Grubyub slashes at the goblins in the front, attempting to hack into them with his horsechopper. Attacking the goblin front line proves difficult with Darius and Drysten blocking the way, though, and Grubyub hits nothing but air.
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Darius and Dristen leap into the hole made by Duncan's wide sweep of his blade. Clearly, they have seen Solange's Feint before, as Darius' strike is a bit wide of its mark. As for Drysten, he reconsiders laying a hand upon the goblin when he sees the filth it's covered in. No more so than Grubyub, but just enough for it to hop out of the way of the halfling's touch. The two goblins that now face Darius and Drysten drop their bows and pull their dogslicers as well, screeching their shrill voices and slashing wildly at the pair.
The remaining pair continue to fire arrows at the group. One targets Duncan, as he's clearly a threat, while the other fires at Fester, a hateful scowl upon his elongated face.
Duncan swings his broad-bladed sword, sweeping it across the hall in front of him. The goblins fall like wheat at harvest. The four goblins shriek in terror as their compatriots fall.
______________________________.............___________ ............................................Party....Goblins ______________________________________________________
The goblins charge forward, their dogslicers flashing in the torchlight. One leaps on Duncan, while another slashes at Grubyub. The one that ordered the charge directs the remaining to pull their shortbows and fire into the back ranks. This flurry of attacks has the sort of devastating power goblins are well known to possess.
Sparkly nods in agreement as Grubyub closes ranks with Duncan, and mimes pulling a bow and firing as his master shoots an arrow into the goblin nearest him. It catches him in the side, eliciting a howl of pain. All the while, LeGrande cowers, still smarting from the fight with Burt & Jimmy.
Yeah, I figured Duncan was up front.
Happy New Year, everyone! Game related question: could I get a marching order? Assume 10' wide corridors.
"Spíš Grubyub Mŕtvychnohavice! Plaziť a lízať svoje nohy, a mohli by sme ušetriť svoj život raz zabijeme vaše dlhéstopky!" Goblin: "More like Grubyub Deadbreech! Grovel and lick our feet, and we might spare your life once we kill your longshanks![/b]"
The passage north is the same natural passageway you've come to expect, though Zando has found relatively flat spots to advertise exhibits and merchandise - "Slay Your Hunger! Try a Monsterburger*! *does not contain any actual monster", reads one. "Coming This Winter - Monsters on Ice!", proclaims another. The passage continues for about fifty feet, where it meets up with another tunnel heading to the west, though the northern passage continues on for a time from here. As you approach this intersection, a sextet of melon-headed creatures wander from the western passage. They startle as they notice you, and begin reaching for their crudely made weaponry. "Garasapakšstilbiem!", one calls out, looking to a second for guidance. "Ja man gut tos Ginters?" The second pulls his dogslicer, and levels it at the group. "
Goblin: "Long shanks! Should me gut them, Gunter?" "Yes yes! Cut them open, smash their bones!"
Once you have signed everything, Zando shakes each of your hands. "Well, you'd better get to it, partners. These monsters aren't going to round themselves back up!"
"Splendid, splendid!", Zando says, shaking your hands on the deal you've worked out. "Since you're doing a favor for me, I'll even let you bunk here for the night. I suspect you're wanting a night's rest, and since you rescued me from becoming my cretin's next meal, I'll gladly open up some space for you. Even here, though you should be careful about the floor. There's a hole in the corner. Not sure where it goes, other than down." "Now, there's just the matter of signing the appropriate documents!" Zando opens one of the drawers on his desk and begins pulling out several official looking documents with the royal seal of Castle Greyhawk and tiny lettering with such words as "whereas," "non-transferable" and "limited liability." "And there's not a whole lot of treasure, I'm sorry to say. This place was pretty empty when I found it. I thought about mapping the place and turning it in for some extra venture capital, but I decided I didn't want that on the Castle's registrar until I was ready to start paying taxes."
Everyone still around? Or did we take a break for the holidays?
"Fine, fine, five isn't good enough, fine," Zando says, waving a hand dismissively. "Let's call it ten. And while I can't do anything about paying you up front, I did hear tell that the Herzog himself is paying good coin for maps of the dungeons beneath Castle Greyhawk. I believe it's about a thousand gold, but it needs to be complete. Helping me with my problem helps you with yours, my darling carbuncles. So, what do you say: do we have a deal?"
"What makes me so great, you ask? Why, I am a wizard without compare! A thaumaturgist the likes of which has rarely been seen before and shall not be seen again! And on top of that, I possess a keen business acumen unparalleled! If you'll follow me to my office, I'll be glad to discuss a suitable reward for you all." He leads you to the southeastern section of the herbivore exhibit, and opens up a concealed door. Beyond this is a tunnel that snakes back and forth before opening up into a natural cavern. Stalagmites and stalactites circle the perimeter of the room, but in the center all such obstructions have been cleared. Situated at one end of the clearing is a finely polished mahogany desk, behind which sits a blue plush chair. A set of bookshelves stand against the far wall and covering the floor is an exquisite silver-threaded rug. As you step across the rug, you hear the hollow sound of wooden planking beneath it. Zando has a seat in the plush chair, clearly relaxing for the first time in awhile. "Have a seat, my little axebeaks, have a seat so we can talk shop. You see, the Castle's been having a bit of a monster problem recently. All sorts of unusual beasts of all shapes, sizes and colors have been attacking. Everything from one-legged asthmatic albino kobolds to shadowy flying fire-breathing krakens. There's almost no rhyme or reason to it. But I noticed that many of the weaker and more pathetic monsters have all been coming from this area. I tracked it down to the opening you undoubtedly used in the Union, and found this area. And then, it hit me![/b]" He stands, suddenly more animate as he begins describing his plan. "A bit of paint here, some beautifully illustrated posters there, some cages installed in several places, and this whole area could become..." He says this title louder, sweeping his hand across the empty air as though he were trying to conjure it out of nothingness. "That was about a month ago. I've been working around the clock, almost nonstop, but the day before I was going to open the place to the public, Burt and Jimmy, my cretin, broke free of his cage, captured me and my staff, threw us into a cage and released all of the other exhibits! I would have fought back, but all of the time I would normally have spent preparing my spells I had put towards getting the Emporium together." He slumps back in the chair. "The only one of us that was able to escape was Culum. After Burt and Jimmy ate my herbivore exhibit, he slipped through the bars and made his way to the surface to find someone to rescue us. And that, my rays of sunshine, is where you came in. Now, I am not the sort of man who would turn a blind eye to his saviors, but all of my money is currently tied up in getting the Emporium up and running, and that can't happen as long as all of my exhibits are running amok, so I'll make you a deal. If you can round them all up and put them back in their cages, I'll give you, let's say, 5% of the first year's gross. I'd prefer as unharmed as possible, but I did find a secret room where these critters just appear out of thin air, from time to time. What do you say?"
"That were him talking, mister," Culum says to Duncan as he scampers down from the top of the balcony to the floor. "Not me." Darius finds the cage bound by a stout length of cord, which he easily cuts with a dagger. The door opens, and the pudgy man quickly leaves the confines of the cage. He's a stumpy sort, with thick jowls and a red bulbous nose. "Thank you very much, my good man, you've saved me from being eaten by my own cretin, arising from a set of circumstances so unlikely that it would strain the very ranges of credulity itself." He tips his cap to you, a genuine smile upon his face. "You have the thanks of Zando the Great himself." He juts his chin up in pride, in apparent ignorance of your lack of recognition to his name. Zando is so wrapped up with his own importance that he doesn't even notice Culum approaching. He walks straight up to Zando and tugs on the man's blue sleeve. "That's fifteen silver you owe me for rescuing you," he says. All traces of fear and uncertainty are gone. It's almost like looking at a different person. "Go away, kid, the grownups are talking," Zando says without looking at him, trying to shove him away. "I don't think so, pops," Culum replies, standing his ground. "You'd be giant chow if I hadn't brought these folk to come rescue you. I want my fifteen silver!" "Fine, fine, fifteen silver, fine," Zando replies, turning his attention to Culum at last, and fumbling for his coin purse. He withdraws a handful of coins and begins handing them to the boy. "One, two, three, five, six, seven, eight, ten, eleven, twelve, thirteen, fifteen. Now get away from me, kid, you're bothering me."
Indeed, Lagrande remains still regardless of the amount of booze Grubyub douses him with, though Sparkly does his best to keep the grippli clean. In a short amount of time, the raccoon is wobbling back and forth on his feet, but continues to look expectantly at his goblin sidekick. "Don't mind me, I'll just stay here waiting for you to rescue me," says the rotund man in blue robes from within the cage. His voice has a strange rise and fall to the cadences within the sentence. He spent the majority of the fight cowering away from the violence, but now that you have triumphed over the giant, he waits impatiently at the closed gate.
I forget, when is Canadian Thanksgiving, Darius? Is it earlier or later than ours?
Duncan rises, wincing as he prepares to receive a crushing blow from the two-headed giant. It never comes. Both Burt and Jimmy seem in a daze from Drysten's enchantment, and prevents him from taking advantage of the opening Duncan gave him. The strike cuts deep into BJ's leg, followed swiftly by a pair of flashing blades that pierce BJ's side. Both heads turn to stare unblinkingly towards Duncan and Darius, their mouths moving silently, trying to find the words to question why they have done this. At last, Burt finds the words that escape Jimmy. With his dying breath, he asks, pitifully, "" The massive creature then slumps to the floor, collapsing with a loud meaty crash.
Drysten begins chanting, attracting Burt's attention. "", he asks. "" The end of the giant's sentence devolves into deep gibberish as the charm takes root in his mind.
Drysten lands directly in between Burt and Jimmy's heads, and the pair turn to look at him. "" Lagrande doesn't throw the javelin so much as drop it on the giant, which has about the effect you'd figure that would. "", Jimmy shouts. Drysten can smell the giant's breath, hot and putrid, with large globules of spittle. ""
Darius and Duncan drop from the balcony to either side of BJ, their blades slashing out as they fall. Neither man is able to cut through the giant's thick hide. Darius rolls to his feet, while Duncan lands on a more padded portion of his body . Grubyub fires off a second shot at BJ, which strikes the massive creature again, causing the giant to wobble slightly from the many wounds upon his body.
BJ looks a bit confused at Fester's quip. "" he says at last, after a few seconds thought.
The flask of incendiary liquid explodes as it splashes on Burt and Jimmy again, burning his flesh further. Burt and Jimmy advance, and Burt suddenly roars in pain. "[bigger]YARRRGH! They keep usin' th' fire, Jimmy! We gonna smash them flat now, yeah?" "[bigger]You bet yer soiled loincloth we are, Burt!" The massive two-headed giant heads directly towards the balcony, and stands beneath it, looking up at you with all four eyes, swinging his club wide and aiming for the crude goblin upon the balcony.
Another of Grubyub's arrows flies towards BJ, and it strikes him in Jimmy's leg. "", Jimmy says quickly. "" Burt looks back to his other head. ""
"", Jimmy says, a scowl upon his face. "" Drysten's blade flies the distance and lands in B&J's foot. Burt looks to Jimmy with fury, completely oblivious to Grubyub's arrow and chittering. ""
Jimmy blinks through confused and boysenberry stained eyes. "" ""
After a few moments of hysterical laughter (not to mention another lobbed firebomb and a dagger that has hit its mark), Burt wipes away the tears from his eyes. "" He stands, and both heads roar a challenge in stereo.
A second arrow flies towards Burt and Jimmy, and buries itself in his formidable gut. Burt howls in pain. "", he cries, shaking his scorched arm. "" "" Burt and Jimmy lumber towards your perch, and as he gets close, Fester cackles and leaps up onto the railing next to Grubyub. "HA! Sneak attack, wiseguy!", he cries, throwing a tart at Jimmy's face, splattering Jimmy with a sticky fruit filling. "The classics are the best! Ha-cha!"
Burt and Jimmy stop, and Burt turns to regard Jimmy's new confection-laden appearance. He snorts, then snickers, and soon enters into a full belly laugh. "", Jimmy replies, but the embarrassed grin on his face betrays any fury he holds. He soon falls to the ground, laughing uncontrollably, pounding the ground with meaty fists.
Perhaps due to his vigorous, um, dancing, Grubyub's shot falls wide of its mark. Sparkly chitters at the two-headed creature, shaking his tiny fist at him. Burt and Jimmy stand, and shake their mighty fists at the five of you. "", says Burt. "", Jimmy inquires. "", Burt replies. He collects a pair of spiked clubs from nearby, and a pair of cruel grins break out on his faces. Lagrande whips up an incendiary and lobs it towards Burt and Jimmy. It shatters against them, and scorches him. His flesh smoulders and blackens, but the two-headed giant seems not to have noticed. Darius decides to bide his time and wait for an opportune moment to strike. Or run. Whichever works out best.
The arrow flies across the chamber, striking the two-headed giant in the thick of the back. A full five seconds pass before one of the giant's heads suddenly snaps upright. "", it bellows in a guttural voice. "" The second head looks at the first with a dumb-founded expression. "" "", the first head (or Jimmy, if you prefer) replies. "" Both heads turn to look at the group, and focus in on Grubyub and Sparkly's lewd dance, their ugly faces darkening. "", Burt yells, followed quickly by Jimmy. "" Burt and Jimmy clamber clumsily to their feet, twin snarls upon their faces.
Happy Silver Anniversary, Fester! Here's to many more!
You continue on down the northern corridor, which ends abruptly in a balcony. Fifteen feet below is a large natural stone chamber. Reddish-purple stalagmites and stalactites cover the floor and ceiling, occasionally meeting to form huge, multicolored columns. Flowing through the center of the chamber is a swift, dark stream. On the far side is a gigantic two-headed giant. Scattered on the floor beside him are a variety of bones. Beyond the giant is a cage, within sits a dejected blue-robed figure. The air is heavy with the smell of burning flesh. Culum gasps suddenly and hides behind Duncan. "There he is," the young boy says, pointing cautiously towards the cage from behind the man-mountain. "There's me da." Fester peers over the railing to spy on the creature beyond. His nose barely makes it over, even when he's standing on his tiptoes. "Oooh, I think I know what that is!", he whispers. "It's..."
"...big! Almost (dare I say it?) Tremendous Proportions(TM)!"
Whatever you expected to find beyond the curtain, it was probably not this. The chamber is circular in construction. Dominating the center of the room is a 30 foot diameter steel bar cage, conical in shape, surrounded by a small moat. The door to the cage lies bent and twisted near the far wall, as if tossed there by whatever was once held within. On the floor of the cage lies the leg bone of some great beast, shattered on one end. The air in this chamber feels thick and smells of animal fur. There is a small bronze plaque on the side of the cage. The Plaque:
Gigantic Monster of Incredible Proportions(TM) The only other exit from this room is a tunnel that leads to the north. An arrow sign is hung just inside the tunnel's entrance. The Arrow Sign: Herbivore Exhibit This Way
You continue undaunted down the corridor. Signs on the wall seem to be evenly spaced as you head further west. Next Sign:
Only 300 More Feet to Terrible Monster of Gigantic Proportions(TM)! A Sign With a Stone Bench Underneath:
200 Feet to Terrible Monster of Gigantic Proportions(TM)! Last Chance To Rest! The Penultimate Sign:
Don't Turn Back Now! A Mere 100 Feet to Terribl Monster of Gigantic Proportions(TM)! At last, you reach the end of the tunnel. A black curtain cordons off the tunnel you have been traversing and the room beyond. A final sign is placed directly above the curtain.
The Sign Above the Curtain: Terrible Monster of Gigantic Proportions(TM) Beyond This Point! Enter IF YOU DARE!
You continue down the passageway, and soon you find another sign. Sign: Just 400 Feet to Terrible Monster of Gigantic Proportions(TM)!
You make your way west, and start traversing a long, wide natural corridor. Drysten's fox gives Sparkly a curious sniff, and jumps a bit away from the larcenous raccoon. Tracking is difficult here, as stone is a poor medium to read, and all Grubyub is able to note is that the floor slowly gradually slopes downward to the west. About a hundred feet down the passage is a sign posted on the wall. Sign: 500 Feet to Terrible Monster of Gigantic Proportions!
Darius digs around behind the counter and, sure enough, finds a hidden drawer under the bar. It's untrapped and unlocked, and finds a collection of silver and copper inside.
Yes, congratulations, Fester! Enjoy the parks! I'm not sure if WDW does it, but I know that the Haunted Mansion in Disneyland gets a Nightmare Before Christmas makeover every Halloween season. We demand a report!
Darius glances about, but doesn't find any sort of sign of the shopkeep anywhere. In fact, he suspects that nobody's been here in a few days, as the tomatoes and onions that Grubyub and Sparkly are snacking on have started to go off. Grubyub's rifles through the supplies in the cabinet, finding a number of untapped kegs of ale, several dozen mugs in three different sizes, twenty steak knives, thirty cloth napkins, three lanterns and fifteen flasks of oil. Culum timidly creeps into the hall behind you, staying close to Duncan. "Do you think my da will be alright, sir?"
By the time Grubyub catches up to his larcenous little companion, Sparkly has already leveraged one of the cabinets behind the bars open, and is chittering excitedly as several onions and tomatoes come rolling out. He has grabbed one of the tomatoes and is snacking on one as his goblin master approaches. He squeaks excitedly, and rolls an onion to Grubyub.
The Sign:
Adults - 3 Copper Children under 12 - Free Grubyub has no trouble giving chase to Sparkly, mostly because the passage can only go one direction. It opens into a large chamber with grey, fitted-stone walls and a finely-polished limestone floor. A few reddish-brown stalactites and stalagmites protrude from the ceiling and floor, attesting to the fact that this is a natural chamber. In the center of the room are four pinewood tables, each surrounded by five stools. Against the northern wall stands an elbow-high counter. Two beer taps are built into the counter, and a small stone fireplace is recessed into the wall behind the counter. There's another sign above the counter, this one larger. The Bigger Sign:
Ale: Pixie mug 10 copper Peasant mug 1 silver Jumbo mug 2 silver Monsterburger 1 silver
Three small passages lead out of the chamber to the north, east and south. An arrow painted at the entrance to the southern passage has a profile of a sea serpent emblazoned upon it. A similar arrow pointing toward the third passage, the one you just entered from, has an EXIT sign mounted above it. Other exists from the chamber include a wooden door set into the southern wall, and a large natural passage leading further to the west. A plaque is mounted beside the last passage. The Plaque:
This way to the tremendous monster of gigantic proportions! As he enters this large chamber, Sparkly immediately scrambles up the side of the counter and leaps into the back of the bar, scrounging around behind the counter, chittering to himself.
Once Fester is no longer standing on it, Grubyub has no trouble lifting the trapdoor. It opens to reveal a sturdy wooden staircase leading downward. Attached to the wall to either side of the staircase is a hand rail. Light pours up from the rough hewn stone passageways beneath, and you can see a small wooden guard house built into the southern wall, and an elbow-high shelf (just above eye-level for children, halflings and the like) just above the guard house. On the front of the guard house is a sign. Once the door is open, Sparkly darts down the stairs. He bolts past the guard house and down the passageway to the west.
Darius sees nothing in particularly strange or dangerous about the trapdoor. He doesn't even see any sort of latch keeping it closed.
The raccoon sniffs around the trapdoor, and scratches at the outline in the floor, trying to dig his hand into the space and lift the door. Grubyub's seen this before from Sparkly - his sniffer's found something!
"The name's Culum, sir," the boy replies meekly to Grubyub. "Culum McCreedy. And I might have taken some food from Miss Tucker, but that were to save me da. He was sick at the time, he was, and if he didn't have food in his belly he would have died, and that's the truth." Sense Motive DC 19:
Well, not so much. He's a good liar, but Culum's definitely lying. After a time, Culum leads you to a two-story shop. He opens the door, and leads you to an empty shopfront. A door behind the counter lies ajar, and a narrow staircase leads up to the second floor beyond. In the center of the floor is a trap door, which is bolted shut. "That it, sirs. That's where me poor ol' da went."
The boy looks to you as hope begins to spring into his eyes. "Really, sirs? You'll help me da? Oh, thank you, sirs! You all are a blessing from the Heavens, and that's the truth!" He stands and fishes the two coins from his cup, stowing them in the pocket of his ragged pants. "Just follow me, sirs, I'll lead the way." He reaches out to take Drysten's hand and begins to slowly lead you through the Union's winding passages. Perception DC 15: As you travel, you make your way past quite a few merchant stalls and pushcarts. As they catch sight of the boy, many of them narrow their eyes at him or clench their fists tightly. One pudgy apple seller actually goes so far to throw herself bodily over her apple basket as she spies the boy.
The coin sails into the tin cup, circling the side on the way down. "Fank you, sah! *sniffle* May th' gods bless ya!" His eyes glisten as he fishes the coin out of his cup. "Bless me soul, if that's no' a noble, may Ai be struck by lightnin'!" At Duncan's innocent question, the boy's face falls. His lower lip quivers for a moment before the tears begin to fall from his eyes. "It's me da. 'E's been lost in the dungeons under the castle for two day now. I can only assume the worst, sirs and frog. *choke*"
"Sounds like a plan to me!", the guard says cheerfully to Darius. "Enjoy your stay!" He waves to the party as the leave, and then dutifully goes about throwing away the juice boxes that Duncan drank. You make yourselves scarce from the guard headquarters, and soon find yourselves several streets away. As you turn a corner, you see a small red-haired boy, perhaps nine or ten years old, sitting with his back against the wall. His face is tear-streaked, with dark smudges covering his freckled cheeks. His hands are clutched around a small battered tin cup that contains a single copper coin. From his neck hangs a tattered sign with the word "Orphan" written on it. Upon seeing your group, the boy attempts to dry his eyes with the torn sleeve of his shirt, and smiles bravely at you. "*sniff* Copper for a new orphan?"
Finding the guard headquarters is as easy as following the signs. Within a matter of minutes, the group is soon reunited with Duncan at the headquarters. A rookie guard who has been assigned to watch over Duncan looks to the large man as the group approaches. "Okay, big guy, is this your Mister Sideburns you keep talking about?"
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