GMing headaches


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Grand Lodge

So this weekend I'll be GMing the first session of my first new campaign in years (and my first pathfinder campaign ever). For months now I've been trying to create this believable fantasy world for my players that I can use again and again for many campaigns to come. Two of my players have responded to this effort on my part for attention to detail in two similar ways:

1) One player, a samurai, has named his horse Anthrax. No big deal, aside from the deadly substance we equate the name to, it sounds fantasy-y out of context.

2) Another player, a player who's only stated goals in the game are to troll the other players, steal anything not nailed down, and just be a general jackass, is playing a catfolk ninja and has named himself Lion-O and plans on taking the Leadership feat to gain a cohort he will name Snarf. He also wants his home village to be named Thundera.

Awesome.

This player, player #2, strives to behave this way in real life as well (minus the kleptomania...that I know of), so I wasn't surprised at his decision to play a character like this. I decided to take him as a player due to my horribly bad luck recruiting others to join. I learned a long time ago not to stifle the playing styles of your players, as that can lead to them grief-ing you and the other players, just outright quitting, or sometimes worse, having general disinterest in the game, so I'm trying to nurture his humor-driven playing style while still trying to maintain some form of verisimilitude and keep the schadenfreude down to a minimum.

Have any other GMs come across this and, I guess more importantly, has it been enough to grind your gears the wrong way? Likewise, have any players had to play with other players like this? I'm interested to hear anyone's thoughts/advice/rage on this subject.

Grand Lodge

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If the player makes the game unfun for me or other players, he is not welcome at my table. Such a character would quickly learn the consequences of his actions, and if the player dared to say he was 'just playing his character' I would point out 'you chose to play this character and have no one else to blame'.


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Strife2002 wrote:
...I decided to take him as a player due to my horribly bad luck recruiting others to join...

I suggest you may wish to consider the order of cause and effect in this arrangement.


If the player is a jackass then play with one less player.
If the game isn't fun for the others then you have 0 players.

Grand Lodge

Dabbler wrote:
Strife2002 wrote:
...I decided to take him as a player due to my horribly bad luck recruiting others to join...
I suggest you may wish to consider the order of cause and effect in this arrangement.

If by that you mean others aren't playing because he is, that's not the issue in this case. He was the last person to "sign up" so to speak, and everyone else that had potential to start playing bowed out due to their own apathy or laziness (or other commitments). I never mentioned anything about the other players to them.


I'm reading between the lines something that you may not be saying. It's the naming that bothers you. It's anachronistic and/or pop-cultural references that are bothering you.

That's a fine line. Some players just don't take things seriously. "Captain Boogereater" is a great name, and they expect to take their orders from a King named "Kong".

Shrug. There's not a lot that you can do about that. When someone's got it in their heads to play a caricature instead of a character, you're in trouble. About all you can do (if the group as a whole is comfortable) is bull on. Every NPC should be asking Lion-O why his parents hated him so much to give him such a stupid name. "Sure, I get it... catfolk, but you don't meet elves named 'Pointy-ear', right? It's 'cuz their parents loved them." The horse? Roll with it. "Seriously, your horse is named after a disease? What's wrong with you?"

We live in a world with people named "Fitty Cent" and "Eminem", so moron-naming-convention has precedent, but it's still dumb. It's your call to basically call the players on it, in-game. Don't bother out-of-game. You can't win that fight.


NOT TO OFFEND ANYONE I'M JUST TELLING A STORY.

we have a person very similar in our group, except he's always so sexual. he's playing a cleric of POOTIS (sandwiches, look it up), is wearing nothing but knee high stilettos, a pink thong, and always cast light on his schlong.

if you don't show up to play, its almost a guarentee that your PC is going to be raped by this guy. We encounter a problem.....solution one is to burn the place down.

He isn't a bad player. he is realativly new at the game, less than a year. I personally do not like him playing with us as a player even though he is one of my best friends. However, the Gm and other fellow players have no issues with him that they will share with me.

How can I deal with him in game? I try to ignore these issues in game but its just becoming to much.

Grand Lodge

@anguish Yes. Actually I wasn't trying to be vague about that, that's what I was originally going to talk about and I found myself spiraling into the topic of this one particular player's playing style.

Good advice, and believe me I know about stupid names. I'm a lead for the production department of a school photography company. The crap people are naming their offspring these days is criminal.

Shadow Lodge

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Pathfinder Lost Omens, Maps, Rulebook Subscriber
Strife2002 wrote:
Likewise, have any players had to play with other players like this? I'm interested to hear anyone's thoughts/advice/rage on this subject.

It won't help you much, I'm afraid.

I have encountered a player like this. I deal with it in a very simple way - I never "have to play" with that player; if my only way of avoiding it is to walk away from the table, that's what I'll do.

Grand Lodge

@g0atsticks ...Holy hell man...that sounds awful. My situation is similar in that this guy is also my friend.

On a related note, I played in a 3.x game once in college where we had a male barbarian, played by a chick, who was obsessed with the claiming of "trophies" from his/her fallen opponents. These trophies always took the form of male genitalia. I recall once we killed a flesh golem and she got upset because she felt it was perfectly reasonable for a flesh golem to have this seemingly useless-in-this-context feature (even though it's a collection of body parts sewn together), so the GM decided to concede and let her make a low Search check to locate one randomly stitched to the thing's shoulder.

*facepalm* I swear to Irori people are nuts.


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Player 1 would be welcome in my games, but he would have to deal with the in-game consequences of playing a doofus character.

Player 2 would be shown the door unless he promised to play nice, and if he didn't, he'd be shown the door. My time is too valuable for me to invest that much time and effort into an endeavor that is meant to be fun for a group of people and have one jackass turn it into his personal ego-gratifying power trip.


g0atsticks wrote:

NOT TO OFFEND ANYONE I'M JUST TELLING A STORY.

we have a person very similar in our group, except he's always so sexual. he's playing a cleric of POOTIS (sandwiches, look it up), is wearing nothing but knee high stilettos, a pink thong, and always cast light on his schlong.

if you don't show up to play, its almost a guarentee that your PC is going to be raped by this guy. We encounter a problem.....solution one is to burn the place down.

He isn't a bad player. he is realativly new at the game, less than a year. I personally do not like him playing with us as a player even though he is one of my best friends. However, the Gm and other fellow players have no issues with him that they will share with me.

How can I deal with him in game? I try to ignore these issues in game but its just becoming to much.

I dunno how you can deal with him.

As for me, I'd just tell him to stop being such a douche bag pervert or I'll have to find a game that doesn't make me throw up.

Grand Lodge

Adamantine Dragon wrote:

Player 1 would be welcome in my games, but he would have to deal with the in-game consequences of playing a doofus character.

Player 2 would be shown the door unless he promised to play nice, and if he didn't, he'd be shown the door. My time is too valuable for me to invest that much time and effort into an endeavor that is meant to be fun for a group of people and have one jackass turn it into his personal ego-gratifying power trip.

Interestingly, Player 1 named his horse that because he claims he's terrible at thinking of fantasy names and that sounded the coolest.

Funny enough, my ORIGINAL original gripe about player 2 that nobody's mentioning, before the dumb name and the desire to be immature, was his desire to steal everything. This guy plays the Elder Scroll games and the Fallout games the same way: grabbing every object with even a 1 cp price and hernia-crawling for miles to a merchant to sell it. Basically I feared this guy would walk into a shop with magic items, steal as much stuff as he could carry, and attempt to sell it, blowing the WBL values away. I've already asked about this in a past thread and got some really good advice about how to deal with it.

And to be fair, the guy isn't JUST interested in doing these annoying things. He actually does have some more traditional PC goals (search for someone to be the new leader to his village, kill a god and take his place, etc.), it's just these are overshadowed by his other dumb goals, and even these legit ones are unimaginative.

Grand Lodge

I consider the desire to steal everything part of the 'being immature' problem.


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Strife2002 wrote:
a player who's only stated goals in the game are to troll the other players...and just be a general jackass

I would boot this player. I can see no earthly reason you would strive to keep him. An empty chair is a preferrable option. I'd also never associate with him in real life. Such people are toxic and to be avoided.


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Strife2002 wrote:
Another player, a player who's only stated goals in the game are to troll the other players, steal anything not nailed down, and just be a general jackass...

In general, I wouldn't allow a character like that in my game. And, I generally wouldn't want to play at all with a player who wanted to make a character like that.


Strife2002 wrote:
Funny enough, my ORIGINAL original gripe about player 2 that nobody's mentioning, before the dumb name and the desire to be immature, was his desire to steal everything. This guy plays the Elder Scroll games and the Fallout games the same way: grabbing every object with even a 1 cp price and hernia-crawling for miles to a merchant to sell it. Basically I feared this guy would walk into a shop with magic items, steal as much stuff as he could carry, and attempt to sell it, blowing the WBL values away. I've already asked about this in a past thread and got some really good advice about how to deal with it.

Actions have consequences. It burns a gaming session and a party, but sometimes the best thing you can do is let it play out. If he gets caught, the guards are called in, and they either die resisting arrest or end up roleplaying a lengthy trial sequence.

If the other players enjoy it, great! If they don't, they know who to blame.


Sounds like the way we played the game when we were 10 years old.

Not my cup of tea, and if it's not your or your other player's cup either, then it's better to either have a talk with this player and explain the playing style you prefer or ask him to find another group.

The last option is hard because no one wants to be a jerk, but you can explain it in a way that states it's nothing personal but you think the player would be better off/happier in someone else's campaign that suits his playing style. Explain that you want to take the roleplaying more seriously and build the ambience of the game and the world you've created, and would prefer that players try this out rather than just do the cartoon/Monty Python silliness stuff.

Grand Lodge

Not to sound like the battered wife defending the husband to the cops, but the guy in real life is harmless, to the point that all of our friends find his "antics" quirky and charming (think "Oh, you!" *cue sitcom laugh-track*).

But I hear what everyone's saying and if I were in your positions giving advice I'd say the same thing.

*sigh* It's just so difficult to find 4 grown adults with both a desire to play and free time that coincides at the same time each week or every 2 weeks. I've been trying for over 2 years to get this thing off the ground that I guess I just finally settled on what I could get.

I guess we need to have a talk. Thanks everyone.


Strife2002 wrote:


Interestingly, Player 1 named his horse that because he claims he's terrible at thinking of fantasy names and that sounded the coolest.

First of all, I don't buy the "I named my horse 'Anthrax' because I suck at coming up with fantasy names" defense. That's the defense for naming your horse "Bob."

Strife2002 wrote:
Funny enough, my ORIGINAL original gripe about player 2 that nobody's mentioning, before the dumb name and the desire to be immature, was his desire to steal everything.

I saw no need to break down the general jackassery of the player in question into subcategories of more specific jackassery.

Strife2002 wrote:


And to be fair, the guy isn't JUST interested in doing these annoying things. He actually does have some more traditional PC goals (search for someone to be the new leader to his village, kill a god and take his place, etc.), it's just these are overshadowed by his other dumb goals, and even these legit ones are unimaginative.

It really doesn't matter what else the guy is interested in. The behavior you described is unwelcome at my table, even if the guy brings a cheese tray and soda for everyone at every game session.


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Strife2002 wrote:
2) Another player, a player who's only stated goals in the game are to troll the other players, steal anything not nailed down, and just be a general jackass...

Annoying theives who steal everything not nailed down often die or go to prison for the rest of their lives. Or have their hands removed. All depends on where he gets caught and what their laws are.

And remember. People who run magic shops (if they exist) are not schmucks. Their stores would be like highe end jewelry stores or gun stores today. They sell EXTREMELY valuable and dangerous items. Their in store preparations and securiy would reflect that.

But if he really is in it to only grief your table, save yourself the hassle and tell him he cannot play. Life is too short to deal with asshats at your table who act like spoiled 9 year olds (at least that description seems like that to me).

g0atsticks wrote:
if you don't show up to play, its almost a guarentee that your PC is going to be raped by this guy.

Kill this character. He rapes you, you kill him. And kill every single character he brings in similar to it. If he asks why, tell him rapists deserve death and folks who play rapists are idiotic jerks.


Player two's stated goals of trolling the other players is a deal breaker. Stealing stuff, he will get his for that(as a GM I would make sure of it, unless done well and in character ie not over the top), but making your life and the other player's lives miserable is out of bounds.

As for player 1, people name horses all sorts of silly things. Have him look into derby horse names, he could find something there. Lord knows I have had stupid character and/or mount names over the last 25 plus years.

Good luck!


g0atsticks wrote:
we have a person very similar in our group, except he's always so sexual. he's playing a cleric of POOTIS (sandwiches, look it up), is wearing nothing but knee high stilettos, a pink thong, and always cast light on his schlong.

I'm not sure a body part is a valid target for a light spell.

As for Lion-O... well, if the other players don't mind it seems you have little problem except your own tastes, and if it is more important to cater to your friend and have the extra player, than to have verisimilitude... not much you can do. Though I can't help but wonder if the other characters will appreciate Lion-O enough to chip in for a raise dead spell. Just implement a "no clones" rule at your table. :D

Anthrax isn't such a problem for me. I once played with a guy who similarly had trouble with names. He went for a while with a character named Rutabaga.


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Derek Vande Brake wrote:
Anthrax isn't such a problem for me. I once played with a guy who similarly had trouble with names. He went for a while with a character named Rutabaga.

Tell your player to name his horse Bucephalus. That sounds diseasy AND fantasy. Then have him look it up in Wikipedia.


Gilfalas wrote:
Derek Vande Brake wrote:
Anthrax isn't such a problem for me. I once played with a guy who similarly had trouble with names. He went for a while with a character named Rutabaga.
Tell your player to name his horse Bucephalus. That sounds diseasy AND fantasy. Then have him look it up in Wikipedia.

Yes but could one cast a light spell on old 'phalus?

... i'll go now...

Sczarni RPG Superstar 2013 Top 32

There isn't any theme or attitude which is verboten at a table out of hand, but the GM's expectations and the players' expectations must be in harmony.

Your expectation was that you would create a serious, believable fantasy world and run a game wherein your players would craft a dramatic story.

Your players'--or at least one of your players'--expectations was to dick around, eat pizza, drink beer, and make jokes.

There is no circumstance in which these two expectations may be harmonized that doesn't result in one of the two of you growing frustrated and bitter.

Scarab Sages

Adamantine Dragon wrote:
Strife2002 wrote:


Interestingly, Player 1 named his horse that because he claims he's terrible at thinking of fantasy names and that sounded the coolest.

First of all, I don't buy the "I named my horse 'Anthrax' because I suck at coming up with fantasy names" defense. That's the defense for naming your horse "Bob."

Strife2002 wrote:
Funny enough, my ORIGINAL original gripe about player 2 that nobody's mentioning, before the dumb name and the desire to be immature, was his desire to steal everything.

I saw no need to break down the general jackassery of the player in question into subcategories of more specific jackassery.

Strife2002 wrote:


And to be fair, the guy isn't JUST interested in doing these annoying things. He actually does have some more traditional PC goals (search for someone to be the new leader to his village, kill a god and take his place, etc.), it's just these are overshadowed by his other dumb goals, and even these legit ones are unimaginative.
It really doesn't matter what else the guy is interested in. The behavior you described is unwelcome at my table, even if the guy brings a cheese tray and soda for everyone at every game session.

Cheese tray, and soda for everyone? I might try re-training him into a proper player before I booted him for that kind of bribery.

Scarab Sages

I'll also ask, did you let him know that you find his quirks... less than amusing?
I have the unfortunate habit of utterly destroying my good friends campaigns nearly every... single... time he puts a campaign together. It's not that I'm intentionally trying to ruin his carefully crafted adventure, I just have a unique knack for taking whatever action would most disrupt his carefully laid plans without even knowing it. I'm currently working on a system I can present him with that will allow him to indicate to me that I'm about to do something plot-wrecking without giving it away to everyone else, and without making him feel like he needs to do some heavy-handed railroading to keep the game moving.

Communication is key to a successful group.


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Sounds like you've put a good amount of thought and work into the campaign. My suggestion is do not run it with these players. Give these players a farcical adventure you all can enjoy and save the good stuff for a party of like minds.


g0atsticks wrote:

NOT TO OFFEND ANYONE I'M JUST TELLING A STORY.

we have a person very similar in our group, except he's always so sexual. he's playing a cleric of POOTIS (sandwiches, look it up), is wearing nothing but knee high stilettos, a pink thong, and always cast light on his schlong.

"Why is there flickering light coming out from that tent? Oh! ... O-ohhh..."

Scarab Sages

Pathfinder Rulebook Subscriber

The first thing I would say is to sit down and have a discussion with your group about the lack of seriousness you seem to desire. It sounds like you put a lot of work into creating a very immersive reality and you want the players to reward you by taking it seriously. Nothing wrong with that at all.

But it also sounds like at least one player is looking for a very different sort of game. Try to get everyone on the same page and be clear about what sort of game you want to run, so there is no surprise later on. Maybe you can convince them to play serious in your campaign game, and run a series of one shots or the like where they can be silly, crazy, weird, etc. It is worth a shot. If you get no traction, you can try some of the things suggested below:

About naming horses... after the cavalier in our party started calling his second horse (first one died early on) Ed 2.0, I decided to introduce some personality into his mount so he could have a connection to it. This can really make the things intersting, especially if the mount has an interesting personality. About the time my player's mount gained his 3 INT (can understand common), I wrote this for him. *Here* is the journal entry on our campaign website that might give you some ideas for his mount. I am also reminded of a very cranky horse that belonged to the character Tiger in the Sworddancer series. Whenever it could get away with it, it would screw with Tiger, in an ongoing effort to assert who was most dominant.

Write the backstory for the mount. Maybe its called Anthrax because it prefers to hang out with sheep than horses. Maybe its so mean and ornery that everyone who tries to take care of it gets hurt and is afraid of it (biting and kicking). Maybe once the horse gets a 3 int (he is going to let it understand common right, hmm maybe not the best idea!) he doesn't like his name and refuses to come until the samurai calls him something he does like. In this way, you could turn something annoying into something entertaining and cool for the players and you.

As far as Lion-O, let him cavort about for a while, then bring the heat. Just have his ninja masters (he did have ninja masters who taught him his skills right?) or an enemy school start hunting him. Doing things to draw attention to himself like you describe are going to be painting a big target on his back.


Strife2002 wrote:

...

1) One player, a samurai, has named his horse Anthrax. No big deal, aside from the deadly substance we equate the name to, it sounds fantasy-y out of context.

2) Another player, a player who's only stated goals in the game are to troll the other players, steal anything not nailed down, and just be a general jackass, ...

Player 1), to me this is no big deal. I only play a few hours every other week. Half the time I can't remember my characters name anyway, let alone a horses name.

Player 2), to me this is a problem. Some people play like this and have a blast. Most that I have encountered do not. I'm ok with it for a one off or quick module, but not a long campaign. To be it just gets tiresome. It is amusing to read about in a novel but not to try and coexist with for long periods of time.

First you need to ask yourself a very important question. "Can I deal with and still have fun on a long term basis?" next, if the answer is yes, then you need to ask players 1,3,&4 "Can you deal with this and still have fun on a long term basis?". If the answer to either question is no, then there is an issue to resolve. The only possible way to resolve it is an out of group conversation, "Look none of the rest of us are interested in playing a game involving a bunch of within group conflict like you are planning. Please make a character concept that will work as a part of the team not trying to wreck the team."


One other possible solution to mention is a quick intro short adventure to get the group introducted to each other and the campaign without any pressure. Make it clear that it is not real serious and everyone will be making new characters afterward. Something along the lines of We Be Goblins build for your campaign.

Maybe that will allow player 2 to get his fix of japerary then he can get down to business with a team concept.

Grand Lodge

Exle wrote:
Sounds like you've put a good amount of thought and work into the campaign. My suggestion is do not run it with these players. Give these players a farcical adventure you all can enjoy and save the good stuff for a party of like minds.

This one is wise. Good point/idea.


Strife2002 wrote:
*sigh* It's just so difficult to find 4 grown adults with both a desire to play and free time that coincides at the same time each week or every 2 weeks. I've been trying for over 2 years to get this thing off the ground that I guess I just finally settled on what I could get.

If this is the case - and I feel for you, but - beggars can't be choosers. If, after 2 years, this is what you're stuck with, well... that's what you're stuck with.

If you've finally got willing players after such a long time and then are trying to get them to make good and fitting characters - that'll end up being a recipe for more failure. So you're probably in a 'suck it up or don't play' situation.

(Me? I couldn't even imagine playing in the scenario you're stuck in. Gaming just isn't 'all that'. I've got loads of recreational competition for my free time, and not a lot of free time. The above game wouldn't make my short list...)

Grand Lodge

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Netflix: Way better than this party.

Owner - House of Books and Games LLC

Yeah, I don't think my second party is going to make it - it's just way too incompatible of a mix IMO.


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I've had this happen to me so many times I can't even begin to count them all. I created a whole dark fantasy world based off of HP Lovecraft complete with maps, societies, monarchs, major NPCs with write ups, factions, guilds, etc. only to have it railroaded by "off-color" characters. I also have a limited number of people I know who do any gaming so banning the players in question wasn't really an option for me either.

Best advice: Go with it. Let him rob every store in town... and get hunted down and thrown in jail (or worse) for it. The NPCs may not see him pocket an item but they can put two-and-two together ("First I had that magic ring on display, then Lion-O came in, now it's gone. Hmmm.") Your game isn't Fallout or Elder Scrolls where the NPC's actions are confined to a few predefined, scripted actions. They'll call the guards (who don't really care about his 'civil rights') and make him empty his pockets purely on suspicion. If he's caught -or even simply suspected- have the NPCs chase him around with a torches and pitchforks, or follow him around screaming obscenities and warning other NPCs to watch him like a hawk making sneakiness impossible. Maybe the store he robbed was under Thieves Guild "protection" and are much better at the whole miscreant thing than he ever will be and don't take to kindly to his unsanctioned robbery of people who've paid their racketeering payment.

If you're intent on running a serious game but the players aren't the best way to avoid this is to let them do what he wants and then make them wish he hadn't. *When* he's caught have him publicly branded on the forehead as a thief or lose a hand. Don't be afraid to take him down a peg or two. While harsh it does create a more serious tone and at the same time doesn't restrict the players actions with a bunch of out-of-game bickering. Give him all the rope he wants then hang him with it. Rinse/repeat until his new character is more suited to the scenario you hope to run.

While this method sidelines any hope of plot advancement (which will also likely get the other players to pressure him away from acting in a certain way, doing your job for you) it's better to let him get it out of his system now than later when the consequences to the plot would be more dire.

Do not feel guilty about it either. DMing should be every bit as fun for you as playing is for them. If it isn't because a player is making your life miserable you should take it upon yourself to have fun at that players expense. It's only fair.


I agree with the last statement made. The road goes both ways. If he wants to have fun screwing your world over. Have fun screwing his PC over.

Thieves in our world are treated just like they are in the middle east now.

AN EYE FOR AN EYE. A HAND FOR A HAND.

Those few words will work wonders if you just throw it on them. Let them know the laws of the new town when the make that local check.

The Exchange

Strife2002 wrote:
So this weekend I'll be GMing the first session of my first new campaign...

We have three house rules that I think would help this situation:

1) Fun, means fun for everyone.
2) No Evil characters*
3) No evil players
*may be amended at group consensus

We just rid of the GF of one of my players that was allowed into the group. She, a 30-something woman, insisted on playing a CN Elf Princess Sorcerer (Fey bloodline of course) who blamed her alignment for nonsense decisions and idiocy. Oh yeah she insisted on speaking in character...a grating, nasally falsetto 'baby-girl' voice. I was so happy to kill that character, so happy, so, so happy!


One more house rule you forgot, and probably the most important one of all time.

1-NO SIGNIFICANT OTHERS AT THE TABLE.


Well, it's perhaps a little late, but I have this situation quite frequently. I'm part of the leading group of a roleplaying club which has practically everyone interested involved. The groups here are quite young (early 20's), which makes for quite a few people who has too many silly, immature or otherwise weird ideas.

I have multiple different approaches to the situation:

Sometimes, if everyone is having great fun, even the most serious game can tolerate some bufoonery. I was a player in one game (meant to be horror) where a very unserious player continually got bit in "private" areas, by ratfolk. He stopped joking with everything, especially after he caught lycanthropy. It wasn't a horror game the way the rest wanted, but everyone still had fun and went away happy.
Basically, the GM here defused the situation by making something both scary and fun.

The same is essentially my solution to my kingmaker game with too many players, whose characters are way too rich and so on. They consider themselves the "bastard rulers" who are actually all super good and super lawful. Most of them like to play a little on the less-heroic side, so they joke a lot with that. Still they save up seriousity for the cool scenes by being complete over-silly the rest of the time. And once in a while I hit them with the stick of consequence. They have a very good healer, so deaths are largely inconsequential. Still the traumatic experience of being reincarnated for one player over a year ago still generates awesome play today. Even if it's totally unserious and they liken every other monster to something perverted and turn the rest to stone and úse for statues in their park.

Essentially the two above games are cases of "just roll with it, if everyone is having fun then maybe my intention of running a super-serious game is not what is wanted or needed here". Mind you, the first game was a one night thing, and the other has been running for over a year and everyone still wants to be there.

Then there's the bad ones, where one player or two players wants one thing and the other 1-4 players something entirely else... Those are hard. Often my resolution is
1) Limits/compromise. Say "this one game you play a good, heroic, serious character, and everyone gets to enjoy it - and some other day we play something wacky, silly or evil-centered". Very few people - who are friends - want to annoy everyone else to the point of leaving the game, so compromises that avoid this almost always works.

2) Consequence. Sure you cheat these people and sell them both the same thing - You're now unable to enter the city again, they'll kill you if you do (nevermind that they're not powerful enough, they suddenly are!). Sure, you want to make a deal with someone outside the team "for the greater good". They turn out to be even worse than you thought and you have to deal with the problems and cut yourself free of them - something they don't want to let you, and the rest of the party can't know.

3) Run very Player Knowledge vs. Character Knowledge... i.e. sometimes, some players, like to know that their character is getting screwed really bad by another character. The players are still friends and laughing at it together out-of-game while playing completely ignorant of it in-game can still be fun.

Then there's the hopeless situation. I get that you don't have a huge base of players, and might want the ones who want to play in, even if they're somewhat jerk-like at times. The rest of the people might at times get sad or upset or so on. But you talk to the offending player, he promises to try to take it down to a more endureable level (he probably does, for a short while at least), and you talk to the other player, find out what the REAL problem is (often, it's not in-game) and formulate this to the offending player... it's hard, but you can often mediate your way out of it. Anyway, I can, usually.

I did have one situation that couldn't be solved. The skinny wizard offends the LE Monk. The LE Monk hits the skinny wizard. The wizard is level one, the monk crits, the wizard dies. The wizards player and another player doesn't think the monk is being "lawful" and have a huge argument over it (when the real problem is they feel like they're being stepped on) the end up playing Paladins who are practically CE to prove to me that "alignments need to be taken more serious". The game ends up breaking up.
Conclusion: some people JUST don't fit each other at all. Luckily, they are now able to play in separate groups. In this situation DO NOT force them together. It's hopeless. You'll have paladins using torture, from the technically more gentle player, because he is so set in his opinion that he can't handle an argument.
The only way to deal with the "unsolvable crisis" (which I don't think you have, from your description) is to break it up, let people who don't fit each other play separately. If you like both parties, run separate games for each group.

Sorry, that was long-winded. Hope it was any use.

Scarab Sages

g0atsticks wrote:

One more house rule you forgot, and probably the most important one of all time.

1-NO SIGNIFICANT OTHERS AT THE TABLE.

I've never found this to be necessary. I'm part of a group of 3 couples who all play together and it's fantastic. Now, having your spouse/ significant other as a player at your table during organized play can be a bad thing since you haven't established that level of trust with your players where they know you won't divert a raging monster towards them to spare your significant other, but other than that it's never been an issue in my experience.


Ssalarn wrote:
g0atsticks wrote:

One more house rule you forgot, and probably the most important one of all time.

1-NO SIGNIFICANT OTHERS AT THE TABLE.

I've never found this to be necessary. I'm part of a group of 3 couples who all play together and it's fantastic. Now, having your spouse/ significant other as a player at your table during organized play can be a bad thing since you haven't established that level of trust with your players where they know you won't divert a raging monster towards them to spare your significant other, but other than that it's never been an issue in my experience.

Quite. I've tried having couples where one GM'ed and I've never seen any favourizing of the one of them playing. I play with multiple other couples in the same game. I've seen couples run brilliant intrigues against each other. I've even seen couples accept in-game romance between one from one couple and one from another. An done from a couple being in a game, playing at the couples home, and still, the other one is not disturbing.

It's very much a matter of respect and which kind of people you play with. It can work. To some people it does, to some it doesn't.

Grand Lodge

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I killed my wife's character in our first game together.


Weaponbreaker wrote:
Strife2002 wrote:
So this weekend I'll be GMing the first session of my first new campaign...

We have three house rules that I think would help this situation:

1) Fun, means fun for everyone.
2) No Evil characters*
3) No evil players
*may be amended at group consensus

We just rid of the GF of one of my players that was allowed into the group. She, a 30-something woman, insisted on playing a CN Elf Princess Sorcerer (Fey bloodline of course) who blamed her alignment for nonsense decisions and idiocy. Oh yeah she insisted on speaking in character...a grating, nasally falsetto 'baby-girl' voice. I was so happy to kill that character, so happy, so, so happy!

While I don't go out of my way to kill a character off, I'll usually let them get away with it for a session or two, with no consequences. In my experience, if you fight them on it or show that it's getting under your skin, they'll just do it more. I had a character that exhibited this exact behavior, and after two sessions, I began to encourage the rest of the players (behind closed doors) to set this character straight or I would eventually have to take matters in my own hands, and then it would seem like I was picking on him, which no one wanted. The other players can help too!

If he/she is still doing it, then their idea of fun is clearly not in line with the rest of the party or yours, and it's probably best to ask them to no longer participate. I always use the tried and tested "The needs of the many outweigh the needs of the one."

Both these approaches have worked perfectly for me in the past, even soliciting an apology from the offending player.


1 person marked this as a favorite.

Never game with people you wouldn't otherwise spend time with.

Expect that the quality of interaction will be the same as it is on any other day you spend with that person.

The people with... quirky senses of humor mentioned upthread are no exception. If there's a guy in the group who talks about his genitals all the time, expect that gaming with him will provide no reprieve.

Therefore, a scheduling a game session requires a bit of etiquette, something like a dinner party. You do not invite your slovenly frat-boy friend to the same party as the Lady Haversham and expect everything to go over well.

That said, if everyone's down for a session of non-stop dick jokes, then by all means proceed. Don't take yourself too seriously, and if you find yourself wanting for a serious game, find serious players.

Scarab Sages

TriOmegaZero wrote:
I killed my wife's character in our first game together.

OMG, me too! It was her very first night playing D&D ever, and she'd jumped into my current groups adventure as the rogue they hired to help them break into a dragon's lair. She disarmed a couple traps, got stabbed by a kobold, and then they finally reached the dragon.

I was using the Orange Dragon from Paizo's Compendium back in 3.5 and it had a breath weapon where it spewed sticky goo all over it's targets which exploded like 2 rounds later. When she failed her save against the goo, instead of trying to scrub it off, or waiting for the cleric to heal her and potentially blowing him up too, she threw herself right into the middle of the kobold spearmen who'd responded to the dragon's call and took them all with her when the goo exploded.
She was welcomed by all the players in my group that night, and they actually scooped her into a bag and lugged her back to a temple to pay for a Resurrection out of their profits before continuing any further.

**EDIT** I'm sure context makes this clear, but they scooped her character into a bag....


Luthia wrote:
Ssalarn wrote:
g0atsticks wrote:

One more house rule you forgot, and probably the most important one of all time.

1-NO SIGNIFICANT OTHERS AT THE TABLE.

I've never found this to be necessary. I'm part of a group of 3 couples who all play together and it's fantastic. Now, having your spouse/ significant other as a player at your table during organized play can be a bad thing since you haven't established that level of trust with your players where they know you won't divert a raging monster towards them to spare your significant other, but other than that it's never been an issue in my experience.

Quite. I've tried having couples where one GM'ed and I've never seen any favourizing of the one of them playing. I play with multiple other couples in the same game. I've seen couples run brilliant intrigues against each other. I've even seen couples accept in-game romance between one from one couple and one from another. An done from a couple being in a game, playing at the couples home, and still, the other one is not disturbing.

It's very much a matter of respect and which kind of people you play with. It can work. To some people it does, to some it doesn't.

Perhaps its because I play with some of my closest friends. We told our wives and GFS. Its D&D or drinking at the bars. They chose D&D......like we're cool enough to go to the bar anyways. lol.

Grand Lodge

My wife has also been GMing longer than I have been playing.

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