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Back over here, Wes said we should start statting up some metagame artifacts.
So here's a starter thread for those intrepid enough to take up his mighty challenge! :)
Hah, good luck. I'm going to have to hide this for now though so there isn't cross-contamination. Cross-pollination?
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Since Talking is a free action...
Flask of Many Words
Aura strong Universal; CL 20th
Slot none; Weight 1 lb.
DESCRIPTION
An unremarkable leather flask, the Flask of Many Words resists all attempts to fill it with a substance. A character can, as a standard action, open the flask and bring it to her lips. Upon doing so the user experiences a sensation of something rushing into their lungs. Thereafter, for 24 hours the user may take a free action to talk at any time, even when it is not their turn in initiative. This ability may be used an unlimited number of times per day. This ability has no effect on verbal components of spells or other language-dependent effects or abilities.
DESTRUCTION
The Flask of Many Words can be destroyed by residing for one week in a place of complete and total non-magical silence.
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"Time's Tears", or the Javelin of the Temporal Subjugative Assault
Aura: Strong, Conjuration, Transmutation CL: 20th
Slot: none Weight: 3 lb
Description:
A silvery throwing weapon, this +1 Returning javelin can be passed from through any number of hands using readied actions over the course of a single round, 'taking from one person and handing to the next'.
When the final person 'takes and throws the javelin', the cumulative temporal energy is dumped into the weapon, and it strikes for 1d6 per action that passed it on, to a single increment range of 10' per action (accuracy limited by line of sight sight). If such damage is enough to destroy/kill the target, the javelin passes through them in a straight line to the next target to the end of its range.
After it strikes its target, it reappears at the start of the line that began the Subjugative Assault to be used again, NOT in the hands of the thrower, unlike a normal returning weapon.
The army that has possession of Time's Tears can literally poke holes through entire fortresses, slay the mightiest of dragons, and destroy the greatest of heroes, simply by handing the javelin down lines of several thousand soldiers to a champion thrower at the end who can strike the foe with his throw. 5000d6 of damage hurling nearly ten miles in a straight line tends to be impressive when it hits.
It is said that one major metropolis lined up many of its citizens, passed it through all their hands in a single round, and threw Time's Tears completely through the small mountain which their city was built around, creating a tunnel-pipe used as a guideline for a later digging for a transportation tube.
Destruction
Time's Tears can be destroyed by passing it through 100 million actions in a single round and throwing it, causing it to break the speed of light, convert to pure temporal energy, and detonate in an explosion which probably takes out a good chunk of the planet.
If Time's Tears is interrupted in its actions of being handed, it vents temporal energy back along the line. Every individual who handed the weapon on to the next ages one day for every person who handed it off before the action was interrupted.
If the weapon is not thrown at the end of being handed off, the same effect occurs. Opponents of forces using the javelin have been able to age rival armies ten years and more by exploiting this weakness of Time's Tears.
==Aelryinth
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Rock of Bias
All diagonal movement with in 120' of the Rock of Bias is considered as if the square is not diagonal for its owner and his allies. All others treat all adjacent squares as diagonal. The rock of bias has no effect on flight, swim, climb, or teleportation. The Rock of Bias can vary in size though it rarely changes more than once a century, from as small as a pebble to as large as a mountain.
Cost: 150,000 (maybe less if it happens to be smaller)
CL 30 , no aura.
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Ha! Awesome and mind-bending already. Hilarious. Love the Rock of Bias. ;)
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Necklace of Desperate Relevance
Aura: Strong, Divination
Slot: neck Weight: 1 lb.
This plain silver necklace allows the wearer to converse with those nearby even in conditions in which that is normally not possible, such as when unconscious, underwater, turned to stone or even dead (though in the final case it only lasts until the end of the scene).
There is one unusual restriction on its function, however: The one utilizing this artifact may only do so in order to reveal information that is desperately relevant to those being spoken to or to the topic at hand. This can include elucidating the weaknesses of an opponent that the conversationally challenged bearer has knowledge of, or where the bearer has stashed the group's backup gear.
No force in the known universe has been able to keep this artifact from functioning. The gods themselves bemoan their inability to force the diseased from participating in conversations for which they should no longer be present. Even affecting the surrounding area with total darkness and silence or any number of similar effects fails to stop the conversation.
Destruction
This artifact is destroyed when a bearer triggers its use for the purpose of defending themselves against insult. For male bearers, insulting their endowment is often enough.
I think the gods might bemoan the deceased from participating in conversations, not the diseased.
==Aelryinth
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The Absentee's Amulet
Aura strong enchantment and illusion; CL 20
The Absentee's Amulet appears as an obsidian pendant of elaborate make on a mithral chain. With a command word, the wearer may vanish from existence. While nonexistent, the wearer cannot be affected in any way, and all other creatures are compelled to think up vague and often nonsensical reasons why he is no longer present. Why he is gone will not be questioned, regardless how absurd it might be, such as 'he's got family visiting today' while trekking through mountains months from civilisation.
The wearer may return to existence no less than 24 hours after the activation of the amulet's ability.
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The Absentee's Amulet
Aura strong enchantment and illusion; CL 20The Absentee's Amulet appears as an obsidian pendant of elaborate make on a mithral chain. With a command word, the wearer may vanish from existence. While nonexistent, the wearer cannot be affected in any way, and all other creatures are compelled to think up vague and often nonsensical reasons why he is no longer present. Why he is gone will not be questioned, regardless how absurd it might be, such as 'he's got family visiting today' while trekking through mountains months from civilisation.
The wearer may return to existence no less than 24 hours after the activation of the amulet's ability.
This artifact gets even stronger with the Joiner's Chain it is normally threaded upon.
Joiner's Chain
Aura: Strong Enchantment, Transmutation
CL: 20th
The Chain naturally allows someone who was absent from the party to instantly rejoin them, regardless of how far they have travelled since he was last with them, possibly even joining in the middle of combat. As with the Amulet, any vague excuses for his being able to rejoin them will be accepted, and life will continue on.
It can also be found without an Amulet, generally worn by some person wandering out of nowhere, stumbling across the party, and joining them as an instant equal regardless of the strangeness of such happenstance. In other instances, previous members of the party, or ancient heroes, have shown up out of nowhere for short periods, fit right into the party, and depart with equal ease and no regrets due to the power of the Chain.
Destruction: The Chain is found only on those who were previously or are currently adventurers. Thus, if there are no adventurers past or present left, the Chain is destroyed.
Right?
==Aelryinth
The Ankh of Instant Incarnation (also called the Ankh of the Optimizer's Incarnation).
Aura: Strong Necromancy and Enchantment
CL: 20th
Believed to have been formed as an answer to the Amulet of Absenteeism, the golden Ankh of Instant Incarnation activates when the bearer dies. Within minutes, a brand new incarnation of the character pops up on the scene, complete with level appropriate equipment and feats that often have no bearing whatsoever upon reality or campaign history.
When this ability is activated, the old incarnation and all belongings mysteriously disappear, to appease the Gods of Wealth By Level. Like the Amulet, any excuse offered for this new character to appear out of nowhere and join the party are accepted with at least the same level of trust as the prior character.
The Ankh has been known to be abused by those who are unhappy with their choices in life to commit 'instant suicide' and come back as a more optimal version of themselves. Due to the magic of the Ankh, even names like 'Fighter Bob VI' and the like will be totally ignored and accepted as normal and rote.
It has sometimes been noted that a nominal amount of goods amounting to 5000 gp sometimes vanishes when the Ankh is employed, but this is erratic and does not always occur.
Destruction: The Ankh can be destroyed if used by every single sentient being alive to become a more optimized version of themselves, or if they consciously refuse such a thing. When such event happens, the Ankh condenses down into a single 5000 gp diamond, and is otherwise gone forever.
==Aelryinth
One typo and all criticism is reduced to editorial commentary. Yes, I meant deceased.I think the gods might bemoan the deceased from participating in conversations, not the diseased.
==Aelryinth
These are all in good fun.
The best critique is someone using your trope as springboard to another artifact of metagaminess, like the Chain of Joining and Amulet of Instant Incarnation.
Hah, I thought of a corollary while posting this.
Jewel of Metaknowledge
Aura: Strong Divination CL: 20
This companion item to the Necklace of Desperate Relevance is usually worn on the forehead. Strangely enough, nobody can agree on its exact appearence.
The Jewel acts similarly to an enhancement item for Mental ability scores, and is often imbued with such powers, but the real power of the jewel is its ability to substitute the mental attributes and knowledge of some far-off sagacious being for those of the wearer, seemingly at whim.
Thus, the wearer of the Jewel can suddenly spout out intricate and detailed knowledge of monstrous foes that they have never met before, know weaknesses of creatures and beings he's never met, and be familiar with laws, locations, rules and other knowledge he has never been exposed to. Despite mental scores reminiscent of the severely retarded, the character can come up with intricate battle plans at a moment's notice, those with the charisma and leadership skills of a toad can command their fellows with verve and dispatch, and those with the wisdom of fools will exhibit uncommon clarity and common sense in many situations.
Cost: As per Enhancement item, mental ability scores only.
Destruction: The means of the Jewel's destruction is unknown. When its influence wanes on a particular being, it seems to transport the essence of its power to another jewel, possibly the reason for its changing appearence over ages and worlds.
==Aelryinth
Sheet of the Instant Clone
Aura: Strong Necromancy, Transmutation
CL: 20th
This fine vellum item is found only in possession of characters of 7th level or less. At higher levels, the Sheet is gone, and mysteriously the Ankh of Instant Incarnation seems to take its place, or a 5000 gp diamond imbued with a Raise Dead spell.
After scribbling various words and numbers upon the hide, the Sheet is activated when the character dies. Within one minute, a clone of the original scriber will pop out of nowhere, complete with a numeric addition to the name of the deceased (II, III, IV, etc), lay claim to the original's belongings, and join the party with enthusiasm and gusto, equipping themselves with such speed it seems the gear of the dead almost teleport onto them, fitting right in and mysteriously all up to speed on events that have happened.
The Sheet can be used any number of times by those in possession of one.
Destruction: The Sheet abruptly vanishes from possession of those who attain a certain level of wealth and experience. It is thought that if everyone alive gave up the adventuring life, the Sheet would also vanish forever.
==Aelryinth
Rock of Bias
All diagonal movement with in 120' of the Rock of Bias is considered as if the square is not diagonal for its owner and his allies. All others treat all adjacent squares as diagonal. The rock of bias has no effect on flight, swim, climb, or teleportation. The Rock of Bias can vary in size though it rarely changes more than once a century, from as small as a pebble to as large as a mountain.Cost: 150,000 (maybe less if it happens to be smaller)
CL 30 , no aura.
I would have made these a set of Boots, and called them Boots of Angular Momentum. :)
==Aelryinth
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This is in honor of one of my players.
Ring of Unerring Foreknowledge
Aura strong Divination; CL 20
Slot ring; Weight -.
DESCRIPTION
This embarrasingly large and gaudily ornate ring screams "It's all about me!" No, seriously, it screams this phrase at a level of sound greatly above socially acceptable norms 3 times per day, and immediately upon it's wearer gaining a level.
5 times per day as a free action, the wearer of the Ring of Unerring Foreknowledge can declare that if they had known that another character or monster was going to take a certain action, that they themself would have performed a different action in a previous round. The wearer immediately gains all of the benefits of having taken that action, but none of the consequences of the action (if any exist or would have existed). The power of the ring can be applied to uses of the ring as well, enabling the wearer to disavow a previous use of the ring in response to a character or monster's reaction to that use of the ring.
DESTRUCTION
The Ring of Unerring Foreknowledge cannot be destroyed; any set of circumstances that would lead to its destruction would invariably be avoided by the wearer of the ring in response to being presented with those circumstances.
Outstanding Jeremiziah...simply outstanding...especially considering that I know of the player in who's honor this was dedicated!
This artifact gets even stronger with the Joiner's Chain it is normally threaded upon.Joiner's Chain
Aura: Strong Enchantment, Transmutation
CL: 20thThe Chain naturally allows someone who was absent from the party to instantly rejoin them, regardless of how far they have travelled since he was last with them, possibly even joining in the middle of combat. As with the Amulet, any vague excuses for his being able to rejoin them will be accepted, and life will continue on.
This is already an "Official" Metagaming artifact found in the Artifacts & Legends books, called the Scar of Destiny and every character gets it at character creation.
To go into a little bit more detail without copy+pasting the whole thing (which I don't think you're allowed to do until the book is fully on sale), the Scar "randomly" removes a person from reality where they stay completely safe, secure, and sustained, until they are "randomly" brought back into our reality with no recollection of where they where or what happened in the intervening time. All their gear is taken with them, except for seemingly "random" objects that have been left behind, like oh say... all his potions or that Scroll of Fireball.
I am suprised nobody has come up with something abusing the idea of rounds and being unable to act on an opponent's turn. Imagine if real life was like a combat turn, with people moving in series, and you unable to move along or during the same time frame?
I did the 'railgun ready action', but I can't wrap my head around how to abuse the 'chess move' nature of an RPG.
==Aelryinth
Periapt of Deception of Origin
Aura: Strong Illusion CL: 20
This unassuming necklace makes the character class of its wearer seem less Asian in origin. Any Monk, Ninja or Samurai who wears this necklace seems like a more normal Western class to the DM, and will be now be playable at his table.
Cost: Priceless
Destruction: This necklace must be sundered by the class the DM currently thinks the player is playing at the time to shatter this illusion.
Note: This still won't make Gunslingers playable.
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Amulet of Stopped Time
Aura: Strong Transmutation CL: 20
This amulet, shaped like an hourglass, allows the wearer to stop or resume the flow of time at any moment. The wearer can stop time at any time and for as much time as necessary. It affects the wearer as well and while time is stopped nobody can act.
Destruction: The amulet disintegrates if anyone, while the amulet itself is activated, utters the phrase "Is it my turn yet?"
Full Plate of the Rook
Aura: Strong Abjuration CL: 20
This +5 heavy fortified full plate increases the base speed of the wearer by 100 feet. It is impossible to move diagonally while wearing the Full Plate of the Rook and the character is unable to change direction mid-move.
Destruction: It can only be permanently destroyed by having a person of royal blood leapfrog over the wearer wearing a crown worth no less than 1000 gold pieces.
The Cape of Awesomeness
Aura: Strong Evocation CL: 20
This royal looking cape has gust of wind permanently cast on it that only affects the cape and only when it is worn. This makes the wearer of the cape constantly look dramatic and heroic. It also grants a +5 awesome bonus to Profession (Awesome).
This item can only be destroyed if the character rolls a natural 1 on any awesome check.
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The Tankards of Adventure
Aura: Mild Enchantment(compulsion) CL:7
After drinking from these, a group of neophytes who have never met before, and have nothing in common, immediately grab their gear and leave town in search of adventure, excitement and realy wild things!
Destruction: These tankards can only be destroyed if used in a pub with no beer.
Reggie
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The Cape of Awesomeness
Aura: Strong Evocation CL: 20This royal looking cape has gust of wind permanently cast on it that only affects the cape and only when it is worn. This makes the wearer of the cape constantly look dramatic and heroic. It also grants a +5 awesome bonus to Profession (Awesome).
This item can only be destroyed if the character rolls a natural 1 on any awesome check.
You know, Neil has commented somewhere that they routinely get this as an acutal item in the RPG Superstar contest.
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Here's a metagame artifact which metagames about other metagame artifacts:
Palimpsest of History Rewritten
Aura: strong transmutation; CL: 20thThe pages of this enormous tome are covered in smudges of ink from border to border. Staring intently at a given smudge reveals that the smudge was created by thousands of layers of text written atop one another. A careful reader can pick out individual phrases within the layers of text, each describing a different historical event which may or may not have actually occurred.
By writing over text describing deeds performed by a given individual, a scribe can erase portions of that individual's lifetime from past, present, and future reality. Doing so grants the individual whose historical deeds have been overwritten a Scar of Destiny. A scribe who creates a Scar of Destiny in this manner has no control over the scar's effects unless the scribe is a greater deity.
Finding text pertaining to a specific individual in the palimpsest requires one minute of study and a successful a DC 30 Linguistics check. This check can be retried. Writing over text found in this manner is a standard action that provokes attacks of opportunity.
...aaaaand in a related note, my item for this year was TOTALLY GOING TO BE A PALIMPSEST. *shakes fist*
The game jumpers slab.
Aura: Strong unless on plane of origin; CL: 20th
This metal rectangle has buttons made of some gemlike materials, and a similar display.
Made in a strange, low magic, futuristic, game world, this thing opens weird tunnels between active game worlds. Warning, a world overrun with zombies can be interpreted as active. It takes an intelligence of at least 18 to operate it. It works only once a 24 hour day. You have to write down the numbers on the display to have any chance of retracing your steps.
Method of destruction: It's easily smashed, but it's high tech nature makes it immune to magic.
the amulet of nightmares
Aura; Strong Conjuration CL 20th
this amulet links a character with the mind of an outside entity called Dee Ehm. when you think of a situation that happens to be unfavorable, the Entity known as Dee Ehm may have a chance of whipping together that circumstance to spite you and whispers tell you not to give Dee Ehm any ideas. any ideas are used against you in a hostile manner no matter how prepared you might be.
Method of Destruction; an offering to Appease Dee Ehm suppresses the effects of this amulet. however, it is otherwise indestructible.
Dust of Dimensionality
When spread over a nondimensional space, this dust converts it to an extradimensional space. When spread over an extradimensional space, it converts it to a nondimensional space.
Goblet of Intersections
When a creature drinks from a water-filled Goblet of Intersections that creature is touched by an unknown power and cursed with the curse of intersections. From now on, at all times, the character is forced to stand only on intersections of grid lines. The character is considered, for all effects, as occupying all four squares around the intersection. If damaged by a spell that specifically targets intersections rather than spaces or creatures, the victim takes double damage.
In my games, we always used this one.
Metagame Fairy
Aura: Strong Conjuration CL 20th
The Metagame Fairy is a small jeweled statue, 6 inches tall, which flies, speaks, and moves like a living sprite. No known force has ever captured the Metagame Fairy or impeded its movements.
The Metagame Fairy appears seemingly at random and recites information a creature needs to know but otherwise shouldn't, such as the weaknesses of an enemy, a good tactical plan, or a better understanding of economics. Often, the Metagame Fairy will find parties of adventurers who are divided into groups, informing one group about what the other one is doing, or what courses of action would most benefit their missing companions, and has even been known to deliver messages from one group to the other, allowing missing companions to weigh in and debate an issue they otherwise should know nothing about.
No one knows why or how the Metagame Fairy decides who to impart information to, but it is believed that the Metagame Fairy serves extra-planar entities who like to take vested interests in groups of adventurers. Sometimes, however, when the Metagame Fairy gives a particularly valuable or plan-changing piece of information, the Metagame Fairy will stab the creature it is speaking to in the neck. This deals 1d6 points of damage, +1 per HD of the creature stabbed. No known force can stop the Metagame Fairy from stabbing a creature in the neck, and this attack always hits. These stabs come seemingly at random, as if some cosmic force which even these extra-planar entities must obey guides the Fairy's hands when it feels too much information has been delivered, and a price must be exacted to balance the scales.
The Metagame Fairy is indestructible, can teleport and planeshift at will, and is never impeded by effects or spells that would injure it or stop it's ability to teleport and planeshift.
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RPG Superstar 2015 Top 16, RPG Superstar 2013 Top 16
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Wayfinder of Plot
Aura: strong divination; CL: 20
This magical compass bears all the properties of a standard wayfinder, except that its arrow always points in the direction of the next encounter. Once per day, it can answer a single question as if using commune.
The wayfinder of plot is destroyed if its bearer ever deliberately travels in a different direction than that displayed by the arrow.
Monocle of Interactivity
Aura: strong divination; CL: 20
Slot: eyes; Weight: --
This appears to be a simple monocle, but close inspection reveals that it is a priceless treasure: a lens of flawless diamond set in a loop of mithral. When looking through the monocle, any object that could be physically manipulated by the wearer to produce an effect on the current encounter will be limned in a soft glow as if by faerie fire. For instance, the monocle of interactivity would reveal such things as obtainable treasure, trap mechanisms, locks, mechanisms to open secret doors, even regular doorknobs. It would not, for instance, highlight a desk drawer unless that drawer contained something of significance to the adventure. The monocle of interactivity does not function in combat.
The monocle of interactivity cannot be destroyed, but it can be toggled.
Scroll of Mapping
Aura: strong divination; CL: 20
This square sheet measures 3 feet on a side and is made of some unidentifiable variety of silk. When spread on a surface and the command word spoken, it displays a complete floor plan of any artificial structures, centered on the map's current location, at 1/60 scale. If the structure has more than one floor, only the floor on which the map is currently located is shown. The map does not show the contents of rooms, traps, hidden doors, nor secret doors; only the floor plans.
The scroll of mapping can be destroyed by spilling food or drink on it.
I have some in this Pathways. Didn't want to cross the streams of ideas with this thread, so hid it. But there are a ton of cool artifacts in this thread.
I feel that the Wayfinder of Plot could also serve as an object that shows green exclamation points over the heads of various important NPCs :)
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Headband of Temporal Distortion
Strong Conjuration CL: 20
Slot: Head
Charges: Unlimited
This item appears as a thin white cloth headband and is imperceptible to the touch of the wearer. Anyone trying to remove it from the wearer suffers 10d6 force damage with no save allowed and automatically fails their attempt.
The wearer can, as a free action, stretch time indefinately in order consider their actions carefully before taking them. They can also move in order to ponder their position and reverse time to undo their move an unlimited number of times each round.
Other creatures are aware that time has been distorted, as well as being painfully aware of everything the wearer is doing, but are otherwise unable to take any action until the normal flow of time is restored. For every 2 minutes that time is distorted, all other creatures (including allies) must make a DC 10 will save against boredom or incur the dazed condition. If the creature is already dazed it becomes fatigued. If it is already fatigued it becomes catatonic. The save DC increases by 1 each time the save is made in the same day.
If the remaining members of the party retire due to mental fatigue the artifact teleports itself to the abyssal plane, taking the wearer with it.
In my games, we always used this one.
Metagame Fairy
Aura: Strong Conjuration CL 20thThe Metagame Fairy is a small jeweled statue, 6 inches tall, which flies, speaks, and moves like a living sprite. No known force has ever captured the Metagame Fairy or impeded its movements.
The Metagame Fairy appears seemingly at random and recites information a creature needs to know but otherwise shouldn't, such as the weaknesses of an enemy, a good tactical plan, or a better understanding of economics. Often, the Metagame Fairy will find parties of adventurers who are divided into groups, informing one group about what the other one is doing, or what courses of action would most benefit their missing companions, and has even been known to deliver messages from one group to the other, allowing missing companions to weigh in and debate an issue they otherwise should know nothing about.
No one knows why or how the Metagame Fairy decides who to impart information to, but it is believed that the Metagame Fairy serves extra-planar entities who like to take vested interests in groups of adventurers. Sometimes, however, when the Metagame Fairy gives a particularly valuable or plan-changing piece of information, the Metagame Fairy will stab the creature it is speaking to in the neck. This deals 1d6 points of damage, +1 per HD of the creature stabbed. No known force can stop the Metagame Fairy from stabbing a creature in the neck, and this attack always hits. These stabs come seemingly at random, as if some cosmic force which even these extra-planar entities must obey guides the Fairy's hands when it feels too much information has been delivered, and a price must be exacted to balance the scales.
The Metagame Fairy is indestructible, can teleport and planeshift at will, and is never impeded by effects or spells that would injure it or stop it's ability to teleport and planeshift.
Hey! Listen!
In other words, dotting.