Comically misspelled spells

[Celestial Healer]

Not quite a misspelling, but I have never stopped laughing about the Leomund's Hairy Chest alias.

[Celestial Healer]

Tiny Coffee Golem wrote:

Yeast shape I-IV

Breast Shape I-IV

[Tiny Coffee Golem]

Celestial Healer wrote:

Tiny Coffee Golem wrote:

Yeast shape I-IV

Breast Shape I-IV

AKA:

Breast shape A through D

[Conman the Bardbarian]

massage

Turd undead - more of a forgotten power

Curt Serious Hounds

Good Dope

Remove Purse

Tiny Butt

Neuterize Posiedon

Entrail

[El Dios De Los Almas Perdidas]

Burning Glands
K*ck (still can open some doors)
Ray of Entitlement

[Mazlith]

Enlarge Privates

[Conman the Bardbarian]

cHaste

[Scintillae]

Dimension Deer
Dimension Dork
Dimension Dour
Dimension Fore
Dimension Gore
Dimension Boar
Dimension Core
Dimension Corps
Dimension Tour

[I'm Hiding In Your Closet]

Mage's Lubrication (Seriously? I have to bring this one up? It's like the granddaddy of this whole gimmick!)

Inflict Critical Words

Briarfall

Lightening Belt

Zeroism

Protection from Goo

Protection from Devo

Protection from Claw

Protection from House

Tragic Missile

Mage's Magnificent Mention

Spell Sequins

Time Slop

Hats

Slaw

Continency

Wash

[Conman the Bardbarian]

Open/Clothes

Hideous Daughter

[Conman the Bardbarian]

Wall of Forts

Maize

Mage's Misfunction

Mage Armoire

Legend Bore

Locate Feature

Hump

Irresistible Pants

Zeroe's Least

Hallucinatory Train

detect undies

glibMess

glittedrust

Poorsight

Force it

Deather Fall

Endure Elephants

Doop

Integrate

Diminish Ants

Detect Stares and T...

Detect secret who is that lady

Detect Crying

Resur e Rection

sympathetic vibration - not a misspellig just misplacement in the order

Resist ants

rusting crap

Ruprickt

Sh*tter

Shield of Bait

spear with head

spider grimb

stable eyes

someone monster

symbol of percussion

telepathetic blond

tongs

touch of fat guy

transmute rectal to food

waves of fat guys

wimp wall

someone's anomaly

[Tiny Coffee Golem]

Mazlith wrote:

Enlarge Privates

Enlarge privates, Mass

Reduce Privates
Reduce privates, mass

[I'm Hiding In Your Closet]

Command Pants
Diminish Pants
Pants Growth
Antipants Shell
Speak With Pants

[littlehewy]

Wall of Torts. (particularly effective in a legal battle)

Power Word, Stud. (do I make you horny, baby..?)

[DJ-Bogie]

Not spells but still funny:

Multi-Crass Character

Gerbal Spell Component

Proficiencies:

Blond Fighting

Gerbalism

TightGoat Walking

Haunting

Animal Gore

Germ Cutting

Languages, Irrelevant

Peemanship

Featherworking

Direction Scents

Ancient Bigotry

Local Bigotry

App raising and downloading

Bowler / Fetcher

[Haladir]

Colors Pray

Sharkvision

Chain Linking

Death Knee

Geeze/Quits

Wall of Farts

Black Testicles

[Brox RedGloves]

I dated a girl once who thought the spell Summon Familiar was actually
SOME UNFAMILIAR

I broke up with her soon after that

[I'm Hiding In Your Closet]

Disrupt Undies
Detect Undies
Command Undies
Control Undies
Undies to Death
Shroud of Undies
Create Undies
Create Greater Undies

[DJ-Bogie]

Cure Critical Wounds can become:

Cure Critical Hounds

Cause Critical Warts

Cause Serious Sounds

Cause Critical Pounds ( The spell component is Ice Cream and Cake )

[Celestial Healer]

Colon Spray

[DJ-Bogie]

:) :) :) That's just wrong!!!!

[I'm Hiding In Your Closet]

Ray of Fist (probably another Qigong Monk spell)

Disrobe Undead (those darn vampires, they never seem to mind...)

Magic Frizzle (my advice, play it safe: stick to consorting with genies and demons)

Shopping Grasp (only with its power can you hope to obtain the Doll of Me-Tickling)

Acid Marrow (admittedly, not much comical about this spell)

Scorching Rat (Hmm, dastardly demolition spell, or New York street food?)

Foyer Ball (the material components are a large but politely unspecified sum of money and a vial of blue blood)

Lightyear Bolt (only does 1d8 damage but the range alone makes it an epic-level spell)

Snack Tentacles (freeze-dried)

Stout (a 20-foot cone of dark, full-bodied beer - your enemies die happy)

Cloudkrill (distracts bad guys, feeds whales - good spell!)

Clone of Cold (make another Reflex save, Marthian!)

Chair Lightning (a once-popular spell now outlawed in Europe)

Circle of Depps (you must admit, a 40-foot radius burst of Scissorhands', Sparrows, and Todds would be scary)

Prismatic Sprat (one fish, two fish, red fish, blue fish, orange fish, green fish, oh dear, they just keep coming...)

Finger of Heath (makes pencils disappear)

Molar Ray (Sorcerer/Wizard 8, Dentist 1)

Hobbit Wilting (admittedly, a very specialized spell, but quite likely worth taking)

Matador Swarm (and its reverse version, Minotaur Swarm)

Fail of the Banshee ("FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU...!!!!!")

[Marthian]

I'm Hiding In Your Closet wrote:

Clone of Cold (make another Reflex save, Marthian!)

NOT AGAIN! 1d20 + 9 ⇒ (18) + 9 = 27 Does a 27 make it?

Phantasmal Biller
Arcane Fright
Plow'd Kill
Torso Hook Charge
Restruction
Forum's Armor
Vampiric, Much?
Sponges
Glass Ward

[The Eldritch Mr. Shiny]

Divine Flavor

[Tiny Coffee Golem]

The Eldritch Mr. Shiny wrote:

Divine Flavor

MMmmmm Demigod

[I'm Hiding In Your Closet]

Marthian wrote:

NOT AGAIN! 1d20+9 Does a 27 make it?

Sure, 27 makes it.

Create Waiter
Bleep
Stab All Eyes
Guide Ants
Arcane Fark
Antacid Splash
Purify Druid and Fink
Defect Magic
Read Slashfic
Taze
Tight
Danzig Lights
Pasta Visitation

[Charlie Bell]

Ray of floss

[I'm Hiding In Your Closet]

Laminate Dead
Protection from Weevil
Protection from Flaw
Protection from Mood
Protection from Chows

[Tiny Coffee Golem]

I'm Hiding In Your Closet wrote:

Laminate Dead

When tupperware just won't do.

[Kip84]

Charlie Bell wrote:

Ray of floss

I imagine this would be handy!

[Charlie Bell]

Haunted Tina Fey aspect

[Charles Scholz]

Heel
Day of Frost
Con of Cold
Engorge Person

[DJ-Bogie]

Flaming Sparrow

[Dal Selpher]

I'm still laughing about colon spray

[DJ-Bogie]

Rock to Bud, very popular at college parties.

[darth_borehd]

Protection from Elephants
Piss-o-matic Spray
Mad Honkeys

[Celestial Healer]

Dal Selpher wrote:

I'm still laughing about colon spray

:)

[Tiny Coffee Golem]

Celestial Healer wrote:

Dal Selpher wrote:

I'm still laughing about colon spray

:)

Me too.

[Conman the Bardbarian]

My wife isn't.

[I'm Hiding In Your Closet]

Power Word Stub

Powdered Worm Blend

Power Word Kilt (turns ordinary people into Scotsmen)

[FallofCamelot]

Protection from Elephants

[ulgulanoth]

Power Word Stud
Cloud Bill

[Midnight_Angel]

Power Word: Fun
Power Word: Chill
Brain Strike

and, Oldie but Goldie:

Tensor Transformation

[Sissyl]

Johnny Mnemonic Enhancer (damn that movie needs it)
Dread Magic
Bread Magic
Cause Minor Hounds
Leomund's Tiny Butt
Power Word F*+&
Integrate (Less well known reverse of disintegrate)
Summon Cheese El-Emmenthal

[Celestial Healer]

Sissyl wrote:

Leomund's Tiny Butt

*snerk*

[I'm Hiding In Your Closet]

Mordenkainen's Magnificent Men-and-their-flying-machines

Melf's Flaccid Arrow

Elminster's Effulgent Epilation

Tenser's Floating Dick

Tasha's Hideous Daughter

Simbul's Skeletal Delinquency

Big Bee's Crushing Hand

[MaxAstro]

Contagious Blame was mentioned in another thread (complete with spell write-up!) and remains on my favorites.

Bigby's Groping Hand

See a Lineman

Aunt Haul

Prestadigitization

Unnatural Must

[Celestial Healer]

I'm Hiding In Your Closet wrote:

Tenser's Floating Dick

I'm going to be laughing about this all day.

[Fatespinner]

No Direction (allows you to make someone else become lost)

Sea Invisibility (renders bodies of water invisible)

Arcane Aye (allows you to agree with someone magically)

Detest Thoughts (allows you to hate everything people around you are thinking about)

Incest Swarm (........ew)

Lightening Bolt (causes everything in a 120' line to weigh less)

[Tiny Coffee Golem]

Celestial Healer wrote:

I'm Hiding In Your Closet wrote:

Tenser's Floating Dick

I'm going to be laughing about this all day.

I saw that cast at a parade in New Orleans a few years ago. I was all very festive.