1001 explanations for the death of Aroden

[Potto]

160) Rod of Wonder accident - albeit a hilarious one

[The Mad Comrade]

Potto wrote:

160) Rod of Wonder accident - albeit a hilarious one

Aroden is secretly a colorful shrubbery somewhere? I can dig it.

[W E Ray]

For several years now I've been under the assumption that Aroden chose to commit ritual suicide on the day he was suppose to return -- in order to illustrate to mankind that they don't need to rely on him to create prophesy and direct them in his image.

[Edward the Necromancer]

161) In a bit if irony, Aroden (The God of Prophecy) was slain by a Chosen Champion who's destiny was to slay the God of Destiny.

[Edward the Necromancer]

162) Aroden got his hands on a Deck of Many Things, and decided to go through the entire deck.

[Tinalles]

163. Rovagug's seal was on the verge of breaking; he spent his life's energy to reinforce it.

164. Rovagug's seal is on the verge of breaking; Aroden has departed this Existence in order to prepare a new one.

165. Aroden knew that so long as he existed, humanity would depend on his guidance -- and thus never find their own true destiny. Thus, he laid down his life to force humanity to grow into what it must, in time, become.

166. The Starfall Doctrine was correct -- Aroden really did return to Golarion in 4606 AR. By virtue of forsaking his godhood and being reborn once more as a mere mortal, whose works over this past century shall prove foundational to the age of prosperity yet to come, even though it won't be recognized for many years yet.

167. Scrofula.

[Archpaladin Zousha]

No-one dies of scrofula! He had rights, he was a wizard! :P

168. He travelled through time and accidentally caused The Gap.

[SilvercatMoonpaw]

Archpaladin Zousha wrote:

168. He travelled through time and accidentally caused The Gap.

169. He deliberately traveled through time and caused the Gap. The fans didn't take it well.

[Edward the Necromancer]

170) Lets just say that Abadar doesn't like it when individuals use powers of prophecy to gamble at his casinos.

[Java Man]

171) Ydersius long term revenge plan for his decapitation finally panned out, targetted at the only person connected to Savith that was available.

[Sean Brinson]

172 - Aroden cast pit on himself, but forgot he had a handy haversack on.

[SilvercatMoonpaw]

173) Aroden never existed. He's a retcon-scapegoat the gods used to cover up a serious $#!+storm they caused approx 101 years ago.

[Set]

174) He travelled back in time to relive the glory days of Azlant, only to, through a comedy of errors, cause his great-grandmother to fall in love with him instead of his great-grandfather, whom he kinda/sorta killed in a duel over her affections... Oops.

Last words of Aroden;

A) "I drank what?"

B) "Does this taste funny to you?"

C) "A truck!"

D) "Hold my beer, this will be funny..."

E) "Who's the ***** with the spiders?"

[Phntm888]

175) Left his arcane bond in his other pants, then rolled a nat 1 on the concentration check to cast plane shift without it.

176) Thought it would be cool to appear in Cheliax looking like he stepped out of an 80's heavy metal album with lightning striking behind him, but then accidentally overdid it and created the Eye of Abendego. Embarrassed, he stopped answering his phone and went to hide in his private demiplane.

[Burgonet]

177. He stopped believing in Himself.

[ghettowedge]

178. Pugwampis

[The Raven Black]

179. Someone did not like a certain prophecy. They disrupted fate to avoid it. And to make sure it worked, they tested it by killing Aroden just before the day he was supposed to come back.

[SilvercatMoonpaw]

180) The Comfy Chair.

[Virellius]

181) Aroden IS Tar-Baphon. His fights against the lich were symbolic, internal fights against his worse nature. Arazni hates Aroden and TB because they are the same. She won't tell anyone, but she knows. It's why he didn't show up to the Shining Crusade, and why Arazni had to. He was the villain they sought to destroy.

[Edward the Necromancer]

182) Aroden isn't dead, his is just sleeping. He will wake up soon...

Any day now...

[SilvercatMoonpaw]

183) He's not dead. He was on his way, he sat down for a minute, and a cat got in his lap....

[theelcorspectre]

184) Murder. Gangland style execution. We'll never find his head.

185) Slipped in the tub.

[Archpaladin Zousha]

theelcorspectre wrote:

185) Slipped in the tub.

186) Toaster in the tub.

[SilvercatMoonpaw]

Archpaladin Zousha wrote:

theelcorspectre wrote:

185) Slipped in the tub.

186) Toaster in the tub.

187) Slipped on a toaster in the tub.

[Reduxist]

SilvercatMoonpaw wrote:

Archpaladin Zousha wrote:

theelcorspectre wrote:

185) Slipped in the tub.

186) Toaster in the tub.

187) Slipped on a toaster in the tub.

188) Slipped into a toaster.

Spoiler:

See, this is why Brigh never invented those in-universe.

[Lathiira]

189) Became a toaster. Got stuck in a Michael Bay movie. Got exploded by a Dinobot in a deleted scene.

[Adjoint]

190) Was eaten by a grue.

[krobrina]

191) Something about the shield damage rules in PF 2.

[Haladir]

192) COVID-19

What? Too soon?

[The NPC]

193) Love.

[Yqatuba]

194) He fell on his sword and died, which is his why former worshippers are covering it up, they are too embarrassed about it.

[SilvercatMoonpaw]

Yqatuba wrote:

194) He fell on his sword and died, which is his why former worshippers are covering it up, they are too embarrassed about it.

195) Saying it was his sword is part of the cover-up. It was actually his dinner fork. Very embarrassing.

[Lathiira]

SilvercatMoonpaw wrote:

Yqatuba wrote:

194) He fell on his sword and died, which is his why former worshippers are covering it up, they are too embarrassed about it.

195) Saying it was his sword is part of the cover-up. It was actually his dinner fork. Very embarrassing.

Told him to use the spork, but oh no....

[Adjoint]

196) He has taken a wrong turn in Albuquerque.

[Riobux]

197. Aroden was wearing a strange pair of shiny red shoes and was clicking them together while saying "There is no place like home... There is no place like home...".

[SilvercatMoonpaw]

198) He got caught in the crossfire of a Dragonball battle.

199) Some "Doctor" pulled him into some kind of box or vehicle while yelling about saving the future.

[Mudfoot]

200) Colonel Mustard, in the Library, with the Candlestick.
(has nobody done this yet?)

[Lathiira]

Mudfoot wrote:

200) Colonel Mustard, in the Library, with the Candlestick.

(has nobody done this yet?)

Couldn't find the murder weapon.

[SilvercatMoonpaw]

201) An April Fools Day prank got out of hand.

[Edward the Necromancer]

SilvercatMoonpaw wrote:

199) Some "Doctor" pulled him into some kind of box or vehicle while yelling about saving the future.

202) Aroden was recruited by a/the "Doctor" to rescue someone named John Conner

[Edward the Necromancer]

203) Somebody asked Aroden "Do goblins produce milk that i can turn into cheese?". Aroden decided to kill himself rather than answer the question.

[Phntm888]

204) Swears that he'll get around to coming back to Golarion as soon as he finishes watching Tiger King. Said the same thing when he was watching The Mandalorian.

[Haladir]

Mudfoot wrote:

200) Colonel Mustard, in the Library, with the Candlestick.

(has nobody done this yet?)

Alas...

[Haladir]

205) Aroden stared into the Ineffable Void, and it stared back into him.

[Edward the Necromancer]

Haladir wrote:

192) COVID-19

What? Too soon?

206) Aroden isn't dead, he is simply in quarantine for a few thousand years.

[SilvercatMoonpaw]

207) He questioned the henotheistic nature of religion and suggested forming into a pantheon. He was obviously bucking for Head God going to infringe on religious liberty and had to be eliminated.

[Lathiira]

208) Taken out by some strange adventurer called the Dovahkin who thought his name was Alduin, not Aroden. It was a loud noisy fight.

[Virellius]

Edward the Necromancer wrote:

155: As a God of Prophecy Aroden knew the ending to Game of Thrones, so all of the other Gods put him down to avoid spoilers.

Alternately, he saw the ending and upon witnessing it's horror, left this realm forever.

[Edward the Necromancer]

Lathiira wrote:

208) Taken out by some strange adventurer called the Dovahkin who thought his name was Alduin, not Aroden. It was a loud noisy fight.

209: Aroden made an appearance in a JRPG and was defeated by a colorful group of misfits.

[SilvercatMoonpaw]

210) That information is above your clearance level, citizen. Trust Friend Blue Golem that there is an explanation for the death of Aroden and that you do not need to know about it. Why are you even asking? Are you asking because you are a [REDACTED]-[REDACTED]-traitor scum? If you are, please report to your nearest Disintegration Trap for disposal. Failure to do so will result in disintegration. Now go and have a Good Day. And remember: Fun Is Mandatory.