I'm mostly angry that I didn't think of it first

[Mikaze]

Just discovered the works of Christie Sims. Don't look her up at work, by the way.

Leaving aside the baffling and mildly terrifying paleophilia, finding out that there was a market for adult micro-novellas made picking a random page in the Monster Manual after that market was simultaneously tapped and flooded is a real kick in the pants.

I feel like I missed the gold rush. :(

is bitter because now Caress of the Cecaelia is no longer going to be considered a pioneering work of art

srsly, if you can read a list of titles of her works on Amazon without laughing or gasping in horror, you have more self control than any of us who discussed this post-game last night.

[Sissyl]

So, we need titles to work on:

The otyugh said yes
Snow-white and the seven thri-kreen
Touched by a lich

I got it somewhat right? Any other suggestions?

[Tinkergoth]

Seduced by a Salamander
Taken by the Tarrasque
The Mindflayer's Mistress
The Beholder's Beauty
Fifty Shades of Kyton

I'm starting to scrape the bottom of the barrel there... will see if I can think of any good ones after work tomorrow. Though for a more irreverent one...

Buggered by the Buggane

[Sissyl]

Beauty in the Eye of the Beholder

[Limeylongears]

More barrel-scraping:

Debbie Does Duergar?
50 Shadar-Kai of Grey?
Virgin Ranger - Excitable Dire Badger?
Half Dragon - All Woman?
Spawn of Kyuss - Lord of my Heart?
Find the Dryad - Lose the Tree: A Guide for Short Sighted Satyrs?
Old Man Jatembe and the hurbol veeagrar?

[KidDangerous]

Limeylongears wrote:

<snip>

Half Dragon - All Woman?

<snip>

congratulations sir, you've won

[cmastah]

The Dark Wight Rises?
Nightmare on streetwalker?
XXX-Man: First Bass?
The wizard of TOZ? (sorry, I just had to ^^)
Forrest Flumph? (Seriously....run Forrest, run!)

EDIT: Also:

Citizen Mercane?

[Sissyl]

Cube III: Gelatinous Cube
The NYC Bulette
A drider runs through it

[Drejk]

Gone with the Air Elemental.

[Beercifer]

Numbed by the Transvestite Lich King-Queen

[Slaunyeh]

Mikaze wrote:

Don't look her up at work, by the way.

I don't think it's fair to issue that kind of dare when you're actually serious!

I never realized that Jurassic Park was an erotic thriller. I feel cheated now. :(

[cmastah]

Slaunyeh wrote:

I never realized that Jurassic Park was an erotic thriller. I feel cheated now. :(

Hell hath no fury like a reptile scorned

[Sissyl]

Romance in Axis: It was Inevitable
Orcs just wanna have Fun
The Little Kenku that Could
Rocksteady Love: Me and the Earth Elementals
How to Dump an Ogre in 10 Days
Big Love: Dating a Cloud Giantess

[cmastah]

The Qlippoth wears Prada (In this scenario, main character's name is Prada :P....actually, original title would also work :P)
Kissed by a gibbering mouther
I am Mythic
In the pursuit of Harpies
The elder gnolls: Sky's rim
Dragon's age: Jailbait
Trauma of the lambs
Trauma of the lambs 2: Leave them alone already
Call of duty: ghosts (name really does speak for itself)
Dead rising (this one too)
Dungeons of the dragons
The kobold and the beautiful
The LG, the CE and the guy who dumped charisma

[Freehold DM]

Sissyl wrote:

Cube III: Gelatinous Cube

The NYC Bulette
A drider runs through it

I really want to read that second one.

[Freehold DM]

Limeylongears wrote:

Half Dragon - All Woman?

I really want to see the 70s blacksploitation version of this.

[Beercifer]

Only if it's half-orc, half-black, from Nigeria, selling Prawn weapons to MNU...

[Nicos]

Two from a mythic thread:

- Succubus in a grapple.
- The rogue do it from behind.

[Sissyl]

Freehold DM wrote:

Sissyl wrote:

Cube III: Gelatinous Cube

The NYC Bulette
A drider runs through it

I really want to read that second one.

Hint... Landsharks in tutus.

[Limeylongears]

Freehold DM wrote:

Limeylongears wrote:

Half Dragon - All Woman?

I really want to see the 70s blacksploitation version of this.

Coffey - BREATHING LIGHTNING!!!!

So do I!!

Tomorrow I shall mostly be drawing ladies in hotpants with Afros and 30ft wingspans ;)

Also, I'm glad no-one's decided to mentio Bullette for my Valentine yet

[Mikaze]

Freehold DM wrote:

Limeylongears wrote:

Half Dragon - All Woman?

I really want to see the 70s blacksploitation version of this.

The same shot of a wagon being driven off a road and exploding must be used at least twice.

[Set]

When you shoot a dragon in this kind of movie, it's breath weapon builds up inside of it and explodes all over the place.

Same thing when you have climbed up on a dragon and stabbed it and it fell out of the sky and crashed into the ground and exploded, as you attempt to roll to safety.

It's a rule. Dragons always explode.

Demons, too, for different reasons. Kill one and everyone in 30 ft. is all covered in green steaming demon splooge. It's like staking a vampire in True Blood, or a Gallagher concert. The first three rows will get wet.

[limsk]

Limeylongears wrote:

Tomorrow I shall mostly be drawing ladies in hotpants with Afros and 30ft wingspans ;)

Dragonriders of Perm?

[Mikaze]

Set wrote:

When you shoot a dragon in this kind of movie, it's breath weapon builds up inside of it and explodes all over the place.

Same thing when you have climbed up on a dragon and stabbed it and it fell out of the sky and crashed into the ground and exploded, as you attempt to roll to safety.

It's a rule. Dragons always explode.

Demons, too, for different reasons. Kill one and everyone in 30 ft. is all covered in green steaming demon splooge. It's like staking a vampire in True Blood, or a Gallagher concert. The first three rows will get wet.

Did....you just kickstart a new 1000 Demonic Death Throes thread? ;)

[Sissyl]

I was a teenage vegepygmy
Imps and quasits in Las Vegas
A grig in New York
Four seconds: love and the single quickling

[Slaunyeh]

"Things to Do in Denver When You're Dead"

[ShadowcatX]

You know what I can't help but wonder? Is that her real name or was she ashamed enough to use a pen name?

[Mikaze]

Well when I start selling my cyborg mermaid erotica I'm going to be using my real name proudly and without shame.

Keep your eyes out for the works of Raven Z. Musashi, available soon on Amazon.

[Limeylongears]

He's Not Just Put That Into You ?!
The Kite Rumper (see also: The Rumping Man, Born to Rump, Rumping on Empty, etc)
The Female E.U. Nuckelavee.
120 Days of Sore Bums

We shan't mention the Dragonlance Saga. And I'm not going to quote the two Tolkein-related items I thought of, either.

[Arnwyn]

What the hell thread did I just click on?!

"I'm mostly angry that I didn't think of it first" sounded so... innocuous.

[Tinkergoth]

ShadowcatX wrote:

You know what I can't help but wonder? Is that her real name or was she ashamed enough to use a pen name?

It's a pen name. I've read an interview with her... well, it's actually two women who were room mates in college and decided this was easier. They make a truly obscene amount of money from it. Pun *DEFINITELY* intended.

[DM_aka_Dudemeister]

"Pugwam-bam-thank-you-mam-pi Lurve."

[Sissyl]

Ecology of the White Ooze

[Bigdaddyjug]

Slaunyeh wrote:

Mikaze wrote:

Don't look her up at work, by the way.

I don't think it's fair to issue that kind of dare when you're actually serious!

I never realized that Jurassic Park was an erotic thriller. I feel cheated now. :(

Don't you mean Jurassic Pork?

>.>

<.<

[Astral Wanderer]

The Human Neothelid.

[SmiloDan]

I finally have the courage to ask: What is paleophilia?

Paleolithic love? Just love of old folks?

[John Woodford]

In context, it's an untoward attraction to extinct fauna.

[SmiloDan]

I'm assuming magnetic extinct fauna.

Because I value my sanity!

[John Woodford]

That is wise. I've seen some of Christie Sims' covers, and.... Well.

[Ashiel]

Sissyl wrote:

Beauty in the Eye of the Beholder

The eye of the beholder is in the beauty.

[SmiloDan]

Ashiel wrote:

Sissyl wrote:

Beauty in the Eye of the Beholder

In Soviet Russia, eye of beholder is in beauty.

There, fixed it for ya! ;-)

[Ashiel]

SmiloDan wrote:

Ashiel wrote:

Sissyl wrote:

Beauty in the Eye of the Beholder

In Soviet Russia, eye of beholder is in beauty.

There, fixed it for ya! ;-)

Curses! Now I've got mental images of soviet beholders. I'm not sure if it's the coolest or kookiest thing I've ever imagined.

[Irontruth]

Mandrill
Cockathrice
Midnight Minotaur

[Sharoth]

~laughs and shakes my head~

[Kobold Catgirl]

This thread is making me think of the wonderful work of Chuck Tingle.

[I'm Hiding In Your Closet]

Deep One Throat

What The Bugbear Saw

Lady Chatterly's Lofwyr

[Sissyl]

What I did in the woodshed, or Kobold comfort farm

[I'm Hiding In Your Closet]

We Be Goblins 69!