Grubyub scratches at himself, not entirely satisfied. After a moment he shrugs. "Grub no like deal, better to gold first. I say we go, but if this doesn't pay up, Grubyub come back and stick Zamzam man."
"Ah, a deal after my own heart. This better pay up as well as you claim it will, good sir. I've got an entire city waiting for me to bring back wealth."
He doesn't need to know it's all for my manor.
Drysten sighs. I bet the Merc Guild doesn't have to deal with this kind of stuff.
I accept as well. Now where is the rest of the treasure in this place?
"Splendid, splendid!", Zando says, shaking your hands on the deal you've worked out. "Since you're doing a favor for me, I'll even let you bunk here for the night. I suspect you're wanting a night's rest, and since you rescued me from becoming my cretin's next meal, I'll gladly open up some space for you. Even here, though you should be careful about the floor. There's a hole in the corner. Not sure where it goes, other than down."
"Now, there's just the matter of signing the appropriate documents!" Zando opens one of the drawers on his desk and begins pulling out several official looking documents with the royal seal of Castle Greyhawk and tiny lettering with such words as "whereas," "non-transferable" and "limited liability."
"And there's not a whole lot of treasure, I'm sorry to say. This place was pretty empty when I found it. I thought about mapping the place and turning it in for some extra venture capital, but I decided I didn't want that on the Castle's registrar until I was ready to start paying taxes."
Once you have signed everything, Zando shakes each of your hands. "Well, you'd better get to it, partners. These monsters aren't going to round themselves back up!"
"Well then, we may as well get started," Darius declares, as the party heads out. "Hm. What do you say we start out with that bear over there? Seems like as good a place as any."
Duncan follows behind Darius, a pleased look beaming from ear to ear.
"Yes, we should bear left," Fester says, laughing at his own joke.
Grub holds his middle as he chuckles at Festerjester's joke. But he nods agreement, grabs up his weapons, and motions sparkly to follow.
The passage north is the same natural passageway you've come to expect, though Zando has found relatively flat spots to advertise exhibits and merchandise - "Slay Your Hunger! Try a Monsterburger*! *does not contain any actual monster", reads one. "Coming This Winter - Monsters on Ice!", proclaims another. The passage continues for about fifty feet, where it meets up with another tunnel heading to the west, though the northern passage continues on for a time from here.
As you approach this intersection, a sextet of melon-headed creatures wander from the western passage. They startle as they notice you, and begin reaching for their crudely made weaponry. "Garasapakšstilbiem!", one calls out, looking to a second for guidance. "Ja man gut tos Ginters?"
The second pulls his dogslicer, and levels it at the group. "
Jā jā! Samazināt tos atvērt, sagraut savus kaulus!" The six screech high pitched war cries and stumble over each other to get at your group.
"Long shanks! Should me gut them, Gunter?"
"Yes yes! Cut them open, smash their bones!"
LeGrande follows along meekly, limping a bit as he goes, and holding his sore shoulder, when the Goblins come streaking in.
Initiative.
LeGrande will go full defensive. (AC19)
"Grubyub, you can talk with them. What are they saying?" Darius asks, drawing his rapier. "Put your weapons away, fiends, or I shall have to trounce you!
Quick as a wink, Fester assumes a combat-ready stance. "Hah!" he says, his mouth continuing to move after the words have been spoken (in the manner of a poorly-dubbed Japanese movie). "You should have run while you had the chance! Now, you will all die!" He raises his arms into a martial arts pose and begins drawing in breath while intoning a low droning noise.
"They want guts, we fight, Fancypants!" the little goblin shouts. "We spills their guts first!!"
He draws back his bow, sliding up next to the big man. He signals Sparkly to do the same. "You keep bad guys away from Grubyub, okay Lunk?"
"Teraz môžete byť zničený! Môžete bojovať Grubyub Sloppybreach a jeho vyškolení Dlháň!"
"Sounds good to me!"
"K" Duncan stares at the little goblins.
"Spíš Grubyub Mŕtvychnohavice! Plaziť a lízať svoje nohy, a mohli by sme ušetriť svoj život raz zabijeme vaše dlhéstopky!"
"More like Grubyub Deadbreech! Grovel and lick our feet, and we might spare your life once we kill your longshanks![/b]"
"Aaaaaaaaa!!!!!!" Grub shouts his war cry and fires an arrow at the leader. (See shot stats above) "Veľké reláciu jesť pečeň"
The goblins charge forward, their dogslicers flashing in the torchlight. One leaps on Duncan, while another slashes at Grubyub. The one that ordered the charge directs the remaining to pull their shortbows and fire into the back ranks. This flurry of attacks has the sort of devastating power goblins are well known to possess.
Sparkly nods in agreement as Grubyub closes ranks with Duncan, and mimes pulling a bow and firing as his master shoots an arrow into the goblin nearest him. It catches him in the side, eliciting a howl of pain. All the while, LeGrande cowers, still smarting from the fight with Burt & Jimmy.
Grubyub flies into a rage, dropping his bow and calling out to Sparkly to attack his foe as he leaps forward to bite his evil counterpart he'd just finished shooting. "Sparkly! Chomp him good!"
---------------
Notes
N Tiny animal
Init +2; Perception +3
Senses low-light vision, scent
DEFENSE
AC 15, touch 14, flat-footed 13
(+2 Dex, +1natural, +2 size)
HP 4
Fort +2, Ref +4, Will +3
Speed 20 ft., climb 20 ft.
Melee bite +4 (1d3-1)
Space 2-1/2 ft.; Reach 0 ft.
STATISTICS
Str 8, Dex 15, Con 11, Int 2, Wis 16, Cha 5
Base Atk +0; CMB +0; CMD 9 (13 vs. trip)
Feats Weapon Finesse
Skills Climb +7, Sleight of Hand +3
______________________________.............___________
............................................Party....Goblins
______________________________________________________
LeGrande will continue to try and stay full defensive, until he's got a few more HP, or some bombs back.
Darius watches patiently for a moment to strike, rapier in hand and dagger ready to spring out at a moment's notice.
Step into melee and cleave.
Cleaving finish if one is brought to 0 or below.
|
Fester begins singing a ballad, surprisingly on key and in tune. It is meant to inspire courage in his companions (+1 morale bonus to some saves, attack, and damage).
"The battle before us was bravely fought, our courage carried the day,
And when the battle was well and done, t'was we who won the fray."
Duncan swings his broad-bladed sword, sweeping it across the hall in front of him. The goblins fall like wheat at harvest. The four goblins shriek in terror as their compatriots fall.
"Behold, vermin!" Darius declares as he steps forth, rapier in hand, and thrusts at the first goblin in front of him. "Solange's Feint!"
Solange's feint turns out to be announcing a feint when there is none, and Darius strikes directly at the goblin before him.
After jumping up and down complaining to the others that he wasn't able to get in on the action, and equipping his shield just in case, Dristen sees his opening and surges through, bringing madness to the goblin.
Darius and Dristen leap into the hole made by Duncan's wide sweep of his blade. Clearly, they have seen Solange's Feint before, as Darius' strike is a bit wide of its mark. As for Drysten, he reconsiders laying a hand upon the goblin when he sees the filth it's covered in. No more so than Grubyub, but just enough for it to hop out of the way of the halfling's touch.
The two goblins that now face Darius and Drysten drop their bows and pull their dogslicers as well, screeching their shrill voices and slashing wildly at the pair.
The remaining pair continue to fire arrows at the group. One targets Duncan, as he's clearly a threat, while the other fires at Fester, a hateful scowl upon his elongated face.
Grub howls in victory as Duncan cleaves through the front line of goblins. He pulls his horseychopper and goes to work, swinging away past the front line of his friends.
Grubyub slashes at the goblins in the front, attempting to hack into them with his horsechopper. Attacking the goblin front line proves difficult with Darius and Drysten blocking the way, though, and Grubyub hits nothing but air.
Dotting for demise. Grubyub Sloppybreach leaps into the fray one last time, meeting his end upon the tarnished and battered blades of those among whom he'd once counted himself a part.
In desperation, LeGrande decides to ingest all of his remaining regents, and components at once. The others watch in amazement as his body swells in size, then a strange purple fur breaks out all over his body, then a thick orange fog begins rolling from his ears, mouth, nose, and all other orifices. As he begins to shake and tremble, and emit a sound like a hyper teakettle, he then explodes into a bloody, and putrid rain of Grippli confetti.
Seeing the madness unfold, Darius... runs away like the coward that he is.
Fester produces a cane (seemingly from nowhere) and a straw hat and begins a tap-dance routine, ending up off screen. Blackness closes in from the edges of the screen into a small circle of light from which Fester emerges, saying, "Th-th-th-that's all, folks!"