You are correct sir! (It was funny here after that)
'And the crowd gets ugly'
'They showed up that way'
Nut cocoon!
This happened last night. One of the players had his mouth full, tried to say something that was an exclamation, and despite our best efforts, 'nut cocoon' is what we heard. It became the rallying cry for the evening.
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My Dwarf gunslinger had a phrase he spoke when the party failed to identify an owlbear.
"There is an old and ancient word in Dwarven for this creature, a word lost through the ages, I know that word, EXPERIENCE!" from then on we shouted "EXPERIENCE!" when fighting a creature we could not identify.
By the Power of Prayer Scroll!!
It looks like we've got a mystery to solve gang!
Ru roh! Relp!
Hooooooaaaaaaaaahhhhh is the one our crew now uses seeing as how they have just completed basic training with R Lee Ermey.
Paladin I have not yet made yet: By her light, with my might, for what's right, you die tonight! *cue cleaving enemy in half*
Here is one we picked up from Wanted
'I'm Sorry.'
It is a little funny when saying this while killing people and creatures...it's even better when they say it in slow mo.
"Murder tastes GOOD..."
Said in my best Ace Ventura impression when using the dwarf NPC to power attack/smash mites in the face with a warhammer.
Smoke 'em if you got 'em!
The price is WRONG Bob!
You're about 10 seconds away from the most embarrassing moment of your life.
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"BACON!"
This has been a re-occurring one with our group.
We heard a squeal from a hall, excited for battle and food we all yelled in tandem "Bacon!"
Our elf wizard critting round 1 with a burning hands spell dropping a dire boar. Having killed the thing so quickly with a fire spell we all yelled "BACON!!" as it is now already cooked.
-Hexen
"Puny god." The player thought a lot of himself with this quote...if only he had been built like the Hulk it may have worked out better.
"Brute Force And Ignorance!"
I kid you not... a scion of a noble house, gifted in war as if the god thereof had granted him supernal natural talent. Not only personally-deadly, but actually a brilliant tactician and strategist.
But when he heard that phrase, he hopped online for an English-Latin translator and announced it would be the battle-cry for the portion of his House Guard under his command.
>sigh<
He had some success under that phrase, which always made me twitch a little. But hey, we all had fun with that campaign, so I guess it worked.
Seriously? Bruta, vis et Ignorantia?
To arms! They have two arms!
After fighting with giant squid they were eager to fight normal bad guys.
"I'm terribly sorry about this!"
"Right in the chapkas."
"Heeeeellllpp!"
-Aiden, Last Scion of Erenland
YOU MADE ME COLOR OUTSIDE THE LINES! NOW IT'S ON!!!
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I had a dwarven cleric in the dreaded 4E who was great for them hers a few.
NOO MERCYYY as he charged someone trying to get away in the first encounter of the campaign.
You were a disapointment in life and now you are a disapointment in undeath
Your mother never loved you
Break them! (used that pretty often)
Why wont you simply perish (Elven wizard)
It appears i overvalued your worth (same wizard before "firing" a henchman)
Oh no you dont ( friends ranger)
Here's your dead guys ( Same ranger up-ending a bag of holding full of minions from the opposing guild... along with a few barels of explosives before teleporting away with the wizard. My rogue was waiting with a flaming bolt on a nearby roof. Biggest explosion we've ever organised. We leveled their guild house)
And the party favorite
DONT SHOOT MEEEE
A character of mine, in the book I just finished writing and uploading to Amazon, named Sloan (from Sloan's Law) has an unusual relationship with Murphy and his laws. In one scene he finds himself alone against virtually everyone in the city. Being the only person left to take on the bad guys he says,
“Choke on that, Murphy!”
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These are not mine, but rather a friend of mine's Hellknight, who would probably feel very comfortable as LE.
"One, two, Haladar's coming for you!"
"Hey, lady, ever been teabagged by a sword?" (in reference to his sword, on which he attached a yeti !@#$)
"Pharasma lusts... for your doom!"
"Let's play stabhands!"
Shomer shabbos!
Go practice falling down and bleeding. I'll be there in a minute!
Ninjas? Good. I missed breakfast.
What would I do for a Klondike Bar? This (draws weapon and charges enemy)!
Shomer shabbos!
I don't work, I don't drive a car, I don't f$##ing ride in a car, I don't handle money, I don't turn on the oven, and I SURE AS SHIT DON'T F++$ING ROLL.
BY THE POWER OF MY-SKULL!!
"What do yah mean my Diplomacy roll failed?"
"Don't fire until you see the spite in their eyes!"
"We have nothing to fear but fear itself! And spiders."
"Don't dock me an action for the monologue because remember talking is a free action!"
"I'm SOOOOO glad we're not playing GURPS for this combat."
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HAVOC releases the puppies of mild irrationality
Blood for the Blood God
Skulls for the Skull Throne.
By a LE soul stealing hellknight thing of mine. "I will kill you slowly. Once I can no longer keep you alive send your soul to my master and kill myself. Then torture you for eternity." He was a bad bad man with a soft spot for puppies and children. A LG pally burned down an orphanage with his dog in it trying to catch him.
An unfettered eidolon in one game had this one "For Kifah* and our Lord in Iron!"
Kifah was his deceased Blood God Disciple.
Our GM in mists of mwangi painted the scene at the showers, describing changed curator as "painting the walls with poop"
Before he storms the thing, the priests shouts: "Halt, cease your defecation Desecration!"
(shouted by a paladin of of Pelor) "Your blood for Asmodeus!"
(threat by a pacifist healer) "Kill you? Oh, no, I won't kill you if you harm her... I will need you very much alive. How loudly can you scream? I need a new musical instrument and your tortured cries would be so soothing to my ears!"
(said by paladin) "If you touch one hair on her head, I won't kill you. I will just knock you out. You will awaken, staked above an ant hill and covered in honey. And I will watch as the ants crawl out and start to eat you. Before too much trauma is applied, I will brush the ants off and heal you. Then I'll add more honey."
"You think holding my mother hostage is going to stop me? You don't know me very well!"
And, the group's favorite:
"Good-by-technicality-only people to the rescue!"
I AM HONOR!
That's just wrong...lol
"I am [insert char name here]. You killed my father. Prepare to die."
"I'll send you to the next dimension!"
Not in the face! Not in the face!
I WILL CRUSH!!! CRUSH YOU TO GOO!!!
I must break you.
I hear you guys have REALLY small dicks!
SIR THORULF SMASH!!!
COUNT THE DISMEMBERED!!!
"Please and Thank You!"
- the proper ms etiquette while beheading a purple worm with a tiny sized dagger thanks to the GMs new and improved critical hit tables.
"I hope your family has good life insurance!"
"I'm gonna kill you now, but hey, at least you saved 15% on your car insurance with GEICO."