Comically misspelled spells

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Abundant amputation

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A Bundt Cake Ambulation

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Go to abundant ammunition.

So all bunt cake eaten the round before disappears? Again?

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No. It creates an animated bundt cake that walks around for a few rounds.

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Abort Face

Liberty's Edge

Enclose Head

Urban graze

Summon nature's alley(cat)

Summon Nature's Walleye
Summon Nature's Pally
Summon Nature's Galleon

Summon instructions

Shadow Lodge

Hokey Smile

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Summon summons.
Summon Distraction(you could get the monster, or 3 goblins named Curley, Larry, and Moe with fireworks)

Scarab Sages

Arcane Spock
Bully Shield
Crimson Confetti
Node of Blustering
Obscure Objectivity
Racist Energy
Curate Moderate Wounds
Delay Poisson
Guardian Armoire
Commuting Mount
Analyze Areola
Clam Emotions
Daisy Monster
Demand Offing
Inflict Paint
Investigative Mint
Tactical Acapulco
Burning Graze
Campfire Wallaby
Flaming Schmear
Frost Falafel

Clone of Cold(brings back a favorite character, such as Captain Cold)

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Fireballs (creates a profoundly burning sensation in the target)
BrironBeard (dwarf transforms to resemble Brian Blessed)

A typo:

Cure eight wounds


Ray of enablement

KenderKin wrote:
Ray of enablement

Lets a drunken master drink twice as fast!

Prismatic Spear
Wall of Chrome

Dance of a thousand sluts

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Guardian Amore': Summons a lvl 5 half-orc Barbarian to defend and make sweet, sweet love to the caster.

Moment of Geatness: Touched creature gains +4 on attack and damage rolls against giants and dragons for 1 rnd/lvl. Material Component: One troll arm.

Black Staffing: Replaces inept hirelings with usually better African American employees.

Black Testicles: curses the reproductive organs to necrotize and fall off in1d4+(Con bonus) days,

Interposing Gland
Raise Bread
Irresistible Glance
Joyful Raptor
Symbol of Sheep
Beard (Weird)

Incarcerated rope
Cause Peer
Remote Beer
Silent Grimace
Summon Mobster, Fun!
Altar Shelf
Animated Messager
Cure Moderate Foods
Date Monster
Glitterdust... ;)

Shadow Lodge

Mage's S Word

Scarab Sages

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Create Slaughter
Weeb (fills a 20'-foot radius with manga, action figures, pillows, and gods-only-know what else)
Polandmorph (turns you into a red-and-white ball; cannot be cast in outer space)
Major Accretion

Bouncy Buddy
Fox's Cunny
Fry (Really??? This hadn't been done until NOW?)
Persistent Tigger
Elude Thyme
I Bite

Hide Bruces ("Where's Bruce?" "'E's not 'ere, Bruce...")
British Portal
Chaim Identity (You wouldn't rather shapeshift into a nice Jewish boy, maybe?)

Dissect Magic
Farting Duplicate ("It was HIM!")
Bullette Ward
Beacon of Suck
Zone of SCIENCE!
Find Mog ("Barf? BAAARF...!")
Yellow Sine (use this symbol to subject all who view it to the will of HastPythagoras)

Scarab Sages

Nauseating Fart

Scarab Sages

Clam Air
Clam Animals
Clam Emotions
Clam Spirit
Illusion of Clam
Mantle of Clam

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Pathfinder Pathfinder Accessories, Starfinder Adventure Path, Starfinder Roleplaying Game, Starfinder Society Subscriber; Pathfinder Roleplaying Game Superscriber

Angelic Wangs

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Pathfinder Pathfinder Accessories, Starfinder Adventure Path, Starfinder Roleplaying Game, Starfinder Society Subscriber; Pathfinder Roleplaying Game Superscriber

Control Waiter
Create Foot
Dragon Farm
Blaming Sphere
Heat Animal
Horrid Tilting
Inspire Tourage
Ki Stroke
Pass Without Grace
Plane Shaft
Remove Purse
Secret Wage
Spill Immunity
Summon Mobster
Tree Shame
Vampiric Torch
Bone of Truth

If any of these were used before kindly ignore them as I accidentally cast Gentle Repost.

Magic mistletoe. Does more damage and is envenomed.
Yule touch. I think they become paralyzed by being wrapped in christmas decorations.

Scarab Sages

Create Walter
Create Food and Walter
Bless Walter
Curse Walter
Enhance Walter
Control Walter
Heavy Walter
Rising Walter
Blood in the Walter
Walter Walk
Walter Breathing
Walter Shield


Magic MILFsile.

Meatier Swarm

Scarab Sages

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Beak (gives an object the broken condition by summoning a large parrot to chew it to bits)
Death from Bellow
Chain of Partition
Pullet Blast (creates an explosion of conjured chickens)

McResistance (0th-level for Razmiran Priests, 9th-level for corporate Democrats)
Celestial Hearing (Required Material Focus: 1 Very Large Array)
Pear's Endurance (subject takes a -4 penalty to Constitution in the form of rapid decay and easy bruising, also imparts the Delicious racial feature)
Contest of Spill
Chaos Hummer (a favorite of both Gorumite and Calistrian Clerics, but each done very differently; one version guzzles petroleum, the other guzzles something else)
Cold Iron Fritters
Gyros Feast
Bestow Grace of the Champon (target gains abilities of Nagasaki's signature dish for 1 round/level)
Overwhelming Peasants (Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large numbers!)

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Scintillae wrote:
Detect tragic

Good for weeding out those dark backstories so your game can be 100% angst-free murderhoboing.

Celestial Healer wrote:
Breast Shape I-IV

Well now we know where those impossible female figures come from.

I'm Hiding In Your Closet wrote:
Tragic Missile

For killing all those dark backstories. Because why not be able to murderhobo character development?

I'm Hiding In Your Closet wrote:

Should be on every spell list. No exceptions.

I'm Hiding In Your Closet wrote:
Scorching Rat (Hmm, dastardly demolition spell, or New York street food?)

Depending on what it does to you digestive system it can be both!

I'm Hiding In Your Closet wrote:
Read Slashfic

I seriously need this spell.

DJ-Bogie wrote:
Bigby's Crushing Band

When you absotively, posolutely, have to make a rockin' entrance.

Locke1520 wrote:
Underwhelming Presence

For when you need to make your rival's rockin' entrance not-rockin'.

I'm Hiding In Your Closet wrote:
Commune With Nerds

Aka "playing D&D".

GoatToucher wrote:
Burning Hams - Either ruin Easter or really work your quads.

Or someone set a bunch of overactors on fire.

I'm Hiding In Your Closet wrote:
Zone of SCIENCE!

Turns all magic into quasi-explicable phenomena that don't really make sense if you think about them.

Bull's Length
Ray of Lost
Bare Endurance
Hideous Hastur
Eagle's Miasma
Speak with TED

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Protection from Oud
Protection from Knaw
Protection from Murphy's Law
Protection from Kneivel
Protection from Soak
Protection from Kate Moss

Scarab Sages

SilvercatMoonpaw wrote:

Protection from Murphy's Law

Actually, this is just protection from Chaos.

Kale Hammer.

Protection from D'awww
Magic Circle against D'awww

Air Bud Walk(Made for riding dogs, it works on all mounts)

Scarab Sages

Chameleon Scares (summons a little chameleon to look at your enemies and go "Raah!")
Call Whoopin' (summons a paddle, heavy belt, or oaken switch to tan yer enemy's hide until it glows in the dark, y'hear?!)
Börkskin (grants +2 Swedish bonus to natural armor, Craft [Cooking]) checks, and damage rolls with light and one-handed slashing weapons
Ass Storm
Egolocation (allows you to find yourself; remember - wherever you go, there you are)
Insect Plaque microscopic wasp swarms attack creatures' teeth
Reaming Pit

Hassid Splash (orb of kosher wine does 1d3 Ultra-Orthodox damage)
Aida (+1 to Perform (Sing) and Linguistics checks in Ancient Osirian, +1d8 temporary love-slaves +1/level)
Klee Skin (grants DR 5/art criticism)
Curse of the Oat-Cast (saddles target with a ridiculous nut-and-berries type of all-natural poultice)
Flume Strike (smites foes with logs rapidly descending a waterslide)
Commune With Texas


Scarab Sages

Asp (summons a tiny viper as an immediate action)
Commune With Boids (exlusive to Urban Druids/Rangers/Bloodragers)
Aspect of the Beer (become lighter, darker, crisper, heavier, hoppier, or maltier as you choose)
MAD Monkeys (summons a Gang of Idiots with typewriters)
Mike Gravel Vortex (conjures a giant goddamn rock and launches it into a pond; any who witness it risk becoming shaken and/or confused)
Tidal Sarge (conjures a water elemental with Fighter levels, mostly to shout at people and smoke cigars)
Green Cares (...but it isn't easy)
Siege of Cheese (transforms hard cheeses into cannon-shots, soft cheeses into boiling oil, and stinky cheeses into bioweapons)
Wall of Lava™ (creates a wall of heavy-duty soap)
Lashing Crocks (this may not seem like an epic spell - but it is)

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I'm sure several of these have already been done, but:

Animate Lead
Cause Bear
Crusader's Hedge
Crusader's Ledge
Disguise Elf
Flesh to Scone
Forceful Trike
King's Cattle
Magic Scone
Make Hole
Mask of Justice
Mime Stop
Power Word: Bind
Power Word: Hill
Rad Magic
Remove Bear
Sands of Lime
Scales of Defection
Stun Metal
Touch of Lumber
Unholy Light

Scarab Sages

False Wife ("...Then her husband says, 'but the guy I loaned my costume to had a GREAT time that night!'")
Marry a Net-Possession (AKA the gold-digger spell)
Ague Resistance
Dream Realty (How did you EVER manage to cast a magnificent mansion with a 1st-level spell slot?!?)
Twix Form (for when you need a moment to chew it over)

Breed (as a 0-level spell, almost anyone can cast it; such a shame, that)
Compile Hostility (a prerequisite for the Grievance-Collector feat)
Midden Knowledge (a prerequisite for the Settlement Archaeologist prestige class)
Bust of Speed (they act as ballast)
Bottlemind Link (the liquor understands you...literally)

Spork (SPORK!)
Emblazon Chest (show 'em the battleship - both guns!)
Lust of Wind ("I feel a stiff breeze coming upon us....")
Slut Storm
Comptrolled Fireball (issues quarterly reports on just how much you've really been spending on bat guano)
Cosmic Manta Ray ("My's full of plankton....")
Borrowed Thyme (Take extra rosemary actions at the cost of parsley damage)

Rest oration(They can only cast one spell a week on you because you sleep for a week)

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