Several months ago, when I first started running online campaigns, I started up several adventure paths, went through the recruitment process, and had wonderful players submit themselves and showing tremendous effort to bring these campaigns to life.
I then promptly vanished without a trace.
Then I posted an apology. I opened new recruitment topics. I tried again.
And then I vanished. Again.
I apologise for this. I told no-one of the reasons why, nor did I publically call off the stories I had begun. It was mostly my shame that kept me at bay, shame for promising so much and not following through, not once, but twice. I should have told you, the players who came to my campaigns with hopes and expectations.
And I didn't.
I'm sorry.
RPG Superstar 2010 Top 16, 2011 Top 32
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It happens, but it speaks to your character that you came back and apologized. Twice. ;)
People on these boards understand that this is a game. Real life and all the issues therein trump it every time. And sometimes things happen and you can't always say what or why. It's understandable.
Welcome back!
You're definitely not the only one who does this but , while I respect how you are trying to set some things right, if you try to start another one folks maybe more reluctant to trust
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I completely understand that one might occasionally need to drop off the face of the world every now and again. My suggestion, is pre-empt that shame with proactive communication.
If running the game starts to become more of a burden than a joy, talk about it. Maybe reduce the amount of time spent on it before it becomes an insurmountable problem. Additionally, talking about these things upfront makes it easier when they come up.
I'll use myself as an example:
Now, if I join a PbP, and everybody's aware that stuff might come up, if/when it does, we can have a conversation. Since everybody was aware of this beforehand, we're hopefully not surprised, and can come to a workable solution together. While not a perfect solution, it's a good step towards making everybody - including you - happier and better able to deal with things.
I hope that helps. :)
I don't have any problems w/ya, Patch. :D
All good here.
Welcome back DM Patcher,
I was a player in your CoT campaign, and after you left I took it as a DM. It was my first ever DMing experience. We are still running, slowly, but surely :)
Yup. It happens. No worries.
All good here. I second Killstring's advice. You don't even need to be as detailed as Kill was. Just say that the game is somewhat of an experiment and things might go south without notice. People might be cheesed for a week or so but after that, all good.
Keep swinging
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It's nice that everyone's being so nice, but here's the truth: I keep a mental list of DMs whose games I won't even consider, because of them disappearing without a word. (And I watch more games than I play, so it's a longer list than you might think.) When they come back and don't even try to revive their old games -- instead immediately recruiting for a new one (or more) -- that absolutely screams "avoidance issues" to me.
Apologies are nice; dealing with stuff is better.
Maybe I just have less patience for avoidance behavior because it's a tendency that I don't like in myself. But there it is. I'm not cool with it, and it will affect how I treat you.
+1 to Fredrik.
Fredrik: You're right. I have avoidance issues. I didn't try to revive my games. I've learnt my lesson, simple as is. I didn't think reviving games that I abandoned would be at all fruitful. I won't run any new PbPs, now or ever, because I realise I won't be able to pull through with them in the end.
I apologised because I felt the players I disappointed deserved it.
They've moved on. Do you see any posts asking where you are, why has he done this to us? No. You're just suddenly beating yourself up, right when the weather has changed. What a coincidence.
Look. It isn't a panacea, but my new dawn simulator has already saved my job more than once. I have this floor lamp with multiple articulated heads, daylight-spectrum bulbs, and a nifty little black box in-between the lamp and the wall.
For example, I currently have it set to start coming on an hour before I want to be awake. It starts out barely on at all, then gradually increases to full brightness. So now my audible alarms are just backup that I usually don't need. (I have four. Does that sound familiar?)
I have to admit, I had some help from my dad, who initially got the box for my mom (I loaned them the lamp). It didn't work for her because of her AD/HD -- stimulation calms her down -- but people like that are the exception, not the rule.
I don't know. Maybe my intuition is wrong, and maybe the change in the weather has nothing to do with your self-talk -- but maybe it does have an effect. And even though I don't know you from Adam, I would rather you be happier. Good luck! :)
They've moved on. Do you see any posts asking where you are, why has he done this to us? No. You're just suddenly beating yourself up, right when the weather has changed. What a coincidence.
Look. It isn't a panacea, but my new dawn simulator has already saved my job more than once. I have this floor lamp with multiple articulated heads, daylight-spectrum bulbs, and a nifty little black box in-between the lamp and the wall.
For example, I currently have it set to start coming on an hour before I want to be awake. It starts out barely on at all, then gradually increases to full brightness. So now my audible alarms are just backup that I usually don't need. (I have four. Does that sound familiar?)
I have to admit, I had some help from my dad, who initially got the box for my mom (I loaned them the lamp). It didn't work for her because of her AD/HD -- stimulation calms her down -- but people like that are the exception, not the rule.
I don't know. Maybe my intuition is wrong, and maybe the change in the weather has nothing to do with your self-talk -- but maybe it does have an effect. And even though I don't know you from Adam, I would rather you be happier. Good luck! :)
Umm...what?
Fredrick, just make sure I understand your post, are you saying that dm patcher Is only feeling sorry because of the change in weather?
I believe Fredrik is referring to Seasonal Affective Disorder.
EDIT: Interestingly, DM Patcher's last apology thread was almost precisely a year ago, same season. So if he starts feeling down about himself and feeling like he needs to make amends to people every late October, Fredrik could be onto something.
Precisely. I'm not saying that he has SAD; it would be ridiculous for me to think that I could make an online diagnosis, when even trained, experienced professionals need to talk to someone personally. I'm merely remarking that the coincidence of timing is suggestive; and if there's a pattern, then it might be worthwhile to try a proven method of dealing with it. See if it helps. Can't hurt!
I just see so much of myself in him. And it took me so long to figure that one out.
This is a long shot, but it also took me a long time to learn to keep little cans of fruit juice around in case my head gets fuzzy, and to snack on crackers (I love Milton's Everything), cheese sticks, and oatmeal bars throughout the workday. (According to tests, I don't have hypoglycemia; just a high metabolism.) But there's often a correlation between different issues, due to them springing from the same body type. So on the off chance that Patcher (or someone else reading this thread) recognizes themselves in that, I hope that it helps them learn to manage it sooner than I did.
I mean, seriously. Who knew that lights and crackers could make such a difference in my work performance and quality of life? I wish that someone could've told me, when I was younger. So that's why I'm saying it now.