So, see this line of squiggles here? That spells out the words "Glubbo the happy goblin goes boink!" Should we move on to the next page?
GAH! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
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Only at the 1000 unit level and above. Hunt can only mix so much at any one time.Hmm, do you give bulk discounts?
Dealing with succubi on the moon?
Tired of feeling listless and drained of life after frolicking with your favorite lust demon? Worried that your cracked and rapidly aging hide will grate against her smooth skin? Well step right up and get Master Pugwampi's Sure Fire Succubus Balm! This cream will smooth out that skin so all the energy draining and life sucking kisses and caresses won't mark you at all! You will look your pristine self right up until you drop! Made from aloe, the tears of widows, spider...um...stuff, and many other unpronounceable ingredients! Some represented only by an elder rune! Only 10 pp a dose! A real bargain! Get it today!
Possible side effects include hair loss, jaundice, increased susceptibility to energy drain, thickening nose hair, and sudden urges to slap people with fish. Consult your local gremlin union affiliate should any of these occur to brighten their day with a good laugh.
{continues to stomp on spiders in wine vat} Ugh, this is worse than Infernal spin class.
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{continues to stomp on spiders in wine vat} Ugh, this is worse than Infernal spin class.Only at the 1000 unit level and above. Hunt can only mix so much at any one time.Hmm, do you give bulk discounts?
Dealing with succubi on the moon?
Tired of feeling listless and drained of life after frolicking with your favorite lust demon? Worried that your cracked and rapidly aging hide will grate against her smooth skin? Well step right up and get Master Pugwampi's Sure Fire Succubus Balm! This cream will smooth out that skin so all the energy draining and life sucking kisses and caresses won't mark you at all! You will look your pristine self right up until you drop! Made from aloe, the tears of widows, spider...um...stuff, and many other unpronounceable ingredients! Some represented only by an elder rune! Only 10 pp a dose! A real bargain! Get it today!
Possible side effects include hair loss, jaundice, increased susceptibility to energy drain, thickening nose hair, and sudden urges to slap people with fish. Consult your local gremlin union affiliate should any of these occur to brighten their day with a good laugh.
Next time try Succbi pin class. Much better pay off and takes longer to plateau.
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Every Goblin meme needs a story.
Stabbyface.
Male goblin magus 1 (Pathfinder RPG Bestiary 156, Pathfinder RPG Ultimate Magic 9)
NE Small humanoid (goblinoid)
Init +4; Senses darkvision 60 ft.; Perception +1
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Defense
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AC 18, touch 15, flat-footed 14 (+3 armor, +4 Dex, +1 size)
hp 11 (1d8+3)
Fort +4, Ref +4, Will +3
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Offense
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Speed 30 ft.
Melee dogslicer +5 (1d4+1/19-20) or
dogslicer +5 (1d4+1/19-20)
Ranged javelin +5 (1d4+1)
Special Attacks arcane pool (+1, 4 points), spell combat
Magus Spells Prepared (CL 1st; concentration +4)
1st—burning hands (DC 14), magic missile
0 (at will)—acid splash, detect magic, spark[APG] (DC 13)
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Statistics
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Str 13, Dex 18, Con 14, Int 16, Wis 12, Cha 10
Base Atk +0; CMB +0; CMD 14
Feats Weapon Finesse
Traits amoral mercenary, dangerously curious
Skills Knowledge (arcana) +7, Knowledge (planes) +7, Ride +7, Sense Motive +2, Spellcraft +7, Stealth +15, Use Magic Device +5; Racial Modifiers +4 Ride, +4 Stealth
Languages Common, Goblin, Halfling, Orc
SQ manifestation points, ability scores
Other Gear studded leather, dogslicer[ARG], dogslicer[ARG], javelin (5), backpack, bedroll, belt pouch, flint and steel, hemp rope (50 ft.), ink, inkpen, mess kit[UE], pot, spell component pouch, torch (10), trail rations (5), waterskin, 112 gp
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Special Abilities
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Arcane Pool +1 (4/day) (Su) Infuse own power into a held weapon, granting enhancement bonus or selected item powers.
Darkvision (60 feet) You can see in the dark (black and white only).
Manifestation Points, Ability Scores ([none], 13/psychic duel) Every combatant begins a psychic duel with a pool of MP equal to the combatant’s HD + the average of her Intelligence, Wisdom, and Charisma scores. As a free action, a combatant can draw from this pool to generate MP. A combatant who draws any numb
Spell Combat (Ex) Use a weapon with one hand at -2 and cast a spell with the other.
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Stabbyface, like many Goblins, was born in a s$!&hole, and promptly thrown into a cage. However Stabbyface thrive, and he becomeses the first in his cage nots to die, or chew off any appendiges. big momses BooBoo even giveses me chickens to fight with a Dogslicer occasionally.
All that changed, the day the Longshanks invaded, in their shiny armors. Oh, how its blinds me still thinking abouts it. They took poor little Stabbyfaces away to a big orphanage, there they makeses me learn wordses! from bookses, poor Stabbyface, so much was stolen froms me.
Itries to gets them back by making shrineses to bigs mama monster, but they takeses my squirrel collection aways, then burns me with their water.
But then Stabbyface finds the wordses they dont want me to find, the wordses that make things burn, so Stabby face learnses burny pain wordses, then he burns that s$#*hole to the groundses, Stabbyface thinks it lookses better this way.
Editor’s note: Stabbyface was born in a s*@@ty warren in Isger, which was then invaded by Paladins of Iomedae, who took Stabbyface and his siblings back to their orphanage on the outskirts of Cheliax.
While Stabbyface believes reading his spellbooks steal the words from his brain, the act of casting spell is too intoxicating for him to give it up. Still the actual act of reading his spellbooks cause him visible distress, as he grumbles and chews and bangs his head against it, even absently licking his spell book.
While Stabbyface has almost no concept of fashion, he has a weakness for fine cloaks, and is willing to murder to get one, and is very upfront about it.
Regarding stories...
On this page, we see Glubbo the happy goblin. See how happy he is, Captain Killjoy? You see, he is playing with a BALL. B-A-L-L. The ball is RED. And below the pretty picture, the letters say "Glubbo is happy. Glubbo has a ball. Glubbo likes the ball. Glubbo plays with the ball!"
Do you need me to go through the exact words for you, Captain Killjoy?
For PFS, i have a as of yet no race/gender/face revealed PC, because...masked and non revealing mantle/cloak mystery character.
I don't type stuff tipping scales towards either side.
The party, and GM currently too, are now referring to 'he/his' in their posts.
I'd be fine playing either, but an aspect of mystery is being shaved off by assumption.
With this assumption of theirs, and my preference of a character of whom nothing is known, you might feel my question coming up.
What would be, i'm still brainstorming myself, a stylish unexpected way, to reveal my PC then being a lady, opposed to a guy.
One that came to mind, if ever taking a severe blow (crit for style), the mask comes loose and bounces the floor a few times, before face reveal.
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For PFS, i have a as of yet no race/gender/face revealed PC, because...masked and non revealing mantle/cloak mystery character.
I don't type stuff tipping scales towards either side.
The party, and GM currently too, are now referring to 'he/his' in their posts.
I'd be fine playing either, but an aspect of mystery is being shaved off by assumption.With this assumption of theirs, and my preference of a character of whom nothing is known, you might feel my question coming up.
What would be, i'm still brainstorming myself, a stylish unexpected way, to reveal my PC then being a lady, opposed to a guy.
One that came to mind, if ever taking a severe blow (crit for style), the mask comes loose and bounces the floor a few times, before face reveal.
Do the characters assume she is male, or is just the players?
I hadn't set on either side, but with them assuming one, i'm going the other.
PCs obviously assume, as they are acting to 'him/he'.
But by doing so, their players are, i reckon.
They probably forgot a few earlier hints on the concept of 'mystery person'.
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I hadn't set on either side, but with them assuming one, i'm going the other.
PCs obviously assume, as they are acting to 'him/he'.
But by doing so, their players are, i reckon.They probably forgot a few earlier hints on the concept of 'mystery person'.
*scratches head* Sorry to took me so long.
Hmm, could always f$@& up a ringwraith?
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{continues to stomp on spiders in wine vat} Ugh, this is worse than Infernal spin class.Only at the 1000 unit level and above. Hunt can only mix so much at any one time.Hmm, do you give bulk discounts?
Dealing with succubi on the moon?
Tired of feeling listless and drained of life after frolicking with your favorite lust demon? Worried that your cracked and rapidly aging hide will grate against her smooth skin? Well step right up and get Master Pugwampi's Sure Fire Succubus Balm! This cream will smooth out that skin so all the energy draining and life sucking kisses and caresses won't mark you at all! You will look your pristine self right up until you drop! Made from aloe, the tears of widows, spider...um...stuff, and many other unpronounceable ingredients! Some represented only by an elder rune! Only 10 pp a dose! A real bargain! Get it today!
Possible side effects include hair loss, jaundice, increased susceptibility to energy drain, thickening nose hair, and sudden urges to slap people with fish. Consult your local gremlin union affiliate should any of these occur to brighten their day with a good laugh.
But...I gave you the BIG stompy boots! :(
I hadn't set on either side, but with them assuming one, i'm going the other.
PCs obviously assume, as they are acting to 'him/he'.
But by doing so, their players are, i reckon.They probably forgot a few earlier hints on the concept of 'mystery person'.
*scratches head* Sorry to took me so long.
Hmm, could always f*%* up a ringwraith?
That is a good one...:)
Though the Tolkien nerd in me makes me correct you in one thing...only the Witch-King had that...issue.
Now I need to be punished...
Regarding stories...
On this page, we see Glubbo the happy goblin. See how happy he is, Captain Killjoy? You see, he is playing with a BALL. B-A-L-L. The ball is RED. And below the pretty picture, the letters say "Glubbo is happy. Glubbo has a ball. Glubbo likes the ball. Glubbo plays with the ball!"
Do you need me to go through the exact words for you, Captain Killjoy?
Pfft, words're coming out of YOUR silly head, not mine! GOOD LUCK GETTING THEM BACK!
Well, you see, these six squiggles spell out "Glubbo". I think you will find you recognize them every single time they come up...
But let us turn the page to further adventure.
Here, Glubbo throws the ball, and it hits the sofa. The letters say: "Glubbo throws the ball! The ball hits the sofa! The ball bounces! Bad glubbo!"
See how you now recognize the word "Glubbo" every time it appears?
Nope! SAVED BY MY GOBLINESQUE ATTENTION SPAN!
... And my seething love/hate relationship with popcorn.
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I hadn't set on either side, but with them assuming one, i'm going the other.
PCs obviously assume, as they are acting to 'him/he'.
But by doing so, their players are, i reckon.They probably forgot a few earlier hints on the concept of 'mystery person'.
*scratches head* Sorry to took me so long.
Hmm, could always f*%* up a ringwraith?
That is a good one...:)
Though the Tolkien nerd in me makes me correct you in one thing...only the Witch-King had that...issue.
Now I need to be punished...
*gets out paddle*
*scratches side of head with it*
I thought the Witch-King was a Ringwraith?
On the next page, Glubbo the happy goblin gets the ball in his head, causing a loud BOINK!!! Ooooh, the action is heating up!
"Glubbo bounced the ball off the sofa! The ball flies back at Glubbo! The ball hits Glubbo on the head! Glubbo goes boink!"
Finally! Some real action in the story that involves violence and/or accidental injury. Really slow start there.
And what's up with no songs?!?
LIES! GOBLINS ARE THE GREATEST SONGMAKERS IN THE UNIVERSE!
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Sissyl sits and Sissyl reads,
but not about that which bleeds!
If Goblins follow where this leads,
Make quick with the violent deeds!
>:(
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SUCCUBI
ALWAYS LIE
SO I POKE THEM
IN THE EYE!
THOSE WHO CURSE
GOBLIN VERSE
SEEM TO END UP
IN A HEARSE!
HEARSES BURN
EACH IN TURN
THEN WE SCOOP THEM
INTO AN URN!
Which we then use as a crude chamber pot/projectile combination, but the meter is proving a bit tricky, hang on, hang on...
Perhaps rhyming "fling" with "sing"?
The hard part is finding a good, solid rhyme for "maggoty..."
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SUCCUBI
ALWAYS LIE
SO I POKE THEM
IN THE EYE!THOSE WHO CURSE
GOBLIN VERSE
SEEM TO END UP
IN A HEARSE!HEARSES BURN
EACH IN TURN
THEN WE SCOOP THEM
INTO AN URN!Which we then use as a crude chamber pot/projectile combination, but the meter is proving a bit tricky, hang on, hang on...
I don't always lie.
And that's not where we like being poked.
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{shoots Captain Killjoy with several pugwampi-themed tranquilizer darts} AH-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA! No one arches the succubus but me, the cleverly disguised —
{runs off cackling}
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... I think the spider fumes have finally gone to Hunt's head.{shoots Captain Killjoy with several pugwampi-themed tranquilizer darts} AH-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA! No one arches the succubus but me, the cleverly disguised —
{runs off cackling}
Wha-?! No, no, no! I'm definitely not Hunt, even though I'm almost as dashing and handsome and smrt as he is... I... I've never even met this Hunt fellow!
I'm {trips over wastebasket} I meant to do that, scattering your precious crumpled paper balls and discarded detritus all over the floor! AH-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA! {runs off slightly limping}
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... I think the spider fumes have finally gone to Hunt's head.{shoots Captain Killjoy with several pugwampi-themed tranquilizer darts} AH-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA! No one arches the succubus but me, the cleverly disguised —
{runs off cackling}
Wha-?! No, no, no! I'm definitely not Hunt, even though I'm almost as dashing and handsome and smrt as he is... I... I've never even met this Hunt fellow!
I'm {trips over wastebasket} I meant to do that, scattering your precious crumpled paper balls and discarded detritus all over the floor! AH-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA! {runs off slightly limping}
Yeah, crumpled paper balls and detritus, that's what was in there...
>.>
<.<
Um, Wumpums? Could you stop Hunt before he hurts himself? Or my furniture?
It seems there is quite a menagerie of small things running around in this thread...
Anyways. On page four, we see the consequences of senseless violence! Glubbo is not a happy goblin. He cries and weeps for having his head hit by the ball!
"Glubbo's head hurts. Glubbo cries! Stupid ball!"
...the sensational literature continues, does it not? By the way, Rysky, what say we distribute "Glubbo the happy goblin goes boink!" to every ship in the region? Then we don't have to worry that the Captain is without access to educational reading material.
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It seems there is quite a menagerie of small things running around in this thread...
Anyways. On page four, we see the consequences of senseless violence! Glubbo is not a happy goblin. He cries and weeps for having his head hit by the ball!
"Glubbo's head hurts. Glubbo cries! Stupid ball!"
...the sensational literature continues, does it not? By the way, Rysky, what say we distribute "Glubbo the happy goblin goes boink!" to every ship in the region? Then we don't have to worry that the Captain is without access to educational reading material.
You make a fair point Sissyl.
Wait, isn't there a written exam for one's Captain's test?
... I think the spider fumes have finally gone to Hunt's head.{shoots Captain Killjoy with several pugwampi-themed tranquilizer darts} AH-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA! No one arches the succubus but me, the cleverly disguised —
{runs off cackling}
Wha-?! No, no, no! I'm definitely not Hunt, even though I'm almost as dashing and handsome and smrt as he is... I... I've never even met this Hunt fellow!
I'm {trips over wastebasket} I meant to do that, scattering your precious crumpled paper balls and discarded detritus all over the floor! AH-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA! {runs off slightly limping}
Yeah, crumpled paper balls and detritus, that's what was in there...
>.>
<.<
Um, Wumpums? Could you stop Hunt before he hurts himself? Or my furniture?
Are you kidding? This is the most entertaining he's been in the longest time! I'm going to get the other gremlins. They need to see this!
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... I think the spider fumes have finally gone to Hunt's head.{shoots Captain Killjoy with several pugwampi-themed tranquilizer darts} AH-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA! No one arches the succubus but me, the cleverly disguised —
{runs off cackling}
Wha-?! No, no, no! I'm definitely not Hunt, even though I'm almost as dashing and handsome and smrt as he is... I... I've never even met this Hunt fellow!
I'm {trips over wastebasket} I meant to do that, scattering your precious crumpled paper balls and discarded detritus all over the floor! AH-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA! {runs off slightly limping}
Yeah, crumpled paper balls and detritus, that's what was in there...
>.>
<.<
Um, Wumpums? Could you stop Hunt before he hurts himself? Or my furniture?
Are you kidding? This is the most entertaining he's been in the longest time! I'm going to get the other gremlins. They need to see this!
Don't forget to bring a camera!
And more popcorn!
*puts empty bucket over Captain Killjoy's head*
I hadn't set on either side, but with them assuming one, i'm going the other.
PCs obviously assume, as they are acting to 'him/he'.
But by doing so, their players are, i reckon.They probably forgot a few earlier hints on the concept of 'mystery person'.
*scratches head* Sorry to took me so long.
Hmm, could always f*%* up a ringwraith?
That is a good one...:)
Though the Tolkien nerd in me makes me correct you in one thing...only the Witch-King had that...issue.
Now I need to be punished...
*gets out paddle*
*scratches side of head with it*
I thought the Witch-King was a Ringwraith?
He was....but he was the only Ring Waith to have that special requirement to kill him. So it would be more accurate to have said...
" Hmm, could always f!@# up the witch king? "
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I hadn't set on either side, but with them assuming one, i'm going the other.
PCs obviously assume, as they are acting to 'him/he'.
But by doing so, their players are, i reckon.They probably forgot a few earlier hints on the concept of 'mystery person'.
*scratches head* Sorry to took me so long.
Hmm, could always f*%* up a ringwraith?
That is a good one...:)
Though the Tolkien nerd in me makes me correct you in one thing...only the Witch-King had that...issue.
Now I need to be punished...
*gets out paddle*
*scratches side of head with it*
I thought the Witch-King was a Ringwraith?
He was....but he was the only Ring Waith to have that special requirement to kill him. So it would be more accurate to have said...
" Hmm, could always f!@# up the witch king? "
Hmm, good point.
*drags Kretzer into sound proof office*
It seems there is quite a menagerie of small things running around in this thread...
Anyways. On page four, we see the consequences of senseless violence! Glubbo is not a happy goblin. He cries and weeps for having his head hit by the ball!
"Glubbo's head hurts. Glubbo cries! Stupid ball!"
...the sensational literature continues, does it not? By the way, Rysky, what say we distribute "Glubbo the happy goblin goes boink!" to every ship in the region? Then we don't have to worry that the Captain is without access to educational reading material.
HAHAHAHAHA! Glubbo's stupid!
And I passed my Captain's test by burning the building down and killing the other captains... good times, good ti-
Um...Hunt...I mean Blue Pugwampho...what exactly are we going to do with an unconscious goblin dressed as a pirate?
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Earl-aye in the morning?
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Earl-aye in the morning?
Yay! Sea chanty!
♪♫ Hoorah! And up she rises
Hoorah! And up she rises
Hoorah! And up she rises
Early in the morning.♪♫
♪♫ What shall we do with a drunken goblin?
What shall we do with a drunken goblin?
What shall we do with a drunken goblin?
Early in the morning.♪♫
♪♫ Put him in the long-boat and make him bail her.
Put him in the long-boat and make him bail her.
Put him in the long-boat and make him bail her.
Early in the morning.♪♫
♪♫ Put him in the bilge and make him drink it.
Put him in the bilge and make him drink it.
Put him in the bilge and make him drink it.
Early in the morning.♪♫
♪♫ Shave his belly with a rusty razor.
Shave his belly with a rusty razor.
Shave his belly with a rusty razor.
Early in the morning.♪♫
♪♫ Weigh heigh and up she rises
Weigh heigh and up she rises
Weigh heigh and up she rises
Early in the morning.♪♫
Ooh! Now THAT'S high culture!!!
:D