PAGES 8, 9
Ghost Moon Bow - Voted for and against. It's a neat idea, but needs some mechanical polish. I think there should be a range limitation on knowing where the target is, for example, as well as a duration. I think that was intended in both cases, but it's not expressed.
Sidereal Blade - Voted mostly for. Liked the name. Too much dmg vs outsiders. In the end, though, it's close to a spell in a can. Conjures some cool potential, but it doesn't live up to it.
Mithral Shirt of Concealment - Voted mostly against. Some nice imagery, but the effect isn't that interesting. At least it's something that would likely get used every session.
Rings of Shared Power - Voted mostly against. Personal biases against items that come in pairs (what if there's only one found? What if one is lost?) and against items that allow class feature sharing. Too meta for me.
Fraud's Rod - Voted mostly against. As you mention, there was a similar item in a previous year. Also, it's just not something that players would use often. More of an NPC item.
Broken Gambit Shield - Voted mostly against. I didn't like what it does. Sort of the idea behind it seems to be that the wearer would be attacked for looking weak, and then there's the compulsion to keep attacking them. Just doesn't feel heroic to me.
Coiling Poison Staff - Voted mostly against. As you say, class specific probably hurt you, but then it doesn't do much exciting even then. There's got to be a cool snake/staff idea out there!
Rod of Gravity - Voted for and against. One of several gravity items. None of them clicked for me, and I'm not entirely sure why. I think part of it is that this one does exactly what I'd expect it to do, and it doesn't really surprise me in any way.
Ring of the Deific Caster - Voted mostly against. An uncommon trigger the wearer can't control. Would be sort of annoying to use as a player, waiting for it to be triggered.
PAGE 10
Spelldrinker - Voted mostly against. I think I may have given this one less credit than it deserved during voting. The mechanic of causing a spell to be lost on a crit isn't inspiring, but there's some nice touches on the other side with what happens with that energy. Not superstar, but not bad either.
Glacial Crusher - Voted mostly against. A little too basic in what it does. There was another item that played with a cold resistance debuff that showed a more inspiring direction to explore.
Quill of the Peacock Spirit - Voted mostly against. Expensive for what it does. Like the Golarian-fu. Name may have hurt you with voters. Effects don't seem very suited for a weapon.
Heaven's Tether - Voted for and against. Like the visuals. Coherent theme. Special power seems useful on only limited circumstances, though, and isn't too exciting.
Up Chuck - Voted mostly against. Awful name, I'm sure it cost you many votes. Limited to halflings. Effect lacks mojo.
Ring of Insight - Don't remember this one from voting. Once per day rings will spend a lot of time in pockets instead of on fingers. Seeing the future is dangerous ground to tread, but you deal with it reasonably. I'd rather see the 1d10 roll happen at the time of the modified event rather than in advance.
Glitterbane - Voted mostly against. Name hurt it. Also, the two effects seem like a pretty random combination. I'm missing what this was aiming at.
Knife of the Consummate Chef - Voted mostly against. Felt it was borderline as a weapon. Description makes it feel unique. Scales based on a skill few PCs will have or want to take. "GM's discretion" is a phrase to avoid if at all possible. The impulse to go in this direction is fine, it's just wrong for this contest.
Scale of the Final King - Voted mostly against. Not sure where the name came from. Not a fan of a shield of whatever resistance you happen to need at the moment. Having said that, it is shield-y.
PAGES 11,12
Rod of Divine Empowerment - Don't remember this from voting. I like the idea of it. I'm a little unclear about it working if you don't need healing. Feels like it could be exploitable if it works in that case. I think if this was tighter and maybe had some visuals it would have a shot.
Acanavore - Voted mostly for. Primarily because it was a magic polearm and we didn't see enough of those. Having said that, that power seems like it could get out of control fast. For one thing, the more it's boosted, the more likely it is to be successful at getting another boost. Whee! The mechanic is overly complicated in general, tracking it all would be a job in itself.
Impenetrable Pelt - Voted mostly for. I liked the theme of it, but felt it needed that next level to give it a chance.
Covenskein Net - Voted mostly for. I like nets. I like the flavor of this a great deal, could have used more of it. The killer flaw is all that strength damage with no save. Deadly.
Brother's Guard - Voted for and against. Stays well with its theme, the theme just needed a bit more spark. Nothing is surprising about it.
Molten Belcher - Voted for and against. Seem cheap for what it does. It does seem shield-y. But it's not too exciting. There's probably a good idea in here, it just needs to be pushed further.
Serpent's Tongue - Mostly voted against. I like the flavor about molding its shape. The mechanics aren't as clear as they could be. Also seems that the situation needed for this would be rare in regular play. They have to be stabbed and poisoned, and then hours later drink a potion. That's more likely to happen against the PCs than against someone they're stabbing (who will probably end the encounter dead, after all).
Ring of the Medic - Mostly voted against. Not crazy about the name. Tables kill you with voters, fairly or not. I think it implies a lack of focus for the item in people's minds. That said, the core idea of this is interesting, and ring-y. What got me was the bookkeeping for the increasing DCs. In practice, I suspect this would get lost in the shuffle. Package this a little neater and it might work.
Manticore Fist - Voted for and against. I liked the theme, but it's just not that exciting. It does what it sounds like it would do, but isn't surprising in good ways either.
PAGES 13,14,15,16,17,18,19
Caught up, miraculously. Happy to respond to any comments or questions.
Spanwhammer - Mostly voted against. Really disliked the name. I appreciate the Golarian ties in the text, but gotta watch having too much backstory. The dispel mechanic could be clearer. I'd focus on that more than the sunder, and add some visual hook to the dispel too.
Blood Magic Dagger - Don't remember from voting. I get the idea of it, and if it was tightened up it could be a decent item. Needs something more for superstar. Voters have a bias against items with drawbacks, but that doesn't mean this couldn't work somehow.
Stormcrow Tomahawk - Mostly voted against. Just not that much excitement. It's got a decent visual, but not a lot else. An appropriate item for some NPCs for flavor, though.
Tormentor - Mostly voted against. Lost me at "chainsaw", whether it's in the rules or not. The evil-goriness of it probably lost the rest of the voters.
Staff of the Imperials - Don't remember it from voting. Hits my personal bias against one-of-each-element items. Feels like a SAK.
Rod of Brilliant Steps - Mostly voted for. I liked the theme, not sure I got why you'd be protected from cloudkill though. Also, similar to an item from RPGSS a few years ago.
Ring of the Champion - Mostly voted against. Background makes it seem unique. Item is cursed, and though this curse does fit rather well, it's still a curse. I like that you played with the cavalier rules, and did so in ways that made sense.
Ghostpike Longspear - Mostly voted for. I like the idea of it as a repositioning tool for the incorporeal. Probably needs better visuals for that, though, and something more. Not crazy about auto-warning of incorporeal in the area.
Bodyguard Armor - Mostly voted against. Yeah, the material explanation was wasted word count. Also buries the interesting stuff further down. As described, it seems a little too literally for courtly bodyguards, and would benefit from being more generally applicable.
Scimitar of Dancing Lightning - Mostly voted against. Second power doesn't seem like it would come up often. First power is essentially giving the weapon a ranged touch attack. Would have liked it to do more.
Ring of the Champion, the second - Mostly voted against. Takes up too many slots from the party as a whole for what it does. I like what it does, it just needs to be less slot-intensive about it.
Soulfire Band - Don't remember this from voting. Good visuals. Probably too eeeeevil for many voters. Seems like it's exploitable via the bag o' rats method.
Ring of Retrospection - Consistently voted against. Simply too metagamey.
Ring of Adaptive Weaponry - Mostly voted against. Text is almost all background. Effect is useful but too basic for the contest.
Rod of Bounding Flame - Voted for and against. I liked the ideas. Moving fire squares around could be useful. The pogostick of fireballs is cool too, but maybe a little goofy visual-wise.
Campaign Staff - Voted for and against. Name is a (likely unintentional) pun about political campaigns. Powers all tied to its theme, but nothing new or surprising. Workable staff, though.
Ancestor's Breastplate - Don't remember it from voting. There's something in the idea of the guiding hands of ancestors in your armor, but this item seems to just be a SAK. Pick one aspect of it and run with that.
Shield of the Eye - Mostly voted against. Never like autodetect, and this not only autodetects undead, it autodetects a lich's phylactery.
Catapulting Full Plate - Voted for and against. I admit, I liked the idea of suddenly turning into a rock and hurtling across the battlefield. I'm not sure it's very armor-y though. Some mechanical questions, and also feels like it's possible to misuse this horribly.
Staff of the Beast Within - Mostly voted against. Thematically tight, just a little bland. I liked the touch with calm emotions.
Scales of the Scarab - Mostly voted against. Actually kinda neat with the scarab flavor, but it suffers from the "only works when you're dead" problem.
Staff of Duergar Enslavement - Mostly voted against. I like that it looks like a stalactite. Spell list is appropriate, if grim. But why would a Duergar want to turn their slaves into Duergar? How would that help maintain discipline?
Blackmail - Mostly voted for. Looking at it now, it confuses me mechanically. I *think* the idea is that you can place any number of marks on any number of creatures, and then curse one at a time when you want (assuming proximity). The name is punny, especially given what it does.
Bonewarp Chain - One of my personal favorites. I thought the powers were thematically tight, useful, and visually evocative. Possible it was too squicky with voters, though.
Staff of Infiltation - Don't recall this from voting. Nice tight theme. I like that it makes no sound when it touches something. Always good to have the little details. Your original spell list is fine. This would be an ok item in a book, but it needs something more for the contest.
Oh, and you seemed to act as if a DC 20 UMD check was hard. That's ridiculously easy. Someone with 10 Charisma can auto succeed by taking 10 by level 7, if they have it as a class skill (which just about anyone can and will have thanks to traits). DC: 20 is no barrier.
Just wanted to respond to/point out an error in your gameplay though --- you can NEVER take a 10 on Use Magic Device (I don't know of any class ability or feat either that lets you). So you're example falls apart.
From the PRD on Use Magic Device:
Special: You cannot take 10 with this skill. You can't aid another on Use Magic Device checks. Only the user of the item may attempt such a check.
DC 20 isn't "impossible" or anything, but it's also NEVER as easy as you're trying to think or imply. Your 7th level character actually only has a +10 then to make the check, so fails 1/2 the time. And that's IF they built that way (it's a class skill, despite not having the Chr).
Also, the only trait I could find on the PRD that gives you Use Magic Device as a class skill is: Dangerously Curious, which is nice, but there are plenty of other traits people might take.
And I don't know of any feats that give it to you as a class skill, so only Rogues, Sorcerers, and Bards (by Core) get it as a class skill. I'm sure some Base classes do too. But few classes have skill points to spend on just anything, so unless you're going for that build (a fighter with a focus in using magic items, for instance) it can be trickier than you seem to think.
I think you even NEED to have at least put 1 rank in the skill to even try as it can't be used "untrained".
TL;DNR: Thank you for the critique!
Bonewarp Chain
Filler -- From the name I was expecting a weapon -- but chainmail, ok. If giving you a fuller-range of motion was the purpose of this armor, I'd have thought it would be made of mithral to get those bonuses (lighter, etc.). Just because you can spin your head in 360 doesn't mean you should gain All-Around Vision --- that, I thought, was more for creatures with no front or that have "eyes in the back of their head" all the time... not just can spin their head like an owl does. Auto-free from pin is likely powerful. The sickened thing is fitting in all, but these are people that see living oozes, aberrants, and walking dead at any given moment without tossing their cookies..., but the Fort save is fairly low, so ok. Be great to give to villain and have them mess with the PCs
I think people didn't like it because it's an odd item that, while "neat" is kind of too gruesome.
Staff of Infiltration (Submitted to RPGS)
Filler - Staff of the Sneaky Thief in my House! Not a comment on your name, just my feeling reading this item. I like the idea. For the cost, I think I'm fine with the spell selection, but Phloid's rebuild isn't bad. I think it didn't move ahead because it's not an especially interesting design space. Staff of the Cat Bugler. Well enough made for what all it is though.
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You can't Take 10 on Use Magic Device
That's good to know--obviously, I missed the special line, and I appreciate learning more about the game.
A lot more classes have UMD as a class skill than you seem to think (do you really use just Core?): Alchemist, Arcanist, Bard, Investigator, Magus, Rogue, Skald, Sorcerer, Summoner, Witch.
I do fully expect that a lot of characters will take Dangerously Curious--if the party doesn't have the arcane and divine bases covered, it's far more likely to come up. I've also seen many of the Int classes above taking Pragmatic Activator, if they weren't taking the metamagic traits, instead.
Further, the power of these sorts of items is their noncombat utility--DC 20 isn't that hard to hit, but if you fail, you can just do it again as long as you don't roll a 1.
However, I will admit, that while every character I've played in Pathfinder so far had UMD maxed, and I see tons of builds with it maxed and posts recommending it, I will also say that I've never actually seen anyone roll it in actual play.
That was mostly an issue when I didn't understand how your staff worked, though. Now, it'll only come up if you, say, pay a caster in town to cast into your staff or something. Interesting points.
It is really getting hard to keeping going on these reviews. I wish I had stuck to short and sweet ones like others. Almost done, though. The end is in sight...
So, what am I looking for, here, when I judge these items? Well, my crtique is going to be a little different than most others because my primary focus is on rules knowledge, clarity/simplicity, and usability. You can come up with the most creative item on the planet, but if nobody is going to actually use it in a real game, who cares? And it doesn't matter if nobody uses it because it's obviously too strong, too weak for its price, too confusing/complicated to actually adjudicate at the table, or just too niche to have an actual target audience.
What I am generally not looking at is flavor text. Descriptions of your item will only hurt if the item evokes imagery I dislike. I care about theme, of course, but a crow item that blinds and has pilfering hand in it is thematic enough--I don't need to read about what different kinds of dark wood were used and how many crow parts are sticking out of it. Honestly, I'm just going to describe your item however I like when I run the game anyway.
Finally, know that I did not read any other critiques of your item yet. These are all my first thoughts based only on the item itself, so, I apologize if I repeat things others have said already.
Now, let's get to it!
The cone is actually pretty good, though. Not 11k for a once per day 17.5 average damage good, but pretty good.
I don't know, I appreciate the idea, and it seemed like you were also trying to solve the same issue I was with my item. But, you didn't specify that the +1 of the 1d4+1 was the enhancement bonus--I know that's what you intended, but you didn't say it, so, it's not, and you can't get an increased hit or damage or any special properties on the spikes, which kills its long term viability as a weapon.
If it did allow that, it would be an awesome idea that I very much appreciate. However, if that were the case, it'd be significantly underpriced. Not needing quickdraw or a blinkback belt is pretty significant, and should cost at least 10k or so--maybe more.
Overall, I like it, but, it's either too weak or too cheap.
Right off the bat, I'm not a fan of "throwing returning" on a weapon. This weapon is priced for 10th level characters, so, that tells me you want me to give up my extra attacks to make one sub-par attack (because I'm obviously not built for throwing when I'm using an Earthbreaker). Then, there's way too much description and story here.
The actual ability is sundering stuff better? No, wait, it's bizarrely counterspelling. That's...really odd. It should absolutely use the item's caster level, not the character wielding it's hit dice. It's also ridiculously that when you successfully counter something, you lose your weapon for the fight. It should probably return anyway--there's very little to be gained by removing those qualities in response. And it's weird that you can counter an area spell, but can't dispel it later, or duplicate Spell Sunder or something.
Your inspiration was something about Irespan, but, I've never heard of that, so, the "golem-like qualities" did not come across to me at all. I don't really like the idea of a sledgehammer you throw at area spells to counter them (but can't be used to dispel them once in place), so, even the idea kind of falls flat to me, sorry.
There's also a lack of clarity here. The dagger is wounding. Do you start bleeding if you slash yourself? Also, you damage yourself as part of casting the spell. Does that mean you need to make a concentration check based on the damage you dealt to yourself? I guess it doesn't matter because those things could too easily be compensated for and this dagger would become a key part of every caster build.
The concept itself is too powerful, sorry.
There's quite a bit of friendly fire on the shaken effect--the wielder isn't affected, but all of their allies still are. I'd rather it just give an Intimidate bonus or Dazzling Display type ability.
Then, you have an ability that frightens on a successful save? That's excessive. But then, it only lasts 1 round, and the panic on a failed save only lasts 1d4 rounds. That's not very much for a once per day ability.
Then the 10 times per day thing--it's kind of ridiculous when put that way. You are obviously referencing the fact that Chainsaws have 10 charges and use 1 per hour, normally, but instead of just saying that the chainsaw recharges every day and counting on people to know how chainsaws work, you create this confusion and probably get a lot of people wondering why you created a weapon with 10 uses per day, etc.
But yeah, a +2 Chainsaw is about 11k, and I don't think giving your friends the Shaken condition every fight is worth 36k.
There are some other minor errors, too. Like, the Flight duration should be based on the item's caster level, not the user's level. And the Petrification DC should be based on the item, which means assuming minimum casting stat, for a DC: 19. I also think you just guessed at the price, because it would be extremely unusual for a staff's price not to end in 300 or 600. Oh, and there's no need for Craft Staff in there--it doesn't work anything at all like a Staff.
But mostly, yeah, it's just the total out-of-left-fieldedness of the Petrification. No matter how you think it's themed, it's not. Fire, water, air, TURN TO STONE?! Move under water, move through the sky, TURN SOMEONE TO STONE?! It's just so out of place--and worse than that, it's a save or die, which I hate on principle. I couldn't get past that, sorry. Why make such a great staff with a ridiculous, out of place save or die added on?
A Cavalier specific item? One for being OR fighting them? Very strange niche. I see lots of "ZOMG LANCES ARE STRONG!" builds on the forum, but I've literally never seen a player in real life that had even the slightest interest in Cavalier (well, actually, the finesse archetype does have me interested, but that's it).
The second power should be a different paragraph. Once per day, I get a moment of greatness? Not bad. Especially nice for Barbarians.
I don't like this bizarre downside thing. I don't want a cursed item on my finger. It's pretty excessive and fleeing from battle is often something GMs want to encourage, not punish.
Overall, it's a very "blah" item. It most benefits a single, rarely played class (or those that fight against them), and even then, it just gives a flat bonus to one of their class features.
It takes a move action to end the fusion, but could I just let go of th spear? What would happen then? Would the ghost be able to grab it and use a move action to remove it? If not, how could they remove the spear? There'd be no CMD to roll against.
Overall, there are some clarity issues. It's also kind of silly looking in my mind, for a ghost to get stuck on a spear and just, well, sit there.
It is really getting hard to keeping going on these reviews. I wish I had stuck to short and sweet ones like others. Almost done, though. The end is in sight...** spoiler omitted **
** spoiler omitted **...
Yep, very nearly done. I've enjoyed reading your reviews, so thank you!
It is really getting hard to keeping going on these reviews. I wish I had stuck to short and sweet ones like others. Almost done, though. The end is in sight...** spoiler omitted **
134) Stormcrow Tomahawk:
This designer is totally awesome in every way!
** spoiler omitted **...
I see what you did there. :)
However, I will admit, that while every character I've played in Pathfinder so far had UMD maxed, and I see tons of builds with it maxed and posts recommending it, I will also say that I've never actually seen anyone roll it in actual play.
A Cavalier specific item? One for being OR fighting them? Very strange niche. I see lots of "ZOMG LANCES ARE STRONG!" builds on the forum, but I've literally never seen a player in real life that had even the slightest interest in Cavalier (well, actually, the finesse archetype does have me interested, but that's it).
It always gives me a smile when you say something like this, because pretty much always I have a story to prove the opposite. My friends are rolling UMD constantly, especially in PFS. Those wands of cure light wounds need activating after all and you're not going to have a cleric in the party all the time. My players are also wrapping up Kingmaker's fourth book pretty soon, one of them a nobleman halfling cavalier riding a battle boar.
It's kind of awesome that we play Pathfinder so completely differently. It'd be interesting to see your scene sometimes.
It always gives me a smile when you say something like this, because pretty much always I have a story to prove the opposite. My friends are rolling UMD constantly, especially in PFS. Those wands of cure light wounds need activating after all and you're not going to have a cleric in the party all the time.
This is probably because I never play PFS, and actually kind of hate the very premise of a living game. Though, it's not just a lack of a Cleric, you'd need to lack an Alchemist, Bard, Cleric, Druid, Hunter, Inquisitor, Investigator, Oracle, Paldin, Ranger, Shaman, Skald, Warpriest and Witch. That's 14 out of the 29 possible classes. But, I guess with PUG groups, you never know--you could show up next to four Falchion wielding Barbarians, I suppose.
My players are also wrapping up Kingmaker's fourth book pretty soon, one of them a nobleman halfling cavalier riding a battle boar.
I've heard that Kingmaker was one of the few APs that really allowed mounted combat to work. I don't now, the Pathfinder group I play with now did Kingmaker just before I met them.
It's kind of awesome that we play Pathfinder so completely differently. It'd be interesting to see your scene sometimes.
Yeah, I do appreciate that there's a lot of table variation--that's one of the reasons I dislike PFS, because, by it's nature, it needs to squash as much table variation as possible.
The group almost always has at least one Oracle or Druid/Hunter/Ranger in it. I'd say those are probably the most common and popular classes, actually. We've also had multiple Inquisitors. Nobody, in the two and a half years I've played with the group has ever played a Cavalier, Gunslinger, Summoner, or any ACG class that wasn't a Hunter. There was one Rogue and one Fighter but both abandoned their characters after frustration set in, and one guy tried Mystic Theurge, which accounts for the singular Wizard and Cleric. I'm the only one in the group that's ever played a Paladin, Sorcerer, or Witch. I probably wouldn't play Witch again--I hate preparing spells. And, the group kind of looks down on Paladin. They hate the LG thing and also consider it ridiculously overpowered (the latter is probably my fault).
Maybe saying, 'we both enjoy playing Pathfinder' is like saying 'we both enjoy watching TV' ?
You like TV, too? Cool, let's get together and watch The Mindy Project...
So, what am I looking for, here, when I judge these items? Well, my crtique is going to be a little different than most others because my primary focus is on rules knowledge, clarity/simplicity, and usability. You can come up with the most creative item on the planet, but if nobody is going to actually use it in a real game, who cares? And it doesn't matter if nobody uses it because it's obviously too strong, too weak for its price, too confusing/complicated to actually adjudicate at the table, or just too niche to have an actual target audience.
What I am generally not looking at is flavor text. Descriptions of your item will only hurt if the item evokes imagery I dislike. I care about theme, of course, but a crow item that blinds and has pilfering hand in it is thematic enough--I don't need to read about what different kinds of dark wood were used and how many crow parts are sticking out of it. Honestly, I'm just going to describe your item however I like when I run the game anyway.
Finally, know that I did not read any other critiques of your item yet. These are all my first thoughts based only on the item itself, so, I apologize if I repeat things others have said already.
Now, let's get to it!
Whoah, wait, what?! Ranged touch attacks that do your full melee damage (including power attack and whatnot) is just too much. This would be the weapon of choice for, well, literally everyone. It's way too good--probably no matter the price. Just look at how much people complain about Gunslingers for getting to make ranged touch attacks. Take a look at something like a Great Wyrm Red Dragon which has 39 base AC, and a Touch AC of 0. ZERO!
Brilliant Energy, which also lets you make touch attacks, actually sucks, because it has too many limitations on it (doesn't work on undead or constructs, for example), but this just works on everyone unless they are immune to electricity and it costs less than Brilliant Energy would.
The haste thing is interesting but doesn't really do much. How often are you saving against electricity effects during a normal game? Realistically, by the time you can acquire this, your party has someone casting Haste for the party already.
Overall, no, I'm sorry, this is way too crazy strong. If the ranged attacks had just been against regular AC, however, this could have been one of my favorite items, as I like the concept of a melee weapon shooting power at the bad guys.
For example, I'd just find a community of Halflings and let them "work from home." I'd set up a system where those with the Helpful trait take shifts wearing the rings, aiding me on attack and defense every round for however long they could reasonably do it before passing the ring off to someone else. It works even better at higher levels when ways to communicate with the outsourced office becomes possible via magic. I'm a super rich adventurer that can fund their entire town on a tiny fraction of my share and the work is super easy--it's too good not to do it. Theoretically, you might even be able to drop off benevolent suits of armor to the town to buff the bonus up.
Yeah, overall, useless for what you wanted it to be used for (nobody actually Aids Another without a build specifically to do it, and they wouldn't need this ring), but overpowered and abusable if you "play wrong."
It also seems like there's some tedious soul HD tetrising to be done--you can't realistically get to the 20HD cap because you can't go even 1HD over. And then, there's tedious book keeping about what souls you have and what their specific Hit Dice were. It's a lot of work to wear this ring.
Finally, the ultimate effect is, well, of fluctuating, almost random power. You're not getting this ring before 13th level, so, using Ogres was kind of a bizarre choice for an example, unless you're farming souls from low level areas or something. And yeah, at 13th level, a DC 17 is pretty stupidly easy. But, if all the pieces fall together correctly, a 20d12 scorching ray is kind of ridiculous (130 average damage).
Overall, no, it's too powerful when it works right, too tedious to bookkeep and use properly, and just doesn't sit well with me flavorwise.
First, it only specifies that the rings cause a weapon to function as if made of the same material. What weapon? One I hold? One on my person? Just one at some unspecified range nearby? You need to clarify this stuff. You also add this weird caveat about monks, specifically, getting a natural weapon. This is both unnecessary for what you intended (a monk's unarmed strike counts as a regular weapon just fine) and really bizarre because of what you didn't (Wildshaping Druids and Beastmorph Alchemists need a level of monk to affect their own natural weapons, and it has no effect for, say, animal companions).
The circumstances for when and how it applies its effect (all the time? Can I turn it off?) is important for a material such as Alchemical Silver, which actually reduces the damage dealt by slashing and piercing weapons. And does it fully work like the material? Does it change hardness? Would my Quarterstaff get 20 Hardness if I had an Adamantine ring? I also question several of your choices here. Blood Crystal is one of the most expensive and has the "amazing" effect of adding 1 damage to an attack against a bleeding target. That's really underwhelming for 4500gp. Elysian Bronze pretty much amounts to the same (though it's slightly easier to get the effect, since there are more magical beasts and monstrous humanoids than bleeding effects). Fire/Frost Forged Steel is probably even worse--only 1d4 damage after taking elemental damage (it is exceedingly likely that the one who dealt this damage is immune or resistant to it themselves).
The Living Steel ring is probably pretty useful to slip on when you have a damaged or broken weapon, but probably not 3500gp useful.
I also dislike, in general, the items that were actually several items pretending to be one.
Overall, it's an ok idea, but there's very little here and it's flawed.
It's also really expensive--priced for an 11th level character, unfortunately, by which point, just about every element of it is hopelessly outdated. A +1 flaming weapon is super weak for 11th level, DC 15s are jokes, catching fire doesn't do enough damage to matter, nor does even 8d6 on a third consecutive jump.
Overall, almost awesome and great, but it's too expensive for too little effect, and, more importantly, it's the wrong kind of item.
Oh, and it's ridiculously too expensive for any reasonable use. You can't get this item until 16th level, and its most impressive ability is a 5th level spell--or maybe summoning a single CR 7 monster. That's way too little way too late.
Even if it were useful for its cost (I'm not saying that it's priced incorrectly, mind you--the "correct" price is often too high for the item's actual value), it still wouldn't be superstar, though, because, well, it doesn't really do anything special or unique. Anyone can make a staff that just contains spells.
I also dislike items that only actually do anything once per day.
Giving the Armor Training ability was not a good way to convey the effect. What happens if a Fighter that already has the Armor Training ability uses the armor? You should have just listed the effects without tying it to the class feature so that it could stack with it.
I don't know anyone that wears armor with a lower maximum Dex than their actual Dex, so, the ability to function as if you had the maximum is most likely adding just 1. I know it theoretically could add upwards of 6 if you had a -2 Dex or something, from being a Dex dumped race, but that's just so unlikely and niche.... It's also very strange design for Pathfinder--they generally don't reward you more for having worse stats.
+1 to hit each round is not bad, but you should specify an action here, even if it's just Free. And it's not clear--when can I add this bonus? Only before I roll, or can it be added after I roll?
Overall, there are some issues, but the bigger, core problem is: this is special magic armor that is only special once per day for 1 minute. Eh.
Detecting Undead is kind of interesting. Not especially useful or powerful since it only tells you that they're there, not where or whatever, but not a bad start.
Giving you Channel Energy is cool, but, 3d6 channeling for damage only with a DC: 16 save is a complete joke when you're level 15+. It wouldn't even be worth the standard action! Oh, now we get to the incomprehensible part.
What does "begins consecrating the ground" mean? Does it function as consecrated while it's providing cover? Or does it just create a Consecration effect at-will in response to using it for cover, and it has the normal duration of, for a CL 15 item, 30 hours? Is this a shield of infinite consecration, or a shield of "when you do nothing on your turn, undead very close by are slightly impeded?"
And I can't even begin to guess what that last sentence means or does. "Additionally once per day when the wielder causes damage to a lich, they are about to discern the current location and object of the lich's phylactery as though they had observed it firsthand." Lolwhut?
Overall, very sloppily written making the actual effects unclear. Not enough shield for the price, and at least one property (channeling) is a joke in the context of when you could get this. Another (Consecration) is either ridiculously too good or a total joke as well. You really need to go back to the drawing board on this one.
+2 Full Plate for 144k. This is 4k worth of armor enhancement and 138k+ of special ability. There's no way that's enough armor for a 16th level character.
Parsing this down, once per day, I can deal 6d6 (21 average) to someone at range, while simultaneously closing the distance. Then, uh, I just sit there as a rock unless I spend a Standard action to switch back (practically negating the benefit of closing that distance). Uh...that's horrible. Why would I ever care to do that? A typical martial can deal more than 21 damage per swing 10 levels before this armor is acquirable.
Your final line is also really silly--there's no way it'll come up. You'd have to take damage bringing you down to 181 (so as not to trigger the armor destruction), then, the full 181 + 8 for your hardness all at once to slay you. And further, that presumes you'll even stay a rock. Why would you stay a rock? It doesn't help at all. After you throw yourself once, you just sit there. Why even have a 20 minute duration?
I just don't get what you were going for at all here. Jeez, it's mostly useful as a turtling item to hide in when you're dying, not for catapulting.
So, what am I looking for, here, when I judge these items? Well, my crtique is going to be a little different than most others because my primary focus is on rules knowledge, clarity/simplicity, and usability. You can come up with the most creative item on the planet, but if nobody is going to actually use it in a real game, who cares? And it doesn't matter if nobody uses it because it's obviously too strong, too weak for its price, too confusing/complicated to actually adjudicate at the table, or just too niche to have an actual target audience.
What I am generally not looking at is flavor text. Descriptions of your item will only hurt if the item evokes imagery I dislike. I care about theme, of course, but a crow item that blinds and has pilfering hand in it is thematic enough--I don't need to read about what different kinds of dark wood were used and how many crow parts are sticking out of it. Honestly, I'm just going to describe your item however I like when I run the game anyway.
Finally, know that I did not read any other critiques of your item yet. These are all my first thoughts based only on the item itself, so, I apologize if I repeat things others have said already.
Now, let's get to it!
A bigger question, though, is who is this staff for? Using Rage to refill charges isn't bad, but, it's kind of bizarre. No spellcaster will naturally have the spells in this staff AND Rage without multiclassing, so, the most likely outcome is either UMD or handing the staff off to the Barbarian to recharge. I also don't see a super strong connection between "animal powers" and rage.
The Calm Emotions part was interesting and showed thought, though, so that was a plus.
Overall, it just wasn't good enough. There are some good things, but there was no clear user for this, and well, a staff that just recharges differently still isn't very Superstar.
There are some minor issues throughout. The line about directing the swarm into letters is weird. Becoming a swarm without swarm traits is odd (DR 5/- instead of half from weapons). You refer to the scarabs as if they were someone other than the wearer, so who is in control of them is in question. It's very unclear what happens whan the scarab swarm dies (can it?) and how many HP it has.
But the biggest issue I have is that this armor's only power (besides being druid-wearable Scale Mail) only works when you die. I absolutely do not want to invest gold (especially so much of it--this appears to be something like 29k) in what happens when I die. I'd much rather be preventing that death instead. I hate death as a revolving door as a trope in D&D, and I would not want to vote for an item that encourages and assumes it.
The spells themselves are fine. All are logical choices for the theme. It's ridiculously expensive (it's priced for 15th level characters), but that's because you have a completely insane final ability.
Turn someone into an evil dwarf forever and they assume they've always been an evil dwarf, and only extremely poweful magic can break it! Further, it works like Polymorph, so, the save (you should list the DC. It's unclear whether or not it should work like a normal item with minimum stats assumed--DC: 17--or if it's like a spell coming from the staff and the caster uses their own stats) is Harmless! A harmless save means that, if you can catch someone asleep, you automatically ruin them (because consent is implied while unconscious).
I really hate permanent, character ruining effects. A bad guy with this staff could destroy a game in one round with this, and evil PC witches will be Slumber hexing and converting minions left and right. It doesn't really even make sense. Why would a Duergar turn slaves into other Duergar? That seems like they'd be willing allies, then, not slaves anymore. No, I do not like this item, sorry.
So, you leave marks when you grapple? That's, weird. Why grappling? And does it only apply when you initiate a grapple? Or each time you make a successful grapple roll of any kind?
WHOAH, WHAT?! You basically make someone take double damage forever unless they make a relatively difficult Will save? That's really crazy powerful--way too good for sure, never mind for only 40k.
It also creates weird issues like, what happens if your target is undead? I do not ascribe to this, but there are lots of people on the forum who believe undead heal from any source of negative damage. If they're right, could I just get a friend to wear this and curse me if I'm undead so that I always heal as much damage as I take?
No, this should be beyond the scope of anything in the game, magic item or otherwise, and there are lots of little writing/formatting issues, too.
Why is this Small? Is this meant for halflings and gnomes, or were you just trying to more accurately represent a penknife being smaller than a dagger and make it less wieldly as a weapon? Since a dagger is already light, I don't think medium creatures even can wield it as a weapon...
"Five times per day, once per round..." is really an awkward mouthful. You should know that when it comes to pricing, 5 times per day is actually considered the same as unlimited times per day. Fights don't last very long in Pathfinder. For the most part, you'll be able to use this every meaningful round of combat most days. The really frustrating part will be the rare times you can't, and you have to either ration uses or you run out when there's another unexpected fight. It might as well have been unlimited. Or 3/day. 5/day is just a bad idea.
The penknife is a small dagger, but you have it striking as if it were a medium greatsword (dealing 2d6). You should make the size change more clear. Actually there's a lot that's unclear here. It strikes as a greatsword--does that include needing greatsword proficiency? Can you/must you wield it in two hands for 1.5x Str and Power Attack? If you enhance it further so that it becomes Agile, would you still deal Dex based damage when it acts as a greatsword? It's just too vague. Why not just change the base damage, rather than specifying it became like a greatsword?
Ignoring DR is a little crazy, but, I guess ok. Ignoring fortification is really weird, though. I've not seen anything that does that.
This is getting out of hand. You get the Critical Focus feat, too? Why not just give the +4 without connecting it to the feat? I mean, what happens if you already have the feat?
I don't know, I understand what you're going for, but I really don't like the design space you're working with here. The "surprise, this crappy weapon is actually a really good weapon because I made a knowledge check!" thing is just, not compelling to me. Now, I do like knowledge is power as a theme, and I really wish there were more ways to use Knowledge checks to get combat benefits, but, I'm looking for stuff like bonuses to hit or damage, not "my entire weapon changes int something else, sort of!" I do appreciate that you removed the "Only a Bard can do this" thing. There are at least quite a few classes who can take advantage of this, now.
Compared to the last attempt, this is on a whole different level. Honestly, huge improvement. I still don't like it, and there are still lots of issues, but, the amount of progress shown in a single draft is really promising for your design future.
I dislike the ability to auto-free yourself from being pinned. Not only is automatically defeating anything not a good idea, but it's extremely specific (you can escape pinned, but not grappled or other kinds of binding) and vague (if you break the Pin, are you still grappled?).
I really dislike the sickened thing. It's so minor (DC 12 is a joke and 1 round barely matters). Why bother? I get you were trying to drive home how creepy it is, but I think this was just a little hamfisted.
Overall, it's an interesting idea, but one you fail to capitalize on. There are so many cool things you could have done with this. What about the Compression ability? I think you missed a great opportunity.
The spells are ok, but, well, just as I suspected, kind of pointless for a level 15 character. Then, the special power...
Silent table? What the heck is that? Wow, what a terrible spell. I honestly can't figure out why anyone would care about this spell, especially at level 15. Oh, and it can be a +1/+1 weapon, too? At level 15? I don't think you paid any attention to how this price range would affect usability.
The alternate version is, well, 11k for Disguise Self and Clairaudience/Clairvoyance. They really make the Infiltration theme land much more strongly, which helps, but well, the problems above remain. It's still more expensive than it's worth, unfortunately.
Wow, I actually caught up. Cool! I guess I'm done!
That was actually a fun experience, though, it did drag at the end. I hope my reviews helped, even if my opinions are apparently on the unusual side.
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I want to give my thanks to everyone who gave me honest feedback on windpath razor. I appreciate the time you took to do so and I am happy that many of you did enjoy the item. I see I need to gain a better grasp on pricing magic items.
I want to give back by responding to some items that caught my attention.
Thanks for taking time to review my work Andrew, and yep, there were some miss steps, and, well to be honest, I didn't bother to re-read chill touch, figuring "hey, its chill touch, good old 1d4 cold dmg and possible one Str dmg. Seems I should have, because (unknown to me until later) chill touch is neg energy dmg in PF. Just goes to show, just cause you think you know something, doesn't mean you shouldn't double check, because if I had, well you know. But I will be trying to keep the mojo going for next year, and really pay hard and fast attention to mechanics, and will be double checking the spells I use...live and learn ;)
Thanks for the review mplindustries! I agree mistakes were made on my item, including forgetting 300 GP MW price, and not checking to see if chill touch is really still chilly, which in fact, it is not. I also likely tried a bit to hard to mold the item into the cryohydra theme, and thereby limited myself a bit to hard. And agreed, thinking about it now, 3d6 dmg is low for the price, and could have done without a enhancement bonus reduction, and left it as a 3 round recharge time. But that is all part of learning, and getting better often means failing (allot).
Portable Protective Pedestal
Aura faint abjuration and evocation CL 3rd
Slot none; Price 9,000 gp; Weight 1/2 lb.
Description
When activated, this pocket-sized stone cube grows into a pedestal whose top is at a comfortable working height for the user. A non-living object placed on top of it and weighing less than 50 lbs will be protected from all natural environmental hazards. Rain will not damage the item, wind will not blow it away or even rustle delicate pages, and stray sparks will not set the object on fire. The pedestal provides no appreciable cover. This protection is overcome by magic such as fireball and whirlwind, but not by magically-conjured natural effects such as lightning produced via call lightning. Extreme natural environments such as total submersion or contact with the heart of a volcano may also overcome the pedestal’s protective qualities. The pedestal remains conveniently close at hand, floating beside the user at the user’s normal movement rate. If the user wishes, the top of the pedestal projects light onto the object appropriate to the user’s requirements for optimum viewing. By pressing down on one edge of the pedestal as it expands, it becomes a slanted easel rather than a flat-topped pedestal.
The pedestal may be used three times per day for one hour at a time. Any object placed upon a Portable Protective Pedestal is considered to be an attended object. If the activated pedestal is stolen or otherwise forced to be more than 10 feet from the user, it de-activates and returns to its cube form. Activating the pedestal is a standard action. The pedestal takes one full round to achieve full height. Larger pedestals, with additional magic are rumored to exist.
Construction
Requirements Craft Wondrous Item, floating disk, light, resist energy; Cost 4,500 gp
Marathon Voter Season 8, Dedicated Voter Season 9
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Portable Protective Pedestal
Aura faint abjuration and evocation CL 3rd
Slot none; Price 9,000 gp; Weight 1/2 lb.
Description
When activated, this pocket-sized stone cube grows into a pedestal whose top is at a comfortable working height for the user. A non-living object placed on top of it and weighing less than 50 lbs will be protected from all natural environmental hazards. Rain will not damage the item, wind will not blow it away or even rustle delicate pages, and stray sparks will not set the object on fire. The pedestal provides no appreciable cover. This protection is overcome by magic such as fireball and whirlwind, but not by magically-conjured natural effects such as lightning produced via call lightning. Extreme natural environments such as total submersion or contact with the heart of a volcano may also overcome the pedestal’s protective qualities. The pedestal remains conveniently close at hand, floating beside the user at the user’s normal movement rate. If the user wishes, the top of the pedestal projects light onto the object appropriate to the user’s requirements for optimum viewing. By pressing down on one edge of the pedestal as it expands, it becomes a slanted easel rather than a flat-topped pedestal.The pedestal may be used three times per day for one hour at a time. Any object placed upon a Portable Protective Pedestal is considered to be an attended object. If the activated pedestal is stolen or otherwise forced to be more than 10 feet from the user, it de-activates and returns to its cube form. Activating the pedestal is a standard action. The pedestal takes one full round to achieve full height. Larger pedestals, with additional magic are rumored to exist.
Construction
Requirements Craft Wondrous Item, floating disk, light, resist energy; Cost 4,500 gp
This is the thread from Season 8, but it looks like you also found the other one.
This is the thread from Season 8, but it looks like you also found the other one.
Yeah, my bad. Oops! :-)