after a few moments.
"Wait...you ain't monsters. You couldn't be...adventurers, are ye?" There's a reverence in his voice that bespeaks how awestruck he is by meeting honest-to-goodness heroes - or, at least, you six.
Drysten beams! Not just any adventurers, you should see the tree!
Legrande shuffles closer, glad that everyone is all in one place Well glad is a relative term :-), and tries to get a peak in closer to the castle as the others talk to the guard.
"Why yes, I am an adventurer. Only the very best, at that, thank you for noticing,"
Darius takes a bow, and then, as he stands back up, produces a comb out of an inside pocket of his coat and adjusts his hair.
"You take that back mister. You hurt my feelings. I not an ogre. You just mean." Duncan has yet to let go of the poor man, but he has stopped the shaking for now.
"Ah, what a ballad this will make! The story of the handsome and clever gnome, the grumpy human, the brave ogre, the wily goblin, and the...uh..." He stops and stares hard at Legrande. "What are you, anyway?"
Grub clasps his little hands together in delight and chitters with more anticipation. The disappointment earlier was about to get fixed. Next to him Sparkly mimicked his master, clasping his paws together.
"Squeeze good Link!"
"Ah, what a ballad this will make! The story of the handsome and clever gnome, the grumpy human, the brave ogre, the wily goblin, and the...uh..." He stops and stares hard at Legrande. "What are you, anyway?"
"I am one of the proud and noble race known as Grippli". "When is this handsome and clever gnome arriving, so we can begin our adventure". Legrande, then resumes looking around.
Drysten turns back from talking to the man. Wait, I thought I was the handsome and clever gnome. Unless he meant gnomes plural, in which case I want to be the clever one.
"Pardon me? Grumpy? You foolish jester! If you dare sing about me in any but the best of terms, I'll make sure you regret it sorely. I am a very cheerful person, you will know. I merely expect only be best out of my entourage."
"Oops!" Fester says, somewhat sheepishly. "I forgot our quiet, but certainly no less important, halfling cleric!" With that, he slips inside the door in the confusion.
"Of course you best,' Grub comments to the smaller human Darius with all honesty. "You best dressed," The goblin points to the fine clothing he's wearing. "Nicest clothes Grubyub see yet!"
He rocks back and forth on his heels with anxious energy. Why they talk this way? Why we not kill boxman and move on? All talky talky, Grub could be burning stinky horsey house and laughing!
Grub looks back to the horsey house with a deep longing. He sighs and whispers his singsong...his soft tone is mournful and despondent.
"Grubyub saw his chance
While their backs being turned
He make the horsies dance
As they chomp and chomp and burn..."
The goblin feels a tugging at his breeches and he looks down to see Sparkly gnawing at them, but his eyes peering towards the entrance to the castle. Grubyub follows the raccoon's gaze and an impish grin splits the creature's mottled-green face.
Oooo, Grubyub go with Festerjester!! Leave Fancypants to comb hair with others!! He looks sorrowfully at where Lunk is still gripping the boxman guard. Oh, but Grub miss good neck twisting!
After a moment of consideration, Grub figures largely that if you've seen one good neck twisting, you've seen them all. And he's seen quite a few in his short life. Actually, there was one particularly artful one when a human strayed to close to Bip the Gnoll's cage at the circus...
Grub contents himself with that memory and nods to Sparkly that they are departing. Then he freezes. "Drat!" he says out loud when he notes that the portcullis is still down. They'd have to squeeze the boxman guard's neck to get it open.
Spinning on his heels, he returned to stand near the giant human. "Squeeze him, Lunk. We need door be open! Squeeze him for bad-naming you and let's go!"
"Ack! Who put these iron bars in my way?" Frustrated, he tries squeezing between the bars.
When that fails, he slips off his heavy backpack and tries again.
Still meeting with failure, the gnome puts his pack back on and stops to think for a moment.
The old man's eyes widen again as Duncan's firm grip holds him tight. "Yes, yes, whatever you say, Mr. Not-an-ogre! I didn't mean nothing by it, honest! No need to be squeezing my head off, I like it right where it is!"
He looks around as he hears a squeaky voice mention something about opening the castle gate. "Oh, of course, adventurers! The gate is down, due to the recent attacks. But your arrival will brighten everyone's spirits, I just know it! Now, do you have your tickets?"
Darius appears confused for a moment at the mention of tickets, but that confusion soon turns into a grin and a wink at his companions.
"We've already handed you our tickets, you scoundrel! What are you trying to pull on us!" Darius sneers at the man and places a hand on the pommel of his rapier. "You will let us in this instant!"
Grub shrugs, drops his pack and hefts his horsey chopper, all thoughts of neck squeezing and horsey house burning out the window in light of the potential to slice a throat. The goblin shakes his weapon menacingly. "Yeah, what you pull boxman guard sound drill? We give you some cuts you don't let us in!"
(+2 vs Humans)
If anything, he's bluffing about the tickets, not so much his desire to give the old man a good slicing. But the difference between the two goals gets lost in the little goblin's mind as he finds a new respect for Fancypants. Nice clothes or no, anyone was good in Grub's book (...if he could read that is...) who liked a good slicing.
Sparkly looks up and sees that Grub is once again distracted and proceeds to start digging in the goblin's backpack.
"Hey, you already gave him my ticket. That was nice of you, you guys are good." Duncan turns to the erstwhile guard still in his grip." Why you not let us in? They already give you tickets and you holding us up." Duncan begins to lift the little man up, looking him square in the eye."I gonna tell grammy you being mean, then you see. Beory doesn't like people being mean to her people. You supposed to be good." Duncan stares intently at the little old man, trying to decide if this was a bad man or not.Would they put a bad man in charge of entrance? How would I get to my destiny if this was a bad man?
"Maybe they need tickets," Fester says boldly, "But surely you can tell that a gnome of my talent and caliber is on the staff!"
The aged man looks a bit confused for a moment. "Coulda sworn you hadn't paid..." he starts, but his confusion gives way to fear again as Duncan effortlessly lifts him. "No, wait, you're right, you're right! Just put me down, and I'll crank open the gate!"
Sparkly squeaks in triumph as he withdraws a battered - yet polished - tin cup, and proceeds to wear it as a funny sort of hat.