Coping with a player whose playstyle is opposite your own

Gamer Life General Discussion

say you and another player are at odds. one of you likes to know the path, is not interested in conflicting pc interests at all, likes to metagame on occasion to ensure the GM can keep the game flowing, does not like to feel strong gutwrenching emotions when it comes to pc decisions.
the other loves playing the character. he loves those emotional scenes where you don't know if this NPC will die or not, he refuses to metagame, even if keeping in character will cause him to stray from the story.

how does one compromise in this situation?

1 person marked this as a favorite.

It depends on the game the GM is presenting. The player that isn't falling in line with the feel of the game is the one that needs to adapt.

Sardonic Soul wrote:
It depends on the game the GM is presenting. The player that isn't falling in line with the feel of the game is the one that needs to adapt.

Which, depending on the GM and the rest of the troupe, may well mean both of them.

Grand Lodge

1 person marked this as a favorite.
Pathfinder PF Special Edition, Starfinder Roleplaying Game Subscriber

This is a good venue for game mechanics help.

But your problem seems to fall in the more basic area of people to people interaction.

I shouldn't have to tell you this but in areas of divergence, it takes both of you to work out a happy medium, where each of you gives something in exchange for something else. That's part and parcel of being a presumed adult.

So the answer is... that both of you are going to have to answer that question together.

I am willing to approach the PC conflict from a voice that is more OOC, basically saying what my character does rather than act it out. He seems okay with that. The problem comes with my anxiety, the reasoning behind why I game the way I do. It gets set off before I realize sometimes, and people take my frustration as what my character is doing. in reality, I am fighting panic. The entire table knows of my issues. they accept them and the GM is sure to give my character a handful of clear paths rather than a sandbox, for I do clam up when having to make quick decisions.

I am working on my anxiety, on not letting it get out of control. But there will be the occasion where it still happens and I do have an episode at game. There's no denying that, and they accept my smoke breaks to cool off. but I'm unable to bring myself back sometimes. and the fact that this player reads these moments as my character's reactions are just making it worse. I'm debating quitting, even though I was playing in this game a full 9 months before he joined and had little problem with everyone else back then.

I do feel in the wrong because of my emotional uprising at the situation, I'm not denying that. I just don't know how to fix it.

1 person marked this as a favorite.

Well if this is stemming from your anxiety, then it's a problem that can only be solved by you, working on you. As for a fix may I suggest a couple gin and tonics?

Grand Lodge

Pathfinder PF Special Edition, Starfinder Roleplaying Game Subscriber

Is your anxiety centered around the game, or out of game real life issues?

If it's about the game, perhaps you're too worried about success and failure. Everyone is going to have great sessions and sessions where the dice refuse to cooperate.

Just reading from your text though it does seem to boil down to a problem between you and the new person, or perhaps a reaction to a change in your gaming environment. Perhaps changing something that inconsequential in your general life environment can condition you to working with change in your gaming environment.

LazarX, the gaming environment change does make sense. The table suddenly got a whole lot louder, whereas previously no one seemed to bring a strong personality to the table. I have to position myself sitting next to the GM in order to feel part of the group rather than on the sidelines watching. Unfortunately, this causes headaches when the GM talks to the player on the other side of me.

Update: talked to GM, he agrees about the loudness factor. The player in question also positions himself next to the GM. He is also taller than all of us, and the player at the end of the table across from the GM and his brother, the player also opposite the GM, are both very quiet. It makes for this loud player accidentally (I hope) dominating the table. Solution, have one of the brothers (the owner of the house who is actually in almost complete agreement with my points, thought not anxious about them like me) already in the seat next to the GM when the player arrives. Loud player has already said he doesn't care where he sits during first session.

Yep, some keep distance, some get so involved and shout like they are at a battle, others just want to kill things and number crunch, and some want everyone to actually have a plan before they hit the dungeon.

Aaaaand some players don't know how to talk to people, are socially retarded (I mean that in a factual sense, not an insulting sense) and are way too loud. Our large Melbourne rpg group has a few offenders, they have got a lot better over time.

Community / Forums / Gamer Life / General Discussion / Coping with a player whose playstyle is opposite your own All Messageboards

Want to post a reply? Sign in.
Recent threads in General Discussion