Page 136, Cornelius Button's manifestation reads, "...a cricket if you are Good, a .butterfly if you are Evil...", don't think the period should be there.
Page 141, Forty-Two's blurb seems to have nothing to do with its legend. I mean, I'm as much of a fan of Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy as anyone, but.
Page 141, Forty-Two's legend, it reads, "Centuries later, a group of adventures..." I presume you meant, "...a group of adventurers..."
Page 141, Forty-Two's vestigial bond says it replaces control construct; I presume you mean override construct?
Page 143, Iona Ophid's capstone empowerment reads, "...but it becomes expended while you concentration and..."; should be "...while you concentrate..."?
Page 144, Kaiya's major granted ability, "You can activate abjure
missiles as a free action..."; abjure missiles should be italicized.
Page 150, Obba, Ella, Atasha's manifestation reads, "The silhouettes of three woman..."; should be "...three women..."
Page 153, Vandrae's vestigial bond, looking at Ultimate Magic, it should technically be a scarlet spider familiar...
Page 165, Hexus' rebuke undead minor granted ability has a period and a comma at the end of the last sentence.
Page 165, Hexus' physical sign has two periods at the end of the last sentence.
Page 167, Kami Onmyoji's signs and influence reads, "Kami Onmyoji affects you in the following ways:"; should end in a period based on other spirits.
Page 168, Kandisha's major granted ability, sun foe reads, "The sun’s wrath bares down..."; should be "...bears down..."
Page 174, Swan Elashni's dance of the swan minor granted ability says it works as water walking, which should be water walk.
Page 174, Swan Elashni's legend reads, "...to try and win the hearts of five lovely swan..."; should be swans.
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Rednal wrote: Uh... just to be sure, you're planning to sell this on Paizo.com, right? I may need to tweak my review a little if it will only be up on drivethrurpg... Yes.
While I'm not 100% sure of what happened, apparently Dario accidentally set the PDF to release on DriveThru RPG, and after it apparently generated a rather large sum of money we decided that it was too late to pull it from DriveThru.
I'm not sure when it'll appear on Paizo and the Open Gaming Store, but the plan is to make it available there. We're also in the process of ordering the proof copy of the printed version. My next update on the Kickstarter will include a picture of Dario holding the print book, guarantee.
Right-o! I'll save this review as-is, then, and upload it as soon as I notice the release here. XD
Page 158, Anajira's major granted ability reads, "For example, you could use the attack action, cast a spell-like ability with a casting time of 1 standard action." Shouldn't there be an 'or' in there? I personally favor nixing the comma as well, given there's only two examples.
Page 161, Ethaniel Midnight's third totem reads, "...in a basement hear a flight of stairs." Should be "...near a flight of stairs.", I believe.
Page 161, Ethaniel Midnight's major granted ability...shouldn't it be wracking pain? I would at least argue that, "You wreck one target’s body..." should be 'wrack' instead of 'wreck'.
Page 161, Ethaniel Midnight's false alignment minor granted ability reads, "You target may attempt a caster level check..."; first, should be "Your target...", secondly, I'd actually argue that since you're choosing to register, you're not really targeting the caster, and would probably argue that, "The diviner may attempt..." would work slightly better, but that's fairly minor.
Page 161, Ethaniel Midnight's instant manacles minor granted ability should have arcane lock italicized.
Page 164, Gulguthriana's last totem doesn't list the DC for the Fortitude save to avoid being nauseated.
Page 164, Gulguthriana's gluttonous gullet minor granted ability reads, "...that cause the sicked or nauseated conditions." Should be 'sickened'.
Page 165, Hexus' legend reads, "This is never more true then when..." and "More often then not..."; both should be 'than' rather than 'then'.
Page 165, Hexus' capstone empowerment reads, "When you leave the zombie, it is destroys..." Should be 'destroyed'.
Page 167, Kami Onmyoji's guardian of pacts minor granted ability reads, "...bonus equal to your Charisma bonus (if any)on saving throws...", missing a space after the end parentheses.
Page 169, Loh'Moi's major granted ability reads, "You project an ray of force..." Should be "...a ray of force..."
Page 172, Prime Ravager's capstone refers to the ability as steam the supernatural, rather than stem the supernatural. Though now I want to see a Toriko-esque cooking spirit sometime...
Page 179, Circe's Runes has their minor granted abilities listed as major granted abilities.
Page 180, shouldn't it be the Dowser rune, rather than the Drowser rune...?
For the Hand rune, it's pilfering hand, not pilfering hands.
For the Lute rune, play instrument should have a superscripted UM, while solid note should have a superscripted APG. And now that I check, it should be thundering drums, not thunderous drums.
The Mirror Rune's title is smaller than all the others.
For the Monocle Rune, you've got discern lines, which I rather suspect should be discern lies.
Under the Tongue rune, you spelled arcane mouth 'arcame mouth'...and actually, isn't it magic mouth?
Under the Woman rune, you spelled charm person 'chamr person'.
Page 181, Dark Blood's legend reads, "...when the hobgoblin god descended down upon the youths in the form of a lion and ripped their throats..." Shouldn't it be "...ripped out their throats..."? I'd also argue 'down upon' is redundant and should just be "...descended upon..."
Page 186, Noble Marius' legend, isn't it emperatriz, not emparatriz? Though maybe I'm thinking of the wrong language...
Page 187, Omlan Atlan's occult reformation minor granted ability reads, "...which is spent on special regents that allow this trance to function." I'm pretty sure you mean 'reagents' rather than 'regents'.
Page 188, Pavatu's legend reads, "...for his breeze blew where only the rattling leaves and lonely mountaintops could heart it." I believe that should be, "...could hear it."
Page 189, Rattenkönig’s major granted ability reads, "The damage of your swam attack increases by..." Should be "...swarm attack..."
Page 191, Tentacles of Dagon's child of the deeps ability reads, "...you gain an insight bonus on Swim checks equal to half your binder level and can breathe water as easily as air if it does not possess the aquatic subtype." Is that supposed to be "...if you do not possess the aquatic subtype."? Otherwise not sure what the 'it' is referring to.
Page 194, Triteia's vestigial bond, while I'm sure the answer is alter self, normally if you have the change shape ability you're supposed to say which polymorph spell it acts as...though I'm sure any reasonable GM would come to the same conclusion I did.
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Noble Marius' blurb versus his legend confuses me...the blurb says that the empress (emparatriz?) granted him his powers, while the legend says he was born with them. Did she grant him them at birth? The legend makes it seem more like the powers were his, but she created another personality, possibly to control him...?
For Teu and Lae's bind paradox granted minor ability, is it supposed to be your Intelligence bonus, rather than than your Charisma bonus? Just seems a bit odd for a spirit, so figured I'd check to make sure that's purposeful.
For Triteia's voice of the sea, is the conch shell, horn, or trumpet supposed to be a focus component or a material component? It says it's the latter, but playing it doesn't make it seems like it's consumed, unless the instrument is destroyed after you finish playing? Just seemed a bit odd, so figured I'd check to make sure that's as-intended.
For Vodavox's blurb, might I suggest prophesied over prophetic? It's not exactly wrong, but the implication when applied to an individual tends to be that they themselves have prophetic powers instead of being the subject of a prophesy. That is very minor, though...
Page 88, it reads, "Effects with a permanent or instantaneous duration, such as those created fabricate..." Should be 'created by fabricate'.
Page 107, Forash's second totem reads, "You are to speak Infernal or Abyssal and perform Forash's ceremony in this language"; I believe it should be 'are able to'?
Page 196, Alrik of Malkeborne's Legend reads, "On the day of his coordination..." I presume that was supposed to be 'coronation'?
Page 196, Alrik of Malkeborne's vestigial bond, I think livelihood is a weird word choice in context; can I suggest condition instead?
Page 197, Damian Darkstar's legend has two end quotation marks (””) at the end of the mayday quote.
Page 197, Damian Darkstar's capstone empowerment reads, "...up to 20 feet per turn as a move action." Shouldn't it be 'per round'?
Page 198, Death Howls' legend reads, "...assuming that the tales of evil spirits that lurked within Snow Country as nursery stories and the gnoll elders as incompetent dogs." I'm guessing that where you put 'as' should be 'were'? Not sure, though...
Page 198, Death Howls' major granted ability reads, "...one weapon or natural attack that are wielding..." Which should be 'that you are wielding'. And a bit more pressingly...what's the action to use ghost strike, and how long does it last? As-written, I would assume standard action and one round, which would make it useless except for attacks of opportunity. Speculation suggests perhaps you use it as part of an attack action, or you do it and make an attack as a standard action, or you use it as a swift action and it lasts for a round?
Page 199, Demos Kalagos' vestigial boon, alter age should have a † to indicate its source.
Page 200, Everrona's blurb...shouldn't it be 'childbirth' instead of 'child birth'?
Page 200, Everrona's physical sign reads, "...or reptillian if you are neutral." Should be 'reptilian'.
Page 201, Giza Sekhemet's third totem I would suggest rephrasing as, "...with desert spices worth 1,000 gp.", or possibly "...worth at least 1,000 gp."
Page 201, Giza Sekhemet's manifestation reads, "The sand coalesces into a female lion’s head emerges with diamonds for eyes..." Nix the 'emerges'?
Page 201, Giza Sekhemet's avatar ofwar minor granted ability should probably be avatar of war.
Page 201, Giza Sekhemet's drilled soldier minor granted ability might need a reference to Ultimate Campaign for the last bit?
Page 206, Loresir Claw's totems aren't indented and don't have the usual » before them.
Page 207, Jayna Warlock's song of elemental fury, song of rising barriers, and song of waning elements all don't italicize aspect of seven.
Page 207, Ma'Zad's ice skean minor granted ability, icicle dagger should have a superscripted UM.
Page 208, Ma'Zad and Aza'Mi's personality influence, doesn't the second sentenct contradict the first? I mean, I guess it depends on how you're defining honor, but it doesn't seem terribly honorable to never show mercy to someone weaker than you, especially if they surrender...
Page 209, Merickel's capstone empowerment, should it be a free action that can be performed even when it isn't your turn...? Otherwise it seems like you should avoid trying to get his capstone empowerment...
Page 209, Merickel's vestigial bond reads, "Dispel magic sand antimagic field..." Should be 'and'.
Page 211, Minezon's first totem, shouldn't it be 'purée'?
Page 211, Minezon's consume blood minor granted ability, is this ability self-only? It seems like it should be based on flavor, but it doesn't actually say. If it isn't, what's the range?
Page 211, Minezon's stirge's sting ability, shouldn't it be 'unarmed strike damage'? Or does it apply to any damage dealt while unarmed, such as natural weapons and granted abilities? Leaning towards the former interpretation, though, given the phrasing.
Page 212, Primordial Titans' first totem; while this isn't really important since there generally isn't a distinction between being able to read or speak a language (barring things like comprehend languages), but if singing hymns, wouldn't being able to speak Celestial and Giant be more relevant than reading it?
Page 212, Primordial Titans' armor proficiency minor granted ability reads, "...you reduce the armor check penalty of all armor that you wield..." Pretty sure that should be 'wear' rather than 'wield'.
Page 213, Rasputin's major granted ability, rather minor but I don't think Freakish Touch Deformities counts as being in a sidebar anymore.
Page 214, Rasputin's vestigial bond, shouldn't carnival animal template have a † to indicate its source?
Page 214, Freakish Touch Deformities, freakish touch isn't italicized in the first sentence.
Page 214, Freakish Touch Deformities, human centaur reads, "...but it wields weapons as through it were its original size...", should be 'as though'.
Page 214, Freakish Touch Deformities, second head is not indented and the text isn't red like the other deformities.
Page 215, Serapith's smite enemy reads, "You may only have one target smited at a time..." Technically, I believe 'smitten' is correct past tense, though it feels awkward regardless; might I suggest "You may only smite one target at a time..."?
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Since Damian Darkstar's reverse gravity specifies a planet's gravity, does that mean it doesn't function on other planes with gravity but no planets? As well as on moons or possibly on spaceships with artificial/magical gravity, I suppose.
Out of curiosity, will Hi’Ryia get a mention in Dynastic Races?
And. Uh. Why exactly are Ma'Zad and Aza'Mi Neutral Good? Keeping a war going for three hundred years just so they could keep meeting up seems more in the realm of Neutral at minimum, if not Neutral Evil...since that's...pretty monstrous?
Page 98, Witch Yaba has the mislead minor granted ability capitalized.
Page 216, Bercilak Hautdesert's second totem, "You snap a wand of charm person with at least 40 charms..." Should be '40 charges'.
Page 216, Bercilak Hautdesert's legend, "In the most famous story involving the Green Knight, he is decapitated one of the king’s most skilled knights..." Pretty sure it should be 'decapitated by'.
Page 217, The Crow's legend reads, "...there is an urban legend of a young groom who was murdered by his rival while en route to his wedding, aiming to steal his bride’s heart..." The phrasing makes it sound like the groom was intending to steal his own bride's heart; might I suggested "of a young groom who, while en route to his wedding, was murdered by a rival who intended to steal the young groom's bride with a drop of love potion"?
Page 217, The Crow's second minor granted ability is titled "DualWielding Duelist"; should probably be either 'Dual-Wielding' or 'Dual Wielding'.
Page 218, Dead Kings' first totem, "Your have a Strength, Dexterity, and Constitution score of 20 or better." Should be 'You have'.
Page 218, Dead Kings' legend, "Speculation abounds about the spirit’s nature of with no answer proven to be factual." Nix the 'of', perhaps, or rewrite to 'of which none has proven to be factual'?
Page 218, command of the king lesser granted ability, isn't it geas/quest instead of geas-quest?
Page 219, the Elysium Choir's life's grace minor granted ability, should be death ward instead of deathward.
Page 220, Inexorus' second totem, at the moment I believe there isn't a protean above CR 17, which means that some characters can't accomplish this without the aid of templates...Advanced Giant Resolute Keketar? Though I suppose that's more a flaw in the system, hmm, and you probably don't want to allow the possibility of multiple proteans without a limit since otherwise you just get someone snagging a few dozen voidworms. Might not be a real problem, I guess, especially if we do get a Cr 20 protean in Bestiary 6.
Page 220, Inexorus' third totem, geas/quest instead of geas-quest?
Page 221, Jörmungandr's stir the ocean minor granted ability, hydraulic torrent and vortex should have a superscripted APG.
Page 224, Mare Loviatha's totems aren't indented and are missing the »».
Page 226, Musha'Vadu's shadow walk minor granted ability, shadow step should have a superscripted UM.
Page 227, Portenta's manifestation, "You gaze into a reflective option in the center of Portenta’s seal." I'm presuming that should be 'reflective object'?
Page 229, Silent Steps seems to be missing a totem; is it intended he should only have two?
Page 230, Wendigo's consume mana minor granted ability; as written, an ally could just spam a cantrip such as guidance, resistance, touch of fatigue, and other similar cantrips that allow spell resistance to allow you to heal back up completely...is this as intended? Wendigo is a 7th-level spirit, so I don't think it's that bad, and it's not that much healing, so it's perhaps not necessarily a problem, but thought it might be worth pointing out.
Page 230, Wendigo's vestigial bond, "You can cast heroes’ feast as a spell-like abilities..."; should be 'spell-like ability'.
Page 233, Legend of Yith’anu, "Mustering up what little courage remained in my heart..." should be indented, I think?
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The Elysium Choir's tranquil peace of Elysium says that someone can only benefit from the breath of life aspect "a number of times per day equal to half your maximum spirit level". Since the Elysium Choir is an 8th-level spirit, 9th-level is the maximum spirit level, and you always round down unless otherwise stated in Pathfinder, is there a situation in the system where that doesn't actually just mean, "four times per day" for this ability?
Also, I don't suppose I can convince you that Silent Steps' throat strike should allow the DC for Stunning Fist to be based off of Charisma...?
Finally, is Yith’anu's vestigial boon supposed to grant change shape? I ask since unlike the others, it doesn't refer to alter self and beast shape II as spell-like abilities, so I'm not sure if they are essentially spell-like abilities, or if it's supposed to operate like a kitsune's change shape ability with the Fox Shape feat.
Just wanted to say Luthorne that you are amazing! I admire your attention to detail and determination. Good job.
Page 234, Ahnel Soltanis' legend, "...and split innocent blood fighting in unjust wars..." Should be 'spilt', rather than 'split', I imagine.
Page 234, Ahenl Solantis' legend, "When Ahnel Soltanis passed and was brought before the Lord of Justice..." Should be 'passed on', I think?
Page 235, Doomed Salu'im's legend, "...that are thought to be the result of a hellish marrying of..." I believe it would be 'a hellish marriage of', at least traditionally.
Page 235, Doomed Salu’im's time vision minor granted power is titled "TimeVision". It should, I believe, have a space.
Page 236, Essk Avix's second totem, should be '1st-level bloodline power' instead of '1st level bloodline power'.
Page 236, Essek Avix's legend, "Essek was uptight, courtly, and honorable." I'm not 100%, but I think you mean 'upright', given that Avix had all negatives?
Page 236, Essek Avix's legend, "...and banished them to the Spirit Realm to relive their betrayal until the end of day." I presume you mean 'the end of days.' The other alternative, 'until the end of the day' is considerably less menacing.
Page 236, Essek Avix's major granted ability, "While using this ability, any effects that active on you..." Should be 'any effects that are active on you', I believe, took a bit to parse that sentence.
Page 236, Essek Avix's unwilling shield minor granted ability, "You cannot have more than one unwilling shield activate in this way at a time." I believe it should be 'active'.
Page 237, Evening Star's Summoning Rules, "The following describes the requirements and rituals for sealing pacts with Ahnel Soltanis." Should be 'Evening Star'.
Page 239, Goliath's major granted ability, chain of perdition should have a superscripted UC.
Page 239, Goliath's Goliath's mettle minor granted ability should say you can use 'Improved Great Fortitude a number of time per day' instead of Great Fortitude.
Page 240, Hou-ou's third totem is Pevwyrn Pervon’s third totem, complete with Pevwyrn's name.
Page 240, Hou-ou's legend, very minor, but I believe it's 'life-giving' rather than 'lifegiving'.
Page 241, some of Mana's summoning rules are in a smaller font than usual for some reason...?
Page 241, Mana's aberrant sight minor granted ability, occult sight should have a †.
Page 243, Medusa's legend, "Her visage was so horrifyingly that..." Should be 'horrifying'.
Page 243, Medusa's legend, "...every drop of Medusa’s blood transformed into a new Medusa..."; shouldn't it be 'a new medusa' if we're referring to the race? Unless the originals were actually Medusa herself instead of merely a medusa?
Page 243, Medusa's major granted ability, "This bite attack deals 1d6 points of damage (or 1d4 points if you are small and affects the target..." Should be '(or 1d4 points if you are small)'.
Page 245, Rajah Amajaloma's major granted ability, "...is also effected by death knell"; should be 'affected'.
Page 250, Septigenius Maximus' mummify minor granted ability says that it "is not dispelled or suppressed by any effect, including mage’s disjunction and antimagic field". Does this mean a binder who makes a good pact with Septigenius Maximus cannot suppress this granted ability as a move action as normal? Or is this true, but since it only applies when his physical sign is shown, that can be suppressed if desired? Furthermore, are spells such as dismiss pact spirits, banish pact spirits, spirit scourge, or even suppress sign ineffective?
Page 250, Septigenius Maximus' vestigial bond, how many skeletons are in a troupe?
Page 252, Young Krios' second totem needs a space after the »».
Page 252, Young Krios' legend...okay, is, "their heads collected, shrunken, animated, and stored within glass jars at the head quarters of the noble court" supposed to be 'headquarters' or just a really terrible pun...?
Page 252, Young Krios' legend, I think seditionary or seditionist is the correct term, not seditioner?1
Page 252, Young Krios' off with thei head minor granted ability, shouldn't 'vorpal' be italicized? Or perhaps 'is treated as though it had the vorpal weapon special ability'?
Page 252, Young Krios' personality influence; shouldn't it be 'hopelessly idealistic'?
Page 252, Young Krios' vestigial bond says it replaces off with their heads; should be off with their head.
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For Goliath's legend, I suggest 'horrid sovereigns of suffering who paid tribute to him'...mostly because I initially parsed it as them being sovereigns of suffering as well as sovereigns of paid tribute.
Okay, this might be minor, but it bothers me that Mana's antimagic ray is not, actually, a ray. I vote for antimagic cone or antimagic wave or even thaumic suppression or something similar.
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Third Mind wrote: Just wanted to say Luthorne that you are amazing! I admire your attention to detail and determination. Good job. Heh...it's good to hear that, sometimes I feel like I'm just being a nipicky jerk, pointing out a ton of mostly minor errors. But as long as it makes the final product better, I'll be happy.
Also, slightly out of order, but since this is short and I need to go to bed, in regards to spell lists on pages 272-279:
First of all, when Paizo makes these spell lists (as here) they capitalize the spells, and don't italicize them. You don't have to, and if that's a deliberate style choice, that's fine, the lack of capitalization just looks slightly odd to me, especially since the short descriptions do have capitalization.
Second of all, for the auger pact line of spells. An auger is a tool. I suspect it should be augur.
Finally...
Page 273, 2nd-level spells for cleric, allies and enemies is not red or italicized.
Page 278, there isn't a space between the end of the witch's 2nd-level spells and the beginning of the witch's 3rd-level spells.
Page 179, there isn't a space between the end of the witch's 8th-level spells and the beginning of the witch's 9th-level spells.
That's all I noticed, but I'm tired, so I'll probably give a second glance later. Sleeeeep.
Third Mind wrote: Just wanted to say Luthorne that you are amazing! I admire your attention to detail and determination. Good job. I second the fact that Luthorne is amazing!
This being the second glance:
Page 278, Witch's version of occult sight reads, "Allows ou to see occult auras..." Should be 'you'.
The short description for, greater allies and enemies, greater occult sight, and siphon sands all refer to other spells in this book, but are missing the †; communal undetectable spirit has it for undetectable spirit, though.
The short description for greater temporal vision, "Can observe any location at any point time." Should probably be 'at any point in time'.
The short description for communal undetectable spirit, "...but you
may divine duration among targets touched." Should be 'divide duration', I believe.
Also, despite mentioning it in the introduction, there are not superscripted Fs or Ms for expensive material components; augur pact, greater augur pact, last impression, protection from the supernatural, remove malady, communal undetectable spirit have expensive material components, while dismiss pact spirit, banish pact spirits, temporal vision, and greater temporal vision have an expensive focus component.
While browsing for expensive components, noticed in passing that:
Page 287, greater mental regression's description is in a smaller font.
Page 290, communal undetectable spirit has the spell's components bolded.
I've got a Pathfinder Society game after work tonight, so not sure how much proofreading I'll get done today...fair warning and all.
I wound up going into the spells after the second glance, since I noticed a few other things that made me want to check in more detail...I'll swing back to the 9th-level spirits afterwards.
Page 281, greater auger pact doesn't list the school for the spell, and while it could be argued that it's not needed since it acts as auger pact, every other greater version includes the School as well as the Level sections, despite the former being identical.
Page 281, Crystallized Pain, "...this regent can be used to..." Given the context, I presume 'reagent' rather than 'regent'.
Page 282, greater bestow pact malady, shouldn't it be in the major maladies column, rather than the minor? I'm also curious why you chose to reproduce the entirety of the spell block instead of those aspects that are different from the normal version, as you did with the other 'greater' spells and banish pact spirits.
Page 283, bones of damnation, if you're tagging Bestiary material with a superscripted B1, shouldn't the advanced simple template be tagged in such a manner?
Page 283, cascade of arrows, "Furthermore, broken arrows strewn across the grown..." Should be 'across the ground'.
Page 284, detect pact spirits says it can be made permanent via permanency, but doesn't list the cost or Caster Level requirements for doing so.
Page 286, love spell has a colon after Spell Resistance.
Page 287, greater mental regression, there's a colon after Level.
Page 287, greater mental regression, "...including to stand from prone." Should be, at a minimum 'including to stand up from prone', though I think 'including standing up' would be better myself.
Page 287, occult sight says it can be made permanent via permanency, but doesn't list the cost or Caster Level requirements for doing so.
Page 287, greater occult sight, there's a colon after Level.
Page 289, spirit birth, remove disease and contagion aren't italicized.
Page 289, suppress sign, there's a colon after Spell Resistance.
Page 290, not sure if necessary, but for greater temporal vision. you don't have a † for temporal vision.
Page 290, greater temporal vision, "...as though you had successfully cast scrying the observe it." 'the observe it' makes no sense...leftover fragment that needs to be deleted, maybe?
Page 290, zone of spiritual abstinence, there's a colon after Spell Resistance.
Edit: Oh, just noticed, page 275, merfolk transformation is listed as a 5th-level paladin spell; looking at the spell itself, pretty sure that was supposed to be under the magus.
Also, derp, in the spell list section you have the dismiss pact spirit spell listed as dismiss pact spirits.
Edit: And also in the text of the banish pact spirits spell.
Page 253, Alabaster's legend reads, "Protected from the ravaged of time..." Should be 'ravages of time'.
Page 253, Alabaster's major granted ability reads, "For command time ‘s duration..." Unnecessary space.
Page 254, Aladdar's capstone empowerment doesn't italicize Aladdar's disjunction.
Page 254, Aladdar's vestigial companion says you can also replace ready for action; should be ready to run. Or maybe ready to run should be ready for action. Either way...
Page 255, Ashvattha's manifestation reads, "Ashvattha speaks to you in the voice of nature..." Shouldn't it be 'with the voice of nature'?
Page 255, Ashvattha's legend reads, "...the Great One built countless words..." I believe, based on context, that should be 'worlds'?
Page 255, Ashvattha's animate trees minor granted ability reads, "...the tree takes one full-round action for an animated tree to uproot itself before it can act." Should either be 'the tree takes one full-round action to uproot itself before it can act' or 'it takes one full-round action for an animated tree to uproot itself before it can act', though I personally think the former is slightly clearer about whose action it is...maybe 'the tree must take one full-round action'...?
Page 256, the Beast that Births' legend reads, "Enraged by grief, the mother goaded the champion to her home..." I believe it should be either 'goaded the champion into her home' or 'goaded the champion into coming to her home'...?
Page 257, Brother Calvis' major granted ability reads, "You completely nullify one harmful effects..." Should be 'effect'.
Page 257, Brother Calvis' personality influence has two periods at the end of the sentence.
Page 258, Daeminthos' legend reads, "...sold by greedy merchants and desperate peasants alike,trapping..." Missing a space after the comma.
Page 258, Daeminthos' major granted ability reads, "Also the crystal explodes with psychic energy..." Might I suggest, 'The crystal also explodes with psychic energy' instead...? Or maybe just, 'The crystal then explodes with psychic energy'...
Page 259, Dama's legend reads, "...when the gods finished creating the mortal realm, they sat together to create the creatures..." Not exactly an error, but...'sat together'...? Maybe 'assembled', 'convened', 'gathered together', 'joined together'...'sat together' just seems so...incredibly mundane.
Page 259, Dama's vestigial companion reads, "...functioning as one animal companion of your choice from the ranger’s list of hunter’s bonds." Should be 'hunter's bond'. Though it's still a bit oddly phrased, 'perhaps 'list in hunters' bond'?
Page 260, Eschalon's totems aren't indented and don't have the »».
Page 260, Eschalon's third totem, is that supposed to be desecrated as the spell, or more generally desecrated? If it's as the spell, you might make a note, though desecrate does italicize desecrated areas within its description, so it might deserve italicizing. If not, though, I suppose it's fine, though to avoid confusion I might suggest 'befouled', 'defiled', 'profaned', or 'polluted'.
Page 260, Eschalon's major granted ability, the wording just bothers me; might I suggest the following?
Page 260, Eschalon's capstone empowerment; as written, since the nauseate only triggers on a failed Reflex save, it would never occur with this ability; might I suggest adding (presuming that isn't as intended) adding a line that states that creatures affected by this ability must still make a Fortitude save or be nauseated?
Page 260, Eschalon's personality influence reads, "You revile in killing living creatures. You must destroy life at every opportunity." Given the context, I believe it should be 'revel'.
Page 261, Kaylos' capstone empowerment reads, "...or become teleported to...", which is kind of weird phrasing...'or be teleported to' or 'or is teleported to', perhaps? Though I might also argue for replacing 'teleported' with 'plane shifted'...
Page 263, King Mutaros' title isn't formatted correctly for a spirit title.
Page 263, King Mutaros' vestigial companion, "You gain an resolute weaselB2 as a familiar, functioning as an Improved Familiar. You possess a wizard level equal to your binder level when determining your augur’s abilities." Should be 'your familiar's abilities', I think?
Page 264, Malebolge Moors' manifestation reads, "Grinning sinisterly, it reveals your eternal punishment in Hell to you before sealing the pact." Are you actually damned for binding the Malebolge Moors, or is this just an illusion? If the latter, you might want to say that it creates visions of eternal punishment in Hell to you or something along those lines...
Page 265, Prometheus' manifestation reads, "...and gobbles you in a single bite..." Shouldn't it be 'gobbles you up in a single bite'?
Page 265, Prometheus' capstone empowerment; elsewhere you capitalize First Flame, should it be capitalized here?
Page 265, Prometheus' debt of the First Flame minor granted ability, overwhelming presence should have a superscripted UM the first time it appears.
Page 266, Saint Alexandra's manifestation reads, "Your quickly flows out from your self-inflicted wound..." I presume it should be 'Your blood'?
Page 266, Saint Alexandra's occult blessings minor granted ability refers to the Pact Magic domain; however, Pact Magic is a subdomain of the Occult domain rather than its own domain, so it should probably say subdomain or be changed to the Occult domain.
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If a creature makes its save against Kaylos' sinful desire minor granted ability, does it still tell you its most sinful desire? As written it seems like it, which seems like a lot of narrative impact to potentially gain with no save, so just thought I'd make sure that's as intended.
Page 355, Options, Occult Creatures reads, "This section details four new creatures: the autrok, the carnival animal, the spirit imp, and the spirit-touched creature." It actually details five new creatures; you missed the ravager vessel.
Page 358, Society, "...that specialize in a specific avenue of merchantilism." Should be 'mercantilism'.
Page 358, Relations, "...often find themselves pressured into dealing with efreeti exlusively..." Should be 'exclusively'.
Page 359, Adventurers, "Although most prefer the wander’s life..." I presume it should be 'the wanderer's life'?
Page 359, desert inspiration alternate racial trait capitalizes the seer binder racial trait.
Page 361, Ravager Vessel and Ravaged Vessel are used fairly interchangeably; I presume Ravager Vessel is correct?
Page 361, Occult Scent (Ex) ability reads, "...it can use its this ability to..." Should be either 'its' or 'this', not both.
Page 362, Autrok, Ergon, they have the Minor Binding feat, which I believe was changed into the Amateur Pactmaker feat, which should also have a †. And also doesn't grant a constellation aspect, which he seems to be sporting. Unless that's an ergon subtype thing, but that's not defined here, I think? Nor is the occult subtype.
Page 362, Autrok, Ergon, there's a colon after Skills.
Page 362, Autrok, Ergon, the Steal Magic Item (Ex) ability says, "Such an item can only be recovered by slaying the autrok. An autrok can spit up a swallowed item as a full-round action." These seem contradictory...perhaps 'by slaying the autrok or convincing it to spit up the swallowed item. An autrok can...' or somesuch? I mean, obviously normally you can't convince it, but presumably if it was a familiar, its master could convince it to do so reluctantly, or by using suggestion or dominate monster...?
Page 363, Carnival Animal, the example lion has a +8 racial bonus on Disguise checks to appear as a lion, but I don't see where in the Carnival Animal template that ability is gained...?
Page 364, Ravager Vessel Fighter, under skills, I believe Insight should be bolded.
Page 365, Spirit-Touched Youth, feats, Amateur Pactmaker and Demon Eye (spiny skin) should have a †.
Page 365, Creating a Spirit-Touched Creature, Senses, "A spirit-touched creature retains all the senses of the base creature and gains the following ability." There is no following ability. Judging by the Spirit-Touched Youth's senses, though, perhaps it was supposed to have Occult Scent?
Page 365, Creating a Spirit-Touched Creature, Occult Addiction (Ex) should be red and italicized instead of blue and bolded.
Page 365, Creating a Spirit-Touched Creature, Feats, Amateur Pactmaker should have a †.
Page 365, the Spirit-Touched Creature Defenses table, Hit Dice and DR are centered, but their entries are left-aligned; either both should be centered, or both left-aligned. Also, rather than 11, it should be 11+.
Page 366, Pactmaker Background Generator calls out Table 8-3: Pactmaker Backgrounds twice, when it should be Table 9-3.
Page 366, Pactmaker Backgrounds table, Cultist's Child reads, "...surrounded by pact magic from a early age." Should be 'an early age'.
Page 366, Pactmaker Backgrounds table, Indebted, I would personally suggest 'bound a spirit to your soul' and 'You have since dedicated your life to the spirits.'
Page 366, Against Spirits Faith Trait, not really an error, but it has flavor about resisting supernatural taint which doesn't seem to match the mechanical effect...perhaps something about being excellent at dispatching such supernatural menaces?
Page 368, Removing Pact Maladies, the paragraph beginning with "In addition to remove pact malady†..." isn't indented.
Page 369, inscribed skin minor pact malady, suppress sign should have a †.
Page 369, inspire disdain minor pact malady reads, "Covering your face using mundane methods (such as a full-face mask) cause you to become blinded or treat all creatures as though they had total concealment depending upon the methods used..." Should be 'causes you', I believe?
Page 370, spirit palsy minor pact malady, greater restoration and heal should be italicized.
Page 370, stolen identity minor pact malady, "While afflicted with stolen identity, you unable to speak your name." Presumably should be 'you are unable to'?
Page 370, stolen identity minor pact malady reads, "On subsequent weeks, this penalty allies to your friends or associates..." Should be 'applies'.
Page 370, gender bending major pact malady reads, "...or one that was involved when your gaining of gender bending." I already mentioned this one, but for the sake of completion, should be something like 'when you gained gender bending' or something similar.
Page 370, gender bending major pact malady reads, "...or any similar polymorph spell..." I presume this is referring to polymorph as a subschool rather than as a spell; if so, it should not be italicized.
Page 372, Bluff reads, "If you do not make a Bluff check to attempt to conceal the true natural of your supernatural abilities..." Should be 'the true nature'.
Page 372, Bluff reads, "When attempting to masquerade a supernatural ability as either a spell or spell-like ability, you make a Perception check opposed by your onlooker’s Sense Motive..." and, "If an opponent’s Sense Motive beats your Perception check..." Okay, so, first of all, shouldn't it be a Bluff check opposed by Sense Motive? In the Bluff skill? And secondly, 'your onlooker' is kind of weirdly possessive, something like 'an onlooker's' or 'any onlookers'' maybe?
Page 373, Knowledge (Religion), this refers to Table 8-5: Pact Magic Knowledge, and later on to Table 8-6; a quick browse through Chapter 8 didn't turn up any tables, so I believe it should be referring to Table 9-5: Pact Magic Knowledge. I don't see a 9-6, either, so that is probably also 9-5?
Page 373, Knowledge (religion) reads, "When pact magic is emerging, the DCs for all Knowledge checks made to answer questions about pact magic or perform the tasks listed on Table 8-6 increase by +2..." Should be 'increases'.
Page 374, Ravager Spirits, "They take what they want when they want it, and more often then not..." Should be 'more often than not'.
Page 374, Summoning Ravager Spirits, Ceremony Gone Awry is not indented or colored.
Page 374, Summoning Ravager Spirits, Ceremony Gone Awry reads, "...can all spell catastrophy for a binder..." Should be 'catastrophe'.
Page 374, Summoning Ravager Spirits, Pact Malady reads, "...there is a 50% chance that a ravager-blighted zome will manifest centered on the character..." Should be 'zone'.
Page 374, Possession, "A ravager spirit counts against the total number of spirits that a character can be bound to similtaneously." Should be 'simultaneously'.
Page 374, Possession, "...this damage cannot be healed until the ravager spirit is outsted from the character." Should be 'ousted'.
Page 375, ravage spirits legend reads, "Though none know for certain how the first ravager spirits were created, modern ravaged spirits spawn as a result of this cycle: souls drained dry by ravaged spirits transform into new ravaged spirits themselves." I think it should be 'ravager spirits' rather than 'ravaged spirits'??
Page 375, ravager spirits' vestigial bond, I don't think it needs the † when referring to a minor granted ability...or at least, I don't think I've seen it anywhere else?
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I'll admit, I'm not the most mechanically-minded, but I find it hard to understand why the Carnival Animal template is only +0 to their CR. It does have the usual construct restriction of dying more easily, but it still gets construct immunities, and what seems like a host of fancy abilities, including the very nasty grab, a sonic cone attack, etc. I was also a little surprised their weightless special quality didn't give them a penalty to their CMD or have them treated as if they were a few sizes smaller...but yeah. I'm also surprised they don't seem to lose their Constitution score? Don't get me wrong, I love the concept, it just seems like it deserves a +1 or +2 to its CR.
Does the truespeak spell allow someone to communicate with you while under the spirit aphasia minor pact malady, and does it count as them possessing truespeech for curing it? The latter, I would guess the answer is no even if it's clearly based on the same ability, but the former I'm not sure about...
Page 293, Undying Soul reads, "...the most devestating attacks." Should be 'devastating'.
Page 294, Page 297, Requirements, Special, none of these are capitalized at the beginning, which is rather jarring compared to the other requirements.
Page 297, Requirements, Special, none of these are capitalized at the beginning, which is rather jarring compared to the other requirements.
Page 297, Spells, "At each new divine exorcist level, she gains one or more knew spells..." Should be 'new'.
Page 297/298, Spells/Table 6-2: Divine Exorcist, the spells section says that spells known are on the table, but it seems to only have spells per day...? Am I just missing something obvious?
Page 298, Table 6-2: Divine Exorcist, dismiss pact spirits should be dismiss pact spirit.
Page 298, Table 6-2: Divine Exorcist, exorcism at 8th level probably shouldn't be capitalized.
Page 299, Detect Pact Spirits reads, "...a divine exorcist can use detect pact spirits†, at will..." I think the comma shouldn't be there?
Page 299, Exorcism, should be dismiss pact spirit instead of dismiss pact spirits.
Page 299, Pact Bane reads, "This ability only functions while the Saelendrian exorcist wields the weapon." Should be divine exorcist.
Page 300, Requirements, Binding, should be '3rd-level'.
Page 300, Requirements, Feats, the listed feats should have a †.
Page 300, Sprout Pool, "Alternatively, a he may spend..." Nix the 'a'. Also, what action is it to get the bonus to move or AC? It seems like the monk and ninja abilities, but they specify a swift action...is it supposed to be a standard action?
Page 302, hide from adults Greensprout Trick, hide from adults spell should have a †.
Page 302, menagerie of youth Greensprout Trick, age swipe should be italicized.
Page 302, precise swipe Greensprout Trick, age swipe should be italicized both times it appears in the ability.
Page 303, Masceri reads, "That said, the mascareri are expert binders and are able to allow the legacies of spirits and mortals alike to live forever within their creations as" Just cuts off there.
Page 303, Corpse Mask reads, "Removing a corpse mask is a move action, and when removes..." Should be 'when removed'.
Page 304, Table 6-4: Mascareri, you have analyze pact spirits on the table, but the actual ability is now called analyze spirit.
Page 304, Table 6-4: Mascareri, you have expanded mask design listed on the table, but the actual ability is called expanded design.
Page 304, dismiss pact spirits Mask Talent should be dismiss pact spirit, and it should have a †.
Page 304, feat Mask Talent reads, "...selects this talent gains an pact feat..." Should be 'a pact feat'.
Page 304, occult eye Mask Talent says it grants occult eye† as a spell, which doesn't seem to exist...I would guess occult sight† was intended?
Page 305, spiritbound mask Mask Talent, shouldn't there be a † after Reserve Spirit?
Page 305, improved vermin Expanded Design, there should be a superscripted UM after vermin shape II.
Page 306, Requirements, Alignment, since it's only one organization, why not just put chaotic evil, chaotic neutral, or neutral evil? A bit annoying to have to consult another section of the book...
Page 306, Requirements, Feats, you have a space after Starless Focus and †. Also, shouldn't it be Constellation Focus (Starless)?
Pag 306, Ravage Pact, Spirit Focus and Permanent Pact should have a †.
Page 307, Table 6-5: Ravage Binder, not sure about this, but perhaps disintegrating eye ray should be italicized on the table? I know detect alignment is for the inquisitor, so thought it might be worth considering.
Page 308, Societal Boon, since you can only choose one society, saying it depends on the ravage binder's chosen organization seems a bit odd, had me checking back up towards requirements to make sure I hadn't missed something...
Page 309, Undying Soul reads, "Becoming an undying soul requires very little else then vigorous physical training and a single-minded devotion to this task." Should be 'than', though I think it's a bit awkward even so, would suggest 'very little other than' personally.
Page 311, defiant surge Undying Technique, "...even if its worse." Should be 'it's' or 'it is'.
As a more general thing, on the prestige class tables, you have Base Attack Bonus centered, but the actual entries are left-aligned, while the saves and their entries are both centered. I would personally vote for both being centered...but that's just me.
Also, for the devotee and divine exorcist, I think I would personally prefer using the comma and or usage on one line than having them on multiple lines, but that is purely personal preference.
Also, is the devotee supposed to have all good saves? I mean, I'm not complaining, just wanted to check!
Luthorne wrote: I'll admit, I'm not the most mechanically-minded, but I find it hard to understand why the Carnival Animal template is only +0 to their CR. It does have the usual construct restriction of dying more easily, but it still gets construct immunities, and what seems like a host of fancy abilities, including the very nasty grab, a sonic cone attack, etc. I was also a little surprised their weightless special quality didn't give them a penalty to their CMD or have them treated as if they were a few sizes smaller...but yeah. I'm also surprised they don't seem to lose their Constitution score? Don't get me wrong, I love the concept, it just seems like it deserves a +1 or +2 to its CR. The carnival animal gets construct traits, which includes the death restriction and loss of a Constitution score.
And yes, the template should have a CR of +1. (The base CR of a lion is CR 3, but the sample carnival lion has a CR of 4.)
Also, is the devotee supposed to have all good saves? I mean, I'm not complaining, just wanted to check!
No, its actually supposed to have poor Fortitude and Reflex saves. Good catch!
Quote: Does the truespeak spell allow someone to communicate with you while under the spirit aphasia minor pact malady, and does it count as them possessing truespeech for curing it? The latter, I would guess the answer is no even if it's clearly based on the same ability, but the former I'm not sure about... Nope. This aasimar spell is a pale imitation of the truly divine ability to speak with a sentient creature's soul.
Quote: If a creature makes its save against Kaylos' sinful desire minor granted ability, does it still tell you its most sinful desire? As written it seems like it, which seems like a lot of narrative impact to potentially gain with no save, so just thought I'd make sure that's as intended. Yes. Kaylos is a 9th-level spirit—his powers SHOULD be narratively impacting. (Although its perfectly reasonable for a GM to give less damning information if the target succeeds on its save, such as by giving "the spark notes" version or a less specific account. Like, "I murdered someone" instead of "I murdered the mayor's son.")
Also, thanks for all your help Luthorne! Dario and I both appreciate it.
As someone who did a little bit of proofreading himself... I realize what kind of a job this is, and I appreciate your efforts as well. ^^
(...If I'd known we were going to keep going this way, I'd probably have kept helping. XD; I thought the cutoff for the physical book was past, though, until that update. Still! Great job!)
Page 209, Merickel's legend: "Merickel cleared land for her and built her a keep where she could father his sons."
...Bear his sons, surely?
Alexander Augunas wrote: Luthorne wrote: I'll admit, I'm not the most mechanically-minded, but I find it hard to understand why the Carnival Animal template is only +0 to their CR. It does have the usual construct restriction of dying more easily, but it still gets construct immunities, and what seems like a host of fancy abilities, including the very nasty grab, a sonic cone attack, etc. I was also a little surprised their weightless special quality didn't give them a penalty to their CMD or have them treated as if they were a few sizes smaller...but yeah. I'm also surprised they don't seem to lose their Constitution score? Don't get me wrong, I love the concept, it just seems like it deserves a +1 or +2 to its CR. The carnival animal gets construct traits, which includes the death restriction and loss of a Constitution score.
And yes, the template should have a CR of +1. (The base CR of a lion is CR 3, but the sample carnival lion has a CR of 4.) Ah, okay, in that case the sample Carnival Animal Lion still has a Constitution score of 15 (which is why I assumed they didn't lose it).
Alexander Augunas wrote: Also, thanks for all your help Luthorne! Dario and I both appreciate it. No worries! This is a really beautiful-looking book, and I can't wait to have my own copy. I'm working on Chapter 7 now, hoping to have that done today...
Page 314, Table 7-1: Armor Special Abilities lists the cost of planeswalking as being +39,200 gp, while the actual entry lists the cost as being +117,300 gp...a fair-sized discrepancy. Presuming the entry is correct, that would also put it beneath pact warding.
Page 314, guarded says it requires protection from spirits, which doesn't seem to be in this book despite the †; perhaps protection from supernatural?
Page 314, monomorphic, pact augmenting, and pact warding have, respectively, "Price +1 bonus.;", "Price +2 bonus.;", and "Price +4 bonus.;" all three have an extraneous period.
Page 314, monomorphic, true form should have a superscripted APG.
Page 314, should pact augmenting have a Caster Level instead of a Binder Level?
Page 314, planeswalking and temporal grounding have, respectively, "Price +117,300 gp ;" and "Price +3 bonus ;" Both have an extraneous space.
Page 314, planeswalking reads, "While wearing a suit of planeswalking armor..." and "...the wearer can command the planeswalking armor..." In both cases, planeswalking should be italicized.
Page 314, planeswalking Requirements seem to be the Requirements for temporal grounding; I rather suspect the spells required should be planar adaptationAPG and plane shift, and that the price should be +58,650 gp.
Page 314, temporal grounding, sands of time and flames of youth should have a †.
Page 315, Table 7-2: Weapon Special Abilities, this table is organized alphabetically instead of by price.
Page 315, exorcising, should be dismiss pact spirit, not sure if banish pact spirits should have a † in the Requirements since it does in the description, but it is sort of a separate location, so maybe.
Page 315, exorcising, exorcise pact spirits binder secret should have a †.
Page 315, exorcising burst has a CL instead of BL, despite exorcising having a BL, which, along with needing to be a binder to create these anti-binder weapons, maked me suspect it should be a BL.
Page 315, exorcising burst, more dismiss pact spirits instead of dismiss pact spirit. You also have a † on every instance of banish pact spirits and dismiss pact spirit, which I'm not sure if is as intended; also the exorcise pact spirits binder secret should have a †.
Page 315, exorcising burst reads, "If an exorcising burst weapon confirms a critical hit while it is not currently storing a banish pact spirits† or dismiss pact spirits† spell, yet if the wielder..." If/yet if doesn't really work in this context, would suggest if/and if or something similar.
Page 315, pact augmenting and pact bane have, respectively, "Price +2 bonus.;" and "Price +1 bonus.;" Both have an extraneous period.
Page 315, pact augmenting reads, "An pact augmenting weapon..." Should be 'A pact augmenting weapon'.
Page 315, pact bane refers to the pact subtype, but look at the frehmin, the ravager vessel template, the spirit imp, and the spirit-touched creature tempate, I believe it should be the occult subtype.
Page 315, pact bane, reveal heresy should have a †, and weapon of awe should have a superscripted APG.
Page 315, spirit-attuned reads, "Spirit-attuned weapons are favored implements of binders..." Spirit-attuned should be italicized.
Page 315, spirit-attuned applies a † to its own name in the description text, which no other weapon or armor special ability does. In addition, bolster binding should have a †.
Page 316, Table 7-3: Rings, this table is organized alphabetically instead of by price.
Page 316, Table 7-3: Rings, looking at the Core Rulebook and Ultimate Equipment, the header for the list of rings should be Ring.
Page 316, Table 7-3: Rings, loops of forced requisition are called a loop of forced requisition; since they come in pairs, I presume loops is correct?
Page 316, band of augmentation, bolster binding should have a †.
Page 316, loops of forced requisition reads, "The devotion ring has no effect on its wearer while worn..." Based on context in the description, should be '"devotion ring"'? (That is, it should have quotes around it.)
Page 316, loops of forced requisition, love spell has a † in the description but not the requirements.
Page 316, ring of dancing chains, chain of perdition should have a superscripted UC.
Page 316, ring of dancing chains, says you need Craft Magical Arms and Armor; shold be Craft Magic Arms and Armor.
Page 317, Table 7-4: Rods, this table is organized alphabetically instead of by price.
Page 317, Table 7-4: Rods, looking at the Core Rulebook and Ultimate Equipment, the header for the list of rods should be Rod.
Page 317, Table 7-4: Rods, on the table the torturer's implement is listed as torturer's implements.
Page 317, rod of the imprisoned letter, memorize page has a superscripted ACG in the description, but not in the Requirements.
Page 317, rod of the muse, color spray isn't italicized.
Page 317, occult infusion metamagic rod and tailored spell metamagic rod, Occult Infusion and Tailored Spell don't have a † in the Requirements section.
Page 317, tailored spell metamagic rod, the weight is listed as 5 gp instead of lbs.
Page 318, Table 7-5: Staves, above the list of staves, it says Ring. Copy/paste gremlin attacks again.
Page 316, cyclopean staff, since it has several pact spells, should it have a BL instead of a CL?
Page 318, staff of spirit binding, unlike the other two staves, the spells you can cast with this don't have the first letter capitalized.
Page 318, time twister staff, the description refers to siphon age, rather than siphon sands.
Page 318, time twister staff, the appropriate spells have a † in the description, but not in the Requirements section.
Page 319, Wondrous Items reads, "Unlike most wondrous item with which adventurers are familiar, these for use by pactmakers..." Presumably 'those for use by pactmakers'? That or 'these - intended for use by pactmakers -'.
Page 319, Table 7-6: Wondrous Items, "tooth of Lehran-Darv (1st)" is in a larger font size than the other items on the table.
Page 319, brooch of lamenting, exorcist's lament should have a †.
Page 320, cloak of constellations, bolster binding should have a †.
Page 320, dedicated vest says it requires the capstone spellcasting spell, which I believe should be the capstone surge spell. And also have a †.
Page 320, endless chalk reads, "Endless chalk is water resistant and..." Endless chalk should be italicized.
Page 320, exorcist's revealing box, reveal heresy and reveal heretic aren't italicized, and should have a †.
Page 320, goggles of spirit sight, occult sight has a † in the description, but not in the Requirements section.
Page 320, lens of scribing has "Slot -" instead of "Slot —".
Page 321, orb of soul binding, dismiss pact spirit instead of dismiss pact spirits.
Page 321, skull of questioning reads, "For each point of Constitution fed into it, a skull of questioning..." Skull of questioning should be italicized here.
Page 321, skull of questioning, augur pact in the Requirements section should have a †.
Page 322, teeth of Lehran-Darv, is it supposed to be teeth of the vassal or teeth of the vessel? The latter seems to make more sense to me off the top of my head, so thought I would check.
Page 322, Vaduuvian sphere, siphon sands in the fifth paragraph should have a †.
Page 322, Vaduuvian sphere, the paragraph that begins, "A new Vaduvian sphere..." isn't indented.
Page 323, ring of shifting smiles, "The ring of shifting miles is a modest iron band..." Should be 'ring of shifting smiles'.
Page 323, ring of shifting smiles, "...at which point the engravings on the ring of shifting smiles alters to match the wearer’s current age." Should be 'alter'. That or 'engraving' insted of 'engravings'.
Page 323, sliver of the Wyrmkin Amulet, "...this pact counts against the totel number of spirits..." Should be 'total'.
Page 323, sliver of the Wyrmkin Amulet, "...can wear all of them in her neck slot similtaneously..." Should be 'simultaneously'.
Page 323, sliver of the Wyrmkin Amulet, Destruction, "...and brought before whatever all-power entity..." Presumably 'all-powerful'?
As a general note, the rods and the staves have weight listed with lbs., while the wondrous items have weight listed with pounds written out. I lean towards lbs. myself, but it should probably be standardized either way.
I also note you don't mention the BL aspect for many of the magic items until the wondrous item section, even though they show up sporadically beforehand, probably easily missed unless one knows to check for BL instead of CL...and indeed, often oddly. For example, not sure why rod of the imprisoned letter has a binder level, since it doesn't use pact spells or have anything to do with pact magic or pact feats, nor the torturer's implement, lens of scribing, Vaduvian sphere, etc.
I also find it rather weird that - unless I'm misunderstanding how it works - it's much harder for someone without a binder level to make all these anti-pact magic items that you would think people without a binder level - such as the Order of Salendrios - would be quite interested in making.
Also, back to the divine exorcist prestige class, it says you can pick the Agents of Purity, but as far as I can see they're not currently available to select as an organization, only mentioned in the section on the Byways.
Page 325, Occult Locales, "What’s pact magic really?" While not exactly wrong, I definitely suggest 'What is pact magic, really?' instead...What's just seems so informal, to me it kind of throws off the tone.
Page 328, What are the Shadow Wars? "...dreaming up experiments to test their Theories." Is there a reason 'theories' is capitalized?
Page 328, What are the Shadow Wars? "Without the means to control those that they taught pact magic too..." Should be 'pact magic to'.
Page 329, Are All Spirits the Same? "...with the most experienced binders gaining more from low-difficulty spirits then mere pactmaking acolytes." Should be 'than mere pactmaking acolytes'.
Page 330, Do Spirits Interact? "...hold more secrets and intertwined connections then one might imagine at first glance." Should be 'than one might imagine'.
Page 330, How Can a Spirit Be in Two Pacts at Once? reads, "...a phenomena that has only ever once been recorded once..." If I recall correctly, phenomena is plural, phenomenon is singular, so I think it should be 'phenomenon'?
Page 330, How Can a Spirit Be in Two Pacts at Once? does not have the title formatted correctly; also, the first part seems to be answering Can a Spirit Be in Two Pacts at Once? instead; either the first sentence should probably be removed, or the title altered.
Page 331, Where Do the Spirits Reside? reads, "...suggesting that the Spirit Realm and its inhabits..." Should be 'inhabitants'.
Page 331, Why Were the Spirits Created? reads, "The most esoteric and philosophic of binders..." Should be 'philosophical'?
Page 332, Alignment, "...often makes the membership of these outliers shortly-lived." Should be 'short-lived', I believe?
Page 333, "...further detailed in the planar section of Chapter 7 in Pathfinder Roleplaying Game Game Mastery Guide." Should be 'in the Pathfinder Roleplaying Game GameMastery Guide'.
Page 333, Subjective Time reads, "Time moves subjective on a plane with this trait..." Should be 'subjectively'. Also, is there a reason Intelligence 9 or lower isn't a slow effect reversed by haste if low enough, unlike Intelligence 15+ being a haste effect if high enough?
Page 333, New Elemental and Energy Trait/New Magic Trait; since there's multiple of both, shouldn't it be Traits?
Page 334, Leader, totemic sage should have a †.
Page 335, "As they held on, they called out to Death, beginning for salvation." Should be 'begging', I presume?
Page 335, "657 years have passed since that faithful day..." I assume 'fateful'?
Page 335, "Rather, they are simply interested in applying the principals of pact magic..." Should be 'principles'.
Page 336, Mission Statement of the Enclave of the Closed Eye is missing a quotation mark at the end.
Page 337, "...the pactmaker used the conjoined powers of the village’s inhabits..." Should be 'inhabitants'.
Page 338, Obedience, create food and water should be italicized.
Page 339, About the Fifth Mountaintop Brigade reads, "All of the leaders of the Fifthtop Mountain Brigade..." Should be 'Fifth Mountaintop Brigade'.
Page 340, Night Watch's Oath of Service is missing a quotation mark at the end.
Page 340, "...costs an amount of Prestige equal to the gnostic tome’s spirit level..." Gnostic tome should be italicized.
Page 340, "Lead by the charismatic Father Amatovar d’Kalazon..." Should be 'led'.
Page 341, "...Father d’Kalazon is a also a devote follower of the Lord of Law..." Should be 'is also a devoted follower'.
Page 341, "...Father d’Kalazon embraced it whole-heartedly..." Isn't it just 'wholeheartedly'?
Page 342, Fey Friend, "You manage to successful defeat a fey..." Should be 'successfully'.
Page 343, "...Havokhandra the Everlasting, a hanadryad that is said to be..." Should be 'hamadryad'.
Page 343, "True they loathe society and all it stands for..." Comma after 'true'?
Page 343, About the Nightfang Adherents reads, "The Nightfang Weald is lead by a twisted hanadryad..." Should be 'hamadryad'.
Page 344, Leader, occult abolisher should have a †.
Page 346, "What is our madness, but fractured windows onto a void of days with tentacles, hours fangs, and thoughts blisters?" Shouldn't it be 'hours with fangs' and 'thoughts with blisters'? I'm also not sure about the comma after madness...
Page 346, Ravager Corruption, bestow pact malady should have a †.
Page 347, "They know well that their’s is the corruption..." Should be 'theirs'.
Page 349, About the Apocryphal Desert reads, "...and the plane attempts to grant the wishes of its inhabits..." Should be 'inhabitants', no?
Page 350, "Un-shutter that window and scramble though." Should be 'through'.
Page 350, "...this seemingly endless haze of alien landscapes and city-scapes..." Isn't it just 'cityscapes'?
Page 351, "By answering the summons of binders and teaching them to wild his power..." Should be 'wield'.
Page 351, "...and most who go their at all are never seen again." Should be 'there'.
Page 351, "...hallucinations of supernatural woods whose description bares many similarities to..." Should be 'bears'.
Page 352, "Gravity intensifies to progressive gravity as a creature moves towards the roof of the woods (its “canopy”)." I found this wording confusing, even after consulting the entry; might I suggest 'intensifies progressively' or 'intensifies in a progressive manner'?
Page 352, "The Nightfang Weald’s gravity increases to heavy gravity for within its understory..." 'for those within' or 'for creatures within'?
Page 353, "...including wicked fey and carnivorous monstosities." Should be 'monstrosities'.
Page 353, "Adherents are brought to these lodges in order to perfect their binding arts within the baleful gaze of the gods peering down upon them..." 'without' seems to make more sense than 'within'?
The other thing that I found mildly frustrating was having the new planar rules up with the organization rules, and the new planes under the organizations...I would have much rather have had the organization rules, the organizations, the new planar rules, the new planes...but might be too tricky to rearrange in regards to space, I just wanted to grumble about that a little.
And whew...I'm done! Thanks for your patience, and sorry I didn't get this done sooner! I'm sure I missed some things...but ah, well, can't be helped. I look forward to the final product!
*Sets off a few noisemakers in celebration*
Same thing as last time, got an email saying that the book has been updated. Now there's 3 copies of it, all with the same name. Is there a quick way to tell which one is most updated one? I can post file sizes or something if they'd help.
Edit: This is on drivethru by the way. Not sure about this on other sites
I downloaded them all, and the actual files had no number, (1), and (2). I believe (2) is the most recent file.
There's a version number and date on page 2.
Pathfinder Maps, Pathfinder Accessories Subscriber; Pathfinder Roleplaying Game Charter Superscriber; Starfinder Charter Superscriber
Weird, the PDF shows up all black background with mostly unreadable grey text and renders extremely slowly.
I know everyone's pointed the multiple copies problem already and pointed out the version #, but I thought a screencap could help illustrate what the issue is, exactly.
Pathfinder Maps, Pathfinder Accessories Subscriber; Pathfinder Roleplaying Game Charter Superscriber; Starfinder Charter Superscriber
As far as I can tell the three files are the same versions.
I have passed along reports of the issue to Dario. Hopefully we'll get it sorted out soon.
Dario says he fixed the issue-please check DriveThru and keep me posted.
Evil Midnight Lurker wrote: There's a version number and date on page 2. Just checked on drivethru, literally all 3 of them say Version 1.2 - October 3rd.
So I guess that means that the older ones got replaced out and these ones are the ones to use. They all have different file sizes, but are almost exactly the same.
Also yeah, i'm still seeing the 3 separate files to download.
We are contacting DriveThru to try and fix the issue.
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After tons of hard work and sacrifice, the Grimoire of Lost Souls is available at the Paizo webstore, with print versions for backers et all forthcoming!
Please take any further conversations you have regarding this product to the linked product thread. Thank you for your hard work, determination, and patronage! You all have Dario and my sincerest thanks for all the help you gave us during the playtesting phases of this book!
So, I know I am REALLY late to this and all, but I am FINALLY getting a chance to actually play a Pactmaker, and I was wondering if there is still a forum somewhere that is active for players\devs\GMs regarding GoLS?
Nephelim wrote: ... is still a forum somewhere that is active for players\devs\GMs regarding GoLS? --> search of 3rd party product advice
The Reviews are here circa 2017-19.
The discussion thread is older and really is more about ordering but you could read it to see if what you want is embedded somewhere in it. This thread is discussing many topics so it is more likely above in rough form. ^^^
I'm not sure if "Radiance House" hosts a discussion on Game products as it seems to be a corporate name used by one author for other topics. The co-author Alex.A may know of a thread but there's no "Ask Alex anything" thread... 8^| so try that first link above.
Azothath wrote: Nephelim wrote: ... is still a forum somewhere that is active for players\devs\GMs regarding GoLS? --> search of 3rd party product advice
thanks!
Recent threads in Product Discussion
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